Thursday, January 10, 2019

Female Dominance and "Cuckolding (by Mary)

I am very grateful to Mary for sharing the below post. Her and I have been corresponding for quite a while and I know she has ventured into cuckolding with her husband.  There's been some discussion in the comments of previous posts about cuckolding and so I asked her if she could write about her experience with it. I am sure you will enjoy this post. Thanks for taking the time to write this post Mary!  -Kaylee


Female Dominance and "Cuckolding"

In truth I was always pretty "dominant" with guys. I think I was just that way from the very start. I guess I liked the feeling of "directing" guys.  I did not really think about it all that much back then - high school, college, etc. It was just "me". I was never really into "whips and chains" and even the term "bondage" or "slave" seemed not me and at times a bit silly. I had zero objection to that stuff it was just not quite a fit for me.  Now I am married and my interest in the whole idea of power in relationships has, for whatever reasons, become pretty intense. Frankly it all fascinates me but I think more in what they call the "life style" sense versus what I guess some couples do - "play"?  It is not that I don't play with my husband. God knows I do but I think I am also interested in the ongoing feel of it all as well as some of the "practical" aspects of being dominant and having a submissive husband for whom that fits really well. 

I consider myself an absolute "newbie". Maybe I am less that than I think. I believe without the Internet I would know nothing. Even  one or two years ago I don't feel like I knew half of the terms and ideas that I am now slowly becoming more familiar with. I also think that I did not "get" it. I guess I did not get the depth of how female dominance can be - both for the woman and the guy. Over the last year alone I have learned a ton about my husband as well as myself. I feel that our relationship is incredibly "deep" and emotional and uniquely connected. It is still developing and I find it quite exciting and it feels more alive than much of what I hear from women in "traditional" (sorry I don't know the right word here) marriages. 

If I am honest I do have a little trepidation about writing this piece. That is so partly because it is still new to me and also because I know full well I don't understand it all. I don't say that what I write is true for all or that I have any special knowledge whatsoever. I  can only share my experience. 

Initially I think I felt it was "fun" to be a little "bossy" with guys. I found it not hard to direct them and I sort of liked that they liked it and did not at the same time. My husband was no different. In fact I have learned increasingly what a submissive is through him. I know full well that all men are not this. My husband sure seems to be. So early on I just found our dynamic fun. As time progressed (okay this sounds wicked) I did find it advantageous. I learned to "link" his "good behavior" with a potential "reward". I also learned to limit his rewards pretty significantly. If that sounds horrible or manipulative I understand. But honestly I started to notice that my husband could be made to get excited to do our laundry, grocery shop,
clean the house, get my car washed, pick up my dry cleaning etc. It has become "explicit" that a great day of following my directions (orders) may well bring a very rewarding experience with my right hand. 

This "reward system" has become very up front. Is there a "puppy dog" aspect to it. Yes, absolutely. I sort of think there might be some of this even in "vanilla" marriages. The husband "does good" pleases the wife and gets rewarded. I think what I have done is sort of made that dynamic intensely explicit. There is both a "game" and a "real life" aspect to this. The chore list I give my husband is very real. Often it is darn long. Some Saturday mornings I whisper to him - "I really want you to work extra, extra, hard for me today". It has become a "thing" on the weekend - Saturday's especially. I go out and literally take a total leisure day - brunch, yoga, visits with friends - even dates. "Dates" was the original subject of this essay before I got off on a tangent. Yes, I "date". 

I expect this might be the hardest thing to explain. Honestly it is was and at times still is more than surprising to me. I learned the term "cuckolding" only recently in time. I don't want to give the impression that I am a "party girl" or heading out to clubs with every Tom, Dick and Harry - very far from it. I do, however, at this point have a "boyfriend". I also can at times be a bit openly flirty with guys - yes, even with my husband quite present. Most of my life I am "home". Most of my life I am "just" a married woman. Most of my life, to others, I am sure I appear to be in a marriage not unlike others (though who knows what people really do!). The truth is though my husband and I are not "equal" - at least not in the marriage. He is my husband - there is no mistake about that. I am sure though that our marriage is a bit different than most though I do wonder how many other forms of what we do occurs with others. I really have zero idea.

