Real Life Examples of FLM in action (by David)

In an earlier post, a reader commented how it was obvious his friend was in a FLM because he was afraid to let his wife know how much he paid for a stereo, fearing his wife's disapproval.  Below, our guest contributor, David share some real life experiences of his own. Thanks for sharing David.

 In our home Ms. Debbie doesn't permit me to make major purchases without her knowledge or participation. The last item she permitted me to select was a new iron; of course she deferred to me since, in our home, I do all the ironing so she let me chose. It was funny but we went into three stores and at each one the sales person originally directed their sales pitch at Ms. Debbie who informed each of them that I did the ironing and so I would be the one making the selection. I informed Ms. Debbie of my choice and she agreed, saying “So, this is the one you want?”To which I replied, “Yes, Ma'am”. The lady, making the sale, was impressed with the control Ms. Debbie had and commented that she wished her hubby did the ironing to which Ms. Debbie commented, “He can, and will if you insist on it. Men respond well if told what to do”. Old stereotypes don't apply in FLMs...

Another instance we were at a restaurant and the waiter was surprised when Ms. Debbie ordered for herself and then for me. The waiter missed his cue even after I responded “Yes, Ma'am” to a question she posed. Nevertheless, complying with the rules off patriarchy, the waiter focused his attention on me throughout the meal despite my efforts to redirect attention to Ms. Debbie. When the check was presented it was placed in front of me. Ms. Debbie took the check and provided her credit card and told him, “The sooner you learn how to treat a modern women, the better your tip will be”. She left him a minimal tip and complained to the manager. Two weeks later we visited the same restaurant and had the same waiter whose service was completely focused on Ms. Debbie. She commented to the waiter, “it seems you've learned some lessons, little man”. Indeed he had. After our last visit the restaurant manager conducted some 'gender awareness' training that made the wait staff aware of how they should treat a 'modern woman'.

Another instance concerned my after work activities. A group of guys from work were planning an after work social of sorts and I was asked to go with them. Now our FLM had some rules concerning the husband's outside activities and I announced that I couldn't go without my wife's permission – a response that took them back and resulted in some smirks and laughter. I made a call on my office speaker phone to Ms. Debbie's cell phone – she was out of town on business – and asked her permission. Within earshot, “Definitely not”, was her response, adding that I was behind on my chores and that I had better get my priorities straight. “Well, Ms. Debbie says “No” so it looks like I can't go,” I responded. Hoots of laughter followed with one so called 'friend' commenting “we know who wears the pants in your family, and who wears the pantyhose.” “Are you wearing pantyhose?” one guy, laughing, asked. Another chimed in, “What's with the Ms. Debbie thing, do you always call her Ms. Debbie?” Another added, “what does she call you, sissy David?” More laughs and a comment, “you are really pussy-whipped”. The guys left for the bar laughing and tossing more derogatory comments. Now maybe I could have gone any way but I dared not disobey Ms. Debbie – not only was I conditioned to obey, but had I gone, one or more of Ms. Debbie's woman friends who worked in my office and always kept tabs on me, would have surely let her know, resulting some serious discipline. After they left one of Ms. Debbie's woman friends, Phyllis, came to my office and said, “We heard the whole thing and you did the right thing.” She added, “but you shouldn't have asked at all, you know you have things that need tended to”. Both women posed a rhetorical question, “who do you want to please, your wife or a bunch of jerks? The answer was obvious – Ms. Debbie. The next day the harassment from the guys continued but Phillis went to our HR manager and two of the guys received a reprimand. The negative comments continued and I'm an outsider with the guys but – more importantly my stature with the women, particularly Ms. Debbie's friends, was enhanced. When Ms. Debbie returned I was given a few face slaps and admonished not to “ask stupid questions” and her rules on going out were reviewed I was rewarded when the net week I was given permission to have an after work social at the bar with Ms. Debbie's office friends, Phillis, Joan, and Charlene. The girls laughing reviewed the events of the last week and posed two questions: was I pussy-whipped like the guys said?” and “were you wearing pantyhose the night the guys wanted me to go out? To the first question my response was a resounding, “YES”. As for my wearing pantyhose as the guys alleged, well I left that question to their imagination...

David

A First Time Cuckolding Experience (By Debbie)

Please welcome our next guest poster, Debbie. Debbie was kind enough to share some background about her WLM with her husband David and their early foray into cuckolding. Thanks Debbie! Enjoy.....


