Redemption (by Onewhoadores)

        Sitting on the couch in the living room Dan continued to stare blankly at the wall across from him, as he had been doing for the past hour, as indeed he had been doing for increasing amounts of time far more frequently of late.  He finally roused himself to get back to his chores.  It would be what she would want, although there was much less housework to do these days.  It had been over two months now since his Wife, and Mistress, had passed away, far too young in her mid forties, after a horrific and hard fought battle with cancer.

          Theirs had been an idyllic relationship and marriage, first and foremost as loving wife and husband, but, as they had come over time to see and understand their complimentary natures, they grew and embraced their other roles with each other as well, she as his benevolent but all powerful Mistress, and he as her devoted and ever obedient slave.  Though they kept this part of their lives entirely private and known only to themselves they were no less dedicated to it.  And it continually enhanced their already deep love and commitment to each other.

          They had met when she was a young aspiring but as yet unpublished novelist and he was a new low level junior agent at a large literary agency.  She had written a novel, the first is what she hoped and planned to be a series.  But with no track record, and only a cursory appraisal of her work by more senior and experienced agents, she was assigned to him.  He quickly recognized, as others hadn’t, the great potential of her story, but was even more taken with her.  As she did not yet warrant a formal editor he took on that unofficial role as well, politely making a number of significant suggestions for changes, which as he was so obviously enthusiastic and excited about her book, and which upon reflection she did realize strongly improved her story, she went ahead to make.

          Still, as she was an unproven entity, and he had little standing yet in the industry, they found it difficult to get a foothold and fair reading at any of the major publishing houses.  As the rejections kept piling up he refused to give up for her, and he eventually came up with a proposal which, if it became known that it had originated from him would likely seriously jeopardize his  job, he presented to her anyway.  He urged her to self publish her book on the internet which was a developing modality and vehicle for new and unknown authors.  When she expressed reservations that she had no knowledge or experience in navigating the technical aspects of that realm he assured her that he did and would be happy to do so for her, outside of his official duties as her agent with the firm. As she was becoming increasingly discouraged by her lack of success so far, yet continuing to be buoyed by his ongoing support and confidence, not only in the book but in her, she reluctantly agreed.

          After his normal day job hours Dan worked tirelessly on the project.  He extensively researched which would be the best electronic publishing venue to use for the book, and then submitted it.  He went on to design an elaborate author website for her and a separate web fan club, filling both with effusive reviews and praise for the book sent in by him and as many friends and relatives that he could enlist.  He also posted comments about her story an other authors’ websites, trying to achieve as much exposure for it as he was able.

          None of these efforts would have mattered much if the book wasn’t any good.  But it was.  It was very, very good, with a unique flavor of eroticism rarely if ever seen before in mainstream literature, coupled with a crackling romantic adventure narrative that ensnared and entranced.  Before long, as word of web spread, reader numbers began to steadily climb as did the number of now unsolicited exemplary reviews including more than a few from already established writers.  After six months the book had worked its way up onto the e-print best seller list, and when she soon after posted her second book in the series it became an instant e-book best seller, rapidly advancing up to #1.

          This success did not go unnoticed by the major publishing houses, all of whom began to contact her to negotiate for the rights to her entire series in their traditional print medium.  As she was still technically represented by the Literary Agency they brought her in and indicated to her that because of her success she now needed and would be assigned to a far more experienced and senior agent.  She replied in no uncertain terms that she wanted to continue on with Dan.  As they were unaware and ignorant of the unauthorized role he had played in her ascent they were incredulous at her demand and informed her that as he had achieved so little, not only with her account but with others to which he had been assigned, that he had recently been let go from the firm.  While she had not known this, and was a bit wounded that he hadn’t told her, she retorted to them that this served her purposes perfectly as she was  severing her relationship with the agency and that Dan would now serve as her exclusive agent.

           When she later apprised him of her action he tried to convince her that she was making a mistake and that she would more greatly benefit from a more heavyweight and influential advocate.  Nonsense, she responded.  They were a team and were in this together and she intended that it remain so.  It was at that moment that his prolonged infatuation with her, almost from the first moment that he had met her, became one of undying love.

          He tried his utmost to keep his feelings for her well hidden.  She was beautiful and vivacious, so confident and strong, and he was none of the latter three and only average looking at best.  And she was a rising star and growing celebrity in the literary world, and he would do everything for her to have that continue to be so.  She was so far out of his league that he was terrified that if he reached for anything beyond their working relationship, no matter how much he might yearn for it, he would lose what he did have with her.  He worked diligently on her behalf and soon gained a hefty six figure advance for the third book in her series, and separate six figure contracts for the rights to the dead tree editions of her first two books as well.  When her third book was finally published, to almost universal acclaim and enthusiastic popularity, she was well on her way to high fame and resultant fortune.  And she couldn’t be more proud and professionally happy. 

           Despite his best efforts at remaining in shadow, over time Maureen became increasingly aware of his amorous affection for her.  And she came to realize more and more how desirous she was becoming to reciprocate, and wondered at his reticence to act upon it.  As she got to know him even better she began to understand why and, strangely, this attracted her to him all the more.  Finally one evening, on the pretense of having him to her place to go over the details of the publicity campaign for her latest book, she figuratively took the bull by the horns and declared to him that the time had come for them to become a team in more intimate ways as well.  His head snapped up as he thought that she most definitely had to be playing with him.  But as he looked into to her confidently smiling face, her unyielding gaze bore down deep within him to captivate and capture his very being.  And for the first time, but most certainly not the last, he utterly and joyously submitted to her will.  Not so very long after they were married.

           Dan was a continual whirlwind of emotions as he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe in his exceedingly good fortune, so he strove mightily every day to justify and prove himself worthy of it ... and of her.  He did all that he could, both big and small, to make her life easier and more comfortable.  For her part Maureen reveled in his constant catering and pampering of her as she reasoned that she worked more than hard enough on her writing to not also be burdened with all the mundane and menial every day tasks.  So why not have him be responsible for all the daily household chores and duties as long as he was happy doing them.  As he certainly seemed to be.  And so their lives settles into a contented and mutually agreeable routine.

