Gigi recently posed the question of what makes a FLR real and not just a game to spice up the marriage; how do you keep it from being vanilla?
There are many relationships where the wife is naturally the head of the household. How many times have you heard someone say, 'Well I know who wears the pants in that relationship"? Although the woman is in the lead, it is still a vanilla relationship. When I write about FLR, I am not referring to these types of relationships. I envision the FLR as a formal structured approach to the relationship where the wife has clear lines of authority, dominance, and control over the husband. I think that is the main point that Ggi is getting to in her question. Before I share my thoughts on this I would like to hear from all of you. Please share your real experiences with this and what are the things that make it real for you and different than a typical relationship? What areas clearly show her dominance over you? I also want to add the question of why is this important for you?
I still feel quite new to FLR, though, as your post indicates I think I was one of those women who was always incharge. What has made it feel more than me just...ultimately, directing things, is (I think) the formalization of some things. While there is some "gaming" what makes it real for me (and I think him) is that I have a kind of ownership over him. There are quite a number of things that he must do for me - not negotiables. I see some - what you call "vanilla" relationships where surely the woman directs but there appears to be more struggle for the couple. There are many examples of this but for me household chores are the biggest example. It is also one part that goes into lifestyle - versus fantasy. I literally do very, very, very little housework. It is his. Laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc. etc. When Saturday comes - there is usually a scenario of what am I going to do to relax and enjoy myself - a tennis game, shopping, a brunch with a girlfriend. On that same Saturday my husbands question is - how perfectly can he accomplish my (usually long) "to do" list. I tend not to use the word "slave" (not sure why) but there is a "puppy like quality" to this. He truly wants to make me pleased with him and truly does not want me angry. He knows if I come home to jobs well done I am happy and he may get a pat on the head and a bit of a rub below the belt (maybe). If I am not pleased with what I see - then there are less comfortable consequences - I don't see those as hurtful but as more teaching training, learning. While this dymanic works incredbily well for me the suprise is how much he relishes me being in charge. In short I think these dynamics are in many relationships but in FLR (or at least mine) it seems like it is accepted and "on the table".
ReplyDeleteFantastic Jess. The use of those little rewards certainly add flavor to the relationship that is not in a typical marriage
DeleteYes, well said. Don’t forget to have him clean under the stove and refrigerator once a year. Also. The dryer will collect lint inside the motor works area creating a fire hazard. Have it cleaned immediately. Shut off the power to the dryer, pull it away from the wall, remove the inspection panel, and vacuum out the lint. Check the exhaust hoses for a build up of lint also. Now check with your fire insurance company if you can get a discount because you have done this.
DeleteMy wife and I have been a a FLR for six years now.When we started we did make a formal agreement that she would be the leader in our marriage. She decided that I would do all the housework as well as most yard work. She will pitch in if I have to work late.I love seeing her relaxing while I'm doing laundry or cleaning it's the best time of the day for me.My wife is a natural leader and this type of relationship seems so natural for us as I am a very passive person. We both agreed that we could never go back to the the it was before.
ReplyDeleteDR, what were some of the things that made it a "formal agreement"?
DeleteWe both agreed that that she would make all final decisions of course she would sometimes ask for my opinion but hers would be final. She also manages the financial accounts and I do receive a bi weekly allowance.I keep my own personal note pad and keep track myself of all the accomplishments we had made with her leading are marriage and I only wish we would have decided a FLR earlier in are marriage. She of course manages are sex life as well. I guess we call it formal because we celebrate are FLR anniversary on August 18 each year when we made the commitment. R R
DeleteFantastic. Happy Anniversary to you!
DeleteI think you should have her check your letters and replies to a blog also as some women do, sir. In your haste you mixed are with our. Easy to do.
DeleteCongratulations to you and your wife. I do love a happy beginning.
