Monday, April 29, 2019

The "Hold" Technique


Over the years I’ve discovered a few techniques and methods for bringing out the submission in my husband.  He is submissive by nature so I am not talking about converting him into a submissive husband.  That part has already been done by forces beyond me. What I am referring to is doing things to deepen his submissive state and strengthen his submission to me.

There are a few benefits to doing this. First, a submissive man is happiest when he is in a submissive state and when a woman embraces his submission. A man who falls deep into submission can experience sub-space, which is the ultimate utopia.  I am sure there are many different ways to describe sub-space. My husband explains it as a state of pure pleasure and euphoria in which his mind completely shuts off from the outside world. When he is in sub-space with me, he clings to every word I say and every action I do and obedience to me is filled with pleasure.  He has no thoughts other than to obey me. In essence my thoughts and commands are his thoughts. When he falls into subspace, his inhibitions disappear and he is willing to do just about anything for me. What’s fascinating to me, is just about anything I do to him or ask him to do when he is in sub-space, fills him with pleasure. The kinkier things get, the deeper he falls into sub-space. If you sense that your husband is in a sub-space state, it is a great time to try new kinky things and push his limits because all inhibitions are gone.

So if you want to make your husband happy, then find ways to deepen his submission. A husband’s happiness is important. A happy submissive husband is highly motivated to be devoted to his wife. An unhappy submissive husband becomes frustrated and demotivated. As a loving wife, it is also satisfying to me when I know my husband is happy.

As I noted above, deepening his submission also motivates him to obey me. When I stroke his submissive mind he becomes more devoted to me.  In a way it is his kryptonite. It is a power over him that he can not resist. However, unlike kryptonite, he enjoys falling under my spell and feeling my power over him. When he experiences it, he enjoys it so much that he wants to obey and please me even more. An obedient husband is of course, a wonderful thing and the biggest perk of a FLR for the woman.

Now that I have explained the benefits of deepening his submission, I will share a powerful technique for doing this, that I have discovered with my husband. It is very simple. The technique is to hold his erection firmly and for an extended duration. I don’t squeeze it hard. I just maintain a firm steady hold. It is amazing the effect this has on him. During the time I am holding his erection, his body and mind are 100% focused on his cock and since I am the one holding it, the focus transfers to me. When something has a grip on a man’s aroused cock, his thoughts go nowhere else but to that spot that is causing him arousal. It is like magic. Everything around him disappears at all his energy and thoughts are focused on his cock and what has a hold of it.

A man is not used to feeling a steady firmness around his cock.  He is used to stroking and pulsing but not a steady firmness.  This is an unusual feeling for him and his natural instinct is to thrust and move in order to increase his pleasure. My husband knows he is not allowed to thrust.  It takes concentration and restraint for him to remain still. Something I enjoy doing is teasing him to the brink of orgasm and then instead of releasing his cock, I just hold it firmly and wait for him to calm down.  The first 30 – 60 seconds is pure torture for him as he has to intensely concentrate on not having an orgasm. The temptation to thrust is very high as that is what his mind and body want to do at that very moment. He knows that the slightest thrust will send him over the edge.  He also knows that the slightest squeeze of my hand will send him over the edge. Ladies – talk about a power rush.  When I see my strong husband concentrating and struggling not to move or orgasm and knowing that I could easily send him over the edge with a little squeeze, it is quite an erotic rush.

After the first 30 – 60 seconds, he is usually off the edge but just slightly. This is when I like to give a little squeeze and it takes him back to the edge.  I will wait another 20 – 30 seconds and squeeze again. I often will do this for several minutes without ever letting go and it drives him wild. If I sense he is calming down a bit, I will squeeze lightly in a steady pulsating rhythm and that usually gets him back to the edge. Again, it’s quite an erotic power rush for me to keep him on the edge and watch him trying not cum with a simple squeeze of my fingers (even just applying added pressure with one or two of my fingers can keep him on edge in this state). Such fun for both of us!

