Thank you all who commented on my last blog. I am happy to see people sharing their thoughts and experiences. This post is in response to the comments. Many of you commented on how you have daily rituals. Rituals are a wonderful part of a FLR and rituals help keep the sub in a submissive and obedient state of mind. I particularly like the following statement from an anonymous commenter in regards to a ritual of kissing her feet:
"she told me that at first this made her uncomfortable, then she thought it was "sweet," then she came to expect it!"
A very insightful statement and it probably rings true for many people who are just starting with FLR. Rituals and other actions related to a FLR will probably feel uncomfortable or even silly when you try them for the first time. Sometimes just the idea seems silly. However, this should not stop you from trying them. In the heat of the moment, silly things can become very hot! Rituals may seem uncomfortable or silly to both the Female and male at first. But each time the ritual is performed, it becomes less silly and more meaningful. As the comment above implies, eventually it becomes a meaningful part of what you do. Through repetition the ritual can have a long term effect the submissive's mind, attitude, and behavior. The fact that several of you commented on rituals on my post about 'Psycological aspects of FLR' further support this statement.
I find that rituals are even more impactful when you connect specific thoughts or symbolism to the ritual. For example, when Thomas kisses any part of my body, he knows it is a form of worship and obedience. He knows this because I trained him over and over again that he is worshipping me when he kisses my feet, my legs, etc. Early in his training, I had him say I worship and obey you every time he kissed my body. Now it is ingrained in his head that he is worshipping and obeying whenever he kisses my body. If I command him to worship my feet, he will instantly kiss them.
For any couple starting out in FLR, I highly recommend some type of daily or regular worship ritual where the sub kneels before his dominant partner, kisses her feet, and recites a mantra such as "I worship and obey you. Thank your for being a wonderful Goddess to me. Please teach and mold me to be your perfect servant." This ritual will help the submissive mentally transition into a true submissive role in the relationship. When starting out in a FLR, it often feels more like fantasy than reality. Both the submissive and the dominant may just be going through the motions to satisfy each other or a desire within. On the surface the FLR is in place, but when you dig deeper the submissive still has some sense of control. The worship ritual will mentally change his thinking and add reality to his submissiveness towards you.
As discussed above, the first time the ritual is performed it might be uncomfortable for both of you. You may even laugh and that is fine. FLR is not all serous. Laughter is good. However, as the ritual is performed over and over again, the words sink in and take a deeper meaning for the submissive. Through repetition he begins to truly worship you and want to obey you. You become a Goddess to him and he is open to be trained by you. The ritual brings reality to his submission and increases the dominants control over him.
Rituals have other purposes as well. A nice benefit of rituals is once a ritual is established, the submissive knows exactly what to do. The Dominant partner does not have to worry about giving commands (unless they are part of the ritual) or telling the submissive what to do. We have a bath ritual that I just love. With the kids being older it does not happen often, but when it does, Thomas knows exactly what to do and I can just relax and be pampered. I just have to whisper to him, "get my bath ready." He immediately goes into action, lighting candles, running my bath water and adding bubble bath. He brings an extra fluffy towel and my robe into the bathroom. He knows I like my bath water on the hot side. He knows to shut the bathroom door so the room is warm and smells of the bubble bath scent when I walk in. When I enter, he is always naked and kneeling by the tub. I enter the bath and lay back and relax. He is to remain quiet and worship my body with his eyes while I relax. He knows that but sometimes I command him to worship my body just for the purpose of reinforcing my dominance over him. When I am ready, I order him to wash me. Sometimes he will also shave my legs. When the bath is over, I will stand outside the tub and he will dry me off. I do not move. I enjoy seeing him move all around me and bending down to dry me off. He knows he has to do a great job at drying me before putting on my robe. It is a great ritual that makes me feel like a true Goddess and also makes Thomas feel like a true servant to me. We both enjoy this ritual and every time we do the bath ritual it reinforces my dominance over him and his submission to me.
I encourage you to incorporate rituals into your lifestyle. They can be daily, weekly, monthly or just done on command. Connecting purposeful thoughts and symbolism to the ritual makes it more impactful and can mentally mold the submissive's long-term thoughts and perceptions in a positive way. Please feel free to comment on rituals that you do and whether or not they have affected your thinking or brought more meaning to your FLR.
