Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Fun With Orgasm Control-The Negotiation

 When the mood strikes me and I feel like toying with Thomas, I will negotiate his his orgasm or add conditions to earning his orgasm. Well....it is not much of a negotiation because he has absolutely no leverage, but I like to make him think that he has some ability to negotiate. This always turns into a fun erotic mind game for him. I'll push his limits to see how desperate and weak he becomes.

The negotiation and conditions can start before the teasing begins. For couples who have established days or dates for orgasm, it can be fun for the wife to start a few days in advance and demand tasks be done prior to his orgasm day. Not completing the tasks in time and to expectations could result in pushing back the orgasm date, the orgasm date being skipped, or a ruined orgasm. The tasks could be extra chores or errands above and beyond his normal chores such as scrubbing the refrigerator clean, cleaning and organizing your shoes, and polishing the door knobs. For added enjoyment, make him do them naked or while wearing a special outfit. The tasks could also be intended to humiliate him or reinforce his submission to you. For example, you could require him to buy himself panties and lingerie for himself and wear them every day until his orgasm day. The point here is that he is working extra hard to earn his orgasm or he is humiliating himself or doing something very submissive in order to earn his orgasm. 

It gets even more exciting when you negotiate these things when he has been edged over and over again and is desperate for orgasm. Perhaps you hold out pretty panties and demand he put them on or lose the opportunity for orgasm. Even better, make him beg you to put them on and make him tell you he wants to wear them for you. If he hesitates or resists, well then I guess he does not want to really orgasm. There are so many things you can negotiate: lick your ass, bark like a dog, hump your leg, beg to be pegged by your strap-on, drink your pee....the list is endless! When his mind is mush and he is teetering on the edge, he will turn into a slut and do just about anything. Remember that this is all being done in good fun. Having my husband under my complete control and willing to do anything is thrilling. One of the most exciting things for me is when he has that look of 'I can't believe I'm doing this,' while at the same time his cock his swollen harder than ever. His hard cock is proof that he is  loving it! Trust me, it is a thrilling mind fuck for the guy when he is manipulated like this. When he has been teased over and over again and is consumed in arousal, the more humiliating and crazy things you make him do, the more mind blowing and exciting it is for him. He may even feel ashamed afterward, but that is exactly the mind fuck that he craves and that is the mind fuck that he will remember for years to come. I once made my husband retrieve a tampon and stick it up his ass and then stroke himself to orgasm in front of me. He did it and was completely aroused by it. He later confessed to me that it was one of the most embarrassing and thrilling experiences. I still sometimes tease that if he is not good that I will make him buy his own tampons and wear them to work. He gets all quiet at the mention of it and I know he also gets aroused thinking about it.

All the things I mentioned so far, can be put into action before he has an orgasm or while he orgasms. For example, you can make him hump your leg to an orgasm or make him lick your ass before you decide to let him orgasm. How many things can you get him to do for just one orgasm? He is sure to go deep into subspace, when he is seduced into doing more and more things for you. It is also fun to make him confess or promise things, even if they are not true. Make him confess that he will do anything for you or that he is weak. Make him confess that he likes to dress like a pretty girl for you or that he is a sissy for you. If he resists, tell him that is just fantasy and that you want him to do it for your amusement (you can later tease him that he confessed this to you). Do not let him orgasm until he gives in to your demands! Fantasy confessions have quite a psychological impact because once he confesses it, the thought will resurface in his mind again at another time and he may even get aroused by it. Make him confess something enough times and he may begin to believe it or like it. 

You can also negotiate for things to be done after the orgasm. He must promise to lick up his mess afterward. If he does not agree, then no orgasm for him. Make him promise that if you allow an orgasm he has to buy you something, take you on a trip, or do extra chores. I have a standing rule that my husband has to buy me a gift after every orgasm that I allow for him. Orgasms are never free for him! There are many women who require that their man always lick up his cum after an orgasm (and there are many creative ways to make him do it).

If you really want to get into the mind games, you can give him choices that affect the timing of his orgasm.  For example: 'I will let you orgasm two days before your orgasm date, if you wear a bra to the grocery store' or 'I will let you out of your chastity device for 1-day but then your orgasm date gets pushed back two weeks.'  A few days later, offer to tease him out of the cage for 10 minutes for the price of pushing his orgasm back another 2 weeks. I think it's fun to sometimes give him options where you know he is going to say no to the option and stick with the the denial. For example, I doubt my husband would agree to wear a bra in public. Of course, you may be surprised at what he agrees to when he is all horned up. Even when he does not choose the option, it is still a thrill for him because he knows that he gave up the option for an orgasm and for just a second or two, the thought of doing the option (i.e. wearing a bra in public) ran through his mind. 

You can have a lot of fun throwing different scenarios out him to choose from:

  • When he is desperate to cum and knows that after he orgasms, the next orgasm will not come for 2 months, would he choose a ruined orgasm now or a full orgasm a week from now? 
  • Would he choose to have PIV sex now if it meant that his orgasm would be pushed back a month? 
  • Would he give up a night out with his friends if you were offering to give him an orgasm that night (and he is foolish enough to choose his friends over time with you then he should be punished swiftly). 
My husband loves when I queen him so I once had him teetering on the edge of orgasm and whispered while I stroked him, "I can give an orgasm right now or I can allow you to worship my pussy while I Queen you.  You have 10 strokes to decide."

There are endless scenarios and games you can play and guys absolutely love the mind fuck. What better way to create a loyal and dedicated slave than to be the woman who knows how to fuck his mind so bad that he can not think straight. It is really bizarre but these crazy moments often turn into deep intimate moments that bring you closer together as couple. I've experienced it myself and I have had many people write or comment to me that they have experienced it. It is truly an incredible experience when this happens.