          As time went on though Maureen began to more actively contemplate this particular feature of their relationship.  There was no doubt that their love for each other was the prime and firm foundation which bound and held them together. But she began to be enamored with the idea that this other aspect might not be an important part of their attraction, and whether they ought to examine it more fully together to see if it might enhance what they already had.  So one night after he had finished cleaning up after another of his delicious dinners she asked him to get them both a glass of her favorite wine and join her in the living room.  Once they were both comfortably settled she announced that she wanted them to have a full, frank and honest discussion about their own personal deep wants, needs and desires, both for themselves, and from each other.

          Surprised, unsuspecting and unprepared, and even more than a little fearful, Dan was initially hesitant and reticent, so she took the lead.  Beginning slowly and cautiously she treaded superficially at first but then began to delve more deeply, discovering, uncovering and revealing so many things that she had kept secret, even from herself.  Emboldened and stimulated by his wife’s outpouring candor and sincerity he began to admit and expose elements of his own spirit which he had always kept hidden from all.  Now out in the open and in full view they were both astonished and amazed at how closely their inner natures fitted and complimented one another. They both continued on to a point of exhilarating exhaustion, and while they had detailed so much, both large and small, the essence of it all came down to two simple truths ... Maureen was driven to rule ... and Dan so wanted to be ruled, though only by her.

           They then acknowledged what almost of a certainty had to come next.  Without the need of any written compact, nor a plethora of rituals and protocols, though some would be employed and enjoyed, they knew that while they would always be, in all circumstances, a loving wife and husband, they now in the privacy of their own relationship would also live as ... a Mistress and her slave.

          She quickly took to frequently refer to him affectionately as ‘my slave’, and he thrilled just as often to answer to her as ‘Mistress’.  As with any couple there were still times of disagreement although they never any longer degenerated into fights, as her word had become law and his sole response became unquestioned obedience.  This did not mean that she did not want his thoughts and opinions, which she always found valuable and wanted him to openly express, and which she also knew would often help guide and influence her.  But final decisions were now solely hers.

           Still, there were times, especially early on, when discipline was called for and required, and in her now voluminous readings on the web for educational purposes about ‘dominance and submission’ she discovered that many if not most web advisors felt that such should be corporeal in nature.  She found this abhorrent and vowed never to use any such means.  She could never physically hurt someone whom she loved so dearly.  Instead she chose to discipline him by expressing her extreme disappointment in his actions and banishing him from her presence for however long she felt it appropriate.  This proved for him to be the worst punishment that he could face.

          Their sexual life also became more vibrant and exquisitely fulfilling.  On their night of enlightenment they had also been stunned by how closely their self confessed fantasies, kinks and fetishes meshed so well, and they quickly began to incorporate, explore and experiment together with each and all of them.  Their new paradigm, to which they both became fully committed, was that such endeavors would from then on be exclusively focused on her pleasure, while his would be of no considered consequence. They engaged in such quite frequently, always at her initiation, and he strove continually to find and perfect ways to propel her to ever higher frenzied and unrestrained heights and climaxes, usually numerous times on each occasion.  Often, as she approached her final zenith of ecstacy she would, only after her express permission, allow him to simultaneously share in that orgasmic joy together with her, because doing so immensely pleased her as well.  This was often ... but not always, as she felt that unpredictable denial helped to keep him on his toes as to where his real attention and purpose lay.  This was not really necessary, as pleasing her to her ultimate was his own greatest pleasure, and any other that she might deign to bestow on him was an added bonus, for which he always offered his most heartfelt gratitude.

          And so their lives progressed.  In the outside world she was an ever more successful and acclaimed writer and he was her astute and stalwart business manager.  With their many friends and relatives they shared countless and enjoyable times and every day activities and experiences.  They were felt by almost everyone to be fun loving, generous, loyal and most of all the perfect example of a loving wife and husband.  In the privacy of their home they were all of that and so much more.  The so much more was as a caring Mistress and devoted slave.  And the years rolled by as they continued to live in such wedded bliss.     

          And then the illness struck.    

           At first they were both terrified but the doctors sought to reassure them that it could be managed, controlled and even possibly overcome, and for a time it was.  But then it recurred, beginning a series of relapses and ever shorter remissions as she suffered through too many courses of chemo and radiation therapies.  As she grew weaker and more dependant Dan was with her every moment of the way, getting her to every appointment, brainstorming with each and every doctor searching for new strategies forward, and at the same time seeing as best as was conceivably possible to her ever more increasing physical and emotional needs.  Despite his all consuming efforts she continued to fade and he couldn’t help the feeling that he was failing her.  When she sensed this she tried to make it clear to him that this was in no way so.

           Her one major goal, once it became apparent that this was no longer a fight that could be won, was to finish the 10^th and concluding book in her singular series.  She labored harder and harder every day and in the end Dan, who knew her style and mind as no other, filled in what gaps that she was unable, and collaborating together they finally finished it.  When it was done she said ‘enough’.  No more treatments, no more struggle.  What time she had left would be spent in restful peace and comfort with her husband, who was never as glad or appreciated more that he was also her slave.  They spent many hours on their veranda overlooking the lake on which they lived, he sitting on a chair next to her medical recliner, sometimes conversing, sometimes in silence, but always holding hands.  One evening, as they watched the sun set, her favorite time of the day, he felt her squeeze his hand.  Looking over to her he saw that her eyes were closed but there was a hint of a wistful, even hopeful smile.  Her squeeze lessened ... and she passed on.

 ********

           Dan finished his vacuuming, which actually hadn’t really needed to be done.  As he began to think of what further chores he could do, anything to stay busy and not again start staring mindlessly at the wall as he had been doing far too often, the doorbell rang.  In the first month he had received a large number of phone calls and visits from well wishers but this had thankfully lessened significantly during the second month such that it had dwindled down to only three texts in the most recent two weeks.  So the ringing doorbell came as a bit of a surprise, especially as most visitors usually called ahead to announce their intentions to visit.  What shocked him even more as he opened the door was the person standing on the other side.

