Sunday, August 14, 2016

Been Away and Annonymous Posting

I have been away for a few weeks and it has taken me awhile to get caught up with things at home and get back to posting.  I hope to have a new post up soon. I am glad to see there were comments and conversation on the posts while I was away. Sometimes, the best information comes from the discussion in the comments and not within the posts themselves. I appreciate the few people who nudged me to post more. I may need that every now and then.

I have a request for those posting comments - please end your comment with a name or initials.  I understand the reasons to post anonymous and have no issue with it.  The name you give does not have to be real so you can still be anonymous.  Having a name, helps with the continuity of the conversation.  It helps me understand if several comments are from the same person or is it all different people.  It also helps to understand if the person is male or female. By understanding these things, I can write more meaningful responses.


Monday, July 4, 2016

Petting The Dog

So I am going to have al little fun with this post.  I was corresponding with someone about how we love to tease our guys and how they love it to.  Through the discussion it occurred to me that teasing a man is a lot like petting a dog.  Think about a dog.  When you pet a dog, he is your best friend.  His tail wags, he sits by your side and is happy.  I swear my dog gets this look on his face like "oh yeah...that's good." There is nothing the dog cares about at that moment other than enjoying you petting him. Have you ever been to someone's house where you pet the dog and now the dog won't leave you alone.  He will sit by your side as long as you pet him and if you stop petting him, he will look at you like, "I want more," and nudge you with his nose.  If the dog knows you are someone that always pets him, he is going to come back for more and more.

Now translate that to teasing your man.  When I am stroking Thomas's cock he is still and focused on nothing but the pleasure I am giving him.  He could lay or stand by me all day while I stroke him. If I do a long steady tease with him, it actually relaxes him and is even hypnotic.  If he had a tail, it would be wagging.  He always wants more.  When I stop and tell him to put it away, he gets this look of disappointment. Often times he even begs me for more.  Such a cute doggie! Since I tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a minute or two, he is always on the lookout for a little tease.  Sometimes I can tell he is hanging around me in hopes to get a little rub.  If I do bite and give him a rub, he gets this wonderful look of satisfaction on his face.  Like that little joy you get when biting into a delicious piece of chocolate.

And just like a dog, Thomas is so obedient for me.  After a little rubbing, I could give him an order and he will follow.  "Sit," "roll-over." Ha!-Ha!! No, it's more like "Run to the store and pick up milk," or "My car needs to be washed." He will run off happily and obey.

-Mz Kaylee

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Hmmmm - How Big Is It (Written by Mary)

I am thrilled to have this post from a guest author, Mary.  It has always been my vision to have others contribute to this blog so that you as the readers get a great mix of topics and viewpoints.  Mary has stumbled across a fun "little thing" that hits a submissive chord within her husband.  It's great when you can uncover these things about your partner because it adds fun and excitement to the relationship.  Knowing how to push his submissive buttons also strengthens your authority over him and trust me..submissive men love to have these buttons pushed.  A big thanks to Mary for contributing. Enjoy...  

Hmmmm - How Big Is It
I have to confess - I feel I literally stumbled across the the topic of "penis size" as it relates to female dominant or female led marriages/relationships.  I am no expert and what I relate here is only my experience.  It may or may not relate to what others have run into.  I have not thought this all the way all.  I thought that I could write enough to provide stimulus for
the thoughts and wisdom of others. I hope I don't offend.
First let me say that my own interest in this "little issue" ultimately relates to connection.  For me that is my main interest in being in and exploring female led marriage.  My sense is that it can offer an incredibly deep and special connection that can sometimes wane in long term relations.  To me good relations include "vulnerability" and I expect this "little issue" certainly relates to that.

First an "intro" - I expect there is hardly a sole alive who has not considered the topic of "penis size" - some care more, some care less but I think it does run across most persons minds at some point.  Certainly the ladies but maybe even more so - guys, some who have confessed to me that they thought about it very early on in life.

Even before I began to explore a female led marriage more explicitly I was no doubt a bit of a tease and pretty dominant with guys - even before marriage.  That is just how I always was.  I sort of liked to "use my feminine power" I guess.  I think it was in this context I came across the issue of "small penis teasing".  In truth my husband is not the "most endowed fellow on the planet"  (just saying) and in my naturally flirty manner I guess I pointed this out - um, more than once.  