The reality is I have freedom in my marriage. My husband does not. I do what I want. He does not - or maybe he does, but, what he wants to do is what I want him to do - if that makes any sense?  I will add that if anyone told me earlier in life that anything like this was even vaguely possible I am sure I would have rejected the notion a thousand percent. I know that there are or have been cultures with "Queens" where the woman is worshipped and the male is not equal. I am not well read on that but I know it exists. I also know that many men (or am coming to know) inside themselves "feel better" or more natural or more right or more something - being under the lead or direction of a female. My husband and I had some interesting conversations. I have even used an "interrogation technique" involving oil and also my hand to ask questions and explore things while he is aroused (quite amazing how honest he can become!).  

If I am out on a date night he confesses that he is filled to the brim with emotion. He says he thinks about me constantly the entire night. I also can feel his focus and attention when I come back. It is sort of like he cannot do enough for me. He describes being jealous, worried, embarrassed/humiliated but also very excited. He says he gets very focused on me being happy. ☺.  If it is a night where I have an "encounter" with my boyfriend I may share a little piece of the events with my husband. What I never, ever, would have known or even considered as a younger woman is how exciting this is for him - he can almost "beg" me for just the words about it. I can see how the "excitement" of it seems to over ride the humiliation
of it for him. Weird? I guess so!

In any event I feel like I could write on and on about this. I felt a bit "on the edge" when I first experimented with it - sort of that what in Gods' name are you doing! Are you out of your mind! It is hard to explain how this emerged - sort of from my natural dominance, his natural submissiveness and my natural flirtiness. It is not "all the time". But I do feel I have found a nice place for it in our lives. Maybe the oddest thing is that this really works. Not "just" my dating which feels like side event fun but really the life style aspect of it. I really thought and still do think that the term "slave" is not really right in our case.  However, we are not equal. My husband does work for me. I do "give orders". I do make near all decisions of consequence and I do decide on how we live. What is odd is that I myself would HATE being in his shoes and would not accept it for a New York second! However it feels right and "good" to him. It is something that makes us feel incredibly close -even if I cannot tell the neighbors!  Thankfully I do have a great Internet friend and also one or two girlfriends who I can share aspects of it with. I have to say it feels quite good to both of us and has become more "normal". 

I would love to hear thoughts.

-Mary

29 comments:

  1. Not our thing, but understand it works for some.
    Thank you for sharing and giving and insight into how that might work.

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  2. I enjoyed reading this post. Not sure if this is something I could do or would want to do. But if my wife decided this is the direction we would be going I would try my best to submit to her wishes. I like how you say that you have freedom to do as you want; your husband does what he wants is to obey you. Very true insight into submissive men. Thank you. Hope you will continue to share your experiences.
    kevin

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  3. Thanks for sharing. Would be really helpful if you can elaborate on the circumstances of how cuckholding started in your marriage, the initial dynamics and hesitations if any, and any insights on the bull and what he knows about the arrangement. Thx

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  4. Hi Mary,

    I would be uncomfortable with this arrangement but have thought of it (being cuckholded) in fantasy it is sort of a turn on but the thought of another man really having sex with my wife is unpleasant. She has sort of hinted at it, but when challenged says she is not interested.

    That said, indeed no judgement from me and to each her own. Perhaps if my wife were dedicated to being as dominant as you are she could get me there, we have what I would call a mild on and off FLR. Hard to imagine, but I can't rule out being so deep in subspace that it would become acceptable.

    Thank you for sharing your story in detail, I enjoy the writings and perspective of dominant women. You are indeed the boss in your family and may be a newbie to embracing it fully as you say, but you are an absolute veteran on how to handle to men!

