A Time For Change

In my last blog, I wrote about how New Year's is a good time to reflect upon your FLR and think about making changes for the new year.  I've got a head start on the New Year.  Call me inpatient but I could not wait for the New Year.  Both Thomas and I have been busy with work and other things lately, which has resulted in us not spending as much time together and not as focused on the Female Led aspects of the relationship.  My regular discipline sessions have been not so regular lately and I've been so tired at night that I'm usually in bed before Thomas gets to do his usual pampering of me.  While both of us miss these things, the good news is that the core of our FLR is intact and we both are anxious to spend more time together.  I am still the leader, and he obeys me.  He is keeping up with his routines and chores; although without my regular disciplines sessions a few things are slipping or not being done to my level of satisfaction.  So as the leader, I have taken a step back and decided to make a few changes to get us back on track.

I decided to make three changes.  First, I've inserted some control into the household finances.  Finances are one area that many femdom/FLR websites advise that the female take control over from men.   I have not done that in my marriage because Thomas is very good with finances and I trust him with our money.  I also love not having to think about bills.  He takes care of all the bills for me which is almost as good as being pampered. The reason I want to get involved in the finances now is more for fun.  Since this is an areas that he has control over (and he is a bit tight with the money) it will be fun taking some of that power from him.  I knew it would drive him deeper into submission to me and increase my control over him.  While I am doing this more for fun, I also know that this is one of those changes that will take our FLR relationship to a higher level.

The second change I made was to have him take over responsibility of food shopping.  I do all the cooking (and that will not change because I enjoy cooking) which is why I do the food shopping.   Frankly, I never trusted him to do the shopping. I know he would come home with the wrong things. However, the shopping has become more of a nuisance for me and so I've decided to make him do it to free up some of my time.  I decided to spend time training him on the food shopping.

The last change was around discipline.  With out busy schedules my every other week discipline sessions have not bee happening all of the tine.  Thomas is a very good slave husband for me but I find that without regular reminders and discipline he becomes forgetful and lazy.  I decided to eliminate the regular discipline sessions and institute a new technique which I call the discipline jar.  I will go into that more in my next post.

I decided to announce these changes to Thomas in classic domination style.  It was going to be a fun day for me and a mind blowing day for him.  I arranged for the kids to stay over night at my sisters.  I made my husband drive the kids to my sister's while I stayed home and prepared for the fun.  He of course had no idea what was in store for him.  All he knew was that we were having a date night together.

While he was gone I dressed for the part.  I put my hair into a bun, put on make-up , and perfume.Then I put on a garter belt and stockings and slipped on a black latex mini dress.  I do not wear this dress often, but when I do it drives him crazy.  For the occasion, I treated myself to a new pair of stiletto heels.  I also bought him a few new pairs of panties for the occasion.  I wrapped each pair in tissue paper and placed them into a pretty pink gift bag.  Then I poured myself a glass of wine and waited for him.  Wine helps relax me and put me in the mood.   My inhibitions run free after about two glasses.

When he walked in the door and saw me sitting in the living room in my latex dress, his jaw dropped and then he smiled with delight.  This was the reaction I expected.  He started to move toward me but I held my hand up and ordered him to stop and get naked.  His cock was hard even before all his clothes were off.  I expected this as well.

I made Thomas crawl to me and kiss my feet.  I could tell his mind already shifted into submissive mode.  The dress always has that effect on him. He knelt before me while I  drank my wine and teased his cock with my feet.  I wore no underwear and he was getting a clear view up my dress.  This was all part of the tease.  When I finished my glass of wine, I had him refill it and then kneel before me again.  I teased him a little more and then said the magic words, 'I think it's about time some things changed around here."

I've used those words before and he knows it means I am going to lay down new rules and he loves that.  It is like a fantasy come true for a submissive man.  I could almost feel him sink even deeper into submission, right before me.  If he were a dog, his tail would have been wagging with excitement.  I told him I bought a few gifts to celebrate the change.  I handed him the pink gift bag. The pink color of the bag was a dead giveaway of what was inside, but that's all part of the fun for me. As he unwrapped each pair of panties, I made him model them for me.  I commented on how pretty and sexy they were while I ran my hands over them and teased him.  By the last pair, he was so aroused he begged for an orgasm.  The answer was an obvious no.  I was pretty sure his mind was mush by now and he was in subspace.  I was also quite horny by then.  The last pair I told him to keep on.  They were white satin with pink bows.  So cute!