          “Donna” he exclaimed, more uncertainly than he would have liked.

          Donna had become his wife’s best and closest female friend over the last number of years.  She was a layout editor at one of the more popular women’s magazines and the two had met when the magazine was doing a lead feature article on Maureen.  The two of them had instantly clicked and before long were on the phone constantly with each other as well as doing all sorts of activities together.  These never included Dan.  After some period of this he timorously asked his Mistress one day if he should be jealous.  “Only of my time.” she had answered with a grin and twinkle in her eyes.  “Never of my exclusive amorous affections.”

          On those few occasions when they were all together, Donna, while superficially polite, always remained cooly distant and guarded with him.  He had finally asked his wife again, this time why it was that Donna didn’t seem to like him.  More seriously on this occasion she had replied the it wasn’t him, but that Donna had ‘issues’, and had left it at that.  Donna had visited Maureen often in the last days and he had always left them alone together.  But he hadn’t seen her since the funeral, when, after offering him some quick words of condolence she had hurried away as if she couldn’t get out of his presence fast enough.

          “May I come in?” she asked, finally breaking the awkward silence as they stood at the front door.

          “Um, yes. Of course.  Please do.” he stammered, stepping aside so she could enter.  After another moment of hesitation he led her into the living room where they continued standing several more long seconds until he finally invited her to sit.

          “Can I get you something to drink?” he asked, not knowing what else to say.

          “A glass of water would be nice.” she replied, also seeming to search for a way to proceed.  He rushed into the kitchen and brought her back a glass of ice water that he handed to her as he remained standing.

          “Is there something else I can do for you Donna?” he finally asked, perplexed.

          She looked down at her hands and then back up at him.  “Could you also please sit down.” she asked, seeming a bit flustered and making it clear that she was uncomfortable with him hovering over her.  Never wanting to cause anyone distress, especially someone who apparently already held him in low regard, he did as she bid and sat down across from her.  And waited.

          She took a deep breath.  “Dan,” she began, “the last time I was with Maureen she made a request of me.  She gave me something to give to you after she was ... gone.”   He immediately wondered what it could be and why Maureen hadn’t just left it for him with the same instructions.  “I thought I would wait a bit to bring it to you ... to give us both a little time to adjust and get settled.”  In actuality she hadn’t wanted to come at all, and had thought often of just sending it to him.  But Maureen had been adamant that she deliver it in person and stay until he was finished.  It was her best friend’s last living request of her and she really couldn’t bring herself to refuse.  But it had taken her this long to comply,  particularly as there had come one other request that had followed, one to which she didn’t yet know how to respond.

          “What is it?”

          Dan broke through her reverie.  The time had come.  She opened up her pocketbook and brought out a letter sized envelope with his name handwritten on it.  She gave it over to him.  Though dying to rip it open immediately, the last thing he wanted to do was read his wife’s final communication to him in front of somebody else.  He looked over to her.

          “Donna, I don’t want to be rude, and I do want to thank you for bringing this to me, but do you think you might ... you know ...”

          She looked equally unsettled but proceeded as she had been asked.  “Maureen was quite explicit with me Dan, that I stay with you until you were finished reading it.”

          What could possibly be contained within, he thought, that his wife had believed it necessary for somebody to be with him as he read it, especially someone like Donna who already thought so little of him.  Still, it was his Mistress’ wish, among her last at that, and even at this point he would do nothing else but obey.  Ever so carefully, so as not to damage in any way one of the final things that she had ever written, he unsealed the envelope, removed and unfolded her letter.  With eyes already glistening he began to read.

My Dear, Dearest Dan,

       My Darling Husband ... ‘My slave’

       While you are reading this I will be gone.  I know that you often felt and may well still feel now that you somehow failed me.  I cannot plead with you more emphatically that nothing could ever be further from the truth.  My body failed me, not you.  You were my rock.  Without you constantly by my side I could not have endured, and without you there I wouldn’t have wanted to endure.  You were the only reason that I fought so hard, so that I could spend every last joyful moment with you that I had left.  My only gnawing regret is that as I go I am leaving you behind.  Alone.

       I also know you so well that I know that you will deeply mourn and grieve, and while this is necessary for a time I truly hope and strongly desire that you not do so for too long.  You will need, and I dearly want you to move on with your life, to find new purpose and a road to happiness beyond that which we so wonderfully had.

       My greatest fear for you though is that left so alone in sorrow you may go down one of two polar opposite paths.  The first is that you will withdraw in grief and self recrimination and shut yourself away from the world, wrongly believing that you are somehow unworthy and undeserving of any future love and joy.  My other, maybe even greater fear is that unmoored from the strength of our relationship you will too rapidly and recklessly strive to find any new port in the storm, someone to whom you can offer all that you have of yourself as you have done for me.  I am so afraid though that in your wounded and susceptible state you may be seized by someone who will not love and cherish you for what you give, but will instead only take and use you for their own selfish purposes and advantage.

       I know I may sound paranoid and I may well be.  But I know that such people exist and I will not be there to keep you safe.  In the outside professional world you are so capable and brilliant that anyone would feel the utmost confidence in putting their life in your hands (as I did, you may recall).  But in the personal you may be so vulnerable.  So I ask, beg, plead, as one who has loved you beyond measure, that you do indeed search for new happiness after I am gone, but please take the utmost care and be sure of your unfettered love and devotion before you offer yourself up fully to someone new.

       You are no doubt wondering why I have asked Donna to bring you this letter, particularly as you have always felt that she doesn’t like you.  While I have tried to reassure yo that this is not the case I have never explained why, but I feel it is necessary to do so now, even as I break her confidence to do so.  Donna married very young, to a brutal man who abused and regularly beat her, and who had his way with her whenever HE wanted.  She suffered this horribly for many years and though at times she sought help from others she received none, even from the legal system.  She only escaped when after one of his physical and drunken rages he stormed out of their house and was killed in an auto accident. 

