A blog to inspire and educate women to lead and men to submit. A place where practical ideas about femdom and Female Led Relationships (FLR) can be shared and discussed
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Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Is a Female Led Relationship Fair?
I would like to pose this question to all of you. I have my thoughts and opinions on this but before I share them I would like to hear from you. Is a FLR fair?
Mz Kaylee - As a male who is in an Female Led Marriage my sense is that an FLR is very fair. By taking on the role of head of household and allowing me to serve her as her husband-slave my wife is fulfilling many of my deepest desires. I hope that in my service to my wife I am giving her a gift as well. As I take on more and more of the household chores such as cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, etc she is more free to pursue her own interests, whether it is gardening, reading, going out with her girl friends, or just lounging at home. She has also grown so much in her confidence and authority (while I have lost quite a bit of my male edge as I submit to her in all things). In terms of our bedroom activity, she has become more dominant, allowing me only 3 orgasms so far this year, while she has had many many more-- and this is the way we have come to think it should be. Her control over my orgasms makes me even more dedicated to her and increases my desire to serve and please her. So, all in all, I would call our FLR a win-win and a very fair arrangement for all involved.
I'd very much agree with the anonymous response above that the relationship is fair in that we both get benefit from the arrangement.
For someone external to the relationship who only see our physical interactions it would look to be unfair, but they don't see the deeper connection that exists.
No! But, if it is agreed upon by the Female/Wife and the male/husband then it becomes fair. Even then it is not always fair but it is more often desired by both parties therefore making it right.
Hello Mz Kaylee, My oldest child is 31, youngest are a set of 11 year old twins. There are more than I'd like to say in-between! It's sufficient to say I've heard the phrase "It's/that's not fair" about a bajillion times. My response is usually something to the extent of life isn't fair and isn't supposed to be. What's important is how we deal with what life throws at us.
But really, what is fair and why is it so important? To me, if someone is overly concerned with things being fair, that person is centered on him or herself too much. I believe strongly in what comes around goes around, you are what you eat, show me your friends.... etc. If you're always worried about what's fair then you will probably never have enough. If you go about the business of giving of yourself, (submitting, as it were) helping others, then you appreciate the things you do have and that creates happiness. If you are happy then I have to believe that one would think that life has been fair to them. So it's all perspective really.
Taking it back to your actual question of an FLM being fair. If it is a loving relationship, both Dom and sub are happy and content then it seems to me to be fair. Not to mention the age old phrase, "All's fair in love and war!"
That's my 2 cents worth. Appreciate your blog, its a great source of refrence for my Queen and I as we go through the early stages of our FLM. I hope you keep on going, the thought and dedication you put into it is quite apparent. Looking forward to the post that follows these responses!
I think of this in terms of balance. For a relationship of any kind to succeed, both partners must believe that they are getting as much out of the relationship as they are putting into it. For many of us, an FLR makes balance possible.
Of course, that's easier said than done. One of the risks that comes with a relationship in which one partner is dominant is the possibility of the submissive partner feeling exploited. (This could happen in any marriage, but the circumstances of an FLM are different.) The couple has to be aware of that and ensure that the submissive partner will feel safe and heard should the issue come up.
Anyway, when there is imbalance, the person who is giving more than he or she is getting (and that's not necessarily the submissive) will eventually feel that the relationship is unfair. That can happen in any relationship, but there are special risks in an FLM.
From a work perspective it's definitely not fair but the whole premise of the relationship is based on it being unfair that way. I don't know that fairness is ever an issue when a couple decides on taking the leap into the dominant/submissive world. Issues seem to revolve more around needs then fairness and if anything it may be unfair to the woman leading the relationship if she is pushed uncomfortably beyond that which she wishes to lead… or how she is asked to lead. Maybe the answer to your question lies in defining the reference point or perspective of the person doing the judging as to whether or not things are fair.
Fantastic discussion so far. My opinion is actually changing a bit based on some of the comments. Please keep it going. I would encourage you to comment on someone else's comment as well. I will provide my input after a bit more of the discussion. This is great stuff!
