"You are a pro a teasing. You've gotten too good at it." Those were the words that Thomas said to me last week, the day after an intense teasing and denial session. He was right of course. I have mastered the art of teasing and denying him orgasm. Thomas has told me that he no longer can predict when I will allow him an orgasm. In the early years of our WLM, he never knew for certain when I would allow an orgasm but he could often predict when I would cave in and allow it (at least that is what he told me).
That was then. Now I'm sterner and have no qualms about denying him orgasm for months at a time, even if he is begging for an orgasm. I have learned that he gets excited and more aroused when I tell him 'no." I know now that one of his greatest thrills is giving me an orgasm while he is denied. For him, the mind fuck of being denied is often better then the pleasure of an orgasm. As I began to understand that dynamic, I started enjoying the power of denial. I absolutely love using him for my orgasm and then immediately tossing him aside and giving him no more attention. I get a thrill out of it but my thrill is driven by the knowledge that he is even more excited and aroused from it.
When I am teasing his cock and he begs for orgasm, I have fun telling him no. It is exciting for me to watch the surge of arousal to his brain when he hears that word. His body tenses, his toes curl, and his breath is taken away as he holds back the orgasm that is trying to push out his cock. I delight in the knowledge that he is denying himself the pleasure, that his body wants so bad, all because of me; because of my power over him. What started out as a strange concept to me has turned into something that I truly enjoy and something that heats up my arousal.
The beauty of orgasm denial is it's lasting effects on the guy. You see, I get an orgasm but he does not. Once I have my orgasm I am relaxed and calm. He, on the other hand, is brimming with arousal. It takes him a long time to calm down. It is torture for him to lay next to me but not be allowed to touch me. If I am feeling a little cruel, I will wait for him to calm down and then tease him a bit more and get him going again. Such fun! He always wakes up the next morning with an erection. We had a teasing session last night and he told me that he woke up several times through the night, fully aroused. When he wakes up like that, he replays the evening events in his mind and his mind races with fantasies of me dominating and controlling him even more. This arouses him more. My teasing continues even while I sleep! I love it!
-Mz Kaylee
Even by MY standards that's too cruel. I guess I might have a heart somewhere after all.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not cruel if he loves it, and it certainly sounds like Thomas does. I know I would.
Delete:) He absolutely loves it.
DeleteMz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteYour account is interesting, even hot (and I don't necessarily like to use that word). It sounds like your husband enjoys it all. I can relate too. I had suggested a Wife Led Marriage and it was all new to us. I think if I didn't have a submissive personality, or if my wife hadn't shown no interest, nothing would have changed obviously. I don't think I can easily explain why being denied orgasms appealed to me as we began to learn more and more, but it did. Maybe its because I had so many over my life that weren't memorable beyond the moment, I don't know. I know I wanted to feel the control, and when my wife got more comfortable with it she enjoyed being able to give a "yes" or "no" to me having an orgasm while I worked away at giving her multiple orgasms. I developed a love and hate relationship with denial. My wife even took some pleasure in punishing me if I slipped up and had an orgasm when I wasn't supposed to after she realized I wasn't delicate. Today I get few orgasms, though I enjoy those I get vastly more than I did when our marriage was traditional. I might be a better partner because of her controls. Two areas of improvement for me personally have been in my job and it my creativity. I saw several promotions after we started a WLM. On-the-other-hand, my wife believes that a constant boot holding me is down isn't healthy, and at home and she encouraged me to pursue an art-related hobby in a work area I set up but rarely used. She always knows where I am once my chores are completed and she has nothing for me to do. I told her it's a weirdly erotic thing for me to work in that room wearing my chastity device, which I wear a significant amount of the time. Maybe it stimulates me to be creative.
Thanks
Philip
Mz Kaylee,
DeleteHas your husband ever experienced an emotional outburst or emotionally charged incident of some kind over orgasms, or lack of orgasms, that concerned you? I don't mean anything punishable, like swearing or having an orgasm by defying you. My wife thinks she actually pushed denial too far one night when we were being intimate.
I had not released in over 2 1/2 months and we both got into a nightly routine we liked that could only be described as steamy woman over sub intercourse ending in denial for me. The denial would happen right near the edge of an orgasm. When we stopped physical contact, my wife experienced that power rush of denial and I would experience something that was a mix of sexual frustration and a pleasant achy feeling that would shoot through my loins. She was impressed at the way I was not accidentally having an orgasm. My wife said I would start to babble and promise her anything and everything if she'd just let me cum, and at the same time I really didn't want to cum. She and I couldn't touch my penis for a long time after such as session for fear of me having an orgasm, although to be honest I probably needed an orgasm night after 10 weeks of hot tease and denial.
One night soon after I was still desperate for an orgasm and I must have been emotionally and physically overcharged. It caused me to freak out. I broke down after she denied me. I sobbed uncontrollably. I can only remember pieces of it. She said I shouted about unfairness and eventually being denied any orgasms as I sobbed louder. My wife was afraid because of the way I sounded. She took me in the bathroom, sat me on the toilet seat and washed my face, neck and chest. My whole head and face turned a bright red, which faded. Later we were in bed and she told me relationships should be built on trust and not fear. She felt it was wise to admit to me she had no secret plan to permanently keep me chaste. She thought it would be counter-productive for her and emotionally or physically dangerous for me (I probably believed what I did about being permanently denied at some deep psychological level. After all, my wife wields some serious power in this relationship). Her admission cleared it up. Mercifully she gave me an orgasm the next night (one I'll always remember). We’ve been intimate like that since, and it never happened again.
