Monday, November 21, 2016

FLR: Fantasy vs. Reality

Is a Female Led Relationship fantasy or reality?  When I first started reading about FLRs and things like orgasm control and punishments, I could not believe that couples actually did those activities as a real part of their life. To me it seemed like fantasy play or that people were exaggerating. It took quite a while before I realized and believed that is was an actual lifestyle that people lived.  Even when I first experimented with orgasm control and female authority with my husband, it was all fantasy for me.  It was a lot of fun but taking it seriously was hard to do or I guess awkward for me. However, the more we played the fantasy the more comfortable I became with controlling him and my expectations for him began to change.  I remember one day coming to the realization that our sex and foreplay had changed dramatically.  I was always taking the lead and our foreplay was much longer and intense.  I would do a lot of teasing of him but then the focus would turn to him pleasuring me. I was always in control of how he pleasured me.  In the beginning we would plan for a fantasy night but just a few months in it evolved to the point where we were naturally falling into the dominant/submissive roles during our intimate moments.

I enjoyed how our sex life had morphed and did not have an interest in going back to the old ways.  That's when it hit me that the fantasy of FLR was not so much fantasy any more.  Of course there is so much more to a FLR than taking control in the bedroom (which I was naive to at the time) but that was one of the defining moments that started me on the path toward a FLR.

FLR is very real. I can attest to that.  I take the lead in our marriage and Thomas willingly submits to me and obeys me. My authority over Thomas is real and if he does not obey or does not meet my expectations, there are consequences for him.  Just read my past posts on this blog and you can see how real it is. It did not happen overnight, but overtime our lifestyle morphed into a FLR.

However, even after all the years of incorporating the FLR lifestyle into my marriage, there is still a lot of fantasy involved. In my opinion, incorporating fantasy play into your relationship keeps spice in the relationship, brings you closer together, helps to reinforce your control over him, and solidifies his own submissiveness.  In our marriage the lines are blurred between fantasy and reality which makes for a lot of fun.  One the best compliments I received from my husband was that he felt as if he was living in a fantasy every day and he loved every moment of it. That was very reassuring to me that I was doing the right things in how I run our FLR.

It is very important to understand that for a FLR to be successful, the Female needs to indulge in the desires and needs of her husband. I cringe when I read advice which indicates that the man's needs or desire do not matter or that the man should be 100% focused on the woman and not care about himself.  This type of thinking makes for great femdom fantasy. In fact, I have used those words with my husband and it drives him wild. However, it just fantasy play.  You can not have a long-term sustainable relationship without taking into consideration his needs and desires. If you ignore this, at some point he will crash and burn and you may find your relationship suddenly in shambles.

If you love your husband, than you most certainly want to make sure his basic needs are met.  I advise to go even a step further and pay attention to his desires. By indulging in his desires, you create loyalty with him and he will be motivated to serve and obey you even more.  There are nights where I slip into a black latex dress and do the whole dominatrix thing with him.  Some nights I will tease his cock over and over again, making him beg for release and then just go to bed. He loves this undivided attention from me.  Denying his orgasm after all the teasing is torturous for him, but he also loves the torture and experiencing my absolute control over him where he wants something so bad but is not allowed to have it. Other times I will turn up my control over him during the week, being more strict with him, ordering him to do extra errands or chores for me, and making him wear items under his clothes such as a cock ring, butt plug, or panties.  These are all things that he loves because they surface deep submissive feelings in him, which gives him an erotic high.

Those things are more fantasy play  Although it is all fun for me, I am doing it more because I know he loves it.  Now let's be clear here, my purpose is not solely to please him.  After all, he is the one who has to please me, Th balance of power in the relationship is titled much more in my favor.  There is an ulterior motive to what I am doing.  If you play into your husband/partner's fantasies and desires, you are making him want you even more.  Anytime I have a session focused on his desires or fantasies, he is always extra thankful afterward and his attention on pleasing and serving me becomes much more focused afterward.  That is the result I am hoping to achieve by catering to his fantasies every now and then.

