Somewhat recently, I had an inspiration while watching one of those older period type movies where one of the female role characters was writing into her diary each day for therapy and reflection. I had one of those epiphany moments as I saw that. Implementing something along those lines could become a useful tool for us to use in our FLR relationship! As result, into my marital tool box which now contains several of his chastity devices, a couple of punishment straps of various types and various other tools and toys of the dominants wife's trade, we have added his daily journal into the mix. Actually, I have made it a point of the fact that the journal belongs to me, it is my journal, my ownership not his, but he has been tasked with writing in it and keeping its content up to my expectations each day. The journal which I bought for him has the year boldly embossed on its outer floral covering, and within it there is basically one page devoted to each day of that calendar year. The day of the month and the month of the year is printed on each blank page of the journal. The empty pages of each day are closely ruled, but otherwise empty. We keep the journal in the drawer of my home/office desk where it is easy for me to spot check as I work from home every day. Generally, I just take a very quick glance at it each day just to make sure he’s keeping it current. He is disciplined by me (not enjoyably) if the entries in my journal are not kept up to date with the previous days activities as the last entry within it. Then every Sunday night we have now established a small ritual where I am sitting comfortably at the couch reading through the weeks journal entries to myself as he kneels on the floor by my feet, massaging them with oil or lotion. I’ll make some occasional comments or observations to him out loud as I read through it, and the review session finally ends with my signing my journal at the end of that current week under review. Along with my signature I will also make a very brief journal entry of my own below my signature with one of these three standard weekly grades:
1) Meets expectations.
2) Needs improvement.
3) Exceeds expectations.
Based off his weekly grade we can than have further discussions outside of the journal activity where we can work on and strive for his continued devotional improvement. If he achieves a grade of needs improvement, we can also talk about that as well as provide the necessary correctional steps to get him on the right path. This might just be verbal coaching on my part, physical discipline and correction from me or a combination of both. If he continually exceeds weekly expectations then that might set him up for some sort of merit reward for being a good boy. If he is solidly meeting expectations week after week, then that too is also something which can be addressed. He clearly needs to at times go the extra mile for me, for us, and our FLR relationship, to earn those exceeds expectations remarks.
These are the types of daily entries which I expect for him to make in my journal each evening, at the days conclusion:
1) A daily accounting/summation by my husband, of all of the “standard” acts of devotion he has bestowing upon me that day. By listing all devotional FLR related tasks which he has provided me (us) we can monitor and track his progress with each area of devotion. This helps set his weekly tempo and helps for him to schedule and keep track of all his assigned tasks. So this is where he notes things such as cleaning the floors, cleaning the bathroom, laundry, dishes, my foot massages, making my bath ready fro me, his yard work etc, etc. The standard devotional items we expect him to perform during the course of a normal week in our FLR marriage.
2) Any other devotional items he has bestowed upon me which are sort of one offs and outside of the normal group of devotional tasks he typically provides me with during the course of a typical week. These type of entries will lead to his earning his exceeds expectations grades. Examples might be a special one off gifts to me, a surprise event such as taking me to a play or concert, buying me a bottle of perfume with his weekly allowance etc. Doing anything not already scripted and established and uniquely special to me/us.
3) He will also record if he had received a pegging that night. I insist that its not enough for him just to record that fact that it occurred, but I also want him to write a brief but somewhat detailed statement on how much he enjoyed the pegging and how he felt while receiving it. I want to feel some genuine emotion in his accounting, not just a recording of “yea I got pegged”. I want him to come to terms with how much he really has come to enjoy these sessions and how they have replaced intercourse involving his penis. Writing about it with some detail I find makes it more real for him and exposes his arousal and need to receive his pegging from me. It also helps to keep me engaged (and aroused) with providing him with this type of reward. I like reading about his experiences.