DeleteWe are only 2 years into our FLR and after 30 years of being not very happily married we are now closer and more in love than ever. We are evolving but in no way does it feel like a temporary situation to me. I think my wife might feel that there is still some unreality to it all. All those years of fighting for control are now replaced by my surrender. But I think she would also say she's happier then ever in our marriage and is getting used to the idea of her dominance. She is not a naturally bossy person such as Jessica B, Gigi or you Mz Kaylee. But she's embracing her evolving 'bossiness' such that I can see changes each week. She still asks more than tells but that too is changing. We do have a formal agreement though not in writing. But verbally each morning when I make and bring her coffee in bed I get down on my knees and affirm our dynamic. I promise to love and obey, I verbalized her dominance and my submission and end by saying she has the final say in all decisions. And I walk the walk of chastity (an orgasm every 3 weeks or so), obedience and recently over the knee weekly discipline. It is not 'vanilla' and it is real. And because I asked for the change and we're so happy now, it's on me to be on best behavior. I do all the laundry and most of the cleaning. She likes cooking but I'm her willing assistant. She doesn't like finance and so I manage that but I do ask her approval for purchases over $100 and she does review the bills before I pay them. So FLR for us is the main course and not just the spice. I do wish for more spice at times but patience may yet add more flavor (I hope)! FLR is happy reality for us, not just an add on to an old style vanilla relationship. Again thanks to Mz Kaylee and the other intelligent blog writers and commenters who share advice and experience. Without you we'd still be in the dark.
ReplyDeleteMarc,
DeleteIt sounds like you made a great decision..and after so many years! What made you want to change? Thanks for sharing your real life experience with us. This type of sharing sends a powerful message to those contemplating FLR
What made me want to change? Actually I couldn't change myself, I've always wanted to be with a dominant female from maybe age 12. When it was time for sexual relations, being on the bottom was by far my preferred position which of course was not the societal norm. When I was in school and went to a seminar on sexuality, I asked the instructor afterward about what I could do about this out-of-the-mainstream way of being. His advice-accept yourself as who you are. But what about in a marital relationship? FLR was not even in the vocabulary of those times. I was already married and obviously we liked a lot of things about each other but I was in a role that didn't fit and we had a lot of petty and beyond petty arguments which really bothered me. I had never heard of an FLR until I bumped into informative sites on line. Through them I found that although I couldn't change me, I might be able to change how my wife and I relate to each other. I benefitted greatly from the following sites: conquerhim.com; cair4.com; Mark Redmond's blog and book; RWDDH blog and the book by Fumika Misato; and this evolved into following the blogs of her 'disciples' including, of course, yours; FLR101 and so on. I learned so much from all of this plus from those who commented. Eventually I summoned the courage to ask my wife to be dominant in our relationship. She accepted (with some trepidation) and I began the process of wooing my wife with my submission. I print articles from Femdomthinktank for her and continue to learn. This process is ongoing for both of us and I feel optimistic that we will evolve and be even better together.
DeleteGood for you. I would like to hear your wife’s side of the story someday. What her reactions were then and what she thinks now. (Ask her please) do an interview for the Think Tank.
DeleteMz Kaylee? As a general rule wouldn’t their relationship take a further step forward into a FLR by creating a formal declaration of intent and lifestyle? Deepening the feelings?
Hello Mz Kaylee.
ReplyDeleteAn older women that I was deeply attracted to in my youth once said” Power is never given or acquired it is taken “ . I am not sure I really understood the meaning at that time but I have found over the years that this is what is often missing in most FLR’s. Being dominant and powerful is just not something that most women desire or ever consider. The husband usually expresses his desire for submission and after a time his wife may see the benefits and move forward to satisfy his desires. The whole relationship tends to be built on a foundation of his submission with very little power or dominance required.
It is rare in life that a man actually comes face to face with a woman who will impose her will or challenge him in a bold way. Now I know in a FLR the whole dynamic is based on his willingness to submit but I believe her dominance starts to become real when the daily workings of the relationship begin to move away from his fantasies to her actual desires . It has been my experience that women tend to remain very timid even as the change begins to occur simply because they are not comfortable with the idea of being in control . Her dominance becomes real if she actually embraces the power , boldly rejects the 50/50 concept of a traditional marriage and asserts her authority in the relationship to enhance her life.