I also use the hold technique as a show of power and control. I will hold his erection while I talk to him and give him instructions or feedback on his behavior.  His mind is reeling in pleasure as I talk and you can bet he is wishing and hoping that I will squeeze or stroke. It is hard for him to listen as I talk because I have such a hold on his mind. Not a good technique if you want him to really listen but it is powerful in giving him the feeling of being submissive to you and under your control. I will also lead him around the room or house using his cock as a leash. I will grab his erection and pull him forward and say, “let’s go” or push downward and order “kneel.” He is forced to follow my every move. When doing this I will purposely pull forward or down before ordering him to go/kneel so that I am moving him rather than him reacting to my command. I will purposely walk at an unsteady pace (slow down and speed up) and make sharp turns so that he constantly feels the tugging on his cock.  Since his cock is so firm, when I slow down, he is forced to slow down while also receiving pleasure at the same time due to the force. Sometimes I will let him do the moving but I will control it. For example, when he is kneeling next to the bed while I am lying on the bed, I will reach down and take hold of his cock and order him up onto the bed. In this example I am not leading him but since I am holding his cock, he is very restricted in how he can move. He is forced to stay within an arms length of me as he climbs over me and onto the bed. It is usually awkward for him but that is the point. I am controlling him with his sex organ and that is a very powerful show of authority over him. It is fun to “man handle him” around the room and into different positions by using his cock as a handle/leash without ever letting go. The feeling of having his cock constantly held puts him into a deep submissive state of mind. The submissive state of mind stays with him for days afterward, especially if I do not allow an orgasm.

For all the dominant wives reading this, I encourage you to give it a try.  Spend at least five minutes holding your husband’s erection without letting go and “man handle” him with it. Write back and let everyone know how it goes. I’m curious to see how many men can make it without cumming.

-Mz Kaylee

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Absolute Power

There has been good discussion going on in the comments section of the cuckolding posts. It is great to see the topic debated and so many different view points. Thanks to those of you who are participating and I hope the discussion continues and we see similar participation on other topics. It is the discussions that validate the "realness" of the topic and that this is not just crazy fantasy. Often times there are meaningful learning points that come from the comments. The discussions also tend to lead to other interesting topics. My post below was inspired by such as comment. In the discussion of cuckolding, f-sub had raised the following question:

"In a WLM is the wife's power and authority limited in any way at all? Because if the answer is "no" then that is pretty much the definition of an abusive relationship"

In the content of the cuckolding discussion, the question refers to whether or not the wife can decide to date other guys regardless of what her husband wants. Below I will discuss this question in a  terms of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) as a whole and also address it specific to cuckolding. Thank you f-sub for raising this question. It is a complex dynamic and a dynamic worth diving into to better understand.

I'll start by acknowledging that WLMs can be abusive. With any relationship there is potential for abuse. However, an abusive relationship is caused by the behavior of an individual and not by the type of relationship. A wife can have unlimited power and authority over her husband and not be abusive. In a WLM, should the wife have unlimited power and authority over her husband? Ideally Yes.

A key principle of a WLM is that the husband willingly yields to his wife and gives her full authority over him.Three needs to be a desire by the husband to submit to his wife, obey her, and accept her authority over him. However, this principle alone does not define the WLM. For the WLM to be successful there also needs to a commitment from the wife to lead the marriage in a way that is in the best interest of the relationship. The relationship needs to be rooted in love, respect and trust. If all these things exist, then the relationship will be most fulfilling when the wife has absolute authority and power over the husband.

A wife who loves and respects her husband would not force him into a situation that will make him deeply unhappy. A healthy marriage is about doing things together as a couple, enjoying life together, and making each other happy. In a healthy and mature WLM, the husband yields completely to his wife and trusts that she will take care of him and the wife leads by taking into consideration his needs and desires and doing things that will make him happy.

Having authority over a person does not mean that you make all the decisions for that person or that you are being completely self serving in everything that you do. In a WLM having authority means the wife gets to have the final say in all decisions if she desires. In my marriage there are many decisions that I make without consulting Thomas, there are decisions that I consult with him on and there are decisions that I allow him to make on his own. In all cases I always have the right to final say in a decision and Thomas accepts my decision even if it is not what he wants.

The man's needs and desires are important. If the wife does not take care of these, then the husband will become unhappy and will lose his motivation to submit to her or be motivated for the wrong reasons. I have seen where some men proclaim this mantra, that all that matters is what the wife wants. I believe many of them are sincere with this statement, but the only way they can be sincere is if they are already in an environment where their core needs and desires are being met. If the wife suddenly changed course and forced the husband over and over again to do something he completed hated or that disgusted him, would he still believe in this mantra? Probably not.