Is a Female Led Relationship Fair? yes and as submissive male my self its for the best if mistress get her way in all things and her husband slave just does as he is told and waits on his mistrees hand and foot with her needs only on his mind and how to be a better servent and housekeeper and how to massage his mistreess feet better and her back and tried to be the best slave he can be with out ever topping fromthe botttom
I'll be honest and say that I am turned on sexually when I am treated unfairly. As time passes my wife becomes ever more strict with me, and unfairness is the glue that makes it work. We are at a point that I am kept naked; I am not allowed to speak or use the furniture in the house; I do all housework, all cooking, cleaning, serving, every day with no break; I am teased with no hope of release, and beaten if I accidentally release; sex is for her pleasure, never for mine; if I'm well-behaved and totally subservient I get five quick swats of the paddle in the morning and five in the evening, but I'm caned with greater severity if I need correction; I treat her like a queen and in turn I'm treated as a slave, with literally no rights that I can take for granted; the list goes on. All of this is terribly unfair, and I admit that, at times, it is hard to take. And I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I love my Mistress with all my heart. I worship her and the ground she walks on. Literally. In the everyday, non-D/S world I'm treated unfairly. But in the world of consensual 24/7 slavery, this is precisely how I as a slave should be treated, if my Mistress so chooses. I think "I-m Hers" is correct when he writes that fairness depends on the reference point or perspective of the person doing the judging. My Mistress enjoys my subservience and my commitment to her comfort, and she has every right to treat me this way. It is a fair way to treat a slave. -- franklin
I'll add that, because I find unfairness erotic, my life as a slave is an endless tease. Something as mundane as serving Mistress a meal is erotic for the simple reason that I may or may not be allowed food. Then in turn, the eroticism is multiplied exponentially by the unfairness of my sexual denial. Mistress is satisfied sexually every day, usually by her slave -- a slave who is denied release. That fact makes it all double up. Unfairness is part and parcel of this. Unfairness is a way of life. -- franklin
A few years ago, after discovering the concept of male chastity and seeking my wife’s approval to purchase and wear a device, I became obsessed with the idea of power exchange and a Female Led Lifestyle. Through the discovery of various blogs dedicated to chastity and Female Led Relationships I began to obsess and fantasize about the possibility of asking my wife to adopt such a lifestyle in our marriage. Through conversations, and my selfish persistence, she again reluctantly agreed to do to so. Over about 3 years, our lifestyle has begun to slowly change. However, it is my opinion that my persistence at “encouraging” her to adopt the role of head of household has generally been unfair to my wife.
As my wife reluctantly agreed to be a Key Holder, she had no basis for understanding, nor desire for a potential Wife Led Marriage. Everything in her upbringing and adult life had prepared and encouraged her to live with a traditional husband as the head of household. The first 28 years of our marriage reinforced her view of my role as head of household. We are recent empty-nesters, the changes brought about by the kids leaving the house are emotional enough, without me begging her to establish a new role as the head of our household.
My discovery of male chastity and the realization that other couples recognized male submission as a viable lifestyle released a desire within me that I didn’t know existed. As I contemplated the opportunity to serve my wife in a submissive capacity and relinquish control of major aspects of our lives, I began to envision her immediate and complete acceptance of WLM because it would make her life easier, less stressful and happier. It never dawned on me the emotional energy required to accept my admission of submissiveness, nor the mental energy of adopting the primary decision making and rules creation responsibilities in the home, coupled with the disciplinary aspects of rules enforcement. Now I realize that my hours spent reflecting on my submission and then “springing it on her” were extremely unfair and frightening.
She had no frame of reference and began our journey with no real insight into Wife Led Marriage; she was merely accommodating my “request” to be my key holder. As I came to express my thoughts, hopes, and vision for WLM, she was afraid that I was asking for a BDSM Mistress/slave relationship or something that might violate moral or spiritual boundaries. She’s has been gracious to explore WLM and to implement aspects of the lifestyle into our marriage. I am extremely grateful.
So, is it fair that I receive more pleasure from my submission than she receives from her leadership? No!
Is her acceptance of WLM growing and is she beginning to experience benefits from being the head of our household? Yes, I believe she is.
As our WLM grows and she continues to receive positive reinforcement of the benefits of leading a husband who loves and adores her, will there eventually be a tipping point where the benefits to her exceed the pleasure I receive from submission – thus being unfair to me? One can only hope.
Of course, FLR is somewhat "unfair" (unequal) concerning work, doing chores, routines, daily decicions, sexual satisfaction - and that's no problem. FLR is a one-sided compromise about moving power - from him to her. Every guy knows that before starting.
But there are still limits and taboos, which require fair, equal and mutual discussions und decisions. Big points, for me. Mostly things with effects on sub's self-confidence. So the sub must have take part of decisions about cuckolding, giving up his money/finances, jobs, spare time etc. (for me personally also wearing chastity-devices long-time due to health-riscs). If a guy wants this deep slavery thing, the lady may decide so. But at least the sub must be asked first. And he should have a clear mind when making this decisions. No drugs and no extended teasing session before.
