Corner Time

Earlier this year I started using corner time as a punishment with Thomas. I'm finding that there are many benefits to corner time. What I like the most is how easy it is to administer. I simply send him to the corner and he goes. While he's in the corner, I can  watch TV, read a book, or go about my usual business in the house. I could even leave him alone for corner time but then I run the risk of him taking a more relaxed position and not feeling the full effects of the punishment.  Also, I think my presence during his corner time adds a bit of embarrassment for him and makes him feel more submissive. I also think he looks cute kneeling still in the corner :)

Another benefit of corner time is that it can be used for many situations. There are many variations of how you can use corner time, which means it can range from a mild punishment all the way up to a severe punishment. A mild punishment would be having your husband kneel or stand in the corner for a short amount of time. A longer amount of time increases the un-comfort, making it a more severe punishment. Other ways to increase the severity of the punishment is to require him to keep his nose pressed against the wall or have him hold a coin or piece of paper against the wall with his nose You could even have him hold his arms out while standing.

I read a post where a woman had her husband hold a dildo against the wall with his mouth. I thought that was a creative and fun idea that adds a bit of humiliation to the punishment. Little things like that create a deeper feeling of submission in men, which help to elevate your authority and power. The act of being sent to the corner in itself is embarrassing for men as they are being treated like a child. This clearly demonstrates a superior/submissive relationship similar to a mother-child and I think that dynamic is another wonderful benefit of corner time.

I also like corner time because it is a quiet punishment. I don't spank Thomas anymore because I have teenage kids and I do not need to be explaining to them why they are hearing loud slaps in our bedroom :). Instead I close the door and send Thomas to the corner. If the kids come knocking, then he grabs his robe. So far that's not been a problem. Because corner time is so discreet, you could even do it while away or if others are in the house. I've teased with my husband that if he acts up when we are with friends, I'll send him to the corner while they are in the house. If at someone else's house, I'll make him strip naked and stand in the bathtub.  I don't know if I'd truly to that but it is fun to tease him about it and it certainly keeps him on his best behavior.

Corner time is also a good add-on to a spanking or other punishment. After a spanking, the husband could be sent to the corner or he could be spanked while standing in the corner. So far I've only used it as a mild punishment. I'd almost consider my use of it as a combination of punishment and discipline. A constant struggle with Thomas is putting dishes and laundry away in the right spots as well as paying attention to some of the small details when I give him tasks to do. I started to use corner time as a way to punish him for his lack of focus and to motivate him to do better. For every item I find in the wrong spot, he gets 5 minutes of corner time. I find that less then 10 minutes it too easy for him, so he gets a minimum of 10 minutes in the corner. He knows to strip naked and kneel in the corner when I send him to the corner. Sometimes I will order him to wear his punishment panties or I may have him stand in the corner and lower his panties to mid-thigh or at his ankles and he must not drop them or his time in the corner is extended.

Since I implemented corner time I have noticed that he pays more attention when he puts things away and tries to remember where some of the less frequently used items go (those are the ones that often give him problems). His corner time has become less frequent, which is a great thing! It really is an easy and effective punishment. If you are not comfortable with spanking, corner time is a great alternative.

-Mz Kaylee

Getting Started in a FLR (by Debbie)

Below is a guest post from Debbie with advice on how to get started in a FLR.  I read through it and think her advice provides great guidelines for moving forward in a FLR.  Thanks Debbie for your contribution. -Mz Kaylee

Many women ask how to get started in an FLR, especially when they see how obedient and loving David is to me and to women he encounters at home and in work. Many men crave having a woman in charge but are afraid to raise the issue. Women often sense a man's submissive inclinations but fail to seize the opportunity to take control. How does one put the wheels in motion? Well, in every situation we've encountered it's the woman who recognizes her submissive husband's desires and takes charge. A woman friend, Diane, seeing how well David behaved and told me she wished her Jim would be better behaved. Sensing that Jim had submissive tendencies, I told her that all she had to do was assert herself and I could almost guarantee that she and Jim would be on the path to an FLR, Based on my experience with other couples and with my David I gave her some advice and even had David come in and attest to his complete satisfaction with my being in absolute control.