Philip
My husband has not had an outburst like that. With long-term denial, my husband does reach a point where he becomes annoying to me. That's when I know he has reached his limit and that I must give an orgasm soon. Oddly enough, he would probably prefer to be denied most of the time, but I know it's best for him to have release at that point. Your wife handled the situation well. It's good that you were able to talk about it. The things we try in a WLM are often about trail and error. It is not always intuitive for the wife to know what to do. They key is to be open and honest with communication. What I love about WLM is that the dynamic forces you to communicate more with each other and when you have an intense moment like you did, it brings you closer. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteMz Kaylee,
DeleteThank you for your comments. My wife often observes, and quite correctly, that if we were to go back a decade we were hardly intimate and we never talked. I resolved myself to living a future that was boring and consisted of mainly watching tv. I don't think we would have separated, but we were on our way to a marriage that was sexless. I'm sorry I neglected an exciting and attractive woman. My wife also regrets showing little interest in me. What I love about a WLM is that if two people have the right personalities and are willing to be a little naughty and try new things, they can make up for some of the neglect and pain and have an incredibly passionate, erotic relationship. I wouldn't want to go back.
Philip
I'm glad you've seen the light :). I would not go back either.
DeleteSounds very familiar, I am in the same boat with your hubby. Over the last year my Wife furter reduced the number of my allowed orgasms from about 2-4 per month to less than one per month. Two days ago I was gifted with my first orgasm in 2020, two whole months after the previous one (I only had two accidental ruined ones in between). To put this in perspective, only 5 years ago (when my Wife started it all by forbidding me to ever masturbate again without permission) I had an orgasm or two every day.
ReplyDeleteAt first glance it may look crazy that we (submissive men) prefer merciless tease and lengthy denial to frequent orgasms. Actually, for me it is a hate/love feeling, I want (my body) and I don't want (my mind) to cum at the same time. I no longer beg for orgasms because begging is the surest way to not getting any. As a rule I cannot predict when I will be allowed or forced to ejaculate, there is absolutely no regularity to it.
So, why I want to remain denied and desperate for an orgasm? Because it makes me perpetually aroused, horny, into my Wife and incredibly submissive. I like getting erections and precum just from being in presence of my Wife, like a teenager, or from a countless little actions, sounds, smells etc. that my Wife can use to arouse me even at a distance. My orgasms can be mind-blowing, but its all over in seconds. What follows is a period of complete loss of arousability (and deep shame if I have to lick it all up and swallow) accompanied by a severe drop in submissiveness, which I do my best to fight, but it definitely makes me less obedient for some time. It is just not worth it (most of the time).
Yes, you got it! A very well description of the dynamic and why it is so addictive for men.
DeleteI think it's great!
ReplyDeleteI love it when my wife is satisfied, yet I'm hard and still wanting. I completely enjoy making sure she orgasm as much as possible as she pleases.
She actually prefers I never cum for the many benefits she receives.
I can say that this process clearly shows your utmost dominance and puts Thomas in a most submissive position beneath you. The continued tease with no effort on your part clearly shows your intelligence and knowledge of how to thoroughly dominate a male. I want my wife to do this to me. Still a wannabe afraid to discuss my need to submit to her. I need to share this blog with her.
ReplyDeleteHello. I love your blog. Sorry for my English.
ReplyDeleteI would like to have your advice.
Mi wife and I have been married for more than 10 years.
I am naturally dominant and she is not.
I have always been atracted by femdom,
although it is hard for me to obey.
My wife is not into femdom outfit, spanking or chastity belts. I think she doesn't like any structured system or kinky.
We have played orgasm denial games in the past. She has me under chastity whreas she ignores me. This makes me suffer, but I love it too.
She has told me some days ago that I would have to do anything she told me if I wanted sex with her.
I would like to propose her to have a FLR, but I am afraid she could say no to something structured.
What do you recomend me, please?
Thank you very much.
You'll never know unless you ask. Seems like she is willing to try kinky stuff so don't be afraid to approach her with the idea. You don't have to jump into a FLR right away. Explain your submissive desires to her and then ask if she would be willing to spend one weekend a month being in control of you. That can eventually lead to a 24/7 FLR. Also, sell her on the benefits to her. It has to be about her too in order to keep her interest. Finally do not confess all you fantasies and desires to her at once. That's a sure way to scare her off, unless she is asking about it and you sense that she is into it. Start off with the basic idea of FLR and share a few, less hard core fantasies to start with. Good luck!
Delete
DeleteThanks for your help, Mz Kaylee.
I'm glad to know that other women read us.
We have have tried several times to play Mistress -slave, but we have failed. I was too nervous and did stupid things. I guess she had her faults too.
I think a relationship more like FLM would work better.
We men used to try to look like a top guy are not good at behaving submissively, although we want in so much.
I love when she talks to me acting like the one who commands, calmly, nearly sweet, but firmly, with decision. I don't know what to answer and I obey.
It makes me enter in subspace when she puts me under a period of chastity and when she talks me about sexy men or when she tells me about her past sexual rapports with other men. (with all the spicy details).
She escapes from kinky. She just like sometimes putting me under chastity whereas she ignores me and she enjoys seeing me suffer. In the end I f**k her hard and submissively, making her have poweful orgasms.
