Big thanks to AJ for here continued contributions. Enjoy her next post......
Bonding Moment in FLR (Guest Post by AJ)
Last night I experienced an incredibly tender bonding type moment with my husband. After our usual evening pre-bed sex (oral from him) I sensed that he needed something a bit more from me. When you take charge of your man’s orgasms and are the one deciding when he can orgasm and how he can orgasm, you become very in tune with his body and emotional state. Last night was 63 days since his last orgasm, and I can always tell when he is beginning to struggle a bit emotionally with all of those mixed feelings that he gets when he begins to retain for me for longer periods of time. I think his hormones begin to really kick in and make him a bit more on edge. Physically, I monitor his pre-cum seepage and whenever he is sexually struggling with denial, I can see a general uptake in the amount of pre-cum he produces. His horniness just oozes out so to speak when he is preoccupied with his state of chastity. Also, now that he is in chastity, his female side can tend to show itself quite a bit more than before we were practicing FLR. When he is feeling a bit emotional, I notice him tearing up quite a bit when we watch romantic movies or engage in other emotional activities as a couple. Even the abused/abandoned[AJ1] dog commercials can cause him some moments of embarrassment. His eyes begin to glisten and turn red, and he tries to hide this from me by getting up and walking out of the room or pretending he is rubbing his tired eyes or something like that. He is really embarrassed to be so emotional in front of me which makes it very beautiful to me. I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel incredibly tender towards him when I see him watering up and letting down some of his manly barriers in front of me. These emotional moments seem to peek for him when he is particularly struggling with his chastity periods and I can easily pick up on those moments now. Last night was one of those times. I sensed that he was in one of those struggles.
After going down on me very slowly for a wonderful period of time last night, I orgasmed hard once and felt that I had enough, but I knew that he still needed something a bit more from me. I took his still wet face and guided his mouth to my breasts. I occasionally allow my husband to “nurse” from me and I view this as an extra special bonding type activity which exists between us and which we (I for sure) both periodically enjoy. There is something incredibly intimate and primal in letting a man slowly and gently nurse upon your breasts. I stroke his hair very gently and he nurses away like a little baby. Sorry if that seems a bit weird, but there it is, and I can really enjoy it from time to time. I don’t know how to describe it, its not really a sexual thing but its very intimate when we do it. It touches me differently than sex and I just feel a bit very blissful and warm as he suckles me. Anyhow after a period of gently nursing, my husband began to quietly cry, I could feel his flow of wet tears on my breasts and felt his little sobs as it went on. It was very beautiful and touching. I continued to stroke his hair and let him just have a good little cry. I felt incredibly tender towards him as this unfolded and I even began to cry a bit myself. For a while we were just both quietly crying together. It was just an incredibly deep intimate bonding moment between us as this occurred. Afterward, I dried his and my face with my t-shirt, which was lying next to the bed, and we just had a little talk.
I asked him how he was doing with his chastity and if that had anything to do with what just happened. He explained that he was having a bit of a hard time with it at the moment. 63 days is considerable, but he routinely goes much longer so I know this is something he can handle. Occasionally he just gets like this and needs a little extra encouragement from me to continue going the distance and getting over these occasional little emotional hurdles that crop up. I promised him that I would give him a very good pegging some time soon and that this would help him to deal with the current situation. I also mentioned to him once again that I am very fine with and completely open to his “orgasming” during our sex when it occurs spontaneously and without any sort of physical contact to his penis. He had one of these “mind fuck orgasms” a few months ago and it was wonderful experience for us both.
I am trying to encourage him to have more of these types of orgasms. I will not count these against him, so they can become a good outlet for him if he is able to develop that ability to orgasm in that fashion. He visibly seemed to brighten up after I touched on these sexual outlets which I was offering to him. He is extremely loathe to admit it to me, but he really does get great sexual satisfaction from being anally stimulated. It’s the special moments like this where he drops his guard and we both can see through his little denials. It’s very embarrassing to him, but there it is. I turned off the lights and we just continued to cuddle with me gently stroking his butt and we both eventually just fell asleep. It was really beautiful experience. Today when we have our weekly disciplinary session, I think I will ease his tensions a bit with a nice solid pegging and he will be good to go again for a good period of time. I really want to stretch him out to 6 months this time around before I give him his next orgasm – we’ll see. He can do it, and wants to do it, but he just periodically has these little emotional outbursts which just need a little TLC to get him over his little humps.
Anyhow had to share. Without FLR my husband and I would never have experienced this special moment and the many other moments similar to this. It just continues to amaze me how our relationship continues to evolve and how enjoyable it has become of the both of us. It took us quite a while to get here but its proven to be a wonderful ride for us both.
-AJ
Beautifully written. Enjoyed the glimpse into the most imporant aspect of an FLR - full intimacy that transcends sexual intimacy by itself.