4) I want him to record what he felt his seepage was for that specific day. This is going to be light, medium or heavy as an entry into his journal. This is just an estimation of what he felt his pre-cum output was for the day. Since he is in long term chastity and does receive regular teasing from me, he does tend to drip throughout the day, to various degrees. I want to keep track of that amount so to speak. This helps me with understanding what works for teasing and what does not. It’s sort of a barometer to me to gauge my efforts, and where he might stand while engaging in long term chastity and orgasm denial. If he has several days of high flowage - I know that what I am doing is working or perhaps working to well and that I have to dial it back a bit etc. If he reports low output that might indicate other issues which I may wish to adjust for. Most of the time I want to keep him right on the teetering edge, but I don’t want him to prematurely tilt and have an orgasm even if its some sort of ruined orgasm or just a large unneeded outflow which will detract from our game plan.
5) If he experienced any sort of significant drainage that day outside of his more normal dripping, ie any sort or ruined orgasm, nocturnal emission, or just any sort of noticeably out of the ordinary drainage I want him to record it, I want to know about it! I also want him to record the specific circumstances surrounding that emission. I want to know what was going on in his mind and body that triggered the event. This might be something like prostate milking with my hand or dildo, or from a pegging, or just waking up from a dream all wet. Him over venturing off into fantasy world with his thoughts too much, and turning his mind to mush. I want to know the detailed specifics, his self analysis, especially if it was one of the fantasizing variety of events that triggered his emission. This helps me to understand his various triggers and cravings. This helps me tailor our system of tease and denial and helps me to further understand and control his various submissive needs and desires.
6) I want him to make a detailed entry relating to his current state of chastity and denial. What he is currently feeling emotionally, what is his current degree of struggle is with the process and his state of mind. Did he wake up with painful morning wood that morning? How many times in round about numbers has he felt himself trying to erect throughout that day. Again this helps me to establish what is his current state of mush is and helps me to adjust my dominant activities accordingly.
7) Did he receive any discipline or correction that day? He needs to record it. What were the exact circumstances behind it. What was his side of the story and how was he wrong with his transgression. Did he feel it was unfair. What was the exact correction or discipline that he received. What he will try to do to correct it so that it doesn’t repeat.
8) What was his favorite tease that he received from me that day and specifically why? What made it so special or arousing to him. How did his body react when he received it. I want and expect the details from him.
9) Updating all of the general statistics I want him to keep track of each and every day. I like statistics.
a) How many orgasms he supplied me that day if any. Sometimes its zero, but more rarely. Sometimes its just one, but more usually its 2 and occasionally higher - it just depends. And then what the cumulative total for the year is on my orgasms. I find that this helps keep him in tune with his submission to me to know how often he has been able to please me to the point of my orgasm. He really takes pride of his abilities in this department, and I want him to be fully aware of how good he is with that tongue of his.
b) His own orgasm count for the year. Not normal or high leakage or ruined orgasms but his count of full blown conventional orgasms for the year. Again I want him to be keenly aware of what the required difference is between our orgasm schedules. I want him to explicitly know/feel where he is at with this figure each day.
c) I want him also to record the actual date of his last full blown orgasm. This date will likely stay the same with the vast majority of his daily entries, but I want him to be in full knowledge of that specific date at all times. I want it cemented, its helps build his sexual angst.
d) How many consecutive days in chastity he currently is at. It we quickly have to remove his device temporarily for cleaning or what not that doesn't count as being out of chastity for him. Only if its the better part of a day, that then counts as a reset counter for him.
e) His current count for how many times in the year he has been pegged by me. Since this number will be much higher than his total orgasm count. This one really messes with his mind and keeps him feeling very submissive to me.
f)
He will step on the scale and record his
physical weight. This is helpful to us both in many ways. He feels like a
sexier and more virile man when his weight is in check. When he is holding a
steady and healthy weight it helps me to ensure that hes going to be around a
long while providing me with what I need….etc. Its just good for him and the
marriage.
This is about it. These are the expected entries he is currently making for me. It might sound like a lot of overhead for him, perhaps unrealistic to some. But trust me its not. Now that he is over a month into the writing process, I would say it takes him no more that 15 minutes each night to update my journal. We have made a small template sheet that he references as he writes into the journal to make sure he is ticking all of the required entries into my journal, It’s like anything else once you establish a repetitive process, it becomes easier and more natural. I think he actually now looks forward to writing in the journal for me.
