A Typical Weekend in My Wife Led Marriage

Weekends for us are less structured then week days but I still have lots of tasks and expectations for Thomas. He is required to do a full house cleaning, which includes the bathrooms, vacuuming, and changing the sheets on the bed. He also takes care of the yard and gardens as needed, does the weekly grocery shopping and puts gas in my car. When he is doing the house chores on the weekend he is required to wear sissy maid panties and a cock strap. If the kids are out of the house, then he does the indoor chores in nothing but the panties. I love seeing him scurry around in them. If the kids are home, then he wears them under his clothes.

On weekends, I make him drive me around for any errands that I want to do. I may also send him on his own (in his errand outfit) to do errands. Less structure is needed because we may have kids activities to go to, social events, family events, or I may have errands to do. In general, I expect him to get the chores done by the end of the weekend regardless of the events of the weekend. However, there are times where I need to make exceptions because we are tied up for most of the weekend with social or famiy events. When that happens, he needs to finish up on Monday and he is required to wear the maid parities all day Monday.

It is fantastic for me as I get to relax on the weekend and may hang out with a few girl friends while he is working. We're a days trip to the beach so in the summer I may head to the beach for the day or weekend while he works. He may, with my permission, hang out with "the guys" on the weekends but he still needs to get his chores done. However, most of the time we do social events together. Sundays are typically reserved for ourselves so he turns down requests from his friends to hang out on Sunday.   

Weekends are also when I do his weekly review, which incudes his maintenance corner time. His reviews are mostly positive, which is the way it should be. If your husband is not consistently doing well then that's a problem that needs to be solved. Weekends are also when I allow him to pleasure me. It's not to say that I never allow him to pleasure me during the week, but most of the time I am just too tired for it on a week night. When there is pleasure for me it usually includes teasing for him but sometimes I just want to be pleased! He gets such a thrill out of pleasuring me, that even if I don't touch him, he is fully aroused and loves it so do not have pity on him. It is a privilege for him to pleasure me.

I will indulge in kinky play every now and then on the weekends, but it is not too frequent. I just need to be in the right mood and often have to plan for it. Long weekends and vacations are always great for getting me in the kink mood. Although every once in awhile it just strikes me in the heat of the moment. Those are often the best times! Of course, kinky means different things for different people. A lot of what I do on a daily basis would be considered kinky to others but for us, it's not kink unless it's outside of the normal routine. There are many people who say kink is not needed in a WLM. The people who say that are usually the ones who are not getting it-lol! It's like saying you don't need an easy pass at the amusement park. Yeah- that's true, but when I do have easy pass, the experience is so much better!! So while it is true that you can have a good WLM without kink, I believe kink takes the WLM from good to awesome. It is fun and truly does motivate submissive guys and keep them happy!

Back to the topic of weekends.....My weekends are loosely structured but one thing I do my best to keep consistent is the weekly review and corner time. That's been a game changer in our relationship. It keeps us in tune with each other and helps recharge Thomas and keep him focused on me. I have learned that for the benefit of both him and I, it is better to do a short review than no review at all. If you miss one review, then it makes it easier to miss the next one, and next thing you no you are off track.

So there you have it - I've shared the typical week in my WLM. There certainly are many other rules and expectations that factor into it and there are always different activities and events that may require the structure to flex a bit, but hopefully you get the general idea of how it works. Some people run their WLMs in a more extreme way and others are less extreme. You have to do what works best for you!

What questions do you have?

-Mz Kaylee.

A Typical Day in my Wife Led Marriage

During the week, every morning when I wake up, I have a hot cup of coffee, breakfast, and neatly pressed clothes waiting for me.  After breakfast, Thomas cleans up after me and then goes upstairs to make the bed, while I am on my way to work. Soon after, he is off to work, wearing panties under his clothes. He is required to dress in panties every day. During the work day we typically do not text or talk with each other unless there is a need. 