Girls, start small and as he acclimates to your authority accelerate the pace of your control. In our case David, like most men, is excited at the prospect of my having control. I was excited when David told me he wanted structure and routine in the relationship and I was only too happy to oblige him! I immediately started putting a set of rules in place. What kind of rules? Well consider the following:

1) Obedience - David recognizes that I am in charge and have ultimate authority. I may, MAY! consider his opinion but I am the ultimate authority and will make all decisions if I so choose. I give orders; I don't make suggestions or give choices. I order, he obeys!

2) Deference - David shows women respect and deference, not only at home or with relatives or friends but outside the home, too, in public and at work. It's “Yes, Ma'am” or “No, Ma'am”, NEVER “Yeah” or “No”. Women are to be addressed a “Madame” - We don't use 'Mistress' since I consider that to be the stuff of male fantasies and not conducive of an FLR. His deference extends to my family and girlfriends. He learned how each woman wanted to be addressed and complies with their wishes. My sister is Ms. Charon and my girlfriend, Paula, is Ms. Paula. Madam is always appropriate, for example, Madame Paula.

3) Housework - David was put on notice that he would eventually be doing ALL the housework, wash, iron, clean, vacuum, look after my wardrobe, and so on, Women have to invest some time instructing their man on how to do housework but it's a good investment on their part. David, as are most submissive men, was a quick learner and in short order he had a regular routine of housework that he loved. It took surprisingly little time before he was not only doing housework but doing it to my complete satisfaction! As he mastered household tasks I added more, a prospect that excited him. I don't do housework any more; my submissive hubby does it all! YES, ALL of it. He has a set routine of work every day of the week that includes serving me, my family, and my woman friends. I allow David some free time every day but ONLY if his housework is done. You can imagine what his doing housework does for me; I can relax, read, watch TV, go out with my girlfriends, or date - yes, I date. I decided to start dating when one of the guys in the office started asking me out - David has no say in the matter.

4) Finances - I advise women contemplating an FLR to quickly take control of the couple's finances; doing so will solidify your absolute control! More on this later in a post that I will dedicate to this important aspect of an FLR.

5) Discipline. Women should accept the fact that, from time-to-time, they will have to discipline their husbands. Women do themselves AND their husbands a favor when they administer discipline, but more on this in a future post.

6) His friends and leisure activities - Women should be in absolute control of her man's hobbies, friends, and outside activities. Women are sometime reluctant to exert control but her doing so is beneficial to the FLR. You don't want hubby going out with 'the boys' and having bad patriarchal attitudes undoing the rules and routines you've spent so much time putting in place. Again, more in a future post.

His reward? Know he is pleasing me and living a rich, submissive lifestyle. You'll be amazed at all you can accomplish in a short time.

Debbie

The Magic of Panties

Men are fascinated with our panties. There is something magical about panties when it comes to men. From young boys all the way up to old men, a simple glimpse of a woman's panties stirs their arousal and can set off fantasies. How many men have been caught stealing panties? Just for fun I googled it and there were pages of news stories about men caught stealing and sniffing panties. There certainly is no shortage of "upskirt" pictures on the web. It seems that men are dying to see, feel, and yes, even sniff our panties.

A sexy pair of panties in the bedroom can drive a man wild. My husband's eyes are always glued to me when I walk around in panties and bra but there are a few pairs that really grab his attention. His favorites are the shiny silk or satin panties and panties with lacy bottoms. The right pair of panties will most definitely increase your sex appeal and draw your man's attention to you.

Knowing that men are drawn to panties...what is a woman to do with that power? There are many fun things you can do to tap into this fascination that men have with panties.