I think that if I go slowly, doing what she says about ordinary tasks and I empower her step by step I will be able to enjoy something like a femdom relationship.
Today I have told her that she can go out when she wants with a new group of sexy girls she has just met. That I prefer to stay at home.
It excites me much when she flrits with boys or even that they offer her a drink.
When she decides to go out with her friends I will offer myself to do the house chores she wants. This excites me because it's something traditionally femenine, so it humiliates me a bit.
Monsieur O.
Hi.
DeleteI´ve been trying to be a good houseboy and to please my wife.
Today I have ofered myself to clean up the kitchen whereas she had a rest.
Why that? She asked.
Is it because you want to be allright with me or is it beacuse of your (femdom) game???
I have answered it was to be OK with her.
Then I have confessed, kissing her, that I love when she dominates me.
I thought she was going to break my heart and finish up our femdom game, but she finally has made me lick her up on my knees.
She has finally masturbate me in a ball spanking session.
I`ve been near of my end as a serveant.
Monsieur O.
Also to add, my wife never allows me to orgasm. She enjoys me aroused and hard, ready for sex at any moment when she wants it. Plus she enjoys me being submissive and under control with her dominance.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, she doesn't like the taste, smell, stickyness of cum. Plus having to clean up herself and the dealing with the mess afterwards was a hassle. She joked, but I could tell it bothered her. I originally offered not to orgasm passively. She initially thought that was extreme, silly and impractical. But after weighing the pros vs cons, she now has no more reason or need for me to cum. She thoroughly enjoys all the benefits and it's incredible.
During the day, during sex, she'll orgasm as much as she wants, then she'll say " I'm finished" when she had enough, and will leave me hard and will continue with her day. At night when she's done, she commands to stop when she's satisfied, then says "goodnight, thanks" and goes to bed
,while I'm still insanely stiff. Amazing!
After a while, I've lost the need or desire to orgasm, honestly. I suppose that was from her training me.
And it's all to surrender to her and please her. I have fun with it and see how many times I can make her cum.
Thoughts or feedback?
Love her
In a similar boat, as described a bit below. My wife described it as an epiphany wherein she wondered what the point of the male orgasm was. She's also always enjoyed oral sex more anyway. That said I miss orgasms, even though I admit my energy, mood and behavior quickly dive whenever I have them. But I am to a point now where I feel constantly in need of one, and frankly find myself semi hard almost throughout the day. Maybe I'll get to your lack of need/desire at some point?
DeleteIt is fun and frankly very enjoyable to have my husband give me an orgasm and expect nothing in return. However, I do not recommend permanent denial of orgasm. First, I don't think it is healthy. I'm not a doctor but it just seems natural to clean out the pipes every now and then. Second, I don't like that you have no desire to orgasm. In my opinion, complete denial actually reduces the wife's power over the husband. If he knows no orgasm is ever coming, then what is his motivation to serve her? If there is always a chance for orgasm, then it keeps him on his toes. I think it is more exciting for both him and I when there is hope for an orgasm. I will often give him several orgasms in a month and then switch back to long-term denial. When I do this, I can tell it becomes harder for him to switch back to long-term denial because he has had the wonderful taste of orgasms and now remembers how good it feels to have them. Finally, I enjoy when we have sex and orgasm together. It is a rare and special treat for him but there is something very intimate and bonding about having orgasms together during sex and should be a part of every marriage.
DeleteThat's great info. I'd clarify to say that "no desire to orgasm" may not be accurate. It's more that I would never know when it would happen, but also it seems like we both enjoy the highs it offers when retaining.
DeleteI've been on the low end after orgasm and wife and I definitely see the negative behavior arise.
I've seen some writers say they are allowed 2 or 3 a year. Part of me likes seeing how long I can go mostly because we both experience nearly all the positive effects.
Also, in some ways pleasing orally to her feels just as good to me as sex if not better. It's amazing when full focus is on the wife. Intercourse sometimes, many times is enjoyable because I know I'm getting satisfied and I put a bit of concentration on me.
Have you seen any bad negative behavior with Thomas, days after orgasm?
I try not to get to the point of being annoying by other activities such as exercise and hobbies. I imagine if he never got annoying, you may make the duration longer?
Hi Mike. My wife is very much like yours regarding my cum. To be honest, I also find the smell and taste of my semen gross whenever I have to consume it after my rare orgasms. In 22 years of our relationship she willingly accepted my cum in her mouth maybe 10 times and swallowed twice, both times by accident because She had my penis deep in her mouth when I started to ejaculate and She had no choice but to gulp it down. Both times she nearly puked from it. But all this is many years in the past. She still blows me rarely (she likes the feeling of my penis growing and stiffening in her mouth, but not so much the precum I start leeking in abundant quantity).
DeleteCurrently She hardly ever lets me cum anymore, and certainly not in her pussy (it's been 5 years since the last time) and PIV sex is also a rare exception. My erection is no longer as solid as it used to be (I start loosing it after about 10 minutes) and She doesn't allow me to take erection pills unless She specifically wants me to fuck Her, without my orgasm of course. Most of the time She prefers to be pleasured orally and/or fucked with large vibrating dildos (my penis is no match). Sex in our household is all about her pleasure and I sincerely feel that this is the only right way, it feels natural to me to be used and abused sexually exactly as she prefers it without any expectation of my own release. Seeing my woman in throws of an orgasm that I brought on is the best possible reward and many times I nearly cum from it myself. There is no need for it, but she still thanks me for being such a great lover (which I am not, but it feels great).