The first couple of times it was sort of "innocent" (well...sort of).  I recall one of the very first times seeing his penis and saying "Awwww, it's so sweet".  I think at the time it was more of a natural response and I was not fully realizing that a man would prefer to hear "Oh wow, honey, aren't you huge"!  I was having for me a natural response and the word "sweet" just came to mind and lips.  However I quickly noticed I got something of a "quiet response" - really a totally quiet and submissive sort of "non response".  Not until the second or third time did I really realize that he had a "reaction" and a very powerful one to being teased in this way.

I  bounced around the internet and found some things on the subject of "male endowment".  Some of it was silly and pornographic but a few other things were of interest.  I began to experiment more.  Some of this was not nearly as "pre-meditative" as it sounds - more just me being a bit, well teasing.  Once at a dinner my husband (then fiance) was "asserting" his opinion on something (it was what movie to see) a bit more than I would like.  I softly said to him in a sort of "teacher tone" -
"Are we forgetting how big we are not"?  He knew exactly what I was referring to and got a lovely "quiet" to him.  That time I clearly saw it.  I let it sink in a moment and then said "That's much better".  

I have found other ways to tease him on this.  I think it is a mixture of excitement (after all his wife is talking about his penis which he loves) but also a sort of anxious tension in that I am pointing out who (no he) is in charge.  It has increasingly become somewhat of a game for me.  I know he feels way vulnerable and very, very submissive when I bring this up.  He is submissive so I think in a sense he likes to feel these feelings.  The other day I fondled him somewhat out of the blue (something I do from time to time) and said "Oh, sweetheart, you feel especially small today".  I don't know what the trigger is but not much later he was virtually begging to be allowed to give me oral sex.  Maybe it is the submissive mans desire to please?  I wonder if when I indicate one "part" of him is not so manly his drive to be "of service" in other areas goes through the roof.  I don't understand it but my experience is real.

Recently I have been "on the hunt" for new ways to tease him around this.  Sometimes he tries to "play it off" like he does not notice it or does not have a reaction.  But the other day he (weakly) asked "You would not tell any of your girlfriends about it would you"?  I think he is torn - I think he is terrified of that but I also think there is some part of him that almost wants me to tell one of my girls!   I have even looked at actors on TV and wondered (out loud) "Honey how much bigger do you think he is than you......if you were just guessing"?
Now that I have found this "button" I am on the hunt for additional manners of teasing him.  I find it draws us close. I cannot explain that entirely.  I really cannot.  It seems to give him a sort of "freeze response".  All of a sudden he is "under me", quiet, submissive.  Though he can be dominant out in the World I truly do not believe it is how he naturally can be with me.  There is something in this endowment business that speaks to that.  Not sure was all super endowed and dominant but then our relationship would not be as it is if that were so!  

I'd love to hear thoughts on this.  Hoping I don't get judged too harshly.


Sunday, June 26, 2016

Tapping Into His Submissive Mind - Orgasm Control

As noted in my last post, I would like to share some ideas and techniques for tapping into the male submissive mind.  My hope is that both women who are starting out in a FLR and those who are well into a FLR find something useful in my writing and apply it in their relationship.  When starting out in a FLR there are so many options to consider and it is often challenging for the woman to make sense of everything and figure out what to do.  For women who start to figure it out and successfully move forward with a FLR, the challenge becomes keeping the FLR going strong and keeping him obedient and disciplined without having the work effort consume all your time.  It seems that there is a ton of blogs and articles on how to get started in a FLR but I don't see much writing on the maintaining the FLR or advanced FLR techniques.  I hope to fill that gap with my blog.

The starting point for this discussion was easy for me to figure out and probably no surprise to many of you.  The best place I thought to start this discussion was with orgasm denial or what I think is more appropriately termed for a FLR, orgasm control and management.  With orgasm control your are not just denying him orgasm; you are taking control of when and how he can orgasm.  For simplicity sake, I will refer to it as Orgasm Control (OC) in my writing. 

 OC is the obvious staring point for discussion because most couples in a FLR incorporate some form of OC in their relationship and it becomes a core component of the relationship. If you are familiar with OC, please bear with me while I bring others up to speed. OC is the concept of the wife taking control and ownership of the man's orgasm.  She determines when and how he orgasms.  He must have her permission to orgasm.  This means no masturbating for him unless she allows it. Typically the husband is regularly denied orgasm and given permission to orgasm on an infrequent basis.  The time frame between orgasms is up to her and varies greatly by couples.  For some people it is days, for others it is weeks, and some even go months without orgasm.  Usually what happens is in the beginning it is just days and then overtime as the couple experiments with it and the man builds up a tolerance, the time frame becomes longer.  With my husband, Thomas, I like to vary the time frame to keep him guessing.  He typically goes 6 - 8 weeks without an orgasm.  Some times it will be shorter and sometimes I will make him go even longer.

