I discipline Thomas regularly. I find that regular sessions in our female led marriage keep him from becoming lazy or forgetting his chores and responsibilities. If I wait too long between sessions, he tends to slack off a bit or become lazy. It's like maintenance on your car. You have to take your car in for regular maintenance in order to keep it running in top condition. You could always skip maintenance but your car will not perform at its best and overtime a break down will occur. Discipline sessions are what keep your husband serving you at his best and prevent a break down in the relationship from occurring. With regular discipline you should have less need for punishment.
For me, every other week works good. In one of my previous blogs, I indicated that I do weekly sessions and I know many people in FLR's have weekly discipline sessions. However, I came to realize that weekly was a bit too much for me, and I think monthly is too long between sessions so I try to keep to every other week on Sunday nights. I will do a discipline session in between if Tom is slacking off or does something that really irritates me.
What To Wear I want his focus on me during the entire session so I want to look good and also smell good. When he's over my lap, all his senses are at play and put him in submissive mode. In most cases I will do the session after I take a bath so I am clean and smell of the fresh scented bubble bath. I usually wear a short silk nightgown. On occasion, when he has been exceptionally good, as a reward I will put on fetish wear like a corset or latex outfit and heels and stockings. Tom loves this and I consider it a reward for his exceptional obedience. Doing this every now and then motivates him to do good.
For him, he is to wear panties. I have three pairs of panties reserved for discipline and punishment. I keep them in my sock drawer (separate from his other panties that he keeps with his underwear). On the day of a discipline session, I will lay out which pair I want him to wear. The pair I choose depends on my mood and how good or bad he has been. One pair is a soft black mesh panty that are see-thru. They have pink ribbon and bow accents. I like these because they are sexy and feminine and his privates are on full display. The second pair is a pink silk thong. These are nice because they do not need to be pulled down to spank him since his ass cheeks are exposed. Also, the thong up his ass while he wears them is a constant reminder that a discipline session is coming. I usually allow him to wear these under his boxers or another pair of panties so they don't show through his pants. However, if I am in a teasing mood or if he has been not performing at his best, I will not allow this. The last pair is used mostly for punishment. They are red lace panties that are purposely small for him. These are extra snug and uncomfortable for him to wear, which is the point. He complained that they kept riding down on him and he had to constantly adjust them during the day. He was hoping for a new pair but I told him too bad. That's all part of the punishment.
I think it is important to have a physical item, like panties, as part of the discipline routine. When he slips these on, he associates them with discipline and his mind shifts into submissive mode. It is also effective for the non-routine discipline. Imagine what will go through your husband's mind when he sees his discipline/punishment panties laid out to wear on a non-discipline day. I'm sure he will figure out the reason he is being disciplined. Just when he thought he got away with something, he is caught! You do not have to use panties (that's just what I prefer). You could use a collar, wrist cuffs, cock ring, male G-string, or special pair of men's underwear.
How the session begins
I have a routine with my sessions. It's almost like a ritual. For each session he is to strip down to his panties. He will then retrieve my riding crop and place it on the bed. He will then move the discipline chair out of the corner of the room and kneel to the side of it and wait for me. It is always done in this order and usually this is done while I am in the bath. When I am ready I will sit in the chair or command him to get into a certain position. If he is not wearing the thong, I will pull his panties down to his mid thighs or just above his knees. I get satisfaction with doing this and I think having me pull down the panties adds to his submissive feeling.
His Position for discipline
Not long ago I decided to purchase a chair to use for the discipline session. I like the idea of having a permanent fixture in our bedroom that is used for discipline. It is symbolic of our Female Led Relationship. The chair is a nice upholstered chair the blends in with the décor of the room. It is comfortable for me to sit in and has no arms so Thomas can easily lay across my lap. To an outsider, it is just part of the room. However, Thomas and I know its special purpose. I had Thomas come with me to pick out the chair, which was fun. It was quite a unique shopping experience, knowing what the purpose of the chair would be.
Most times I am sitting in the chair with Thomas laying across my lap. Other positions I use are having him stand and bend over the chair with his hands holding the back of the chair or having him kneel on the chair and hugging the back of the chair. The last two positions are especially effective when the tone of the session is improvement or correction. It is easier for harder spanking and you have more mobility to move around. Sometimes I will do the session on the bed where I am sitting with my legs stretched out and he lays across my lap or I am standing and he lays on his stomach with pillows beneath him to push up his ass.
