Happy New Year

Wishing you all a happy new year! With a new year approaching, it is a good time to think about how to make your WLM even better. To my fellow Goddesses, think about changes you can make to "up" your Goddess lifestyle and what things can be done to motivate your husband to serve and obey you even more. Can he take on more chores or pamper you more? Is there a new routine that can be added to your week or day? What additional rules can you add to keep him in line or make him feel even more controlled and owned by you? You can make it a goal to be more strict, hold him more accountable by enforcing punishments, or just try new things and pushing his or your limits. It can be exciting to try something completely new such as experimenting with chastity, strap-on sex, or feminization. 

Adding a theme to the year can be fun. For example, you can tell him that in 2020 you are going to explore his feminine side more or that the focus will be on training him to be a better slave for you. Other themes can be that he will learn to worship you like a Goddess or that you will explore pet play with him. There is no shortage of themes that can be used. Let your creative mind run wild!  Throughout the year you can buy items, set expectations and plan activities and training that support the theme. Themes are also nice because they help the submissive get into the right mind set and stay focused. It can be a fun journey to gradually explore the theme during the year, going deeper and deeper into it as the year progresses. 

For those of you that are submissive husbands, think about how you can better serve your wife. What can you do to make her live like a Goddess? What can you do to make her happier? Think about telling her that you want to be a better husband and want to do a better job at serving her. Don't be afraid to ask for her help with it and ask for her to give you feedback and hold you accountable in 2020.

It's healthy for any relationship to try new things and evolve the relationship. It keeps things fun and exciting and helps the couple grow closer together.  So what are you going to do about it in 2020?

Happy New Year!

Why Dealing With Submissive Men is Like Dealing With a Five Year Old

Thanks to all who participated in the discussion from the last post. There were quite an array of responses - some agree, some disagree and some in the middle. A few people took it a step further and talked about men actually being treated like a child or baby, which was not the intent of my question, but I enjoyed the comments and hearing about the experiences. I was glad to see differing opinions because that makes a good discussion and leads to more thought provoking comments. More people disagreed than agreed with the statement that "dealing with men is like dealing with a five year old." I think that is because more men responded than women. Special thanks to the few women that responded. It was disappointing that we did not hear from more women because the question really is aimed at women. While I enjoyed reading all the comment from the guys, the reality is that guys can not fairly comment on the subject because it is the women who have to deal with them.

The idea of posting the question came as a result of correspondence I was having with another woman who is in a WLM. As we shared our experiences and dynamics in our WLMs, we both concluded that many of the things we do with our husbands are similar to what you would do with a child. Examples include: having to punish or spank them, sending them to the corner, being very specific and authoritative when telling them what to do, having to regularly monitor the tasks that they do to ensure they are done correctly, telling them "good boy," regularly questioning them on things they've done, and talking with them, using a motherly tone.

Some of the reactions and things that submissive men do also reminded us of what a child would do. The guilty look on his face when I question him about sitting in my chair, the sad look when he is punished, or the pouting when he is not happy are examples. Another common example is how submissive men are constantly vying for our attention and will do silly or bad things just to get it. We can see right through that boys! On the positive side, when I use a strict and demanding tone he responds immediately, similar to a child who knows not to disobey his mother in that moment.

I  am not implying the submissive men are the same as a five-year old and that men have the same maturity level of a five-year old. There are moments when they act like a child but overall submissive men certainly are more mature than than a child.  My earlier post on the "Strong Submissive Man," emphasizes the the many great qualities of submissive men and those strong qualities are clearly above the level of a five-year old. What I am merely stating in this post is that there are similarities in dealing with children and dealing with submissive men,

Dealing with submissive men is like dealing with a child but that is not necessarily a bad thing. It is just something for women to understand as the embark on a WLM. Women need to feel comfortable punishing their husbands, being authoritative, and acting in a motherly way toward them. It may seem strange at first but the more you accept and do these things, the more natural it feels and the better results you will get with your husband.

-Mz Kaylee.

Just for fun: Agree or Disagree

Dealing with submissive men is like dealing with a 5-Year old

The Strong Submissive Man

I want to dispel a myth or rumor that you may have heard. Often times I hear of people who think or have the impression that submissive men are weak and inferior people. That is far from the truth. Submission does not mean weak or that a person is inferior. From a hierarchy or power point of view they are inferior to someone else but it does not make them an inferior as person. A submissive man is also not automatically submissive to others. My husband is 100% submissive to me but at work he is a leader and has employees reporting to him. He is well respected among his friends. I would not expect or want him to feel that he is submissive to others.