Orgasm denial is one of those concepts that seem bizarre or just does not make sense on the surface.  It is easy for a wife to feel confused if her husband proposes the idea.  A woman may even feel there is something wrong with her if her husband does not want to have an orgasm.  These are all natural feelings and that is why it is important for the husband to help his wife understand the reasoning for wanting to be denied. 

If it is being approached from the opposite direction in which the wife is wanting to enforce OC on her husband, it is an equally sensitive topic.  It usually requires the wife to take it slow and even seduce or slowly rationalize her husband into trying it.  Once he begins to experience it, he often becomes hooked and even addicted to OC.  There is a lot of information about this on the Internet so I will leave that up to you to research if  you want to know more on how to introduce your husband to OC.  What I would like to discuss is the dynamics behind OC and why it is a powerful tool in the FLR.

It is important to understand that OC is not just about denying him orgasms. If you took the extreme and just ignored your husband's sexual desires and did not allow him to orgasm, it accomplishes nothing.  In fact it would probably create resentment with him. It would be no different than a vanilla marriage in which there is no sex.  We all know this scenario usually ends with an affair.  This certainly is not the goal of OC.  OC involves taking active control and ownership of his orgasms.  You are still engaging in sexual play with him, but he is not permitted orgasm without your permission. Thomas is never....let me repeat, never allowed to have an orgasm without my permission.  He must always ask for permission before having an orgasm, even if we are in the heat of the moment. He has also been trained to not expect an orgasm.  He will ask, but he knows the answer will most likely be no so he must always be planning to restrain himself from orgasm.  If he has an accident, he will be held accountable and will be punished.  If I find out he masturbated, you better believe he will be punished and it will be a very unpleasant punishment.  He understands these consequences. 

There are two key benefits to OC.  The first is maintaining his sexual energy and interest in you.  It is well known that the minute a man has an orgasm, his sexual energy diminishes significantly, he becomes tired, and he loses interest in the woman.  The loss of interest and sexual energy can even last for days.  By limiting his orgasms, a woman can keep his sexual energy high on a regular basis.  If he is denied orgasm during sexual play, she can assure that her needs are completely attended to and even expect continued attention and pampering afterward.  It truly is wonderful.

The second major benefit is that it establishes the wife's authority over him and puts her at the center of his focus.  The woman becomes the gatekeeper for his orgasms.  Men are highly sexual creatures and are constantly wanting to orgasm. The only way to get an orgasm now is through the wife.  He knows that he must be on his best behavior and please her in order for her to ultimately give him permission to orgasm.  This forces all his energies to be focused on her.  Prior to OC he could turn to porn and masturbation for release but now he must focus on pleasing her to get release. 

Remember in my last post when I noted that men thing about sext several times an hour?  Well now when he thinks about sex, he is going to be thinking about how to please his wife in order to get release.  One of the most fascinating confessions from Thomas was about how his sexual daydreams changed as a result of my control over him and his orgasms.  Previously, when he daydreamed or thought about sext 2 - 3 times an hour, he would mostly fantasize about situations with other women (yes, men do this.  Do not take is personally.  It's just how their brains are wired). Once OC was in place his fantasies evolved around me and he began to day dream about different scenarios of me teasing him and different things I would "force" him to do in order to earn an orgasm.  Wow!  What a confession and what a significant change. He basically admitted that he was thinking about me all day.  I became the center of his focus and these daydreams fueled his desire to be obedient to me even more.  It was a confession I will never forget and one that helped build my confidence in being the dominant partner.

Establishing OC in a relationship is a HUGE step for the woman in creating real power and authority over her husband. At first it may seem like fantasy but over time the dynamic establishes real power and authority. Once you've established OC, you have tremendous leverage and power over him that can be used to influence and motivate him.The first week Thomas and I experimented with OC, we were like horny little teenagers.  I think I teased and denied him every night, while making him give me orgasms.  It was a ton of fun for both of us and it really drove him wild.  Let's just say I really enjoyed this new power and he loved all the attention he was getting from me.  I had no clue what I was getting into.  At that time for me, it was just kinky fun and fantasy play. However, once we started with OC, we always kept the rule in place that I was in charge of his orgasm. For Thomas this was a new reality and forced him to come to me when he was horny and I think I was surprised that he actually did it and stuck with it.  In a matter of weeks, I began to realize I had a real authority over him and that it was more than just fantasy.  Fast forward to today, and it is an integral and natural part of our lifestyle.  

