As the new year approaches, it is a time where many people reflect on the past year and then set goals or resolutions for the new year. I would encourage you to do this with your Female Led Marriage/Relationship. The New Year, provides a great excuse and fun reason for making changes and setting new goals with your partner. Why not take time to reflect on how you are doing as the leader and how your partner is doing as the follower. Perhaps you are not in a FLR but have been contemplating it. The New Year is a good time to give it a try.
As the leader take time to reflect on how well you are leading. Do you need to be more confident and assertive? Do you need to expect more out of your partner and be more strict? Are you meeting his needs and keeping him motivated and happy? Have some of your routines and rituals been sidetracked; have they become meaningless and need to be changed up? Perhaps you have gotten caught up in work and the day-to-day things and so your FLR has taken a back seat. That is easy to happen but now is the time to get it back on track. It is important to get it back on track.
Think about what things you can do to take your FLR to the next level. Do not settle for status quo. If he cleans the kitchen every day, what can he do to clean it even better? What will bring you closer together, make you happier, and make your marriage more fun? Do you need more pampering? Do you need to spend more time alone with your husband having fun (scheduled date nights are great). I would suggest picking something new to try. For example, add routine spankings or discipline sessions or require your husband to kneel before you regularly. Make him sleep naked. These are just ideas to provoke you thoughts. This is a good time to set new expectations and rules with your husband.
Reflect about all these things and then set goals and plan to follow in the new year. Write it all down. If you are worried about someone finding what you write, no worries. Write it all down and then tear it up after your are done with it. If you write down your goals and plan it mentally prepares your mind and helps organize and cement your thoughts you will have a better chance of following through with them.
Feel free to seek input from your husband. Ask him to write down things he really likes about your current arrangement, his most memorable moment of the past year, and ask him to write down a 3 things he would love to try in the new year. Use this information to craft your goals for the coming year. Remember, you are only considering his input. You do not need to act on everything he writes. If he writes down a crazy idea, you can easily give him a direct 'no' to the idea or your could play into a bit and say 'maybe, I'll think about it."
Announcing the new goals and expectations can be fun too. Make him kneel before you while you announce the changes or lie beside him and tease him to the brink of orgasm while you whisper to him the new order in the household. Perhaps a spanking while you dictate the changes for the new year will help reinforce the important points. Something I have don in the past with Thomas is leave him a note with all the rules and then we talk about them later. He is always hard and aroused when he reads the note. I find it quite humorous. Again, these are just ideas to get the wheels turning in your head.
If you are the submissive in the relationship, spend time reflecting on your role. How can you be more supportive and devoted to your wife in the coming year? What can you do to make her life easier and make her happier? What things can you do to make her feel like a Goddess? Write all these thoughts and ideas down and put a plan in place to do them in 2016.
Are you happy and satisfied with how things are going? If you are not happy, then you owe it to your wife to talk to her about it. The conversation may be difficult, but if you are open and honest, it will be healthy for your relationship. If you are happy, write her a note thanking her for being a great leader, Goddess. Mistress, or whatever term of endearment you use. Do not ask anything of her. Simply thank her and tell her how excited you are about continue to serve and pamper her in the new year.
Whatever you do, I wish you all and wonderful and Happy New Year!
-Mz Kaylee
It is very important at the begining of a FLR that the woman understand the mans needs. And that together they have set a goal for what they ultimately want the relationship to look like. A couple can not have different expectations and still have a successful FLR. First thing a woman should do is set some basic rules, protocols and expectations. Having experience with FLR's before meeting my husband this was easy for me. But most women don't have the advantage of having previous experience. And I would highly suggest that any woman just starting out get a mentor if possible or at least some good advice.
ReplyDeleteAfter laying out the ground rules I told him we would have an evaluation of his progress every six months. In actuality the evaluation would be of the FLR in general. But knowing his submissive needs I knew it would be better if he saw the evaluation as being centered on him. So every six months he would kneel naked with his head bowed infront of my favorite chair holding my crop in his outstretched hands. And wait there in that position until I came in and took my seat. While he waited I would be changing into a special outfit. A black leather skirt, stockings, heels and sheer top revealing a sexy black bra underneath. I did not do this for his sake but for mine. The outfit together with the crop that was waiting for me in his hands. Not only caused him to instantly melt into sub space it also empowered me. Which gave me the upper hand and made him feel like my slave before I even said the first word. I had the advantage and it was clearly demonstrated by his throbbing erection. Once seated I may take the crop from him right away or I may let him keep holding it while I looked him over. Maybe using the tip of my shoe to play with his rock hard erection. I was in no hurry, after all he was still my slave in training and I saw this time as a powerful training exercise.
During these evaluations we would discuss what we thought was going right and what we though wasn't working. And I would change, drop or modify some of the rules and protocols depending on how effective I thought they were in moving the FLR forward. I used the crop to play with his genitals, rub it into the side of his face and maybe to raise his chin if I wanted him looking into my eyes for effect. Seldom would I use it to administer discipline unless it was part of his training. Just having it there and using it as I did was enough to accomplish what I wanted. Whatever changes were made, each evaluation always ended with me being a more strict and demanding mistress with more rules and protocols imposed and less freedom for him. Each evaluation would also end with him kissing my feet and thanking me for being his mistress and taking time to properly train him. Our goal was for me to be totally in control and him to be my devoted and obedient slave. And I was determined to work towards that goal six months at a time.
This worked out very well and over time I introduced him to more and more of what we both wanted from our FLR since the begining. Of course not everything went smoothly, like when I announce that I intended to introduce him to my femdom friends as my slave. I knew he wanted and needed this but I also expected him to fight it at first, which he did. He has come a long way since then. And these days he is one of the first to strip naked when we get together.
I seldom if ever do evaluations now as I don't think I need them. Though I see them as a valuable tool for couples just starting their FLR. Now I simply change things as I see fit and he complies without hesitation. But I do have a weekly maintenance discipline session that we never miss without a very good excuse. These sessions are in no way connected to any punishment he may need. He may have been perfect all week and he will still receive a maintenance session. I do not count this as punishment which is administered as needed.
Sandra - Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. This is great information and I hope many others read your comment and learn from it. I enjoy hearing others experiences. Reading about other peoples experiences is a great way to learn and get ideas to incorporate into your own FLR and also reaffirm that you are not alone in what you do. I hope others both learn from your comment and also share their own experiences.
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