I do tease him that he is weak. That is part fantasy play but let's also acknowledge that he is weak for me; not a weak person but my feminine power over him makes him weak for me. That's no different than other guys, right? The most macho men, the most intelligent men, even powerful men are weak in the presence of  women that they are attracted to or women who know how to seduce him and press his hot buttons. So there you have it, both submissive men and macho men have the same weaknesses when it comes to women.

Now let's talk about some of the qualities of the submissive man that I consider much better qualities than the typical non-submissive man:

• You are great communicators and for the most pat open and honest about feelings. I have learned to be a better communicator because of my husband. Because of this we have very few arguments and resolve differences quickly and without holding grudges.
• You listen and pay attention to your wife. Your primary focus is on her and family and not your friends. This is huge! I can't tell you how many guys I see that are more interested in hanging out with their friends than their wife. That's an issue! Your wife should be your #1 priority. 
• When you are asked or told to do something, you do it without arguing or giving an attitude (most of the time :).
• You say "I love you" a lot and are more open to showing your vulnerability. 
• You do many things on your own to show appreciation for your wife such as buy her flowers just to make her day better.
• You do all the chores that  your wife does not like doing.
• Orgasm denial has trained you well.  You have stamina and endurance that can outlast most men

When I read the above list, I do not see weakness. I see a strong, caring, and hardworking man.  I see man that I would be lucky to know and lucky to be married to.  Guys - do not be ashamed of your submission or view yourselves as weak or inferior to others. Embrace your submission, be proud of it, and recognize that you are a strong person with great qualities.

-Mz Kaylee.

Why I Love My Submissive Husband

1. On Sunday I woke up and a hot cup of coffee was waiting for me, made just the way I like it. That is an every day occurrence for me.
2. I relaxed most of the day and watched TV while hubby did all his chores- laundry, vacuum, clean bathrooms, etc.
3. I had a few errands to do and he was my personal chauffeur. It's nice to not have to worry about driving.
4. In the afternoon I cooked and baked. I do not delegate these activities because I enjoy them. However, the mess I make and all the dirty dishes are cleaned up by hubby. Baking is much more enjoyable when I don't have to clean up.
5. He fills my car with gas and withdraws cash from the ATM for me for the week. I love that this happens every week without me telling him to do it.
6. I tell him to get something out of my car for me. He jumps to it immediately without question.
7. In the evening he showers and shaves (both face and balls) in preparation for our night routine. It's nice to have a smooth clean man in bed.
8. Before bed he bathes me and massages me. After my massage I allow him to pleasure me. He gives me a fantastic orgasm without expecting one in return.
9. After my orgasm, I send him to kneel naked in the corner. He has been good the past week so it is not a punishment but instead it serves as a reminder of his position in our marriage. 
10. I drift to sleep while he kneels in the corner and reflects on his submission to me. Before he goes to bed he will let the dog out,  lock up the house for the night and turn off all lights.

Submissive men are great! If you don't have one you are missing out big time!

-MzKaylee

Pet Names and Alternate Personalities

"Pet" names are common in in relationships and very common in Wife Led Marriages (WLM). I am using the term 'pet' very loosely. In the context of this article, pet names refer to any name that you call your husband other than his birth name. For example, a few pet names I have for my husband are slave and slave boy.

In a WLM there are a few benefits to having a pet name for your submissive husband. First, referring to your husband with a pet name on a regular basis is a constant reminder of his position beneath you in the hierarchy of your relationship. When you have a pet in the house, the pet is at the bottom of the hierarchy. You are the owner of the pet and the pet is trained to be obedient and follow commands. Assigning a pet name to your husband, has this same connotation. Of course you need to make sure the name you choose appropriately conveys his inferior position. Some examples:

• Pet, Puppy, Dog, Kitty, Kitty-cat
• Slave, Slave-Boy, Puppet
• Girl, Princess, Sissy, Baby-doll
• Cutie, Cute Boy, Angel, Precious 

Another benefit of a pet name is that using it helps put your husband into submissive mode. When I say, "slave bring me a cup of coffee," it creates and instant response from Thomas and also creates an emotional reaction in him that surfaces his submissive feelings. It is a different feeling than if I were to just ask him to get me a cup of coffee.  Some names have a stronger impact than others. When I refer to Thomas as 'slave,' it most definitely conveys a message that his is beneath me and must obey. 'Slave boy' has an even stronger impact because the term 'boy' implies that he is my child and not a mature adult. Likewise, in the examples above, 'Sissy' is a much stronger word than girl. Calling a guy a girl suggests that he has feminine qualities, which may be embarrassing for a guy but as us women know, feminine qualities are a good thing and are good for guys to have. Guys with feminine traits are more accepted in today's world. On the other hand 'Sissy' implies weakness an inferiority and it is very humiliating and demeaning for a guy to be called a sissy. A wife who calls her husband a sissy will generate feelings of strong submissiveness and humiliation in her husband. I personally do not think names with strong negative connotations should be used on a regular basis.  However, they can be very effective when role playing for fun or for punishment. For example, as part of Thomas's corner time punishment, I could make him wear panties with the word Sissy embroidered on them and I could make him write a letter of an apology to me and sign it at sissy Thomas. Having him wear the sissy panties under his clothes at work would be another form of punishment. I've seen sissy panties for sale on Etsy that are super silky and frilly and definitely not something a woman would wear. They would make for a good punishment.

