Wednesday, July 6, 2022

Thoughts and Etiquette on Commenting

I've been enjoying the discussions going on in the comments of the last few posts. It is great to see new people chiming in and it is fantastic to hear different view points and also to read about real experiences that reinforce the messaging in the post. I appreciate that most people are commenting in a respectful manner. There are a variety of approaches that can be used in a WLM and not every approach works for every one. The cuckolding post is a clear example where people have different opinions. It's ok to have different opinions and it is ok to disagree. I encourage those who disagree to continue the discussion to get a better understanding of the other person's viewpoint. We all learn from those types of discussions and perhaps pick up something new to try or become more open-minded and knowledgeable from the discussion.  Sometimes the discussions lead to a mutual understanding or that everyone was thinking the same thing but just did not express it properly in writing. Other times, you might have to agree to disagree because you really do have two different view points. There is no benefit to you going out of your way to try a prove someone wrong. When this type of agreement occurs, it it fine to acknowledge the disagreement and move on.

A few guidelines for commenting etiquette.

  • Do not personally attack someone else because of their opinion or idea. This is a sure fire way to have your comment deleted by me.
  • If you disagree with a comment, provide the reason why you disagree or what might be the better approach. 
  • Please do not give a very strong opinion on a topic that you have zero experience with. There have been quite a few people in the past who have commented with strong opinions on WLM, but whom have never been married. I'm sorry to say, but if you have no experience on a topic your opinion has zero weight with me. Those who have experience on the topic can immediately see the flaws in such an opinion, so don't be that person that gives opinions on something you have no experience with. I am not saying that you can not comment, but your comments should be about trying to understand the topic, or asking questions, and getting clarifications.
  • If you comment as Anonymous please provide some context about yourself:
    • We want to know if you are a male, female, sissy, etc.  Make up a name that clearly identifies your gender. This also helps us to connect your comments together when you make multiple comments. If there are three anonymous comments, I don't know if it is three different people or all the same person. 
    • Let us know if you are submissive or dominant and if you are in a relationship. Provide any relevant information about your situation that relates to your comment. It's hard to answer a question or respond to a comment when there is no context about why you are asking the question or making the comment. For example, a submissive male who disagrees with spanking is very different than a non-submissive male who disagrees with spanking.
I share all this information to encourage productive comments and discussions on this blog and to try to eliminate the bad habits. It's is a wonderful thing when the comments on a post become more enlightening than the post itself and I love that it happens many times on this blog. I have learned quite a bit from your comments and have picked up a few great idea from the comments. In my early years of WLM, I appreciated the people who shared their real life experiences and advice because it helped me distinguish between what was fantasy versus what was reality and practical, and it also reassured me that I was not alone in my challenges and concerns. Please continue to share your experiences and advice so that others may learn.

To sum it all up, it is most productive for everyone if comments are used to ask questions, gain understanding on the topic, share advice and experiences, and express educated opinions about the topic. Instead of looking for the negative, look for the positive and how you can advance the discussion.

-Mz Kaylee


23 comments:

  1. Mz, Kaylee,
    These are very sensible, workable and, (unfortunately) needed. Many of the comments made are balanced, thoughtful and clearly based on experience rather than unmoored opinion or plain bias. A few, but a few too many, are not constructive or simply negative. I do in particular take exception to those wholly unsigned even by a pseudonym, Seeking anonymity on the internet is a reasonable act, but civil discourse requires some sort of personal signature. If one is so ashamed or repulsed by their own comment, they don’t want to sign it, then maybe they shouldn’t make that comment at all

    Thanks for addressing this issue and for your efforts to keep this blog both lively and civil. I also enjoy the guest posts from time to time, illustrating as they do the diversity in the female led relationship
    Alan

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, Mz Kaylee, for your positive leadership on this important blog. It is clear that You are trying to provide a welcoming forum for diverse discussion on the specific topic of Fem Dom relationships. Unaccepting, hurtful, and ignorant comments by anonymous trolls should be deleted, as you’ve been doing. And please, as Mz Kaylee has asked, take the time to complete a profile if you plan to post comments with any frequency. Edwin

    ReplyDelete
  3. It seems to me like some of these anonymous posters -- and it all may be the same guy -- are just trying to get a rise out of the women on here. He must get off on that. I have fallen for it at least once. I am no longer responding to unsigned comments.
    Trina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that having Trina, A.J., and Debbie adding their guest posts, and comments has been a great contribution, and enhancement of the blog. So anonymous commenters purposely becoming argumentative to discourage them from participating is quite pathetic. Is it possible to disable the 'anonymous' function so a person is forced at a minimum to have to at least put in a fake name? My third point pertains to Debbie's recent guest post. If she, and her husband are content, what does it matter to me? Their marriage doesn't affect me at all. My wife's orders, and demands are what affect me.
      (Edward)

      Delete
  4. Deleting someone’s comments because they disagree with yours is the most pathetic of all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do not delete comments that disagree with my opinions. I've clearly stated in the above post that I encourage discussion of different opinions.

