KDPierre

 KDPierre

1. Who am I (name, sex, approx. age, where you live

male, 62, Central NJ

2. My position in the relationship (submissive, dominant, or switch? If switch, do you favor one over the other?

I can switch, but in this relationship that is limited to times when my wife desires an aggressive sexual approach from me. We in no way switch roles though, and she is not subject to any rules or punishments in the way that I am.

3. What is your current marriage status and WLM/FLR situation 

We are married and in what I think would be fair to say is a soft or modified WLM....meaning there are areas Rosa (my wife) has complete control over, other areas she has influence over, and a few spots that remain egalitarian.

We've been at this since before we married, a total of about 14 years I would estimate.

4.  When did you first discover your submissive/dominant desires?

The earliest recollections go back to childhood.

5.  Describe how WLM/FLR was introduced into your relationship? Explain your experiences of how you went from discovering submission/domination up to the point of being in a WLM/FLR?

When we dated, Rosa and I freely experimented with kinky things that led to her taking a dominant role more often than not. When she moved in with me, in order for her to feel more in control in a place not originally her own, we adopted an FLR so as to empower her and make her feel that my house was hers in very significant ways.

6.  Describe your current WLM/FLR situation

    a.       Chores - We share some chores, but being retired (and submissive) I naturally have taken on the lion's share of most day-to-day things.

    b.       Finances/Money - I take care of the finances as part of my "service to my Lady"

    c.       Rules/Protocols - The main focus of Rosa's authority is behavior based. While I have formally agreed to certain rules for specific things, like chores, or Rosa's pet peeves, having them as "rules" rather than informal understandings, is more for effect.

    d.       Punishment and Discipline - Rosa's options are as varied as she wishes, but while other punishments have been utilized, the standard default is primarily the use of disciplinary spankings. She is not hesitant about this and the punishments are as intense as the situation calls for.

    e.       Chastity/Orgasm Control - This a major area of control, to the degree that not only are all of my orgasms regulated, but any physical stimulation as well. I am required to do self-teases on a somewhat daily basis, and I also can ask for a tease from her at any time, but I cannot just go ahead and touch myself on my own. At certain times I can also ask for an orgasm, but these are more limited.

I have come to a point in my life where looking back I can see how long I simply have had no control over my own sexuality and how this state of dependence on Rosa (or others in the past) has become an almost essential aspect of my sexual self. I am the person who is not, and likely never will be, free to indulge as others do.

    f.        Rituals, Protocols, routines - As we got older the appeal of these things waned. Certain rituals seemed like such a big deal at one time, and now they just feel contrived. At this point, we operate more instinctively and fluidly, and that seems to fit us better at this point.

    g.       Fetishes or kinks - You don't have enough space. LOL

7.       How public is your WLM/FLR – do others know about it? How do you act in public?

We are  nearly completely open. Anyone important to us knows how we live, from our kids to our friends. (Even my mother knew before she passed away.......AND APPROVED!) The only people we have not "come out to" are those we both feel would be uncomfortable or confused.

8.       Do you have kids in the house? If yes, what age group (infant, toddler, teenager, adult)

We have one adult kid left, Rosa's son.

9.       Describe how the WLM/FLR works with kids in the house

Given that we are close to empty nesters now doesn't mean that we didn't do this for a long time with three kids (hers) around us. Early on Rosa felt that she wanted to be age-appropriately open about our lifestyle, meaning we shared what seemed right for each kid at each stage of their growth. It worked out better than I could have imagined, even though I was hesitant at first. 

Given that they moved into "my" house and I was a stranger to them in many ways, knowing their mother was "the Boss" and had more authority over me than I had over her, seemed to reassure them that they were safe. My relationship with all of them was/is good and I never experienced a lack of respect. I kind of see it as a reverse of the "old days" when the Dad was the HOH, but that didn't mean you disobeyed Mom.

10.   What are some of challenges you face in your WLM/FLR?

At this point, the biggest challenge has been a kind of "loss of steam". Whether it's age, routine, novelty wearing off, or whatever, the old intensity is just not there. We are still active, and the rules are still in effect, and punishments still happen..........but it's not like it used to be. (But then again my body doesn't function like it used to either)

11.   What things do you like the most about your WLM/FLR?

It suits who we both are in ways that no other lifestyle could.

12.   How have things evolved or changed with you and as a couple in your WLM/FLR over time since starting the WLM/FLR? How does this compare to how you were prior to the WLM/FLR?

I touched on this earlier. Formality no longer seems appealing to either of us, though it did early on. And of course intensity wanes just like anything else over time. But we're still kicking (though I do most of MY kicking across her lap LOL)

13.   If there were one or two things you could change about your WLM/FLR or one or two things new you would like to try, what would they be?

I do miss the more strict spontaneity Rosa displayed when we started, and we have discussed that. But things change over time. 

14.   Do you have any advice for others who are starting out in a WLM/FLR?

Try whatever appeals, but only stick with what satisfies or works. Use "how-to" advice as thought-starters, but never let yourself feel that you are 'doing it wrong' if you prefer something different than what is suggested.

15.   Is there anything else you what like to share?

Just a bit about myself: I have been kinky my entire life and early on decided that I would live the lifestyle I desired even if it meant struggling to find appropriate partners. Once committed, and while not always easy, pairing up with suitable people was not as difficult as I feared it might be. As such I continually advise people to never settle for a vanilla half-life if you know deep down this is important to you. 

Over time I have contributed to Adam&Gillian's now defunct "SandMUtopian Guardian Magazine" as both writer and cartoonist. My cartoons and illustrations can be seen on the internet or at my website. My stories are available for free on the LSF (Library of Spanking Fiction) and also on the same website. And some may recall that I used to host a blog that very recently was obliterated by Google. In other words.......I've been around.