What are the benefits and what is the point of this? Huge I think! From my/our results so far, from the visible effects to his daily state of mind, I wish we had implemented this long long ago, I really do. Outside of providing me with some sort of analytical view and feedback into what is going on with him and his mind, his mush factor, its a window into the FLR part of our marriage and all of its associated activities. The best and most important part of this exercise is the effect its having on his mind, his submission and his state of heightened arousal. Writing about his experiences is like a daily mind fuck for him. Just like wearing his panties and wearing his chastity device each day for me, this is playing with his mind in delicious ways every single night. Its molding his mindset into a specific frame right before he goes off to bed and helps to fuel his fires for the next day. I can really feel his increased arousal and submission each day since we have started this. Men are typically so non verbal and closed up. This is helping him to be more expressive. Perhaps what he feels less comfortable verbalizing to me, he is more comfortable writing to me instead, and his comfort is growing with each repetition of this exercise. It also provides a concrete way for him to feel appreciated for all that he does for me and the relationship.
What he gifts me each and every day is there in black and white.
I read through his journal each week and sign off on it. I give him a grade! So
he knows that I am fully and 100% aware of what he is giving up for me, what he
is providing me. He is not existing in some sort of ungrateful vacuum of
unawareness by me. It helps him to know that he is appreciated and that I
understand what he is going through for me and us. He’s not anonymous in what
he does. I think it also helps him to
understand everything special that I have embraced and am providing him daily
to keep him in his desired state of being. Its not a one way give and take,
both parties are of benefit. You get the
point, but its a very important point and its vital to the enduring nature of
what we have going on in our relationship. I would suggest that more couples
give this a try, adjust it to your specifics. I think you both will be
pleasantly surprised on the outcome, and…. its almost 100% free, the cost of a
book and a pen. It’s juicy reading as
well! I can tell you quite honestly it
makes me more than a bit wet to read and
review his journal entries each Sunday. If you like your romance novel and you
are living the FLR life you are definitively going to enjoy reading your
journal. I have a hard time not peeking into his entries each morning just to
get the latest visual on his state of mind!
I wouldn’t mind massaging the pretty feet of a woman in her twenties every day.
ReplyDeleteAJ, I absolutely love this and I am going to think about the right way and time to bring it up with my wife because I would love to do it with Her, if even for a month or two. I believe it would help me focus and be a better submissive, and I believe it would help Her better understand me.
ReplyDeleteIt would be wonderful to hear from your husband about this. Would you ever consider tasking him with writing a post about what it is like for him to journal for You and to kneel at Your feet while You read his thoughts and be graded by You? Thank You for this wonderful contribution! Edwin
As a submissive man myself, this is the kind of intimacy that I crave. Chastity, chores, and rituals are all amazing, but what is most appealing to me about an FLR is this right here. Allowing my wife into my most intimate emotional spaces and trusting that she will use the information responsibly and make the best decisions for me and us together is one of my the most glorious things in life.
ReplyDeleteIt works on two levels because this is incredibly hot also, especially the act of recording pre-cum leakage, releases, etc.
AJ, you've really got this down! I sent this to my partner and am hoping she implements it with me.
-T
Wonderful post AJ. So many truths and great insights throughout. It seems so intense. I am surprised it only consumes 15 minutes of his time each day. Do you ever find that the daily entries become monotonous or too repetitive?
ReplyDeleteYou have described what I see as a very powerful tool for a female in a WLM and FLR. What I like about it is that it requires minimal effort from the Female, while at the same time it subjects the male to more intense control. This is a strategy that keeps the male feeling controlled and mind fucked even when you are not around. The benefits you describe are spot on. While I do not require a journal, my husband writes me letters regularly, and he does tend to share more and open up more in his letters than when he talks verbally to me. I have learned a lot about the way he thinks from his letters and have used those insights to control him. Also, as you have noted - "writing about his experiences is like a daily mind fuck for him." This is so true for my husband too. He has admitted more than once that he becomes aroused and submissive while writing the letters and he is always excited for me to read them. Sometime I will read them while he kneels before me or lays next to me in the bed.
ReplyDeleteMe Kaylee, you nailed it with this statement.
Delete“What I like about it is that it requires minimal effort from the Female, while at the same time it subjects the male to more intense control.”
