Commonalities Among Submissive Men (by Karl)

Below is a post from Karl, another new guest contributor. Karl raises some interesting questions and thoughts on FLR.  I'd love to hear from all of you on what you think about his observations and how would you respond to some of his questions.   -Kaylee

Commonalities Among Submissive Men 

Within a relationship that eventually turns to FLR, I believe there is a common thread in the men.  For me, the sexual part is somehow tied with my well-being and is at the root of my unending desire to serve my wife who I view as my Queen and Earthly Goddess.  However, it only works if she behaves like a Goddess.  I have wrestled with this my entire life, because my spouse, like most women, had no idea this is “a thing”, i.e. that is submissive men that would prefer a FLR.

How many men are "wired" this way (sexually submissive and/or just submissive to their wives) and to what degree is the wiring nature versus nurture.  Are (most or many) men who are naturally submissive born this way, is it a by-product of environment, parenting, personality traits, etc.?   There seems to be very little professional studies on the FLR relationships, dominant wives or sub husbands.  This might lead one to the conclusion that it is uncommon.  However, there are a few clues that it may be more natural and pervasive than meets the eye:

Mz. Kaylee’s approach is perfectly in tune with me, and it would appear from the comments throughout the posts that other men feel the same.  Since the “tools of the trade” Mz. K addresses throughout her blog work pretty much universally on most sub males, it seems likely to me that this wiring is at least somewhat common.  It is almost eerie how similar sub males are and what they truly want from their Goddess wives.

From what I have observed on this blog and other similar here are some commonalities of sub men who would thrive in an FLR.  Speaking for myself these are all applicable:

·         Probably professionally successful, self motivated and neutral if not dominant or alpha outside of the home.

·         Crave discipline (spanking) but are not necessarily masochists.

·         Crave direction, rules and structure from their wife or significant other.

·         Want to be feminized and/or “forced” to wear panties, etc. but are not cross-dressers or transgender.

·         Would like to be penetrated by their wives but are not gay

·         Pleasing the wife sexually is more important then their own release.

·         Pleasing their wife by completing chores she requires is a top priority

·         Orally pleasing the wife is a spiritual experience.

·         Loves to kiss her ass passionately and with reverence.

·         The more she requires the better especially if it comes with some teasing along the way.

It may appear that there are not a lot of women and men who would enjoy the benefits of an FLR, but since our culture is deeply patriarchal, men are forced to act a certain way or face extreme ridicule.  Women are also trained from a young age that they should be submissive to men.  There is a lot to overcome to get a lifestyle reversal of roles.

Men joke all of the time about the wife being in charge. That is ok, as long as you mask it in a joke and all the other guys laugh. That seems almost universal among men, i.e. joke around about it, but then act like a macho man and try to let everyone know you are the boss, so you are not viewed as pussy whipped.  

I wonder if a culture was such that men were taught from a young age that they will grow up, ask for a lady’s hand in marriage, and then commit to a FLR, would that feel natural to most people?

I also wonder if a young woman understood and was taught essentially what Mz. K is teaching on her blog, how successful she would be at getting a man to commit to a lifetime of obedience and servitude? I am guessing she would have no trouble attracting a dedicated sub husband to serve her for life. Taken the next step further, what if most women just expected a vow of obedience and a FLR based marriage, what would happen?

I have also wrestled with the sexual nature of an FLR. I feel bad that without the sexual component I would not choose to just obey my Goddess. I have answered this question in two ways.  Why would anyone give up freedom and commit to serving another person if there was nothing in it for them? Since men are designed to desire sex constantly, if possible, why not take this incredible driving force and channel it into serving women and bringing peace to men?

The truth is most men masturbate and watch porn to do something with the sexual energy.  If you think about, that is a tremendous waste. Even if a man is not a sub he should still practice retention because it builds our energy and our life force. 

It just turns out that male sexuality is a constant and so understanding it and channeling it is just common sense. If it turns out the man is sexually submissive than finding a dominant woman who understands all of this is truly special.