I'm in a woman-led marriage with my submissive husband, David. I'm not new to femdom. My mother and aunt exercised iron clad authority telling their husbands what to do, how to do it, and when. And if their husbands didn't follow suit there was absolute hell to pay. Neither my mom or aunt worked outside the home but they didn't work inside the home either. Mom didn't do housework; she'd say she didn't want to risk breaking a nail doing something that her husband should be doing. Chores were strictly the responsibility of their husbands. Mom busied herself with soap operas, shopping, weekly trips to the beauty shop, frequent manicures, lounging by the pool, lunches with her girlfriends and, yes, entertaining boyfriends. Their husbands never objected, preferring to be told what to do rather than risk stepping out of line. The 'man-of-the-house did the cleaning, washing, ironing, and whatever else mom wanted done as spelled out on a note pad conspicuously posted in the kitchen. Mom created a certain tension frequently criticizing her husband's work and demonstrating her authority. I learned that many men are submissive and want the woman in their lives to take control. It's a lesson I took into my marriage to David.

My husband, David, a well-educated, professionally employed man who is easily pushed around by women at home and at work. I have always had my way with him. He does what he's told and does it how I want it done. David does ALL the domestic chores at home and sometimes for my mother and sister, both of whom live nearby. David loves being told what to do – it's exciting for him when I give him orders and criticism. I love bossing him around. I NEVER expected to have the situation mom and my aunt had but here I am! Our pre-nuptial that spells out that my happiness takes precedence – ALWAYS! David sounds ideal and, as a housekeeper and servant, he is. What's the problem? He's absolutely lousy in bed. Size, stamina, strength are all lacking – he's pathetic! No amount of counseling, doctor visits, and blue pills has worked. Soooo, I have to look elsewhere for sex. Honestly though, I would have done so even if David were fantastic in bed. I love flirting, the attention of other men and the excitement of a new lover.

I'm a flirt, always having my skirt a little shorter, my heels a little higher, and my make up just so. And yes, I do flirt when I'm out with my husband. Anyway, about a year after being married a guy at work was making passes at me, wanting to have dinner with him. He was younger and in great shape; yes, I was interested in him. That night I went home and told David I wanted to start dating again. I didn't wait for his reaction and tore into him reminding him that MY happiness, not his, was the basis of our marriage, something we'd agreed on in our pre-nuptial. “It's only a date”, I told him and said he shouldn't be so damn selfish. I'm not sure what he felt but he seemed to be a little excited and, with my permission, he went back to his chores. I'd worried that I just might lose my houseboy but I didn't understand just how deep submissiveness ran. He seemed so accepting that I was sure I'd have it my way all around.

My date with Rob was set for Friday; as a 'first date' we planned to have dinner and then go to a bar for drinks and dancing. Now a girl never has anything to wear so I took Friday off to buy a new club dress, have my hair done, and do my nails. I added some jewelry and a new pair of heels. Rob was picking me up at 7:00 so I started getting ready at 5:00. David, being the attentive little man he was, ran a nice bubble bath, complete with scented candles, and a glass of wine. It was so exciting for me and, I sensed, for David, too. I did my make up, slipped into a pair of thigh high nylons, thong panties, and my club dress. I felt David was taken back by the dress; it had a neckline that plunged to my waist prohibiting me from wearing a bra – all the better to show off my boobs! Long dangling earrings, a necklace David had bought me for my birthday, a clutch purse, and my wedding and engagement rings completed my outfit. I went to put on my heels and David knelt before me guiding my feet into the strappie sandals and fastening the straps – just what I'd expect from my houseboy! The doorbell rang, it was my mother and sister. My sister came to meet Rob and see me off. Mom took David to her house where she put David to work for the evening cleaning her house – a perfect evening for my houseboy! I don't know if David expected to meet Rob but he wasn't going to meet Rob – not yet anyway. “It's all about my pleasure, little man”, I commented to David, feeling my power over him surge. “Mom will bring you back when it's time and don't wait up”, I said, all of we ladies giggling. Shortly after mom took David and shortly thereafter Rob arrived and our evening started. It was all very exciting for all of us, David included! 