So after fairly defining the big limits it's up to the lady to develop things in her way and let the sub serve.
Unless the man lacks the psychological or emotional well being to legitimately consent to the power exchange, the arrangement overall is probably "fair." However, within that context, he generally surrenders the right to what most would consider fair treatment.
Unless he is too emotionally dependent or weak to do so, he can ultimately end any unfairness by terminating the FLR or ending the relationship altogether. If he is too emotionally dependent or weak to do so, then the arrangement is exploitative and decidedly unfair IMO.
I often wonder how many people go down this road and have it go so sideways on them that the entire relationship blows up. It seems like some really intractable resentments could develop that would be hard to undo, but I haven't heard much about that actually happening.
This is a wonderful thread. It has helped me clarify some of my thinking. Thank you for posting! On Saturday mornings when I hand (usually dictate after breakfast) a very, very long chore list that I know will take him all day while I am planning a day of total relaxation - usually exercise, tennis and/or luncheon with a girlfriend - the idea of "fair" is not paramount. I want to come back from my day and see visually that he has worked and is working hard for me. It is not about fair. I agree that it is about "need". He literally hungers to serve me and make me happy. I of course cherish happiness. We entered this slowly but it works for both of us. He is a "free" person and if at anytime it does not (I don't mean to sound harsh but it is true) - the door is open.
Fairness is very subjective. When viewed from the frame of reference of a vanilla marriage, FLR is very unfair. However, when viewed from within the context of a FLR, it is very fair. Sorry to be philosophical here but thats my 2 cents.
Not to be overly philosophical about this, but I think fairness is not objective. It depends on the nature of the thing you're evaluating. Am I treated the same way as my wife in this relationship? Absolutely not. She clearly receives more of the things that we consider benefits in a relationship. Is that fair? It depends on whether you think she's deserving of that treatment or not. I do think that, and even barring that belief, the nature of our relationship is such that it seems completely natural for me to serve her every whim. It's just the way it is to me, just a fact of life that in a way supersedes any conclusion that one would come to in pondering the philosophical implications of it.
Also, the unfairness of it is oddly enough one of the things that I find most satisfying about it. The most obvious example of unfairness is in our sex life, or more appropriately her sex life. She frequently makes use of cunnilingus from me as well as various other forms of pampering and pleasure that I bring to her. Body massages, foot massages, foot licking, oral worship of any other body part that she's in the mood for, etc. Sometimes she enjoys cunnilingus simply as a way to relax. I'll lick her very gently for as long as she wants as she relaxes or even drifts off into a light sleep at times. All the while I'm totally denied even the ability to touch myself, let alone having her fulfill my sexual needs, which would be truly absurd in our relationship.
I've found more fascination and satisfaction in other manifestations of this unfairness though, as it comes up in the less overtly sexual parts of our lives. For example, I'm on a strict diet. I workout frequently and I maintain (to the best of my ability) the exact kind of body that she desires to see. I do usually walk around the house without my shirt off as I do my chores, and before I pleasure her she often instructs me to show off my body in a submissive fashion, which seems to really turn her on. I'm almost never allowed to deviate from my diet. On the other hand, she has total freedom to let her body get however she wants it. What I'm about to say is not intended as any sort of negative statement whatsoever. I have the upmost reverence for her, but before our FLR relationship she would watch her weight rather carefully. Since the FLR, she's gained about 30 pounds. I have no complaints whatsoever. I'm just using this as an example of the double standard. Part of her weight gain may be attributed to my cooking (I'd like to think). I've taken culinary classes which I mostly make use of for her benefit. Like I said, my diet is very strict. I make her whatever she wants every night, even if I can't eat the same thing that I made for her. At times when we're out somewhere she'll indulge in an ice cream or whatever she wants. It's not even a question as to whether or not I can have one. She at times even teases me about it when this happens, just little comments here and there in passing. For example recently we were at the mall and she got an ice cream from a shop. While we were walking she causally asked "hey honey does this look good?" to which I responded "yes, ma'am, it does." She smirked and that was it. These exchanges are as much of a turn on as they are frustrating. So that's just one example. I'm sure I could think of many more. It's amazing how having your penis locked up results in submission in so many other areas.
I realize this is an old post but I came across it and felt the need to comment, as I clearly have a lot to say on this question.