The discipline
I focus on three things in the session: 1. Attitude, 2. How well he did his chores and normal expectation, and 3. How well he handled non-routine items. For attitude I am reviewing his attitude towards me, attitude towards the kids, and attitude towards other. For chores and expectations I take into consideration whether or not he performed all his chores and routine expectations, were they completed timely, and did they meet my expectations. For non-routine items, I am reviewing how he handled himself with unexpected or random situations. He obeys me and I am in charge of him but that does not mean I have to tell him how to handle everything. He should anticipate what I want and do the right thing. For example, if the kids brought in a football and left it on the living room floor for a few days, then he would be corrected for that. He should have noticed the football and told the kids to put it away.
For every session he is spanked a minimum of 6 times. It may be more than 6 but it will never be less. He knows this. The intensity of each spank will vary depending on how good or bad his behavior was for the item I am speaking about. For good behavior, I will give a light playful spank with the riding crop and will usually reward him by rubbing it over his ass, thighs, and between his legs. For things to improve on, he will be given a moderate spank and for disobedience or items that I am displeased with, he will receive a hard stinging spank (sometimes more than one). I start off with good to moderate things and progress toward the moderate to disobedient items so that the spanks get progressively harder.
I start off with a general statement of how his behavior has been, which sets the tone for the discipline session.. It would be something like, 'Slave, you have been very good and I am pleased with how you are serving or obeying me' or Slave, you have done good serving and obeying me but there are things to improve on' or 'Slave, I am not pleased with your behavior.' The statement is followed by the first slap of the riding crop. The intensity of the slap depends on how good or bad Tom's behavior has been. I purposely refer to him as slave and I try to emphasize his obedience and how it is pleasing or not pleasing me. These little details help elevate my authority over him and push him deeper into submission.
The next two or three spanks relate to the three major areas I focus on, which are mentioned at the beginning of this section. It will be something like, 'your attitude has been very good,' (slap with some rubbing), 'You did an o.k. job with your chores, but we need to review a few things' ( harder slap), and 'my car oil light has been on for several days, you need to take care of that' (slap). The remaining three or four spanks can be used to expand on the general statements. I will talk about what he needs to improve on for chores, or specific items that I am displeased with, or maybe things that I am happy with.
This part of the session varies depending on my mood and how good or bad his behavior is. There will be spanking and rubbing as I talk through the different things. As noted above, I may spank him more than 6 times. I don't necessarily make all the general statements first and then go into details. For example, I will make a general statement about his attitude and then discuss the details about it before moving onto his chores. However, if there is not much to talk about then I will just make the general attitude statement and move right onto chores. If he had a bad week, I may jump right to all the things that require correction and punishment and not even talk about the other items. If he really pissed me off, then he might get 6 or more hard spanks for the one item that pissed me off and then we are done. If he has been exceptionally good, then it's all playful spanks and rubbing. I may reserve the last few spanks for new future expectations and make the spanks a little harder to emphasize the importance of his obedience. If he is in a position where I can reach his cock, sometimes I will hold it or his balls while I talk and spank, squeezing it at certain times to emphasize key points.
When I am done with the spanking, I will recap things that he has to improve on and make him repeat it. I will issue punishments if needed. Punishments can also be given during the session when the infraction is being discussed. and I may also spend a few minutes talking about expectations or new rules or chores for the upcoming week. I have his undivided attention so it is a good time for this. I usually end up adding a few more spanks while I talk about these things (oops!)
Ending the session
When we are finished he stands up and I will pull up his panties Again, I think by me doing this it mentally elevates my authority over him adds to his submissive state. Then he will kneel and kiss my feet and thank me for disciplining me. He will also tell me that he will continue to serve me as best he can and will improve (if applicable) on his performance. He will do this every session, even if he is harshly disciplined. It is important to leave the session on a positive note. He will remain kneeling until I dismiss him or give further direction.