I have never experienced submission to a woman who was willing to “ take” control. My wife is very much in the timid phase and may always remain there. She enjoys many of the benefits of our FLR but is still torn between her natural desire to be in control and the role of a traditional wife.
Our marriage is not really much different than a typical relationship. I do most of the heavy house work as well as maintaining the yard , house and cars. She has a little more free time than most women but rarely ventures out to enjoy her freedom. The one area that she very naturally asserts her dominance is by boldly asserting her freedom to enjoy the attention of other men while insisting that my attention remain complexly on her. She is very possessive and is not happy if I find another woman attractive but is very open in her appreciation of other men. Focusing only on her is very natural and not at all difficult. However ,her asserting her freedom to appreciate and enjoy the attention of other men is very bold , clearly demonstrates her dominance and requires a level of submission far beyond my comfort zone. I feel a lot of emotion that includes fear, hurt and anger when she shares one of her flirtatious encounters but overall I am excited by her assertion of power and my emotions quickly fade into submission. Strangely this is important to me because it is a very raw and natural act of dominance that is never play acting and absolutely requires my real submission.
John
John,
DeleteYou are right that many women are uncomfortable with taking control. However, with the right support and encouragement over time these women can build confidence and begin to assert more dominance. It can take several years so your wife may get there. It took me many years but I eventually got there.
I also know that submissive men are rarely ever completely satisfied with the level of dominance in the relationship. It is an addiction that always needs more. That's just something that men need to deal with.
Your comments are always well thought out. Thank you for sharing your experiences with your wife.
Ms Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteIt is an interesting question, especially considering I find with wife (who IS) my undisputed owner. We have taken a while to get to the stage where it is clear that she decides. In all things she has final say, while ofter I am asked or encouraged to offer input, it is just that input.
However two things truly do differentiate, things that I would say clearly delineate situation in a FLM. One is control of the other submissive partner orgasms. Whether this is though a device, or simply through obedience. This control affects me 24/7 and it as it were both a rule, but also offering. I give my pleasure and control of it to my wife/owner. The second area in which things truly start to get "real" is financial control. My wife doesn't work, she is a stay at mom. She runs the household incredibly well. Which by the way (should be the highest paying job in the world). My pay goes delineate into and account that only she sees. I have no idea how much money we have, except things are paid for, and that is all I need to know. Each week I am given twenty dollars, when I have served well. Many other dynamics exists, which are also different the perhaps a standard couple. But now that I am used to life as her slave, I would say these two things took the longest to get used to. But they have also had huge impact on the way I live.
Two great examples. In my opinion, orgasm control is a must!
DeleteMy husband and I have been in a FLR for quite a number of years, frankly I lost count but probably around 15 or more. A method I have found helpful in continually growing our relationship is what I call "I wish" days. It goes like this . . . We practice semen retention so my husband is rarely treated to orgasms. They just don't prove to be beneficial to me. When we are intimate and I find myself fully satisfied I will distract my hormone infused husband with a task. I will hand him his iPad and direct him to send me an email detailing what a perfect days looks like to him. A "I Wish" day. He will then use his dopamine infused mind to tell me those things he would like to see in our relationship. Trust me, with his hormones raging he is very explicit and his suggestions do not have the usual filter of "what am I getting myself into?" He just says it like he fells . . . at that moment. Of course, later he may regret it but at that point it is too late. I feel this gives me an insight into what drives his desires and if I can use those to benefit my life, why not? My my what boundaries we have pushed with this!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea! Very ingenious to do it after you are satisfied and while he is high on arousal. You get the benefit of him leaving you alone while also getting insight into his deepest desires. It's brilliant! I am sure you have gotten some crazy thoughts from him.
DeleteHave you saved them? I wonder if they might be useful as a teaching tool. Just a passing thought.
DeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more and felt a kind of relief at hearing that just because a Woman wears the pants in her relationship that isn't enough for it to be called a Femdom relationship. I think a CORE issue is that in order to be a Femdom relationship it has to be acknowledged as a Femdom relationship. No such thing as "covert" Femdom. That would just be nagging or abuse.
I also think there are a few very important components:
1) The Woman's authority - it can't just be like she has authority over some things but the man has authority over others. Whereas there are levels of how authoritative a Woman can be or how deeply Femdom a relationship can be, Her authority can't be negotiated in exchange for something else because it's not a negotiation, it's just her given right for being the Woman in a Femdom relationship!
2) Inequality -- VERY IMPORTANT! If it's Femdom it's not equal! The Woman is at a Superior position and her man at an inferior position to her and if it's not that way it isn't Femdom!
3) While this isn't a must, I think it's a very good component. The Woman may, will and should sometimes punish the man. Hopefully she also owns a whip and uses it from time to time. She can also discipline. To discipline is to, for example, whip him to exercise your position of authority or just for fun. To punish is to do so because he disobeyed or displeased you.
What are your thoughts?
Or just because it’s Thursday? Some jerk on the road pissed her off! Someone took her parking spot. Her boss was a jerk. A coworker was a jerk. How about no particular reason other then she wants to? I loved what was said about taking power. Needs to be a FLR affirmation. Good article.
DeleteGigi,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your thought proceess. #1 & #2 are key components of a FLR. These may change as the FLR evolves. For example a woman's authority tends to start small in a new FLR and then grow and become more encompassing over time. Whatever level of authority she chooses to wield must be accepted by the sub. Likewise inequality is a part of FLR and it tends to increase over time. In the early years we were at a 60/40 split. Now I'd say it is 70/30 for us.
I also agree with you that punishment is a highly recommended component of FLR. When done right it has a very positive effect on the relationship.
Thanks for these wonderful insights.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI think whereas obviously a sub can and should be awarded some level of permissiveness (you can't have him be a total robot slave) that is not the same to say that your relationship with him can be 70/30% and be Femdom. I don't think there is any room for the sub's 30%. 30% of what? Of not being your sub? Of being defiant of your authority? Of being equal?
Sorry, but no. In my opinion Femdom requires 100% Female Superiority which means 100% inequality. A man is never equal to a Woman. Anything else, in my opinion, is not Femdom. A dog, which is very much loved, cared for and really even treasured, is never equal to a human. It can be a very smart dog and a retarded human, even stupider than the dog. But the human is a human.
Not too different from that, although males are humans, they are not equal to Females. Even stupid Females and even smart males aren't equal. Even ugly Females and handsome boys. It's just a biological fact that Females are the superior, life bearing, vagina having sex which means they are superior lifeforms (no offense to any males reading this, it's a beautiful fact of life they should learn to embrace and even love). Take it or fight it, it's still nature. And you don't even have to agree with me, but if you want a Femdom relationship that's just the basic tenet of it.
That's my opinion.
And yes, vaginas are a much superior organ than the male genitals. Which brings me to another topic, that of cunnilingus. Cunnilingus is a marital obligation in a sane marriage of a submissive man towards his Dominant and Superior Wife, who has the right to demand it of her obedient spouse and in my opinion, ought to.
Thanks for listening, please comment.
Gigi - I agree about the 100% inequality in a FLR. There is no partial inequality. The split is more about how much freedom I am allowing my husband. I do not want to to dictate 100% of everything he does because it would be way too much work for me and as you say, I do not want a robot. I did not state the clearly in my previous comment and I am glad you questioned it. Does the way I explained the split makes sense to you?
DeleteRegarding the biological superiority of women over men, I respectfully disagree with you and this is an opinion and not factual. In some areas women are superior biologically and in some areas men are superior biologically. Both need each other to survive so I don't think you can say any one is superior over the other. It really is a matter of opinion. What I do agree with is that in a FLR the women takes a superior role and in doing so it strengthens the marriage and brings the couple closer together and therefore, having the woman in a superior role is a great thing.