Mz Kaylee - As a male who is in an Female Led Marriage my sense is that an FLR is very fair. By taking on the role of head of household and allowing me to serve her as her husband-slave my wife is fulfilling many of my deepest desires. I hope that in my service to my wife I am giving her a gift as well. As I take on more and more of the household chores such as cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, etc she is more free to pursue her own interests, whether it is gardening, reading, going out with her girl friends, or just lounging at home. She has also grown so much in her confidence and authority (while I have lost quite a bit of my male edge as I submit to her in all things). In terms of our bedroom activity, she has become more dominant, allowing me only 3 orgasms so far this year, while she has had many many more-- and this is the way we have come to think it should be. Her control over my orgasms makes me even more dedicated to her and increases my desire to serve and please her. So, all in all, I would call our FLR a win-win and a very fair arrangement for all involved.
ReplyDeleteHi Ms Kaylee
ReplyDeleteI'd very much agree with the anonymous response above that the relationship is fair in that we both get benefit from the arrangement.
For someone external to the relationship who only see our physical interactions it would look to be unfair, but they don't see the deeper connection that exists.
No! But, if it is agreed upon by the Female/Wife and the male/husband then it becomes fair. Even then it is not always fair but it is more often desired by both parties therefore making it right.
ReplyDeleteHello Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteMy oldest child is 31, youngest are a set of 11 year old twins. There are more than I'd like to say in-between! It's sufficient to say I've heard the phrase "It's/that's not fair" about a bajillion times. My response is usually something to the extent of life isn't fair and isn't supposed to be. What's important is how we deal with what life throws at us.
But really, what is fair and why is it so important? To me, if someone is overly concerned with things being fair, that person is centered on him or herself too much. I believe strongly in what comes around goes around, you are what you eat, show me your friends.... etc. If you're always worried about what's fair then you will probably never have enough. If you go about the business of giving of yourself, (submitting, as it were) helping others, then you appreciate the things you do have and that creates happiness. If you are happy then I have to believe that one would think that life has been fair to them. So it's all perspective really.
Taking it back to your actual question of an FLM being fair. If it is a loving relationship, both Dom and sub are happy and content then it seems to me to be fair. Not to mention the age old phrase, "All's fair in love and war!"
That's my 2 cents worth. Appreciate your blog, its a great source of refrence for my Queen and I as we go through the early stages of our FLM. I hope you keep on going, the thought and dedication you put into it is quite apparent. Looking forward to the post that follows these responses!
sublove
Good question.
ReplyDeleteI think of this in terms of balance. For a relationship of any kind to succeed, both partners must believe that they are getting as much out of the relationship as they are putting into it. For many of us, an FLR makes balance possible.
Of course, that's easier said than done. One of the risks that comes with a relationship in which one partner is dominant is the possibility of the submissive partner feeling exploited. (This could happen in any marriage, but the circumstances of an FLM are different.) The couple has to be aware of that and ensure that the submissive partner will feel safe and heard should the issue come up.
Anyway, when there is imbalance, the person who is giving more than he or she is getting (and that's not necessarily the submissive) will eventually feel that the relationship is unfair. That can happen in any relationship, but there are special risks in an FLM.
From a work perspective it's definitely not fair but the whole premise of the relationship is based on it being unfair that way. I don't know that fairness is ever an issue when a couple decides on taking the leap into the dominant/submissive world. Issues seem to revolve more around needs then fairness and if anything it may be unfair to the woman leading the relationship if she is pushed uncomfortably beyond that which she wishes to lead… or how she is asked to lead. Maybe the answer to your question lies in defining the reference point or perspective of the person doing the judging as to whether or not things are fair.
ReplyDeleteFantastic discussion so far. My opinion is actually changing a bit based on some of the comments. Please keep it going. I would encourage you to comment on someone else's comment as well. I will provide my input after a bit more of the discussion. This is great stuff!