Stroke his cock with panties
Wrapping a soft or silky pair of panties around his cock and stroking away will certainly elevate his arousal. The magic of panties makes the teasing so much more exciting for him. Having him finish in them is an extra treat for him but be sure to make him hand wash them to clean up his mess. What really drives my husband crazy is when I lightly drag them across his balls and cock over and over again. It's fun to watch his cock twitch as I tease him with the soft fabric.

Condition him to respond to panties
I get a thrill out of conditioning my husband to naturally respond to things; like the Pavlov's dog effect.For example, I've conditioned my husband to get aroused when he comes to give me a foot massage. An idea to try with panties is to only allow him to cum when he's being stroked with panties and use the same pair of panties each time you are going to allow him to cum. Now you can be direct with him and let him know that he will only be allowed to cum when being stroked by those panties but I think it's more fun to let him figure it out on his own. After cumming into panties a few times, he's sure to associate the panties with an orgasm for him. Once that connection is made, let the fun begin! Try leaving the panties lying around in the open and quietly watch his behavior. I bet his eyes drift to them several times. He may even comment on them, hoping that an orgasm is on its way. Another thing you can do is to secretly give them to him when you are out in public and say something like "Don't lose these. We are going to need them for later." It's sure to drive him wild.

Secret panty exchange
That is a good lead into the next idea: Have you ever heard of anyone who slipped off their panties in public and secretly handed them to their boyfriend. I knew a girl who did this in college at a banquet.  It may have been done secretly but but by the end of the night the guys in the room knew about it and were envious. To the guys, there was something exciting, naughty, and sexy about what transpired.  Her boyfriend followed her around like a puppy dog the rest of the night. He could not wait to go him with her. Oh the things kids do! Why not be a kid again, and give the secret panty exchange a try.

Make him sniff your panties
Next let's talk about our panty sniffing men. My guess is that pretty much encompasses every man. Yes, ladies, as disgusting as it may sound, men want to smell our panties. You can bet that your husband has probably secretly sniffed yours at some point. A pair of used panties is like gold to them. Men even pay women to send them their used panties. It brings out the animal in men. The scent of our sex and knowing that the delicate fabric was rubbing our most private area is enough to drive them wild. Now that you know this, it's time to have fun with it. Slide your panties over his head and order him to inhale your scent. There are two scenes you can play out here to tap into his submissive mind. One is to tease that he is a dirty, naughty boy for wanting to sniff your panties and getting excited by it. You can tease at how your sex makes him weak and the more he breathes in your scent, the weaker he becomes and the more he falls under you control He will love it! You may even decide to punish (playfully) him for being so naughty.

The other approach, which I like the most, is to view his sniffing habit as a form of worship. He is worshipping you and your feminine power through inhaling your sexual scent. The more he inhales the deeper his devotion to you becomes and the more he falls under your power. I can toss a pair of my panties to my husband and order him to worship them and he knows what to do. There is strong symbolism at work here, which will take him into deep submission. There are many ways you can incorporate panty sniffing into your relationship.  During sexual play you can order him to sniff or you can place them over his head yourself. He can wear them over his head in just about any situation including kneeling before you, during a punishment, while you tease him, or while sleeping. Sometimes when my husband goes on an overnight business trip, I will slip a pair of my used panties into his suitcase as a treat with a note ordering him to worship daily. If you have any rituals, panty sniffing can be incorporated into the ritual. If you have never forced your husband to worship your panties, you must give it a try! No matter how crazy it sounds, this is one of those things that drive all men wild, even if they are not submissive. You will surely have him under your spell.

Gag him!
Something else you can do is gag him with your panties. Push them into his mouth and order him to keep quiet.  This can be done while you tease him, as part of a punishment or simply when you want him to be quiet.  Again, the symbolism hear is strong.  Having your used panties with the scent of your sex on them, shoved into his mouth can be quite a power trip and push him deep into submission.