While I am stating that the husband's needs and desire are important, I also want to make it clear that in the WLM the wife's needs and desires take priority over the husband's. No doubt there will be many times where the husband is not happy with a decision made by the wife and times where the husband wants to do something that the wife does not permit. He should obey her and accept her decision. That is the commitment he made when agreeing to submit to her.

I want to make a distinction between what I just said and my statement earlier in the post in which I said the wife would not force her husband into a situation that will make him deeply unhappy.  There is a big difference between being unhappy and being deeply unhappy.  In any relationship there are going to be disagreements and times where one person is unhappy with the outcome. The unhappiness is not pleasant but usually short-lived and the unhappy person eventually moves on and puts it behind them.This is a normal part of a WLM, but the difference between a traditional marriage and a WLM is that in the WLM, the wife gets the final say and therefore should never end up being the unhappy person. I'd also guess that in the WLM, the unhappiness is very short-lived because the husband is accepts his wife's decision and does not spend a lot of time sulking over it.

When something makes a person deeply unhappy and not just unhappy, it is an issue for the relationship. Deeply unhappy, in the context of my post, is when something has a long-lasting impact on a person and it strongly affects their mood, attitude, or outlook on life. Decisions that negatively affect a person's morals and core beliefs are examples that can have this effect. Cuckolding fits into this category. If either the husband or wife are not comfortable with cuckolding, then it should not be done.

When a wife decides to take a position of control and authority over he husband, it comes with the responsibility of taking care of him and ensuring he remains healthy, safe, and happy.  Honestly, I can not imagine why a wife would want anything different. I want my husband to be happy.  I married him because I love him and his happiness is important to me.

A WLM is not something to enter into lightly.  Before you marry someone, it is important that you spend a tremendous amount of time getting to know them and ensuring your likes, beliefs. and morals are compatible. A marriage should not occur unless there is love, trust, and caring between the couple. The same applies to a WLM. 

In the WLM, the wife should have complete authority and control over the husband. It may take time for this to happen. In many cases, like mine, the wife is not ready for this.  It took me many years before I understood what it meant and before I was comfortable accepting this responsibility.  In other cases, the husband may not be ready to completely yield to his wife in all aspects of his life. It is a journey that both husband and wife experience together. As the journey progresses, both husband and wife evolve and move toward the ideal state. At least, that's how it felt for my husband and I.

Every couple has a different journey.  Some move through it slowly, others speed through it.  Some may even find a happy balance halfway there. My own experiences tell me that the closer you can get to complete authority and submission, the more fulfilling and exciting the WLM will be.

-Mz Kaylee







Monday, March 4, 2019

The Happy House Husband - Debbie's Perspective

Below is a post from Debbie in response to my original post on "The Happy House Husband."  Enjoy!  (Thanks Debbie!)

David has long been doing the household chores. He does the vacuuming, dusting, cleaning, washing, and ironing, in addition to taking care of my mother and sister. He's a submissive do his doing chores is not only beneficial to me but it is a point of fulfillment and pride to him. I seldom compliment him on the cleanness of the house or the perfection of the pleats he's just ironed but when I do it's obviously very satisfying to him. It motivates him to do even more. A piece of advice though, Women shouldn't be complimenting or thinking their husbands too often; why should they? He's only serving her as she deserves and it's a great source of satisfaction for him. My David gets criticism much more than he gets praise – it works for us!

I certainly agree that your man's having a routine is very important. David has chores to do EVERY DAY. Typically he has 3-4 hours of work to do on weekends and 6-7 hours on weekends. During the week he starts dinner, dusts, runs the vacuum, freshens the bath rooms, gathers the clothes I've worn that day to either be washed or dry cleaned, and he serves me dinner. We often talk about our work and what went on. I like to know what's going on at his office since I know women whose husbands he works with and there just might be some little tidbits that I pass along. Knowing what's happening and passing it along helps my girlfriends keep control of their man.  David likes hearing what happened during my day, too.

On weekends I often go out with my mother and sister, to the mall or some other event while David does the 'heavy cleaning'. Typically we entertain or visit with other couples on Saturday night. David enjoys going out for an evening especially since he ends up serving the ladies, a point of great satisfaction for him.  David does get free time and internet access each day as a reward of sorts and to simply relax.