ReplyDeleteIs a Female Led Relationship Fair? yes and as submissive male my self its for the best if mistress get her way in all things and her husband slave just does as he is told and waits on his mistrees hand and foot with her needs only on his mind and how to be a better servent and housekeeper and how to massage his mistreess feet better and her back and tried to be the best slave he can be with out ever topping fromthe botttom
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest and say that I am turned on sexually when I am treated unfairly. As time passes my wife becomes ever more strict with me, and unfairness is the glue that makes it work. We are at a point that I am kept naked; I am not allowed to speak or use the furniture in the house; I do all housework, all cooking, cleaning, serving, every day with no break; I am teased with no hope of release, and beaten if I accidentally release; sex is for her pleasure, never for mine; if I'm well-behaved and totally subservient I get five quick swats of the paddle in the morning and five in the evening, but I'm caned with greater severity if I need correction; I treat her like a queen and in turn I'm treated as a slave, with literally no rights that I can take for granted; the list goes on. All of this is terribly unfair, and I admit that, at times, it is hard to take. And I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I love my Mistress with all my heart. I worship her and the ground she walks on. Literally. In the everyday, non-D/S world I'm treated unfairly. But in the world of consensual 24/7 slavery, this is precisely how I as a slave should be treated, if my Mistress so chooses. I think "I-m Hers" is correct when he writes that fairness depends on the reference point or perspective of the person doing the judging. My Mistress enjoys my subservience and my commitment to her comfort, and she has every right to treat me this way. It is a fair way to treat a slave. -- franklin
ReplyDeleteI'll add that, because I find unfairness erotic, my life as a slave is an endless tease. Something as mundane as serving Mistress a meal is erotic for the simple reason that I may or may not be allowed food. Then in turn, the eroticism is multiplied exponentially by the unfairness of my sexual denial. Mistress is satisfied sexually every day, usually by her slave -- a slave who is denied release. That fact makes it all double up. Unfairness is part and parcel of this. Unfairness is a way of life. -- franklin
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, after discovering the concept of male chastity and seeking my wife’s approval to purchase and wear a device, I became obsessed with the idea of power exchange and a Female Led Lifestyle. Through the discovery of various blogs dedicated to chastity and Female Led Relationships I began to obsess and fantasize about the possibility of asking my wife to adopt such a lifestyle in our marriage. Through conversations, and my selfish persistence, she again reluctantly agreed to do to so. Over about 3 years, our lifestyle has begun to slowly change. However, it is my opinion that my persistence at “encouraging” her to adopt the role of head of household has generally been unfair to my wife.
ReplyDeleteAs my wife reluctantly agreed to be a Key Holder, she had no basis for understanding, nor desire for a potential Wife Led Marriage. Everything in her upbringing and adult life had prepared and encouraged her to live with a traditional husband as the head of household. The first 28 years of our marriage reinforced her view of my role as head of household. We are recent empty-nesters, the changes brought about by the kids leaving the house are emotional enough, without me begging her to establish a new role as the head of our household.
My discovery of male chastity and the realization that other couples recognized male submission as a viable lifestyle released a desire within me that I didn’t know existed. As I contemplated the opportunity to serve my wife in a submissive capacity and relinquish control of major aspects of our lives, I began to envision her immediate and complete acceptance of WLM because it would make her life easier, less stressful and happier. It never dawned on me the emotional energy required to accept my admission of submissiveness, nor the mental energy of adopting the primary decision making and rules creation responsibilities in the home, coupled with the disciplinary aspects of rules enforcement. Now I realize that my hours spent reflecting on my submission and then “springing it on her” were extremely unfair and frightening.
She had no frame of reference and began our journey with no real insight into Wife Led Marriage; she was merely accommodating my “request” to be my key holder. As I came to express my thoughts, hopes, and vision for WLM, she was afraid that I was asking for a BDSM Mistress/slave relationship or something that might violate moral or spiritual boundaries. She’s has been gracious to explore WLM and to implement aspects of the lifestyle into our marriage. I am extremely grateful.
So, is it fair that I receive more pleasure from my submission than she receives from her leadership? No!
Is her acceptance of WLM growing and is she beginning to experience benefits from being the head of our household? Yes, I believe she is.
As our WLM grows and she continues to receive positive reinforcement of the benefits of leading a husband who loves and adores her, will there eventually be a tipping point where the benefits to her exceed the pleasure I receive from submission – thus being unfair to me? One can only hope.
Of course, FLR is somewhat "unfair" (unequal) concerning work, doing chores, routines, daily decicions, sexual satisfaction - and that's no problem. FLR is a one-sided compromise about moving power - from him to her. Every guy knows that before starting.
ReplyDeleteBut there are still limits and taboos, which require fair, equal and mutual discussions und decisions. Big points, for me.
Mostly things with effects on sub's self-confidence. So the sub must have take part of decisions about cuckolding, giving up his money/finances, jobs, spare time etc. (for me personally also wearing chastity-devices long-time due to health-riscs).
If a guy wants this deep slavery thing, the lady may decide so. But at least the sub must be asked first.
And he should have a clear mind when making this decisions. No drugs and no extended teasing session before.
