Monday, April 13, 2020

Guest Post: "A Word of Advice" by Alan


I just wanted to give my thoughts to anyone that’s new to Wife Led Marriages. If this is something you have fantasized about please be warned this may take off and become real. My extremely vanilla wife now rules the household with an iron fist. If you are a husband reading this beware this can become very real, very fast. If you are a wife be sure you will be comfortable seeing your husband in the role as submissive husband. This dynamic will make him soft and demure in your daily lives. For me it works perfectly. I am a natural submissive and my wife always had a bit of a dominate streak, which has expanded greatly as of late. 
At the start she took over sexually. In the first couple of years I was forced to give up masturbating and edging. She still allows me to edge occasionally, but I have to gain permission. After eight years I still find asking my wife to touch myself humiliating.  She, of course, can still masturbate; usually without me. Sorry guys, but you will probably give up blow jobs. I was told that she would never put me in her mouth again and she hasn’t. Oral sex will become very one way in your life. I have other rules and rituals that are followed in the bedroom. After a couple of years a male chastity device was introduced and she made me put it on usually when I was denied or if I was drinking or high.
For about the next 6 or 7 years not a lot happened beyond the sexual side of it. She became a little more entitled and liked making the decisions, but not a significant change for me. Suddenly after I retired she has decided she wants to run everything. After a bit of a disagreement she punished me for the first time. I think realizing she could do that flipped a switch deep inside. Out of the blue she comes to me and says “I’m closing my account and moving it over to yours, I will pay the bills, so finances are no longer your concern”. “If you need to buy something ask me and by the way I want you to cancel your credit card”.  If you get to this point in your WLM this will probably be the tipping point in your mind. The point that you realize she is in charge and there is no going back. Even since I did my profile she told me I am not allowed to leave the driveway without permission (this may have more to do with the virus than dominance). Although I doubt this will go away with the virus as she is not big on reversing rules. She has also decided she wants me in the chastity cage 24/7. I am still negotiating this, but it appears it is going to happen.  Edit-I started writing this a few days ago; since that time I have lost the negotiations.
I just wanted to caution anybody thinking about WLM that this can become real in the blink of an eye. Make sure you are truly submissive and that pleasing your wife is your only goal. Real and fantasy are two different things. Once you enter into this it may be impossible to get out. Wives make sure that you are willing to be his mistress. Once you see him submit and humiliate himself you will not look at him the same.
That being said, I think it has been a wonderful experience for my wife and I. We have both grown into our roles and are very happy. Thanks for reading, Take care and stay safe.- Alan

9 comments:

  1. Your overall advice to "be careful what you wish for" is sound and once a wife truly feels her authority she will use it to deal with you and problems she perceives in the relationship. But your assertion that it can become real in the blink of an eye is a little misleading. Most female led relationships evolve over time.You state yourself that other than sexually, nothing much happened for 6 or 7 years.It sounds like masturbation controls solved much of her early problems with you and she felt she didn't need to go further.As you also point out she didn't even punish you for the first six or seven years of your FLR.Most men in an FLR experience punishment withing a matter of weeks or months, so count yourself lucky on that.The fact that after all this time she is demanding you wear a cock cage probably means you are misbehaving sexually and the fact she is also punishing you makes it likely others of your behaviors are deteriorating. When a wife begins to turn the screws tighter it means she is concerned about your behavior. If you ever want to get out of that cock cage and minimize the times she has to punish you, try to figure out what you are doing to make her stricter after all this time
    Alan

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  2. I agree on the drastic changes that can occur. I can't ask when sex will happen or suggest how it will be. She definitely enjoys being in control and wouldn't have it any other way.
    Can you elaborate how the cage is coming along? And how the sex life has changed?
    - Mike

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  3. Thank you for the share. As a beginner, it definitely sounds scary but exciting.

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  4. It sounds to me like you are enjoying the turn of events so the "be careful what you wish for" seems a bit cliche. I know you guys get a rush out of feeling like there is no way out but we (women) know that it's exactly what you want.

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  5. When I said "blink of an eye" I was referring to the fact that not much happened for years, and when I wasn't looking for it, everything happened very quickly. I don't think it was a behavior problem that caused this. I think my wife finally realized the she was indeed in charge and that I was happy about it.
    As far as the cage goes she let me out to clean on Saturday for a few hours. I was told to put it back on, so it appears this is going to go on for awhile. I'm nine days in at the moment. The most I was in prior was 11 days. My sex life really hasn't changed in ten years. She really took that over and made it her own early on. I am not denied as much now, She said I handle orgasms better than I used to. Welcome surprise from a woman that jokingly refers to male orgasm as "releasing the demons".
    Yes, Mz Kaylee we do love that helpless feeling. Thanks for your comments. Stay safe. -Alan

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  6. Can you give any examples of how your sex life has changed now that she's in control with WLM vs prior to agreement?
    -Mike

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    1. I am her complete slave inside the bedroom. I make sure she is satisfied. She doesn't even allow me to touch myself during sex. When I couldn't seem to keep my hands off myself she started having me wear my cage and would leave the keys on the nightstand. When she is totally satisfied I ask if I can use the keys. Sometimes the answer is no, other times I'm allowed to enter her. I have to ask before I orgasm, a few times the answer has been "no" at this point and I pulled out unsatisfied. I really have no say in the bedroom anymore.- Alan

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  7. Mz Kaylee,
    I got such a smile out of Alan's blog entry. The idea applies to my husband in many ways. Our FLR is now 10 years old and my husband loves every moment of it. It's probably 10 times more intense than he dreamed initially, but he loves it and I have never been as pampered and taken care of like I am now. My husband jumps to it when I give the word and pleasures me intensely when I ask, while he often forgoes his own relief. He recently told me he loves it when mean Mistress appears. He can be sure she will appear much more often.
    Thanks.
    Joan

    (my profile will be posted soon)

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  8. Absolutely wonderful post Alan. Although neither of us knew at the time just how far this could go, we both knew it was what we wanted. My training began the day we got engaged. This way she had 18 months to get some things, primarily me, somewhat in line for after we were married. She had me somewhat worn down, & at least partially formed into the house husband of her liking by our wedding date. What helped also though was I did not fight during her re-training of me. When I would learn of new tricks, and ways she could exert dominance & control over me I would always bring them to her to use over me. I think I wanted this to happen more than her. I tried my best to be an active participant in my macho downfall, and learning to be her servant, & housekeeper. It's six years later, and now I would say I am a totally henpecked, and submissive servant to my wife. I don't want it any other way either. I don't want to ever get out of this. She, and I are totally in love with FLR, and each other. Again, thanks for contributing the excellent blog post Alan.

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