       Even though she was then free of him she has never been able to overcome her intense distrust, fear, and maybe even hatred of men.  All men.  I have tried over time to convince her that not all men are like that, that many are kind, caring and giving.  In my attempts to do so I now have to confess to you that I revealed to her the essence of our relationship.  All of it.  Please forgive me for this, my love.  I know that we both always strove to keep knowledge of that special part of our life to ourselves.  But aside from you she is my closest friend in the world, and I have so wanted her to see, to know, to understand that there is so much more and better to have and experience in and with men.  Yet she still can’t bring herself to believe, so that part of her life remains so poisoned and sad

       I have also written a final letter to her to be opened after my death.  In it I have related to her part of my concerns about you after I am gone, how I greatly fear that you might fully withdraw within yourself in your grief and how I feel that you will need something to draw you back into the world.  I express how you have always enjoyed working with your hands outdoors with manual projects and I implore her as a final favor and gift to me to see if she might find some way to involve you with such things for her, to try to help take your mind away from your grief.  While I do believe that this indeed would be of some benefit for you, my major hope and purpose in this is that if she can bring herself to do so she can begin to see that some men can be safe, generous and giving while expecting nothing back in return.  And there is nobody in the world who is a better example of that than you.  If she can experience these attributes with you then perhaps she will be able to find the courage and desire to allow herself to have a relationship with someone in the future who can bring her the joy and comfort that she has never had, but so deserves.

       In my letter to Donna I do not reveal that I have now told you of her past, or that I have also made you aware of her own knowledge of our ‘special’ relationship.  To her my request is all about seeking to help you and I don’t want there to be any issues that might dissuade her.  I don’t know if she can overcome the barricades she has set up in her life and accede to my final wish.  I truly hope that she does, and if so I ask, but do not order, that you my slave play your part as well.  I do feel that it will also help you to find the strength to begin your own search for new happiness, which is more important to me than anything else. 

       Know always Dan that you have always been the light and love of my life, and I have cherished every moment that I have spent of it with you.  But as mine now ends my most fervent prayer is that you begin a new life with new love.  Find happiness.  That is my last and greatest wish.

       And command.

Your eternally loving,

Maureen

          After he finished reading Dan slowly dropped his hands with the letter onto his lap, tears silently trickling down his cheeks.  He brought one arm back up to wipe across his eyes.  He hated looking so weak and pathetic, especially in front of someone who disdained and likely even detested him.  Donna, who had watched him throughout hoping that he would be settled and sturdy enough that she wouldn’t even need to consider acting on Maureen’s request, saw instead how dispirited and lost he appeared.  She even felt more than a pang of envy for what Maureen had possessed, and almost wanted to reach out to touch and console him.  But this would break through a wall that she had set up around herself and she couldn’t allow that to happen.  In the outside public world she could interact with men professionally when and if necessary, but never so in the personal one.  This was why she was so conflicted about what Maureen had asked of her to do, and why she had waited so long to even bring him her letter.  She truly didn’t know how to proceed. 

          Dan finally gathered and composed himself.  “Thank you for bringing this to me Donna.” he said quietly.

          “Yes, well, um ... I thought it might mean a bit more if I waited some before bringing it.” she answered weakly.

          “It means the world.  Again, thank you.” he replied, hoping that this would signal to her that she didn’t need to offer anything more.

          It was decision time, and despite her major misgivings, Maureen had been her greatest friend. 

          “Uh, Dan,” she began, “Maureen wrote a letter to me as well.”

          The die was cast. 

          “Yes, she mentioned that in here.”

          “Yes, well, ah, in mine she asked if I might look in on you from time to time ... to see how you were doing and maybe help get you out of the house and get your mind off things.  She said that you liked especially outdoor manual type activities to keep busy.”

          He really didn’t want to go down this road, and his Mistress had made it clear that she wasn’t making it a command.  But any such wish that she could make, particularly in the manner that she had, was to him now an inviolate edict.  He had no choice.

          “What did you have in mind, Donna?” he responded, knowing that he would move forward with it whatever.

          “I don’t know, “ she stammered, as she really didn’t.  She had not really anticipated that it would reach this point.  She frantically cast around in her thoughts for something, anything, and finally grasped at the first thing that presented itself, hoping that he would find it too juvenile and demeaning and refuse outright and they would be done with it.  “Well, I was paying a local high school boy to mow my lawn every week but he went off to college about a month ago and I haven’t looked for anybody else or gotten a lawn service or anything to replace him yet, and well, I guess it would seem very foolish but ...”

          “I would be happy to do it for you.” he broke in.  “For free.” he added, smiling.  “When would you like me to come over.”

          She couldn’t bear the thought of being home when he was there.  It had been hard enough for her to come today.  It had to be when she was at work, and this was already Saturday.

          “How about Monday.’ she said. “The mower is in the shed.  Let me give you my cell number and you can text me if there are any problems.”

          “Excellent.” he replied as she handed him a slip with the number and her address.  “Monday it is then.”

          She couldn’t leave quickly enough. 

          When Dan arrived at her house on Monday, following his GPS as he had never been there before, he calculated upon looking that it had to be at least a month since the lawn had been mowed, and likely even longer that the shoulder high hedges that lined her spacious back yard had been trimmed.  She had a large front yard as well.   In the far corner of the back yard he found and entered the shed.  Fortunately she had a power mower, and after cleaning it up and putting gas in he set about mowing both front and back.  As they were both fairly overgrown it took him far longer than it would usually, having to frequently empty the catchment bag and packing the mown grass into refuse bags.  It took about three hours to finish.  Although it hadn’t been specifically discussed or asked he then went about trimming the hedges as they were in dire need of it.  With this though, as there were only manual hedge shears, it took him the better part of the rest of the day to complete that task.

          He had to admit that it did feel good to be out working again in the fresh air.  His wife had been right that he enjoyed doing physical chores, although far more so when he was doing them for her.  Still, as he left for his own home he felt invigorated and satisfied with his day’s activities.