What I have discovered with guys is that when they have a mind blowing experience it sticks in their mind forever and they often relive it over and over again in their minds. This is the daydream.  What is great about the daydream is that each time they daydream about the experience, it excites and arouses them and they relive the emotions.  Think about that.  If you provide a mind blowing experience with your man, he is going to be thinking about it and you over and over again.  This builds loyalty and devotion to you.  How great is that?  Grown men can recall these type of memorable moments with girls from their teen years.  I was just trading e-mails about this with Jess B. who often posts comments on my blog. We were talking about things our men confessed to us on this topic. What was fascinating to us is that in many of these 'hot' memorable moments, the girl is completely unaware of the effect she had on him.  It could be something she said or joked about, a way she looked at him or simply an outfit she was wearing that gave him a naughty glimpse of her body.  How powerful is that when a man in his 30s, 40s, or 50s can remember the image and emotion of something that occurred when he was as young as 13 or 14? If only I knew that now....the possibilities!  Guys, help me validate this.  Tell me about some of these memorable moments with your wife as well as from your teen years.

My point to all this, is that playing into his desires is a powerful tool for keeping him loyal, dedicated, devoted, and obedient to you.  If you can give him moments that blow his mind and leave him breathless from the excitement, he will be excited to be with you and he is going to want and desire to obey you to keep you happy and hope for more mind blowing experiences.  Let me be clear that I am not saying you should go out of your way every day to do this. That is an extreme and would defeat the dominant dynamic of the FLR.  He should be spending much more time doing things to please you. You have to find the right balance that works for you. I'd say anywhere from once a month to once every two to three months is probably a good balance for most people to create the mind blowing fantasy experience.  You also have to make sure it is in your terms and when you want to do it. You are the one in control, not him and so it is ok to tell him 'no', 'maybe', or you'll have to wait when he is begging about a fantasy.  He should never expect to get what he wants. The fantasy moments are a privilege for him and not a right.

I also want to emphasize the importance of 'spice' in the relationship.  The FLR itself has added a tremendous amount of spice and excitement in my marriage.  It is one of the great things about a FLR.  However, overtime even a FLR can suffer from the hum-drum boredom factor that many couples face in a traditional relationship. Once a couple has routines and expectations established, it is easy for the wife to get caught-up in everyday life and not set aside time for the fun play. I often see this on forums that have a lot of people who are mature in their FLR relationship.  Whenever a new person posts something a bit kinky many of them will discount it or even rebuke the post. When I see these posts, it's almost predicable what the response will be from the long timers.  The long timers are just trying to help but I think people forget what it was like when they first started in a FLR. It really is a shame because the responses often intimidate the person posting.  I also see submissive men who post that they do not need the kink.  O.k.....they don't need it but I am sure if they had it, they would not be turning it away.  In fact, I am pretty sure they wold love it.  These men, unfortunately are just making the best of their situation.  It's like a caterpillar being happy with its life, not knowing that if they turn into a butterfly it will be so much more thrilling.  I'm rambling.  Hopefully I am making sense here to some of you,

Can getting up in everyday life is easy to do. It happens to me quite often. Let's face it - it is nice being served and pampered.  Everyday I have coffee made for me, my clothes are ironed, chores are done, and I get regular massages.  When I tell Thomas to do something, he immediately responds. It is a great lifestyle but I have to make sure I invest some time and energy into him to keep him motivated.  It's like a rechargeable battery.  Every so often the energy-level drops and you have to re-charge for a day and then it lasts for weeks or months, depending on how much energy you are consuming from it.  The more energy you consume, the more frequent you have to recharge.

To sum it all up, I believe the FLR is a mix of fantasy and reality.  By weaving fantasy into the everyday life, it adds spice and fun to the relationship, while also deepening his submissiveness and creating loyalty and devotion to you.  In the end it brings you closer together as couple.  I encourage you all to strive for a relationship where the lines of fantasy and reality blur together.  Life is too short to not have some fun.


Friday, September 16, 2016

Loving Female Authority

The first time I heard the phrase "Loving Female Authority" it resonated with me in a big way.  It is a fantastic way to approach a Female Led Relationship. Loving Female Authority is a clear separation from a common view that a FLR involves an evil and bitchy dominatrix. In a female led marriage, it is crucial that the relationship is filled with love. The wife still exerts dominance and authority but at the core of the relationship is love and caring.

There are women who dominate men with a different perspective than Loving Female Authority.  These women exert control and dominance over men out of hatred for them or because they believe they are superior to men.  They use harsh corporal punishment and treat men like animals.  Many focus on humiliating men and turning men into thoughtless slaves who do nothing but obey.  Believe it or not, these type of women appeal to men.  They appeal to men because they play into the male's fantasy of being dominated.  Being treated as inferior or as an animal or being with no rights is a thrill to many submissive men.  This type of treatment is a fantasy for many men and I have no issue with it when it is done in a safe and consensual manner as part of fun kinky play. However, this type of treatment should not be at the core of the relationship.  Otherwise, the relationship is unfulfilling and can be damaging to the male over time. No good can come from constantly breaking down a man emotionally or beating him harshly.  If you truly love your husband, why would you want to continually hurt and humiliate him? Sadly, many men are lured in by these women because of the appeal to their submissive nature. They are often taken advantage of or find themselves caught in a relationship that is unfulfilling and abusive and by the time they figure out they are being abused it is difficult for them to get out of the relationship.

