I've received several post comments, questions, and e-mails recently. I think it is great that many of you are taking an interest in what I write and I truly appreciate the positive comments and support. I encourage all of you to go back through my blogs and read the comments and add your own thoughts, opinions. If you are a female involved in a FLR, I welcome your opinions and advice with open arms. The more we can discuss and share, the more others can understand the wonderful benefits of a FLR and hopefully be encouraged to move their relationship in that direction.
Below I've responded to some of the questions I have received. A few are a bit off-topic but boys will boys and I know these things are always in the back of your mind.......
What are your thoughts on cuckolding?
Below I've responded to some of the questions I have received. A few are a bit off-topic but boys will boys and I know these things are always in the back of your mind.......
What are your thoughts on cuckolding?
It is not something that interests me. I enjoy the intimacy I have with my husband and have no desire to disrupt that with another person. If both partners agree to it and it works for you, then that's great. It becomes another tool for the wife to control the husband and another mechanism to add spice to the relationship. It is something that should be contemplated seriously before starting and both partners need to over communicate their feelings throughout the process.. Relationships and emotions are delicate and bringing others into the mix can cause issues. However, I know for many people it works well.
How often does your husband pleasure you?
Of course you know the answer is that he pleasures me when I want :). The frequency varies depending on what's going in our life at the time. We have two teenage kids so right now finding time alone is a challenge. I'd say on average 1 - 2 times a week but sometimes it can be less frequent. Men seem to be so focused on the act of sex. Don't get me wrong, it is great, but there are so many other good things. I love a foot massage, having him serve me breakfast in bed, or simply having him kneeling at attention for me. Not to mention I tease him quite a bit during the week, which brings me sexual satisfaction.
How often do you let him climax?
I do not keep track. He climax's when I decide, which can be when I am in the mood to allow him (not often) or if I notice he is getting a little antsy. I call it the "annoying factor." When he starts to get annoying it is usually because he is overdue for an orgasm. I would say he typically goes anywhere from 4 - 8 weeks. Sometimes it is longer and on occasion it may be shorter. While his orgasms are rare, he gets lot of teasing in between. I find this length of denial combined with regular teasing keeps him in a constant state of arousal, which he enjoys and it keeps him wanting to pleasing and serve me.
Do you allow sexual intercourse?
Yes. There is a lot of symbolism in our sexual intercourse. Thomas views it as a very special privilege to have sex with his Goddess Wife. He knows that in our marriage it is not something he is entitled to. Often times after we have sex he thanks me for allowing him to have sex with me. I love that he uses the word 'allowing'. During intercourse I am on top and in control. He does not thrust unless I allow it. If there is any thrusting it is only for my benefit, to enhance my pleasure. Thomas has the mindset during intercourse to focus on pleasing me and to suppress his own orgasm. He never expects an orgasm during intercourse and he is not allowed to orgasm unless I give permission. I will only allow him to orgasm during intercourse once or twice a year.
The frequency of our intercourse varies based on my mood and how busy we are. Most of the time I have him pleasure me orally or with his fingers so intercourse is not very frequent. I enjoy limiting it as a form of control over him and to let him know that it is a very special privilege. Often times we have intercourse about once a month. There are also times when we go 2 - 3 months without intercourse.
This may seem extreme to some of you but it works for us. Thomas enjoys being controlled in this way. He gets an erotic rush when I have an orgasm during sex while he is denied. I will drift to sleep afterward while he is awake and fully aroused. He loves it! He has told me that it arouses him whenever he thinks about the fact that he will never be allowed to have regular sex with me. My control and restrictions over his sex life is a thrill for him (and me too :).
The frequency of our intercourse varies based on my mood and how busy we are. Most of the time I have him pleasure me orally or with his fingers so intercourse is not very frequent. I enjoy limiting it as a form of control over him and to let him know that it is a very special privilege. Often times we have intercourse about once a month. There are also times when we go 2 - 3 months without intercourse.