The ultimate reward for a submissive male, who is in an FLR, is something called subspace. Subspace is an amazing feeling of bliss, peace and tranquility that appears to me can only be achieved by a sub who truly gives himself to his Goddess.  Given how amazing it is, how is it not common knowledge or even addressed in main stream?

My guess is about 10% of men would eagerly submit to a woman in the context of a FLR if she knew what she was doing.  My suspicion is the only reason that number is not closer to 80% is our culture, and a lack of understanding of sexuality – particularly retention (orgasm control).

I would venture something like 2% of women would easily take to an FLR if offered the chance.  However, if they truly understood all of the benefits for both parties and the culture were different that number would also be about 80%.

The bottom line is I think an FLR is more in tune with nature, but culturally were in too deep to let it blossom.

What do you think?

KL

 

Guest Post Submissions

I am so happy that I am receiving submissions for guests posts. As you know, I struggle with publishing my posts on a regular basis. It is great to have more frequent updates of content on the blog and to have views from different people.  I encourage all of you to comment on the guest posts. It can be discouraging for writers when they spend time to write a post and very few people comment on it. Your comments, always motivate me to write more. I love the discussions, the simple thank yous,  and when people share how my posts have helped them or given them ideas to apply in their own marriage. Please keep the comments coming.

My hope is that others will be inspired to submit a guest post and that we get a few people that continue to post on a regular basis. There have been some recent discussions on Cuckolding. It would be great to hear from somebody who has experience with this. I would love to hear about things like how the dynamic works in your relationship, how it started, the emotional impact, etc. Also an area of interest of mine, which I have little expertise on is chastity devices. It would be great to have someone submit a post on this.

For those who want to submit a post, here are a few guidelines:

• Send to MzKaylee101@gmail.com 
• Write it in a format that  I can publish on the blog; include a title and your name at the bottom. Your are welcome to publish it under a fake name so that you remain anonymous.  Just let me know what name to use. Do not write your post as a letter to me.
• Run spell check before sending
• Any topic that supports FLR is welcome. I will not publish posts that criticize or talk negatively about FLR. My blog is not intended to be a debate on FLR. However, posts that discuss frustrations or challenges within the FLR are encouraged as these will lead to good discussions that we can all learn from.
• Things that make a good post:
• Stick to just a few key points or themes in your post. Too many topics and you can confuse readers and dilute the message your are trying to convey. You are welcome to submit multiple posts so don't feel you have to cover everything in one post
• Provide specific examples. This helps people relate to the concepts your are writing about
• Different things you can write about on your topic: Why is it important to you, how did you get started in it, how does it benefit (or not benefit) your relationship, what is the emotional impact to the relationship, and advice to readers. Feel free to pose questions to readers.

-MzKaylee

Another Talent of My Wonderful Husband (by AJ)

I very often sing ecstatic praises of my husbands talented tongue in my many comments. Some women may have come to think that this is all he has to offer me in our relationship. I just wanted to add another comment about another one of his more useful FLR induced skills that I have come to enjoy and draw upon very regularly in our relationship….My husband is quite the masseuse as well! 

Whether it's easing the kinks from my poor tired neck, massaging my aching bunions J  or giving me his special full body massage, he is equally good at providing me heavenly provided renditions of all of these massages and I take avail of his skills here almost nightly as well. Like his tongue, these are also honed skills. Developed through trial and error, repetition, and many a wifely coached session. In the evenings when we return from our visits to the gym, one of his expected duties is to provide me with whatever type of massage I may request from him. Some time its just me sitting down on the floor in front of the couch and getting a nice neck massage. Often, it’s me laying on the couch with my feet in his pantied lap while he slowly massages away while we watch some tv or talk.