When I return home from work, I prepare dinner. I enjoy cooking so it is not a chore to me. Thomas  gets to enjoy the luxury of having dinner ready for him when he comes home from work. After dinner, I get up from the table, leaving all my dishes and trash for Thomas to clean up. He used to to do this at his leisure, but earlier this year I made it a rule that he needs to clean the dining room and kitchen and load the dishwasher immediately after we eat and not at his convenience. Once dinner is done I relax and watch TV or read. I sit in "my chair" which Thomas is not permitted to sit in. In the past I would often do errands at night but now I assign most of those to Thomas. I tell him what errands he needs to do and he obeys without complaint. He has a special errand outfit that he must wear anytime he does errands for me. It consists of a pair of pink silky panties accented with black and pink lace ribbons, a studded strap that goes around the base of his cock, and a butt plug. Anytime I give him an errand to do, he changes into this outfit and then when he returns home, he removes the items and changes back to his normal panties. Errands for him are not an every day thing. Usually just once or twice a week but sometimes for fun, I will give him two separate errands in the same day so that he has to change in and out of the outfit more than once. I just love that he is walking around in public with a plug up his ass. It keeps him in a very submissive mind while he is away from me and certainly keeps him out of trouble. I've noticed that he usually horny after errands.

In the evenings, if time allows, Thomas may watch TV with me. We have a few Netflix and DVR shows that we like to watch together. While watching the shows Thomas will often be folding laundry or starting a new load of laundry. He is 100% responsible for keeping up with all the laundry in the house. Around 9pm I head upstairs to get ready for bed. I lay out my work clothes for the day and take a shower or bath. While I am in the bathroom, Thomas will iron my clothes. Then I am off to bed and Thomas goes downstairs to finish up his nightly duties, which include emptying the dishwasher, letting the dog out, tidying up the house so it looks nice for me in the morning, hand washing his panties, and locking up for the night. Then he quietly slips into bed naked. He is not permitted to wear anything while sleeping.

That is a typical day in my house. As you can see Thomas wakes up before me and goes to sleep after me every day. Most of his day is focused on serving me and it is wonderful. I also enjoy having a clean house every day and not having  to lift a finger to do it. Take note that with the exception of errands, he does all these things without being told. On a typical day, I am not standing over him barking orders and criticizing his every move, as many guys fantasize about. That is not a practical or sustainable way of running a WLM. I don't want to spend my day being a bitch. No, I'd rather have him do everything for me without being told and have him pamper and obey me without question and without drama. Guys, that is what women want. That is the life of a Goddess! Also, notice that my typical day does not involve sex. Sorry to bust the fantasy but WLM does not mean you are having lots of sex or that every night I am donning leather and whips and ordering him to worship me. If Thomas is lucky I will give him a "rub" or two during the day just enough to get his arousal going. These rubs are good motivators for him. It's like petting the dog.

Having said all that, there is a definite dominate and submissive dynamic present every day. I tell him things more than ask. He knows what is expected of him and knows that he will be punished or disciplined if he disobeys or does not meet my expectations. Punishments are rare. If I am having to punish him frequently, then there are issues in the relationship. A good obedient slave rarely needs to be punished. I am also very forthcoming with him when I feel he is not meeting expectations, making mistakes or is showing a bad attitude. I keep a very high standard for him. He is open to my criticism and obeys without complaint and accepts punishment or discipline when it is given. On occasion he may get defensive and I immediately point out his defensiveness and he quiets down.

It all sounds so simple, but it took many years for us to get to this place. It was a bit of a roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and downs, but well worth the ride. Nowadays there are lots of ups with very few downs.

Weekends are a different story and there are things that I do to keep the WLM running like a well oiled machine. It does not just happen on its own. I incorporate kink and sexual fun, as you can tell by my posts. It's just not an every day thing. I will write more in my next post.