When we get together with other FLM couples we know the men congregate in the kitchen and the women in the living room. Submissive men have competitive nature and it comes out at these parties as the men try to out do each other in serving – and pleasing! - the ladies. David always bakes some scrumptious pastries and loves the compliments received. Tom always brings along a special wine, and so on.The men always get to come and converse with the ladies but only after they have served the ladies.
So, ladies, don't ever underestimate how much your submissive man enjoys pleasing you and give him every opportunity to do do!


-Debbie

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Real Life Examples of FLM in action (by David)

In an earlier post, a reader commented how it was obvious his friend was in a FLM because he was afraid to let his wife know how much he paid for a stereo, fearing his wife's disapproval.  Below, our guest contributor, David share some real life experiences of his own. Thanks for sharing David.

 In our home Ms. Debbie doesn't permit me to make major purchases without her knowledge or participation. The last item she permitted me to select was a new iron; of course she deferred to me since, in our home, I do all the ironing so she let me chose. It was funny but we went into three stores and at each one the sales person originally directed their sales pitch at Ms. Debbie who informed each of them that I did the ironing and so I would be the one making the selection. I informed Ms. Debbie of my choice and she agreed, saying “So, this is the one you want?”To which I replied, “Yes, Ma'am”. The lady, making the sale, was impressed with the control Ms. Debbie had and commented that she wished her hubby did the ironing to which Ms. Debbie commented, “He can, and will if you insist on it. Men respond well if told what to do”. Old stereotypes don't apply in FLMs...

Another instance we were at a restaurant and the waiter was surprised when Ms. Debbie ordered for herself and then for me. The waiter missed his cue even after I responded “Yes, Ma'am” to a question she posed. Nevertheless, complying with the rules off patriarchy, the waiter focused his attention on me throughout the meal despite my efforts to redirect attention to Ms. Debbie. When the check was presented it was placed in front of me. Ms. Debbie took the check and provided her credit card and told him, “The sooner you learn how to treat a modern women, the better your tip will be”. She left him a minimal tip and complained to the manager. Two weeks later we visited the same restaurant and had the same waiter whose service was completely focused on Ms. Debbie. She commented to the waiter, “it seems you've learned some lessons, little man”. Indeed he had. After our last visit the restaurant manager conducted some 'gender awareness' training that made the wait staff aware of how they should treat a 'modern woman'.

Another instance concerned my after work activities. A group of guys from work were planning an after work social of sorts and I was asked to go with them. Now our FLM had some rules concerning the husband's outside activities and I announced that I couldn't go without my wife's permission – a response that took them back and resulted in some smirks and laughter. I made a call on my office speaker phone to Ms. Debbie's cell phone – she was out of town on business – and asked her permission. Within earshot, “Definitely not”, was her response, adding that I was behind on my chores and that I had better get my priorities straight. “Well, Ms. Debbie says “No” so it looks like I can't go,” I responded. Hoots of laughter followed with one so called 'friend' commenting “we know who wears the pants in your family, and who wears the pantyhose.” “Are you wearing pantyhose?” one guy, laughing, asked. Another chimed in, “What's with the Ms. Debbie thing, do you always call her Ms. Debbie?” Another added, “what does she call you, sissy David?” More laughs and a comment, “you are really pussy-whipped”. The guys left for the bar laughing and tossing more derogatory comments. Now maybe I could have gone any way but I dared not disobey Ms. Debbie – not only was I conditioned to obey, but had I gone, one or more of Ms. Debbie's woman friends who worked in my office and always kept tabs on me, would have surely let her know, resulting some serious discipline. After they left one of Ms. Debbie's woman friends, Phyllis, came to my office and said, “We heard the whole thing and you did the right thing.” She added, “but you shouldn't have asked at all, you know you have things that need tended to”. Both women posed a rhetorical question, “who do you want to please, your wife or a bunch of jerks? The answer was obvious – Ms. Debbie. The next day the harassment from the guys continued but Phillis went to our HR manager and two of the guys received a reprimand. The negative comments continued and I'm an outsider with the guys but – more importantly my stature with the women, particularly Ms. Debbie's friends, was enhanced. When Ms. Debbie returned I was given a few face slaps and admonished not to “ask stupid questions” and her rules on going out were reviewed I was rewarded when the net week I was given permission to have an after work social at the bar with Ms. Debbie's office friends, Phillis, Joan, and Charlene. The girls laughing reviewed the events of the last week and posed two questions: was I pussy-whipped like the guys said?” and “were you wearing pantyhose the night the guys wanted me to go out? To the first question my response was a resounding, “YES”. As for my wearing pantyhose as the guys alleged, well I left that question to their imagination...