There are several terms that can be added to the pet names to make them even more inferior names. Examples include, 'little,', 'baby,' and 'boy.' You could refer to your husband as little boy, little Johnny, baby girl, little pup, or slave baby. Pet names can also be attached to a fetish. If your guy has a foot fetish, you could call him foot boy or toe licker. I think it's fun to use initials. You could call him WFF for "weak for my feet."  If your guy is into small penis humiliation, you could use names like peewee or baby boy or just use the word little in front of his name. Do not underestimate the power of these words. It is amazing the effect they can have on a submissive guy when used over and over again. I notice with my husband, simply saying good boy or good girl, put him in a submissive and obedient mood. It's like a switch flips in his mind when I reward him with a 'good boy' and he wants to listen and obey me even more. Sounds crazy but believe me, the effect is real.  Give it a try.

I recommend having multiple names that can be used in different situations. 'Slave' and 'Slave Boy' are the pet names I use on a regular basis. In fact, when he give me cards, writes me letters, and sends me texts he is required to sign them as either slave or slave boy. If there is a chance that the message can be seen (e.g. texting), he will use the initials SB. In addition to those names, I will often refer to him as 'girl' when he is acting silly or in a girlish way. I may refer to him as girl or princess when we are in the bedroom because I usually have him in panties. Most definitely when we are shopping for panties, I play the girl card. Other names I call him are 'pet' and 'toy' or 'boy toy'. I use pet when we are role-playing. 'Toy' and 'Boy-toy' are names I use when I want to be pleasured by him but don't want any of his drama and am not in the mood to play with him. He is a toy that exists to pleasure me. I may also come up with a name on the fly that I use just once or twice. Once when he was worshiping my ass with my tongue, I teased that he was a good ass kisser and brown noser. The next day when I saw him, I said, "there's my little brown noser," I know it sent his mind in a tizzy thinking about what he did the night before.

Creating an Alternate Personality
A powerful technique for tapping into his submission and exerting your power over him is to create an alternate personality that is associated with the a pet name. Often times this happens without you realizing it because pet names tend to be used regularly under the same situations so the husband becomes conditioned to react a certain way when the pet name is used. It is even more powerful (and fun) to formally create the alternate personality. You do this through role playing and establishing specific behavior expectations when the name is used. For a traditional couple, this role-play is just fantasy fun.  The great thing for the WLM couple is that as you role-play it over and over again, it transitions into that blended fantasy-reality world and it can lead to some fun, intense, mind blowing moments for the couple. In the WLM, the pet name can become a trigger that instantly surfaces the alternate personality.

This is a very powerful technique for the wife to use to break down barriers and push limits with her husband. The reason it is so powerful is that it is easy for a guy to let go of his inhibitions and forget about societal preconceptions when he is given permission to take on an alternate personality. It is similar to someone who puts on a mask or costume at a Halloween party or someone who takes on a role in a play. A person hiding behind a mask often feels more at liberty to do silly things and take on the personality of the mask. An actor in a play who embraces the role, has no issue being over dramatic and playing out the character role because he/she is expected to act that way. The same is true when you train your husband to take on a new personality. Once he drops into that tole, you will be amazed how what you can get him to do.

The fist time you give it a try it may seem silly but the more you play with it, the less silly it becomes and it turns into exciting and arousing fun. It is a lot of fun creating the alternate personality and it is also fun to resurface the personality whenever you want. Below are some specific examples:

Toy
As your toy, train him to be still and not move and not speak unless given permission. He pleases you only the way you order him to. As a toy, his pleasure does not matter. He is not permitted to cum as a toy and should not expect it. He exists solely to pleasure you. It is easy to train this personality. Simply have him lie on the bed, sit on top of him and say, "Tonight you are my toy. I am going to use you for my pleasure. You are not to move or speak and you will not orgasm." If you are in a more playful mood, you can drag it out a bit and tease his cock while you go over the rules. Then once all the rules are established go to work and use him for your pleasure. Be very direct in what you want him to do. If he does something without your permission, reprimand him immediately. For example if you are on top of him riding his cock and he starts to thrust, immediately command, "no thrusting toy!" Sometimes I like to add a physical reinforcement when I reprimand him such as pinching his nipples or punching him (my punches do not hurt him. It's more for effect). During the whole episode, refer to him as 'toy' as much as possible. When you are done you could say things like, 'thank you toy,' or 'I am done with you toy, calm yourself down.'