I pulled the panties down to his thighs and then grabbed his cock and led him to the bedroom.  In the bedroom I had him pull out all of his panties from his lingerie drawer and line them up neatly on the bed.  I had forgotten how many pairs he had.  I had him stand by the side of the bed and stare at his panty collection.  I hugged him from behind and teased his cock while I commented on how many panties he had.  I told him how girly he was and that his collection was even more sexy and pretty than my panties (and that was true).  I knew all this talk was arousing him and making him feel even more submissive.  My goal for the day was to totally turn his mind into mush. Since I got him three new panties, I picked out three old ones for him to throw away.  Then he neatly folded the rest and put them away.

By now, I was getting tired of wearing the latex dress.  I do not find it very comfortable.  I slipped out of it and layed next to him on the bed.   He spent some time pleasuring me and I teased him more.  Then I had him lay down and I teased him to the edge of orgasm several times.  If his mind was not mush before, I knew it was now.  It was the perfect time to bring up the financial. stuff.  While I lightly rubbed his cock, I asked if he was getting a raise soon.  He told me next month (I of course new that already).  Then I reminded him that the money he earned belonged to me and that it was not his money to spend; he agreed. I asked how much we was expecting to get.  When he told me I squeezed his cock warmly and told him how nice it was that he was earning more money for me.  Then I told him that when he got his raise, he was to show me the letter announcing his raise.  He would then immediately fill out a direct deposit form at work to have the amount of his raise deposited into my bank account each pay period.  I have a separate account which he does not have access to.  I rarely use it, but that is going to change :)

I told him he would continue to be responsible for managing the rest of the money and paying bills but that from now on his raises will go to me. I will use that money as I please.  I teased him more while I let that sink in with him. I could tell he was getting a thrill out of me exerting my control over him.  It did not take long before he was begging for an orgasm.  The answer of course was no.

After I had brought him to the edge and then teased him even more, I told him the same goes for his bonus.  We are fortunate that he gets a decent bonus each year.  I  told him I wanted to see his bonus statement when he got it and he would have to immediately transfer 100% of the bonus into my account.  He agreed, but I could sense some reservations in his tone. I expected and anticipated this.  I asked if he had a problem or concern with this.  He told me he didn't but that he typically uses some of the bonus to pay down a portion of our loans. I told him, that was not for him to decide anymore.  I would do what I want with the money.  I knew that was a powerful statement that would push him even deeper into subspace. I let it sink in with him while I teased him more and made sure he verbally agreed with it.  Then I acknowledged to him that he is very wise and prudent with our money and valued that.  I then told him that I would expect him to provide me with suggestions on how to use the bonus money.  He was not allowed to recommend and expenditures for himself.  In the past he would often buy something for himself as reward.  I brought up this topic and let him know that his reward was being married to me and serving me.  I would determine if he got any other rewards.  My strictness and firmness on this was part fantasy play.  I know my husband and I know these statements were awakening deep submissive feelings within him.  Feelings that he craves to experience. 

Well, suffice to say, after all the teasing and domination I was throwing at Thomas, he was a horney mess and was in subspace.  I had him hanging on the edge of orgasm and his mind was complete mush.  I hadn't even gotten to the other changes :).  Having him at my mercy and wrapped around my finger made me horney as well so I moved on top of him and queened him until I had an orgasm.

I will write about the rest of the changes in my next post.  After I wrote this post, I thought that perhaps I was too detailed and gave more information that needed and I thought about trimming it down.  However, after thinking about it more, I think that the detail is probably helpful for people to read as it can help give ideas or examples that can be used in your relationships.  I hope you agree.  My hope is that by sharing my experiences, it will help others build upon their FLRs and give real world examples that can be used or adapted to their own relationships.

-MzKaylee