While this may be a power move for the woman, when done right, it also becomes a fantasy come true for the man.  Yes, believe it or not, most men love OC.  It is a win-win scenario for the relationship.  For many submissive men, just the idea or thought of you owning their orgasm is a thrill because they love the power dynamic and the feeling of being controlled and owned.  To drive Thomas wild, all I have to do is spend a few minutes telling him how I own him, I own his orgasm, and I can decide whether or not he'll ever be allowed to orgasm again.  I don't even have to touch him.  This kind of talk will get him all horned up.  He is so weak. lol.  Now when you combine OC with sexual play and lost of teasing of his cock or even using it to exert control over your husband, that's what drive men wild.

I recommend teasing your man regularly and bringing him to the brink of orgasm often.  I try to bring Thomas to an erection daily and bring him to the brink of orgasm a few times a week.  Don't worry, it really is not hard work. When you are practicing OC, he is always horny and so getting him hard is as easy as walking up to him in the middle of the day and rubbing his crotch for a minute or two (or less!). The purpose of this is to ensure that his OC is pleasurable so that he stays interested in OC and also focused on you.  He now knows that not only do you control his orgasms, but you also provide him with pleasure.  You may even find that he tries to spend more time with you or near you in hopes of getting a little rub.  I've notice this with Thomas. It really is cute and I love it.  So now instead of turning to porn for pleasure, he is conditioned to come to you and try to please you in order to get pleasure.

Now here is the interesting things with men (most men). Their arousal just seems to build and build. With OC and continued teasing, they can be in a continuous state of arousal.  This means high energy and more focus on you. Thomas always tells me that he is perpetually aroused and he loves it.  I have read several accounts where men admitted that the longer they were denied, the weaker their will power became and the more they wanted to please their wife.  Through continued denial and teasing it is as if their mind slowly turns to mush.  Some men even admit that their thoughts become more perverted as their arousal builds over time.  That's when you get the, "Ill do anything you want" response.  Think of all the possibilities ladies???

I do notice with Thomas, that when he is highly aroused or has been denied for a long period of time, he becomes somewhat obsessed with submission and sexual thoughts.  That's usually when I get notes from him confessing his desire to serve me and be obedient to me and even wanting to worship me. This is clear proof of how powerful OC can be.  It drives a deep submissive state of mind for Thomas and a desire to obey me. 

Now with some men, long-term denial causes stress and anxiety.  It is important to monitor this and respond accordingly. If you notice this anxiety, then it probably is time to allow him to orgasm.  Not all men react positively to OC and some men can not handle long-term denial. You need to adapt to your situation.  When Thomas starts to get very annoying and needy, I know it is time to allow an orgasm.

One note of caution, is that even with OC, you should still allow for recovery time after an orgasm.  In fact your man may crash even harder after an orgasm if he has been denied orgasm for a long period of time.  This is just the natural biological response of the male body and you need to allow for it.  When Thomas has an orgasm, there is usually a day or two afterward in which I keep a bit of a distance from him to allow him to recoup and reenergize.  Of course, there is a solution for that to.  Ruined orgasms are a great way to avoid the post-orgasm crash but that is a topic for another day.....

I will end with one final thought.  The great thing about orgasm control for the man is that even though he is being denied orgasms, the sexual attention and activity from his wife is much higher than before OC.  With OC, men experience the intense thrill of teasing and arousal and this becomes more exciting than the orgasm itself.  I would say the man under OC has a much better sex life and is happier than the man who is not under OC.


Saturday, June 25, 2016

Tapping Into His Submission

The submissive mind is complex and not always easy to understand. Trying to make sense of submission can be challenging and even frustrating at times. If you have been lucky enough to have your husband confess his desire to be submissive, then I am sure you've experienced an emotional ride as you've tried to make sense of it all.  It is a wonderful thing so I keep at it!

