Monday, January 9, 2023

Ruined Orgasm Fun!

The ruined orgasm is a very useful tool for the dominant wife. If you are not familiar with a ruined orgasm, it is when all pleasure or pressure is removed from a guy's cock as soon as he starts to orgasm or just before his orgasm starts but after the point of no return.  The simplest example is when a wife strokes her husbands cock and stops stroking as soon as he starts to orgasm. The result is that he orgasms without any pressure around his cock and therefore after the initial burst of pleasure, all pleasure disappears even though he is cumming. He is basically robbed of having a full-blown orgasm.

So the bad part of the ruined orgasm (RO) is that he is robbed of his pleasure and that can be very frustrating for him. That's the only bad thing I can think of.  There are many 'Good' attributes of the RO for a submissive man. First, many men will remain erect after the RO or they will be able to become erect shortly after the RO. This allows the wife to continue to have fun with his cock. Second, most men will remain horny after the RO, thus avoiding "sub-drop" or drastically shortening the length of sub-drop. Sub-drop is the drained feeling that men get after an orgasm. It's like all their energy is sapped away and they become uninterested in sex, cuddling, or being with the wife. This drop occurs with most men, not just submissive men. However, in the FLR community it is referred to as sub-drop. For submissives, a real negative aspect of sub-drop is that they lose interest in being submissive to their partner and may become miserable or disobedient if she demands something of him. Sub-drop can last anywhere from a few hours to several days, depending on the person. When a man experiences a RO, usually there is either no drop or the drop period is very short. Therefore, he remains in a submissive and obedient mindset after RO.

Finally, another benefit of RO is that when it is purposely done by the wife, it is a direct form of control, and experiencing that control is exciting for submissives. As frustrating as the RO is for the guy, it also is exciting for him to be controlled like that. I recently gave my husband a RO after he had been denied orgasm for 9+ months. He had no idea it was coming  I was teasing his cock at the same time he was pleasuring me with his fingers. As my orgasm came closer, I stroked harder and when he begged for orgasm, I said "yes", which was a surprise for him because he always expects a "no". It took a second to register in his mind and then he got excited an pumped his cock hard into my hand. As soon as I knew his orgasm was starting I released his cock. My orgasm subsequently started. It was very humorous as he humped the air and moaned while he continued pleasuring me and bringing me to orgasm. When all was said and done, he sat across from me, still hard and a bit flustered.  "What happened," he asked. I giggled and said, "Did you like that?" He was still trying to make sense of it. Then he asked, "you did that on purpose?" When I said yes, I think his cock twitched and grew harder.  I think he was more horny afterward than before. lol!

ROs have also been used as punishments. If he has been disobedient, then his next orgasm will be a RO. On the flip side ROs can add spice and mystery to the WLM. There are many fun ways to incorporate it into your sex life. As described above, the surprise RO can be a lot of fun. However, a planned RO can be an exciting activity for both husband and wife. An example is the wife announces that she is going to allow a ruined orgasm. Then she strokes him until he starts to cum. As soon as he starts to cum she lets go of his cock. Of course it's even more fun if the wife does some teasing before the RO. There are many fun variations of this technique that can be experimented with:

  • During the teasing, require him to ask for permission to cum each time he is about to cum. Give him a few 'no's before you finally say 'yes'. 
  • Tease him ever so slowly holding him on edge as long as you can, until he finally can't control himself and he orgasms.  
  • Give him a count down to cum. Try letting go when you get to 2 and see if he can still cum at 1. The most torturous RO is when the pleasure stops before the orgasm starts but after he is past the point of no return. It is quite fun to watch his cock twitch on its own and then see a dribble of cum spill out or a small spurt.
Using teasing with RO is good training for him as it conditions him to hold back his orgasm for you. It will help him build up his tolerance for riding the edge of orgasm. It is also a good way for the wife to learn how to anticipate his orgasm and discover different techniques to keep him on edge and drive him wild. Another fun approach is to have him masturbate and ruin his own orgasm. The wife can sit back and enjoy the show. The variations above can even be incorporated into his self-teasing. 

