Mental Domination - The mind F#@K

When I first started experimenting with domination many years ago, a submissive guy explained to me a key difference between regular 'vanilla' sex and femdom sex. Great vanilla sex is fun for one night and then in a day or two you forget about it. Great Femdom sex on the other hand, affects your mind so much that the memory stays with you for days, weeks, or even years. 

His explanation provided invaluable insight and has stuck with my ever since. If you read into the meaning of this statement, it is that femdom affects the mind. It is not just about physical domination. Furthermore it is long lasting. An effective femdom session leaves a lasting mental imprint on the submissive. 

I know this is true because I see it in my husband Thomas. We have had many sessions together that have blown his mind and years later they are still fresh in his mind. From time-to-time he will say something like, 'remember that time when you called me up to the room in the middle of the day and made me....." It is exciting for me and even flattering to know that I made such a lasting impression n him.

When I started focusing more on the mental aspects of domination I became a more effective dominant and I also enjoyed domination more. Toying with my husband's mind became a fun passion for me and the results were thrilling. A good mind fuck is so much fun for both the Dominate and the sub. It is also the epic 'high' for submissive men. When you have their mind so twisted that they don't know which way is up and they can think straight because they are overcome with arousal and deep submission feelings towards you, then they drop into an euphoric subspace. If you can make this happen with your husband, it elevates your authority over him. He becomes addicted to your power and that makes him a more loyal submissive to you.

Often times the mind fuck just happens naturally. You get into a situation where the chemistry is just right and you feel it, he feels it, and your inhibitions go wild. It's incredible when that happens. The more comfortable you get with each other with the dom/sub dynamic, the easier it is to find yourself in these situations. With some thought and planning you can also purposely create these situations and blow you sub husbands mind. Here are some things that have worked for me:

Prolonged teasing - Teasing is the foundation to it all. Teasing his cock to the edge of orgasm over and over again spikes his arousal. The more heightened his arousal, the weaker his mind becomes. Men can not think straight when their arousal is running high. Each time he is brought to the edge, he becomes weaker and more under your control. When men are in a heightened state of arousal, they are ripe for being mind fucked. I will spend 15 - 20 minutes doing nothing but teasing his cock and when I am done he is putty in my hands. Once he is in this state, let the games begin!

Fetish wear - put on your latex and boots and break out the riding crop.  Tie your hair in a tight bun to give that tough look.  Men crumble at the site of a woman in fetish wear.  It's just one more thing to get their minds into a weakened and obedient state.

Be quick with your commands and extremely demanding and strict - This is where the fun starts. For example, order him to lick your boots. Once he starts tell him he is too slow and order him to do it faster, then immediately tell him it's too fast and and the he needs to slow down, and then order him to do nice long licks and clean your boots. Order his hand behind his back while he worships your boots, then lift your foot and make him lick the bottom or suck your heels...keep the demands coming.  The quick commands force him into a situation where he can not think and all he can do is react to the next command. Now he's feeling true submission.

Create a no-win situation - This is where you really toy with his mind. Think of scenarios where no matter what he chooses there is no great outcome for him or the good outcome is impossible to reach. "Sweetie, If you promise to eat your cum I will let you orgasm, otherwise it's going to be at least 4 weeks until your next orgasm. What do you choose?" There are many scenarios you can do here.  If your man is in chastity, you could play around with his release date. Tease him like crazy while he's locked up and then tell him he can choose to be released but there will be no orgasm and he'll be locked again for two weeks with no release. Then give him the option that if he waits two more days, you will release him and give him a mind blowing orgasm. The better option is obviously to wait two days for the orgasm. Make it your goal to drive him so wild that night that he can not resist being released. You could even be seductive and try to convince him to beg to be released that night. Then once he's released, tease his cock and tell him its too bad he's going to miss out on a great orgasm.  Imagine how fun it will be to lock him back up again.

Use your seductive powers and his pleasure to seduce him into humiliating situations or to push his limits. It's important to understand that submissive men enjoy being forced or seduced into humiliating situations and they enjoy having their limits challenged. When these things happen they are truly feeling and experiencing your power over them and your authority. They crave to be in situations where they are at your mercy and feel like they can not resist your seductive powers. The biggest mind fuck's occur in these situations. I've written about one of these situations in a previous post. I had my husband aroused and in panties. I referred to him using a feminine name, "Tammy," instead of his name "Thomas."  I spent some time getting him in the frame of mind that he was Tammy (that he was a girl for me that night). Then I pointed to his cock and said "Tammy, stroke Thomas;s cock." He obeyed and for the next 20 - 30 minutes we played out the scenario where she (Tammy) was giving Thomas a hand job. I made him tell me how it felt stroking Thomas's cock. I told her to notice how excited it made her the more she stroked his cock (total mind fuck since it was really his cock and the more 'she' stroked the more aroused he became).  I told her to keep him on edge and not let him cum.

My husband is a straight guy and so him pretending to stroke another guy's cock is not something he would normally want to do or ever think about doing. However, because I seduced him into the situation without him initially realizing what was going on, and I did it in a way that his arousal increased the further along we went, he could not resist doing it. My husband confessed that what I did totally blew his mind and he was embarrassed by it but he loved it and it was one of the hottest things he'd experienced. So there you have it. A straight guy admitting that one of the hottest things he did was imagining himself as a girl stroking another guy's cock. That's a mind fuck!  I definitely pushed past his limits that night. There was a closeness or deep bond that we felt after that experience. It's not something I can explain but it brought us emotionally closer together.

As noted in the beginning of this post, using his arousal is a big part of setting the stage for the mind fuck. I also find that seduction is a big part. Specifically, the type of seduction I am talking about is dressing sexy, teasing his cock throughout the experience, and frequently letting him know how pleased and aroused you are by his actions (this is very powerful!). I provided some example scenarios above. There are many different scenarios you can use.  Think about what your husband's hot button are; what are his fetishes or things that drive him wild and set-off his arousal?  Build your scenarios around these things to really give him a good mind fuck. 

I hope this gives you some ideas to use. The mind fuck is a great way to add fun and spice to your marriage and it also does wonders in strengthening your emotional bond with each other. Please share your experiences or let me know how it goes if you try any of the above ideas.

-Mz Kaylee