Unfortunately because this "harsh" type of dominance exists there are mixed messages when you research FLR.  For someone new it can become difficult and intimidating to understand FLR.  My sense is that many women are turned off by FLR because of all the fantasy fodder that exists and the notion that FLR is cruel and evil.  I am here to say that a FLR, when done right, is not evil or filled with hatred and abuse. Again I want to emphasize that fantasy and role playing is fine.  In fact I encourage it because it adds fun and spice to the relationship and is a great way to reward and motivate your husband.  If you truly love your husband and care for him, then it should not be difficult for you to separate the fantasy from the everyday meaningful authority.  A loving FLR is a wonderful thing and brings the couple closer together and forms an even stronger bond between husband and wife.  I know this from my own experience as well as the experiences from many others who have written about this bond.  I have heard from both men and woman and have read many experiences of couples who have all indicated that after their FLR was in place they felt closer as a couple and had a stronger love for each other.

A FLR should be positive and filled with love and caring.  One of the biggest misconceptions of FLR is that a FLR is one-sided; the wife rules without consideration for the husband's needs or desires. This notion is far from true.  In a FLR, the female is a leader, not a dictator or tyrant.  For the relationship to be healthy she absolutely must consider his needs and desires. I will try to explain the difference with an example: like many men, my husband enjoys watching sports and he will regularly meet up with friends to watch games (I'd say this is a pretty common scenario so it makes for a good example).  In the dictator style of femdom, the wife is only concerned about herself and therefore cuts him off completely from watching sports. The husband is forced to submit whether he likes it or not. His opinion does not matter.  My approach in a loving FLR is that I allow my husband to go out with the guys and watch sports but he understands that it is not a right and must seek approval from me each time. He understands that there are times where he will need to skip a night of watching sports because of more important things that need to be done.  Most of the time I give my approval of these activities but not always. I allow this because I recognize that having time for socialization is important to him.  If I took that away from him, I believe it would have a negative impact on him and our relationship.  Hopefully you can see that this approach allows the wife to make decisions that are in the best interest of the relationship while still maintaining her authority and control.

If you've read my past posts you know that I discipline my husband regularly, I also punish him, and in some instances I've exerted strict control over him.  This is where things can get a bit confusing. How does Loving Female Authority fit in to these situations? It is important to understand that my husband is submissive. He craves and needs this strict control.  He thrives in an environment where I am dominant.  A FLR only works if both parties buy-in to the arrangement. You can not force someone to be in a FLR and then expect it all to work out. There are many articles about women who force their men into submission.  This is pure fantasy and I find these articles humorous. The truth is that it is often the husband who is approaching the wife asking her to dominate him because of his submissive desires.  I'm not saying that a wife can not initiate the FLR. It just has to be done in a positive manner and should not be forced on to the husband.

When it comes to my discipline sessions in most instances, they are more focused on positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement.  Discipline is not a bad thing. I use it as a method to motivate Thomas to do better. Thomas even looks forward to our discipline sessions.  The spanking in most cases is playful and more symbolic of my authority over him versus being painful. On occasion it may sting when I want to emphasize a point or when I feel he is not meeting expectations but it is nothing he can't handle.  I have never left a mark on Thomas, just a little redness :) I do not believe in painful spankings or caning. To me this is abuse and can lead to anger and resentment.  If the husband is a masochist and enjoys this type of play then perhaps that is acceptable.  Some men crave or desire this type of spanking so there are exceptions like that where it may be acceptable.  However, a woman beating a man solely because she wants to punish him or prove her dominance over him is not OK.

Punishments are rare and are only issued when warranted. If punishments are regular occurrences in your relationship then you need to re-examine what you are doing and figure out why he is being disobedient so often or if you are punishing for the wrong reasons.  When I issue a punishment it is no surprise to Thomas.  He knows he has been bad and accepts the punishment.  It is important to incorporate punishment into the relationship as this holds the submissive accountable and reinforces the wife's dominance and authority over the husband.  When a husband yields to his wife and accepts her punishment it is proof of his true submissiveness towards her. Thomas has confessed to me that he is glad that I punish him, not because he enjoys the punishment (he does not) but because he wants to be held accountable for his actions and it brings reality that he is submissive to me.  Thomas once told me that my authority over him became very real to him after the first time I punished him. To him, it was a turning point in the relationship where he knew it was not just fantasy and that he was no longer an equal in the marriage.  He was excited about that realization.