Mz Kaylee.
I love your thoughts on this Mz Kaylee. Rituals help frame a husband's thinking properly. You are correct, we men often feel like we retain some control even though we live in an FLR. Rituals help to abolish that incorrect attitude.
ReplyDeleteMy wife has some rituals that she uses on occasion, primarily kissing her feet. Sometimes writing lines about her authority hundreds of times so the concept sinks in. These help shape my thinking into a proper submissive mindset.
I also use many of your comments to direct my thoughts. You have a well-developed sense that the husband's place is to submit to his wife completely. He should strive to please her, make her life easier, and obey her promptly and thoroughly. Your posts bring this home and assist me in letting go of my desire for some control and in keeping my focus on my worshiping my wife.
Thank you,
slave j
slave j, it is fantastic that your wife incorporates rituals into your daily life. Kissing her feet is a sign of obedience, respect, and submission so I encourage it often. While there are many times Thomas is expected to kiss my feet, occasionally he will take it upon himself to lean down his kiss my feet. This always makes me smile. Thank you for also sharing about your writing ritual. Repetition is very effective. You are on the right path! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteMz Kaylee - thank you for great insights into the nature of femdom relationships. I absolutely agree with you about the importance of rituals that are repeated and become embedded in the relationship. When my wife wishes to add another chore or duty to my growing list, she will usually have me write out the chore a hundred times over the course of several days - "As Mistress K's slave, I will dust and vacuum the entire house every weekend." Writing this one line over and over again, helps me embrace this chore not only a task that i now own, but also a task that I want to do as my Mistress Wife's slave husband.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes of course, kneeling before my wife daily and kissing her feet is a ritual that I look forward to every day.
thank you for your blog
StL sub
"Early in his training, I had him say I worship and obey you every time he kissed my body."
ReplyDeleteIn the early stages, the sub often has to overcome a tendency to top from the bottom. (I was no exception.) Incorporating obedience into ritual helps the husband set aside his fantasies to focus on service and obedience as his wife wants them. I can't overstate the importance of this.
We have a bath ritual, too!
Mz Kaylee, you asked for possible topics in another post. You brought up a great one here: The importance of having fun in a femdom relationship.
ReplyDeleteAnother good topic is the result of rituals (and discipline, chastity, etc) regarding what is expected of the husband/boyfriend (submissive/slave). How much control should the man give up? What level of obedience is required?
ReplyDeleteThanks Mz Kaylee. Its a pleasure to find your blog and to read your views on FLR. Many of what you say strikes a strong cord with me. I am a males submissive and have gradually introduced my wife to this lifestyle. While we have a long ways to go to get to the same level of 3Rs that you live, and we may never get there for reasons of individual preferences, we feel that having FLR has strengthened our relationship and intimacy. It made our bond much stronger, and we argue less.
ReplyDeleteTo add to the discussion, here are some of the norms and rituals that we do:
1) We strive for frequent orgasms for my wife whenever she wants with me giving her head. I am usually denied. In fact, she also no longer performs oral sex on me. Earlier in our relationship, it was an equal sexual relationship with intercourse and reciprocated oral sex. Now my release, when allowed, comes from masturbation while either sucking her toes or performing oral sex. This has been going on for about a year and half although the start of tipping the balance towards her getting noticeable more orgasms started several years ago, followed by no intercourse about 3 yrs ago, to prolonged orgasm denials for me shortly after.
2) I always lick her asshole after she orgasms from me giving her head. This is a ritual. She roles over on her tummy and I proceed by burying my face in her ass. We dont need to communicate at all in between the acts. She likes a gentle ass rimming afterwards as it provides a relaxing complement to her explosive orgasm. I also like, as you mentioned in one of your blogs, to be told that I am a good ass licker. This has been an ongoing ritual for several years.
3) A recent ritual for us, started about 2 months ago, is that I rim her ass every morning before she gets up from bed. In fact, thats how I wake her up in the morning. I usually wake up before she does. When I think it is time for her to get up, I gently rub her ass, and she turns to her stomach, and I start to rim. I continue to rim until she pats my head. This can be five minutes to 25 minutes, depends on how long she wants me to lick. When I finish, I thank her for giving me the privilege to clean her ass. We have literally done this every day for the past 2 months except when we were not together due to travel or on a recent family trip with the kids.