I keep looking for the Facebook like symbols. Two thumbs up.
DeleteHello Mz Kaylee -- My wife and I have enjoyed reading your blog and all the responses. We agree with just about all that has been said and we have incorporated much of it into our 4 year old FLR. As the submissive husband I do about 1-2 hours of housework every day -- clean the kitchen, prepare meals (unless she decides she want to do that), clean 3 bathrooms, etc and my chore list continues to grow. We practice limiting my orgasms to about one per month, though hers have grown quite a bit in number since beginning our journey. I am also regularly disciplined - for misbehavior and also as a training tool. I have spent plenty of time in our bedroom corner contemplating how to become a better husband and slave for my wife. I also am on the receiving end of her paddle regularly.
ReplyDeleteWe have also incorporated some rituals or protocols in our life to help reinforce her superiority and my submission to her. First, we have a greeting ritual where when I leave or return home from work or where ever I get on my knees in front of my wife and kiss both her feet. After kissing I put my forehead to the floor in submission. We chat for a few minutes and then she gives me permission to rise where I kiss her on the lips. Another ritual involves the recliner chair in our family room. It used to be my easy chair. Now I am not permitted to sit in the chair without her permission. It is now her chair exclusively. When we watch TV together she sits in the chair and I sit on the floor at her feet. At that position I am able to massage her feet and legs and we watch TV. She regularly sends me out of the room to fetch things for her as well. A third ritual is that about once a week my wife "brands" me on my left butt cheek in order to symbolize her ownership of me. Her brand is a circle with her first initial inside the circle. She sometimes will also include a small version of my initial and put it at the bottom of the circle. I love wearing my wife's brand as it is a constant reminder of both of our positions in our family.
In over 25 years of marriage, my wife and I both agree that we are as happy as we have ever been and thoroughly in love with one another. Thank you for your blog.
vic
Vic,
DeleteI am glad your FLR is going great and you both are very happy. I hope those contemplating a FLR read your comments as well as the other comments here because they are testament of the strength and benefit of a FLR. I enjoyed reading about your rituals. I believe rituals are fantastic way to keep the husband focused on pleasing and obeying the wife, while also pushing him deeper into submission. Rituals, when done regularly, have a strong mental effect on the mind. Overtime rituals change the mindset of the husband to be more dedicated and loyal to his wife, which elevates her power and authority over him. I find that very exciting. Do you feel these rituals have impacted you in the way I describe?
Hi Mz Kaylee
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would like to thank you for your fantastic blog and sharing your experience in living in a real-life FLR relationship. Your blog together with Rika's book Uniquely Rika have influenced my FLR relationship the most.
We have now lived and briefed FLR the past two years. I have been together with my wonderful wife 15+ years and used to be the dominant partner. That didn't work out that well. We had a lot of fights and the intimacy was missing.
My wife has become very assertive and dominant. Her lovely dominance shows, for instance, in the following ways.
I prepare the coffee and a glass of water every evening for her. Each morning I will go down on my knees and express my gratitude of being allowed to serve her and her being my dominant willing to train me a humble sub.
She practices orgasm control. We started some twice a week for me, going to once a week and now we are somewhere between one to four weeks schedule. Always completely random. And she gets a lot more orgasms.
I have also handed all the credit cards and account passwords to her and will get 100€/month as allowance. If I needed more, I would need to go her and ask.
I do much more domestic work than before. I clean the toilets, kitchen, take rubbish out etc. In the future I will also be ironing her clothes.
I also work for her doing research on where to have our vacation etc.
My lovely wife also has sexual freedom if she so wish. She hasn't so far used this option. She is in control of everything in our little world.
Like Vic's family; my wife now takes exclusively the best seat in our living room and I will quite often massage her feet.
A ritual that we both like a lot is that in the evening as she prepares to go to bed; I again bend the knee and help her to undress and thank her for being strict with me.