Usually after the session I will either have him pamper me with a massage or pleasure me orally or both. When I am sitting and he is kneeling before me it is just so easy to spread open my legs and push his head between them-I love that! I make it a rule not to touch him after a discipline session. The focus is all on me. When I am done with him he will put away the riding crop and the discipline chair. Then there is the matter of his panties. If he is being punished, well then he is wearing discipline panties until the punishment is over. If he just needs to improve on things, I may instruct him to wear the panties to bed as reminder in the morning of his needed improvement. He will then have to hand wash the panties in the morning. He normally sleeps naked so I know that when he wakes up and feels the snug panties, he will remember everything about the night before. I also know that the feel of the panties through the night will keep him horny (smiles). If I want him to sleep naked, then he must hand wash the panties before coming to bed. As noted previously in the this blog, you can use things other than panties such as a cock ring or collar.
Ad hoc Sessions
On occasion I will do a discipline session outside of the normally scheduled time. Sometimes I just feel the need to do it but usually it is because he did something bad that I want to address immediately. If he talks back to me or blatantly disobeys me, I may immediately send him up to the room to be disciplined. If it is something that he forgot to do which really inconvenienced me, then I may wait a day or two later and then in the morning lay out the discipline panties for him to wear and follow it up with a session that night. He usually knows why he is going to be disciplined and will apologize when he sees the panties. His apology is accepted but I remind him that what is done, is done and he still needs to pay the consequences. These sessions are always followed by a punishment. At his next regular discipline session, he will also receive at least one hard spank for the infraction.
The ad hoc sessions are quick and to the point. I will send him to the bedroom and he will get ready for discipline. I walk in fully clothed and get him into position and start spanking. It will go something like this: "Slave, don't ever talk back to me like that," (slap! slap! slap!). "I deserve more respect than that and am very displeased by you," (slap! slap! slap!). "For your disobedience and disrespect you will get three more spanks and you will apologize after each one." (slap! 'Sorry Mistress', Slap! 'Sorry Mistress', Slap! 'sorry mistress'). 'For the rest of the week you will come home immediately after work and do chores or tasks for me. You are not permitted to do any other activities this week, got it?' (Slap!). 'Yes Mistress.' 'Good' (Slap!). 'We are done.' He kneels down and kisses my feet and thanks me and promises to do better.
Closing Remarks
I provided a very detailed accounting of my typical discipline session. I wanted to include all the details because I think the little details from the words I use, to the position his is in, to the ritualistic items, add to the overall experience which elevates my authority over him and pushes him into deeper submission and obedience. You should do your discipline sessions in a way that works best for you and in which you feel comfortable. Otherwise you will not stick with them. However, I encourage you to experiment with different approaches and techniques. Try something outside your comfort zone every now and then. Test different levels of strictness in your discipline. You might be surprised at the results or how much you like it. When you are starting out in female domination or FLR it's much like Alice in Wonderland. Things are not always as they seem. Intuition is not always right.
The routine and repetition over time truly does changes behavior and attitude and fortifies the Female Led Relationship. If you stick with a routine similar to what I described, I am sure that after just a few months not only will he be more obedient towards you but it will positively affect the dynamic of your relationship. You will feel a more confident and natural authority over him and he will feel a natural submission towards you with a strong desire to obey and please you, which ultimately leads to a more fulfilling relationship for both of you.
What I described may seem like a lot, but it really is simple. Our sessions flow very smoothly. They are routine and ritualistic but not rigid. Often times we end up in a discussion during the sessions. Be sure to set high expectations and be firm when your expectations are not met. We are Goddesses and deserve the best.
-Mz Kaylee
Oh my goodness, Mz Kaylee this was absolutely incredible. Your straightforward approach and writing style makes it so easy for anyone to understand the benefits of, and the How To's of a Wife Led Marriage. I have taken a copy of the link for you blog and have sent it my own Mistress Wife, Mistress K., and have strongly urged (almost begged) her to read it from beginning to end. I do this for her whenever I come across someone like you. My Mistress Wife has no desire to wide through the porn-inspired crap that permeates the internet and would rather wade in an entertaining and intellectual pool of information like this.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and thank you so much for your blog. Your husband Thomas is a very lucky man to have you leading your marriage.