4) I am her footslave. In addition to worshiping and massaging her feet, I also take care of her shoes, making sure they are clean and organize them for her. I also lotion her feet periodically as part of my responsibility to care for them.
I enjoy being submissive to my wife. There is something about sacrificing my needs, and to go out of my way to intensify the sacrifice in the form of degradation and humiliation, so that I can provide her sexual pleasure and mental pleasure, is intoxicating to me. My wife, I dont think, was wired to be dominant. But through the years she has become accustomed to the benefits of having a slave, and she has also evolved to derive mental pleasure from me being servile, devoted to her, and to have control over me. That is the ultimate turn-on -- to know that my owner expects and is pleased by my submission.
It sounds to me like you are well under way into a FLR and you have found your proper place in the marriage. FLR is most definitely a progression and there is no end point and no one right way to do things. Every couple is different and the FLR should be shaped according to their needs. You seem very well grounded in these concepts and so you are on the right path. I love the rituals you have described and it is good to hear that you know your duties and take action without being told. All too often, submissive men expect the Female to tell them everything to do. That is not what we are here for. Thank you for your well thought out response.
Deletei can see were the rituals not only help a submissive partner move to a proper mindset ,but also would be helpful to the dominant to help with their mindset also. puppyboy 56
ReplyDeleteRespected Goddess,
ReplyDeleteits shanzay khan from pakistan and perfect slave to every girl on earth. as name suggests i am muslim. but femdom is my fetish since my childhood, but i freely practiced it after my marriage. i love rituals from ass worship to Golden Shower. and my Goddess(my wife) also enjoy all these rituals. then i love the religious worship rituals. she sits like a Goddess and i bow in front of her and then in prostration and complete my prayer to her by considering her as my real God. this really gives me soul satisfaction and i keep myself in prostration for next one hour , praises her , pray to her as muslims pray in prayers. this religious practice is my fantasy since childhood, i always enjoyed roaster punishment in front of my young female teacher while i was in school and she used to spank my ass(infact i was a brilliant student but my teacher at school and academy checked and find some slight mistakes from my work and then ordered me to become roaster and then used to spanked my ass. I belong to femdom world and want to renain under strict type of punishment forever. recently we have found Goddess Samira on internet(she can be searched on internet by her name). she is a real Goddess and religious dominatrix. me and my wife do the practice of her religion daily.
Regards
Yours Slave Shanzay
Rituals are a very important part of the flr component of our marriage, and I thought I would just go through what a typical M -F day in our marriage looks like since it is full of these rituals. Our weekend rituals are a bit different. I guess I should also say that we don’t have any kids, so this greatly opens up our ability to practice our lifestyle at home in a much more open manner than perhaps most couples. So this has allowed us to be very unabashed with our flr while at home.
ReplyDeleteOur day begins when my husband gets up out of bed and goes downstairs and showers up for the day. When he comes back up stairs he brings up my tea with him and then puts on the pair of panties which I had selected and laid out for him the night before from the dresser chair and then continues to get dressed for work in the normal fashion. My job allows me to work from home most days, so I do that, and he goes off to his work wearing his chastity, wearing his panties and his normal office work attire on top of that. He is kept in chastity pretty much all of the time. We have switched out his underwear drawer to all female panties, and that is part of his normal daily attire now. His “male underwear” is kept in a separate special drawer, with just a few solitary examples remaining, which we keep for necessary one-off purposes such as his doctor’s visit or other emergencies that might publicly expose him in an uncomfortable manner.
We both wrap up our work days around 5pm. With him arriving home around that time, and me finishing up with my work from home routine at that time. We finish preparing dinner (I usually get it started during the day since I am home and like the cooking) and then quickly eat. Then its off to the gym for the both of us. We both get a quick workout in and then it’s back home. I then shower up and begin relaxing in the living room by either reading, watching some tv, doing social media or just doing whatever else it is that I want to do – I relax. Meanwhile he cleans up the kitchen from dinner, get the days laundry (minus delicates which he does later on by hand) through the washer and dryer, folds it all and then puts all of that away. He does any other cleaning in the house which needs to get done that night. Usually the more “manly” chores such as outside work he gets done on the weekends. During the work week it the more mundane inside chores for him to do. By the time he is done with all of that each evening its getting pretty dark and the shades have gone down in the house. That’s his queue to strip down to the panties he’s been wearing all day long, and perhaps a tea shirt on top of that if he needs that to stay warm. He then comes into the living room so that I can give him a quick inspection. I give him a quick matter of fact “physical” check over and tell him how good he looks from the gym, or what he still needs to work on further, and also do a very quick inspection of his chastity for any signs of irritation or point out any spots which he needs to address with his grooming habits. Most importantly, I also make a point of closely inspecting the panties that he’s still wearing and pointing out of all the wet spots or dried wet spot on it from all of his nasty pre-cum during the day. This embarrasses him greatly which is my total point in doing so.