Hi Tom
DeleteGreat insight. I do think we have common challenges and experiences. My wife from the very beginning said she didn't like cum and was direct about it, as well as pre cum. This is also in part why she doesn't like blow jobs (or hand jobs). I think it was only 2 in 2019.
I think much of what we did was because she knew I liked it and did it a little out of obligation. I communicated not to do so. In return, there has been more oral, and almost no bjs.
I also don't think she sees the need for be to cum. She doesn't like the mess, but also she really appreciates the submissive behaviors I present when my focus is completely on pleasing her. She has stated numerous times how unaffectionate and detached I become after orgasm and it seems like she doesn't care for be to go thru that phase again.
I think we're on the same page where sex in the house hold is absolutely for her pleasure. In return, I'm privileged to give her any orgasm as much, as she chooses and that is an incredible sensation I love.
There are times she doesn't care at all for my cock and just wants oral.
I gave up on wanting sex when I want and how I want, because I know I'm not in control. Moreover, it becomes annoying for her by voicing that opinion. In fact, she doesn't want be requesting or initiating. I've realized my role is to be her sex object/toy as she pleases, regardless if I cum or if she doesn't touch my cock.
I've communicated that to her.
She stated that she's very sexually satisfied and she loves the balance and dynamic we have.
When you put that all together, my mind goes to a place where I may not cum again, but knows it may be better that way for both of us.
How does she let you cum, and how does she handle your frustrations?
Sometimes after PIV sex (which I am rarely allowed) she would let me fuck to the edge of my own orgasm. I must always pull out before cumming and if I am very lucky she may let me finish with my hand. But in most cases I cum from her hand, one way or another, she likes to torment my penis and balls with scratching, pulling, slapping... occassionaly I have to masturbate for her fun. I think She genuinly enjoys my shameless display of male horniness. She has full control of it and some times I have very hard time not to jerk off. She hasn't locked me up in a chastity device yet, she used to be very much against it which I still don't understand since she really hates my touching myself. I no longer masturbate without permission, but I cannot resist touching myself when I am aroused. I think she is finally warming up to the idea of putting me in a chastity cage.
DeleteMy frustrations are my problems. In fact I can tell how pleased she is that I am so into her and to see how quickly she can get me hard and dribbling precum. She enjoys my desperation for sex and orgasm and above all my obedience.
We cuddle each other lovingly in the morning, she likes me to hold her in my arms. This may lead to sex or not, she may let me touch her between her legs or not and she may completely ignore my genitals or not. When she wants sex she also wants orgasm for herself. The days when she let me fuck her freely (unless she was angry with me) are long gone. Now it's all about her. She may fuck me roughly and discard as a used fuck toy or make gentle love to me (without my orgasm). But in most cases she asks for long oral sex and to be finished off with a large vibrator burried deep in her pussy until she cums. I gladly provide it all.
My wife enjoyed the teasing aspect but got "fed up" with my erections to the point that I'm now required to sleep elsewhere (following a foot massage, every night, and oral on her, most nights). She shot down both the chastity idea and even my suggestion of sleeping next to her on the floor. Her thought is she sleeps better "without a man next to her" and also she likes I can get be up even earlier to do chores with waking her. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteHi Tim,
DeleteThanks for your insight.
Does she have you sleep in another room every night? Or is it because she gets poked with your erection?
Seems like she has certain ways to control you and keep you submissive. How often does she let you orgasm?
I think you get to the point of lack of desire to orgasm once you completely surrender to her, or realize you may never get one. Moreover, that you're a better man without one.
Every night now, because she didn't appreciate the erection poke. She's mentioned that aside from very occasional sex and more frequent teasing, she doesn't really want to see or feel my erection ever and prefers oral sex in terms of being able to achieve orgasm. I have only had a handful of orgasms the past 3 years and that's basically come from my begging her essentially versus her suggesting it. I think (fear?) overwise it'd be never.
DeleteI agree with the above commenters. In our 5 year old FLR I get much fewer (1-2 per month) amazingly better orgasms with the subsequent struggle to overcome the sub drop afterwards. My wife has a lot less sex drive than the esteemed Ms K so orgasms for her infrequent by her choice. I do hope we move more along the scale of more o for her, less or for me but much more tease for me. That said, our relationship is very good and much happier than before learning from this blog. Our grown kids are amazed by how together we’ve become though unaware of our dynamic. My wife reads a Ms K post when I share them. This blog has been a wonderful blessing for our marriage.
ReplyDeleteMarc s
For the record, I do not have a high sex drive. What you read on the blog is all the high points. Trust me, there are lots of dry spells in between. I typically have an orgasm every 1 - 2 weeks. Sometimes it is more frequent and sometimes it is longer. We have had spells of 4+ weeks without sex. Before our WLM, it was less frequent. Having an FLR had definitely increased my sex drive but it is not like I am having several orgasms a week.