There are also many situations where I humiliate Thomas.  I will tease him about wearing panties.  I will order him to lick my ass and tell him that is all he is worth.  These situations are more playful than real.  Again, I am appealing to his fantasies.  He likes a good 'mind fuck' and honestly I have fun doing it to him. There are nights where I just blow his mind and push him into deep submission. These are usually the same nights that I get a little 'high' from being dominant.  On the surface, if I were to describe these nights (and sometimes I do in the blog), they could easily come across as cruel if one does not realize that my dominance is done with love and caring and it is what Thomas craves. The reality is that these are very intimate moments for us. These moments require vulnerability and trust between us. We connect on a deep level.  These moments of trust and vulnerability are part of the fabric that strengthens the relationship and brings us closer together.  I find this hard to explain to people who have never experienced such a situation. Hopefully this is making sense to you.

I felt the need to write this post because on my blog I share personal examples of my dominance and authority that border on the realm of fantasy and appeal to Thomas's submissive nature.  It is important to understand that love and caring is woven into all these situations.


Friday, August 26, 2016

Slave Weekends

In my last post, I discussed Goddess Weekends and introduced the concept of Slave Weekends.  In 
this post I will talk about Slave weekends and then sum it all up.  Enjoy!

Slave Weekends
Slave weekends have a much different tone than Goddess weekends.  The focus is more on him and 
not me.  He is still serving me and doing what I want, but the focus is on his submission and 
obedience to me and my control and authority over him.   I like to think of it as slave boot camp.  My tone and demeanor for the weekend is strict, commanding and authoritarian.  I don't ask him to do 
things, I tell him to do them.  During slave weekends we get a little kinky and cross over into the 
fantasy/role playing world a bit.  Much of what I reinforce with him is real but some of it is fantasy 
and mind games.  

Slave weekends are good for training.  If he is not doing chores properly or behaving in a manner that is meeting my expectations, I can spend time addressing those issues during the weekend. For 
example, once I was not satisfied with how he was putting my clothes away. He was very messy in 
how he folded them or hung them on hangers.  To correct this, I emptied out all my drawers and made him neatly fold and put everything away.  He was naked and I had a paddle in my hand to give him a spank every now and then when he was not neat enough.  I then had him empty his own drawers and refold everything.   This was all done in a strict but playful manner.   Another time I put a collar and 
leash on him.  I walked him around the house like a pet and did a house inspection with him.  I had 
his leash in one hand and a riding crop in the other.  If I liked how things looked, he got a nice pat 
and playful rub.  He received a swat or two for each thing that was out of place in the house and for 
areas that were not properly cleaned.  Let’s just say his ass was a little red by the time we were done.  His cock was hard too so I know he loved it.

On slave weekends, I will purposely be extra strict and demanding.  I will refer to him as slave, 
property, or my toy.  I may tease him about how he gets excited to wear panties and call him a girl, 
princess or slut.   This is all part of the fantasy and is done playfully.  Sometimes he is not allowed to speak all weekend unless I give him permission.  Once I took away his wallet, phone, and keys for 
the weekend so he could get the full effect of being my slave.  For dinner, I might have him kneel 
next to me while I eat and make him eat off a plate on the floor or we could go out for dinner with 
him wearing a butt plug and me doing all the ordering and paying for the check.  Again, this is a lot 
of fantasy play and done for the thrill.  

On slave weekends I will spend a lot of time playing with his cock and bringing him to the edge of 
orgasm.  I want to drive him crazy and turn his mind to mush because that brings out the submissive 
slave in him and sends him into subspace, where I can have lots of fun with him.  It is hypnotic when I stroke his cock and talk to him.  I like to whisper to him how excited I am that he is my slave and is obedient to me.  I love to paint a mental picture for him of his fate....that he will always be my slave 
or toy, or whatever I want him to be.  I will remind him that he will never ever orgasm again without my permission.  I may tease about things that could happen in the future such as never having an 
orgasm again or putting him in chastity or making him stay home 24/7 to be my servant.  This type of talk always drives him wild and pushes him into a deeper submissive state of mind.