    My wife, like most women is a little bossy and controlling but there is not really a sexual aspect to it for her, so far (maybe that will develop). The question I often think about and blogged as a guest here (thanks MZ. Kaylee!) is how common it is for men to be wired submissive and women dominant? Moreover, if culture and acceptance for FLR were different would it blossom because it is natural for many but but repressed due to societal pressures?

    If I may ask, since you have lived the life of a dominant women, what are your thoughts on this question? I could submit more specific questions and would enjoy that, but I don't want to hijack your post!!

    Anyhow, thanks again for your post, hopefully we will hear from you again, you are a treasure (:

    KL

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  5. Great read!
    How long did it take for your husband to grasp this idea and to be ok with it?
    I mentioned this arrangement with wide to be permitted.
    How many "encounters" do you usually have?
    Thanks for the insight!

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  6. Hi Mary,

    It seems that you are fully invested in a femdom marriage. Thanks for sharing.
    While many submissive men fantasize about a cuckold relationship, very few actually want one. Even submissive men are possessive of the women in their lives.
    If you could share more information regarding how cuckolding came about in your marriage, we would have a better understanding of how it works in your relationship.
    What does having extramarital lovers do for you and your marriage?
    Does your dominant personality come into play with your boyfriends?
    Would you return to being sexually monogamist, if your husband wanted it?

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    1. Hi Ron,

      I am not sure I can give great answers but I'll try. I am not (exactly) sure how it began. It sort of "evolved". I really do not (yet) know what it does in some sense. I think in a certain sense it is like other dominant/submissive aspects of my marriage - "just" more extreme. For me it is in fact a "lover". It is fun. It is play. It is a certain ridiculous kind of freedom and I don't think I would ever have imagined something like this could "work" if I had not lived it and if it had not evolved with a real live person who seems to love it - even though for him as well it has "evolved". I want to emphasize - this is not every day. It is not every week. It is not "all the time". That might be a misconception. I also don't pretend to understand it all. It was definately an "experiment" at the beginning and "yes" to answer your question - I am married to my husband and I love and adore him. If this did not work for him I would absolutely end it and be monogamist. I think one of the fascinating things to me that frankly I did not expect or even consider was the closeness - the emotional closeness it can bring between me and my husband. I know darn well that sounds nuts. Frankly it does to me too - but I know it really makes him tune in and desire me and yes, even worship me even more. Again, I do not get it all.

      -Mary

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    2. Hi Mary,
      I missed this comment before i sent in my reply, but this answers my question too, nice to read that you love and adore him. For me and FLR etc. I think its important to read that all the thing domme's and subs do for and to eachother is done out of love..
      Tiptease

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  7. Hello Mary.
    I really enjoyed your post and find it comforting to know there are other couples that share our lifestyle and practice cuckolding within their FLR. I can honestly say that I would never have an interest in this practice without the elements of dominance. It is the raw power of the assertion of freedom that I find such an incredible turn on . It is not so important to me that my wife actually has other lovers but it is vital that she is empowered to make that choice . Once she began to understand the depth of her power the other elements of a FLR just fell in place . It no longer seemed unfair or silly to expect me to maintain the the household and other responsibilities. Our FLR went from a weekend game to a very real and rewarding lifestyle that we both love almost overnight .

    Thank you again for sharing your wonderful post.
    John D

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  8. Thank you for sharing Mary. I enjoyed reading your honest and thoughtful post. Like others I have a few questions-have you put your husband in panties or chastity? I feel that both reinforce the submissive role. I'm looking forward to reading more of your thoughts.

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  9. Ms Mary, Thanks for sharing your thoughtful story. It seems very hard for a wife to understand how her husband could thrive in that type of relationship. However, I think it best not to overthink it and just have confidence that you are loving him the way he needs and wants to be loved. Simple as that. You didn't say whether you use a chastity device, but that can really complement his submissiveness and desire to serve. Most men will attest to this. One thing both of you are doing right is communicating a lot. Making sure you are aware of his feelings and he of yours. There are many of us submissive men out here and many, many women could have the life you are enjoying if they would just embrace it. I wish you both the best!