Every now and then when my husbands wants an orgasm he will try to start the negotiation with me, telling me that he will do whatever I want for an orgasm. Silly boy! First of all, I know that he really is looking for a tease and not an orgasm. Second, he does not get to initiate the negotiation. I don't know why he tries because my response is always, "I don't need to negotiate. You'll do whatever I want anyway slave."  He knows not to push further or I may just start assigning him tasks. Isn't it ironic that he has no leverage whatsoever, but when he is aroused or desperate for orgasm, he will still fall right into the negotiation trap?

Have fun Goddesses. Start negotiating your husband into erotic oblivion!


-Mz Kaylee 














Sunday, February 7, 2021

Fun With Orgasm Control-Giving Permission to Orgasm

When it comes to orgasm control, most people focus on orgasm denial. However, giving permission to orgasm is a very important aspect of orgasm control. It is exciting for the both the guy and the woman when he asks for permission to orgasm and she says 'yes,' and he immediately explodes into orgasm. Her "Yes," gives him instant pleasure and fills him with gratitude toward her for allowing the pleasure. That is powerful. It is even more powerful when she commands him to cum and he releases immediately. There are many fun ways to send him into the bliss of orgasm.

Just say Yes! The approach that I use most often, which is not very often since my husband does not get many orgasms :), is to simply say ‘Yes’ when he is on edge and begging. Then the flood gates open and it's instant orgasm! Sometimes before he starts to beg I will tell him he can orgasm. This usually surprises him. One time he even asked “really?” I guess he wanted to make sure he heard me right. Once given permission, it only took a few seconds for him to erupt.

Command him to cum! If I want to revel in my power over him, then I will command him to cum. It is fun to tease him and then suddenly order “cum for me now slave!” He never disappoints and obeys immediately. I add a “good boy,” as I pump him dry. Notice I add the words “for me.” The two words are impactful and make it clear that he is having an orgasm because I want him to. The “good boy” emphasizes my approval of his obedience. Those words add to his overall submissive experience.

5-4-3-2-1! A count down is another fun way to get him to orgasm. 10 is a good number to start at but you can make the count down as long or as short as you want. It is fascinating at how much a count down affects a person’s emotions. As the count down gets closer to 0, the excitement builds and builds knowing that an exciting event is going to occur. Think about how you feel when watching a New Year’s count down. At 3, your body tenses, ready to explode with cheers, at 2 the cheers are starting to formulate in your mind at at 1 there’s no stopping the cheer from bursting out. Translate that to an orgasm count down and you get a guy whose arousal grows exponentially during the count down. By the time you reach 1, he is sure to cum exactly when you command. 

A steady count down is fun in itself, as you can watch the excitement grow during the countdown. There are many variations you can experiment with to add more fun. Varying the pace of the countdown is a great mind game for him. Starting off with a steady countdown and then switching  to a much slower pace will make him struggle to hold back his orgasm. Be forewarned that if you suddenly slow the pace in the last few numbers, you have a high risk of a premature orgasm as his mind and body may already be in release mode. On the other hand it is a good test of his will power and can be thrilling to watch him tense his body and try to hold back with all his might until you finally reach 1 and give the command. You could also do the opposite and speed up the pace at the end. I don't think any guy will have trouble adjusting to the faster pace and exploding on command. Restarting the count down before you get to 1 is another fun option.

When I've done the count down approach, I've stroked his cock while counting. I tend to just naturally stroke in rhythm with the count down, speeding up and slowing down my strokes accordingly. Sometime I will even verbally tease him in between numbers, either telling him how weak he is or building up his anticipation by telling he is getting closer to his orgasm..."only a few more numbers....get ready to cum...."

You could also make him stroke himself while you do the count down or you could do the count down during intercourse and time it so that you orgasm together. It would be interesting to try to bring him to orgasm by first taking him right to the edge and then starting the count down and not stroking his cock at all. What do you think, will he still cum at 0? Finally, if you are feeling a little cruel, then you can stop stroking when you command him to cum and just watch as he experiences a ruined orgasm

Orgasm on cue! Setting a cue that initiates his orgasm can be fun. Let him know what the cue is in advance and then let the teasing begin! He will desperately be waiting for the cue, ready to explode the instant it happens. Try these ideas:

  • When you orgasm starts (or ends) his can start
  • Stroke his cock and when you squeeze his balls he can orgasm
  • A kiss from you initiates his orgasm
  • Listen to music or watch a movie while you tease him and when a certain word is said or a specific action occurs, such as an explosion or gun shot, he can cum. You can have fun with this if you plan in advance and know when the cue is going to occur. You can really build up his pleasure right up to the cue moment and even command him to cum when the cue occurs.
  • Order him to drink your golden juices while he strokes himself and he can cum after he consumes the very last drop.
Final Thoughts
Remember, that orgasm control is about both denial and giving permission to cum. Both are powerful signals to him that you are in control of him and both deepen his submission and obedience to you. Most people who incorporate orgasm control into their daily life, fall into a regular routine of denial and control and that is a good thing as it is a extremely effective tool for managing the guy. However, WLM/FLR is also about having fun and adding spice to the relationship. A great way to do that is to change the orgasm control routine every now. I encourage you to give the ideas above a try. You can even use a few of the ideas together. For example, a count down and a command to cum go great together!  Enjoy and be sure to comment and let me know how it goes or if you have other ideas.

-Mz Kaylee









Monday, February 1, 2021

Fun With Orgasm Control-Intense Teasing and Denial

In my last post I discussed common strategies for orgasm control and how orgasm control is a powerful tool in a WLM/FLR. Orgasm control was the very first thing I did with my husband. It was my introduction into WLM and Female Control. It was all at his request, so everything was brand new to me at the time. When he first explained to me that I could decide when he could orgasm and that I could make him pleasure me without him having an orgasm, I thought it was strange but it sounded like fun so I decided to give it a try. Those first few weeks were the most sex filled weeks that I ever experienced. There were lots of orgasms for me and very few for him. I was having a blast teasing and denying him and he was loving it to. I actually had to put the brakes on the fun because I could not continue at that pace. It was physically exhausting for me and if that's all we did, we would never get anything done! 