DeleteThank you so much for your clarification. This fits very much with our experience-a definite increase interest for her but weekly seems about right even though I would love to help her orgasm more often��
DeleteI can certainly relate to the dilemma of both wanting to orgasm and wanting to be denied at the same time. The immediate biological and emotional urge is to orgasm. But being denied leaves me aroused and craving her, and having her take that control pushes me into an incredibly submissive state that I have difficulty describing. I love feeling her power over me, and I love the feeling that I am giving her whatever she wants, whether it is an orgasm for her, or denial for me, or, if she chooses, an orgasm for me. But when it is her choice rather than mine there is something fulfilling about it. It makes me want to do more for her, keep giving to her and submitting to her.
ReplyDeleteLast night, wife tells me to take off my pants. By the time I took mine and hers off, I was hard as a brick. My dick was extremely excited to get wet and knew what was arriving.
ReplyDeleteMy wife gives me the non verbal cue to go down and give her oral. I happily did so without hesitation. I can tell by her moans and hip movements, she was really into it. She orgasmed quickly.
I noticed she didn't give a command to stop when I think she usually would so I kept eating her longer. She came a few more times very expressively. After about 4 orgasms, she signalled she was very pleased.
At this point my dick couldn't be any harder and could knock down a wall. I knew it was time to put it in. But of course, I asked permission before entering her. I asked " would you like my dick or were you finished?".
I, of course, only had one expecting answer in mind. She quickly responded, " I'm all done. I'm tired, sorry. "
Granted she had an exhausting day indeed, it did appear she did quick change of mind. My penis never got touched.
This denial surprisingly in some ways, made my dick harder and want her more. Her " sorry" wasn't one of empathy. It was a " I got what I wanted, I didn't need your penis, move on" type of sorry. I'm a bit thrilled and surprised she could setup for excitement for my cock, only to deny at the end.
This did make me think if we would ever go through a phase where I would just satisfy her orally and not PIV sex. Maybe my cock would never be needed for a while. I mentioned it to her before, not to feel obligated to use my dick every time. Perhaps she's going with the idea.
Thoughts?
I have had nights like that with Thomas where I never touch his cock but he pleasures me to orgasm. I am fascinated that he gets a huge thrill out of it. I think it is a wonderful idea for you to only orally pleasure your wife and get nothing in return, for a period of time. Your tongues essentially becomes your sex organ. This would be a fun dynamic to have in place for awhile. However,similar to what I commented above about orgasm denial, it's not something that should be done too long. At some point you need to have your desires met in order to keep you motivated and happy.
DeleteHi Mike. Sounds very familiar. Many times it is the same with my wife (and with my reactions to be treated like that). Over the last year and a half my wife has been getting more and more dominant, totally on her own, I no longer make any suggestions. One of the shifts is a drastic further reduction of PIV sex and my own full orgasms. She never announced it, the length of intervals with no vaginal sex or my orgasms that used to be reserved only for severe punishment became a norm. The last abstinence period was two months, I was only granted one orgasm (not even from sex, after her orgasm and from forced masturbation in front of her) and one vaginal intercourse which was interrupted because it would end up with my far premature ejaculation (I had one of the most frustrating ruined orgasms as the result).
DeleteWhat is really different now is the approach of my wife to denying my orgasms and using me for sex only for her own pleasure. She used to tease and deny me (but still let me cum about once a week or so) because I encouraged her many times to be cruel in this sense because it made me crazy with lust for her. Which was true of course, it was like a drug. But now it seems she finally grasped the fact that she can really enjoy me with no regretsoand doesn't have to worry about my orgasms at all and can completely ignore my genitals if she so chooses or if they are useless to her (I am of course strictly forbidden to pleasure myself unless it is for her fun). There have also been some changes to stricter rules for me outside sex. It really feels as if our FLR (we never call it that) is gradually transitioning from a more or less game phase into lifestile phase. It is very exciting but also a bit scary because I have no control over it.
That said, I don't think I will ever stop craving orgasm, even if I never get one again. Which I very much hope will not be the case. I stopped begging for orgasms two years ago, but when I last asked my wife if She will ever let me cum again, her answer was that she was not sure, but probably yes. I accept that I am at her mercy in this regard, but as long as I can have my pleasure of serving and pleasuring her intimately and of being sexually teased and tortured, I can take it (I think).
Also, I'd add who's benefit or pleasure is it for when you come? It's rarely for the wife.
DeleteSo why would she want it? I think that's the idea of complete surrender. One that yields great euphoric happiness for both. Ultimately, that's what she wants... And every cell in your body is to obey and pleasure her. And doesn't seem like many complain.
What aspects does she like and not like?
Wonderful comments. Your comments help validate that what I wrote about is spot on. I like to get that validation as it brings credibility to this blog and lets readers know that what I am writing about is not just fantasy. I've read all your comments and responded to a few above. Many of you commented on similar topics so I did not reply to every comment because I did not want to be repetitive but I do appreciate all of you taking the time to share your experiences. I hope the women readers read through these comments as there is a lot to learn about submissive men within the comments. You guys are giving away your secrets :)! I also hope to hear even more experiences and please feel free to respond to other people's comments, as some of you have already done. I love it when you can learn more from the dialogue in the comments then from my post.
ReplyDeleteI would love to follow you, but seem unable to find out how. Btw it is over 300 days since my last orgasm. My Queen suggests I may have to wait til August.
ReplyDeleteExceptional, authentic post. It describes our marriage almost exactly, except she is on the cusp of fully internalizing her new power in the relationship. It took her sometime to believe my desire to live in a continuous state of desire for her was genuine. She knows this now but has yet to fully integrate it into our daily lives as you seem to have done.