The last approach that I'll share, is one that I stumbled across by accident and is a real mind fuck for him. It requires cooperation from him and strong will power. I discovered it when we were having sex. My husband has gotten good at holding back his orgasm during sex so that I can orgasm without him having an orgasm (and this is a mind fuck for him in itself). However, sometimes it is difficult for him and I have to stop a few times to let him calm down. One time when he asked to stop, I was on the verge of orgasm and could not stop. I told him I didn't want him to cum and to not move and hold back as best he could. As always, I was on top and so I did not need him to move. He remained stiff as a board as my orgasm hit and I rode him hard. He was concentrating so hard but he could not hold back the orgasm. However, even when he started to ejaculate, he remained still and tried to suppress his orgasm. It was a powerful orgasm for me, but he missed all the pleasure because he was so focused on not cumming. It was a different type of RO because after his orgasm started, his cock was still engulfed by me. In fact I was having an orgasm at the same time so all the physical pleasures were present as he suppressed his orgasm. When I think about it, it was pretty amazing that he was able to remain still.

A few days afterward, my husband confessed to me that ever since he experienced the RO during sex, he had a very strong desire to have sex with me again. Not only was it a desire for sex, but it was a desire to thrust into me during sex. Well if you are a follower of my blog, you know that is problematic. First, it is rare that I even allow him the privilege of having his cock in me. Second, I am on top and in control whenever we have sex and he is not allowed to thrust into me, unless I order him to.in order to give me pleasure. Lastly, it is even more rare that he is allowed to orgasm during sex. Unfortunately for him the RO was his rare moment and it was not going to happen again anytime soon. I have to say it was really nice to be lusted after for several days :). I guess his mind and body knew it should have experienced orgasmic pleasure and it wanted a "re-do." Lol! It seemed that this type of RO had a stronger physical and mental effect on him than the RO where all pleasure was removed.

So there you have it ladies. If you want to really blow your guy's mind, have him promise to surpress his orgasm no matter what and then have fun trying to give him the best orgasm ever! As I said above, this will only work if he is committed to following your orders.

So tell me guys, would you rather be denied for a year or have a few ruined orgasms during the year?

-Mz Kaylee











Tuesday, December 27, 2022

The Annual New Year's Resolution Post

I have re-published this post from last year, with a few updates.  Enjoy!

This is the time of year that many people look forward to the coming year and think about what will they do better and how will they improve as a person. The typical resolutions you hear year-after-year include:

  • Exercise more
  • Eat healthier
  • Be a better person
  • Save more money
  • Spend more time with family
  • Get a new job
  • Quit smoking
Wouldn't it be great if people thought about resolutions for their marriage?  It's not something I ever thought of until I transitioned to a WLM. One of the fascinating things for me about WLM, is that I am constantly assessing and re-assessing how things are working and looking for ways to make the WLM better (i.e. what can hubby do more of to make my life better :). If you don't do this, well I highly recommend that you do.

With a new year starting, there is no better time to take a step back and assess how the WLM is going, and then look forward and think about how you want your WLM to be in the next year. If your WLM went off the tracks and fell to the wayside, the New Year is a great excuse to bring it back to the forefront and try it again or revive it. Maybe you are not in a WLM, but you have been thinking about giving it a try. Now is the time to dive in! And if your WLM is humming along good, there's always room to try new things to keep the marriage exciting and fun. I enjoy trying new things throughout the year or changing up some of the rules and routines. It is fun and it helps keep Thomas motivated to serve me.

For the dominant wife, think about:
  • What can I do better to motivate him to obey me and be my ideal submissive husband?
  • What can I have him do to make my life better? 
    • Added chores, activities, and/or responsibilities
    • Better attitude; more listening.
    • Being more proactive in serving you
    • More pampering
  • How can I be more dominant and strict with my husband?
  • How can I add more structure to the WLM in a way that caters to his submissive desires while making my life easier?
  • What new rituals or routines can I add to increase his devotion to me and improve his performance?
  • Are there rules and routines that should be eliminated because they are just not adding value or to make room for new rules and routines?
When thinking about these questions and what you want, also think about specific actions you can do to make your resolutions and goals happen. Then set specific goals of how you will improve your WLM and dominance over your husband, and the steps you will take to achieve these goals. It's important to be specific and to identify the steps to achieve your goals. This will increase the probability that you will follow-through on your goals. For example, suppose your overall goal is to be more strict with your husband. If you set that goal and did not think about anything else, you are not likely to achieve the goal because it's very general and you've not identified the action items you need to do to be more strict. A better way to write the goal is: 