And the fact that it requires little effort on your part just magnifies the males submissiveness thus giving you even more control. Couple that with a Females humor about the males reaction totally drives them into total submission. In the end the male is in awe of the Female and as a result becomes totally dependent and needy for more. That’s very moving how it causes those deep of feelings.
Hello all. Yes there does tend to be a fair amount of repetition in several of his journal entries day to day, but I guess for me that's part of the point and benefit of him making those daily as it really cements those areas in his mind. There is enough variation in his remaining entries where it does remain a bit fresh each day. I would say my insight into what going on his mind every day is a bit secondary in nature, this is more to promote what's going on fresh in his mind every day as he completes the journal and things about it. Just thinking about it with some analytical detail each night as he writes causes him to get re-excited and keeps his mind freshly mushed. Because a fair amount of it is so repetitive in what he is writing, and that the daily format is standardized, this allows him to complete his task pretty efficiently now in that 15 minutes or so its taking him. Yes the first week we tried this it took him much longer especially those first few days and especially day one which was ground zero with all of the stats and what not. Once the preceding day's data is in place, this is most of what he might need for the next day's entries, minus just the new stuff which has taken place that next day. So it is not really much of a time burden to him at this point, and he is able to get through his writing pretty quickly. As observed, this is to a large extent, a self initiated mind fuck which he imposes upon himself as he thinks and writes, so he really does look forward to this exercise now. It's like FLR porn for him that he is creating and living each night as he does this. The big difference between porn and what he is doing is that he knows this is real for him - so that's huge. It's secondary that I get a better glimpse into his minds inner workings and where he is at each day with our FLR relationship. I don't know what all of the other ladies experiences are with their hubbies, but mine in general has always been pretty tight lip-ed about his emotions and what is going on in his mind which to me as a woman, has always been one of the most frustrating aspects about being in a relationship. As women, I think we naturally verbalize and can discuss/express our feelings so much more openly than men. This writing thing is really helping me to crack the oyster so to speak to get him to open himself up to me. I see that once this is further cemented as an activity, that I can grow upon it to get him to open up further in other aspects of our life. It's a learning type thing and a behavioral change, and the journaling I strongly believe is helping me change his. The beauty with this is that it requires so little overhead from the wife/girlfriend. He's doing all of the lifting, I just occasionally interject into his self fuck process with the reviews etc to keep him energized. Also I know many of us have different stances on what are central components to maintaining our FLR relationships such as discipline, chastity, pegging etc. What fits in ones cup of tea doesn't into another's. The journal format can easily be restructured to fit the lifestyles of any couple on this site - I believe, and still provide the same type of overall benefit.
ReplyDeleteWas this really written by a woman? It's every submissive man's fantasy. Chastity, licking pussy every day, getting pegged every day, having a wet panty every day from being so horny, etc... I wish there were more women that think like this. I hope your husband knows how fortunate he is to have all his sexual submissive fantasies become reality.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't have to keep as extensive a journal as this, I do have "Robert's Punishment Diary," in which I'm required to record any and all punishments and the reason for them. It always starts with the date and punishment (spanking, cornertime, writing lines, etc) and then details on why I needed to be disciplined. We review them together occasionally to make sure I'm learning from my discipline... which actually does occur now and then! Thanks for the post.
ReplyDeleterobert, a submissive husband
We have a similar nightly routine although there's no journal involved and it's more about staying connected. As a 'break' from night chores and before she gets ready for bed, she'll call me into the living room and we'll discuss our day and/or anything else on our minds. An hour and much foot balm later she'll go to bed to read while I'll generally stay up finishing whatever work there is to do.
ReplyDeleteAJ
ReplyDelete"I want him also to record the actual date of his last full blown orgasm. This date will likely stay the same with the vast majority of his daily entries, but I want him to be in full knowledge of that specific date at all times. I want it cemented, its helps build his sexual angst."
