The Thrill of Orgasm Denial

"You are a pro a teasing. You've gotten too good at it." Those were the words that Thomas said to me last week, the day after an intense teasing and denial session. He was right of course. I have mastered the art of  teasing and denying him orgasm. Thomas has told me that he no longer can predict when I will allow him an orgasm.  In the early years of our WLM, he never knew for certain when I would allow an orgasm but he could often predict when I would cave in and allow it (at least that is what he told me).

That was then. Now I'm sterner and have no qualms about denying him orgasm for months at a time, even if he is begging for an orgasm. I have learned that he gets excited and more aroused when I tell him 'no." I know now that one of his greatest thrills is giving me an orgasm while he is denied. For him, the mind fuck of being denied is often better then the pleasure of an orgasm. As I began to understand that dynamic, I started enjoying the power of denial.  I absolutely love using him for my orgasm and then immediately tossing him aside and giving him no more attention. I get a thrill out of it but my thrill is driven by the knowledge that he is even more excited and aroused from it.

When I am teasing his cock and he begs for orgasm, I have fun telling him no. It is exciting for me to watch the surge of arousal to his brain when he hears that word. His body tenses, his toes curl, and his breath is taken away as he holds back the orgasm that is trying to push out his cock. I delight in the knowledge that he is denying himself the pleasure, that his body wants so bad, all because of me; because of my power over him. What started out as a strange concept to me has turned into something that I truly enjoy and something that heats up my arousal.

The beauty of orgasm denial is it's lasting effects on the guy.  You see, I get an orgasm but he does not. Once I have my orgasm I am relaxed and calm.  He, on the other hand, is brimming with arousal. It takes him a long time to calm down. It is torture for him to lay next to me but not be allowed to touch me. If I am feeling a little cruel, I will wait for him to calm down and then tease him a bit more and get him going again. Such fun!  He always wakes up the next morning with an erection.  We had a teasing session last night and he told me that he woke up several times through the night, fully aroused.  When he wakes up like that, he replays the evening events in his mind and his mind races with fantasies of me dominating and controlling him even more. This arouses him more.  My teasing continues even while I sleep! I love it!

-Mz Kaylee

Shifting the Submissive Male's Focus

I was pleased to see all the comments in the last post. I am very intrigued by the "Parking" concept and it seems like many women employ this technique in some way. If you have experience with being put away or caged, I would love to hear about it. Please share your experience in the comments section of the last post titled "Parking Your Husband."  On a different note....below are some thoughts around shifting submissive men from being self-gratifying to serving their wife or partner.  Enjoy!

Most, if not all guys are driven into the female dominate world through their desires and fantasies to be sexually dominated by a female. It’s probably somewhere along the lines of the usual  pornography of a dominatrix or a woman spanking, abusing, and tying up men. Guys penises react very well to that type of imagery and so masses of men find themselves transfixed to their computer or phone screen week after week seeking sexual gratification.  Those of us who are in the lifestyle understand that the female dominance is much broader than sex.  When you fully embrace female dominance as a whole lifestyle and integrate it into your marriage or relationship, it is a life changer and becomes purposeful, fulfilling, and exciting for the couple.

In the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) or Female Led Relationship (FLR), it is about the female accepting complete authority and control over the male and the male willfully yielding to the female and accepting his place beneath her in the relationship. Most men start out in femdom with the sole purpose of pleasing themselves. The problem with this attitude is that the pleasure is short-lived and it is not an approach that is conducive to developing a meaningful relationship. No woman is going to want to be in a long-term relationship where all she is doing is dominating the guy just because that is what he wants. For some reason, guys tend to think that their wife will “get off” on dominating them just as much as they (men) “get off” on being dominated. For some women, this is true but for many women it is not true, especially if it is on his terms.  For example, putting Thomas in panties is not very arousing to me but it is a huge turn-on for him. For the WLM/FLR to succeed, there has to be something in it for the woman.

Deep fulfillment and pleasure comes when the male learns to shift his focus from himself to pleasing the woman. The submissive male derives pleasure from serving and pleasing the female.  Interesting enough, I think many submissive guys do not understand that about themselves because their sexual pleasure gets in the way and becomes their sole focus. Their short-term pleasure blinds them to what can bring them happiness. It is often up to women to guide and train men to change their attitude to be focused on pleasing and serving women.

When a man yields completely to a woman, gives her full authority over him, and focuses his life on doing his best to please and obey her, he will experience true submission. The pleasure and satisfaction that comes with submission is far greater than the quick fix of being spanked, abused, etc. Not only is this rewarding for the guy, it also engages and encourages the woman to dominate the guy. The domination becomes more purposeful and exciting for her.

I want to be clear that I am not discounting the importance of the man’s desire and need to be sexually dominated. Sexual dominance is a key motivator for the male and it is critical that women tap into this desire in order to keep the male motivated and focused on serving and pleasing her. What I am advocating is that for a WLM/FLR to be successful and for the male to find true fulfillment in the relationship, he must shift his focus away from purely seeking sexual gratification to a focus of serving and pleasing his partner.

Thoughts?

-Mz Kaylee