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I have written about so many topics related to Wife Led Marriage over the last few years. I am honestly running out of ideas of things to post. What are some topics that you all would like to hear about?
I would love to pose a question to everyone and have people submit opinion posts providing different view points to answer the question. What are some good questions that can be posed that would generate a good discussion and different opinions?
My wife really struggles with the ability to keep herself into the flr, bdsm relationship. She says 24/7 is too much. I tell her that 24/7 is mainly in the mindset while you are with or away from that person. There should be a way that a woman should be able to change her man into her submissive.I want her to be able to change me into her slave. Is there anything that a woman can do to make the changes necessary to convert her husband into her slave. You know a step by step that would really work and keep her interested to make this work. We are both retired with no kids at home.
ReplyDeleteShe got excited once when a dom named Ingrid Bellemare came out with a slave training manual. She started the training but then started talking with other doms that said it was too intense. It wasn't for me but that was the end of that. We still struggle to this day, any thoughts would help. Thanks, Steve
I will kick this off with 4 topics than come to mind worth exploring.
ReplyDeleteTOPICS:
• Assuming you wanted to convince a friend to explore female led DD, what points would you want to convey to them. This can be a woman who is considering it or you think would be a good candidate – or a man who is general interested but reluctant to try it.
• Is physical discipline such as spanking necessary in some female led relationships or is it just an option. If a woman does not use corporal punishment how does she produce obedience and ensure compliance. Do many women have a reluctance to punish when it is needed and gets the job done faster and better than non-punitive methods?
• For couples in long term established female led relationships, how do they change over time? How do you maintain them when one of both partners are distracted or lose interest? Can female led be forever?
• Do you think interest in female led DD relationships is increasing these days or about the same as always? If you think it is the same, why do you think that? If you think interest is increasing, why ?
Alan
Alan,
DeleteGood to see you back.
Joe
How to have the conversation with your partner to try a FLR who is turned off by the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteHow to encourage the partner to seek support from other women who understand the benefits of a FLR.
Joe
Another topic would be pegging. Maybe something to help wives who are new to FLR or not sure about it (both of those are true for my wife) to get started or even consider this for their husbands…I think it can be daunting for some to even consider
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFirst i want to say how thankful i am for all you wrote in the past. You can not imagine how helpful this blog was in the beginning for my girlfriend and me.
ReplyDeleteI would like to read more about the pressure a lot of subs (like me) putting on the Dom to get more and more dominated and how this make here feel and how she should response to that.
And i would like to have a interview section. Interviews with subs or doms how they manage there lifestyle in daily life.
Sorry for my english, i am not a native english speaker. Greetings from a german speaking area :-)
There is a profile section on my blog, which is similar to an interview. Please feel free to complete one and e-mail it to me at mzkaylee101@gmail.com
DeleteHave you previously written about various aspects of financial domination? Trust issues, how far is potentially too far, the husband willing to risk everything including house, 401k etc to the wife? What then, if the relationship goes bad etc. Some couples possibly go too far with that, and the husband could be literally nearly penniless if they split, and she truly wanted to keep it all. That's not so smart. The weekly allowance is fine, but perhaps some pragmatism, and common sense of the total finances is needed also.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the hours you dedicate to this blog Mz Kaylee, I know I spent over ten hours completing, changing, and editing my ONE guest blog. I can fully understand that you would run out of ideas. I have gained alot from this blog, while ironically I've also lost some freedoms, and control because of it also. I appreciate all your hard work.
I wonder what you think about humiliation in a FLR. for example light humiliation to make him wear panties.
ReplyDeleteThe role of a male chastity cage in and FLR.. Is it really a necessity? Is voluntary chastity acceptable or do you feel the man will always cheat?
ReplyDeleteMaybe some commentary about the never ending problem of people feeling the need to seek and identify "normal" as something someone else has deemed to be correct, or worthy, or "normal, what the hell normal is. Questions, blogs, articles, statements that attempt to lump everyone like men, women, subs, Dom/Dommes, gay, straight, FLR, WLM, etc., etc., and so on and so on, into categories for discussion that are flawed from the outset.
ReplyDeleteI'm a straight, alpha, masculine man that is also submissive to my beautiful Dominant Wife. As such, if she has me caged, or in panties or wearing a plug all day, for ANY reason she deems worthy, it doesn't change who I but rather is evidence of what our dynamic is, and what we exclusively do.
There seems to be unnecessary importance always placed on defining certain things or people at the outset of discussion, contemplation or discovery, which in and of itself prevents that person from discovering who they actually are.
I hope my ramble babble makes sense.
Hey SubHub, I think you make a very good point here and something that should be discussed. “What is normal” for a FLR? My wife and I had a very good conversation over dinner about this very subject. We are new to it all. She is no prude, but it’s all a bit overwhelming in some cases. She asked about a thread MzKaylee had posted that i had sent her, she has asked for some ideas that turned me on. The post i sent was Trying Something Nee. This post has alot of info, some of which she was immediately a no to. We talked and I explained that I dont have any expectations, I simply saw MzKaylee’s writings to chocked full of ideas for her….she has to find out what works for her not me. The second part of our conversation was….none of this is “normal” in society so we shouldn’t worry about what is normal in FLR for us.