At least once a week, usually on Saturdays (sometimes Sundays as well – usually rolled into his discipline sessions), I receive a full-blown full body massage from him. We have a heated massage table in our bedroom and his job is to get that nice and preheated for me. While it’s being prepped, I enjoy a nice hot bubble bath that my husband has drawn for me. My husband dries me off with my fluffy towel following my bath, and I then lay myself down on the table. Usually I like my husband to be either naked (minus his ever-present device) or just dressed in his panties. I usually decide which of those two on the fly right before the massage begins. I like seeing him both ways. It always nice seeing the front of his panties get increasingly soaked through with fresh precum as he works his massage magic when he’s wearing those, and it’s also nice to see his bared straining locked cock leaking a slow and ever-present drizzle of pre-cum from his device when he is not wearing them as well. Both excite me so its whatever flips my boat most that particular evening. Regardless, we usually start with me on my stomach and he works me down starting at my neck and then works his way down to my toes. He usually just quickly covers my glutes on the way down to my toes. But once he’s done with my feet, I always have him return to my butt and give me some extended deep tissue massage there. Heaven! He works his fingers deeply into my cleft as he works all of the stress out of my beautiful tiny and perfectly proportioned posterior (exerting authors privilege here J ). I have him work his fingers lightly around my entire anus and eventually he slowly finger fucks my asshole as I lie there completely relaxed with my sensations being fully in tune with what his finger is doing to me down there. I like this for many reasons. First, it’s a wonderful feeling for me. When your really relaxed, something up your tush like a nice warm oily finger can feel pretty wonderful and sensual. But secondly, I do this as an excruciating tease to my husband. I am fully aware that the entire time he has his finger there, he is in reality fantasying that’s its his cock going in and out of there. It during this time when I notice his attempted hardness and seepage peak. I love seeing his torture as this scene unfolds. Finally, when he has me sufficiently relaxed and loosened up down there, I usually push my ass up in the air and present it to his mouth and tongue. He then goes to town with his other heavenly induced oral skills and his wife is in full court bliss. At this point his cage is just about bursting from all of his attempted expansion. I will finally have mercy on him and flip over onto my back and he can now massage my front.

He beings with my temples and slowly massages my temples with a nice circular motion of his fingertips. He then works down to my breasts and softly and gently massages them. His fingers pinch and pull gently on my nipples as he works his magic there. I usually will have him suck on those briefly after they have been properly relaxed by his warm hands. Next, he moves on to my legs and feet (we save the main event for last always). He slowly and deeply massages my thighs, calves and ankles. He pulls and kneads until they are a warm mass of pudding. Eventually, I will signal him with my fingers by pointing those to my pussy and he knows to move on to the main event. He begins by massaging the entire mons area, rubbing and pressing with his palm and fingertips there until I am thoroughly warmed there. Next, he takes the edge of his palms and slowly draws them between my legs and pussy lips gently pulling and stretching them with each repeated stroke of his hand. He alternates with his left and right hand until I am absolutely drenched down there both with oils and with my more natural lubrication. Next, he takes each lip between his fingers and gently kneads the skin between them. He pulls on and gently stretches each lip. I am in absolute heaven. Finally, I will signal him once again with a double tap of my fingers on my lips and that’s his cue to put his own lips to work there. I usually will skootch my butt down to the end of the table at this point where my pussy is just dangling on the edge of the table. I pull my legs up and open and allow him plenty of room to put his lips and tongue where I need it most. He works his magic there. By the time he is done, I usually have his head pressed tight in a vice lock with my feet, into and against my lips. If I could physically insert his head in there, he probably would be deep inside me at this point as I have him so tightly pressed there. He usually will be able to bring me off to at least one orgasm as he does his wonderful thing there. At this point his cock is in full drip mode. When I’ve had enough with his tongue, I will signal him to come close, so I can gather whatever precum there is bubbling or trailing a lazy string from the tip of his cock cage and gather that onto my finger. I then press this finger into my pouting mouth and slowly and deliberately suck it clean. There is something extra special about taking this deprived essence from my insanely horny and worked up husband and to tease him by slowly eating it up in front of him. Again, as I do this, I know he is fully fantasying that it’s not my finger going into my mouth, but his erect and freed cock. It’s not pre-cum going in my mouth buts its his entire hot load of denied cum shot in there. Dream on hubby and enjoy your mind fuck present from me.

When the massage is complete, I’m both wonderfully relaxed and fully sexually depleted. I have him cover me with a heated sheet and I usually will take a little blissful nap at this point. My husband savors the tastes still lingering on his lips and then goes about with the rest of his chores for the evening while I sleep away.