ReplyDeleteYour blog continues to inspire us to believe that such a life is both possible and wonderful.
Have patience and don't get discouraged. Thank you for your positive words.
DeleteMz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteYou have a great blog that seems inspirational for those interested in this passionate lifestyle. I don’t normally comment on blogs though I have. I don’t have much time to get into blogs with the long hours I work, and I prefer my anonymity. My husband, Phil (Philip), was excited about finding your blog. His description of our marriage is accurate, while his comments are surprisingly explicit. Phil and I have truly never been happier since we began our WLM journey our late 40s.
The poor boy got more than he bargained for (“be careful what you wish for” is real) when I began to see the intimate benefits to me, and I lost some of my inhibitions. Oh, he totally loves and embraces being submissive. I know because he shows me and tells me often (sometimes too often). He even tells me when I deny him a squirt! And I deny him often. Like your husband, he loves it. I still tell him (as his stern Mistress) that he “lost the privilege to cum unless I say he can”. He gets to enjoy orgasms but has no say about them. It turns him on and frustrates him to the point of wanting to tear his hair out. He might if he had any.
We hit a snag a couple of years ago. Suddenly he never stopped complaining. Punishment did nothing. A couple of days would pass by and he'd started up again. Did he want to stop being submissive to me? Was he tired of it? I sat him down and I made a tell me what’s up. It was enormous stress from changes in work and by the fact that he felt he needed some additional “me time” (his words) to decompress. I made a decision to make adjustments for him hoping his attitude would improve. I encouraged him to spend more time working in his shop with his little art projects and figures (men are really boys) once ALL chores were finished and I IF didn’t want him for anything. (He has artistic talent, but nobody ever supported it when he was young). I gave him more time in the evenings to unwind after dinner and relax. He still does his chores. I also encouraged him to speak to up as an adult if he is having a problem (his work problem eventually ceased). None of this was unreasonable. I’ve found the man working on his laptop or on business calls at midnight or later.
Phil was happy with my decisions and apologized. I wasn’t exactly happy. I was still angry because he didn’t share anything about these things. Why not be open? We talk. I wanted to make sure he didn’t walk away thinking that I was a pushover and he could just alter our relationship by complaining. I’m in charge; this is what he wanted. So, he was punished (a little) for not speaking up earlier: I made him insert a butt plug (medium size) and without any complaints his plug found its warm temporary home (what has a WLM done to him?). Then I made him take me out for ice cream. We sat outside at one of the picnic tables on the side of the parlor. I took my old time eating a sundae. He had a large vanilla cone, and his butt ached between the hard-wooden bench we were sitting on and the butt plug that was snug in his rear. I let Phil remove the plug the moment we got home, and he cleaned it and put it in his dresser. It wasn’t long before his tongue was busy again, but no ice cream was involved. I told Phil he could pleasure me orally in whatever way he wanted. He showed me how much he appreciated the changes I agreed to, and he surprised me and pleasured my rear until I was begging him to stop MULTIPLE TIMES! His desire seemed to be insatiable. Later Phil blushed when I made a joke about him getting vanilla ice cream while we were out and preferring “hot fudge” at home. He's never been a happier.
Regards,
Joan
Joan - wonderful to hear from you. I think you handled the situation perfectly. I agree with your logic that he should have spoken up sooner. It is critical in any marriage that both partners be open with each and speak up when something is bothering them. Even though in a WLM, the husband is submissive and the wife has final say in all matters, the husband still has a voice. I am glad you've been able to get to the bottom of his bad behavior and establish the appropriate balance in your relationship. Thanks for sharing. I hope to hear more from you.
DeleteYou’re welcome. I’m happy my husband told me about your blog. I believe you have some wonderful insights into WLM and relationships in general. I told my husband he is free to contribute. I sincerely hope I have not frightened him away. Phil assured me I haven’t. I will comment in the future.
DeleteRegards,
Joan
Mz Kaylee.
ReplyDeleteI think the typical imbalance between the sex drive of a man verses a woman is a core principle of a WLM. The lifestyle becomes a means of balance that allows a woman to channel the energy of his insatiable desires into practical acts of service. The man finds a lasting peace and fulfillment in serving her that he cannot find in the temporal moments of sex . Orgasm denial may seem cruel but done with purpose and authority can actually be much more fulfilling than occasional orgasms that end with a climax and break the spell of intimacy . The thrill of orgasm denial can be matched by the tender bonding moments following an orgasm but the experience leaves him completely satisfied and challenges the very foundation of his submission . I believe that this is a feeling that most women could never understand but one that a woman in a WLM should learn to recognize and embrace as an opportunity to increase her authority and reset the intimacy lost at the moment of his orgasm.
Take care
John Dalton
Hi Mz Kaylee
ReplyDeleteAre there any scenarios which Thomas talked to you about changes or new ideas regarding sex or WLM... Where you compromised? And/or where you said " no way, that's not happening"
Just curious if those conversations happen to have any impact with you.
Thanks
There are times when I never want her to let me cum. She always does though....but I might never know when it happens. You wrote a great posting
ReplyDeleteA few days during intercourse with my wife, I had an accidental "spill" and didn't pull out on time. I was almost at 2 months without orgasm and was a new personal best. Of course this wasn't an authorized orgasm and as having it, I actually tried holding back and felt disappointed as it happened. I wasn't thrilled and excited about having it. I even told her after that I was a little ashamed.