I believe that most men don't even understand the dynamics of their own submission.  Countless submissive men are seeking to satisfy their submissive desires through online relationships or even visiting a dominatrix. It is no secret that a dominatrix clientele is mostly married men and I am sure there is no shortage of married men seeking out femdom online. Deep in my heart, I believe that many of these men love their wives and do not want to hurt them. So why are they doing this? In submissive men in particular, there is a strong nagging need to have their submissive desires met.  When this desire it not met at home, they seek it somewhere else. To understand this concept even more, I recommend reading the Femdom101 blog by Kathy. She has first hand experience with this with her husband and has done a tremendous job at sharing her experience and thoughts on this. She has such an amazing and understanding view point.

The problem with these online or dominatrix relationships, is they are strictly kink based.  It is not a true relationship.  Love does not exist.  It becomes kinky fun but when it is over, there is nothing.  There is no fulfillment for the guy and so he keeps seeking more and more kink, only to experience short-term gratification. It is also very easy for a guy to be taken advantage of in these situations. How much money is he going to spend to chasing his desires?

One would think with such a strong desire, the husband would bring the topic up to his wife.  That is a bit of a mystery to me. I suspect it has to do with embarrassment and fear of rejection.  If the wife rejects the idea, then what happens?  He is shit out of luck.  Perhaps some of the male readers can share their thoughts on this. If you are a guy with these desires and have not told your wife, why have you not brought the topic up?

I certainly do not condone a married many seeking out these online relationship or visiting a dominatrix.  It obviously is not fair to the wife.  It takes away his focus on her.  How much energy is he spending online which is energy that should be focused on her and his marriage? How much money is he spending on it, which is really money that should be used for more productive things?  As he becomes more consumed with online relationships or porn, the chances are greater that  communication and intimacy with his wife are breaking down.

If we as wives, understand the submissive dynamic, not only can we satisfy his desires, we can also direct his submissive desires toward more productive things. While the submissive dynamic is complex, it can be understood.  Submissive desires vary for each man, but I believe there are many common underlying themes.  There are many techniques, strategies, and tools that can be used to keep him satisfied and happy, as well as an obedient husband to you.  It is important to employ these techniques regularly and not neglect his submissive desires. Often times, I think women in FLRs become complacent over time.  Similar to a traditional marriage, a FLR can become too routine.  As leaders of the relationship, we need to ensure this does not happen.  We need to stoke the fire a bit every now and blow his mind, if you know what I mean.  This keeps the marriage fun and interesting while also strengthening his obedience to you.

I first dabbled with the idea of FLR some 15 years ago with my husband.  I did not know it at the time, but it was going to be a wonderful journey with a lot of twists and turns and ups and downs.  Somewhere along that journey I became fascinated with the dynamics and psychological aspects of femdom and the submissive mind.  That fascination made me want to learn and learn as much as possible and I had fun trying things out with Thomas.  Lucky him!  Through all this experience and learning, I've develop a pretty good understanding of the submissive mind and how men think and react to various types of control and kink.  In my next few blogs, I will begin to share some of the things I have learned.

-Mz Kaylee

Friday, June 10, 2016

Discover Your Feminine Power

Feminine Power is often described as an energy within women which influences men.  Probably what comes to mind for most people is the image of a beautiful woman walking into a room and all heads turn her way.  You have no doubt seen a blooper video where a guy walks into a wall or rides his bike into a parked car because he is distracted by a woman in a bikini or short skirt.  I a always get a a good laugh when I see this.  It is funny but it is proof of the magnetism that women have to men. Just our bodies alone can disrupt a man's thoughts to the points that he loses his own awareness and common sense.

Men crave women.  They crave to be with us, to impress us and to make us happy. There have been studies on how often a man thinks about sex.  Did you know that men thing about sex on average 1 to 3 times an hour?  That means if you have spent an hour with a man, there is a good chance, a sexual thought about women went through his mind while he was with you  (maybe even a thought about you).   I wonder what all those men are thinking during meetings at work :).

Thomas has pretty much validated this for me.  In fact, with him sexual thoughts are more often since he is teased and denied regularly by me. If you are still in doubt, do a little experiment.  Next time you are in a public place, stand back and quietly observe the men.  When a girl walks by, you will almost always see their heads turn and follow. It does not matter whether he is married, single, young or old; they all react the same way. All the men reading this right now are nodding their heads in agreement,  right? If I point out a pretty girl to Thomas or make a comment to Thomas about a girl in a skimpy outfit, 99% of the time, Thomas has already noticed the girl, even if she is on the opposite side of the room.  It's pretty amazing actually. lol!