In general I like the idea of a journal. My husband will be keeping one. He is an extremely well organized person and this won't cut into his time. To encourage honesty I going to let some of the topics he will report on be ones he decides. The reason I highlighted the section about orgasms and will direct him specifically to address it is because I honestly want to know his thoughts. My husband will get three more orgasms this year and two orgasms next year. After that, the future is unclear. We've tried prostate milking with some success and he has confessed he likes orgasm control and denial. I don't think I could ever permanently deny him orgasms (as Mz Kaylee and others have said "I want him to know what he's missing), but I'm never going to make a decision about it and be inflexible one way or the other. He must have a say in it as well or I risk being cruel.
Joan
Joan: I will say, having gone through an 18 month period without orgasm, that it does get "easier" over time and that there are plenty of ways one learns to harness/redirect the angst and energy. It really did get to the point for me where I'd given up any hope and instead my brain began to equate her pleasure with my own.
DeleteHello, Joan.
DeleteAnd how does he manage that sexual angst?
Isn't he irritable? Or It makes him be more submissive?
Thanks you!
Anonymous,
DeleteThank you for your comment and questions. The FLR my husband and I enjoy developed from his interest and requests. He may get irritable after a long teasing without an orgasm, but it passes and he tells me he was glad I didn't let him release. My husband is a strong person and manages people in his career, but he is submissive to me and I don't think denial has made him more submissive. He has also learned to redirect his sexual energy to satisfying Mistress Joan and getting enjoyment from it. He takes care of the housework and weekly errands. That keeps him busy. We have yet to see how he will react when he only gets one or two orgasms next year and mainly prostate milking as relief.
Joan
Regarding irritability, in the past I paid attention to this and when I felt he was getting too irritable, I'd give him an orgasm. I would also give him orgasms at other random times so that he did not associate orgasms with irritability. Over time, he could go longer before getting to the irritable point and eventually he learned to live with his denial without getting irritable. I guess his mind and body embraced the horniness. It's important to be aware of his attitude during denial. There is no sense doing something that forces him into a bad state of mind. I do believe it is something that evolves (the ability to handle long-term denial) as he becomes more experienced with denial.
DeleteRegarding a mans “irritability” stemming from prolonged orgasm denial…. I find that with my own husband, that we really only experienced that in any real great negative depth with him when we were first starting out with full time chastity and denial. So maybe more so that first year of heavy denial that we experienced. He was (We were) still learning what then motivated and drove his deeper submission and overall sexual and mental fulfillment in being a true submissive to me sexually. It was a learning curve and a definite weaning process for him both physically, mentally and emotionally. Over what I would say was that first true year of full time denial (minus a few one off type of normal orgasms), he learned to channel his sexual frustration and yearning for orgasm into avenues that were tremendously more productive to our FLR relationship and were what his inner being was really craving much more than that 5 second orgasm he was so used to, that being, his near and total sexual submission to me. That’s what he really was looking for - he just didn’t fully realize it at the time. Neither of us did. Once he and I both understood that greater need and the greater overall satisfaction he derived from staying orgasm free (for the most part), it suddenly became much easier to us both , especially him. Now as I have repeatedly said in various posts and comments, his orgasms are mostly achieved at a mental and physiological level when he satisfies me, especially sexually. There is just a ton of weird wonderful FLR stuff going on up in his head now that has totally super-ceded the need and his overwhelming driving desire for a physical orgasm. It like a substitution has taken place and its been this wonderful morph of a 5 second physical process taking place between his legs to this much more satisfying mental orgasm which occurs in the space between his ears the entire day long. This is a very difficult concept for someone who is not at this reckoning and need in their life to comprehend and fully understand. I struggle with it still from the wife’s perspective , but when I see his overarching enjoyment and life altering overall satisfaction and benefit from this sexual and mental positioning - I go with it - and have learned to embrace it just as much as he has. Simply put its a process in evolution, and its an evolution which he started and embraced - with just maybe that one most difficult year as he and I both learned what his real deep seated needs and desires were with this. The irritability goes away as he discovers himself in this process.