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly, she was more encouraging and excited about pushing the boundaries and the new extended record. I was a bit surprised with her reaction.
Nonetheless, I felt that low, and disconnect for a while after. She also saw the huge behavior change. Apparently, nothing good came from the orgasm.
After a talk, a plan was made, in hopes to help remedy this from happening again. She decided a ruined orgasm would be allowed the first day of each month, which she would administer.
This is a means to an end which isn't for tease and denial. And only serves a purpose to help alleviate sensitivity for my cock and still be hard when she wants to be ocassionly fucked.
The ruined orgasm is going to be as simple and quick as flossing or putting on deodorant. Not exciting but done for a reason... In order to maintain a system and purpose for my role.
The reason is on the occasion my wife wants intercourse, she wants a hard cock that's not on the verge of cuming. Moreover, she enjoys being fucked hard. Like bed shaking hard, like no tomorrow without need to slow down. And her patience has some limits as well as how often I may have to pull out to not orgasm.
The ruin orgasm appears to be the only authorized release I'll ever get. I personally don't find pleasure with them. And she doesn't find joy doing it. Maybe that will change. I'm sure the quicker, the better to get it over with, is what she's thinking.
She did not like having cum in her and expects that error not to happen again.
Although the new change is something to look forward to.
She knows she's in charge and knows my role for her.
Mike, so many similarities between our Wives.
DeleteMy Lady also sometimes wants to be fucked, hard. No matter how we start it, She wants to finish it with her on top. With long denial periods I am currently unable to satisfy Her with my penis, I always cum prematurely now so when She wants a hard fuck, She makes me ejaculate first and then after I can get it up again rides me for her pleasure andhusually I can then restrain myself from another orgasm. But I have had a chance for this just a couple of times since last summer.
In last September we spent an extended weekend away from home. We do this a couple of times every year to recharge our batteries. We call these short holidays "fuck weekends" because there is plenty of sex and all kinds of hedonism on the menu. And I am her real slave then and She treats me like one too (I love it).
Anyway, after some sex without my penis she wanted to orgasm from riding me. I tried really hard and slowed down and interrupted the screwing many times, but I still miserably failed and orgasmed (without permission). Not inside her, I pulled out on time. After weeks of denial it was a miracle I didn't come even sooner. She didn't hide her dissapointment and scolded me and my useless little dick (she knows SPH also turns me on, but not immediately after my shameful premature ejaculation. That night I had to sleep on the floor for punishment. I felt (like always when I underperform) humiliated, ashamed and also very aroused by it all when the horniness returned. Early in the morning she woke me up and allowed me to join her in the bed. Against my protests she quickly and painfully masturbated me (with her fingernails, this kind of pain turns me on even though my dick is raw red and burns from the abuse afterwards). I came very quickly, 2nd time in less than 8 hours. She then had me take an erection pill and ordered me to go back to sleep. We woke up 3 hours later. I was completely erect and She ravished me and rode me to two wanderful orgasm. I felt like I could fuck another couple of times without ejaculating. Just wonderful. We pleasured her a few more times in the remaining two days, but my penis was never used or even allowed near her vagina again. It was about a month before I was granted another orgasm.
I recently ended a 2-month period without a full orgasm yet I had another one yesterday (she masturbated me) only a week after the previous one. I was sure she would want vaginal sex afterwards, but no. Maybe toonight, I can never tell except when we are on holidays when she turns into a horny and very demanding vixen.
Mz. Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteDue to the character limit in comment, I couldn’t add this to earlier comments.
Have you and your husband celebrated any milestone anniversary dates, or celebrated them in any special ways?
My husband (Phil) and I will reach the 10-year anniversary of a WLM in April 2020. We’ve been married longer than 10 years. A WLM met a certain level of kinky desire my husband secretly had (the naughty boy), but he unleashed my inner Mistress. Mistress is glad she was unleashed.
We began discussing ways to celebrate our anniversary this past January (one idea was to book a cruise when one we liked was offered). We decided to postpone any cruises until summer. I want to book a long cruise, or a cruise with time on land, but it’s often difficult for me to get off due to case workload and scheduling. Summer is easier. Phil’s job is less restricted when it comes to vacation time. We discussed many other ideas. So, our plan for April is a getaway to a modest but comfortable home we own in the mountains. It happens to be in the vicinity of where Phil grew up, and he loves it because he was always a little homesick for the area. I love it because I enjoy the solitude, and because he enjoys it. Phil is a lucky boy, and I’m a lucky Mistress. In all the years we’ve owned the home I’ve never once had to ask or nag him to perform any cleaning duties. Our sessions there tend to be naughty fun. If only I had such cooperation at home.
Phil and I will be exchanging gifts of course. I will be purchasing some collectibles and art supplies he wants and a couple of surprise gifts. He gives me great gifts and I’m sure he will not fail to impress me this year.
This gets into money: I have control of finances. He has input only. He was never good with money, so I became the chief financial officer as he calls me. Phil grew up with practically nothing, and that is the root of his problem managing funds. He makes a good salary and gets bonuses. I let him indulge himself A LITTLE with his own debit card I load. Significant purchases must have my approval, or they don’t happen. I didn’t allow Phil this freedom in the beginning because he was a wild spender. He improved, and he works extremely hard in our home and on his job, so deserves to have enjoyment from things he likes. There’s less resentment.