Have him hand wash your panties
When it comes to his panties, he always has to hand wash them. No boy panties are allowed in my laundry; house rules.  From time-to-time I will require him to hand wash my panties. I see this as another from of worship. I like to make it a daily ritual. I will either drop my panties on the floor and he has to fetch them before he goes to bed or I will make him pull them off me. He must hand wash them before he goes to bed and hang them to dry. A few times, instead of the daily routine, I've ordered him to dig through the dirty laundry and pull out all my panties and hand wash them. I like doing this after I've teased and denied him so he's nice and horny while he does it.

Make him wear panties
Finally, the last idea I'd like to mention about panties is to force him into a pair.  This is where there is real magic for many men.  I've seen it with my husband. Every time he slips on a pair for me, he gets a small erection.  All I have to do is tell him how cute he looks in them and his erections grows. When he wears panties he becomes quiet and docile. It's amazing the effect it has on him. I can not explain it. You can make him wear them in the bedroom just for fun or you can have him wear them under his clothes during the day. I have a special pair he has to where whenever he is punished. I will make him wear them for several days after the punishment.  the idea that this is something you can do on occasion for fun or something that can be required on a daily basis. With Thomas I started out just doing it occasionally but once I started realizing the effect they had on him, his panty wearing became more frequent.  Let's just say now he spend  much more time in panties during the year then in his boring boy underwear.

I've written a post about putting your man in panties so I will not go into the details here.  I'll just leave you with a few tips:

• The more pretty and feminine the panties the better. A nice silk bow on the back is a nice touch.  As the girly factor goes up, it squashes his mail ego more and pushes him deeper into submission. Thomas has a much sexier collection of panties than I do.
• Thongs are great for punishments because his ass is exposed and so you can spank him while he wears them.  The string up his ass is also a great reminder during the day that he is being punished and needs to improve his behavior
• If you are going to have him in panties on a regular basis, be sure to get him many different styles that hug his body in different ways.  This keeps him from getting used to a particular pair.  If he gets too used to a pair, the effect of panties wears off.  During the winter, mix in a pair of panty hose just for fun.  The tightness all over his feet and legs will certainly have an effect on him.

To my fellow Goddesses, be sure to use the magic of panties to seduce and control your husband. Spend more time in them in front of him. If you are feeling adventurous give one of the ideas above a try. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.  Please share your experiences with this.

Mz Kaylee

The "Hold" Technique

Over the years I’ve discovered a few techniques and methods for bringing out the submission in my husband.  He is submissive by nature so I am not talking about converting him into a submissive husband.  That part has already been done by forces beyond me. What I am referring to is doing things to deepen his submissive state and strengthen his submission to me.

There are a few benefits to doing this. First, a submissive man is happiest when he is in a submissive state and when a woman embraces his submission. A man who falls deep into submission can experience sub-space, which is the ultimate utopia.  I am sure there are many different ways to describe sub-space. My husband explains it as a state of pure pleasure and euphoria in which his mind completely shuts off from the outside world. When he is in sub-space with me, he clings to every word I say and every action I do and obedience to me is filled with pleasure.  He has no thoughts other than to obey me. In essence my thoughts and commands are his thoughts. When he falls into subspace, his inhibitions disappear and he is willing to do just about anything for me. What’s fascinating to me, is just about anything I do to him or ask him to do when he is in sub-space, fills him with pleasure. The kinkier things get, the deeper he falls into sub-space. If you sense that your husband is in a sub-space state, it is a great time to try new kinky things and push his limits because all inhibitions are gone.

So if you want to make your husband happy, then find ways to deepen his submission. A husband’s happiness is important. A happy submissive husband is highly motivated to be devoted to his wife. An unhappy submissive husband becomes frustrated and demotivated. As a loving wife, it is also satisfying to me when I know my husband is happy.

As I noted above, deepening his submission also motivates him to obey me. When I stroke his submissive mind he becomes more devoted to me.  In a way it is his kryptonite. It is a power over him that he can not resist. However, unlike kryptonite, he enjoys falling under my spell and feeling my power over him. When he experiences it, he enjoys it so much that he wants to obey and please me even more. An obedient husband is of course, a wonderful thing and the biggest perk of a FLR for the woman.