I may have him do the body worship routine that I described for the Goddess Weekend but something else that is more fitting for slave weekend is a body inspection.  Instead of him worshiping me, I am 
inspecting him. Being inspected is a thrill for many submissive men.   I will have him stand naked.  
Often time I will even make him remove his wedding ring so that he is completely bare.  Then I 
inspect him like a piece of property.  This is where the fantasy play comes in.  I slowly circle him and trace my hands over his body.  My inspections are positive and not negative.  I will comment on how sexy his body parts are and order him to keep working out at the gym.  I may kiss his body or order 
him to bend over.  I will tell him that he is my property and I own him (he loves those words). I may kick his feet apart to make him stand wider.  I may have him hold his arms out to the side and when 
he starts to waver, order him to keep them up and straight. I will tell him to keep his eyes down and 
then later I will order him to stare straight ahead.  The point to all this is to create the dynamic that I 
am in control of him and he is to obey my every command without question and without hesitation.

I will inspect his balls to ensure they are bare and smooth for me.  If I am not satisfied he will get a 
little swat and be ordered to shave that night. I will tease his cock.  Sometimes I may squeeze out a 
bit of cum onto my fingers and make him lick or suck it off my fingers.  He will get a “good boy” for that.  The first time I read about feeding a man his own cum, I thought it was disgusting.  However, 
one time the mood struck me and I just did it. He was a bit surprised but did not resist. In fact, he 
seemed to get more aroused from it. It was a bit surreal for me and in the heat of the moment it was 
very exciting for me.  It’s hard to explain but I got real turned on from having him lick his own cum 
from my fingers.  It happens quite often now.  I’ve even spoon fed him before.  Very sexy!  
Something that I have discovered through all my reading is that many men actually fantasize about 
being forced to eat their own cum.  Who would have thought that?

During the inspection, I may put a collar on him.  It is fun and powerful to collar your man.  I will 
read the tag on the collar which says “Property of Kaylee.” Ankle and wrist cuffs could be added as 
well. I may make him step into a pair of panties or put a cock ring on him.  There are so many things that can be done.  You could inspect inside his ass with your fingers or a probe, cover his head with a hood (this makes him more like an object), or slip on gloves for the inspection.  You could trace a 
riding crop all over his body and give little slaps here and there.  I like to pinch his nipples hard and 
pull on them.  It feels powerful for me but also gives him a nice burst of pleasure.  Nipple clamps 
could also be used.

As I noted earlier, I like to have him naked for inspections.  However, one of our most memorable 
moments was when I had him dress femme for the inspection.  He put on panties, stockings, garter 
belt, and a bra. It’s very rare that I make his dress up like this (usually I just have him in panties) so 
he was already horned up just from getting ready.  When I inspected him in this state my comments 
were about how sexy his lingerie was.  I commented on how pretty, feminine, and sexy each item was as I traced my hand over the delicate fabrics.  Then I commented on how sexy and pretty he looked in the items…how sexy his legs were in stockings. I teased that if his legs were shaved, he would easily pass as a girl.  Then I hinted that maybe we would have to try that some time.  I probably would 
never make him shave his legs but it is fun to put that thought out there and let it linger in his mind as a possibility.  I did the same teasing about his cock, at how unsightly the bulge is with panties and 
that we would have to take care of that one day, maybe with a chastity device.  His cock was drippy 
so of course I had to wipe it up with my finger and bring it to his lips.  This time he got a “good girl” when he sucked on my finger.  I could not resist doing it a few more times and ordering ‘her’ to lick 
up the cum.

I also commented on how he dressed.  I pulled his panties up and told him that girls wear their panties nice and snug.  I did the same with his stockings and told him that he needed to make sure the seams were straight and the tops of the stockings were even.  I adjusted the garter straps, straightened his 
bra, all while making comments on the proper way for girls to dress.  When everything was straight 
and in order, I told him that’s how a princess should look and in the future I expected him to make 
sure he dressed properly for me.   All during the process, I used terms like princess, pretty, feminine, girl, soft, and sexy. This whole process really did a number on him. He was totally lost in subspace.  He dropped into a quiet, shy and passive mode.  It’s hard to describe but it was a real turn on for both of us.   This was all fantasy fun.  I have no desire to fully feminize Thomas.  It is just fun to role play it once in a while.

Sex during slave weekend is mostly him doing oral on me.  He is way too horned up for me to try 
regular sex. I’d have to stop every few seconds to keep him from cumming. Lol! I tend to be a little 
more aggressive with sex on these weekends.  I may order him to do certain things or physically force his head or hands towards my sexual areas.  I will queen him or have him kneel between my legs and squeeze my thighs around his head.     If I get in real dominant mode, I may push him away forcefully and then order him back between my legs.  Such fun!