In the beginning, it was all fun and fantasy for me. Thomas had told me that I could use orgasm control as a method to get him to do things for me but I really had no clue of the power that I held by controlling his orgasms. We were married at the time but not in a WLM. There was no control or authority exerted by me outside of the bedroom. However, in the bedroom he always had to ask for permission to orgasm. Over time I discovered the power of orgasm control and how to use it as a tool for control. My actions with orgasm control became more purposeful and less about the fantasy. It was still enjoyable but there was less emphasis on the fun part as it became a normal part of day-to-day life. That is a logical progression for couples who stick with orgasm control. However, I do still like to have a little fun with orgasm control on a frequent basis. In fact, it is a lot of fun for both of us when I take advantage of my power to control his orgasm and exert a little extra teasing, denial, and control. In this post I will share thoughts on the fun of intense teasing and denial.

I have to say that the better I got at teasing my husband and keeping him on the edge of orgasm, the more fun it became for me. It is exciting for me to see him in a highly aroused state and desperate for an orgasm. Seeing him struggling to hold back and knowing that I can easily push him over the edge is thrilling. One of my favorite things to do is bring him to the edge over and over again. Sometimes I will just let him rest for a minute before I start teasing again and sometimes I will make him pleasure me in between teasing. I've become skilled with knowing how different strokes and different pressure affects his arousal. Long firm strokes will bring him to an orgasm quickly. Soft light strokes will drive him crazy without bringing him to orgasm. I can keep him riding the edge of orgasm with just one finger. If he is close to orgasm, lightly playing with his balls allows me to continue teasing him while also allowing him to calm down just enough to get off the edge. Then I go back to stroking his cock without missing a beat. There are many other in-between strokes that I have fun with. 

It's fun to tell him 'no' when he begs for orgasm and there are so many ways to do it. My tone of voice may be authoritative, playful, or dismissive- as if the idea of him asking for an orgasm was silly. I may say 'no slave' and then give him one or two more strokes and watch him fight to hold back the orgasm. I might tell him 'no' and that there will ne no orgasm for him today. Will he still beg for an orgasm when I bring him to the edge again, even though I've told there will be none or will he beg me to stop stroking him so that he does not have an orgasm without my permission? When he is in his mindless state I like to tell him how weak he is, how he is helpless under my control and will do anything for me.  Do you think that I am brainwashing him by planting those thoughts into his scattered mind?

When I am focused on teasing him, I enjoy mixing it up by sometimes bringing him to the edge quickly and stopping at the point he begs for orgasm and sometimes bringing him there slowly and keeping him at the point where he is riding the edge of orgasm for several minutes. I have discovered that when he is close to orgasm, just holding my hand around his cock and lightly squeezing every 10 or 20 seconds will keep him on the edge, struggling not to cum. This blows his mind as every second he is processing whether or not the next stroke or squeeze will take him over the edge. Thomas has told me that when he is on edge, even just the feel of my hand firmly wrapped around his cock and not moving is an intense tease for him. Just the slightest thrust of his cock will send him over the edge. He has to fight his body's natural instinct to thrust into the warm tightness around his cock. It takes a tremendous amount of will power for him to hold back. It is exciting for me to watch him struggle not to move and not to cum. 

When he has been teased to the edge, in his weakened state he must decide whether to ride the pleasure for one more stroke or beg for permission to cum or beg me to stop so that he does not cum. After just a few minutes of teasing like this, he is mindless. All the worries of the world have melted away and he is intensely focused on me and the pleasure running though him. His only thought is 'can I last another second longer?' After about 10 minutes of this, he is in subspace, drowning in his own pleasure, unable to think on his own and completely at my mercy. That ladies, is why men who discover teasing and denial, love it and become addicted to it!  The tease becomes more exciting than the orgasm.

There are several options for me when he has reached that subspace state of mind. Most times, the teasing gets me all worked up to so I order him to pleasure me. When he is in this highly aroused state he is always full of energy and eager to pleasure me so it's a fantastic experience for me. He never calms down either, so after my orgasm he is desperate for an orgasm and does not want the fun to stop.  I may tease him a bit more and not give in to his pleas for an orgasm.

Another option I choose after an intense teasing session is to end the session and tell him to pull himself together. It of course will take him a long time to calm down and his mind will be mush the rest of the night. Usually after an intense teasing sessions, he will wake up a few times during the night, aroused and fully erect. The effect of the teasing carries into the next day or two. He is like a good little puppy for me and very thankful for the teasing. It's also fun because in those next few days, he is easily aroused. A slight touch from me, simple command, or even taking an authoritative tone will make his cock hard. I enjoy toying with him by making him hard (sometimes without even touching him) and then walking away. Sometimes I will do a 10- 15 minute tease session several days in a row just for fun. I will often do this prior to a "training day" in order to get him in the right frame of mind for training.

Then there is the option of having more fun with him through domination. When your guy's mind is all mush from intense teasing, it is so much fun to order him around or even try some kinky things with him. It's quite amusing how guys can not think straight when their mind is fried from arousal. I can just spout off orders and he obeys without thought. I may make him kneel and kiss my feet, lick my shoes, or lick my ass. He obeys without question and without thought. I may put him in a collar and leash and walk him around the house.  It's also fun to make him promise things to you when he is in this state, because he will agree to just about anything.  "I promise to always treat you like a Goddess," "I promise to start doing the laundry for you," "I promise to buy you jewelry,"  ahh...so much fun! When he is in subspace, suddenly the idea of him slipping on a teddy or eating his own cum is arousing to him. I can get him to do just about anything. The truth is that I can get him to do these things anyway because I am the boss and he is a submissive slut, but it's fun to get him to agree to these things when he is in a weakened state. It's also a thrill for him to know that he is being manipulated by me but yet he can not resist my feminine power over him. Many submissive guys crave to be manipulated like that.