Just read this. So helpful. The way you talk to him through this is very helpful lead for me. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAnother great post on discipline. Like you I find discipline to be a very important aspect of our relationship. In an earlier comment under orgasm control (my first), I posted that orgasm control is the most important tool in my toolkit for maintaining our FLR marriage. Well second to that tool, in my opinion, is routine discipline and punishment. Over the course of our 4 year FLR marriage - there were 8 years prior to that which were just of the vanilla flavor :) I have slowly learned through a trial and error process that my husband craves strict structure and discipline from me. Similar to rationing and controlling his orgasms, this initially was a very foreign and unnatural concept for me. I was your typical nurturing, touchy feely wife, but my take on that has drastically changed over time. Below outlines our weekly process for maintaining discipline in our FLR relationship.
ReplyDeleteAfter about 2 years into our FLR relationship, we had fully incorporating spanking and weekly discipline sessions into our marriage as a means of further controlling and nurturing his devotion to me. With orgasm control I took control of his cock and the frequency of orgasms which firmly put me in the drivers seat of controlling his behaviour towards me. Spanking and discipline has further provided me with a means of fine tuning the steering his behaviour that orgasm control originally provided me. So orgasm control allows me to put him on a general direction and course of expected behaviour. Weekly discipline sessions provide me with a means of fine tuning that general steering to navigate all of the obstacles that come up dynamically in our relationship. Without orgasm control as a starting point, his reception and ability to take weekly discipline would not be there. If he wants to eventually be rewarded with an orgasm, he must accept my sustained guidance and corrective feedback, its that simple.
We now have weekly discipline/assessment sessions which take place on a Sunday night. It was important for me to pick and set a specific night for this just so it didn't get lost in the shuffle of hectic normal married life. Just like anything else in life, FLR requires some level of attention and maintenance to keep it working smoothly. I do my utmost best to stick to this specific night. Its not always possible, but I do my best to make it work. Consistency is very important to maintaining my husband properly. It helps him out greatly to have somewhat of a set schedule and uniform daily expectations. The weekly session is a tool at my disposal to add or subtract expectations from him in a manner which is consistent and well articulated. No surprises for him this way. Sunday afternoon after he has completed all of his assigned household chores, we begin our weekly discipline and assessment ritual.
I have him strip out of his clothing so that he is completely naked for me.
ReplyDeleteI have him present me with his locked penis by having him place in into my out stretched hands. I then unlock his device and take it off of him.
I then place the device into his hands, I then have him turn around and give him a firm spank to his butt and send him off into the bathroom.
The door is left open and I set a chair for myself outside the open bathroom door. I sit down with a nice cup of tea and monitor his activities. This serves a few purposes. It ensures that he doesn't take the opportunity to sneak a quick unauthorized orgasm, but perhaps more importantly it is very humiliating for him to have me to watch the rest of his required rituals.
He begins by filling the sink with soap and water and then scrubbing his chastity device completely clean for me with a stiff toothbrush. He then places it on a hand towel to drip dry while he continues....
In the bathroom, he is expected to freshly shave/groom his entire body. Asides from the normal facial shaving that most men do, my husband also closely trims his chest hair as well as his arms and legs with a body groomer electric shaver. Not shaven completely down, but close so that all of the hairs are all kept short and uniform in length.
He is then required to completely shave his underarms clean with a regular razor.
Then the entire area below his navel and down to his mid thighs, both front and back are also to be shaved baby smooth clean for me with the razor. He is only allowed out of his device during the week for this weekly shaving activity, so its important for him to get his cock and balls as smooth as possible especially in those areas which are covered by the device. This is so he doesn't itch as much during the week. He can continue to trim up as best he can during the week in this area during his normal morning shaving sessions where he remains locked up. But he only has full access during these weekly sessions, so attention to detail is in his best interests here :)
He alternately places one leg up high on the pedestal sink as he stands and shaves each cheek of his butt nice and clean for me. Very humiliating for him to do that. When he is done, his entire butt hole is hair free as well.
With his shaving now complete he takes a hot shower for me and get himself nice an clean. We have a clear shower curtain on the shower and I expect him to insert a a couple of fingers into his bottom to get that area nice and clean for me as well :) Did I mention humiliating?
When he steps out of the shower and drys off, he then comes over to me in my chair so I can inspect his work. I check him over closely for attention to detail with his shaving. I also inspect his entire package for any signs of abrasion or any other signs of ill health. If he requires touch up, he touches up for me.
He then hands me his cleaned device and I lock it back on him.