Slave weekends are good time to try new kinky things. With all the fun, our inhibitions tend to run a bit freer than usual and so it becomes easier to explore new things and maybe even push limits a bit.  Thomas absolutely loves these weekends because they play right into his submissive fantasies.  I plan the slave weekend and whenever I announce one, his eyes light up with excitement. He is like a little kid.  Sometimes I announce them well in advance just to get him riled up and thinking about it for 
several weeks.  Slave weekends tend to overlap into the week.  It’s almost like we get a little high on 
it and we need a few days to slowly come down.   During the week after I will be a little more 
dominant than typical and Thomas will still be in a deeper submissive state. It is a nice side effect.

We plan Goddess and Slave weekends several times throughout the year. For those of you who are 
younger and have no kids, you may not need to do this because you have the time to spend together.  However, a common problem with couples when they get older and busier with life, is that they 
spend less quality time together. Planning these types of weekends helps keep the relationship fresh, 
exciting, and fun.  From the FLR perspective it helps reset and re-energize the FLR dynamic. Some 
of our best and most memorable moments are from Goddess and Slave weekends. 

I hope this gives you ideas that you can use in your own relationship. I would love to hear if others 
do similar things.

-Mz Kaylee

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Goddess and Slave Weekends

It's been a busy few months for me.  What’s good  is that it is fun things like vacation, weekend
activities with friends and family, and running the kids to different activities.  Being out of the house
is great, but it does interrupt the normal routines.  One of them for me is writing this blog, which I am trying to get back into.  Another interruption is the intimate times with my husband. We have been
having lots of fun together but there has not been as much quiet and intimate time together and I miss that.  Something that we do in our relationship to help ensure that we spend quality time together and not get caught up in the every day life, is to plan Goddess weekends and Slave weekends.  I guess
you could say these are similar to planning date nights (we do that too) but these weekends are much more....intense than a date night.  I will elaborate below.

Goddess Weekends
The focus of these weekends is me because, yes, I am a Goddess.:)   On these weekends my
husband's sole purpose is to pamper me and treat me like a Goddess.  His mind set is of worshiping
me as a Goddess and my mindset is that of a Goddess or Princess who expects to be worshiped,
pampered, and served.  It is quite easy for me to slip into that mind set.:) Examples of things that he will do on Goddess weekends include buying me flowers, giving me a bath, shaving my legs, taking me to get my nails done, massages, brushing my hair, and running errands for me or with me. I've
thought about having him paint my nails or even doing some of my makeup but have not ventured
there yet.  I am not sure if I trust him with that.

Breakfast in bed is another favorite of mine.   In the evening we will usually go out to dinner together or plan some other fun activity with just the two of us. He is basically catering to my every whim (It
is so wonderful!).   On Goddess weekends, I do not spend much time at all teasing him unless I am in the mood.  An orgasm for him is not even a thought, although on a rare occasion it might happen.
However, he will spend a lot of time pleasuring me and giving me orgasms.

Something fun that I have him do every once in awhile is a body worship ritual.  He will be naked or in panties.  I dress in a short night gown or comfortable lingerie. He will start kneeling at my feet and I will order him to worship my foot.  He will kiss it and say "I love you," kiss it again and say "I
worship you," kiss it again and say "I obey you."  Then I will point to the other foot and he will
repeat this ritual.  I will have him do this all over my body.  I will adjust my night gown as needed to give him access to my body.  I may end up naked but I do find it fun and sexy to uncover and
recover my body parts with the night gown as he worships me.   He will kiss and repeat the words for the front and back of my legs, thighs, pussy, back, shoulders, ass cheeks, in between my ass cheeks,
and neck.  It’s also fun to make him worship my armpits.   About half way through I will change the words and make him say in between kisses "Your are my Goddess," "I am your slave," "I obey you."  It is a lot of fun when you get into it.  I will make sure he is hard the whole time, which does not take much encouragement at all.  If his cock/balls are within reach, I may hold them firmly while he
performs his worship and I will reaffirm his worship by saying things like "yes," "that's right," or
"good boy."  I may make him worship my ass several times, telling him how I know a slave like him
loves worshiping my Goddess ass.  I may order him to lick at times instead of kiss. We could easily
spend a 1/2 hour on this body ritual.  It is a lot of fun for both of us.