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  10. Hi Mary,
    I am joining the others in thanking You for this interesting post. Cuckolding is such a controversial topic and I can totally understand that You do not always know how to best express the feelings and emotions associated with it. But You Madam are doing a great job!I hope You can tell us more.

    As for me, I am intrigued by cuckolding. The thought of my Wife fucking another man, a bull, with me watching or even participating excites me hugely. Impossible to explain, rationally it sounds crazy. I realize it is safest (sanest?) to leave it a fantasy. But deep down I somehow feel (wishful thinking) that it could work out in the right circumstances.
    My Wife knows about my fantasies, thinks they're crazy, and totally rejects the idea. I think She's right. But it is soooo tempting... But, knowing the effect it has on me, sometimes teases me with short and detailed stories about Her imaginary lover... And says that She would definitely never let me watch Her have sex with the real bull if She actually had one...

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  11. I will try to elaborate in more detail at some later point. I guess for now I would say that it is very hard to pinpoint precisely how this evolved. Certainly from our personalities - my natural dominance and my husbands natural submissiveness. Even way before anything "cuckolding like" there was a strong sense between us that I was "free" and did not need ask his permission for things in general and that he was "not free" and absolutely did need ask my permission for many things. I don't know that was ever even spoken in the beginning. It just was.

    -Mary

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  12. Hello Mary.

    Very interesting perspective that I never considered . The idea of my wife's freedom has always been a part of our relationship but not something that we ever openly discussed until recently . I never really gave much thought to it until our FLR began to grow . Once she became comfortable in the power dynamic the idea of cuckolding seemed to be part of the natural course. She still has no idea what the term means but she loves having the freedom of a single woman within the security of a loving relationship. I do not enjoy the idea of her freedom but rather the expression of power and dominance that takes place as she enjoys the attention of other men. She is very attractive, vivacious and a teasing flirt. I never really believed that I could ever posses her completely and I am much more content in our FLR because there is no need for deception..
    Great post with an excellent perspective on the comment. Maybe this is why Cuckolding does not seem so scary to some couples.
    John D

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  13. Dear Mary,

    my main thought about your post is that i would love to know how much you love your husband. It seems that you are more in an agreement than in a relationship and for me that makes all the difference. I want to be with someone who loves me dearly and wants to spent the rest of her life with me and with those conditions she could even cuckold me, though its certainly not my kink, because I would never deny her needs. Maybe i dont get the humiliation kink, but i couldnot be in a relation with someone who really thinks low of me and i dont understand why a domme wants to be in the same relation. So my question is do you love your man and do you humiliate him out of love or do you really think of him as not being equal??
    And maybe the term humiliation is not correct, but so do i read your post.
    Thank you for posting, regards tiptease

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    1. The author can speak for herself, but I believe that Mary, in the process of dominating her husband, has lost all respect for him (if she ever had any to begin with). Either that or her husband has no self-respect, or both.

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    2. Can you elaborate on what you mean by this? You are posting under a sub name so I would presume that you are ok with domination. However, your comment makes it seem as if domination equates to no respect. I completely disagree. If you meant something else, please clarify what led you to believe Mary has no respect for her husband. Thanks.

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    3. Mz Kaylee,

      Thank you for your response.

      I'm not objecting to the domination. I'm objecting to the adultery. There is a fine line between domination and abuse, and I think adultery definitely crosses that line. In a WLM, the wife has authority and privileges that the husband does not. Fine, I get that. But adultery is such a gross violation of the marriage covenant that I can't see how it can be justified under any circumstances, even in a WLM. And just so we're clear, I'm not just picking on women. For a husband to cheat on his wife, even in a non-WLM, is equally vile.