So after fairly defining the big limits it's up to the lady to develop things in her way and let the sub serve.
Unless the man lacks the psychological or emotional well being to legitimately consent to the power exchange, the arrangement overall is probably "fair." However, within that context, he generally surrenders the right to what most would consider fair treatment.
ReplyDeleteUnless he is too emotionally dependent or weak to do so, he can ultimately end any unfairness by terminating the FLR or ending the relationship altogether. If he is too emotionally dependent or weak to do so, then the arrangement is exploitative and decidedly unfair IMO.
I often wonder how many people go down this road and have it go so sideways on them that the entire relationship blows up. It seems like some really intractable resentments could develop that would be hard to undo, but I haven't heard much about that actually happening.
This is a wonderful thread. It has helped me clarify some of my thinking. Thank you for posting! On Saturday mornings when I hand (usually dictate after breakfast) a very, very long chore list that I know will take him all day while I am planning a day of total relaxation - usually exercise, tennis and/or luncheon with a girlfriend - the idea of "fair" is not paramount. I want to come back from my day and see visually that he has worked and is working hard for me. It is not about fair. I agree that it is about "need". He literally hungers to serve me and make me happy. I of course cherish happiness. We entered this slowly but it works for both of us. He is a "free" person and if at anytime it does not (I don't mean to sound harsh but it is true) - the door is open.
ReplyDeleteHopefully he reads this so he understands his true "value" to and can make an informed decision.
DeleteIs the door really open or have you taken control of his finances and stripped him of his ability to leave?
Delete*true "value" to you
ReplyDeleteFairness is very subjective. When viewed from the frame of reference of a vanilla marriage, FLR is very unfair. However, when viewed from within the context of a FLR, it is very fair. Sorry to be philosophical here but thats my 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteNot to be overly philosophical about this, but I think fairness is not objective. It depends on the nature of the thing you're evaluating. Am I treated the same way as my wife in this relationship? Absolutely not. She clearly receives more of the things that we consider benefits in a relationship. Is that fair? It depends on whether you think she's deserving of that treatment or not. I do think that, and even barring that belief, the nature of our relationship is such that it seems completely natural for me to serve her every whim. It's just the way it is to me, just a fact of life that in a way supersedes any conclusion that one would come to in pondering the philosophical implications of it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the unfairness of it is oddly enough one of the things that I find most satisfying about it. The most obvious example of unfairness is in our sex life, or more appropriately her sex life. She frequently makes use of cunnilingus from me as well as various other forms of pampering and pleasure that I bring to her. Body massages, foot massages, foot licking, oral worship of any other body part that she's in the mood for, etc. Sometimes she enjoys cunnilingus simply as a way to relax. I'll lick her very gently for as long as she wants as she relaxes or even drifts off into a light sleep at times. All the while I'm totally denied even the ability to touch myself, let alone having her fulfill my sexual needs, which would be truly absurd in our relationship.
I've found more fascination and satisfaction in other manifestations of this unfairness though, as it comes up in the less overtly sexual parts of our lives. For example, I'm on a strict diet. I workout frequently and I maintain (to the best of my ability) the exact kind of body that she desires to see. I do usually walk around the house without my shirt off as I do my chores, and before I pleasure her she often instructs me to show off my body in a submissive fashion, which seems to really turn her on. I'm almost never allowed to deviate from my diet. On the other hand, she has total freedom to let her body get however she wants it. What I'm about to say is not intended as any sort of negative statement whatsoever. I have the upmost reverence for her, but before our FLR relationship she would watch her weight rather carefully. Since the FLR, she's gained about 30 pounds. I have no complaints whatsoever. I'm just using this as an example of the double standard. Part of her weight gain may be attributed to my cooking (I'd like to think). I've taken culinary classes which I mostly make use of for her benefit. Like I said, my diet is very strict. I make her whatever she wants every night, even if I can't eat the same thing that I made for her. At times when we're out somewhere she'll indulge in an ice cream or whatever she wants. It's not even a question as to whether or not I can have one. She at times even teases me about it when this happens, just little comments here and there in passing. For example recently we were at the mall and she got an ice cream from a shop. While we were walking she causally asked "hey honey does this look good?" to which I responded "yes, ma'am, it does." She smirked and that was it. These exchanges are as much of a turn on as they are frustrating. So that's just one example. I'm sure I could think of many more. It's amazing how having your penis locked up results in submission in so many other areas.
I realize this is an old post but I came across it and felt the need to comment, as I clearly have a lot to say on this question.