Goddess weekends are planned in advance.  Ideally it is a weekend where we have nothing else
planned.  However, with our busy schedules ,that may not be possible and so there are many times
where we work it around activities and events (which sometimes can add an element of fun). Our
kids are older so we are lucky enough that we can leave them alone and go out for a few hours. I let
him do all the planning for the weekend. Being the leader in the relationship does not mean you have to plan everything.  This is a time where I can sit back and just enjoy.  I do require him to write up his plans for the weekend in advance for my review.  I like to review it at least a day in advance while he is massaging my feet or kneeling before me.  Then I can give him my input or changes.  He is good at planning so most of the time I accept what he submits.  If there is a specific errand I need done, I will write it in.  I will also give direction on what he is to wear for the weekend - usually panties that
match mine and I may require him to wear a cock ring.  I've also tied a pretty pink ribbon around the base of his cock to remind him of his obedience to me.  The plan is always subject to change by me.  As the weekend progresses I may decide  to do something different and he just goes with it.

Goddess weekends are fun for both of us.  One may think that I am the one who gets all the benefit. It certainly is wonderful to be treated like a Goddess or Princess.  It is one of the best perks of being the leader in the relationship. I will not argue that.  However, there is also a thrill in it for the husband.
The submissive man is excited to serve his wife this way. To server her and treat her like a Goddess,
and be viewed as her servant, is a huge thrill for most submissive men. Trust me, they will love it.  I
know Thomas looks forward to these weekends.  When you think about it, the Goddess weekend
plays into the natural dynamics of the relationship between men and women.  It is not much different than when a man is courting a woman.  He will treat her like a queen and do everything possible to
impress her and win her over.  This happens all the time during dating and early in a relationship. 
Unfortunately for most people, as the relationship continues, the need to impress goes away and there are no more flowers, and less and less spontaneous activities to keep the relationship fresh.  I find that Goddess weekends help bring back that excitement and fun that you experience during dating.

Slave weekends are much different than Goddess weekends.  There is a whole different focus and
tone. I will write about slave weekends in my next blog.

-Mz Kaylee

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Been Away and Annonymous Posting

I have been away for a few weeks and it has taken me awhile to get caught up with things at home and get back to posting.  I hope to have a new post up soon. I am glad to see there were comments and conversation on the posts while I was away. Sometimes, the best information comes from the discussion in the comments and not within the posts themselves. I appreciate the few people who nudged me to post more. I may need that every now and then.

I have a request for those posting comments - please end your comment with a name or initials.  I understand the reasons to post anonymous and have no issue with it.  The name you give does not have to be real so you can still be anonymous.  Having a name, helps with the continuity of the conversation.  It helps me understand if several comments are from the same person or is it all different people.  It also helps to understand if the person is male or female. By understanding these things, I can write more meaningful responses.


Monday, July 4, 2016

Petting The Dog

So I am going to have al little fun with this post.  I was corresponding with someone about how we love to tease our guys and how they love it to.  Through the discussion it occurred to me that teasing a man is a lot like petting a dog.  Think about a dog.  When you pet a dog, he is your best friend.  His tail wags, he sits by your side and is happy.  I swear my dog gets this look on his face like "oh yeah...that's good." There is nothing the dog cares about at that moment other than enjoying you petting him. Have you ever been to someone's house where you pet the dog and now the dog won't leave you alone.  He will sit by your side as long as you pet him and if you stop petting him, he will look at you like, "I want more," and nudge you with his nose.  If the dog knows you are someone that always pets him, he is going to come back for more and more.

Now translate that to teasing your man.  When I am stroking Thomas's cock he is still and focused on nothing but the pleasure I am giving him.  He could lay or stand by me all day while I stroke him. If I do a long steady tease with him, it actually relaxes him and is even hypnotic.  If he had a tail, it would be wagging.  He always wants more.  When I stop and tell him to put it away, he gets this look of disappointment. Often times he even begs me for more.  Such a cute doggie! Since I tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a minute or two, he is always on the lookout for a little tease.  Sometimes I can tell he is hanging around me in hopes to get a little rub.  If I do bite and give him a rub, he gets this wonderful look of satisfaction on his face.  Like that little joy you get when biting into a delicious piece of chocolate.

And just like a dog, Thomas is so obedient for me.  After a little rubbing, I could give him an order and he will follow.  "Sit," "roll-over." Ha!-Ha!! No, it's more like "Run to the store and pick up milk," or "My car needs to be washed." He will run off happily and obey.

