Mz Kaylee Profile

1.       Who am I (name, sex, approx. age, where you live)?

Mz Kaylee

Female

In my 40s

Northeast US

2.       My position in the relationship (submissive, dominant, or switch? If switch, do you favor one over the other?

Dominant

3.       What is your current marriage status and WLM/FLR situation (Married and in a WLM, not married and in a FLR, not married but seeking a FLR, etc.)? What is status of your WLM (Beginners, Mature, Somewhere in the middle)

Married in a WLM. We have been in a WLM for 15+ years so very mature.

4.       When did you first discover your submissive/dominant desires?

A few years into our marriage, my husband brought up the idea of me dominating him and controlling his orgasms. I did not have a strong desire to dominate him but was open to the idea of doing it, mostly to satisfy his desires. Back then, I would not have considered myself a naturally dominant person. It was like that for the first 5 to 7 years. Then things started to click with and I realized how much I liked it and was benefiting from it. It was at that point that I embraced the WLM concept and there was no turning back.

5.       Describe how WLM/FLR was introduced into your relationship? Explain your experiences of how you went from discovering submission/domination up to the point of being in a WLM/FLR?

My husband asked me to dominate him and take control of his orgasms. I was not sure of what I was getting into but I agreed. At first it was just fun and fantasy for me. He wanted it to be 24/7 but I had a hard time with that, mostly because I was not sure what to do but also because I did not want to be “in charge” 24/7. Funny thing is that while I may not have been dominant all the time, I always remained in control of his orgasms. From the day he asked me to dominate him up until now he always had to ask permission to orgasm and that will never change going forward. In the first few years there were times where I would go several months without really dominating him so I am sure there were times where he broke the rule but the expectation that he had to ask for permission to orgasm was always there.

After a few years he asked if I would be interested in a formal WLM in which we both formally acknowledge that I was in control and he was not my equal in the marriage. By then I knew enough that it was a good idea and I agreed. It still took me another few years before I fully embraced his submission and my roles as the dominant leader. As noted in my previous response it took 5 to 7 years for things to click for me and to fully embrace the WLM. During that time it was a bit of a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs and frustrations. Early on it was a lot of him giving me ideas and telling me what to do.  As I gradually learned what he liked and started to really understand the submissive dynamic and mindset, I became more confident and needed less input from him. Now I am fully in control and he does not tell me what to do. He still gives me some ideas and I will use them sometimes but I am in complete control.

6.       Describe your current WLM/FLR situation

a.       Chores He does pretty much all the chores inside and outside the house. If they are not done timely or to my expectations, he is punished or disciplined.  I still cook because I enjoy it. He always takes care of the car for me including putting gas in and any maintenance. When we are together, he always drives me. If I have errands to do I usually make him drive me around.

b.       Finances/Money I control how the money is spent. He has a weekly allowance and must ask permission if he wants to make a big purchase. I of course spend whatever I want. The money he earns belongs to me.  He pays all the bills and manages the bank accounts with my oversight. I like it that way because it is less work for me and he is very good with handling finances.

c.       Rules/Protocols There are lots of rules and protocols for him. It was not always that way. They have developed over many years as our WLM evolved and shaped. In the early years I don’t think he or I could have handled all the rules and protocols that are in place now. It would have been too overwhelming. However, as he matured and grew in his submission he was able to take on more chores and more rules. It’s interesting how each year new things are added but very few things go away 😊. Some examples of rules: he is not allowed to sit in my chair in the family room, he must ask permission to go out with friends, he must hand wash the panties that he wears, and he may not speak in a negative tone to me.

d.       Punishment and Discipline Absolutely! He is punished when he is bad, which is not that often because he is trained well and wants to be a good boy for me. Punishments usually involve corner time and taking privileges away such as sports and time with his friends. I do not punish with spankings. Regular discipline involves weekly reviews of his behavior and chores. He does 15 minutes of corner time every week as a reminder of his submission to me and to help him stay focused on serving me. If anything in his weekly review comes up negative, his corner time is extended. In the past I used spanking for his weekly review and discipline (much different than spanking as a punishment-not as harsh).

e.       Chastity/Orgasm Control I control his orgasms. He must ask for permission to orgasm. He does not wear a chastity device. It is very random when I allow an orgasm. Usually he goes 2 -3 months between orgasms. I love to tease him to the brink of orgasm! It is exciting for me to see him strain and struggle and try not to orgasm.

f.        Rituals, Protocols, routines Massages and baths are ritualistic. For both he is naked or in panties. When he massages me, he must kiss every body part before he massages it. When done, he kneels beside me quietly and waits to be released or for my next order. For baths he runs the bath for me, lights candles, and gets my robe and towel ready. He kneels beside the tub and starts by shaving my legs and then washes my body. When done he dries my body and puts my robe on me.  We also have a weekly routine for his review/discipline session. He must shower and shave (both face and between his legs) in preparation. He stands before me naked while I review his “performance” during the week and set the expectations for the next week. He is disciplined or punished if he did not meet expectations in any area in the past week. Then he massages me and if I am in the mood, I allow him to pleasure me.

g.       Fetishes or kinks He wears panties every day and sleeps naked at night. He has a special pair that he must wear during and after punishments and a special frilly pair that he wears on weekends.  Nothing else out of the ordinary.