Now that I have explained the benefits of deepening his submission, I will share a powerful technique for doing this, that I have discovered with my husband. It is very simple. The technique is to hold his erection firmly and for an extended duration. I don’t squeeze it hard. I just maintain a firm steady hold. It is amazing the effect this has on him. During the time I am holding his erection, his body and mind are 100% focused on his cock and since I am the one holding it, the focus transfers to me. When something has a grip on a man’s aroused cock, his thoughts go nowhere else but to that spot that is causing him arousal. It is like magic. Everything around him disappears at all his energy and thoughts are focused on his cock and what has a hold of it.

A man is not used to feeling a steady firmness around his cock.  He is used to stroking and pulsing but not a steady firmness.  This is an unusual feeling for him and his natural instinct is to thrust and move in order to increase his pleasure. My husband knows he is not allowed to thrust.  It takes concentration and restraint for him to remain still. Something I enjoy doing is teasing him to the brink of orgasm and then instead of releasing his cock, I just hold it firmly and wait for him to calm down.  The first 30 – 60 seconds is pure torture for him as he has to intensely concentrate on not having an orgasm. The temptation to thrust is very high as that is what his mind and body want to do at that very moment. He knows that the slightest thrust will send him over the edge.  He also knows that the slightest squeeze of my hand will send him over the edge. Ladies – talk about a power rush.  When I see my strong husband concentrating and struggling not to move or orgasm and knowing that I could easily send him over the edge with a little squeeze, it is quite an erotic rush.

After the first 30 – 60 seconds, he is usually off the edge but just slightly. This is when I like to give a little squeeze and it takes him back to the edge.  I will wait another 20 – 30 seconds and squeeze again. I often will do this for several minutes without ever letting go and it drives him wild. If I sense he is calming down a bit, I will squeeze lightly in a steady pulsating rhythm and that usually gets him back to the edge. Again, it’s quite an erotic power rush for me to keep him on the edge and watch him trying not cum with a simple squeeze of my fingers (even just applying added pressure with one or two of my fingers can keep him on edge in this state). Such fun for both of us!

I also use the hold technique as a show of power and control. I will hold his erection while I talk to him and give him instructions or feedback on his behavior.  His mind is reeling in pleasure as I talk and you can bet he is wishing and hoping that I will squeeze or stroke. It is hard for him to listen as I talk because I have such a hold on his mind. Not a good technique if you want him to really listen but it is powerful in giving him the feeling of being submissive to you and under your control. I will also lead him around the room or house using his cock as a leash. I will grab his erection and pull him forward and say, “let’s go” or push downward and order “kneel.” He is forced to follow my every move. When doing this I will purposely pull forward or down before ordering him to go/kneel so that I am moving him rather than him reacting to my command. I will purposely walk at an unsteady pace (slow down and speed up) and make sharp turns so that he constantly feels the tugging on his cock.  Since his cock is so firm, when I slow down, he is forced to slow down while also receiving pleasure at the same time due to the force. Sometimes I will let him do the moving but I will control it. For example, when he is kneeling next to the bed while I am lying on the bed, I will reach down and take hold of his cock and order him up onto the bed. In this example I am not leading him but since I am holding his cock, he is very restricted in how he can move. He is forced to stay within an arms length of me as he climbs over me and onto the bed. It is usually awkward for him but that is the point. I am controlling him with his sex organ and that is a very powerful show of authority over him. It is fun to “man handle him” around the room and into different positions by using his cock as a handle/leash without ever letting go. The feeling of having his cock constantly held puts him into a deep submissive state of mind. The submissive state of mind stays with him for days afterward, especially if I do not allow an orgasm.

For all the dominant wives reading this, I encourage you to give it a try.  Spend at least five minutes holding your husband’s erection without letting go and “man handle” him with it. Write back and let everyone know how it goes. I’m curious to see how many men can make it without cumming.