I then hand him a pair of panties which I have selected for his wear for the rest of the evening. I try to pick pairs for him which are very tight, feminine and silky. He puts those on for me and models himself briefly for me by doing a slow spin around in front of my chair.
Next I have him draw me a nice warm bubble bath. When the bath is full he is expected to remove my clothing and to help me get into the tub.
ReplyDeleteHe then lights some candles for me and closes the door while I take a leisurely bath.
While I am bathing, he is expected to get the massage table all set up for me in the bedroom. He puts on a nice clean sheet over it and gets it all heated up for me and the oils ready. He then waits for me to get out of the bath. While waiting he is expected to go into the corner of the bedroom, put his nose into the corner and to wait for my arrival.
When I am done with my tub, I go to the bedroom and place myself on the massage table. My husband then proceeds to give me a very long and sensual full body massage. While he massages I can clearly see his cock straining magnificently against his cage in his satin panties. He unusually begins to leak pre-cum pretty steadily as he massages me and I can see the staining spread across his satin panties. I make sure to let him know how pretty he looks and how excited he must feel to be wearing them for me.
While he massages me, I slowly go over the weeks events - which has just now concluded. We go over all of his tasks and chores and how well he has executed them or not. We go over the details of how he has shown devotion to me over the week. Has he done a good enough job? Where can he improve? etc etc.
If there are any changes to my weekly expectations for him, I bring those up during this session. This way he always knows exactly what I expect from him.
I then also make a point of ticking through and tallying up all of his deficiencies for the week as the massage concludes.
I then remove myself from the massage table and sit myself down on the edge of our bed.
I instruct him to get the hairbrush out of the night-stand and hand that to me.
I tap the brush across my naked lap and thats his signal to drape himself tummy down across my lap.
I pull down his panties to his ankles and clamp his device firmly between my thighs and administer a firm, but not overly severe, sustained SLOW spanking. The length of the spanking is somewhat proportional to his list of deficiencies for the week. As I slowly paddle him, we tick back through all of the areas he could have and should have done better in during the week. When we are done, his bottom is always quite red and hot. Regardless of how well his behaviour has or has not been during the week, he always is guaranteed to get a sound spanking each week. He just gets extra added on for everything he is been proven to be wanting in. While he receives his spanking as we tick through his deficiencies, we also take momentary pauses as he tells me specifically how he will go about doing better with his tasks the following week. When all is said and done his spanking typically lasts about 20 to 30 minutes.
I then massage some cold hand lotion into his heated butt to help take the heat off.
I then pull his panties back up and have him stand up. When we begin the spankings his cock is usually straining quite hard in his cage, pulling the cage well away from his belly, and the tip of his cock flesh is straining out between the bars of his metal cage. When we are done its always nice and turtled up inside his cage :). I always know that the spanking was effective when I see that.
ReplyDeleteI then spread myself down and open legged on the bed and he is expected to show his thankfulness and adoration by tending to my pussy with his mouth. This is something which he craves and loves to do for me. Its become almost his own substitute for receiving his own orgasm. His orgasms are now mostly mine, and the way he goes about his task proves it to me every single time.So it is also a very nice reward for him and nice incentive to do better in the following week. He usually is able to bring me to at least two orgasms following our sessions. I am usually extremely moist after I am done delivering his spankings to there is pleasure while I deliver his pain.
The entire ritual is just a nice way of coming completely clean with me for his behaviour and attitude. We go over everything he has done well and not so well. He atones for any mistakes. I reset his submission deep down and get him all set mentally for another week of divine devotion to me.
Angelina
This is fantastic. Rituals are a great way to stay connected as a couple, reinforce your authority over him, reniforce his submissiion to you, and as you said, rest and get mentally prepared each week (works for both the wife and husband). At first riutals may seem silly but with repitition, a riutal becomes meaningful and effective in keeping a strong FLR relationship. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteI from the netherlands
ReplyDeleteI Am men en last hour punishment my woman my.
First naked spanking and morning evening for 3 tree
evening early bedtime punishments on 18 clock.
My wife delivers a fearful spanking when I am punished. It really is painful. The cane is the worst but the leather belt is nearly as bad. Usually 50 - 150 strokes and I am tied face down on the bed to stop me jerking and twisting under the agony and blindfolded to stop me flinching.
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful that she is willing to suspend her kinder self to give the correction needed. It shows she really cares.