DeleteSub hub writes: “There seems to be unnecessary importance always placed on defining certain things or people at the outset of discussion …”
DeleteI strongly agree with this – we excessively fall back on labeling and cataloguing experiences fretting whether it’s really an FLR or a DD or “female led” or BDSM, etc., etc. Ironically we use the categories and many more to try to understand ourselves and others, but usually the end up getting in the way of understanding. We also confuse normal and average often conflating the two when they have very different meanings. IN our culture probably no female led relationship is really average in the sense that a majority or most people are in such a relationship. But virtually any kind of female led relationship is normal in the sense that it is probably well within the enormous range of sexual behavioral diversity exhibited by Homo sapiens.
Alan
My Domme struggles with appropriate forms of punishment that aren’t corporal. How do you decide what punishments “fit the crime”?
ReplyDeleteWe are in a process of developping our FLR. As often it is more my idea.
ReplyDeleteI would highly appreciate to have some posts about the womans personal feeling in a FLR:
- What are her likes in a FLR?
- For men a FLR is also sexual connected - for some womans there are no sexual feelings about dominating a man. Can this work?
- How changes the feelings of a woman for her men, if he is interested in being dominated?
- Discipin and structure: How to handle if the woman herself is a more creative or chaotic person?
I am also sorry about my English. Thanks for your interest.
Greetings Peter
Thank you all for your positive comments and for submitting ideas for topics. I never doubted that you would come up with some great topics to write about. This will certainly keep me busy. I'd also like to remind everyone that well thought out guest posts are welcome so feel free to submit a post on the topics above if any of them resonate with you.
ReplyDeletePegging is not something I do, so if anyone has experience with it, please submit a post. It would be great hear both a subs perspective and a doms perspective so guys and ladies, I would love to hear from you!
Perhaps insight and perspective from Thomas in the regarding previous topics?
ReplyDeleteMs. Kaylee, Thank you so much for your blog. You are truly a treasure. If I might add a couple ideas:
ReplyDelete1) The subtle art of erotic humiliation (including signals or words to humiliate or remind the sub of his position while in public). You have written about the power of words and rituals. Some are definitely more humiliating.
2) Maintaining submission while apart (whether for simply a workday or several days).
3) Expectations for submissive behavior towards Domme while in public or with friends who are unaware (for example, my Wife tells me I am to demonstrate how “pussy-whipped” I am without “over-doing it” and She reviews my behavior afterwards).
4) The psychological impact of the submissive male depending on his Dominant partner for approval of all orgasms.
First of all I would like to thank Mz Kaylee for her time writing an incredible and informative blog.
ReplyDeleteI would really like to hear about couples who share their lifestyle with friends. Example my wife has an old neighbor that is aware of our situation and has involved her in disciplining me and also strap on play. She also has another friend who is in the lifestyle and they visit us and we are made to serve them naked and we have a discipline night together
If blogger gives you the ability to imbed surveys within a blog post, how about an anonymous reader survey digging into some of the specifics of the each users relationship as it relates to an flr. And even more specifically, from your female readers only. The woman's perspective in the female led relationship. I say this only because the majority of content already existing and relating to flr is posted and related to the male perspective. It would be highly interesting to get a more detailed account from your female readers on the specifics of their current relationships. So questions such as age range, general education and job background, who initiated, various domestic and sexual practices followed, tools used (chastity/pegging etc), orgasm ratio's, any question which would provide more insight into a woman's take on this whole flr subject. We've heard enough from the men!
ReplyDeleteAJ - I agree! I am always seeking the female perspective and hoping for more females to comment. It is challenging to get other females to participate. Even If I posted a survey for females, I doubt I'd get many responses. However, I've been wanting to do an in-depth survey for many years. I am unaware of a survey function in Blogger. I've considered using a third-party tool like Survey Monkey and posting a link.
DeleteI've actually started writing a survey a few years ago but never finished it. Surveys need to be structured carefully in order for them to result in meaningful and useful data so it takes some thought and time to build. I've seen way too many surveys that are structured poorly. Perhaps one day, I will get motivated to start it up again.
I second the last comment ! We sound like a broken record !
ReplyDeleteTake care
John Dalton
I would second AJ’s comments!
ReplyDeletesw
I just wish like the others for more women to comment.
ReplyDeleteI love the suggestions for new topics, particularly viewing the FLR from women's perspectives. That is one of the main things that I have appreciated about this blog, and a few others, that are written by women.