I guess this ended up fill circle with his talented tongue once again, but just wanted everyone to know he has more than that in his bag of tricks.

 -AJ

Cuckolding- An expression of Power in a FLR (by John D)

Very special thanks to John D for being the first guy to submit a guest post. Thanks so much John! 
-Mz Kaylee


Cuckolding- An expression of Power in a FLR

Men are born with a core desires to please and serve the woman of his heart. Unfortunately
most couples succumb to societal expectations and never openly acknowledge or formalize Her
natural position of authority . It is not surprising that as women grow in power outside the
home that men are openly expressing their desires of submission inside the home . This desire
for submission is too often expressed in only the sexual sense and I regret that many
mainstream women considering a Female Led Relationship ( FLR ) are completely turned off by
the male fantasy components and therefore never experience the joys of female
empowerment. I believe for a FLR relationship to truly work the woman must have real power
in the relationship that goes far beyond the male fantasy leveL I live in such a relationship but it
has taken some time and good communication to get to this point . Strangely ,in the beginning
my wife was willing to play out some of the fantasy elements in the bedroom but was very
reluctant to actually take a real life position of authority in our marriage. She is still growing and
maturing but it is very clear that she is now in control. Her previous marriage ended at the
hands of an unfaithful husband which caused her great pain and a tremendous loss of
confidence Her interest in adapting our marriage to a FLR grew quickly when she began to
realize that husbands in a FLR rarely stray or even show interest in other women . I believe the
added security of a FLR was the driving force behind her decision to accept the concept and
completely embrace the dominant role in our marriage.

I recently discovered a popular physiologist by the name of , Ester Perel on u-tube while
researching the concept of “ cuckolding “ in a FLR. Although Miss Perel never brings up this
topic she has become very popular by challenging the basis of absolute and total monogamy in
marriage . She brings to point that It is rare for couples to admit that they have fantasies that
include other partners and even more rare for a marriage partner to admit that they actually
desire another individual. This is somewhat ridiculous when you consider that everyone has
fantasies and desires that go beyond our partners . Miss Perel questions the end game dynamic
of divorce that is part of the “ cheating “ effect and looks deeper at the motive. I consider her to
be absolutely brilliant and find her very entertaining.Ultimately she concludes that affairs
generally happen as a result of boredom rather than an actual loss of love. It would seem that
women and men are equally looking for a way to “ feel alive” and add back the excitement that
they first felt in their relationship. Ms Perel refers to couples that are willing to challenge the
traditional relationship in all it’s failures as “pioneers”. She does not support open relationships
but rather challenges couples to be more open and honest about their feeling inside the
relationship while exploring and expanding the traditional boundaries of marriage. I find this to
be very interesting because I believe that couples engaging in a FLR are truly pioneers in that
they have found a dynamic that brings back the excitement that all couples long for.

I have never accepted the idea of “ cuckolding “ as being part of a FLR but I have noticed that as
my wife becomes more comfortable in her dominance she is also experiencing a new level of
attention from the men she encounters. I cannot possibly explain the roller coaster of emotions
that this attention causes me and this is the reason for my research. It seems that her position
of authority is taking us in a direction that I never considered. I still do not embrace cuckolding
in its entirety and cannot imagine actually watching my wife with another man. However, she
recently began communicating with an old school flame and actually saw him on a recent
business trip to another city . She has not shared any details and I have no idea if they were
intimate. I believe this was more of a “ taste test” with plausible deniability to gauge my
reaction in real life . We are deeply in love and neither of us want to endanger our relationship.
I found the experience to be unsettling but still exciting in a way I cannot describe. When she
returned home it seemed that she had regained her youth found a new level of Joy and
excitement in her life. It is strange to consider but it really goes along with what Miss Perel
teaches. Somehow embracing a deeper level of submission that includes letting go of my
expectations of her fidelity has enhanced our love and relationships more than I could have
ever imagined.