My wife learned from her Mother that husbands at times can be naughty little boys and the wife needs to be The Mommy in those times. My wife spanks with a large bath brush. She enjoys bearing my bottom, or watching as I take off my clothes, this happens when I'm very bad. The worse spanking, todate, was taken to the bedroom, my mother-in-law was visiting, told to undress, and my wife picked up the bath brush, and then took my pajamas from the dresser, naked, saying nothing, I was taken back to the front room. My mother-in-law had a chair in the middle of the room, took the bath brush from my wife, over her lap I went. Boy did she give me a sound spanking, a total mess afterwards, and then told to face the wall. After an half hour was told to put on my pajamas. My mother-in-law said now the punishment is complete, he is a very naughty little boy and looks like such in his jammies. My wife then said he will be going to bed early, be given a bath in the morning.
ReplyDeleteWe are a little bore vanilla with little kink so tospeak, But she does rule the home and as breadwiner uses corrective measured when needed if I fall short. While I always hate it in the moment I always accept and afterwards understand her need to maintain order in the home.
ReplyDeleteA friend of my Wife was training her husband but when She eased up on discipline he always backslid..when She started daily discipline the training took. Now he’s as totally trained as I am...slave billy
ReplyDeleteAm I to assume that a true fem Dom marriage/relationship would not be possible without a cock cage on the male and spankings utilized for discipline?
ReplyDeleteThat's not correct. They are just popular tools used in many WLMs.
Delete@ Mz Kaylee ... thumbs up!
DeleteHello Mz Kaylee. I have translated this post into spanish in my blg. I hope you like it. I have learned very much reading it. I thing it`s very interesting.
ReplyDeleteDiscipline in my marriage is not punishment. Initially my wife was not comfortable with inflicting physical pain and secondly she felt that punishment was associated with me behaving like a child. We both liked the idea of me being submissive and obedient and not arguing with her and her being in authority but neither of us were looking for a parent - child relationship. She wanted me to be strong and competent and so on. For example she chooses when I get to orgasm but it is not just because I have been good or done my chores well. I have to do all that but whether I get to orgasm is a decision she makes for her own reasons. It's not cause and effect.
ReplyDeleteBack to physical discipline and in my case it serves to emphasize power and authority on her part and makes me feel submissive. In a way it is something she does for me. Over time she has become more willing to take some enjoyment from whipping me but again it is more about emphasizing her authority position than her being a sadist.
Onto the detail. Firstly I am not allowed to ask. She does not want to be distracted from whatever is important to her. Nor am I allowed to resist or ask for it to be delayed. The most warning I will get is she will tell me to organize the kids to have a sleepover. But that in it's self does not mean that physical discipline will occur. When she says to prepare for discipline, my job is to get the implements and lay them out in the dresser in the spare room. I also get the ropes and tie them to the bed. I remove the sheets and blankets from the bed in the spare room and place a cushion under the plastic mattress protector. The plastic is there in case I wet myself from the pain. Then I lie spread eagle with the lump positioning my bum in the air. She comes in and ties my wrists and angles and puts a ball gag in my mouth. She does not like to hear me scream, but the gag lets me loose control and scream into it.
There is no warm up. She will usually only use one implement. A belt or a cane or a crop and lay it on as hard as she can. It is insanely painful and my emotional thought range from asking myself how stupid am I to allow this to admiration of her to simply trying to survive the pain. We have agreed that she will not ask me if I have had enough as this is too hard for me. It puts the decision in my hands and we both want these decisions in her hands. Sometimes she will aim some strokes into the tender skin right between my legs. The most painful is the doubles over piece of electrical wire as she can make it whip around one leg and between my legs and the repeat from the other side. I try to stay still but I am so glad I am tied down otherwise I would run away and not go through with it. When it is over I still lie there for a while tied up until I am calm. Eventually she unties me. I tidy everything up. I thank her and tell her how I love and admire her. Usually it is hard to walk and I feel really tired and go to bed. Thought range through how stupid am I to being amazed that I have done this. It takes about two to three weeks for the bruising to go away. This means that I only receive this discipline in the colder months because the bruising extended down the backs of my legs even lower than where she whipped me and so I cant really go to the beach or others who do not understand would see the bruising. Usually after only a couple of weeks I start to think again about the whole situation and getting aroused by it.