-Mz Kaylee  

Guest Post: A Male Perspective on the Paradigm Shift (by Mike)

Mike was kind enough to share a post on his perspective on the paradigm shift. Much of what he writes is consistent with what is experienced in our WLM.  I can also relate to how his wife was initially concerned about denying orgasm but now it is barely a thought :). My husband mentioned the other week that he could not remember the last time he had an orgasm but he knew it was more than 3 months. I hadn't even realized it. lol! It just seems normal to tease him without allowing an orgasm and for him to not orgasm during sex. Enjoy Mike's post.  -Mz Kaylee

I thought a few things could be said about the paradigm shift from the hub's perspective regarding sex. Not to make it all about sex, but who doesn't like talking about sex :). Many have mentioned similar experiences as it's part of the journey and shift.  I think a few could relate

Pre WLM, in our traditional marriage, we would have sex when I wanted. I would receive oral a good amount of the time and I would initiate these times whenever I was in the mood and horny. I suppose you could say I was in control.  I would have an orgasm each and every time. I rarely would give my wife oral and I know at times we had sex when she felt obligated and not in the mood. The sex life was decently good. My mindset was typically such as, if enough time went by, I was horny again and needed sex. Or I would masturbate to get a release. Looking back, I actually feel a little bad my behavior appeared selfish and deplorable.

The paradigm shift occurred when we established our WLM, which like many, didn't evolve over night. My wife took control of our sex life decisions, my orgasms, and other aspects of the marriage. 

Today, I don't get a release unless given permission or have sex unless she requests it. I never receive oral and I give her oral very often. Everything has changed completely, for the better.

This paradigm shift, in hindsight, looks difficult to comprehend with the transition made.  I'm aroused by small things she does, horny everyday, and yet I don't get a relief.  I have no control and have become a servant to her needs and pleasure. 

What's fascinating now is that I don't constantly seek the next sexual encounter. I'm not counting days with anxiety until I have an orgasm.  I actually may pass if had the opportunity to have one.  Like mz Kaylee said, the mind fuck is our daily sex. Physical sex is just another route, privilege, or bonus that happens. 

What's odd is that my cock seems like it has its own mind than what I desire.  My cock gets hard, has erections, and enjoys stimulation.  A hard cock looks for relief and a release, to cum. That's usually the end game of why it's erect. However, I've been trained and disciplined to follow the opposite behavior. No relief will be given, ignore the erections, and I know no orgasm will be rewarded. It's like two minds are watching and battling each other. 

In our beginning of the WLM, my wife felt bad or concerned leaving me hard after sex or oral. I was supportive and encouraging. And now, it's not even an after thought for her. A few days ago, I asked if she had any plans for a full orgasm for me anytime. She said she really had not thought about it much. And she's said this before. She felt the ruined orgasms were sufficient for me. I smiled and agreed. She has found her balance she enjoys.

She also wondered if I enjoyed sex in our beginning WLM. That also is no longer an after thought.  When she wants oral, she simply requests it at her convenience, and I stay dressed, to give it, unless permitted otherwise.  She understands she can have her orgasms whenever she pleases as conveniently as she wishes. It isn't ceremonious, or ritualistic. Just direct spontaneous instructions.

When she wants intercourse, I'm expected to be hard, without any touching or foreplay by her. She no longer finds the need or desire to be fully nude. As we fuck, all my attention is on her to serve. I listen and obey instructions for positions and speed. It's no longer for my personal enjoyment but to ensure she gets as many intense orgasms as she desires. 

Oddly enough with the paradigm shift, I prefer to give her oral even with how often and how hard I have erections. Almost makes me wonder why I still get them. She no longer touches my cock, or receive oral, or regularly have orgasms. Sex isn't a chore but it is a responsibility and a privilege. I'm to perform and the purpose is for her benefit. I play a role as a tool to be used in a loving way. 

Again, it's strange looking back at the progress and transition but it has been amazing and incredible. 