There is always the option of letting him cum during an intense teasing session. Not! Just kidding. On a rare occasion I may give him permission to cum. The surprised look on his face immediately followed by an intense orgasm explosion is an enjoyable sight for me. There is still no thought from him; just an immediate reaction by his body to orgasm upon permission. I love that control!

I will share more fun ideas in the next post....


-Mz Kaylee














Sunday, January 31, 2021

Guest Post: A Fun Short Essay (By Frank)

Below is a nice light hearted essay from on serving women, written by Frank.  Enjoy!  -Mz Kaylee

As you may know I have never had the pleasure of being a lady's live-in servant/boyfriend. But I have had the honor of serving two ladies (consecutively) as their regular domestic. As we speak, I have just completed my first trial run as a servant for a lady I recently acquainted on FL. She would be “my” third Boss Lady.

I can't tell you how much I missed it.

The joy of being out of the house again. The privilege, and fortune, that I have had to always serve houses nicer and bigger than mine. So refreshing. The joy of wiping bathroom tiles knowing things get real clean for her. Of course, I take precautions and wear a mask when in her home, and we make sure that she is not too close. She mostly stays in her study and I sometimes hear her on zoom calls (she works remote). It's fantastic to play such a supporting role to an assertive woman, as the silent help in the background.

She made sure to have me do much work outside, to further reduce the risk of infection. To be specific, it means washing and vacuuming her car and cleaning the terrace. I take great pride in reaching and cleaning those spots that I know a regular cleaner would perhaps not do.

I really hope that I succeed and that we can go on.

My potential new Mistress (or Lady) is beginning / mid fifties, me mid fourties, and I find this difference in age usually works well.

Strangely, perhaps, it's all so adventurous. Almost like a vacation. Or a new job.

The odors of a new house. The ways of a new Lady of the house. The particularities of new cleaning products. Drapes, carpets and floors – all to be cleaned in their own way. Every home has its own layouts and own particulars. It's always interesting! The humbling and at the same time glory-filled entry into a house that only allows you there as a domestic. The buffing of the tiles and floors – it is fun to clean, you see results so fast! The secret comradery, for lack of a better word, between a Lady and her domestic – our special and discrete understanding of our respective roles, the strange combination of mutual respect and at the same time the clear understanding of hierarchy.

Of course I know the honeymoon phase will eventually wear off. Sometimes to clean is just drudgery. If it were not, us submissive gentlemen would not be so needed and, in our way, valuable.

My potential new Lady is a casual user of my domestic services. She has, like any sensible Mistress, ruled such a thing out. And that's fine with me, in fact, it's how it should be. Pure service.

So here we go. Am I overly dramatic that a new house to serve, a new Lady to please, is like discovering a new continent? Adventures await men all across the western world. After vaccines will drive away the virus, we will drive away the dust, grime and dirt from so many Ladies' homes. Ladies we may not even know yet. There are opportunities all over. This is a golden age, young, or not so young, man, and the new frontier is not somewhere west – it is in your heart, where the desire for submission should be molded in practical service for a lady. And it is somewhere in your neighborhood and town, where a bossy – or not yet bossy – Karen needs someone to polish her commodes, serve her a nice meal, get the trash out, and for you to get cracking with the laundry. There is tremendous potential in our civilization for great things to happen, and all we mop wielding knights need to do is to go get it and mop up our inner resistance and get to actual serving.

So to all my fellow progressive gentlemen, get out there and be bold. There are new households to get to know and serve, new Lady Bosses to please. Get out there and find that the Universe is bigger and more wonderful than you could ever guess. As Karen's cur, you'll clean a home you never knew existed, serve meals you never thought you could pull off, polish a shower room so obsessively that you can see your face in it, experience the sacred joy of lifting her beauty products gently so you can wipe the surface they stand on, hoover away on such a great varieties of carpets and hallways and win great battles against mold and dust. Get bossed around by Ladies that never knew *you* existed. Life is too big and wild to not serve and see the world behind the door of a Karen!

-Frank

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Orgasm Control Strategies

I know I am not alone in the opinion that orgasm control (when the wife/gf determines when and how the husband/bf orgasms) is a critical part of a Wife Led Marriage (WLM) or Female Led Relationship (FLR). Orgasm Control is a powerful tool in establishing the woman's authority in the relationship and in making her central in the husband's/bf's world. 

There are several common strategies for orgasm control that I've come across:

Fixed Schedule For Orgasms
In this strategy the wife/gf puts the guy on a regular schedule for orgasms such as every Saturday, once a month etc. A variation is that after each orgasm the wife establishes a specific date for the next orgasm. As long as the guy is good, he gets his recurring orgasm. In the time in-between, the guy knows that he must refrain from orgasm and must not ask or beg for permission to orgasm. 

This strategy works good for individuals who don't like the unknown, who like routine, or who need concrete goals and direction to be productive. The advantage with this approach is that the guy has a clear goal that he is working towards. He knows if he performs well, he will get his orgasm on the agreed upon day and that if he does not perform well he may lose out on the orgasm or have it delayed or ruined. This can be a good way to keep a guy consistently motivated. Another advantage is that during sex or foreplay, the guy can completely focus on pleasuring his wife since he knows there will be no orgasm for him. For the wife/gf, the orgasm day becomes a powerful domination tool. During the days in between she can remind him that his orgasm day is not guaranteed if he does not meet expectations. In addition, she can add extra tasks to be done prior to the orgasm day. This is a great way to get the "honey do" list done quickly. Of course, she can also have fun by teasing him unmercifully, knowing that he is not allowed to orgasm or she can build his excitement up as his orgasm day gets closer, or make a big exciting production for him when he is allowed to orgasm.