This may seem extreme to some of you but it works for us. Thomas enjoys being controlled in this way. He gets an erotic rush when I have an orgasm during sex while he is denied. I will drift to sleep afterward while he is awake and fully aroused. He loves it! He has told me that it arouses him whenever he thinks about the fact that he will never be allowed to have regular sex with me. My control and restrictions over his sex life is a thrill for him (and me too :).
What are your thoughts on semen? Is it gross? Erotic? Something you want to totally avoid? I'm neutral. I don't think it is gross and I don't get overly excited by it. It just a part of sex.
Do any of your friends have a FLR?
Not that I am aware of. It is not something that I talk about with friends. We keep to ourselves about our FLR.
-MzKaylee
Do any of your friends have a FLR?
Not that I am aware of. It is not something that I talk about with friends. We keep to ourselves about our FLR.
-MzKaylee
Thanks for sharing. I have a follow-on question: what drives the FLR dynamics? is it the sexual libido? if so, will the FLR sizzle dissipate when the couple gets older due to less sexual libido?
ReplyDeleteIt really varies by couple and maay even change or evolve over time. There are some couples where sexual libido is not a driver at all in the FLR. My sense is that many FLRs start out with sexual libido as the driver. However, as the couple explores the lifestyle, other drivers come into play such as the man's desire to please the wife or his need for direction, control and guidance. From the wife's perspective, drivers can include the reward of being pampered and not having to do chores, having control over the husband's activities (ensuring he stays out of trouble), and bringing harnomy and peace to the marriage.
ReplyDeleteA common theme I have heard from more experienced couples is that the FLR has brought them closer together and made their marriage more fulfilling. Ican attest to that myself as well. For me, that is a big driver for keeping it going.
I'm not sure why many women in a FLR have their husbands service them orally but limit intercourse to rarely if at all.
ReplyDeleteMy wife approaches this from more of a eastern perspective, and practices her own version of sex magic. I used to be a free ejaculating male, and then as she got more involved into meditation and various yoga practices, she learned about semen retention, and now she insist I be a semen retaining male mostly because because it's better for me health wise (raises testosterone and spiritually (Builds chi). So, she doesn't see it as being mean or sadistic but for my own good that she polices my masturbation habits (which is now non existent), and has set my ejaculation schedule.
But she doesn't think it's fair that she should have to go without a penis just because I only ejaculate once every seven days. She uses my penis almost daily before or after her meditation/yoga. She's multi orgasmic and has a very short refractory time. She has an orgasm by riding my penis on top, and then jumping on my face when she's on the brink, so I can finish her clit off with my tongue. She'll do this nine times. Don't ask why nine? It's a holy number or something. She has come to believe that it's very important for a woman to regulate a man's ejaculation. It really bonds a man to one woman. A free ejaculating male will eventually cease to be stimulated by his wife and seek novel females in real life or porn. She controls ejaculation because I would always opt for ejaculation in the heat of the moment. Sunday is always ejaculation day, but the week is filled with intercourse and orgasms for her, and great sex and frustration for me, but she just says it's for my own good. What keeps me on the straight and narrow. She does have severe consequences for not waiting for her verbal permission. It's usually 30-50 strokes with a leather strap or drilled paddle. I've only had to experience this just a few times. It's not fun or sexy the way she delivers it. It hurts like hell. I don't have to consent to it. But I need to if I ever want to get inside her vagina again.
I don't know how to describe it but she really can sculpt my attitude with the ejaculation schedule.
KS, I appreciate you sharing this. I am very aroused by the "double standard" in our sex life. Our goal during sex is for her to climax first. Sometimes she is very tired and simply falls asleep with no stimulation or teasing from me. Sometimes she will get me close to orgasm, and then say, "OK, it's time for bed" and she loves to feel my desire for her against her backside.
DeleteMy wife also enjoys my penis inside her when she climaxes, but when she does, it usually turns me on so much that I ejaculate. So, actual intercourse is somewhat limited.
lovetosubmit, Well, when you get close you could just stop movement and wait for 30sec-60sec and let it pass.