DeleteDear Mz AJ and Mz Kaylee,
DeleteIrritability is quite key to the mechanics of an FLR when the man is kept in chastity, and it is important to find a solution that works for both of you. My wife keeps me locked up because she really likes how I am when locked - attentive, cuddly, responsive, loving and yes, much more obedient. But she also keeps me locked because she can be 100 per cent in charge of the sexual tempo of our marriage. That means sex is on her terms, how and when she wants it. She is not really into penetrative sex anymore, not that I was any good at it. Over the course of our marriage she has coached me to be very good with my tongue and that is how she now wants sex most of the time. It might be five times in a week or once a month. Her body dictates. Menopause can be complicated! I am almost always locked when I help her to orgasm and I have come to the point where I totally get my sexual satisfaction from her orgasms. It really is possible to get immense physical and mental relief while being locked up and without having an orgasm yourself but by sharing in her pleasure. She says I'm like those female pornstars who make all the right moans and groans, but I really am feeling it. But being a male, it doesn't take long before I am looking forward to her next orgasm and here's where the irritability can kick in. So we have a special iPad to which only she knows the password. Once a day, I am allowed 30 minutes to read blogs like this and to view images of FLR and sissy scenarios. I am always locked but am allowed to rub my cage. Not only does it take the irritability away, it also keeps me focused. It is now mid May and the last time I had an uncaged orgasm was last October. I occasionally have little mini ruined orgasms from my caged rubs (I wear a Holy Trainer small), but most often I will just release spontaneously (which is where pantyliners are super useful!). Growing up as a sissy cross dresser who was not very well endowed, I never thought I would get a girlfriend, let alone get married to someone as gorgeous as my wife, so I can genuinely say that I have never been happier!
Sissy Jenna
Sissy your experiences seem to be inline with what I have observed with my husband. Now that he has sufficiently evolved in his submissive role within the relationship, with both his body and mind, his irritability can be kept minimized. I should also say that his irritability needs to exist and my focus should not become on totally eliminating it, just managing it and controlling it. Without any doubt whatsoever, continued and varied tease and denial from me is required to keep the greater dynamics of our FLR relationship functioning properly. Without it the entire FLR engine would just not work. But tease and denial, especially prolonged tease and denial such as we practice, will build a certain degree of irritability within him. This is also guaranteed, its a naturally occurring part of the FLR life cycle. His panty wearing and the chastity device which he wears for me day in and day out, really help me to provide this needed ongoing raw edge on him with minimal effort on my part. But its a constant yin and yang balancing process on my end. I have to keep a bit of raw emotional edge on him for dynamics with our FLR to work, that irritability factor which he experiences, but I need to periodically temper that irritability so that it doesn't overwhelm him.
DeleteIt is my job as his dominant, his wife, to provide him with alternative outlets so that he can vent his “excessive” pent up frustration levels resulting from being actively teased and denied, and within a working FLR relationship, so that these frustrations don’t become big enough to become any sort of real issue for us as a couple. On my end these additional outlets range from domestic functions which he accomplishes for my greater pleasure. A busy husband has less time and energy to dwell on his irritability. Activities revolving around my own regular and ongoing sexual satisfaction which he routinely provides and which he really closely identifies with at this point in time are also a large source of venting for him. While I have adapted my body and my mind to absolutely love and expect my frequent orgasms from him, provided by his now very learned tongue, the greater need for this frequent activity has always been to help keep him satiated with his own submissive needs and not just for my own selfish sexual needs as some may think. I keep re-iterating this over and over, but my orgasms have really become his own in so many meaningful real ways. Additionally I have also found that If I just at times just provide him with a rather severe disciplinary session, such as a heavy extended strapping, this can get him sufficiently refocused away from his passing thoughts of irritability of getting denied. Somewhat regular pegging sessions also go a long way with my husband in taking and keeping off the undesired raw edge off of of his cravings. I view pegging s and discipline as regular maintenance activities with him, they are just needed. I have made my own evolution and have experienced my own struggles with realizing the need for these pieces of the FLR dynamic, but experience has taught me of their required place in the relationship. I am also experiencing my own evolution process to embrace and enjoy these activities to a larger and larger degree as time goes by. Other couples will certainly disagree with me on this and their own working practices within their own homes will vary from mine, but this is what I have found to be true in my own relationship. I have learned that it is advantageous and needed for him to always have some degree of irritability as this means he is experiencing enough tease and denial from me to give him what he needs in the relationship, to keep his engine going, but I just need to keep him from reaching the nasty edge with it which can develop it not controlled. I have to help provide him with an alternative focus for his energies and at this point in the game, its become so routine for me to do so that its not really much of an issue. But I cant ignore his irritability. I have to look for signs of it (the journal he is currently keeping for me is really helping with this - another big plus for that - were still loving it - I again highly recommend this to couples) and I need to nip it in the bud to provide him with that needed immediate relief that will allow the dynamics within our marriage to keep moving in a positive direction for the both of us.