A month ago or so my lovely Wife took a tattoo on her ankle where there is a large artistic key (my initial inside it). She is also contemplating marking her property with a slave heart lock.
Hello Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your FLR experiences openly. Your blog together with Ms Rika's book "Uniquely Rika" have been the greatest influence in my FLR marriage.
I have been with my wife 15+ years and used to be the dominant partner. We got married some two years ago and made a formal switch then. I promised to love and obey my wife. Currently my wife controls pretty much every food group.
She is in full control of our sex life. I used to get a release twice a week, then weekly and now we occasionally go even a month. She orgasms perhaps two or three times per week.
She controls finances and I am on 100€/month allowance.
We practice a few rituals that we both like. I go on my knees every morning and express my wish to serve her as her sub and thank her for being a strict Domme for me. In the evenings as she goes to bed I oftentimes help her undress and thank her for the day. Whenever she comes to home; I will be there standing and waiting for her to take her coat off etc.
I do domestic duties that she doesn't like. I clean the kitchen, prepare the coffee, clean bathrooms weekly and in the future will be doing all the ironing of her clothes.
She now exclusively sits in the corner of our TV sofa. That used to be my place. So similarities to vic's story. I oftentimes get a chance to massage her lovely feet.
She has grown to be very comfortable her leading and me following. I prefer eating her pussy to my own orgasms.
Recently she took a lovely anklet tattoo inside which there is my initial. Everytime I see that brings tons of submissive feelings to my mind. She is also considering marking me as her property; one option being having me take a slave heart lock anklet with a matching style.
She has also sexual freedom that I need to submit. She is not planning to use it but occasionally keeps me at my toes to remind that she has no restrictions.
I also get a weekly maintenance spanking that helps me to remain submissive.
Going forward; may be the most difficult thing to tackle is going to be my orgasm frequency. She doesn't have anything against giving me pleasure but at the same time she wants me to be fully submissive at all times.
We have never been closer and it is very hard to vision a future where our relationship would be anything but 24/7 D/s FLR. It works very well for us. Her self-esteem and self-worth have propelled through the roof since we started; and she now considers herself as independent and dominant Lady.
We don't publicly announce how we relate to each other but at the same time we don't make a big or any effort to hide our dynamics.
Mz Kaylee - thank you again for your valuable insights in this one-of-the-kind blog. I hope you will continue to keep it going.
Best,
Mika
Wow! So many great things going on in your marriage. I hope you continue to share your experiences on this blog and comment on other posts. I think others can learn from you. Since your wife got a tattoo, my vote is for your wife to mark you :) A matching style tattoo is a fantastic idea. The rituals you have in place are great. I just commented about rituals in Vic's post above so please read that comment.
DeleteMz Kaylee - do you have sexual freedom in your relationship?
DeleteDo you in general feel that in loving FLR whether Lady wants to have sexual freedom (whether to use or not) it is her sole right to define boundaries ....
Mike
Debbie has sexual freedom in our marriage. It's something she decided to do, largely at first, but due to my short falls in the bed room. Debbie cuckolds me and I accept it whole hardheartedly. Cuckolding takes female control in a marriage to an entirely different and exciting level. Her exercising her sexual freedom is done with my complete knowledge NOT with my approval.
DeleteWhat do you mean by sexual freedom?
ReplyDeleteHi Mz Kaylee
DeleteI mean by sexual freedom that the dominant wife can take other lovers if She so wishes.
I hope this explains.
Mike
Ok. Got it. I have authority over Thomas so I have freedom to do whatever I want including sexual freedom. However I choose not to exercise it. Women in FLR certainly have the right to establish these boundaries but they must deal with the consequences as well. Sexual freedom is not to be taken lightly. It should never be done without first discussing with the husband. If the husband is not agreeable to it then I think it would be foolish for her to exercise that right.