      This touches on a larger question that I've never seen discussed on any of the WLM sites and blogs I've been reading, which is, in a WLM, is the wife's power and authority limited in any way at all? Because if the answer is "no", then that is pretty much the definition of an abusive relationship

      Unlike men, who will sleep with any willing woman, women only want to have sex with men they respect. Mary exemplifies this to a 'T'. According to her article, the only sex she admits to having with her husband is that which she gives him with her hand. Which suggests that she does not allow him any penetration, i.e. normal sexual intercourse. Apparently, only her "dates" are granted that privilege. I can only conclude that she has lost respect for her husband, so she regularly looks for some alpha male bad boy to satisfy her needs. And Mary has her husband subjugated to the point where he doesn't object. So he's either learned to suppress his jealousy and anger due to fear of punishment, or he really is OK with her cheating on him, in which case he has lost respect for himself.

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    4. One thing I forgot: Every time a spouse decides to have sex with someone other than the person they're married to, they're opening up the possibility of picking up a sexually transmitted disease, which they can then pass along to their partner. Ugh. This is the height of selfishness, and another reason why adultery is so abhorrent.

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    5. Hi f-Sub. I understand what you are saying, but I respectfully disagree. Everybody is different and draws the line accordingly. If it is truly consentual between two adults and nobody gets hurt (emotionally or otherwise) and fulfills the desires of both partners, why not? And then it would not be adultery. What about swinging? These things are not for everybody, sure, and there are potential dangers associated with consenting to your partner having sex (with penetration or without it) with another person. It is playing with fire, I agree, easy to get burn. But I think it can work for some couples to satisfaction of both partners. I don't think it is the lack of respect then. It could be, but not necessarily so. I am sure most vanilla couples would at first glance find Femdom/FLR relationships deviant and dominant Women as lacking respect for their partners. But we know that is not true, at least not in many couples. IMHO.

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    6. Ok, some self-correction is in order. English is not my first language. I checked the exact definition of adultery and it seems that consentual sex outside marriage qualifies as adultery (how about couples that are not married then?)
      Cheating (as doing it behind the partner's back and without his/Her consent) is the word that describes what I meant. It is not cheating if both partners know about it and agree to it or even want it.
      And yes, I agree. STDs are a serious concern.

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    7. f-sub, Thank you for clarifying your comment. There are most definitely many people that believe cuckolding is wrong. I don't think this is something that can be disputed as for many people it comes down to a moral belief and different beliefs should be respected. I do not agree it is abuse or loss of respect if both partners consent. I think Tom explained this well. Cuckolding is not something to enter lightly and requires a tremendous amount of trust and open communication. It is not something that I would do but I know there are many people whose marriage thrives in this type of relationship.

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    8. Tom, MzKaylee:

      Yes, if it's truly consensual, it's not an issue.

      Comparing what I'm talking about to 'swinging' couples or 'open' marriages is not quite fair. Because usually in those relationships, there is a fair amount of equality between the man and wife, and both of them know the rules going in. But in a WLM, there is no such thing as equality. The power dynamic so heavily favors the wife that I wonder how often the adultery is really as consensual as it is claimed. Perhaps in some cases it is. But I suspect that in most cases, the husband simply puts up with it because he either knows he's going to be punished if he objects, or he's afraid of other negative consequences, perhaps his wife will either severely curtail his sexual privileges or maybe even terminate the relationship altogether. I also observe that adultery is not something a husband agrees to before he enters into a WLM, which is the case with swingers or open marriage practitioners. This is something the wife introduces into the relationship at some point after the WLM has been going for awhile, when she thinks she can get away with it (insert the 'boiling a frog' analogy here).

      Anyway, I think we're going to continue to disagree on this, so I'll not belabor the point. Thank you both for interacting with me on this.

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    9. f-sub- I appreciate your viewpoint on this and I don't think I entirely disagree. In my opnion, cuckolding is not something that should be done unless both husband and wife are onboard with it. I suspect you are right that this is not always the case, which is unfortunate. The power dynamic is certainly complicated and I nkow you had previously questioned how much power should the wife have. I will write a post about this.