Random Permission 
This is the strategy that I use. In this approach, the wife determines when the husband can orgasm but does not give advance notice to the husband. He is left guessing and needs to ask for permission to orgasm if he feels an orgasm coming on. Usually it is not until the last second that the wife grants permission or denies him. He can go days, weeks, or even months without orgasm.

An advantage with this approach is that it keeps the husband on his toes as he never knows what to expect. I think it adds a lot of excitement and spice to the relationship because there can be lots of teasing with no orgasm. I love bringing my husband to the edge over and over again, hearing him beg for orgasm, not knowing if I will give him permission. 

The random approach lessens the connection between good behavior and orgasm so the orgasm does not become as much of a motivator. However, it has very different effect on the male psyche. It keeps him highly focused on pleasing and obeying his wife because she controls his pleasure and orgasm. Since men are constant pleasure seekers, she becomes his focus. This approach also allows the wife to experiment with different lengths of denial and push his limits. For many guys, the longer they are denied (up-to a certain point) the more agreeable and easily controlled they become. This makes for a powerful tool for the wife to push his limits and bring him deeper into submission to her.   

Earned Orgasms 
The husband must earn his orgasm through good behavior or by completing tasks. Determination of this could be left up to the wife or be based on a point system or she spells out specific tasks that need to be done in order to earn his orgasm. In this approach the orgasm becomes a significant motivator to get the guy to do something. This approach may be good for younger guys who have high sex driver and need frequent orgasms or guys who are new to orgasm denial and have not built up the ability to be denied an orgasm for over a week. This is also an effective method for the woman to quickly establish her control and authority over a guy. The mental connection of having to please and obey her in order to achieve an orgasm, keeps his focus on her 24/7. She can also easily exert her power and authority over him by requiring him to do something humiliating or extremely submissive in order to earn his orgasm. His obedience in this situation is proof of her real power over him, which is exciting for both the submissive and the dominant.

Those seem to be the most common strategies used for orgasm control and denial. There are many variations of each and there's no hard rule that you have to stick with just one strategy. Switching strategies every now and then can be fun and keep orgasm control interesting for both of you.

Short-tern vs. Long-term Denial
All of the strategies above can be used for both short-term and long-term denial.  If you are just starting to incorporate orgasm denial into your relationship, than long-term denial is probably not an option. Guys are naturally wired to want to have orgasms frequently and to not hold back when an orgasm begins to build up. It usually takes some conditioning and training for a guy to build up the tolerance to be denied an orgasm over a long period of time. Age and libido are factors that affect how long he can last with denial. Younger guys with a high libido may struggle with longer-term denial or may become unpleasant or unhappy with it. If that happens, then orgasm denial becomes counter-productive. It is important for the wife/gf to monitor the effects of denial on his mood and demeanor and adjust the timing as needed to ensure denial is working in your favor and not against you. Lastly, the wife's desires also play into the decision of short-term and long-term denial. Do not forgot that the broader concept is orgasm control, which, includes both denial and giving permission to orgasm. There are advantages to using longer-term denial, which I will explain below, but the frequency of orgasms is second in importance to the woman's authority in deciding when he is allowed to orgasm. A women can still practice orgasm control and have sex with her husband/bf frequently if she enjoys PIV sex. In this scenario, she still gives permission for when to orgasm. This can be done in the heat of the moment, requiring him to ask for permission when he feels an orgasm rising, or she can count-him down to an orgasm (5-4-3-2-1), or she can command him to cum when she is ready, or she can give him permission before the sex begins. By her controlling when he orgasms every time it gives her complete authority over his sex life and when she controls his sex life, she becomes his center of focus.

For those who want to experiment with the longer-term denial, it can be achieved by slowly increasing the duration between orgasms in order to train him to last longer. For many guys, after they've been exposed to denial for awhile, it becomes a fun game for them and they are often up for the challenge of trying to go longer. It almost becomes a badge of honor for them to last a longer. A guy can also build up his tolerance to hold back orgasm by exercising his PC muscle. This is the muscle guys use to make their cock move or twitch. All they need to do is squeeze it to exercise it. Order your guy to do 100 squeezes a day to build up his tolerance, or guys just start doing it now so that you can impress your wife/gf. 

The advantage of long-term denial is that it keeps guys horny and easily aroused. This makes it easy for the woman to control him. A horny guy is putty in the hands of a dominant woman :).  For guys that are newer to  long-term denial, the longer they are denied, the more mush their brain becomes and logic and common sense go out the window when they are dominated. This puts them in a state where they are easily seduced into doing things for the woman. When you hear the words "I'll do anything." you know he's ripe for domination. It is a good time to try new things and push his boundaries. For example, a guy who is hesitant to try strap-on sex, after a few weeks of denial and regular teasing, he will likely be willing to give the strap-on sex a try. Even better, is if the wife begins to suggest or talk-about the strap-on sex each time she teases him. This process begins to associate pleasure with the idea of strap-on sex and he will begin to fantasize about it. By the time the woman decides to introduce him to her strap-on, he we likely be excited about it and wanting to try it.  For the guy, being in this horny state is pleasurable and fun. In fact, it adds a little excitement to mundane tasks. Chores become a little fun or at least more tolerable when horny. My husband is always telling me how much he enjoys that I keep in a perpetually aroused state.

I've highlighted a few of the common and effective orgasm control strategies. If you have other strategies please feel free to share.  My sense is that most couples settle into one strategy and stick with it and it becomes an integral part of their relationship and lifestyle. However, as noted earlier in the post, that is not a hard and fast rule. Switching things up every now and then can be fun.