David

Friday, February 22, 2019

A First Time Cuckolding Experience (By Debbie)

Please welcome our next guest poster, Debbie. Debbie was kind enough to share some background about her WLM with her husband David and their early foray into cuckolding. Thanks Debbie! Enjoy.....


I'm in a woman-led marriage with my submissive husband, David. I'm not new to femdom. My mother and aunt exercised iron clad authority telling their husbands what to do, how to do it, and when. And if their husbands didn't follow suit there was absolute hell to pay. Neither my mom or aunt worked outside the home but they didn't work inside the home either. Mom didn't do housework; she'd say she didn't want to risk breaking a nail doing something that her husband should be doing. Chores were strictly the responsibility of their husbands. Mom busied herself with soap operas, shopping, weekly trips to the beauty shop, frequent manicures, lounging by the pool, lunches with her girlfriends and, yes, entertaining boyfriends. Their husbands never objected, preferring to be told what to do rather than risk stepping out of line. The 'man-of-the-house did the cleaning, washing, ironing, and whatever else mom wanted done as spelled out on a note pad conspicuously posted in the kitchen. Mom created a certain tension frequently criticizing her husband's work and demonstrating her authority. I learned that many men are submissive and want the woman in their lives to take control. It's a lesson I took into my marriage to David.

My husband, David, a well-educated, professionally employed man who is easily pushed around by women at home and at work. I have always had my way with him. He does what he's told and does it how I want it done. David does ALL the domestic chores at home and sometimes for my mother and sister, both of whom live nearby. David loves being told what to do – it's exciting for him when I give him orders and criticism. I love bossing him around. I NEVER expected to have the situation mom and my aunt had but here I am! Our pre-nuptial that spells out that my happiness takes precedence – ALWAYS! David sounds ideal and, as a housekeeper and servant, he is. What's the problem? He's absolutely lousy in bed. Size, stamina, strength are all lacking – he's pathetic! No amount of counseling, doctor visits, and blue pills has worked. Soooo, I have to look elsewhere for sex. Honestly though, I would have done so even if David were fantastic in bed. I love flirting, the attention of other men and the excitement of a new lover.

I'm a flirt, always having my skirt a little shorter, my heels a little higher, and my make up just so. And yes, I do flirt when I'm out with my husband. Anyway, about a year after being married a guy at work was making passes at me, wanting to have dinner with him. He was younger and in great shape; yes, I was interested in him. That night I went home and told David I wanted to start dating again. I didn't wait for his reaction and tore into him reminding him that MY happiness, not his, was the basis of our marriage, something we'd agreed on in our pre-nuptial. “It's only a date”, I told him and said he shouldn't be so damn selfish. I'm not sure what he felt but he seemed to be a little excited and, with my permission, he went back to his chores. I'd worried that I just might lose my houseboy but I didn't understand just how deep submissiveness ran. He seemed so accepting that I was sure I'd have it my way all around.

My date with Rob was set for Friday; as a 'first date' we planned to have dinner and then go to a bar for drinks and dancing. Now a girl never has anything to wear so I took Friday off to buy a new club dress, have my hair done, and do my nails. I added some jewelry and a new pair of heels. Rob was picking me up at 7:00 so I started getting ready at 5:00. David, being the attentive little man he was, ran a nice bubble bath, complete with scented candles, and a glass of wine. It was so exciting for me and, I sensed, for David, too. I did my make up, slipped into a pair of thigh high nylons, thong panties, and my club dress. I felt David was taken back by the dress; it had a neckline that plunged to my waist prohibiting me from wearing a bra – all the better to show off my boobs! Long dangling earrings, a necklace David had bought me for my birthday, a clutch purse, and my wedding and engagement rings completed my outfit. I went to put on my heels and David knelt before me guiding my feet into the strappie sandals and fastening the straps – just what I'd expect from my houseboy! The doorbell rang, it was my mother and sister. My sister came to meet Rob and see me off. Mom took David to her house where she put David to work for the evening cleaning her house – a perfect evening for my houseboy! I don't know if David expected to meet Rob but he wasn't going to meet Rob – not yet anyway. “It's all about my pleasure, little man”, I commented to David, feeling my power over him surge. “Mom will bring you back when it's time and don't wait up”, I said, all of we ladies giggling. Shortly after mom took David and shortly thereafter Rob arrived and our evening started. It was all very exciting for all of us, David included! 