-Mz Kaylee

Absolute Power

There has been good discussion going on in the comments section of the cuckolding posts. It is great to see the topic debated and so many different view points. Thanks to those of you who are participating and I hope the discussion continues and we see similar participation on other topics. It is the discussions that validate the "realness" of the topic and that this is not just crazy fantasy. Often times there are meaningful learning points that come from the comments. The discussions also tend to lead to other interesting topics. My post below was inspired by such as comment. In the discussion of cuckolding, f-sub had raised the following question:

"In a WLM is the wife's power and authority limited in any way at all? Because if the answer is "no" then that is pretty much the definition of an abusive relationship"

In the content of the cuckolding discussion, the question refers to whether or not the wife can decide to date other guys regardless of what her husband wants. Below I will discuss this question in a  terms of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) as a whole and also address it specific to cuckolding. Thank you f-sub for raising this question. It is a complex dynamic and a dynamic worth diving into to better understand.

I'll start by acknowledging that WLMs can be abusive. With any relationship there is potential for abuse. However, an abusive relationship is caused by the behavior of an individual and not by the type of relationship. A wife can have unlimited power and authority over her husband and not be abusive. In a WLM, should the wife have unlimited power and authority over her husband? Ideally Yes.

A key principle of a WLM is that the husband willingly yields to his wife and gives her full authority over him.Three needs to be a desire by the husband to submit to his wife, obey her, and accept her authority over him. However, this principle alone does not define the WLM. For the WLM to be successful there also needs to a commitment from the wife to lead the marriage in a way that is in the best interest of the relationship. The relationship needs to be rooted in love, respect and trust. If all these things exist, then the relationship will be most fulfilling when the wife has absolute authority and power over the husband.

A wife who loves and respects her husband would not force him into a situation that will make him deeply unhappy. A healthy marriage is about doing things together as a couple, enjoying life together, and making each other happy. In a healthy and mature WLM, the husband yields completely to his wife and trusts that she will take care of him and the wife leads by taking into consideration his needs and desires and doing things that will make him happy.

Having authority over a person does not mean that you make all the decisions for that person or that you are being completely self serving in everything that you do. In a WLM having authority means the wife gets to have the final say in all decisions if she desires. In my marriage there are many decisions that I make without consulting Thomas, there are decisions that I consult with him on and there are decisions that I allow him to make on his own. In all cases I always have the right to final say in a decision and Thomas accepts my decision even if it is not what he wants.

The man's needs and desires are important. If the wife does not take care of these, then the husband will become unhappy and will lose his motivation to submit to her or be motivated for the wrong reasons. I have seen where some men proclaim this mantra, that all that matters is what the wife wants. I believe many of them are sincere with this statement, but the only way they can be sincere is if they are already in an environment where their core needs and desires are being met. If the wife suddenly changed course and forced the husband over and over again to do something he completed hated or that disgusted him, would he still believe in this mantra? Probably not.

While I am stating that the husband's needs and desire are important, I also want to make it clear that in the WLM the wife's needs and desires take priority over the husband's. No doubt there will be many times where the husband is not happy with a decision made by the wife and times where the husband wants to do something that the wife does not permit. He should obey her and accept her decision. That is the commitment he made when agreeing to submit to her.

I want to make a distinction between what I just said and my statement earlier in the post in which I said the wife would not force her husband into a situation that will make him deeply unhappy.  There is a big difference between being unhappy and being deeply unhappy.  In any relationship there are going to be disagreements and times where one person is unhappy with the outcome. The unhappiness is not pleasant but usually short-lived and the unhappy person eventually moves on and puts it behind them.This is a normal part of a WLM, but the difference between a traditional marriage and a WLM is that in the WLM, the wife gets the final say and therefore should never end up being the unhappy person. I'd also guess that in the WLM, the unhappiness is very short-lived because the husband is accepts his wife's decision and does not spend a lot of time sulking over it.