I believe orgasm control should used in every WLM/FLR. It is a very powerful tool for the woman so there is a real purpose for it. It can also bring a lot of fun and spice to the relationship. In my next post I will share some fun ideas to incorporate with orgasm control.

-Mz Kaylee








Sunday, January 17, 2021

My New Foot Stool

Recently I joked with Thomas that I was going to use him as a foot stool. I don't remember how it came up in conversation or why that thought popped into my head but I said it. He replied back, "Well you know I would love it."  I could tell he was half-joking and half hoping I was serious. I always thought the idea was silly but the last post that I wrote about trying something new, was fresh in my mind so I decided to give it a try. I think I surprised him when I replied, "We will see about that. The next time we get the house to ourselves, be prepared to be my footstool."

I like to give him advance notice on things every now and then because I know it drives him wild. I knew his mind would fill with fantasies about me using him as footstool up until the day it happens. It is like he is self-teasing himself so it keeps his perverted little mind occupied for days with little effort from me and then when I am ready to use him, he is all horned up and weak for me. True to my word, the first night that the kids would be out of the house for hours, I laid out silky pink panties on the bed for my foot stool to wear, grabbed my kindle for reading, and waited for him in the living room.

He stood be for me in nothing but the panties while I was fully dressed in my normal 'street clothes.' His cock was already hard. I love that the anticipation is enough to get him fully aroused. I probably could have brought him to an orgasm right there in less than a minute. Instead I ordered him on the floor. He got down on his hands and elbows and kept his back as flat as he could. I sat back, placed my feet on his back and began to read. He remained still and quiet while I read, without me having to tell him to do so. I made sure to adjust my feet every now and then as a reminder to him of my presence.

After about five minutes, I asked if he was ok. He replied, "Yes Goddess." I reached down and stroked his cock through the panties. He had softened a bit and it only took a few seconds to him back to a raging hard-on. Then I resumed my reading. I could tell it was uncomfortable for him but he did not complain. It is fascinating to me that guys will not only suffer to please and obey a woman, but they will get aroused and excited by it. There is not physical pleasure from being a foot stool. Remaining still while supporting my feet on elbows and knees it uncomfortable and not the easiest to endure.  However, there is a mental pleasure that occurs. Being beneath my feet is symbolic of his place in our marriage. Being used like an object, creates strong feelings of submission. I've heard from other people that being reduced to something so simple and basic where you don't have to think at all but just serve and obey when commanded can be relaxing and a stress reliever.

My observation is that my experienced tremendous pleasure and submission from being my footstool but it mostly occurred before and afterwards. The anticipation and knowing that I was going to dominate him in that way was exciting for him. Afterward, knowing that I actually exerted my authority and dominance over him and made him be my footstool, not only thrilled him but made him feel even more like a slave and even more beneath me than he felt before. 

I enjoyed it too. I did not seem silly at all to me in the moment. I enjoyed reading while he remained silent and supporting my feet. I have to admit, that I felt Goddess-like or Queen-like, having him be my footstool and I felt ownership over him. I enjoyed having that power. I enjoyed it so much that I informed him that it was going to be a regular thing going forward. At least once a week, I am going to try and find time to use him as my foot stool while I read. Doing this on a regular basis will make it even clearer that my domination over him and his submission to me, is real and that he truly is beneath me in our marriage and exists to serve and obey me.

See - I do practice what I preach in my posts! I tried something new and was glad I did. I know many of the guy readers share my posts with their wives. To the wonderful Goddess women who are reading this post, the next time your husband brings you one of my posts to read, why not order him to kneel into a foot stool position and then you can kick back and relax with your feet on his back, while you read my post :) 

-Mz Kaylee 









Saturday, January 2, 2021

Guest Post: How to Implement Chastity (by AJ)

 In AJ’s follow-up post on chastity (below) she provides advice on choosing a device. I am glad she chose this topic to write about because it is an area that I have no experience with and very little knowledge about. I read it wit great interest and took quite a few notes ☺️. It is wonderful to have others bring new information and advice to the blog.  If you currently wear a chastity device be sure to comment on what you wear and any additional advice.  -Mz Kaylee 

HOW TO IMPLEMENT CHASTITY by AJ

In my last post I wrote about the 'why' and the benefits of chastity as I have experienced them in my marriage. This post cover the topic of how to best implement chastity. Its not as easy as you might think, so that’s why I want to pass on our tidbits of knowledge gleamed over 25 years of marriage and more specifically within the past 6 years of heavy chastity play and wear by my husband. These are our pro and con observations of what type of devices are best suited for successful long term chastity wear. These are our first hand experiences and observations. Obviously yours may differ. Its been a lot of trial and error, frustration, and a substantial pile of cash over the years.

 1) Buying a lot of crappy devices in the long term equates to a considerable pile of cash spent. No one likes to make a poor investment. Devices with lots of moving and interconnecting parts such as the CB3000 series devices. Those are crap in our opinion (we’ve owned 3 different types of them over the years and finally gave up on them). Each one of those parts translates into rubbing and chaffing and other discomforts long term. Devices with hinged base rings - they all eventually pinch and are not comfortable. Devices without integrated locking systems. Those tiny external padlocks are sharp and jab in all the the wrong places. They are also bulky for daily wear and show through clothes. They also can be somewhat noisy. Devices which have those long urethral attachments and which impale the penis. Short term with a lot of frequent disinfecting, perhaps not a problem. Long term though your going to develop a urinary tract infection or nick something deep inside. Not fun to treat and not fun to explain how to the medical staff. Silicone devices - all I can say is just yuck.