          Donna, who had procrastinated leaving work so that there would be a better chance that he would be gone when she got home, was astonished with what he had accomplished.  The lawns were well trimmed, and the hedges, which she hadn’t even thought about, hadn’t looked as good in years.  She felt that she had to acknowledge it somehow so she texted him a thank you, commenting on how nice it all looked.  He texted back that it had been his pleasure and that he would be happy to come back every Monday to keep everything up to snuff.  It took a while before she texted an enigmatic one word reply, ‘Okay’.

          So for the next several months Dan went over every Monday.  Not only did he now mow the lawns and trim the hedges, but he also fertilized, weeded and replanted her small untended flower bed as well as a number of large flower pots that she had on her front porch and back deck.  With her acquiescence he also undertook a number of projects including fixing a broken railing and step on her porch, and power washing and then water staining her deck which was in bad need of both.

          They communicated only by text, but as time went on their messages grew longer and more involved, and not only about his work around her house.  He would frequently compliment her on her  layout designs on specific features that he admired in her magazine, and she would congratulate him on the huge success of the posthumous publication of Maureen’s last book which he had shepherded through, and then on the multi eight figure contract he secured for the film rights to her series.  They also began to often inquire about each other’s well being, and she surprised herself by how genuinely interested she had become in his, if only electronically.  They both were content that they were fulfilling their respective obligations to Maureen so comfortably and painlessly.

          It was after six months as such that on one Monday which was a national holiday, Donna decided to stay at home to finally get to some in house projects that she had been putting off for too long.  She never even imagined that Dan would come over to work on a holiday.  Her first order of business was to take down the heavy drapes covering her living room picture window to clean them. As she reached the top of her step ladder to begin unhooking one end she heard a sound outside.  Looking out she saw him working on the flower garden right in front of the window.  Not wanting him to know that she was at home she quickly twisted away from the window but lost her balance.  The step ladder tumbled over and she fell hard to the floor.

          Outside, Dan heard the crash and subsequent pain ridden scream.  He hadn’t know that she was home but he rushed to the front door and found it locked.  From his activities he knew that she kept a spare key hidden under one of the flower pots, which he rapidly retrieved and hurried inside to find her on the living room floor in agony, holding her right arm with her other.

          “Donna, are you hurt?  What happened?” he exclaimed.

          “I fell off the stool and I think I broke my arm.” she cried, trying to hold back sobs.

          Seeing the odd angle that her wrist was hanging he surmised that she was likely right.  “We have to get you to a hospital right away.” he declared.

          “Please just call 911 and get me an ambulance.” she responded in anguish.

          “We’re not going to wait for that.” he asserted and strode over and gingerly picked her up into his arms.  He momentarily wondered if the flinch in her that he felt was only due to her pain.  He carried her out to his car, setting her down carefully to open the passenger side door, then secured her in the seat, got in the driver’s side himself and sped off tho the nearest hospital.

          They spent the better part of the rest of the day in the emergency room.   The doctors eventually confirmed that she had broken both bones in the lower part of her forearm and one in her elbow as well.  An orthopedist finally arrived to set and cast it from above her elbow to her wrist flexed 90 degrees at the elbow, and told her that she would have to remain in the cast for  about eight weeks.

          Throughout it all Dan never left her side, and handled many of the necessary queries that she was too dazed and upset to ask.  When they were done, after a stop at a local pharmacy to pick up some pain medication which the ER doctor had called in for her, he drove her home.  When they arrived he noted that neither of them had eaten all day and he offered to make them both dinner.  She protested that he had already done far too much, and that she really didn’t have any appetite.  He insisted that she needed to keep up her nutrition to begin to heal, and she didn’t have any fight left in her to demur.

          Sitting in the living room as he set about the dinner preparations she began to seriously fret about how she was going to manage everything for the next two months with her one arm immobilized.  Driving was clearly out of the question, and even normal daily living activities suddenly seemed very daunting.  As the pain medication started to take effect though, the delectable smells wafting from the kitchen made her realize that she really was hungry, and when he came in to announce that dinner was ready she didn’t offer any resistance.

          The meal truly was delicious although her ongoing worry tempered some of her enjoyment of it.  He suggested that she take the next day off from work to collect herself and recover some.  She concurred but stated that she couldn’t take any more time off than that.  He then asked how she planned to get to and from work, which had already been weighing heavily in her mind.

          “I guess I’ll have to contract a car service.” she lamented, internally wincing at the severe crimp that would put in her already tight budget.

          “Nonsense.” he replied.  “I can take and pick you up every day.”

          “Dan, I can’t expect you to do that.  It’s way too much to ask.”

          He grinned, a bit mischievously.  “Wasn’t it part of your charge from Maureen to keep me busy.  And I’ve got little but time on my hands, so I won’t take no for an answer.”

          He appeared so good natured about it, and it did at least take part of the financial burden off her shoulders, that she couldn’t come up with any viable argument.  With major internal reluctance she agreed.

          Bright and early on Wednesday morning Dan picked her up.  Twice the day before he had stopped over to check on how she was doing and to bring her lunch and dinner but he hadn’t stayed, knowing that she needed her rest, and her space.  Donna didn’t know quite what to make of it and on the ride to work she remained mostly silent except to dutifully thank him for all that he was doing.  After he had left her off at her office, instead of going to his own home he went back to hers where he set about doing the things he knew she would be unable.  He made her bed, vacuumed or swept all the floors, cleaned all the bathrooms and tidied up anything that was in disarray.  He then made preparations for her dinner in a slow cooker he had brought from home before it was finally time to go pick her up at the end of her work day.

When they arrived back she was incredulous and even a little dismayed at all that he had done.

          “Why Dan?  Why are you doing all of this?” she asked, truly perplexed and even somewhat angry.

          “Because you need the help.” he answered simply at first.  “And I enjoy doing things like this, and it’s really nice doing them for someone else again for a change.” he went on.  “And you were Maureen’s best friend and she would have wanted me to do this for you.  And for me.” he finally concluded.