Remember, that the ultimate goal you are trying to accomplish is to create a personality and not just a one time fantasy play. You can do this simply by repeating the above episode over and over again and eventually he is conditioned to be your toy. You could also be more direct and let him know that going forward whenever you refer to him as toy, you expect that he behaves exactly as you trained him. The benefit to the personality is that you don't have to explain things every time. If you are in the mood to be pleasured and not wanting to deal with his neediness, you just say, 'toy, meet me in the bedroom,' and he will know what to do. "wham-bam, thank you toy!"

Feminization
Creating an alternate female personality for your husband can be exciting. This is one that I like because there are so many facets to feminization that you can explore with your husband and you can explore just a little bit or go as deep as you want. The femme personality is also a great way to offset the macho male personality. If he is starting to act up and go back to bad habits, simply bring out the little girl in him and suddenly he is under your thumb and ready to obey. I do find that my husband is more focused on me and in good behavior when he is in panties. Building a female persona can be a great mind game for your husband and it is something that you can continually evolve over time.

It's best to build the personality when he is fully aroused and while you tease his cock. This reduces his resistance, makes it exciting for him, and links his pleasure to the feminization. Give him a female name. This is the mask that he can hide behind. Suppose you call him Tammy. You can tell him that you want Tammy to come out and play and that when Tammy is out, he needs to shed all his masculine habits and become more soft. This simple reframing from his male name to a female name allows him to step into the female role without guilt. When he is Tammy he is free to be feminine and when you are done with Tammy, he can go back to his boring old self and forget about Tammy.

I've used this a few times just to have a fun weekend. I'll say something like, I want this to be girls weekend. It's time to put Thomas away for awhile and bring out Tammy to play or I might say, I want to bring out the little girl in you this weekend.. Thomas gets excited by this and immediately drops into a docile and submissive frame of mind. He knows that the weekend will be filled with him wearing frilly and lacy lingerie. I will also bring out the female personality if his bad male habits begin to show. On occasion he will talk to me with a bit of attitude, which is never acceptable to me. I may tell him that his bad male side is starting to show and so I don't want to talk to Thomas and that I want Tammy instead. By the time I am done with Tammy, his attitude is completely changed and he emerges from being an obedient girl to a completely obedient boy.

Those are just a few examples. There are many other personalities you can develop such as a kitten, puppy, baby, or a slut. Make sure you keep it all in good fun. The techniques above are intended to spice up the relationship and are not a necessity of a WLM. I would love to hear what pet names you all use and if you have role played any personalities.

-Mz Kaylee

Corner Time Follow-up

Earlier this year, I wrote a post on corner time. I started using corner time with my husband for both discipline and punishment. I often experiment with new things in my WLM and I am happy to report that corner time is one of those techniques that is working well for me and my husband. I like it because it is very easy for me to administer and it helps my husband stay focused on doing things correctly and to my satisfaction.

What has been working well for me is to review his behavior on a weekly basis and if there are things that require improvement, he is sent to kneel in the corner naked or in panties for a specified period of time. The amount of time depends on how many things require improvement and how bad the behavior was. I will usually lay in bed and read while he kneels quietly in the corner. This weekly routine makes it easy for me to provide feedback to him on his performance. I find that I am giving more feedback than what I previously was doing, which has helped him keep up with his chores and do them the way I expect. In addition to incorporating corner time into our weekly routine on occasion, if he does something really bad (like talk to me with an attitude), I will send him to the corner right away and not wait for the weekly routine. Fortunately I've only had to do this a few times.

I actually enjoy seeing him kneeling in the corner for me and I can tell it has an effect on him. It puts him into submissive mode. Something that many couples do is have maintenance spankings where the husband is spanked regularly as a form of discipline and to keep him focused on serving his wife and to reinforce his submission to her. I have done those in the past but spanking is just not something I stuck with on a regular basis. However, I am finding that corner time is much easier to do on a regular basis (well easier for me :) ). Therefore, I recently began incorporating "maintenance corner time" into our weekly routine. This means that each week he will be sent to the corner. If he has been good, it will be 5 - 10 minutes for him to meditate and get his mind into submissive mode for me. If he requires discipline or punishment then it will be 15 or more minutes of corner time. In talking to Thomas, I've figured out that 10 minutes is pretty easy and not much of a punishment, which is why punishment or discipline will always be at least 15 minutes.

I started the maintenance corner time a few weeks ago and it has been working out good. It keeps him in a good submissive space and helps him stay focused on doing his chores the right way.

-Mz Kaylee