DeleteThere are so many great ideas here! My husband would hate keeping a journal, which probably means he should be doing it! When he gets his weekly spanking we discuss his behavior for the previous week, and he knows he is in big trouble if he leaves anything out.
ReplyDeleteWhen he has earned a punishment during te week, we always discuss the reasons. During the spanking I expect true contrition and promises of improved behavior, and the spanking continues until I am convinced he really means it.
I am going to seriously consider requiring a journal!
Trina
Dear Mz AJ and Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteI have had a weekly review for a long time now and it is the glue that holds the FLR together. Most importantly it's about communication as you rightly point out. I am not made to keep a journal but my wife will ask for an essay on certain subjects that she wants to know about. She is not really a blog reader so this keeps her in touch with subjects in an FLR as well as what I am feeling. In one early essay for example I told her about my history of dressing up in girls clothes from a very early age, but they can be on any topic she sets me or what I feel I need to write about. I don't do one every week but maybe about 10 to 15 a year. She even marks and grades them! My weekly reviews are always on a Monday morning in her study so sometimes I have to work on the essays over the weekend - like being back at school!
Sissy Jenna
It's fantastic to hear so many different variations of the journal concept. As Trina pointed out - so many great ideas. Often times the comments are just as educational as the post and I love that! Thank you all for your sharing your experiences so that others can learn from them.
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteI'd like to ask if anyone could write about how a Dominant Woman can go about *approaching* (not being situated by, that's easy but also tasteless) Her selected submissive. It has to start with how to screen boys then how to situación then then how to dominante them / enslave them if you other that term.
ReplyDeleteIf there was any doubt about Gigi’s gender, it is now abundantly clear that Gigi is not a “GG.” He is a submissive male. And, btw, Gigi, I sincerely doubt that any Dominant woman needs advice on how to find a submissive man. Edwin
ReplyDeleteEdwin, think you’re correct on both points.
ReplyDeleteLike hearing the Women’s thoughts and observations. Trina, you made me laugh when said he would hate to keep a journal, so you should probably do it. Lol, you’re a Women that it is up to the challenge.
Thanks for all the great thoughts and perspectives.
Whereas I don't want to answer Edwin's inflamatory comment, he actually has a point I do want to clarify. I wasn't looking for advice, I was interested in what the different approaches to this subject.
ReplyDeleteA.J.'s writings never cease to captivate, and amaze me. A.J. you are one of the best.
ReplyDeleteI find writing a journal completely unfair as the male in a relationship. If I was put through what you put your husband through we would be taking about divorce.
ReplyDeleteThat's a fair statement. What works very effectively between two people in their relationship, won't necessarily work for another couple. That's part of the communication process that has to happen in any partnership. My wife made me remove the dishwasher from her kitchen, so I would have to wash, and dry them by hand. I appreciated her creativity in finding another means of control over me. For another couple that would be pushing things to far. These things need to be decided upon within each household between the two residing there.
DeleteMaybe my husband is really unusual, but he doesn't get frustrated with tease and denial. He says the endorphins run in his brain during edging much like they do during orgasm. In fact, he prefers being edged because the rush lasts longer! He never has the precipitous decline like after male orgasm. Since I play with his cock virtually every night -- way more sex than we had before WLM -- he gets the endorphin rush virtually every night and does not miss the orgasms. No frustration!
ReplyDeleteTrina
And the benefit for me is that instead of wanting to sleep, like most men want to do after orgasm, he is full of energy after edging and is ready to jump up and do some assigned chore, or rub my feet, or go get us a bottle of wine at midnight, or lick me until I beg him to stop. All while hard! He sometimes has to sit in his car waiting for his erection to subside before going in the store I have sent him to. What man does any of those things after orgasm?
