tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post5526113232325672019..comments2023-06-15T09:23:47.973-04:00Comments on Femdom Think Tank: Be Consistent With Your Authority and Control - Part IIMz Kayleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-10230891755733896532017-06-02T22:27:42.736-04:002017-06-02T22:27:42.736-04:00Some of us are fortunate enough to be hardwired in...Some of us are fortunate enough to be hardwired in our brains that way. There is this strong, uncontrollable urge to submit to someone more superior and powerful. The training manual of all new husbands should begin with a line that affirms that the wife simply by virtue of her gender is far superior to him.<br /><br />Those of us who have tasted authoritarian rule under a loving and strict wife will never want to go back to an overrated and unrealistic version of life with equality.<br /><br />Yours Humbly,<br />NRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-46041542995658140402017-06-02T03:40:02.790-04:002017-06-02T03:40:02.790-04:00They all need strict -- if they didn't they wo...They all need strict -- if they didn't they wouldn't falling over us just to be our slaves! It'd be a fantasy maybe but that's it. The fact that they are so into slavery proves that they can run but they can't hide from their true slave nature. And slaves, true slaves, need a strong, strict, and authoritarian hand of a loving Mistress. It's just nature.Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08742215665573824422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-90687554908510708332017-05-29T12:23:20.212-04:002017-05-29T12:23:20.212-04:00I have to say - I still underestimate how much my ...I have to say - I still underestimate how much my husband needs strict authority. I definately have a "strictness muscle" in me but still continue to underestimate what he needs or can accept. It seems unnatural but there it is.Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10673748529671658027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-53769568674949162392017-05-23T03:00:20.174-04:002017-05-23T03:00:20.174-04:00Mz Kaylee,
What is your take on corporal punishme...Mz Kaylee,<br /><br />What is your take on corporal punishment for slaves who like corporal punishment but taken to a level that really hurts so it's actual punishment? Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08742215665573824422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-60492737950603069232017-05-22T16:16:35.866-04:002017-05-22T16:16:35.866-04:00Well said Mz Kaylee, The subject of different expe...Well said Mz Kaylee, The subject of different expectations is so often overlooked or brushed aside. I think couples realize there is a problem but either don't know how to deal with it or they hope is will just work itself out. But from what I've seen the failure to resolve these differences in a relationship. Has doomed many of those fledgling FLR's. I have always urged couples to have open and honest communications, to lay out their expectations and work towards a common goal. Doesn't really mater what the goal is, how they go about it or what the FLR will eventually look like. It's up to each couple to decide what they want and don't want in their FLR. There will be a learning curve, but as long as they continue to communicate. The relationship will grow in a positive direction.Sandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00448502889205076557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-48802527696066114062017-05-12T02:38:30.174-04:002017-05-12T02:38:30.174-04:00Part 3 coming up, pleaaaase? Prettty please?Part 3 coming up, pleaaaase? Prettty please?Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08742215665573824422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-40187307144864080012017-05-09T21:02:18.615-04:002017-05-09T21:02:18.615-04:00Dear Marc,
you took a mature and wise decision in ...Dear Marc,<br />you took a mature and wise decision in swallowing your frustration. Over time I have learned to not let my frustrations and misplaced sense of pride affect the flow of the FLR. My wife and I have agreed to let concerns be shared once a week and that lets me vent periodically but it's been a while since I have stopped second guessing and it has helped immensely. The comment from guessinggame4 is so closely linked this as well - the less you challenge, the more her confidence grows. That's a relationship goal for us subs :)<br /><br />NRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-88177292547511714102017-05-06T18:22:13.783-04:002017-05-06T18:22:13.783-04:00"When there is the steep learning curve, the ..."When there is the steep learning curve, the sub needs to have patience, understanding, and persistence. He needs to understand that his wife is not just going to suddenly turn into the dominant woman that he fantasized about and know exactly how to exert her dominance and control."<br /><br />Our experience has been a slow start that accelerated the more that her confidence grew. The more her confidence grew, the more she liked being dominant, which increased her confidence even more, etc. As you say, the best contribution for the sub to make during this time is to be patient.