Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Benefits of a Well Trained Man

Just like any relationship, a Female Led Relationship (FLR) takes effort and work to be successful. This post is aimed at women who are contemplating a FLR or are just starting one. What is in it for the female? 
  • Endless pampering whenever you want
  • No need to do laundry. That's his job now.
  • Kitchen cleaned & dishes washed and put away every night
  • No more pumping gas
  • Bills are paid every month. I don't even think about them.
  • Orgasms whenever I want, however I want and he expects nothing in return
  • A play toy (him) to play with whenever I want
  • Coffee ready for me every morning
  • I have the final say in all matters and he knows this and agrees to it. He yields to my authority and decisions. This means arguments are practically non existent.
  • He anticipates my needs and wants and strives to make me happy. This is huge!
  • Gifts and flowers from him just because he appreciates me
  • Open communication.  We talk about anything.
  • I never have to clean a bathroom again.  Yea!
  • My clothes are ironed every day
  • I do what I want
  • He does everything I tell him to do. 

FLR's are fantastic!  This will not happen all on day one.  It took many years to get Thomas trained properly (and he will always be in training). In the end it is a wonderful thing. I could not imagine any other way.

-MzKaylee

Friday, April 17, 2015

FLR Fosters Good Communication

One of the great benefits of a Female Led Relationship (FLR) is that it creates an environment of regular communication.  At least that has been my experience.  As the leader I have no hesitation with sharing my feelings and expectations with Thomas.  He is also comfortable sharing his feelings and thoughts with me.  It is important to point out that FLR does not mean the submissive's voice and opinions are not heard and taken into consideration.  Perhaps some people run their relationship that way but I would challenge that a relationship like that will not last or is not healthy.    A healthy relationship includes two way communications.  There certainly are times where I will "shush" Thomas and not want to hear what he has to say.  However, in most cases he is allowed to share his opinions and viewpoints.  What make it a FLR is that I have the final say and he yields to my decisions.

There are many characteristics or practices of a FLR that promote healthy communication.  Discipline sessions are a good tool for communication.  These sessions provide an environment where my expectations can be clearly communicated and I can provide clear and poignant feedback on how well Thomas is performing. During a discipline session I have his undivided attention.  Often times when I am disappointed about something Thomas did and I communicate this to Thomas as part of the discipline session, it results in a conversation and I find out there was confusion or a misunderstanding from Thomas (although most times he is aware of what he did and acknowledges his infraction).  In many relationships, people don't communicate when they are upset or disappointed and they harbor negative feelings which hurt the relationship.

Punishments also keep the communication open.  What I love the most about punishments is they help both people put an issue behind them. Thomas is never completely surprised when he is punished.  He knows he was wrong or lazy.  Once the punishment is completed, he has paid his price and can move on.  After I punish him, I completely wipe the issue from my mind and he has a fresh start with me.  I have known people who have been very upset over something their spouse did and they hold onto that grudge for days or even weeks and then it ultimately leads to an argument. In a FLR, the female calls out issue immediately and addresses them with the sub.

I expect and demand pampering from Thomas.  He gives me massages and baths regularly.  I also enjoy teasing his cock and will tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a few minutes.  All these encounters promote interaction between us, which keeps the communication flowing freely.  Ask a person in a typical 'vanilla' relationship when the last time was that they massaged or bathed their partner?  I'm willing to bet most people can't remember or it's been a long time.

Finally, having one person designated as the lead in the relationship avoids arguments and having both spouses fighting to get the last word in or fighting to win.  I am not saying this is easy to accomplish but when the submissive accepts his proper place and yields to the authority of his spouse, it curtails arguments early. If Thomas starts to become argumentative I will firmly state "I am in charge and that's the end of the discussion."  He gets the point real quick.  Other successful tactics I have used is threatening him with a punishment, threatening to take away a privilege, or I may just point to him and say "kneel" or "strip"(Argument ended :)  ).

Please don't take this post as bashing traditional "vanilla"  relationships.  There are many healthy traditional relationships and there are unhealthy FLR relationships.  However, I do feel that in most cases the FLR promotes better communication than a traditional vanilla relationship.  If you read through FLR/Femdom forums or books, you will see many posts of both men and women who indicate that their marriage and relationship with their spouse became stronger once they applied FLR principles.




Monday, April 6, 2015

A Lingerie Drawer for Thomas

This past weekend I was inspecting Thomas's underwear drawer and I realized he has just as many panties and boys underwear.  Add in the two pairs of stockings, garter belt, and bra that he owns and he has more girly things than boy things.  What an exciting discovery that I had to share with him!  I did have fun teasing him about how his panty had grown so large.  Now the bra is not something he wears.  I bought it for him as a deterrent of bad behavior.  If he starts acting up or develops a bad habit, all I need to threaten that he will have to wear it under his shirt and buy something at the corner drug store and his attitude immediately changes.  So it is a punishment tool but it is still part of his lingerie collection and something to tease him with for fun.

I have a six drawer lingerie chest.  I announced to him that since he had such a large collection of girly things, it only made sense for him to have one of the drawers in the chest.  I cleared out the bottom drawer to make room for his items.  His assignment was to move all his girly items from his underwear drawer to the lingerie drawer, with the exception of two pairs of panties. I still wanted a few pairs to remain with his underwear just as a nice reminder.  He of course had to do it while wearing pretty purple panties.

It made for a fun night.  I enjoyed teasing him about how he now had his own drawer and that we now might have to buy more stuff - maybe even real lingerie such as a teddy.  He was quite quiet but fully aroused the whole time.  I know he loved it but was a bit shy or embarrassed about it (which is part of the enjoyment for him).

Mz Kaylee

Appreciation and Thank You

One of the characteristics I love the most about Thomas is the appreciation and gratitude that he shows for me.  Giving appreciation is important for both the dominant and the submissive.  As the leader of the relationship I will thank Thomas when he has been good for me or if he does something thoughtful for me.  I believe this motivates him to serve me even more.  He does the same for me.  He will thank me if I do something special for him like buy his favorite snack or treat him to a special night of teasing.  What I love the most is when he pampers me and then later thanks me for allowing him to pamper me.  Talk about royal treatment!  There are many days where I ride him until I have an orgasm and there is no orgasm for him (in fact that happens most times).  He will thank me for that and tell me how great it was.  I find that incredible!

So guys who are reading this, be sure to show appreciation and thank your wife/mistress/GF for what she does for you. Even if it is for just something small, it will make her feel great.

-Mz Kaylee