DeleteTrina
Trina, that’s addicted and needy on his part and total control for you. It’s the Ying and the Yang complement on steroids. His brain must be mush most of the time just waiting for more direction from you.
DeleteLove it Trina!! Exactly how my hubby is. He is so desperate and full of energy after I have an orgasm. Sometimes after my orgasm I will squeeze my thighs and hold his head inchers from my crotch while a calm down for a few seconds. What i really enjoying doing is pushing him away and telling him to leave the room and calm down or I may just get up and leave the room and say "I am done with you.". This drives him wild.
Delete“I am done with you”, Wow he has to be total mush after that! Us submissive guys get so addicted if you push the right buttons and then just beg for more. My wife laughs at how simple and effective just a few words can be.
ReplyDeleteA submissive man must always strive to improve his service to his Goddess. A journal is an excellent way to record his efforts and measure his progress. Goddess regularly sets new service goals for him to achieve. She rewards or punishes her submissive based on his performance. I love to please my Goddess by pampering her and by freeing up her time to pursue her interests. I do all of the domestic chores except when she cooks occasionally.
ReplyDeleteBelow is an e-mail from Debbie that I received, in which she describes her use of a journal. With her permission, I am sharing it below. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThe following are some personal reflections about keeping a journal. While it seems like a lot of work most of the work is done by the male while most of the benefit is to the woman. David quit his outside job and is now a full time housekeeper He has to keep our home spick and span and also does housework for my mother and three of my girlfriends. Keeping a Journal is a big help.
What is it? - The Journal is a leather-bound book used to manage my husband. My mother and I have complete access to David's journal. We can read, make entries, make comments, make corrections and assign tasks and chores. All entries must be made in cursive, David makes entries in black ink while mother and I make entries in blue or red ink. David is required to make daily entries. Mother and I make entries as we see fit.
Journal Benefits - When I come home from work I don't want to hear about David's problems, I'd like for him to just shut up! The Journal is an executive briefing tool, not unlike the ones I have at work. A quick look at the journal gets me caught up as far as my husband has is concerned. The Journal greatly reduces talk time.
Benefits for David - While David speaks when spoken to he can be heard with a journal entry he can write any time. When David's iron was giving problems he posted in the journal entry stating his case for a new iron. Mother bought him a new iron the next day and a upscale one at that.
Housekeeping - My mother uses David every day for routine chores - cleaning, dusting, ironing - and whatever else comes up such as her wanting to be chauffeured some where. Three of my girlfriends each use him one day a week for household chores. It's a lot to keep straight. David logs his work in the Journal citing what was done for whom and whether all tasks were completed. If issues are outstanding I expect him to spell them out in a journal entry, make an entry about fixing them, and make another entry when they are completed..
House Rules - David makes note of house rules and protocols, logging them for future reference. Rules and protocols include no-talk times, speak only when spoken to, no sitting in my chair, no arguing.my orders are to be carried out immediately, women are to be refereed to a 'Ma'am', and numerous others. Journal entries serve to refresh David's memory, ensuring things are done like I want without getting me me involved.
How-to - Clean the living room, clean the the bathrooms, fold laundry, iron a pleated skirt, and so on. These Journal entries make sure that chores are done to my expectations with out getting me involved. These Journal entries make sure that chores are done to my expectations with out getting me involved.
Important Dates - David keeps a list of women in the family with their birthdays, anniversaries David started started sending cards to women in the family on their special days. They love it and so does David.
A Journal is a very useful tool that a woman can use to manage her FLR.
Debbie
Dear Ms. Debbie,
ReplyDeleteYour comments are wonderful! Female Domination, is such a beautiful thing. Your postings take my breath away. I just love this?
My mother uses David every day for routine chores - cleaning, dusting, ironing - and whatever else comes up such as her wanting to be chauffeured some where. Three of my girlfriends each use him one day a week for household chores.
So wonderful to serve not only You, but other Women.
Thank you,
A poet
Do you do a journal for him? That way he would know your thoughts as it relates to the relationship and how you see the relationship going in the future.
ReplyDelete