          She carefully considered everything he just said.  Maureen had often related to her that her husband always had an innate need to be of need, and now it was Donna herself that had a great need.  Maybe she should accept his aid, just for the necessary two months, and it would benefit them both.  And it would also more fully fulfill Maureen’s last request.

          For his part there was more than a germ of truth in it all.  He really did enjoy doing this type of work, especially for someone else.  And Maureen had been right to be concerned that in his grief, and with his need to give of himself and be lovingly possessed, he would throw himself at the first available dominant woman, who might use and abuse and unscrupulously ensnare him before he could realize his folly and escape.  There was no such risk of that with Donna.  She would have no interest in him in that way, or likely in any way at all.  He now could see that Maureen had been right about her as well.  Because of her past she had encased herself in a hard shell, at least as far as men were concerned.  Maybe with the kindness he could offer that shell might crack a bit and she might eventually allow herself the chance to share herself with someone.  At least that had been Maureen’s hope.  And if Donna took him up on his offer he might then also become better prepared and ready to more successfully find someone himself down the line.

          “Fair enough.” Donna finally acknowledged.  “I obviously do need the help and I really do appreciate it Dan.  Even if you’re doing it more for Maureen’s sake.” she added with the first smile she had graced him with since her accident.

          “For Maureen then.” he said with a grin.

          “For Maureen.” she concurred.

          It was safer for them both to consider it such.

          And so their routine was established.  Every work day morning he would pick her up and drive her to work, then return to her place to take care of the housework that needed to be done.  Initially she had balked at him doing her laundry but had quickly came to realize the wisdom and necessity of it.  Before he would then go to pick her up at the end of the day he would start to prepare their evening meal, which they would eat together, after which he would clean up, make sure she was settled, and then leave for his own home.

          At first their rides to and from her job it were quiet, hers an uneasy one and his respectful.  But after a few trips she began to loosen and soon they were talking about all manner of things.  As she started to open up he found her to be very engaging, and she discovered him to be quite a funny and insightful conversationalist, but even more importantly an avid listener.  She found that her thoughts and opinions really appeared to matter to him, as she would go on at length about her job, current events, social activities, and even after a time, some of her personal life, although never anything about her previous marriage.

          As time went on she also found herself thinking more often about the ‘special’ and unusual part of the relationship that he had shared with Maureen.  While she couldn’t quite fathom what that all was about and what it meant, there was one small but particular aspect that had always intrigued and even enticed her.  She hadn’t had the courage yet to bring it up, but one evening about a month into her recovery, after he had listened attentively to her vent at length about the exhausting and frustrating day she had with a difficult photo shoot at work, after that had helped to calm her she did still feel more than a bit on edge.  When he asked if there was anything he might do to help she suddenly thought that this might be the perfect time to broach the subject, just to see how he might react.

          “Well Dan,” she said slowly after taking another sip of wine to also help fortify her.  “Maureen once mentioned to me that you give the most amazing foot rubs and that they always helped to totally relax her after a busy day.”

          He was very surprised.  And pleased.  And excited.

          “I guess she always did enjoy them.” he replied.  “I’d be more than happy to do one for you if you’d like.”

          Of course she would like.  That’s why she had brought it up.  From all that Maureen had confided in her and attempted to explain, one part that had always  piqued her imagination despite all of her efforts to suppress it, was that someone, a man, would perform something like that for her ... and only as that.  But now faced with the stark reality of his offer she wasn’t quite so sure she wanted to proceed.  This would be a great boundary to cross, a major intrusion into her personal space which she had never allowed since ...   At least by her own volition.  But it was only her feet that would be touched and she had become comfortable and secure enough in his company to believe he would not try to advantage himself  beyond that.  And in any event, she smiled inwardly to herself, she had her hard cast as a lethal deterrent.

          “I think that would be very nice and that I’d like it a lot.” she finally responded.

          “Excellent.” he proclaimed.  “Why don’t you go settle down on the couch while I go get some lotion.”

          She made her way into the living room and sat on the edge at one end of the couch and waited.  Tensely.

          Dan came in with the bottle of scented body lotion in his hands.  To her shock he did not sit on the other end of the couch as she had assumed that he would so that she could put her legs up in the space between them.  Instead he knelt down in front of her and carefully removed her flats and socks.

          “You have very pretty feet” he murmured, almost as if to himself.  “But that’s no surprise.”

          Donna was startled.  Other than her parents no one had ever called any part of her pretty before.  And she wondered even more at the second part of his claim.  But any consternation she had quickly withered away as he expertly began to knead first one, and then later her other foot.  His hands full of rubbed-warm lotion he softly massaged her entire foot before then pressing and rotating both of his thumbs deeply into her heels, then her arch, onto the ball, and finally the entirety of each and every toe between two of his fingers.  Without any words spoken between them he ministered to her feet for well over thirty minutes.  When he was done her entire body had never felt so at ease, every twinge of tension melted away.

          “Dan, that was fantastic” she sighed.

          He grinned up at her.  “Then I guess we’ll have to make this part of my daily duties.” 

          Try as she might she couldn’t see any reason why not.

          And so they did.

          In addition to driving her to and back from work each day, Dan made sure to get her to all of her doctor appointments, the last one coming after eight weeks when the cast finally came off.  The orthopedist pronounced himself pleased with the result and told Donna that other than some physical therapy to build up the mildly atrophied muscles in her arm she was cleared for all activities, including driving.  She was so excited that she badgered Dan into letting her drive home.

          As they rode he couldn’t help but share in her delight although it was tinged with more than a touch of sadness now that his part in it all was coming to an end.  He had become very happy in being able to give himself up again, even in this small and temporary way, even for ... no, he had to now amend that to ... especially for Donna.  When she had finally allowed her shell to open even a tiny bit he saw within what a vibrant, engaging, keenly intelligent woman that she was.  This was the person whom Maureen had known and was so fond.  And it was his wife’s final wish for her that others, most specifically of the male persuasion, be allowed to come to know also.  Well, he had played his part to fulfill his wife’s request, but he now also dearly hoped that Donna would indeed allow it.  For her own sake, and maybe someday for some very lucky man.