I know for many, my ideas seem crazy but how crazy is the idea of entering into a traditional
marriage when you consider that over 40% of men and women engage in secret affairs within
their relationships. These affairs typically end the relationship and the cycle of love and deceit
begins all over again. Maybe women were never designed for monogamy ! Maybe the ideal
man that provides her family and security over a lifetime was always a compromise to her
sexuality . Maybe the man loses desire and respect for the woman he possesses and enters the
chase again in hopes of finding that woman he can never truly own! My life experience would
suggest that these truths apply to nearly all couples to some greater or lesser degree. I begin
each day competing for my wife’s attention and we have never been happier.

I have learned from Miss Perel that I have always been a pioneer. I love to explore new ideas
and experience excitement in all parts of my life . I hope my comments will encourage all that
read my words to challenge “normal” and start looking at each day as a new adventure with the
person you love. Explore the FLR concept in reality rather than fantasy. It can truly be a
practical way to add excitement to your relationship in a way you never believed was possible.

-John D

Bonding Moment in FLR (Guest Post by AJ)

Big thanks to AJ for here continued contributions.  Enjoy her next post......

Bonding Moment in FLR (Guest Post by AJ)

Last night I experienced an incredibly tender bonding type moment with my husband. After our usual evening pre-bed sex (oral from him) I sensed that he needed something a bit more from me. When you take charge of your man’s orgasms and are the one deciding when he can orgasm and how he can orgasm, you become very in tune with his body and emotional state. Last night was 63 days since his last orgasm, and I can always tell when he is beginning to struggle a bit emotionally with all of those mixed feelings that he gets when he begins to retain for me for longer periods of time. I think his hormones begin to really kick in and make him a bit more on edge. Physically, I monitor his pre-cum seepage and whenever he is sexually struggling with denial, I can see a general uptake in the amount of pre-cum he produces. His horniness just oozes out so to speak when he is preoccupied with his state of chastity. Also, now that he is in chastity, his female side can tend to show itself quite a bit more than before we were practicing FLR. When he is feeling a bit emotional, I notice him tearing up quite a bit when we watch romantic movies or engage in other emotional activities as a couple. Even the abused/abandoned[AJ1]  dog commercials can cause him some moments of embarrassment. His eyes begin to glisten and turn red, and he tries to hide this from me by getting up and walking out of the room or pretending he is rubbing his tired eyes or something like that. He is really embarrassed to be so emotional in front of me which makes it very beautiful to me. I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel incredibly tender towards him when I see him watering up and letting down some of his manly barriers in front of me. These emotional moments seem to peek for him when he is particularly struggling with his chastity periods and I can easily pick up on those moments now. Last night was one of those times. I sensed that he was in one of those struggles.

After going down on me very slowly for a wonderful period of time last night, I orgasmed hard once and felt that I had enough, but I knew that he still needed something a bit more from me. I took his still wet face and guided his mouth to my breasts. I occasionally allow my husband to “nurse” from me and I view this as an extra special bonding type activity which exists between us and which we (I for sure) both periodically enjoy. There is something incredibly intimate and primal in letting a man slowly and gently nurse upon your breasts. I stroke his hair very gently and he nurses away like a little baby. Sorry if that seems a bit weird, but there it is, and I can really enjoy it from time to time. I don’t know how to describe it, its not really a sexual thing but its very intimate when we do it. It touches me differently than sex and I just feel a bit very blissful and warm as he suckles me.  Anyhow after a period of gently nursing, my husband began to quietly cry, I could feel his flow of wet tears on my breasts and felt his little sobs as it went on.  It was very beautiful and touching. I continued to stroke his hair and let him just have a good little cry. I felt incredibly tender towards him as this unfolded and I even began to cry a bit myself. For a while we were just both quietly crying together. It was just an incredibly deep intimate bonding moment between us as this occurred. Afterward, I dried his and my face with my t-shirt, which was lying next to the bed, and we just had a little talk.

I asked him how he was doing with his chastity and if that had anything to do with what just happened. He explained that he was having a bit of a hard time with it at the moment. 63 days is considerable, but he routinely goes much longer so I know this is something he can handle. Occasionally he just gets like this and needs a little extra encouragement from me to continue going the distance and getting over these occasional little emotional hurdles that crop up. I promised him that I would give him a very good pegging some time soon and that this would help him to deal with the current situation. I also mentioned to him once again that I am very fine with and completely open to his “orgasming” during our sex when it occurs spontaneously and without any sort of physical contact to his penis. He had one of these “mind fuck orgasms” a few months ago and it was wonderful experience for us both. 