When something makes a person deeply unhappy and not just unhappy, it is an issue for the relationship. Deeply unhappy, in the context of my post, is when something has a long-lasting impact on a person and it strongly affects their mood, attitude, or outlook on life. Decisions that negatively affect a person's morals and core beliefs are examples that can have this effect. Cuckolding fits into this category. If either the husband or wife are not comfortable with cuckolding, then it should not be done.

When a wife decides to take a position of control and authority over he husband, it comes with the responsibility of taking care of him and ensuring he remains healthy, safe, and happy.  Honestly, I can not imagine why a wife would want anything different. I want my husband to be happy.  I married him because I love him and his happiness is important to me.

A WLM is not something to enter into lightly.  Before you marry someone, it is important that you spend a tremendous amount of time getting to know them and ensuring your likes, beliefs. and morals are compatible. A marriage should not occur unless there is love, trust, and caring between the couple. The same applies to a WLM. 

In the WLM, the wife should have complete authority and control over the husband. It may take time for this to happen. In many cases, like mine, the wife is not ready for this.  It took me many years before I understood what it meant and before I was comfortable accepting this responsibility.  In other cases, the husband may not be ready to completely yield to his wife in all aspects of his life. It is a journey that both husband and wife experience together. As the journey progresses, both husband and wife evolve and move toward the ideal state. At least, that's how it felt for my husband and I.

Every couple has a different journey.  Some move through it slowly, others speed through it.  Some may even find a happy balance halfway there. My own experiences tell me that the closer you can get to complete authority and submission, the more fulfilling and exciting the WLM will be.

-Mz Kaylee

The Happy House Husband - Debbie's Perspective

Below is a post from Debbie in response to my original post on "The Happy House Husband."  Enjoy!  (Thanks Debbie!)

David has long been doing the household chores. He does the vacuuming, dusting, cleaning, washing, and ironing, in addition to taking care of my mother and sister. He's a submissive do his doing chores is not only beneficial to me but it is a point of fulfillment and pride to him. I seldom compliment him on the cleanness of the house or the perfection of the pleats he's just ironed but when I do it's obviously very satisfying to him. It motivates him to do even more. A piece of advice though, Women shouldn't be complimenting or thinking their husbands too often; why should they? He's only serving her as she deserves and it's a great source of satisfaction for him. My David gets criticism much more than he gets praise – it works for us!

I certainly agree that your man's having a routine is very important. David has chores to do EVERY DAY. Typically he has 3-4 hours of work to do on weekends and 6-7 hours on weekends. During the week he starts dinner, dusts, runs the vacuum, freshens the bath rooms, gathers the clothes I've worn that day to either be washed or dry cleaned, and he serves me dinner. We often talk about our work and what went on. I like to know what's going on at his office since I know women whose husbands he works with and there just might be some little tidbits that I pass along. Knowing what's happening and passing it along helps my girlfriends keep control of their man.  David likes hearing what happened during my day, too.

On weekends I often go out with my mother and sister, to the mall or some other event while David does the 'heavy cleaning'. Typically we entertain or visit with other couples on Saturday night. David enjoys going out for an evening especially since he ends up serving the ladies, a point of great satisfaction for him.  David does get free time and internet access each day as a reward of sorts and to simply relax.

When we get together with other FLM couples we know the men congregate in the kitchen and the women in the living room. Submissive men have competitive nature and it comes out at these parties as the men try to out do each other in serving – and pleasing! - the ladies. David always bakes some scrumptious pastries and loves the compliments received. Tom always brings along a special wine, and so on.The men always get to come and converse with the ladies but only after they have served the ladies.

So, ladies, don't ever underestimate how much your submissive man enjoys pleasing you and give him every opportunity to do do!

-Debbie

Real Life Examples of FLM in action (by David)

In an earlier post, a reader commented how it was obvious his friend was in a FLM because he was afraid to let his wife know how much he paid for a stereo, fearing his wife's disapproval.  Below, our guest contributor, David share some real life experiences of his own. Thanks for sharing David.