DeleteSo, I think I agree with you in most things but think there is at least some truth in Female Biological Superiority. I also think most people are scared of even thinking that rightfully because superiority movements and philosophies of many kinds have been abused or totally created in a way that has done harm to so many people but that doesn't have to be the case. Being superior doesn't mean hating, abusing or even being a snob towards inferiors. Superior is a complimentary roll to inferior, one that loves and cares in Her position for the other, who pleases, obeys, follows and receives love only to give it back stronger in an upward spiraling loop. Superior Females are lifeforms that nurture, create, carry and take care of life. In my philosophy Females are more valuable biologically but all are loved endlessly and the Superior value of Females gives us the right and indeed due of loving stronger. It is a love and growth philosophy. In which Females rule with love, in which Females are superior and that comes with the responsibility to nurture, care, and yes, also spank more. But also kiss more passionately afterwards and more excitedly before.
ReplyDeleteHello Gigi . I generally agree with you about the superiority of the the female but I do think we all need to acknowledge that not all females live up to their abilities and most squander their lives always because they never look in the mirror and see the woman they could be . Yes, I know this is true with most men as well but a strong female can apply the guidance and direction to the men in her life and insist that they improve and become the man of her making.However, a woman must have vision see herself as superior and be willing to apply the effort to live a life that Is woththy of the respect she desires. I am not sure all that makes sense but it would be very hard for me to submit to a woman that I did not respect just because she is a female.
DeleteRegards , John
John
Dear Mz Kaylee
ReplyDeleteI apologize for my delay in responding to you. Yes the rituals my wife and I have developed are very important for us. One that I didn’t mention was with meals. About a year ago my wife decided out of the blue that when I am not at work I am responsible for all meals in our home – from grocery shopping, meal preparation, to clean up. She is an excellent chef herself and sometimes decides that she will cook (and I will assist), and even then I do the cleanup myself.
I love working in the kitchen and watching my lovely wife and Mistress relaxing in the living room, watching TV, or reading. When we do eat she sits at the head of the table and I sit off to the side. I am constantly getting up to fetch things (e.g. refill wine glass, getting condiments). I now realize how much work she went through when she prepared the meals. When we are finished eating and I would like to begin clean up I must ask her permission to leave the table.
As you mentioned in your earlier response to me, these ritual truly send me to a deep level of submission which is where I am most happy. Every morning I love looking at my rear end in the bathroom mirror to see the brand she has placed on me. I feel owned – her property. At the same time, I am certain that our rituals have helped my wife’s own confidence in herself and in her loving leadership of our family soar.
We have 2 young adult daughters who live away from home. They have told us that when they are home and see how we now interact (we have to become a bit more vanilla but my wife's dominance and my submission to her is clearly present), we are providing for them a model of the kind of marriage they would like to have someday.
Sincerely,
vic
That's great Vic. I enjoyed reading the positive effects the rituals have on you and your submission. IT's great that you are setting a great example for your kids. It will be interesting to see if they end up in a FLR. I wonder about that with my own kids. I find it fascinating that it occurred with Kathy's daughter on the FLR101 blog. It is a wonderful things and I enjoy reading about it on her blog.
DeleteHello everyone. About branding. Are you talking an ink tattoo or are you talking a bit of metal, shaped into a desired form, heated red hot, and then applied to the skin of ones pet for a few seconds? About children. They get into everything. At 17-18 years of age I would think that they have a clue as to what mom and dad do behind closed doors. Your marriage is good so why not explain how a FLR marriage can work for them. I regret not telling mine how wonderful it is and could be for them.
DeleteDear Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteI would say that Punishment, actual harsh or demeaning punishment is one of those things that clearly set a Female Led Marriage apart. On several occasions I have been on the receiving end of hours of corner time, mouth soaping or any number of cruel lessons. My wife punishes with intent, to both teach and to ensure obedience and that I meet high standards. That would not happen in a vanilla world. :)
Yes, the harshness is important. A punishment that is more fantasy and enjoyable is not effective. The harshness of the punishment should be based on how disobedient the husband has been. Let the punishment fit the crime! Thanks for bringing up this important point.
ReplyDeleteWe need it. Don’t hold back ladies. You will see the change.
Delete