Rob and I had a great dinner and then went to a bar for drinks and some 'dirty dancing'. I enjoyed myself immensely, all the more since people knew that I was David's wife and Rob wasn't David. We returned home and I invited Rob in for a drink. I'm sure Rob expected sex but he had to be satisfied fondling my easily accessible boobs. I teased Rob telling him I wanted another night when we'd stay in instead of going out. We kissed deeply as he ran his hands over my body. He was gone soon after. I pored myself a drink and called mom telling her about the evening and asking her to bring my houseboy home. My sister called, and I filled her in on the evening. When David arrived I had him serve mom and I a drink and sent him off to the spare bedroom for the night. I know he wanted to know what transpired but I didn't tell him a thing – after all it was about MY pleasure, not his, although mom said he spent the entire evening wondering what I was doing. At one point he asked mom if she thought I was thinking about him. She laughed and said, “I really doubt it. I went to the master bedroom, locking the door behind me wondering whether I should have had sex with Rob. No matter it was a great evening!

Debbie

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

The Happy "House Husband"

It has been several weeks since I assigned full laundry duty to Thomas.  Laundry is the last of the "big" chores that I was still doing.  I say "big" because of the time commitment involved with keeping up with laundry in a house of 4 people. I have to admit I was concerned about putting too much work on him but it has all worked out well.  He had a few slips ups in the beginning but now he is in a good routine and I have not had to help at all for the last few weeks. What is fascinating to me is that he seems happy and proud of taking on this responsibility. If this scenario played out in a traditional marriage, it's almost certain the husband would complain about doing all the chores and he would probably slack off on the chores. It's actually hard to imagine that it's even a possibility in a traditional marriage. Prior to entering into a FLR, the possibility of my husband happily doing all the house chores for me, was not even a thought. Here we are many, many years later and it is our reality and it is going great. It works well in a FLR.

There is certainly no complaints from me. It is heaven for me not to have to worry about cleaning the bathroom, ironing, vacuuming, and doing laundry. I'm guessing just about every women reading this would agree that is a wonderful thing. The part that is hard to understand is how my husband happily does all the chores. I will do my best to explain the "how" or "why" of it all. My explanation is based on things my husband has shared with me as well as my observations and things I've read in the past from others in a FLR.

From what I gather there are three key factors at play which create this unusual dynamic. The first is his desire to serve and please me. That comes from his submissive nature. The more that he serves me, works for me, and can treat me like a Goddess or Queen, the more  it makes him happy and even excited. Yes, it arouses him to work hard for me and serve me! That is something I can not explain.  It is the submissive part of him that gets excited at being a servant to me. His primary motivator for doing the chores is to please me. Having a clean house is just an extra benefit.

The second factor is having clear expectations and structure. He has clearly defined expectations of what needs to be done and when. It is a tall list of expectations and tasks. The only way for him to stay on top of it all is to have a regular routine. From morning to night, he's got a regular routine of tasks that he does every day. Even on the weekends he follows a routine to get the needed things done. This structure keeps him productive and happy. He's busy and has a lot to do but it's not stressful (most of the time) because he knows what to do. When you think about it, this makes sense. People tend to be happy and less stressed when you take away uncertainty and they are doing productive things. Not everyone likes a structured environment but my sense is that most submissive men are happiest in this type of environment when it's created by their wife.