DeleteI've been trying to talk my wife into going back the way things were before semen retention as this is frustrating. It's just very hard for me to stop when it's over for her. She has her nine orgasms, and just tells me to get off her, she's done,and just walks away telling me not to play with it and refocus cleaning the kitchen or something.
I asked her if we could stop this yesterday, she just said "we could, but we won't. You have amazing control, and your adjusting just fine to this, and sex is much better this way." she has told me before that I'm lucky to ejaculate at all. She really believes ejaculation should be reserved for procreation, and it's much healthier for males to retain semen. She's told me the masters may only ejaculate once a month or 6 months. She wants me to work up to twice a month. She says I just need to focus on the pleasure of the intercourse and not be so goal oriented with ejaculation.
The side benefit for her is as she's putting on her panties after sex, she'll say "If you want to see this pussy again, you'll need to get the bathrooms cleaned.", or whatever she needs done. And intercourse doesn't happen again until then.
You mentioned "Sometimes she will get me close to orgasm, and then say, "OK, it's time for bed" and she loves to feel my desire for her against her backside." It's nice that you get to sleep in the same bed with her. Since my wife has instituted semen retention, she doesn't want me sleeping in the same bed with her because she doesn't want to be woken up with a hard penis humping on her. At night if I'm in her bedroom, she'll just "I'm going to bed, you'll need to go to room now."
Divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. There's a reason it exists.
Delete"Divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. There's a reason it exists."
ReplyDeleteI doubt many marriages have the intense passionate sex that we do. It's never mundane or routine, and always fresh. There would be a hundred men lined up to take my place if I left, and I would have to put up with a whole town of people telling me what an idiot I am. Obviously, you haven't seen her so your comment might be understandable.
I guess, but that part where I get to ejaculate is really important for me. Obviously, you're OK with the sacrifices like sleeping alone. I wouldn't be even if she were a supermodel. Everyone makes their choices.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can't tell how powerful the sensation of ejaculation is after having a hot girl riding your cock all week and finally being able to blow it on Sunday, but it's indescribable. It's far more intense and pleasurable than a male that blows it every time in intercourse. They say a heroin addict spends the rest of their life chasing that first high, and all the other hits they take are just to maintain functionality. With regular intercourse with an ejaculation schedule, that first ejaculation you had when you were young is captured every time.
DeleteI understand her desire to sleep alone. She needs her sleep and doesn't need to be woken up at 5am by a half asleep guy with a raging hard on trying to use her as a humping post. That's about an hour of sound sleep lost.
That's the price to pay for mind blowing sex. I'd like to stop semen retention, but at the same time, much would be lost. Nothing worse than passionless married couple sex.
I can only imagine it is. Sounds like you've got exactly what you want. I can't imagine how you maintain concentration and focus at work. By Friday, I wouldn't be able to do fractions.
ReplyDeleteEventually, after a intercourse session (after she's completely satisfied) you refocus and are functioning normally. It only takes maybe 10-15 minutes. The only difference being that your completely in love with and focused on your wife, and really look forward to seeing her again. It's that same feeling you had in that first few weeks after you met her. It's the passionate courtship phase of the relationship extended into marriage. You don't have to wait the whole week. She can set the schedule to once every third session or whatever she thinks you can tolerate, but eventually she'll probably want you to go longer. At least me wife did. Your wife will be able to fine tune your disposition by adjusting the schedule. You'll be surprised how much of your personality is rooted in this.
ReplyDeleteSex used to be over when I came, now it's over when she's finished. She seems to be much more aroused knowing that I'm not going to cum. She truly enjoys riding a cock that desperately wants to cum but isn't going to until she gives verbal permission. It makes it much more intense for her. most women don't awake to the pleasure their vagina's can give them because their men finish before the women even start get warmed up.
Mz Kaylee, you mentioned having Thomas give you oral anal pleasure. What hygiene steps if any do you take? I often do that for my wife as we both enjoy it. However, we wonder if that poses any long term health issues for me? On the other hand, the hygiene precautions we hear of takes away some of the femdom dynamics and emotions from the act.
ReplyDelete