7.       How public is your WLM/FLR – do others know about it? How do you act in public?

We do not openly discuss our WLM in public but it is so ingrained in our lifestyle that I know others notice. I have had several friends that have commented, “he is trained well,” and one even referred to him in front of others as a submissive person. My mom has commented that she loves that she tells him what to do and he does it. They all know that he is wrapped around my finger but I have not talked with anyone, including my family, about our formal WLM arrangement. I also do not overtly dominate him in public but there have been a few times where my domination with him has shown through just as a natural reaction from me.

8.       Do you have kids in the house? If yes, what age group (infant, toddler, teenager, adult)

Yes. Teenagers.

9.       Describe how the WLM/FLR works with kids in the house

It’s a similar dynamic as to what I described in question 7 above. I am not overtly dominant in front of the kids and they have never been told that their Dad is submissive to me.  However, they know from example that I am in charge. Our WLM started prior to having kids so the dynamic has existed ever since they were born. To them it is just normal to see their Dad cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, ironing clothes, etc. It is normal to see their Dad “jump” when I tell him to do something and it is normal to see me reprimanding him and him not arguing back. The kids do notice that my husband works very hard for me. My husband has told them that he enjoys pampering me and treating me like a queen.

10.   What are some of challenges you face in your WLM/FLR?

The biggest challenge over the years has been exerting control consistently and to a degree that quells his craving to be dominated. There are some women who are just naturally dominant and demanding and so they don’t have this problem. That is not me. It was very hard in the early years. However, overtime as I became comfortable in the dominant role and learned techniques to control him, it became easier. I’ve put a lot of rules and expectations in place that have created a very structured environment for him, that makes him feel controlled without me having to be watching over him every minute of the day. Having weekly review sessions and corner time also helps. We are in a good routine now but there are still times where I get distracted and am not as strict or controlling with him and he starts to slack off on chores and he gets a little grumpy. The good thing is I am now quick to notice the signs of his neediness and nip it in the bud before it becomes a big negative. Usually I start with a punishment for his bad behavior and then up my strictness in his review sessions.

11.   What things do you like the most about your WLM/FLR?

Hmmm. There are so many things: No chores for me, no arguing from him, I give him an order and he responds immediately, no putting gas in my car, hot coffee served to me every morning, and I get to orgasm whenever I want. I could go on and on. It is great to live like a Goddess. We have also grown very close together as a result of the WLM. We communicate with each other much more frequently and are more open about our feelings. I’ve always had a wonderful connection with my husband but the WLM significantly deepened the connection and intimacy with us.

12.   How have things evolved or changed with you and as a couple in your WLM/FLR over time since starting the WLM/FLR? How does this compare to how you were prior to the WLM/FLR?

Things have changed a lot over the years. In the beginning it was just fantasy fun play. There was a lot of uncertainty from me on how to act and he topped from the bottom a lot. I was doing it mostly to satisfy him. It felt more like role playing. Now it is an integral part of our lifestyle and I am clearly in control and want to be in control. Instead of me doing it to satisfy his needs and desires, the focus is on him serving me and satisfying my needs and desires (and in turn that satisfies his needs and desires). There are much more rules for him and higher expectations. He is serving me and following my rules every day of his life. He is a much better servant to me now from all the training and discipline over the years. He knows what I like and what to do rather than me having to tell him what to do all the time. Our sex life is so much more fun and interesting 😊. As a person, I am much more confident and have a higher self-esteem as a result of our WLM. Dominating and controlling him does not feel awkward anymore. It comes more naturally to me now. I also notice that I am more dominant when dealing with other men. It truly has been a life changing experience for me.

13.   If there were one or two things you could change about your WLM/FLR would they be?

If that question was asked several years ago, I’d probably have a few things to change. However, we’ve been in our WLM for so long that I’ve had the time to shape it just the way I want it and mold my husband into my perfect obedient slave. WLM is great right now! We are so in tune with each other. If I could change one thing in the past it would be that I wish I figured out the submissive dynamic much quicker and embraced my dominance and his submission much sooner. That is why I started my blog – to help others get there quicker.

14.   Do you have any advice for others who are starting out in a WLM/FLR?

Have fun with it and understand that WLM is a lifetime journey. Expect challenges and setbacks but never give up. Learn from others who are in a WLM/FLR but know that every relationship is different and so what works for someone else may not work for you. Stick with the things that really resonate with you and your core values.

15.   Is there anything else you what like to share?

WLM has been a great journey for us as couple. My husband was very patient and persistent with me in the first few years. I think that was key in keeping the journey going. Without him continually encouraging me forward and showing me how I would benefit from it, I probably would not have stuck with it. He gave a lot of appreciation for the little things I did early on, which helped me understand what he liked and it also gave me more confidence and desire to do more. I am glad he was persistent and did not give up. As noted in an earlier response, WLM has been life changing for me (and for him to). Our marriage has never been stronger and we are having a great time with each other.  The journey continues…….