<br /><br />We had something of a breakthrough moment, which helped. <br /><br />GGAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-64875506336570353012017-05-05T07:59:10.274-04:002017-05-05T07:59:10.274-04:00Kathy -This is such an important point that needs ...Kathy -This is such an important point that needs to be emphasized with newer FLR couples. I cringe when I read advice that the male has no rights and that it is all about the woman. As you stated, the woman is the leader and part of her responsibility is to ensure his happiness so it it not all about her. Thank you for sharing. Mz Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-14064654690251384902017-05-05T07:53:40.632-04:002017-05-05T07:53:40.632-04:00Thank you for the update with your wife. I am gla...Thank you for the update with your wife. I am glad to hear you are giving her some room to figure things out. On the "I'm Hers" blog, there is a recent post about his struggles with second-guessing versus just doing things for her and letting things play out. I think it would be a good read for you.Mz Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-56975417375921855712017-05-05T07:49:49.870-04:002017-05-05T07:49:49.870-04:00Becoming more strict and demanding is a little unc...Becoming more strict and demanding is a little uncomfortable for many women. I think you are right that it can because of what has been taught in society. It really is a paradigm shift in thinking for women. Once they make the shift, the possibilities are endless.Mz Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-82081140853701848442017-05-05T07:45:29.628-04:002017-05-05T07:45:29.628-04:00Well said. The right balance between kink and '...Well said. The right balance between kink and 'non-kink' submission will bring the FLR to its fullest potential. I believe both are needed for the FLR to be successful. The FLR can still function if the optimal balance is not there but I truly believe that when the optimal balance is achieved, both husband and wife are at their happiest state. Mz Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-56801455230730662952017-05-05T07:38:28.923-04:002017-05-05T07:38:28.923-04:00Ron - you are right that the woman has to take int...Ron - you are right that the woman has to take interest for it to work. FLR will not work for everyone. What is important for husband's to understand is to not make that judgement themselves without giving it a try and to not throw the towel in too early. There often is a road block early on with some women because they just don't understand FLR. It is up to the husband to get her past that road block. Once she truly understands the benefits of FLR, she will have a different perspective. Also, through support and guidance I believe that any woman can become a leader if she desires to take that path. Just because someone does not lead today does not mean they do not have the potential to lead. Mz Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854917775183890002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-40782254537254038412017-05-03T14:39:31.284-04:002017-05-03T14:39:31.284-04:00A short time ago I was emailing back in forth with...A short time ago I was emailing back in forth with a young man when he made a statement that was true, but yet missed the bigger picture. Lets see he said, in a femdom marriage the wife does whatever she wants and the husband does what he is told. Well, yes to a degree I responded, but there is more to it than that. When a wife accepts a husband as her submissive spouse she is accepting responsibility for his happiness, for the marriage, and for his development. I would have used the word training, but development sounds less kinky. There are times when she needs to push his boundaries.<br />There are times when she needs to reconfirm the message that she is the boss person. There are times when she needs to be the sweet gentle wife, but there are also times when she needs to be firm. Understanding all of this takes time and a willingness to learn. Love, KathyKathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07388565466269673134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-61626979645596492522017-05-01T13:25:53.748-04:002017-05-01T13:25:53.748-04:00 Another great post. I showed my wife your last po... Another great post. I showed my wife your last post and asked her to comment on it but she did not feel comfortable doing so. She did like it and felt overall that it was very helpful. I will also show her this post which was right on as well. Two days ago I found myself frustrated to the point where I almost brought my concerns up to her but fortunately I swallowed them and just became more helpful and submissive. The frustration may have had something to do with a recent big O! In any case I have found that she is getting more and more comfortable as I avoid challenging or second-guessing her in our FLR. It is a great way to be together and this post is one of many very helpful ones. Your second to the last paragraph especially gives room for optimism. Thank you.<br />marc s<br /><br />Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816890193904167897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-39812794297127566262017-05-01T02:04:26.344-04:002017-05-01T02:04:26.344-04:00To sum up, patience and perseverance help in the l...To sum up, patience and perseverance help in the long run. I think both posts from Mz Kaylee focus on doing the right things to build a stable and enduring FLR and not get perturbed if expectations are not immediately met in the short term period. What good is an FLR if it's just fun but fizzles out in a few months?