-Mz Kaylee

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Hmmmm - How Big Is It (Written by Mary)

I am thrilled to have this post from a guest author, Mary.  It has always been my vision to have others contribute to this blog so that you as the readers get a great mix of topics and viewpoints.  Mary has stumbled across a fun "little thing" that hits a submissive chord within her husband.  It's great when you can uncover these things about your partner because it adds fun and excitement to the relationship.  Knowing how to push his submissive buttons also strengthens your authority over him and trust me..submissive men love to have these buttons pushed.  A big thanks to Mary for contributing. Enjoy...  

Hmmmm - How Big Is It
I have to confess - I feel I literally stumbled across the the topic of "penis size" as it relates to female dominant or female led marriages/relationships.  I am no expert and what I relate here is only my experience.  It may or may not relate to what others have run into.  I have not thought this all the way all.  I thought that I could write enough to provide stimulus for
the thoughts and wisdom of others. I hope I don't offend.
First let me say that my own interest in this "little issue" ultimately relates to connection.  For me that is my main interest in being in and exploring female led marriage.  My sense is that it can offer an incredibly deep and special connection that can sometimes wane in long term relations.  To me good relations include "vulnerability" and I expect this "little issue" certainly relates to that.

First an "intro" - I expect there is hardly a sole alive who has not considered the topic of "penis size" - some care more, some care less but I think it does run across most persons minds at some point.  Certainly the ladies but maybe even more so - guys, some who have confessed to me that they thought about it very early on in life.

Even before I began to explore a female led marriage more explicitly I was no doubt a bit of a tease and pretty dominant with guys - even before marriage.  That is just how I always was.  I sort of liked to "use my feminine power" I guess.  I think it was in this context I came across the issue of "small penis teasing".  In truth my husband is not the "most endowed fellow on the planet"  (just saying) and in my naturally flirty manner I guess I pointed this out - um, more than once.  

The first couple of times it was sort of "innocent" (well...sort of).  I recall one of the very first times seeing his penis and saying "Awwww, it's so sweet".  I think at the time it was more of a natural response and I was not fully realizing that a man would prefer to hear "Oh wow, honey, aren't you huge"!  I was having for me a natural response and the word "sweet" just came to mind and lips.  However I quickly noticed I got something of a "quiet response" - really a totally quiet and submissive sort of "non response".  Not until the second or third time did I really realize that he had a "reaction" and a very powerful one to being teased in this way.

I  bounced around the internet and found some things on the subject of "male endowment".  Some of it was silly and pornographic but a few other things were of interest.  I began to experiment more.  Some of this was not nearly as "pre-meditative" as it sounds - more just me being a bit, well teasing.  Once at a dinner my husband (then fiance) was "asserting" his opinion on something (it was what movie to see) a bit more than I would like.  I softly said to him in a sort of "teacher tone" -
"Are we forgetting how big we are not"?  He knew exactly what I was referring to and got a lovely "quiet" to him.  That time I clearly saw it.  I let it sink in a moment and then said "That's much better".  

I have found other ways to tease him on this.  I think it is a mixture of excitement (after all his wife is talking about his penis which he loves) but also a sort of anxious tension in that I am pointing out who (no he) is in charge.  It has increasingly become somewhat of a game for me.  I know he feels way vulnerable and very, very submissive when I bring this up.  He is submissive so I think in a sense he likes to feel these feelings.  The other day I fondled him somewhat out of the blue (something I do from time to time) and said "Oh, sweetheart, you feel especially small today".  I don't know what the trigger is but not much later he was virtually begging to be allowed to give me oral sex.  Maybe it is the submissive mans desire to please?  I wonder if when I indicate one "part" of him is not so manly his drive to be "of service" in other areas goes through the roof.  I don't understand it but my experience is real.

Recently I have been "on the hunt" for new ways to tease him around this.  Sometimes he tries to "play it off" like he does not notice it or does not have a reaction.  But the other day he (weakly) asked "You would not tell any of your girlfriends about it would you"?  I think he is torn - I think he is terrified of that but I also think there is some part of him that almost wants me to tell one of my girls!   I have even looked at actors on TV and wondered (out loud) "Honey how much bigger do you think he is than you......if you were just guessing"?
Now that I have found this "button" I am on the hunt for additional manners of teasing him.  I find it draws us close. I cannot explain that entirely.  I really cannot.  It seems to give him a sort of "freeze response".  All of a sudden he is "under me", quiet, submissive.  Though he can be dominant out in the World I truly do not believe it is how he naturally can be with me.  There is something in this endowment business that speaks to that.  Not sure was all super endowed and dominant but then our relationship would not be as it is if that were so!  

I'd love to hear thoughts on this.  Hoping I don't get judged too harshly.