ReplyDeleteI have been interested in how my own views of myself and my role in the relationship, and how my Domme's views of herself and her role, have grown and changed over time. I would love to see more discussion about changing identity and changing roles as the FLR evolves. I have a suspicion that how we view ourselves and our roles have a big impact on how we feel about, and how we approach the FLR dynamic. For example, I see comments about how many women initially are uncomfortable with the idea of an FLR, but some women warm up to the idea but do not necessarily approach it in the ways that the man fantasized about. Thinking about the woman's views of herself and her views of the nature and roles in the FLR probably make a huge difference in her comfort level.
By rough count, this blog has over 630000 words. The word "respect" is only used 115 times and most of these usages concern the submissive male's respect for the dominant female.
ReplyDeleteMy question is, how does a wife retain respect for her husband that willfully submits to her at all times, or whenever she demands?
I have tried to write down the current dynamics of my marriage but each time, it seems like I am complaining about my wife. Here is a much abridged version.
I am happily married but would like it if my wife would be less passive aggressive in communicating what she wants. I would also like it if sexual dominance were included, at least occasionally, in our everyday life.
Currently she my say something like "I was able to clean the bathroom sinks this morning but did not get to the rest." This means that she want me to clean the bathrooms. I now have to prioritize this task with other things that I had on my todo list. This process leaves me feeling pressured and resentful.
What I would like to hear is: "Clean the bathrooms and do it naked." A few years ago, we played a 'game' where she would occasionally assume a dominant role and give me this type of orders. Whenever she did this, no matter what the order was, I was energized and excited to accomplish the task.
We only played this 'game' for a few months. While I enjoyed the game, she seem to loose respect for me. She married a strong, take charge, person and she did not want someone that was submissive, even though she must be in control. The more we played, the less she respected me in other areas of our life.
So back to the original question. How do women in a FLR retain respect for their partners?
WLHusband
What makes you think your wife does not respect you? Perhaps you are misreading her.
DeleteInitially, it was her demeanor when she would give me a command. So, I specifically asked her about it and said that I needed her love and respect more than what I got from us playing the game. So we stopped playing.
DeleteA few months after this decision, she gave me a command using the language of the game. I was surprised and happily did the task in the way she had commanded. I thought that she may have decided that she liked the benefits of the game and that she would deal with the loss of respect issue.
That was the last time we played the game. I asked about it once but she did not want to talk about it. Though I still have hope; sometimes she will say something like "I bet I know how I can get you to do ...".
I don't think I am misreading her about the respect issue but I may be wrong. She does not like to talk about anything related to sex so she may not correct a misunderstanding on my part if the end result is something that she wants.
I have known her for over 40 years. One of the things I love about her is that she is always a mystery.
It could be that she just does not like to command you or feels uncomfortable about it. For a wife new to the concept of domination, it can be very uncomfortable and even feel mean to order her husband to do something. One of the things that helped along the way was that my husband would sincerely thank me the next day after I exerted control. This reassured me that what I was doing was fine.
DeleteYou also need to make your submission interesting and desirable for her. What is in it for her? Her ordering you to clean the bathroom may be fun for you, but it may not fun for her. One of the biggest mistake guys make is that they assume their wife will enjoy being a dominatrix to them. This is not true submission. What does she like and how are you going to go above and beyond to make her life better. Spend a month focusing on serving her needs and not your desires and see what a difference that makes.
Thank you for your response. I have written and rewritten this response at least 4 times.
ReplyDeleteYou have at a number of points that I need to consider or reconsider.
With regard to this conversation, I feel like a moth, drawn to a flame. I so want to continue it so that I can have you input. But, providing personal information in a public space is troubling and more importantly, sharing a part of me, that in some way belongs to my wife, is a type of infidelity.
Are you familiar with the story of the ‘spot quiz’ story? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9zv79fY4A4 ) I will think about and maybe take action on the advice you have given but will try to focus more on how wonderful my wife is and how great she has made our relationship.
Thank you again
WLHusband
Now for something on the topic of this blog. I came across this article: https://artofconnection.org/popular-dating-intimacy-and-sexual-topicss/sexual-arousal-types/
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to find out if there are common arousal types for women who enjoy being dominant.
WL Husband - I understand and respect your hesitancy to share more. Two thoughts for you to consider: 1) To the extent that no one knows the real person behind your user name, this truly is an anonymous forum for you to share, and 2) The challenges you are having are most likely challenges that others are facing and so sharing them in a public forum helps others. I encourage you and others to share your challenges and seek advice. Overcoming challenges is often easier with the help of others.
DeleteThank you for sharing the 'spot quiz story.' I had never heard of that before. It is a fantastic message.
I’m a new and somewhat reluctant Domme to my sub boyfriend. I’ve read where you mention punishment and discipline as mutually exclusive terms. Could you give some examples of when and how you use each? And perhaps examples of some of the things you do to carry out each? Thank you SO much in advance.
ReplyDeleteI also experimented a bit with stirring his arousal through perfume scent. It was working for me but I am not big on wearing perfume so I never stuck with it.
ReplyDeleteI really want to train him with my perfume any ideas?