I will be more strict with my husband by doing the following:
  • Telling him what to do and not asking
  • Making a weekly list of tasks for him to complete 
  • Providing him feedback immediately when I am not satisfied with his performance
  • Disciplining or punishing him when he slacks off or disobeys.
  • Holding him to high expectations.
The above goal is specific and contains action items and therefore, sets a clear path for you to achieve the goal, as well as measure how well you are progressing to achieving it. It is also important to write your goals down. Those who write their goals down are more likely to achieve them. Writing out your goals also provides a mechanism for you to review your goals regularly so that you stay on target. On a monthly basis, read through your goals to refresh what your plan is and refocus as needed. Finally make sure your goals are achievable. Don't try to do too much at once, or you'll stress yourself out. Think about spreading things out over the year.  I like to break the year up into quarters (every 3 months). If you want to keep it simple set goals for the first half of the year and goals for the second half of the year. Here's an example of quarterly goals:  Q1 (Jan-Mar): Become more strict, Q2 (Apr - Jun): Train him to do the laundry, Q3 (Jul - Sep): By September, he will be able to go 1 month without orgasm, Q4 (Oct - Dec): He will bathe me at least once a week. 

Don't get too worked up if you get off track or if something does not work out the way you planned. It's ok to be flexible and adjust goals if your situation changes. The key is to regularly review your goals and get back on track if you've gone off the rails a bit. Believe me, my WLM has gone off the rails several times in the past. The way I got back on track was to reset and re-establish rules and routines with Thomas. Usually I started with a punishment or tough discipline session with Thomas because that always gets him to refocus. Something I learned over the years is that the sooner you react to issues or challenges, the easier it is to recover and that it is never to late to get back on track. For example, In the goal above, I listed 5 action items. Suppose you started off the year and only did one action item. Don't let that discourage you. That is still progress. Doing one thing is better than doing none. Instead of giving up or beating yourself up over not doing the other four items, keep moving forward with the goal and try to do more.

It is rewarding when you set goals and achieve them, and for the WLM, it has a very positive impact on you and your marriage. Every year, I feel like my WLM progresses to a new and exciting level and that my husband and I grow closer together. When I look back over the years, I am amazed and how far I have come as a dominant wife and how much our marriage has changed for the better. It does not happen by itself. It takes commitment and planning, especially in the early years, but the payoff is well worth it.

Happy New Year!

-Mz Kaylee


Sunday, December 25, 2022

The Final Version: 12 Days of a FLR Christmas

 On the 12th Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me...

Twelve Golden Showers_

Eleven :Loads of Laundry.

Ten Lords for Cuckolding

Nine Ladies Trampling and Laughing 

Eight Maids a-Pegging

Seven Clothespins Pinching

Six Whips-a-Flaying_

Five Gold O Rings

Four calling Bells

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!


Merry  Christmas!!  

Thanks all who participated.

-Mz Kaylee

Friday, December 23, 2022

Two for one to finish it out: One the 12th Day of Christmas........

 Fill in the blanks:  

On the 12th Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me...

Twelve ____________

Eleven ____________.

Ten Lords for Cuckolding

Nine Ladies Trampling and Laughing 

Eight Maids a-Pegging

Seven Clothespins Pinching

Six Whips-a-Flaying_

Five Gold O Rings

Four calling Bells

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!


I will pick a response to move on to the next round......

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Almost There! On the 10th Day of Christmas........

Fill in the blank:  

On the 10th Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me....

Ten Lords ____________

Nine Ladies Trampling and Laughing 

Eight Maids a-Pegging

Seven Clothespins Pinching

Six Whips-a-Flaying_

Five Gold O Rings

Four calling Bells

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!


I will pick a response to move on to the next round......

Monday, December 19, 2022

On the Ninth day of Christmas......

 Fill in the blank:  

On the 9th Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me....

Nine Ladies __________

Eight Maids a-Pegging

Seven Clothespins Pinching

Six Whips-a-Flaying_

Five Gold O Rings

Four calling Bells

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!


I will pick a response to move on to the next round......

Saturday, December 17, 2022

On the Eight Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me....

Fill in the blank:  

On the 8th Day of Christmas My Mistress Gave to Me....

Eight Maids _________

Seven Clothespins Pinching

Six Whips-a-Flaying_

Five Gold O Rings

Four calling Bells

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!


I will pick a response to move on to the next round......