The primary rule I made is that Mistress can buy whatever she likes and can afford, and Phil has nothing to say. Sometimes we review his spending, item by item. He might have to explain a purchase to me. He might even feel a stroke or two from my paddle if I think what he purchased was excessive. If I'm feeling nasty, I’ll show him something nice I’ve purchased ask him how he likes it to rub his nose in it. He gets very submissive when I do this.
I plan to let Phil enjoy himself in April. The Mistress in me decided that he would get zero orgasms during the months of February and March, but he will be able to enjoy himself like the old days while we are away. Returning to nasty habits after won't be tolerated.
I still make him wear a metal chastity cage whenever he goes to work or leaves the house. Phil wears a plastic one with a numbered lock if he flies or travels overnight on business trips. He claims both are comfortable. Chastity may sound mean, and I think they might be mean for a man who can control his urges. I caught Phil masturbating a few times. He was warned and punished. The last time I confined his penis to a chastity cage he had bought with the exception of nights and weekends. He understands how masturbation added to our issues. Nothing is foolproof but he knows it would be unwise to violate my trust. He’ll face very serious consequences if he does. He agreed to this and he knows I’m right. I’m going to keep him with chastity, with obvious exceptions being if he experiences soreness or significant irritation from the cage. I can also easily punish him by insisting he wear his cage at night, and I have.
Regards,
Joan
Hi Joan. I just wanted to congrstulate you for a wonderful FLR. Phil is a very lucky man, no doubt. One thing that is missing in the relationship with my wife is that she doesn't keep my genitals locked up so my chastity is honor based. But I don't cheat and no longer have orgasms without her permission. In the past, when I still sometimes couldn't resist my urges, I had to report every incident and I got punished severely. I feared the punishments, so I sometimes told her only days after the deed even though I knew she would be pissed off and I would get extra punishment for it. Luckily I don't do it anymore, but I still touch myself too much (without orgasm), I would like to drop that too, I am ashamed of it, because I know how much my wife hates that. Yet I cannot persuade her to lock me up to retrain me, just like she trained me to stop masturbating.
DeleteIn any case, I wish you and your submissive hubby all the best.
Tom
Thank you, Tom.
DeleteI'm glad my husband spotted your comment and told me about it. My husband pushed and pushed for a WLM, and it worked out for us both. I hesitate to give much more advice than 'be careful what you wish for' and do what your Wife/Mistress is comfortable with. Remember that Phil commutes, sits at his desk (all day), uses the men's room, and does other work wearing his cage. I’ve thought about not requiring him to wear a cage to work at some point, though I’ve said to the contrary. After all, I want our marriage to be made up of the fun we both want. He gets some irritation from time to time, and that’s not fun. He would continue to be required to wear the plastic cage for travel. Remember, a submissive man or even his wife can't always have everything.
Regards,
Joan
Thank you Joan for replying.
DeleteI am aware that I might get a bit more than I bargained for if my wife finally decided to cage my penis. But I would really like to get off my addiction of touching myself. Yes, it is an addiction, like my excessive masturbation used to be. We have discussed it and I showed her a few photos of different cages and explained the concept. She remained sceptical but reserved the right to actually do it in the future. I agree with you and don't force anything on her. But from the past I know that she always needs to be nudged into trying new things. In this respect she is shy and self conscious, even though she is also kind of bossy by nature. Many times she fully embraces what I introduce her to and even pushes it furter.
Like you said, both partners must have fun living in a FLR, in a long run it wouldn't work otherwise and I am realistic about my expectations. That doesn't stop me from fantasizing of course. Over the last two years or so my wife has started enforcing new rules for me. Not just sex-related, and without any initiative from me. It is no longer just a game and I am terribly excited and a little scared because of it. I think there is no way back now. But it feels good and right, we both feel we are closer now. She is finally doing it because she enjoys it and because she sees the benefits. Drastic reduction of vaginal sex and my orgasms are just a part of it.
Best, Tom
Joan, i have not done anything special for our WLM anniversary. I honestly could not tell you the day or year we started. In the beginning I was just appeasingv my husband so I did not think much of it. I never expected thay it eventually transform our marriage and have a big impact on my life.
ReplyDeleteI think it is a great idea. It makes for a good excuse to have him reaffirm his obedience to you and to add new rules or rituals into his daily life. A modest get away works great. The quiet mountains are perfect as it will allow you to focus on each other and have quality time together. A few times a year we spend the night or a weekend at an Inn, B&B, or hotel just to have quality time together. When I have nothing to focus on but him, my dominance really comes out. They always turn into fun and kinky getaways and we always come back feeling closer with each other.
Joan,
DeleteI also like what you shared about your WLM. Sounds like you are going strong and have things under control. On my blog, I welcome people to write guest posts. It can be on any topic related to WLM or just about sharing an experience in your WLM. If you are interested, feel free to E-mail me at mzkaylee101@gmail.com. Your email will be kept confidential.
Mz. Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for replying. Also, thanks for your email. I’m happy I was able to comment on your blog. At some point I may contribute an article, that would be fun. Fortunately, one of two linked projects at my job were placed on temporary hold. That gave me a good stretch of time to write comments and upload them. The lull will be ending soon but I plan to make time to read past blog articles you have written.
You said one thing, “It makes for a good excuse to have him reaffirm his obedience to you and to add new rules or rituals into his daily life.” Yes, new rules and rituals will be added.
Regards,
Joan