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  14. Mary,

    Loved your post on the Femdom Think Tank site. I'm in a woman-led marriage with my submissive husband, David. I'm not new to femdom. My mother and aunt ecercised iron clad authority telling their husbands what to do, how to do it, and when. And if their husbands didn't follow suit there was absolute hell to pay. Neither my mom or aunt worked outside the home but they didn't work inside the home either. Mom didn't do housework; she'd say she didn't want to risk breaking a nail doing someething that her husbanad should be doing. Chores were strictly the responsibility of their husbands. Mom busied herself with soap operas, shopping, weekly trips to the beauty shop, frequent manicures, lounging by the pool, lunches with her girlfriends and, yes, entertaining boyfriends. Their husbands never objected, preffering to be told what to do rather than risk stepping out of line. The 'man-of-the-house did the cleaning, washing, ironing, and whatever else mom wanted done as spelled out on a note pad conspicuously posted in the kitchen. Mom created a ceretain tension frequently critizing her husband's work and demonstrating her authority. I learned that many men are submissive and want the woman in their lives to take control. It's a lesson I took into my marriage to David.

    My husband, David, a well-educated, professionally employed man who is easily pushed around by women at home and at work. I have always had my way with him. He does what he's told and does it how I want it done. David does ALL the domestic chores at home and sometimes for my mother and sister, both of whom live nearby. David loves being told what to do – it's exciting for him when I give him orders and criticism. I love bossing him around. I NEVER expected to have the situation mom and my aunt had but here I am! Our pre-nuptial that spells out that my happiness takes precedence – ALWAYS! David sounds ideal and, as a housekeeper and servent, he is. What's the problem? He's absolutely lousey in bed. Size, stamina, strength are all lacking – he's pathetic! No amount of counceling, doctor visits, and blue pills has worked. Soooo, I have to look elsewhere for sex. Honestly though, I would have done so even if David were fantastic in bed. I love flirting, the attention of other men and the excitement of a new lover.

    I'm a flirt, always having my skirt a little shorter, my heels a little higher, and my make up just so. And yes, I do flirt when I'm out with my husband. Anyway, about a year after being married a guy at work was making passes at me, wanting to have dinner with him. He was younger and in great shape; yes, I was interested in him. That night I went home and told David I wanted to start dating again. I didn't wait for his reaction and tore into him reminding him that MY happiness, not his, was the basis of our marriage, something we'd agreed on in our pre-nuptial. “It's only a date”, I told him and said he shouldn't be so damn selfish. I'm not sure what he felt but he seemed to be a little excited and, with my permission, he went back to his chores. I'd worried that I just might lose my houseboy but I didn't unnderstand just how deep submissiveness ran. He seemed so accepting that I was sure I'd have it my way all around.

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    1. CONTINUATION OF PRIOR POST:

      My date with Rob was set for Friday; as a 'first date' we planned to have dinner and then go to a bar for drinks and dancing. Now a girl never has anything to wear so I took Friday off to buy a new club dress, have my hair done, and do my nails. I added some jewelry and a new pair of heels. Rob was picking me up at 7:00 so I started getting ready at 5:00. David, being the attentive little man he was, ran a nice bubble bath, complete with scented candles, and a glass of wine. It was so exciting for me and, I sensed, for David, too. I did my make up, slipped into a pair of thigh high nylons, thong panties, and my club dress. I felt David was taken back by the dress; it had a neckline that plunged to my waist prohibiting me from wearing a bra – all the better to show off my boobs! Long dangling earrings, a necklace David had bought me for my birthday, a clutch purse, and my wedding and engagement rings completed my outfit. I went to put on my heels and David knelt before me guiding my feet into the strippie sandeles and fastening the straps – just what I'd expect from my houseboy! The doorbell rang, it was my mother and sister. My sister came to meet Rob and see me off. Mom took David to her house where she put David to work for the evening cleaning her house – a perfect evening for my houseboy! I don't know if David expected to meet Rob but he wasn't going to meet Rob – not yet anyway. “It's all about my pleasure, little man”, I commented to David, feeling my power over him surge. “Mom will bring you back when it's time and don't wait up”, I said, all of we ladies giggling. Shortly after mom took David and shortly thereafter Rob arrived and our evening started. It was all very exciting for all of us, David included!