I am trying to encourage him to have more of these types of orgasms. I will not count these against him, so they can become a good outlet for him if he is able to develop that ability to orgasm in that fashion. He visibly seemed to brighten up after I touched on these sexual outlets which I was offering to him. He is extremely loathe to admit it to me, but he really does get great sexual satisfaction from being anally stimulated. It’s the special moments like this where he drops his guard and we both can see through his little denials. It’s very embarrassing to him, but there it is. I turned off the lights and we just continued to cuddle with me gently stroking his butt and we both eventually just fell asleep. It was really beautiful experience. Today when we have our weekly disciplinary session, I think I will ease his tensions a bit with a nice solid pegging and he will be good to go again for a good period of time. I really want to stretch him out to 6 months this time around before I give him his next orgasm – we’ll see. He can do it, and wants to do it, but he just periodically has these little emotional outbursts which just need a little TLC to get him over his little humps. 

Anyhow had to share. Without FLR my husband and I would never have experienced this special moment and the many other moments similar to this. It just continues to amaze me how our relationship continues to evolve and how enjoyable it has become of the both of us. It took us quite a while to get here but its proven to be a wonderful ride for us both.

-AJ

Thomas's Lucky Month

November proved to be a lucky month for Thomas in terms of orgasms.  Typically he goes 6 - 8 weeks between orgasms. Sometimes it can be 3+ months. In November he got two within a week.  Lucky boy! Not only did he get two, but one was during sex with him on top. It was just one of those nights where I was in the mood for good old fashioned sex. The only hint of my dominance during that moment was when he asked for permission to cum.  As much as I love being in control and denying his orgasms, there is something special when we orgasm together. It feels incredible and brings us closer together. For him to be on top and orgasm is a very rare moment.  The last time it happened I posted about it.  I searched back through my blog and found the post dated December 2015. Wow! Three years ago. I can't believe it has been that long.

It happened both times because I wanted it. He had asked one time before if he could have normal sex with me, without any restriction on his orgasm. My response to him then was no because he gave up that right when he agreed to submit to me and he had to accept that always. Under the most recent circumstance, I wanted it and so it happened.

The rarity of it makes it even more special and thrilling when it happens. He has had orgasms during sex since Dec 2015 but only with me on top and in complete control.  Those orgasms are pretty rare for him too. Probably one or two a year I'm guessing.

I have read where some women never allow their husband to orgasm during sex or even allow them to have sex at all. I would think this is a likely scenario for women who cuckold their men. I have to confess, the thought of that (no orgasms for him during sex ever) has crossed my mind and I think it is a hot fantasy. However, I do enjoy granting that privilege every now then. There is the obvious direct pleasure that we both get from it but I also like that it reminds him of what he is missing when he is being denied. I like to think that when he feels that incredible pleasure, it makes it harder for him the next time he is denied and reminds him of the ultimate reward that can occur for his continued obedience to me. It is part of the mind fuck with dominating him.

Mixing up the frequency of orgasms also adds to the tease. He never knows how long it will be until his next orgasm. When he is on edge and begging to cum, he never know whether I'll say yes or no.  Apparently in the early years of our FLR, I was somewhat predictable as to when I would cave and allow him an orgasm. However, several years ago he told me that he has no idea when I will say yes. He admitted there were a few times where he was desperate and was sure I would allow him an orgasm but I did not.  He confessed that he loved when that happened. I love it too! It is fun having that control over him and teasing him like that.

As noted above, I tend to deny him for long periods of time. After awhile I feel this becomes easy for him. He gets into a mental zone where he always expects me to deny his orgasm. That is why I like to mix it up a bit every so often. When he suddenly has a few orgasms in a row, it disrupts his mental state. When that happens I can tell the denial becomes challenging again for him.  He gets to the edge quicker and I can sense in him a bigger hope that I will say yes versus him expecting me to say no. This keeps things fun and exciting for both of us. It is also good to keep him on his toes, which helps me maintain a higher level of control and authority over him..