My point to all this is that men are wired to crave women and that gives women power.  As a woman, you can get upset by this and be disgusted by a man's behavior or you can understand that it is part of how men are wired.  With this understanding, you can be smart and leverage your feminine power to channel their cravings in a productive way.  Think about a man's cravings as a flowing river with lots of energy.  Left unchecked it does what it wants and can lead to erosion and destruction. However, if you put a damn in place, you can control the flow and energy and use it for productive purposes such as generating electricity.  Ladies, we need to be the damn for our husbands and have their energy flow through us and direct it in a way that benefits the relationship. 

I want to point out that feminine power is more than just sexiness or a physical body.   It encompasses softness, nurturing, vulnerability and love. All of these attributes working together create an energy that has a profound influence on men. A women who needs help (vulnerability) can command the attention of men just as much as the woman who turns heads.  Now think about when you were dating before you got married.  Wasn't your man falling all over you and doing things to please and impress you?  I bet when he first was attracted to you, he gave up valuable time with his guy friends just to be with you.  Did you ever feel like you had him around your finger?  That was your feminine power at work.

If you are married, then you already know that your feminine power has been effective on your husband.  Otherwise, he would have never spent his hard earned money on a ring for you and asked for your hand in marriage. If you are married, it is safe to assume that your husband is attracted to you and sees great qualities in you.  Therefore, you can be confident that your feminine power is strong with him.  Most women do not realize how much power they have over their man.  One reader commented to me that she was so angry at her husband over something that she ordered him to stand nose-to-wall quietly. She was not sure what made her do this and she was surprised that in that moment he obeyed without question. This was before she was even in a FLR!  That is a fantastic example of feminine power at work.  He was compelled to obey her because of her display of authority and because he wanted to please her and not make her any more angry.

A FLR is a great way to get in touch with your feminine power.  As my FLR evolved through trial and error, and with regular talks with my husband, I discovered my inner feminine power.  Ladies, let me tell you, if your husband is submissive, you most likely are underestimating the influence you have over him.  He will do just about anything you want and love it when you turn on the feminine charm.

The FLR journey for me, has made me much more confident and sure of myself.  With my husband I have complete influence over him and know what things make him weak, excited, mad, etc.  Knowing which levers to pull or not pull obviously has great benefits.  This discovery process has also benefited me outside of the marriage.  I am also more confident at work and am very sure of myself in the company of other men and women.  This has made me a more effective communicator in everyday life.  I feel more empowered and respected.

Understanding and embracing your feminine power, not only builds confidence in you, but it also builds a respectful and positive character that is noticed by others.  Below is a link to a beautifully written article on feminine power which I think is worth reading.

-Mz Kaylee

Monday, May 30, 2016

Follow-up - What makes you want to submit

Thank you to all who commented on my last post.  Your comments are a fantastic resource, for both men and women, to understand the FLR dynamic. Many of you commented that the dynamic is not easily understood by outsiders.  I could not agree with you more. It took me many years to understand and there are still fuzzy areas for me.  This is why I encourage all of you to share your experiences as well as what is going on inside your head.  It is not intuitive and not always logical but it is real and  the more people hear about it, the easier it becomes to embrace. I hope more of you share your experiences and feelings.  It does  not matter if it is repetitive with someone else's comments or if you just want to agree with a comment.  The more we see similar comments the more it validates to women the common themes and validates to other men that they are not alone in how they feel.

Some of the things I read from your comments were that you have desires to submit to women and to feel controlled and owned. That you want more strictness and that it makes you happy to make your wife happy and to make life easier for her. Ladies , are you taking notes?  You now have the green light to embrace his submission and be treated like a queen.

I discovered with Thomas that the more strict I am the more he enjoys it. If I get into a mood where I don't want to hear crap from him and I am just spouting out orders, his demeanor changes and he drops into submissive mode.  I have caught him getting an erection as I'm giving out orders. Lol.

Another takeaway from several comments is that although there are things you don't enjoy, you don't mind because it is a small price for the greater good of the relationship. That is fantastic and a characteristic of a strong man. Whether it be a FLR or a traditional marriage, this is the right attitude. So  many marriages fail because sacrifices are not made.

Thank you again for contributing. I can write about these things, but there is no credibility without reaffirmation from your comments so please continue to give your input.

Mz Kaylee