 In our home Ms. Debbie doesn't permit me to make major purchases without her knowledge or participation. The last item she permitted me to select was a new iron; of course she deferred to me since, in our home, I do all the ironing so she let me chose. It was funny but we went into three stores and at each one the sales person originally directed their sales pitch at Ms. Debbie who informed each of them that I did the ironing and so I would be the one making the selection. I informed Ms. Debbie of my choice and she agreed, saying “So, this is the one you want?”To which I replied, “Yes, Ma'am”. The lady, making the sale, was impressed with the control Ms. Debbie had and commented that she wished her hubby did the ironing to which Ms. Debbie commented, “He can, and will if you insist on it. Men respond well if told what to do”. Old stereotypes don't apply in FLMs...

Another instance we were at a restaurant and the waiter was surprised when Ms. Debbie ordered for herself and then for me. The waiter missed his cue even after I responded “Yes, Ma'am” to a question she posed. Nevertheless, complying with the rules off patriarchy, the waiter focused his attention on me throughout the meal despite my efforts to redirect attention to Ms. Debbie. When the check was presented it was placed in front of me. Ms. Debbie took the check and provided her credit card and told him, “The sooner you learn how to treat a modern women, the better your tip will be”. She left him a minimal tip and complained to the manager. Two weeks later we visited the same restaurant and had the same waiter whose service was completely focused on Ms. Debbie. She commented to the waiter, “it seems you've learned some lessons, little man”. Indeed he had. After our last visit the restaurant manager conducted some 'gender awareness' training that made the wait staff aware of how they should treat a 'modern woman'.

Another instance concerned my after work activities. A group of guys from work were planning an after work social of sorts and I was asked to go with them. Now our FLM had some rules concerning the husband's outside activities and I announced that I couldn't go without my wife's permission – a response that took them back and resulted in some smirks and laughter. I made a call on my office speaker phone to Ms. Debbie's cell phone – she was out of town on business – and asked her permission. Within earshot, “Definitely not”, was her response, adding that I was behind on my chores and that I had better get my priorities straight. “Well, Ms. Debbie says “No” so it looks like I can't go,” I responded. Hoots of laughter followed with one so called 'friend' commenting “we know who wears the pants in your family, and who wears the pantyhose.” “Are you wearing pantyhose?” one guy, laughing, asked. Another chimed in, “What's with the Ms. Debbie thing, do you always call her Ms. Debbie?” Another added, “what does she call you, sissy David?” More laughs and a comment, “you are really pussy-whipped”. The guys left for the bar laughing and tossing more derogatory comments. Now maybe I could have gone any way but I dared not disobey Ms. Debbie – not only was I conditioned to obey, but had I gone, one or more of Ms. Debbie's woman friends who worked in my office and always kept tabs on me, would have surely let her know, resulting some serious discipline. After they left one of Ms. Debbie's woman friends, Phyllis, came to my office and said, “We heard the whole thing and you did the right thing.” She added, “but you shouldn't have asked at all, you know you have things that need tended to”. Both women posed a rhetorical question, “who do you want to please, your wife or a bunch of jerks? The answer was obvious – Ms. Debbie. The next day the harassment from the guys continued but Phillis went to our HR manager and two of the guys received a reprimand. The negative comments continued and I'm an outsider with the guys but – more importantly my stature with the women, particularly Ms. Debbie's friends, was enhanced. When Ms. Debbie returned I was given a few face slaps and admonished not to “ask stupid questions” and her rules on going out were reviewed I was rewarded when the net week I was given permission to have an after work social at the bar with Ms. Debbie's office friends, Phillis, Joan, and Charlene. The girls laughing reviewed the events of the last week and posed two questions: was I pussy-whipped like the guys said?” and “were you wearing pantyhose the night the guys wanted me to go out? To the first question my response was a resounding, “YES”. As for my wearing pantyhose as the guys alleged, well I left that question to their imagination...

David