-Mike

More on the Paradigm Shift

 The paradigm shift I wrote about in my last post is an advanced topic when it comes to WLM and something that can only occur in mature WLMs. I know from past comments that many of you are in mature WLMs and so I knew that some of you could relate to the idea and understand it. I was happy to read your comments. I am sure there are also many readers who did not fully grasp the concept or understand how it could work. That is perfectly fine. Even just a few years ago, I could not have wrote the post because I did not know enough to fully comprehend it, and I've been in a WLM for about 20 years.

There are also guys who understand it or who can relate to many aspects of it, but have not made the shift yet. The largest hurdle for guys in making the shift is being able to change their primary focus from self-gratifying pleasure to experiencing pleasure through satisfying her. Most guys that are into being dominated say that their focus is on serving the woman but it is not really true. Their primary reason for submitting to a woman is to experience the pleasure of being dominated. They only want t be dominated in a way that brings them pleasure. That is fantasy play and not true submission.  Again, there is nothing wrong with fantasy play if that is what you want and if you can find a woman who is happy to engage in it from time-to-time. However, the challenge is that submissive guys want to be dominated more and more but most women do not seek out or crave domination in the same way that men crave submission. In fact, it tends to be a lot of work for us and is outside our comfort zone. A guy who is serving primarily for his own self-gratification is high maintenance and becomes tiresome to satisfy and therefore it is not a sustainable for the woman to continue or it becomes unsatisfying for her.

Those who want to succeed longer term and experience a deeper sense of fulfillment, need to channel their submission into doing things that maker her happy. Him doing all the chores that I do not like makes me happy. Pampering me and treating me nice makes me happy. Doing what I tell him or ask him to do without question or complaining makes me happy, and of course pleasuring me the way I like to be pleasured makes me happy. When a guy begins to think and act in way that takes these things into consideration, he is adding value to his submission. This makes domination more appealing to the woman. This is the right path to move down to achieve a long-term sustainable WLM/FLR and to ultimately discover the paradigm shift.

I feel I've gone through a paradigm shift in my thinking as well. In my WLM journey I started out dominating to satisfy my husbands desires. Eventually, I discovered that I could dominate in a way that benefited me while also satisfying him. Over time I used that more and more to my advantage.  However, it was quite a bit of work for me and I was often challenged with finding time to dominate him consistently. The paradigm shift occurred when I realized two critical things. The first was that being strict and demanding and holding him accountable 24/7 is what he really wanted and is what motivates him. The second realization was that I needed to stop viewing him as a traditional husband and begin to manage him like an employee or a child and make him work hard for me so that it frees up my time. For example, instead of me spending time on doing chores and errands, I spend my time managing him doing the chores and errands. Part of that management includes holding him to high expectations, reviewing his performance, and rewarding, disciplining, or punishing him based on that performance. In this new paradigm I also proactively dominate him in ways that he desires in order to bring him emotionally closer to me and motivate him to serve and obey me even more. When I exercise this type of domination it serves a purpose for me and is not just for his self-pleasure. This is a completely different mindset compared to the traditional role of a spouse and not exactly the norm in society. However, it is amazingly effective. In the end, it is a lot less work for me and it satisfies his submissive cravings and makes him want to obey me and be good for me. Now I have much more free time to do what I want and I never have to do unpleasant things like cleaning the toilets. He is loving my increased strictness and domination so it is a win-win for both of us. My standard of living has skyrocketed since I discovered the paradigm shift!

Ironically, I have written about the concepts in the above paragraph in my past posts in some form. Although I wrote about them, I struggled a bit putting them into practice. It's not always easy to do. It took time and trail and error for me to get to a point where things started to really click for me. An athlete does not become a pro overnight. It takes many years and thousands of hours of practice and repetition to build the skills and acquire the knowledge and experience to perform at a high level. The same is true as you move along the WLM journey. I can easily tell you that making the paradigm shift will make everything come together so perfectly in the WLM and be life changing but you're not going to be able to do it effectively without first going through your own WLM journey of trial and error to build your leadership and domination skills.

-Mz Kaylee