Many of the readers who commented on the post mentioned item 1 above. I'd like to dig deeper into this thought. In my opinion, the perspective of the hen pecked husband is that he is following orders because that is the role he fell into in the relationship. He is obeying simply to follow orders and maybe keep peace in the house. He may or may not be happy with this. I think many men are perfectly content in this situation. There are probably also men who do not like being hen pecked and feel nagged and are unhappy. I would imagine the wife in the hen pecked relationship feels a bit frustrated as she has to constantly tell her husband what to do. The consequences of the husband obeying is that he keeps peace and avoids more nagging, at least until the next thing comes up. If he does not listen to the wife, then there is probably even more nagging which may lead to arguing and yelling.
In a FLR, the submissive husband takes pleasure and enjoyment in serving the wife. He wants to please her and wants to treat her like a queen. An order from his wife is not seen as nagging. In fact the submissive husband enjoys being given orders. The submissive husband obeys to please his wife and not simply to keep peace. The wife in the FLR also takes a different approach. The 'nagging' wife is more reactive to things whereas the FLR wife is thinking ahead and setting ground rules and expectations for the husband so that she does not have to nag him about things. If the submissive husband does not follow her orders, he is punished or disciplined. In most cases, the husband knows he is wrong and feels bad about not obeying. There are also positive rewards for the submissive husband for obeying the wife. When she is pleased, he is happy and she may also decide to treat him to some fun teasing or an orgasm for good behavior.
A change in perspective can make a world of difference in a relationship. It's not easy to make that change but if you can do it, it can be a life changer. One of the great things about FLR is that it creates fun and excitement out of everyday chores and tasks.
Please share your thoughts on this topic and I encourage you to visit the I'm Hers blog and contribute to the discussion there.
https://im-hers.blogspot.com/2016/12/whats-difference.html?zx=bf454409c096b344
An FLR also has an element of sexuality that may well be missing from the henpecking relationship. There's a difference between balls that are being caressed and balls that are being busted.
ReplyDeleteGG
Love it GG. Great analogy. Made me laugh but so true.
DeleteMaking you laugh made my day!
DeleteGG
That is a perfect definition of the differences between hen pecked homes vs FLR homes, well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandra!
DeleteBravo Mz Kaylee, so well written, skilled. Your third paragraph is the best description of my lifestyle relations I can recall. I suggest another facet. I believe henpecked men get there because they don't live intentionally, they get through. I intend to serve Ms J perfectly, but alas am constrained by my mortal being. When I fall short, her strong hand of discipline makes me a better man...pain is weakness leaving my body. She tears away the dross to refine me stronger still. She's a supernatural gift like that, my Queen.
ReplyDeleteAgree. Great addition to the topic.
DeleteA very well written post Mz. Kaylee! From my personal experience I see the the major differences in 1. A henpecked husband perceives his wife as demanding respect and obedience while in an FLR, the wife commands it. 2. Men in an FLR embrace servitude to their wives as a way of life and find it gratifying, a henpecked husband is nowhere close to understanding the joy that is there in unconditional service. 3. Henpecked husbands need vocal prodding, an FLR is smooth where the wife's needs are anticipated well before they need to be spelt out.
ReplyDeleteYours humbly,
NR
Well said NR!
Delete'embrace servitude" - I love that. Well said.
DeleteI think a very big distinction has to be made between Femdom and just nagging. Nagging is annoying and not hot. Femdom is hot, but more than that, it brings couples together and it's in my opinion the natural expression of Females being the dominant sex. Some could disagree to that but I'm quite conservative in that aspect and do believe that a good husband will always obey his Wife and serve her, it's just his roll in life and nothing to be ashamed of because it's nature. However, that should be established firmly and the Woman is the one who should take the lead in establishing her authority in her home and her marriage.
ReplyDeleteI am very sad for those marriages were "Femdom" becomes just nagging. I think that borderlines with just abuse.
Gigi = I strongly believe that FLR brings couples together (you used the term femdom, which I think is different than FLR but many people use those words interchangeably). I do not agree that FLR is for all couples. While I think FLR is great and better than an equal marriage, I believe there are some couples in which the husband may be the better lead. If done right, a husband led marriage is better than an equal marriage. I appreciate and respect your opinion. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteI agree that FLR is not for all couples. That could make for a compelling blog post.
DeleteGG
I know that some women might call this manipulation. I feel it is MUCH better than nagging or hen pecking. Honestly, in some ways men are a bit "simple". I do not mean that it a bad or negative way. I have had the experience of wanting my husband to do a chore or an errand that is difficult or at a bad time or distasteful or whatever. I know it is not a good thing for him at that particular moment. I have gone up to him held his crotch and told him the "bad news" - I need him to do something (usually not that easy or fun a task). He receives that bad news while I am gently holding his testicles (though often he is fully dressed). A guy with an erection has trouble being cranky. I rub him to a full one. Stop and say "You need to get going now". He literally gets to it. I am thinking (and sometimes say out loud) "good boy". He his happy and I sure am - compliant husband, chore done. No argument. At all. I compare this to the fights and struggles I see with so many couples! Awful! If it is manipulative I am guilty!
ReplyDeleteFor many of us, experiencing the expression and assertion of female authority is the payoff, and the ultimate is when it comes in the context of a committed long-term relationship. Manipulation is a toll that we don't mind paying -- with gratitude -- since it means access to a trip down a beautiful road with the woman we love.
DeleteGG
Dear Jessica,
DeleteI believe that in an FLR, both the wife and the compliant husband share common goals with the husband understanding and accepting his role. Your method is quite effective in reinforcing what is already hardcoded in the husband's brain :) I find nagging to be a complete relationship destroyer - it doesn't help anyone reach a fruitful outcome. Haters would say it's manipulation, but I call this guidance.
Yours humbly,
NR
Great insights Jessica and I the responses from GG and NR support this. Thanks guys for providing feedback. What Jessica described is a win-win situation, which is one of the great things about FLR.
Delete