Rob and I had a great dinner and then went to a bar for drinks and some 'dirty dancing'. I enjoyed myself immensely, all the more since people knew that I was David's wife and Rob wasn't David. We returned home and I invited Rob in for a drink. I'm sure Rob expected sex but he had to be satisfied fondling my easily accessible boobs. I teased Rob telling him I wanted another night when we'd stay in instead of going out. We kissed deeply as he ran his hands over my body. He was gone soon after. I pored myself a drink and called mom telling her about the evening and asking her to bring my houseboy home. My sister called, and I filled her in on the evening. When David arrived I had him serve mom and I a drink and sent him off to the spare bedroom for the night. I know he wanted to know what transpired but I didn't tell him a thing – after all it was about MY pleasure, not his, although mom said he spent the entire evening wondering what I was doing. At one point he asked mom if she thought I was thinking about him. She laughed and said, “I really doubt it. I went to the master bedroom, locking the door behind me wondering whether I should have had sex with Rob. No matter it was a great evening!

Debbie

The Happy "House Husband"

It has been several weeks since I assigned full laundry duty to Thomas.  Laundry is the last of the "big" chores that I was still doing.  I say "big" because of the time commitment involved with keeping up with laundry in a house of 4 people. I have to admit I was concerned about putting too much work on him but it has all worked out well.  He had a few slips ups in the beginning but now he is in a good routine and I have not had to help at all for the last few weeks. What is fascinating to me is that he seems happy and proud of taking on this responsibility. If this scenario played out in a traditional marriage, it's almost certain the husband would complain about doing all the chores and he would probably slack off on the chores. It's actually hard to imagine that it's even a possibility in a traditional marriage. Prior to entering into a FLR, the possibility of my husband happily doing all the house chores for me, was not even a thought. Here we are many, many years later and it is our reality and it is going great. It works well in a FLR.

There is certainly no complaints from me. It is heaven for me not to have to worry about cleaning the bathroom, ironing, vacuuming, and doing laundry. I'm guessing just about every women reading this would agree that is a wonderful thing. The part that is hard to understand is how my husband happily does all the chores. I will do my best to explain the "how" or "why" of it all. My explanation is based on things my husband has shared with me as well as my observations and things I've read in the past from others in a FLR.

From what I gather there are three key factors at play which create this unusual dynamic. The first is his desire to serve and please me. That comes from his submissive nature. The more that he serves me, works for me, and can treat me like a Goddess or Queen, the more  it makes him happy and even excited. Yes, it arouses him to work hard for me and serve me! That is something I can not explain.  It is the submissive part of him that gets excited at being a servant to me. His primary motivator for doing the chores is to please me. Having a clean house is just an extra benefit.

The second factor is having clear expectations and structure. He has clearly defined expectations of what needs to be done and when. It is a tall list of expectations and tasks. The only way for him to stay on top of it all is to have a regular routine. From morning to night, he's got a regular routine of tasks that he does every day. Even on the weekends he follows a routine to get the needed things done. This structure keeps him productive and happy. He's busy and has a lot to do but it's not stressful (most of the time) because he knows what to do. When you think about it, this makes sense. People tend to be happy and less stressed when you take away uncertainty and they are doing productive things. Not everyone likes a structured environment but my sense is that most submissive men are happiest in this type of environment when it's created by their wife.

The last factor comes from me. I tap into his sexual needs and desires to motivate him to serve me and to reward him for his obedience. I do this through the many tools I've wrote about in my past posts, including orgasm control, lots of teasing, and embracing his submissive tendencies (e.g. exerting control over him, putting him in panties, queening him, etc.). With the extra time I gained from delegating laundry duty, I've been able to increase my focus on these motivators and it has been a great win-win situation for us. He absolutely loves all the additional teasing and attention from me and I benefit from having a clean house and chores done without doing any of the work. I am living the life of a Goddess and Queen and it is fabulous. In one of my past posts I wrote about how in a FLR, the wife should take the perspective of managing her husband versus doing things herself. It is a big change from a traditional marriage and not always an easy step to take. For many years in my FLR, I only half did this and it was a bit stressful for me. Once I fully embraced the concept and focused on managing Thomas through regularly assigning tasks, setting expectations, motivating him, providing feedback on his performance, discipline, punishment, and rewards, it made things much easier  and enjoyable for me and much more exciting for him.

All three factors are needed to make it work. If there is no desire from the husband to please and serve the wife, then it's obviously not going to work. If there is desire from the husband but there are no clear expectations and structure then it creates confusion and stress. It can even lead to depression like feelings in the husband as he can not fulfill his desires. Lastly, if the wife chose to delegate chores to the husband and spent all her extra time doing things for herself and not pay attention to him, at some point the husband will feel like he is being taken advantage of and will lose the desire to please. It is important for the wife to frequently do things to motivate and reward the husband, as well as express her appreciation for his obedience.

Please share your thoughts or real life experiences on this topic.

-Kaylee