Follow-up To Redirecting His Sexual Energy

Below is a well thought out follow-up response from Mike on my last post. One of the concepts I introduced in my post was the idea that pleasure for the submissive male comes from many things other than intercourse. Mike provides good examples of how this has worked for him. I am glad he shared his experience with this as it is not always an easy concept to understand for those new to the lifestyle. His examples below provide real world examples of how the dynamic works. Thanks Mike for your contribution.  -Mz Kaylee

Here is Mike's response:

Mz Kaylee's last post, " "Redirecting His Sexual Energy", had great points that I made astounding connections. I thought I could share a little of my personal experience and perhaps others may find similarities. One big take away  was written in bold.

His sexual pleasure comes from being controlled, being mentally fucked, and pleasuring and obeying her. That is his sex. 

I find this to be a very solid truth in our marriage.  She also mentioned that there may be less sex than in a traditional marriage but more intense and impactful sex. I think other people posted similar experiences and I would probably agree wholeheartedly.

I may even go a step further and say that in our WLM, sex isn't a major foundational component or driving force of the relationship. Originally, sex was a main reason why we decided to enter a WLM. There were too many arguments and disappointments regarding sexual expectations prior to a WLM. We were at the point that sex was given at an obligation.

Now, I'd say the major foundation of our WLM is my wife's authority, leadership, the mind fuck, as Ms Kaylee described.  I don't think the mind fuck exists without that inner need to feel that arousal. I'd like to add the arousal I get from pleasing my wife is a driving force of my obedience.  "Sex" is the arousal of all things done to please her. In addition, my loyalty, trust and submissiveness to follow is expected and is given. Her natural sense to be in charge quickly became utilized for this lifestyle as that was the avenue she could mostly be herself.

I'll also put it this way. If we were to go back to the traditional marriage sex aspect, she may tolerate it and the relationship may be ok. However, if we took away her authority in the household and I was not submissive, I'd question how well our marriage would survive.  This is how much more of a driving force her leadership is as a backbone to our marriage.
I have theoretically 10 opportunities to please and satisfy her throughout the day, 7 days a week. I'm referring to these little tasks given such as making her coffee and breakfast, doing her laundry, cleaning the dishes, grocery shopping. These are times she expresses her power and for her to see that I follow her lead.  This is arousing for me and gratifying for her.  With that being said, sex only provides only one aspect to contribute to that balance. On the flip side, we don't have sex 10 times a day, 7 days a week. I'm sure someone would say to just give her 10 orgasms everyday. But that 7 days a week isn't very practical. At least not for us :)  So there are residual effects when following my daily duties and her giving me commands.

What has become more apparent is that sex is not FOR me. Sex is for my wife. While I thoroughly enjoy it, I do not have a say in when, how, how long, how fast to thrust, to cum etc. I'm left hard and wanting more, yet satisfied. The wife controls all and gets all the orgasms.  This is quite the change before we started a WLM.  I had sex when I had an urge for an orgasm and controlled all aspects and got that release each time.

I'm not stating sex is less important. But it has its place and there are other ways to please and satisfy and pleasure my wife that rank higher on the list. As Ms Kaylee wrote in bold, our daily sex that matters more is the mind fuck that continually reignites with all the serving.
Everytime she expresses her power and authority, it sends an impulse of arousal that keeps me submissive and under her control. Recently, there were erroneous charges on a credit card I had.  She was able to resolve the charges.  However, upon telling me this, she stated that since I was irresponsible, I would not have a credit card to use anymore.  This was an expression of her power and authority that was exhilirating and arousing.  This is her preferred method to keep me in check. Now that I think about it, she is clear in decions that would directly benefit her. This is true on directions with cleaning, making breakfast, laundry etc. Although, the majority of my tasks are expected and aren't daily stated at this point.

Regarding sex, it simply has become another way to serve her and give her pleasure. I don't receive cock teases, edging, corner time, or maintenance sessions, or kinks as these don't directly pleasure her. She doesn't get aroused by those and just isn't her way or fit her style. When she wants sex, it seems like she primarily wants her orgasms, after some time from the last one has passed and needs her urge satisfied. 

The other day, I had some time between activities and enjoying some quiet time in the bedroom. Moments before, she mentioned she was going to start on her DIY home decor project and didn't need me. Unexpectedly and to my surprise she came into the room, said to take off my pants. I did as I was told. Not much speaking occurred from that point. She clearly wanted her orgasms. No kissing, no foreplay. I'm given direction to give her oral or penetration.  After she had a few orgasms, she says she's had enough, says thank you, gets dressed and goes back to her home decor project. I'd say that's typically how our "sessions" go. My cock or mouth is a tool to give her what she wants. We do connect and it's intense, yet my role is simple and with one purpose. 

If my wife was asked, "what do you like most about your WLM?" I'm certain it wouldn't be about sex. She admits she likes being in control. If I were asked the same, or how can I make it better, I also wouldn't say anything about sex. I'd like to find more ways to better take her daily directions. I know this is an unpopular thought but this is why we don't view my full blown orgasms as exciting and and something to look forward to.  Or why having one in her also doesn't benefit her. I hope the insight on what we / she likes best about a WLM isn't really what most may like, sex. It's the empowerment she receives. My full orgasms infringes and corrupts, to a degree, the balance she is able to consistently control me and keep me in my place. 

During one session, I could tell she was in the mood to have big orgasms, so I brought her dildo to use. It is much larger than me and she thoroughly enjoyed the orgasms. Afterwards, she said she felt bad for enjoying the bigger, longer cock and me not being as involved. I told her she shouldn't feel bad and that I really enjoyed watching her get fucked by a larger dick. They are her orgasms to have and should do so more often as she pleases. She realized as did I, that my cock wasn't sufficient or adequate for what she wanted. And I'm not insecure by it. Sex she gives and allows me to have with her is a privelage and doesn't necessarily need me to get her orgasms. I know my role and my servitude under her leadership plays a more vital and valuable role than what my cock or mouth provide.  And I believe that is just at pleasing or satisfying to her as much if not more, than the sex I give her. I laugh a little, all of this may have " cuckold" all over it.  Today, I'm tasked with finding a certain seasoning/ spice at the grocery store. She'll be happy if I bring it home. She'll be disappointed if I do not. I wish to please her. I'm more concerned and thrilled with successfully completing her request more than being concerned if she wants a bigger cock than mine. Isn't that mind blowing?

Lastly, controlling the masturbating was tough. We both love to exercise. She's in an intense gym workout group and I do weight lifting, and running 4 to 5 days a week. I'm sure some of our sexual energy gets dispersed from exercise. It does for me. And perhaps she likes it as it helps controls my impulses. I would recommend people that struggle with masturbating to find something physical to do such as gardening, home projects, walking etc.  This was pivotal in keeping my mind off my dick and to put that energy elsewhere.

It's almost ironically and ridiculously sounding to have a WLM. We're essentially telling a guy, " you may have less sex, less orgasms, less say decisions, no masturbating, but have the most rewarding relationship ever." :)

I'm sure my story may sound strange and peculiar? 

Hope all is well

-Mike