ReplyDeleteHe then finishes off his “cleaning day” by going off to the laundry room and hand washing the panties we have both worn that day. He hangs both pairs out to dry on the little clothes line we have in there. This is another nice touch, I think, since his panties are on full out in the open display in the laundry room as they dry overnight along with my own pair. I have them remain there until the following night when he begins to do the other laundry and then he gets to put those away. I think he always worries who might see those panties and if they put it all together that one of those panties hanging from the line is “his” pair. Between having him be completely in charge of hand washing both of our “delicates” by hand, and then the whole hanging them out to dry thing – I think this creates a nice flr mindfuck situation for him each and every day and which is why I love this particular ritual.
Its then finally off to the shower from him so he can go all nice and fresh for me for the rest of the evening. He showers, touches up his manscaping, gets his whole packaged area front and back all nice and clean and smooth for me. He finishes up by putting on a very light and delicate touch of his perfume for me. I also like this little portion of his nightly routine, immensely! This little routine feminizes him just the right amount each night where it puts him in the correct mindset as well as gets him all nice and clean smelling for me for the night which is also very nice. I like a clean and nicely scented man for bedtime, it just makes everything else which follows so much more enjoyable for us both. He then joins me in the living room wearing his sleep attire which consists of his chastity device, sleep pants and a tea shirt. At this point if the TV is on, it probably goes off, and we just have a nice long talk about the day and whatever else there is to talk about. While we talk, he gives me a very nice sensual foot massage or neck massage or anything else massage that I happen to choose. I may or may not sexually tease him a bit as he massages me, usually I do though. Usually that consists of my making some naughty comments in his ear, bouncing his package a bit with my hands or feet, or groping him “inappropriately” somehow. I also may just nibble on his ear, or just feather touch/stroke the outside of his “man pussy” with my fingers. The idea is just to put him just a little bit further into submission and to excite him sexually before we head upstairs to bed. I also frequently make a point of telling him during this evening quiet time, how pleased I am with his behavior and how hot and bothered it makes me to see him submitting to me so freely with all of his nightly chores and just how everything that he does in general makes me feel so happy and special, which is the absolute truth. Our nightly pre bed ritual leaves us both feeling physically cleansed (both mentally and physically), totally relaxed and sexually charged. I then grab him by the hand and we head upstairs to bed.
ReplyDeleteOnce we get to the bedroom, we settle in there. I select and lay out another pair of panties for him for the next days wear. We both then strip down to nothing, and I lay down on the bed with my legs spread open wide for his devotion. This is his reward for a job well done during the entire day, and trust me when I say he’s been looking forward to it all day long. My sexual satisfaction has become HIS sexual satisfaction. He gets down between my legs with his tongue and begins to do his magical thing. Usually, that then shifts to me on top of him grinding myself down onto his face. Most nights he is skilled enough, and I am horny enough, whereas he can get me off to at least one bed time orgasm. But if it’s orgasm or no orgasm for me that particular night, that’s fine too. His warm tongue between my legs is good enough for me. While all is this is happening, for the most part he is not getting any direct sexual attention directed his way what so ever. I may caress him a bit here and there as he licks away but usually that’s about it. It all about his tongue and my pussy or my ass. Once I get my fill of orgasms or just pleasurable licking, I roll off of him, kiss him on the forehead (his face is all slick) and we turn the lights off and just go to bed. He goes to sleep with my musky scent and juices drying all over his face. Another nice touch I believe.
ReplyDeleteThat’s our routine and a general run down of the daily rituals we follow in our marriage. He gets what he needs, and certainly get what I need. Life is usually very good.
Angelina