1. Who am I (name, sex, approx. age, where you live)
subhubphx (jay), male, 55, Phoenix, AZ
2. My position in the relationship (submissive, dominant, or switch? If switch, do you favor one over the other?
Submissive husband
3. What is your current marriage status and WLM/FLR situation (Married and in a WLM, not married and in a FLR, not married but seeking a FLR, etc.)? What is status of your WLM (Beginners, Mature, Somewhere in the middle)
Married and in a WLM
4. When did you first discover your submissive/dominant desires?
Probably in my early twenties. Was a fantasy to be subjugated by a female that was knowledgeable and experienced, i.e. knew what she wanted
5. Describe how WLM/FLR was introduced into your relationship? Explain your experiences of how you went from discovering submission/domination up to the point of being in a WLM/FLR?
It was an innocent joking comment made by wife about whether or not we would still be lovers after the kids left the nest. We both enjoy kink in our sex life and would switch off Dominant and submissive roles. I felt like a true, loving WLM would all but ensure that our love affair would continue when we were “alone” together again. I had to be certain that I could receive genuine joy and pleasure by being the primary source of her pleasure in servitude. So far so good.
6. Describe your current WLM/FLR situation
a. Chores Really my only dedicated always chore is to be sure that there is never a dirty dish in the house. Other chores are assigned as Mistress sees fit.
b. Finances/Money Every dime of our money is under Her control. I am the primary bread winner. I am not given an allowance or anything like that, but like any good husband, any purchases that are for pleasure matters, or in excess of say, $200, I do ask permission.
c. Rules/Protocols Every morning I am to have hot coffee ready for her the moment she wakes up. Every day I start her car, fill her water bottle, prepare a fresh cup of road coffee and escort her to her car. I am not allowed to touch myself in ANY sexual fashion whatsoever without her permission and under her direct supervision. Every morning when she emerges from the bathroom before heading to the office, I kneel before her naked body, she hands me the panties she is going to wear that day and I put them on for her.
d. Punishment and Discipline I am punished with spankings primarily. For egregious infractions I am required to very quickly masturbate to orgasm immediately preceding a harsh spanking. For even more egregious infractions, I am also put unto a cock cage for an undetermined amount of time.
e. Chastity/Orgasm Control She owns my orgasms. I am given very few full orgasms per year (2-3) and am mostly allowed ruined orgasms (6-7 per year). I am completely chaste (honor system) although Mistress will only put a cage on me when she is especially not happy with me.
f. Rituals, Protocols, routines See above Rules/Protocols
g. Fetishes or kinks Mild feminization in that I am occasionally required to wear thong panties under my work clothes. I am also required to wear a glass butt plug for an entire day, probably once a week or so. Pegging … love me some pegging.
7. How public is your WLM/FLR – do others know about it? How do you act in public?
No public at all. We are completely discrete about our WLM. That said, I am required to behave like a gentleman in public, opening doors, escorting Her to various places and I do enjoy copious amounts of PDA
8. Do you have kids in the house? If yes, what age group (infant, toddler, teenager, adult)
Yes. 2 teenagers
9. Describe how the WLM/FLR works with kids in the house
They have no idea about the extent of the kink side of our WLM marriage … we think. They do get to witness a husband that is completely and utterly in love with his wife/their mother.
10. What are some of challenges you face in your WLM/FLR?
Time. Finding enough time for us to exist naturally and privately in our WLM. Privacy …. Kids. Trying to balance the burden for Her that comes with leadership. Being able to communicate enough on things. I have more and better opportunity to participate in amazing blogs like this one than She does, and as a result there are times when I feel like I am “in this” more alone than She is.
11. What things do you like the most about your WLM/FLR?
I absolutely love the honoring and worshipping of my beloved wife. It is an amazing level of joy for me to see her happy. I also love that there is ZERO arguing. If we have a disagreement, she will consider my words/side and then make a decision as to how it will be resolved. Sometimes that includes a very red and stinging bottom, or even unwanted time in a cage, but when she says it is over … it is over. I love the comfort and joy that comes from the level of respect that Mistress has for me in my role as her submissive/slave husband, and the strength and courage She feels that exists in me to allow her to be the only person on the planet that I would submit to. In all other aspects of my life, I am Alpha.
12. How have things evolved or changed with you and as a couple in your WLM/FLR over time since starting the WLM/FLR? How does this compare to how you were prior to the WLM/FLR?
When we started out, we had bumps in the road, which were expected. One of the inherent problems was that one of us (me) was naturally more immersed in the core beliefs associated with a WLM and as such, Mistress K. was at a distinct disadvantage conceptually. She was eager to experience the joy we now have on a daily basis, but we weren’t able to avoid the pitfalls that comes from the age old problem “topping from the bottom” of her eager to help submissive husband. *smile
The biggest change? After starting our WLM, I would no longer masturbate in the shower 4-6 times a week. We all know what a problem that is.
13. If there were one or two things you could change about your WLM/FLR or one or two things new you would like to try, what would they be?
I do find myself wanting for Mistress to broaden her horizons when it comes to limits, and wanting my limits tested on a daily basis. In other words …. Growth.
I would enjoy seeing Mistress take on a female sub in an “as needed, as desired” role in order to indulge her desire to be intimate with a woman.
14. Do you have any advice for others who are starting out in a WLM/FLR?
Yes. Don’t let yourself assume that there are hard and fast rules for how you should live your lives together. Its human nature to want to be able to “do it right”, but doing it right is NOT determined by anyone but you. Also, be careful not to get caught up in labels.
15. Is there anything else you what like to share?
We used the cage exactly the same, usually as a punishment, but often just because we had done something sexually arousing and I had been denied. She was afraid I was too aroused and would cheat and masturbate. Around the first of the year she said she was going to make me wear it full time, something I was totally against. Mid July it happened and she has not backed off since. She told me "Alan, you have no idea what a change in your behavior wearing the cage has on you". I don't think I am any different, but she sees something she likes and in the end it is all about her. Really love your blog,-Alan
ReplyDelete