The last factor comes from me. I tap into his sexual needs and desires to motivate him to serve me and to reward him for his obedience. I do this through the many tools I've wrote about in my past posts, including orgasm control, lots of teasing, and embracing his submissive tendencies (e.g. exerting control over him, putting him in panties, queening him, etc.). With the extra time I gained from delegating laundry duty, I've been able to increase my focus on these motivators and it has been a great win-win situation for us. He absolutely loves all the additional teasing and attention from me and I benefit from having a clean house and chores done without doing any of the work. I am living the life of a Goddess and Queen and it is fabulous. In one of my past posts I wrote about how in a FLR, the wife should take the perspective of managing her husband versus doing things herself. It is a big change from a traditional marriage and not always an easy step to take. For many years in my FLR, I only half did this and it was a bit stressful for me. Once I fully embraced the concept and focused on managing Thomas through regularly assigning tasks, setting expectations, motivating him, providing feedback on his performance, discipline, punishment, and rewards, it made things much easier  and enjoyable for me and much more exciting for him.

All three factors are needed to make it work. If there is no desire from the husband to please and serve the wife, then it's obviously not going to work. If there is desire from the husband but there are no clear expectations and structure then it creates confusion and stress. It can even lead to depression like feelings in the husband as he can not fulfill his desires. Lastly, if the wife chose to delegate chores to the husband and spent all her extra time doing things for herself and not pay attention to him, at some point the husband will feel like he is being taken advantage of and will lose the desire to please. It is important for the wife to frequently do things to motivate and reward the husband, as well as express her appreciation for his obedience.

Please share your thoughts or real life experiences on this topic.

-Kaylee


Sunday, January 13, 2019

Posts and Comments

It makes me very happy that we have had so many people submit guest posts and that many of you are commenting on the posts. The comments are just as important as the posts. Often times it is in the comments where we learn the most and where there is discussion that make us think deeper into a subject. For me, comments are also rewarding and motivation to continue posting. It takes a lot of thought and time to write a good post and when I post something I am hopeful that others will see value in it and comment on it. I am sure the guest writers feel the same way.

I truly appreciate the contributions from our guest writers. It is great to read different views, perspectives, and ideas. Many of you have expertise and experiences in areas of FLR that I do not so it is fabulous to have others write about those things and to have readers comment on their experiences and thoughts in those areas..That is what Femdom Think Tank is all about.

Since we have had great guest posts and comments over the last few months, I've decided not to publish any new topic posts for the rest of January. Instead I'd like to request that everyone reread the past posts and comments and then submit a comment of your own about a post and also comment on someone else's comment. That's at least two comments that I want you to contribute. If from the discussion, you are compelled to write a post expressing your opinion on the topic, go for it! The only posts I will publish for the rest of the month are posts that tie back to one of the previous posts or discussions.

Lastly, one of my followers shared thoughts with me about Femdom Think Tank that really got me thinking and I'd to call out a few that really resonated with me and will hopefully encourage you to contribute in a positive way:

(1) Femdom Think Tank, in my opinion, should be not about just talking of experiences but moreover, translating those experiences (or other things that are talked about) into topics that pertain to the Femdom lifestyle and where it is going. 

I think this is a fabulous thought. The combination of both real experience and giving an opinion or advice about FLR based on that experience is very powerful and meaningful. 

(2) It's Femdom and should center around Women


Yes! When I started this blog my focus was on helping women discover and be successful in FLR.  That is still my main focus. I have to admit, initially I was not interested in hearing from men. However, there have been many thoughtful and insightful comments from men on the blog. Because of this I have learned that there is value from the comments from men and we (Women) can learn a great deal from their insights. I also recognize that by helping men, it translates to helping women. A man who is properly educated on FLR will be a better husband to his wife and can guide her towards the FLR lifestyle. So there is a place for the man's point of view on my blog but I also want to ensure the blog is female centered with the main focus on helping women. Therefore, I am going to institute a rule that the posts will be publish with a ration of 3:1 of female vs. male posts. That means I will only publish a post from a male after I have had at least 3 Female posts published. It is Femdom after all!

(3) People should share opinions about the lifestyle and there should be respectful debate between all sorts of view points; respect a valid opinions even if you do not agree; people have a right to think differently; everyone has their own world.

I love this. Share lots of view points! Please debate and debate respectfully and do not take a differing opinion personally. What is right for one couple may not work for another couple. I do not like to censor but I will not publish comments that are not respectful. Unfortunately there are a few bad apples who do not understand this which is why I am forced to monitor comments. Most of you are respectful in your comments and I appreciate that.  

O,K, Let's get to work reading and writing!

-Mz Kaylee