          He had made her a very special dinner, complete with champagne, to celebrate.  During the meal he regaled her with story after story, and they laughed together, sometimes so hard they almost cried.  When it came time to clean up she offered to help now that she was able but he fended her off with mock admonishment asking why she wanted to spoil his streak.

          As she then sat on her couch in the living room with the last vestiges of her champagne she realized that her own joy at being now free of her disability was also bittersweet.  To her great surprise she had come to appreciate Dan’s company and would sorely miss having him around.  She understood now what a treasure Maureen had possessed, as she had always said.  Donna had never believed, maybe had never wanted to believe.  But now she only wished all the best for Dan, and that he might once again find someone to take and cherish him as much as ... Maureen had.

          When he came in to announce that everything was done and he was ready to go she suddenly didn’t want him to leave ... yet.

          “What about my foot massage?” she blurted out to delay.

          His eyes brightened although his insides quailed at the knowledge of this being the last one.  “Of course.  How unforgivable of me to forget.” he apologized, and then rushed off to get her lotion.  Except for the very first time, they usually chatted continuously when he ministered to her feet, but this time as he knelt before her no words passed until about midway through when she finally found the resolve to ask what she had held within her since that very first one.

          “Dan?” she began

          He looked up, sensing a different type of urgency in her voice.

          “Yes?”

          “You once said that you thought that my feet were pretty.”

          “Indeed they are.”

          “But you also said that it was no surprise.”  She hesitated a moment.

“What did you mean by that?”

          “Only that why shouldn’t they be like every other part of you.”  He paused as few seconds but then continued.  He couldn’t restrain himself.  “But I now have to sincerely ask you to forgive me for so markedly understating that, for using such a grossly inadequate word.

          She was almost afraid to ask.

          “What word would you use?”

          “Beautiful.” he whispered.

          The silence that now enveloped them was almost palpable as they both tried to absorb what had just occurred.  Finally Dan was so overwhelmed he couldn’t stop himself again.  It had been so long.

          “Donna,” he breathed

          “Yes?”

          “May I ...”  He could feel her defenses starting to rise but he was too far gone.

          “May I ... kiss your foot?”

          She was rocked back, internally.  It was a small thing really, a simple request.  But one that would raise the level of intimacy many orders of magnitude.  Another barrier, but one that she didn’t believe she could cross as who she was, and what she had been.  She knew of the special ‘other’ relationship that had existed between he and Maureen, and she didn’t think that he knew that she knew.  So she understood in a way how much it would mean to him.  And as she looked down at him she also intuitively understood now that he would accept a refusal unquestioningly.  And it was only her foot, the lowest part of her, and he would be the one abasing himself.  It was a small thing, and he had done so much for her.  Still ...

          “No Daniel.  You may not kiss my foot.”

          She could see the resigned acceptance on his face as he nodded and gently placed her foot back on the floor.

          “But if you beseech MISS Donna more properly, that it would demonstrate your genuine gratitude for being allowed to serve her, then your plea might be reconsidered.”

          His head snapped up as he gazed at her in wonder.  And his heart swelled as it hadn’t since ...

          “Please Miss Donna, please I beg you,” he began urgently.  “Please grant me the honor and privilege to express my unending thankfulness to you for having allowed me into your service.  As a symbol I beg you to allow me to exalt myself this once, beyond anything that I deserve, by kissing your foot.”

          Donna was exhilarated more than she could have ever suspected, and took the plunge as she slowly raised one foot several inches off the floor.

          “You may.” she said simply.

          Dan placed his hands delicately around her foot and raised it somewhat more as he lowered his face down.  He reverently brought his lips to rest just in front of her toes and let them linger there for several seconds.  This touch sent shivers throughout her body, and she lifted her other foot before him.  He shifted his face to place a single soft kiss on that one as well, and her shivers become even more intense. He guided both of her feet back onto the floor and remained kneeling with his head bowed, totally enthralled.

          “Is that all?” she broke in sharply.  “Is that how little you would express your gratitude.” 

          “No Miss Donna, please ... I just thought ... I would never presume ...”

          “Yes, you may be right.  You should never presume.  You should only ever do what you’re told.”  She looked down on him again, having never felt so empowered, so in control.

          “Worship my feet Daniel.  Pay homage to them.  Pay homage to ME.”    

          Dan needed no further encouragement.  He bent down once again, cupping one foot in his hands, and began softly caressing with his lips the top, moving on to the back, then to her heel, her arch, and the ball.  He started interspersing each kiss with gentle licks which became much more lavish as he reached her toes.  He went back and forth like this between each of her feet, knowing  without any doubt that this was where he belonged, at the feet of a superior woman.  And Donna was undeniably a superior woman ... and wondrous ... and so very, very beautiful.  If only she would allow others to see her so.

          For Donna, her shivers became shudders and then tremors.  At one point, when he was licking her toes, of her own volition and unable to stop herself she pushed her largest one through his lips fully into his mouth.  He needed no further cue and began to gently suck, which he then proceeded to do individually with each of her other toes.  A deep warmth began to course through her entire body, and to her great surprise a strange wetness began to form between her legs.  As he continued to suck, now more urgently, the warmth and wetness grew and she began to squirm.  She didn’t know what was happening.  She had never experienced an orgasm.  Was that what this was?  But wasn’t an orgasm supposed to be a climax, a tumultuous explosion of joy?  As she began now to writhe, all that she felt was an ever growing unquenchable need.  She didn’t know what to do.

          “Dan, please.” she panted.  “I don’t know what’s happening.  I don’t know what to do.  Please ... help me.”

          Dan stopped his adoration and looked up at her.  He understood this as well.

          “I can ... if you let me.”

          A last feeble attempt at defense.

          “Please ... don’t violate me.”

          “Only with my tongue.” he answered.  “May I?”

          She could only nod yes.  Vigorously.