ReplyDeleteAJ -
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful example of a good wife led situation. Really beautiful. I relate to it strongly. There is something wonderful about the "humbling" of the male...I think. I had not heard the term you used before "open orgasms". I have also been okay with my husband having those - no touching, no hands, no nothing. They can happen if he is really backed up and I have not allowed a release it a long time. I love it actually. The first time it happened (that I was aware of) - he had not orgasmed in weeks and weeks and was giving me oral (kneeling) as I sat in a chair. He just spasmed onto the floor. I also find the anal can be positive for him. I use my index finger on him as well as a strap on. Your perspective on all of that is very helpful to me. Thank you for this beautiful piece.
A very tender moment shared by couple in a solid relationship.
ReplyDeleteI can see that being pegged would be highly desirable if denied orgasm for long periods.
My wife my wife has pegged me a few times, but it never became a regular part of our sex life. I found it a bit uncomfortable, plus she never embraced it. We have recently discussed implementing it again. So Jessica and AJ, I need to ask, does it get easier if engaged frequently? Have you learned to enjoy it? How important is it to your FLR?
I enjoy it so much when couples share experiences where FLR brings them closer or results in a special emotional bonding experience. It shows that FLRs are truly special relationships and not just about kink and sex. I believe this is because the nature of FLRs is they enable couples to open up to each other and be honest. FLRs take intimacy to a whole new level and allow couples to be very comfortable with each other and confident in themselves. Thanks AJ for sharing this special moment.
ReplyDeleteRon I truly believe my husbands level of enjoyment is steadily increasing as his body adapts increasingly to this being a primary method of sexual satisfaction for him (physically speaking) He gets pegged way more often than his penis is ever engaged in any sort of direct stimulation, so it's a bit of a morphing process for him physically and mentally. His body and mind are being retaught so to speak to accept and enjoy this new form of stimulation. It's a mind over matter type thing. As he learns to disassociate anal play from negative experiences to positive ones his enjoyment factor really is going up. Same rules as for woman, plenty of lube and lots of warm up with smaller objects before you insert anything too big in there. My own enjoyment in pegging is not physical. Physically it's not doing anything for me. Sexually my enjoyment in the act is all mental. Mentally I love the exchange of power and receiving his submission as I peg him, that's my reward and joy in the pegging act. I love seeing the conflict in him as he struggles to mentally accept the fact that physically he is coming to enjoy being treated as a woman. That's very hot for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing AJ.
ReplyDeleteI find that pegging makes me feel quite submissive, it feels almost humiliating. I do however find the power exchange arousing. My wife Wants to include it in our FLR. Only once, in the half dozen times we tried it, did it feel good. Pegging isn’t something that can be done spontaneously, as preparation for it is required. She wants me quite clean beforehand.
AJ, was a chastity device his idea or yours? From what I have read, it is usually a male kink.
Ron pegging was mostly something I wanted to expand upon. Earlier on in our marriage, the pre flr days, we toyed with it very in frequently My husband wasn't able to get into it too much due to his mental discomfort and perception that "straight men" shouldn't be doing that. That was always the bottom line for him I believe. I think he has always felt a bit guilty and conflicted that he did/does enjoy the sensations and the submissiveness while getting penetrated. Most men seem to have a fear of penetration, as if that defines their masculinity somehow. Penetration shouldn't just be for a woman's enjoyment. I enjoy pushing this dilemma within my husband. Over time I have been slowly cracking the oyster in this regard, but he's still not fully there yet. It appeals strongly to my flr kink to push pegging with him. He's the one who pushed for flr in the relationship originally. I've just taken a great shining to it over the past couple of years and now that my appetite has been wetted, tools such as pegging and chastity are going to remain as central elements in our relationship. I enjoy the process which is unfolding as our sexual and nonsexual roles flip flop in the relationship. I enjoy my position of influence and dominance in making that happen. Sex is physical, but great sex is more mental than physical I believe. FLR/ pegging/chastity/etc. are all adding in all of those needed elements which take the mental and physical enjoyment of sex to a new level. The wonderful part of this all, especially for the woman, is that this truly does transcend sex, and that it forms the basis for the new roles within the relationship. It's no longer just kink and sex, it's what this has done to all aspects of our relationship which I love. I'm like an addict who can't get enough of her drugs now. I wish more woman could discover what I have discovered. It's the fear of the unknown and going against instilled gender roles which is holding many women back from a more enjoyable relationship.
ReplyDeleteHi AJ,
ReplyDeleteLike your husband, I too initiated for an FLR. I approached my wife about it 6 years ago.
I was researching the internet for ways to boost our intimacy and stumbled upon femdom.
It was a revelation how much it appealed to me. Continued research led me to FLRs.
You didn’t say, who in your marriage introduced the idea of a chastity device.
One thing that is common to all relationships of this type is male orgasm control
Also the statement you made regarding pegging, was “in frequently” suppose to be one word or two? I must admit that I enjoy your posts. It is nice to have another woman here sharing her experiences as she explores her new power role.