FLR Fosters Good Communication

One of the great benefits of a Female Led Relationship (FLR) is that it creates an environment of regular communication.  At least that has been my experience.  As the leader I have no hesitation with sharing my feelings and expectations with Thomas.  He is also comfortable sharing his feelings and thoughts with me.  It is important to point out that FLR does not mean the submissive's voice and opinions are not heard and taken into consideration.  Perhaps some people run their relationship that way but I would challenge that a relationship like that will not last or is not healthy.    A healthy relationship includes two way communications.  There certainly are times where I will "shush" Thomas and not want to hear what he has to say.  However, in most cases he is allowed to share his opinions and viewpoints.  What make it a FLR is that I have the final say and he yields to my decisions.

There are many characteristics or practices of a FLR that promote healthy communication.  Discipline sessions are a good tool for communication.  These sessions provide an environment where my expectations can be clearly communicated and I can provide clear and poignant feedback on how well Thomas is performing. During a discipline session I have his undivided attention.  Often times when I am disappointed about something Thomas did and I communicate this to Thomas as part of the discipline session, it results in a conversation and I find out there was confusion or a misunderstanding from Thomas (although most times he is aware of what he did and acknowledges his infraction).  In many relationships, people don't communicate when they are upset or disappointed and they harbor negative feelings which hurt the relationship.

Punishments also keep the communication open.  What I love the most about punishments is they help both people put an issue behind them. Thomas is never completely surprised when he is punished.  He knows he was wrong or lazy.  Once the punishment is completed, he has paid his price and can move on.  After I punish him, I completely wipe the issue from my mind and he has a fresh start with me.  I have known people who have been very upset over something their spouse did and they hold onto that grudge for days or even weeks and then it ultimately leads to an argument. In a FLR, the female calls out issue immediately and addresses them with the sub.

I expect and demand pampering from Thomas.  He gives me massages and baths regularly.  I also enjoy teasing his cock and will tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a few minutes.  All these encounters promote interaction between us, which keeps the communication flowing freely.  Ask a person in a typical 'vanilla' relationship when the last time was that they massaged or bathed their partner?  I'm willing to bet most people can't remember or it's been a long time.

Finally, having one person designated as the lead in the relationship avoids arguments and having both spouses fighting to get the last word in or fighting to win.  I am not saying this is easy to accomplish but when the submissive accepts his proper place and yields to the authority of his spouse, it curtails arguments early. If Thomas starts to become argumentative I will firmly state "I am in charge and that's the end of the discussion."  He gets the point real quick.  Other successful tactics I have used is threatening him with a punishment, threatening to take away a privilege, or I may just point to him and say "kneel" or "strip"(Argument ended :)  ).

Please don't take this post as bashing traditional "vanilla"  relationships.  There are many healthy traditional relationships and there are unhealthy FLR relationships.  However, I do feel that in most cases the FLR promotes better communication than a traditional vanilla relationship.  If you read through FLR/Femdom forums or books, you will see many posts of both men and women who indicate that their marriage and relationship with their spouse became stronger once they applied FLR principles.