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-59369516432344341902017-04-29T15:38:27.468-04:002017-04-29T15:38:27.468-04:00Another factor that I think gets overlooked is dou...Another factor that I think gets overlooked is doubt on the new-ish Domme's part that he really wants this. My wife and I have talked about this several times. She is adamant that she likes the feeling of being in control and genuinely likes taking charge. When I've told her that I actually feel better the more strict she is with me and ask whether she genuinely likes being strict, she is emphatic that she does. The doubt creeps in because I think she has a hard time conceiving why I would want it. So, she spends a lot of energy worrying about whether, if she really starts saying and doing exactly what she wants and holding me accountable in the way I say I want, will it be too much and I will call it off. I have talked to another Domme about this, and says she spends a lot time wondering and doubting about whether she is being too hard, too demanding, etc. Ironically, that level of strictness is probably what her husband actually wants, so all of us would be better off if women who want to dominate would just take the reins and go for it. The women would get what they want, and so would the men in their lives. But, many years of socialization are hard to overcome, aren't they?Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-91093473264564989692017-04-27T20:02:24.271-04:002017-04-27T20:02:24.271-04:00Mz Kaylee . It is rare for a women to understand...Mz Kaylee . It is rare for a women to understand and embraces a FLR .It would seem almost impossible that she could understand a man's desire to be under her authority .... but you do! Like always your post Is filled with useful insite and should be an invaluable source for couples developing a FLR.<br /><br />I have often wondered why living under the authority of the the woman I love is so powerful and intoxicatingly. Over many years I have grow to understand that this dynamic somehow accelerates the relationship and bring the two people closer together in a way that a vanilla couple will never experience . I have discussed and modeled my desire for a FLR with my future wife many times over the past years since we met . I have never got the " absolute no " you discussed but it is clear that it may never happen. I think the lure that keeps her coming back is the closeness we both feel during the brief times she has experimented with the lifestyle . It is evident even to her that it works and brings us closer together but yet she is just not comfortable embracing her authority and has no understanding of why I desire it. I love her dearly, remain very patient , I make sure she knows that she is in control of how our FLR develops even it means that it never does. <br />Over the years of following blogs that address FLR From the female perspective it is obvious that few women actually see the advantages of the lifestyle and almost always enter the relationship to please their husbands.. I was very disappointed this week to learn that a woman I have followed for many years with a similar blog appears to be tired and ready to give up on this lifestyle. The relationship seems to be based heavily on kink . Keeping his submissive desires satisfied appears to be exhausting and the balance of the FLR is fading . I wish more women could understand that kink play in a FLR is like a hostess Twinkie. A man needs a diet of real authority that includes a confident attitude and little effort on the woman's part. I am thrilled when my future wife actually waits on me to open a door. It excites me if She causally comments about a man she finds attractive, dishes left in the sink are such a treat, my heart nearly jumps out of my chest if she hands me her wine glass to be refilled. No kink needed , yes I know it can be powerful and fun as well but it must be on her terms if it is too work.. Feeding his submissive desires is really about the simple things that involve little effort from the woman and actually make her life a little easier. The big advantage comes into play when she takes steps to improve her life and grow as a person. She willl benefit greatly, her husband will love her even more and if there is children involved even they will live a richer life because there is simply no division in the home .John Daltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12697352411946064602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-44200523062255919522017-04-27T19:02:35.729-04:002017-04-27T19:02:35.729-04:00Hi,
Nice post. You have great understanding of the...Hi,<br />Nice post. You have great understanding of the FLR dynamic.<br />It is true that someone unprepared to lead an FLR needs time to figure out how to make it work for both. Secondly, they have to have some interest in it. While she may engage in it in the short term to gauge its value, and to attempt to placate his wishes, it won't hold up in the long run. Not every woman has the mental makeup to be a leader or the interest to learn how to benefit from it. The best a guy can hope for, is that she, at some level, participates in some of the elements of it. Your husband is a lucky man.<br /><br />RonRonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08218309218004618466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1938012059034696763.post-50679682103361123672017-04-27T12:16:16.670-04:002017-04-27T12:16:16.670-04:00Hi Mz Kaylee. This is really great advice for bot...Hi Mz Kaylee. This is really great advice for both parties.<br /><br />DanDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com