      Rob and I had a great dinner and then went to a bar for drinks and some 'dirty dancing'. I enjoyed myself immensely, all the more since people knew that I was David's wife and Rob wasn't David. We returned home and I invited Rob in for a drink. I'm sure Rob expected sex but he had to be satisfied fondling my easily accessible boobs. I teased Rob telling him I wanted another night when we'd stay in instead of going out. We kissed deeply as he ran his hands over my body. He was gone soon after. I pored myself a drink and called mom telling her about the evening and asking her to bring my houseboy home. My sister called, and I filled her in on the evening. When David arrived I had him serve mom and I a drink and sent him off to the spare bedroom for the night. I know he wanted to know what transpired but I didn't tell him a thing – after all it was about MY pleasure, not his, although mom said he spent the entire evening wondering what I was doing. At one point he asked mom if she thought I was thinking about him. She laughed and said, “I really doubt it. I went to the master bedroom, locking the door behind me wondering whether I should have had sex with Rob. No matter it was a great evening!

      Debbie

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  15. Dear Ms. Debbie,
    Thank you for such a wonderful post that shows how you
    embrace your freedom, and how your husband accepts it.
    I am sure would all love to hear if you follow through
    on another date. (sigh...)

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  16. Dear All,

    Many thanks for all the thoughtful responses to my original post. I am sorry I cannot respond to each individually. I will say that I totally (totally, totally) appreciate the controversy around the entire subject of "cuckolding". The term itself is one that is relatively new in my life - as a younger person I literally did not know the term or what it meant. I guess the thing for me to emphasize here is that this was not some quick development in our marriage. I also want to emphasize that both my husband and I are very happy - to be honest I feel our connection is deeper and stronger than many if not most of the relationships I observe. I also want to add that though I am obviously the leader in our marriage - this is consensual. I have gone slowly and experimented and "checked in" with him in one way or another along the path. I embrace that this is not for everyone and certainly not for most. I also embrace that there may be religious and/or cultural blocks for many if not most. I am not suggesting for even a second that this is "right" for others. I also don not know how long it will last for us. My marriage is primary in all cases. If my husband said "no" or truly said "no" it would stop right away. I guess one of the things about FLR in general has been how it "fits" for the submissive husband. I do take care of him and know that is a deep responsibility for the one in the lead. Honestly, our love and connection is amazing - and, I understand that may confound many. As a related aside - I listened to a long public radio broad cast just last week on different kind of relationships that are developing and being experimented with in these times - though maybe it has always been true and just now getting more attention or press?

    -Mary

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  17. first thank you for sharing. i hope i am not to late to reply

    you wrote

    how exciting this is for him - he can almost "beg" me for just the words about it. I can see how the "excitement" of it seems to over ride the humiliation

    of it for him. Weird?

    i am cuckolded like your hubby so can appreciate what is going on in his head. it is not weird at least to me.

    i dont want to know who my wife is with. its another great way for her to tease me. is it the grocery bagger? the neighbour? my coworker? i do however love the humiliation of hearing what they get up to. when we talked about her dating we came up with the tease scenarios. she said size doesnt matter its what you do with it but what fun it would be for her to tell me how pathetically small i am. now she dates and will sometimes tell me about her friend but will look me in the eye seriously and say this is not the scenario seriously he was massive. it was so much better than what you offer. you really are better off in panties

    it is humiliating but at the same time amazing

    us men on the receiving end are very lucky

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