      Delete
  5. Such thoughtful and helpful tips, rules, and suggestions. I wish more folks who run blogs were like you, Ma'am. Thank you!
    Robert, a submissive husband

    ReplyDelete
  6. One who can’t tell the difference between disagree and disagreeable hasn’t learned to read very well. Maybe they don’t sign their comments because they haven’t learned to write either. Now that would be pathetic.
    Alan

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  7. Maybe this is not the site to get information for a submissive man who is is very "vanilla" in his tastes. I am one who believes heavily in monogamy and very heavily in loving relationships (i.e. no punishments either physical or mental where any disagreements are handled by an adult conversation). I was looking at if there was good information along those lines to share with my girlfriend without any of the cuckolding, physical disciplining. Just information on how to let her leadership flow. I am scared to show her a website that is not monogamous and loving in nature. I do not want to go down those "rabbit holes". If any of you have suggestions on those kind of resources it would be appreciated. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you have made a similar comment multiple times and a few people have responded. I am not sure what exactly you are looking for but ,my relationship is monogamous and my relationship is loving so you can have both in a FLR. You are not going to find a website that is everything you want. You/your girlfriend need to sort through content and decide what is right for you. If you are nervous about the topics here, then maybe you are not submissive. What makes you think you are submissive?

      Delete
    2. Maybe the problem is I am trying to make this relationship style wholesome/modest when I really need to remold myself into an existing relationship style that is already wholesome/modest. So it is better to change myself to find a relationship style that is wholesome enough for me. Signing Off. Thanks for the discussion you were able to offer

      Delete
    3. Your comment seems to imply that physical discipline precludes a loving relationship. If you have been abused either as a child or in a previous adult relationship, I do understand that conclusion. But as many men in female led relationships that do include corporal punishment can tell you, there is often an abundance of love expressed and felt both in administering physical punishment and submitting to it. Whether physical discipline is part of a loving relationship depends on the two people involved and their needs, but loving discipline far from being an oxymoron, is a cherished reality in many female led relationships
      Alan

      Delete
    4. Don't get hung up on the labels. There are many variations of each style but you do need to think through what you want and have an honest and open discussion with your partner about what you want. There is nothing wrong with finding an article that appeals to you and sharing it with her and pointing out the specific items that you desire and the items that you do not desire. However, you need to make it a two-way conversation. Her needs and desires are important. You need to find the happy medium that works for both of you. Start with a small change and then build on that.

      Delete
    5. I spent 30 seconds searching and saw many articles about FLR that might be of interest to you and apparently don't include punishment, humiliation, cuckolding, etc. Here is one:
      https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://hernorm.com/female-led-relationship/&ved=2ahUKEwjTv-Gcx_D4AhXCtoQIHcv0CRcQFnoECAoQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2ZzHPg_vJN_WZEuFNgUvZ-
      Trina

      Delete
  8. Appreciate that Ms Kaylee started and continues this blog. As I see, it that can be a challenge from time to time. It’s very informative about a type of relationship that is not main stream and at times difficult to fully understand even when your living it. As with all relationships they all have their individual dynamics that may work for some but not for all. Thanks to the guest posts and everyone for sharing your experiences as that’s how e all learn.
    MrLois

    ReplyDelete
  9. There must be sites where feminists discuss how they lead vanilla marriages. In my understanding, many marriages where the wife earns significantly more than the husband become FLRs without any kink.
    I also am grateful to Mz Kaylee for this site.
    Trina

    ReplyDelete
  10. It appears that the Elise Sutton website is no more. I read in the past year that she was unwell. I used to enjoy reading some of the real-life posts on there, especially from Women who made the move in their marriages from vanilla to Femdom.

    I hope Elise is well. I have no idea of her age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her book Female Domination is a classic. She is amazing.

      Delete
  11. Just doing laundry and housework today while my wife is at the beach with her girlfriends. I’m sure she will be tired when she gets home, but maybe if I do a good job she will go out to dinner with me. Or maybe she will let me pleasure her. I get excited just thinking about her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about:

      'Doing the laundry and housework as ordered today whilst my Mistress is at the beach with Her Girlfriends. She might be tired when She gets home but if i do a good job maybe She will take me out to dinner. Or maybe She will reward me in other ways? i get excited just thinking about my Mistress.'

      I am not having a go at you Anonymous. I am just using your post of an example of how to think differently - how to change your mindset - when thinking of yourself as a submissive or slave and of your Wife as your Mistress and Owner. They do say that the Devil is in the detail. Language can be very powerful not just in changing how you think but also how your perceive yourself and your Mistress in your physical interactions.

      What do you think? Am I talking nonsense? Or is this perhaps one of the many twines that make up the strands of the ropes that can enslave a man's mind as he becomes a slave to his Mistress?

      Delete
  12. Mz Kaylee,
    I suggest a topic of specific instances where wives have turned what the husband once considered a right into a privilege that requires permission and often must be earned. Being allowed to cum is the most obvious. We all do that. But aren't there many others? Yes, it's a privilege for him to go out with friends, a privilege for him to spend money, a privilege for him to have a day without chores, a privilege for him to have intercourse, etc. And how about the more unusual ones? My husband is balding and he asked me recently what I thought of him shaving his head. I took a day to think about it and then I said, "Yes, you are right. Body hair on men is a privilege, not a right. You are going to remove all of it, head to toe!" Then we had an incredible erotic session in which he stripped naked and I helped him shave his entire body! Lathered head to toe with shaving cream in the shower stall and spraying him off with cold water. It was so fun for us both, and I let him cum as a reward at the end.
    Trina

    ReplyDelete
  13. How do you handle it when you get feelings of wanting to quit the relationship because things have gone too far and she has exerted her influence so much I am afraid to confront her other than to leave the relationship. A soon to be former submissive man.

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  14. Just talk to her. No other way around it.

    ReplyDelete

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