2) Go big and go small. Start out by going big with the base ring that goes around his testicles. It takes quite while to build up his tolerance to the smaller size rings. Your shooting for long term wear (you indeed are!!! - that’s what brings in all of those wonderful benefits for the both of you) and the quickest way to defeat that is to have him wear a ring which starts digging into his testicles after a few hours of wear. When his balls are turning blue that a definite danger sign, get it off right away. We’ve made this mistake many, many times. Everyone keeps talking about measuring tapes, sizing and going as small as possible. Long term this is somewhat true, but you have to get there first. Do your husband and yourself a huge favor and get a comfortably sized larger ring for starting him off on his chastity journey. You don’t want it so big that its in danger of falling off his package while at Walmart, but error on the size of large for starting out. Make long term wear progress with that larger ring (at least 3 weeks of continuous wear) and then slowly go down in his size. This is the way to achieve long term wear. You’ll both grow discouraged from all of the pain related device failures he experiences with too small of a base ring is used. However, do go small with the chastity tube portion. This is very counter intuitive, and it took us quite a bit of trial and error to realize this. The smaller the tube, the more comfortable his long term wear will be. Why? You want to nick his erection in the bud so to speak. When his cock has the internal free room to engorge within the tube (tube sized to large) it builds mass (all of that blood is allowed to flow into those shaft veins which equates to weight). Along with the weight of the blood in the engorged areas of his cock, there is also the actual changes to the length and girth of his chastised cock as it tries to erect with the tube. Those physical increases equate to amplified pulling action on his sensitive testicles and scrotal sack. That pulling occurs on that too tight of a base ring plate I mentioned earlier. It’s a sure path to real discomfort and short term wear. By wearing a pretty tight tube, one that actually compresses lightly on the fully shriveled up deflated cock, there is zero room for him to grown. That means no size change and no weight gains. That means way less pulling on his base ring. After he wakes up and has waked you up for the umpteenth time due to the swelling pain, you'll understand this one. So go big and go small. Their is one caveat to this, use your head. If you go with too small of a tube, like really small, then your asking for medical issues as well. Too small of a tube and your going to get what I call the stinky twinky syndrome. The urine is unable to flow completely out of his penis when he pees and it gets trapped within all of the bends and compression's of his stuffed dick which is stuffed into that overly small tube. That pee just slowly escapes and dribbles out over the course of the day as gravity eventually forces it out. Yuck. But do go small just not ludicrous small :) 

3) When hes first starting out in chastity, check him often for issues. The blue balls, the chaffing, the rubbing raw of tender parts. All of those things equate to big discomfort and therefore short term wear. Initially check him every hour, then every couple of hours. Once he achieves success there, then switch to inspecting him every morning. If he's going to show issues that's when your going to catch it quickest. Those night time and early morning erections, when in an improperly sized device, will show themselves quickly. If he can't make it one night without serious discomfort or chaffing then you have the wrong device. Don’t waste time and experience the frustration, and just get another device. Once he sleeps through the night and his morning inspections are consistently good, you can slack off. Check him every couple of days and then every week. You’ll get the feel for what's adequate as his confidence and lack of pain increase over time. I no longer check my husband. We have built the confidence in the sizing of his device and his ability to accurately cry uncle when he needs to. Even with the best device and the best care, sometimes things will just click when they should have clacked and he will develop a tender spot. Deal with it quickly before it becomes a long term show stopper. That said he knows I don’t allow false positives. He’s a big boy in his device and I expect him to act like one. Crying wolf leads to severe punishment.

4) Cleanliness is next to godliness. See my stinky twinky syndrome comment. No one wants that. Shower it thoroughly every morning. A weekly soaking in the tub will do some deep cleaning of his device and his boy parts. You don’t want bacteria to breed and turn into nasty or odoriferous issues. Also In our experience, your going to want to keep your man shorn clean. Any hair down their tends to get snagged in chastity devices and that's painful. Hair also tends to absorb odors. The absence of hair also makes inspection and identifying trouble spots on his boy parts much easier. Finally, having him smooth like a baby in that area, I have found to be a large kink amplifier. The feminization aspect of being smooth and being required to shave and stay smooth down there works strongly to both of our kinks.

Given all of what I’ve stated above about the correct device, its sizing, wear, discomfort, trial and error, money spent and especially long term wear goals, what device do I recommend? Its a pretty easy answer for me at this point in the game. Start him out in plastic. These devices are cheapest and lightest. Cheapest is an important factor. No matter what, your going to go through some trial and error. Do it in plastic where its cheaper to have those experiences. Also there seems to be much more base ring sizing variety in plastic. Your going to want something which has several base rings sizes and your going to want to buy several starting with that larger starter ring. Then wean him down to a smaller ring as he progresses. Plastic is the way to go. And the device? The Holy Trainer. I recommend the Nub if he's average sized and a grower. If he's a bit more endowed or a shower then go with the Nano model. If he's too big for the Nano, I’m guessing your going to want to have that cock inside you on a regular basis and won’t be locking it up much. So chastity may be out for you (kidding). They actually have 5 devices in increasing size, you’ll find one for him unless he's built like a horse. Extremely comfortable device, made up of just two parts (discounting the internal locking device). Lesser parts means less chance of irritation. Built in lock means more comfort as well. Built in lock also means more stealth and aesthetics. He’s going to be subconscious about showing chastity bulges in public until he build his confidence up. This is a very low or no show device. Get the largest ring size as well as one or two of the smaller rings at the same time. The tube size is perfect to keep his penis from erecting. That means comfort. Don’t be surprised if your hubby is immediately able to last several nights of confinement straight with this device. I wish this device was around when we first started. His long term chastity wear would have been much longer than the 6 years we are presently at, and we would have had all of those extra years of enhanced and wonderful husband. Having said that, don’t immediately go out and buy the Holy Trainer Nub chastity device. Go out on Amazon or DHGate and get one of their cheap Chinese look alike devices first. There is a pretty large price differential between the legit HT device and the Chinese version. Do your fine tuning and trial and error in that knock off device first. When you have it dialed in there, then go out and buy the perfect and legit HT device. Why the real thing eventually? One you want to reward them for their hard work and good design. Second those knock off devices aren't as good. They have sharp edges were the base ring and the tube connect and they also use inferior plastic (our direct experience) so they retain odors more. Do the trial and error with them, but then reward your husband with the real McCoy, its worth it in our opinion. Our final plastic device at this point in time is the HT Nub and we love it for his long term wear and for its pleasing looks. He has a black and a white model and looks very cute and tiny in both.