One final thought on the topic is that even though I let Thomas be on top and thrust, I never felt it took away from my dominance and control over him. Sure he was enjoying it and was more the aggressor in that moment but his focus was on pleasuring me and as noted above, it happened because I wanted it to happen. He understood it was a special privilege for him.

I would love to hear from others who are in a FLR how the act of intercourse is handled.  Is it allowed?  Are there certain restrictions in place for him? Are there protocols or rituals that you occur each time you have sex?

-Mz Kaylee

The Many Styles of a Wife Led Marriage

It was nice to have some down-time over the Thanksgiving Holiday. With my spare time I decided to browse around on the internet to see what others are writing about on Wife Led Marriages (WLMs).  It's been a long time since I've done this. There are a few blogs that I keep up-to-date on but given the maturity of my WLM, there's less of a need for me to research the topic. Nowadays I rely on my husband, Thomas, to scan the internet for interesting articles to present to me. He's good a weeding out the nonsense and things that we've already incorporated into our WLM. It's also a great tease for him to read how other women are controlling and dominating their husbands. He's always horny after doing his research so it's a great way to tease him without me doing any of the work.

The downside is that he is no doubt filtering out things that may be of interest to me. Sometimes in the middle of all the nonsense you can find a little golden nugget idea. Therefore, every now and then I like to do research on my own. With my recent research I was pleasantly surprised to come across many women writing about their journey into WLM. It seems that more people are testing out the lifestyle or at least more are feeling comfortable writing about it. It's a great trend to see. 

In my reading, I notice many different styles and approaches to the WLM.  One person indicated that feminizing her husband was critical to the success of their WLM as it made her husband softer, compliant and more beautiful person. Shed advised other women to do it to their husband. Another person wrote about how having her husband consume her urine daily was a key part of their relationship as it was symbolic of her power over him and his submission to her. I know there are women who keep their husband as a cuckold and date other men. Some men are kept in chastity 24/7; some are forbidden to have intercourse and may only pleasure their wife with their tongue or through other means. Then there are the couples where there is very little kink and the husband simply enjoys serving his wife in non-sexual ways. I could go on and on about different styles and approaches to WLM.

So what is the right approach and style?  The answer is up-to you and depends on what resonates with both you and your spouse. Every couple is different and you have to find the style and techniques that work best for you. For women trying to figure out FLR//WLM, my advice is to read as much as you can and then first try the things that resonate with you. The lifestyle is different than a typical marriage so it is important to keep an open mind and be willing to try new things. Once you get comfortable with the things that resonate with you, then try something that sounds a little crazy or weird. You may be surprised at how much you like it once you give it a try.  If it does not work out, no big deal. Move on to the next crazy idea. When my husband first told me he wanted me to deny his orgasms and take control of when he can orgasm, I thought it was the craziest thing but I kept an open mind about it. Once I tried, I never looked back. Now it is a core part of our relationship.

If you keep an open mind and are willing to try new things you will find that your relationship with your husband will grow in a positive way and your interests and tastes begin to broaden over time. With me, there were things that I would never have considered doing early in the FLR but then as we evolved in our FLR, some of things suddenly became appealing. It took me awhile to warm up to the idea of punishing but overtime I understood the need for it and embraced the idea. Another example is the idea of making your husband wear panties.  Very weird to me when I first heard it but eventually I gave it a try and now it's a regular thing in our house as I have discovered it is a very effective tool for bringing out the submission in my husband. I've learned to never say "never" in a FLR. Overtime, your interests, desires, and needs change and are shaped by new adventures.

The reward for being adventurous and open minded and embracing WLM is a relationship with your husband that continues to grow and evolve and a relationship that grows stronger and brings you closer together.  We've been married for over 20 years and it never gets dull. We are very close and very much in love with each other. It is great situation to be in. I sincerely believe our relationship would not be this strong without WLM. If you are thinking about WLM or even curious about it, I highly recommend you give it a try. You have to experience it to understand it and you don't know what you are missing unless you give a try.

-Mz Kaylee