          He slowly kissed his way up her leg.  He did not want to rush.  He wanted her to enjoy the full flavor.  He gently coaxed open her reluctant legs and saw that her panties were already soaked.  He licked up her inner thigh until he nestled and nuzzled his face and lips against the fabric that was covering her trove.

          “Pleeeasse ...” she whispered hoarsely.  He took that as a command.

          He brought his hands up to wrap around the edges of her panties and pulled them down and off to reveal her glistening and glorious womanhood.  Bringing his face forward his tongue darted out to lap at her outer lips and she groaned loudly in greater anticipation.  He worked his tongue forward into her inner recess and with it set about to urgently examine every fold and crevice.  He savored her taste, so different than Maureen’s but no less delectable.  Just when she thought that she could stand no more he finally found her jewel, well hidden ... as she had been ... until now.

          Swirling his tongue around it, soft then hard then soft again, on and on until she arched her back completely off the couch and the dam within, which she had always thought impregnable, burst and her passion poured forth, flooding his face and mouth.  And she came and she came and she came some more, until she could come no more, and she collapsed, thoroughly drained, back onto the couch with Dan’s head resting on her lap.

          As she came back down into herself she ran her fingers lightly through his hair.

          “Dan, that was fabulous.”

          “I’m glad.

          A small smile.  “I think you’ve almost completely cured me of my fear and distrust.”         

          “Almost?”  he asked.   

          She was puzzled that he didn’t even question what she had meant.  She hurried to change the subject.

          “Maureen must have enjoyed that very much.”

          He smiled wistfully as his eyes misted.

          “Yes she did.  Almost as much as bringing me within her.”

          He felt her stiffen once again so he sought to explain.  “She believed that she should use all of me, especially that part which made me a man, that only that could bring her to completion and her ultimate ecstacy.”

          A pause.

          “And did she allow you to come to your own completion?”

          “Sometimes ...”  A grin.  “Often ... But not always.  She thought that I needed reminding now and again that it should always all be about her pleasure.  Not that I ever needed reminding.  But she also felt that granting me my pleasure, only ever as she was approaching her own and never without her verbal permission, greatly pleased her as well.”

          Donna thought that she finally understood.

          “You loved her very, very much.”

          “Beyond all comprehension.”     

          A final barrier.  But was it one she could breach?

          “Do you think that you could ever love someone like that again?” she asked quietly.

          He had never allowed himself to believe that it could happen.  He knew that he could never lie to her.  She would have his total honesty if nothing else.

          “It could never be the same.” he began.  He saw the spark of hope start to fade in her eyes.  “It would be different.” he continued.  “But that doesn’t mean it would be any less intense. Or real.”

           He took a fortifying breath. It would be all or nothing.

           “Donna, I love you with all that I am.  Maureen will always have a special piece of my heart and be a part of my memories, but you are here and now, and if you allow yourself to have me I will be yours totally, in any way that you desire.”

          Donna sat transfixed and numb.  He had shown her respect, had paid her homage, had given her control ... he had called her Beautiful ...... He Had Said That He LOVED Her.  Yes, it would be different.  For both of them. She felt the walls of the last barrier crumble down all around her 

          She looked down at him.

          “Daniel, your Mistress, Maureen, often referred to you as her slave, both as a statement of fact, but far more importantly as an expression of her most loving affection.  That will always be hers and I will never encroach upon it.”

          She drew herself up.

          “But now my aspiring submissive I want you to take off all of your clothes and lie naked on your back on the floor.”       

          Stunned and awestruck, he hastened to obey.  When he had done as she had bid she rose and in his view slowly disrobed.  She then stood astride with a foot on each side of his hips and stared down as she towered above.  Gathering herself once more she lowered herself down until her bottom rested on his belly just in front of his hyper erect manhood.       

          “Daniel,” she finally spoke.  “I am going to have you enter me now and bring ME to completion.”  She paused a moment and then continued.  “And as I approach mine I am going to allow you yours.  But only when I say.  Only ever when I say.  Is that understood?”

          “As you will, Miss Donna.  Always.” he fervently vowed.

          She nodded her approval and lifted herself up to guide him within.

          And had a sharp intake of breath.  His tongue had been sublime, but this ...

          It had happened before.  Far too many times.  But this was so very different.  It had never felt like this before.  It was of a completely different realm and had an entirely different meaning. 

          She began to slowly rock and he followed her lead, would always follow her lead.  As her confidence grew she started to increase the pace and as her urgency built she went ever faster until each thrust, each stroke became more forceful, though never violent, infused with increasing love along with their driving lust.  She kept ever on until it could no longer be contained.  Only one last great want, though not need, was desired.

          “Now Daniel. NOW”

          They erupted cataclysmically together.  Torrents of their combined essences swirled around and within, sweeping them up to an almost unfathomable ecstacy, which continued on until neither of them had any more to take, or to give.  Completely spent and sated she slipped off and down to lie at his side.         

          After a very prolonged haze she finally opened her eyes to find him gazing intently at her.  She sighed.         

          “Dan ... There are no words.”

          “I’m ever at your service Ma’am.” he grinned.        

          With as much solemn gravity as she could muster she answered.  “Yes.  You are ... And will be ... For everything.”  She could then no longer keep from bubbling up from deep inside a smile, a dazzling, radiant smile, such as she had not shown the world in so very long.   And he basked in its glow.

          “And we’re going to do all of this very, very often.” she added exuberantly.  “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

          Just how often she would allow him his own she didn’t yet know.  As often as SHE desired she supposed, and suspected that that would also be very, very often ... But not always. 

          Her smile softened to one of serenity.  Maureen had been so very right.  About all of it.  About all of him.  She reached out to envelop him in an all encompassing embrace.

          “My sweet, sweet servant.  My Daniel ... My Love.”

          The cure was complete.  For both of them.

********

          And somewhere in eternity another entity beamed.  The two people she had loved more than anyone and anything in her previous existence had found themselves.  Together.  The seeds she had so carefully planted had borne exquisite fruit. 

          And her own eternal happiness was now complete.