So now the pink elephant in the room. How secure are chastity devices really? If you’re new to the chastity game this answer might surprise and irritate you. They are not very secure at all unless your husband get his dick pierced and incorporates that piercing into the locking of his device. In that case they are very secure. But otherwise, with not too much work and motivation and some slippery lube or shower soap, he's going to be able to fairly easily pull out from the back of these devices and escape his confinement. Its been possible with every device my husband has owned including the Nub. It doesn't matter how small diameter that base ring has been, he can do it if he wants to. And once he’s out with that same slippery soap or lube he’s able to stuff himself back inside and hide his unauthorized escape. Its also relatively easy to orgasm within a chastity device. Just apply a vibrator to the outside tube and have some patience, it will occur. So now your probably asking, why for the love of god bother with chastity at all if this is the case. What is it gaining you, and why does it work if its that easy to defeat. It took me a while to understand this myself, and I’ll agree with the consternation many of your are probably showing right now. This is my current and my husbands current and evolved answer to this question.

Our answer to this is that a man's chastity device is like his wedding ring but on a much more deeper and personal level. A wedding ring is a symbol of your love and respect and commitment to one another. But other than gaining some weight and developing a fat finger, there's nothing preventing you from pulling that ring off your finger and lying about your relational status. What keeps it on is respect and integrity to your relationship. In a way its a badge of honour. That’s how we view his chastity device. He wouldn't pull out on me because he respects my authority and loves me too much to cheat on me that way. And that’s 100% how I would view it. He would be cheating on me as surely as his having an affair with some office skank at his work. He knows I would be deeply disappointed and hurt by that action. That’s reason number one why it really works and he doesn't cheat on me.

Reason number two is going to be a bit more difficult for people to understand, unless they are involved in a serious and long term FLR relationship. He enjoys being locked up and cheating would ruin the entire dynamic of our relationship for him. The psychological element which makes an FLR relationship desirable to him in the first place, that being: control, levels of humiliation, servitude, holding me up as his dominant Goddess, and the entire sexual mojo cocktail which makes FLR so entrancing to men like my husband, that would be ruined as soon as he pulled out and cheated. It would ruin this entire mind fuck of a relationship that we both so heavily enjoy. He knows it and I know it. FLR and chastity has taken its own life in our long term relationship and neither of could stand to do without it at this point. So these two things make chastity work for us and negates the actual need for some sort of pierced locking to make things work. You will only come to realize this once you deep dive into an FLR relationship. Its stronger than any lock will ever be.

There is one final reason which may keep him being a good boy and not cheating on me. I have become so in tune with reading his body and emotions during prolonged chastity. He knows that I would immediately sense the bodily and behavioral changes he would experience if he had an unauthorized orgasm. This is 100% true. I know every drip from his cock, every emotional tear in his eye, every change in his sub attitude when he retains for me and when I give him an orgasm. Its a very easy read for me at this point when that switch gets temporarily flipped. He’s night and day different. On top of that he’s always been a horrible liar (he cant play poker worth a darn - he always tells his good and bad hands with his subconscious actions) So these three things then are what makes chastity really work for us. 

Having said all of the above and truly believing and knowing his security in the HT device is complete with or without a piercing, we have gone ahead and chosen to have him pierced. This was a couple of years ago. We have also updated his chastity device from the HT Nub to a Rigid Halfshell to take advantage of that situation. This is a custom made metal chastity device form Poland with an integrated PA locking mechanism. It’s dimensions are all made to our custom measured order. It was expensive but worth it to us. It’s very secure and also very comfortable for his long term wear. We love it. Why? Well quite simply we love the look, the feel and the heft of a metal device. Psychologically to both of us it seems so much more permanent and real. Physiologically it just one ups our entire chastity game to its highest possible level. Something about absolutely being 100% certain that he can’t  pull out and cheat on our relationship just makes us both super hot and horny. It just magnifies that feeling of total control for me and subservience for him. It really is just that simple. That’s the difference between using the HT Nub and the Rigid Halfshell device for us. Its all in our minds. We do occasionally go back to his wear of the HT Nub device. It’s still our go to favorite plastic device. Sometime you just want to change things up by switching between metal and plastic. Its a different look and feel. Sort of like wearing a different dress for a different occasion. As I mentioned earlier sometimes even the most perfect device will occasionally cause some sort of irritation to his delicate skin. In these cases we often find that simply switching temporarily to the other HT device will allow his sore or whatever it is to heal, while still remaining locked up. The HT still has its important place in our flr life. Again we would have never made the final migration to the Rigid device without having gone through that less expensive trial and error precision fitting that the cheapness of the HT device allowed us. So my take away here is the HT device is really fine and dandy. For strictly kink reasons we went to the Halfshell. 

Well that’s about it for me on this topic. I hope this proves helpful to some of you in understanding what chastity can do for your long term relationship. I really believe it has become a cornerstone tool in maintaining our relationship and developing it to new and better heights for us as a couple. Also, I hope I was able to shed some insight on selecting a better device for some of you and saving you some of that physical, emotional and pocket book pain associated with a prolonged trial and error process. Some times it pays to begin with a tried and true recipe first and then once you get some measure of success with that, then ad-lib and make it your own recipe.

 

AJ