Monday, April 29, 2019

The "Hold" Technique

Over the years I’ve discovered a few techniques and methods for bringing out the submission in my husband.  He is submissive by nature so I am not talking about converting him into a submissive husband.  That part has already been done by forces beyond me. What I am referring to is doing things to deepen his submissive state and strengthen his submission to me.

There are a few benefits to doing this. First, a submissive man is happiest when he is in a submissive state and when a woman embraces his submission. A man who falls deep into submission can experience sub-space, which is the ultimate utopia.  I am sure there are many different ways to describe sub-space. My husband explains it as a state of pure pleasure and euphoria in which his mind completely shuts off from the outside world. When he is in sub-space with me, he clings to every word I say and every action I do and obedience to me is filled with pleasure.  He has no thoughts other than to obey me. In essence my thoughts and commands are his thoughts. When he falls into subspace, his inhibitions disappear and he is willing to do just about anything for me. What’s fascinating to me, is just about anything I do to him or ask him to do when he is in sub-space, fills him with pleasure. The kinkier things get, the deeper he falls into sub-space. If you sense that your husband is in a sub-space state, it is a great time to try new kinky things and push his limits because all inhibitions are gone.

So if you want to make your husband happy, then find ways to deepen his submission. A husband’s happiness is important. A happy submissive husband is highly motivated to be devoted to his wife. An unhappy submissive husband becomes frustrated and demotivated. As a loving wife, it is also satisfying to me when I know my husband is happy.

As I noted above, deepening his submission also motivates him to obey me. When I stroke his submissive mind he becomes more devoted to me.  In a way it is his kryptonite. It is a power over him that he can not resist. However, unlike kryptonite, he enjoys falling under my spell and feeling my power over him. When he experiences it, he enjoys it so much that he wants to obey and please me even more. An obedient husband is of course, a wonderful thing and the biggest perk of a FLR for the woman.

Now that I have explained the benefits of deepening his submission, I will share a powerful technique for doing this, that I have discovered with my husband. It is very simple. The technique is to hold his erection firmly and for an extended duration. I don’t squeeze it hard. I just maintain a firm steady hold. It is amazing the effect this has on him. During the time I am holding his erection, his body and mind are 100% focused on his cock and since I am the one holding it, the focus transfers to me. When something has a grip on a man’s aroused cock, his thoughts go nowhere else but to that spot that is causing him arousal. It is like magic. Everything around him disappears at all his energy and thoughts are focused on his cock and what has a hold of it.

A man is not used to feeling a steady firmness around his cock.  He is used to stroking and pulsing but not a steady firmness.  This is an unusual feeling for him and his natural instinct is to thrust and move in order to increase his pleasure. My husband knows he is not allowed to thrust.  It takes concentration and restraint for him to remain still. Something I enjoy doing is teasing him to the brink of orgasm and then instead of releasing his cock, I just hold it firmly and wait for him to calm down.  The first 30 – 60 seconds is pure torture for him as he has to intensely concentrate on not having an orgasm. The temptation to thrust is very high as that is what his mind and body want to do at that very moment. He knows that the slightest thrust will send him over the edge.  He also knows that the slightest squeeze of my hand will send him over the edge. Ladies – talk about a power rush.  When I see my strong husband concentrating and struggling not to move or orgasm and knowing that I could easily send him over the edge with a little squeeze, it is quite an erotic rush.

After the first 30 – 60 seconds, he is usually off the edge but just slightly. This is when I like to give a little squeeze and it takes him back to the edge.  I will wait another 20 – 30 seconds and squeeze again. I often will do this for several minutes without ever letting go and it drives him wild. If I sense he is calming down a bit, I will squeeze lightly in a steady pulsating rhythm and that usually gets him back to the edge. Again, it’s quite an erotic power rush for me to keep him on the edge and watch him trying not cum with a simple squeeze of my fingers (even just applying added pressure with one or two of my fingers can keep him on edge in this state). Such fun for both of us!

I also use the hold technique as a show of power and control. I will hold his erection while I talk to him and give him instructions or feedback on his behavior.  His mind is reeling in pleasure as I talk and you can bet he is wishing and hoping that I will squeeze or stroke. It is hard for him to listen as I talk because I have such a hold on his mind. Not a good technique if you want him to really listen but it is powerful in giving him the feeling of being submissive to you and under your control. I will also lead him around the room or house using his cock as a leash. I will grab his erection and pull him forward and say, “let’s go” or push downward and order “kneel.” He is forced to follow my every move. When doing this I will purposely pull forward or down before ordering him to go/kneel so that I am moving him rather than him reacting to my command. I will purposely walk at an unsteady pace (slow down and speed up) and make sharp turns so that he constantly feels the tugging on his cock.  Since his cock is so firm, when I slow down, he is forced to slow down while also receiving pleasure at the same time due to the force. Sometimes I will let him do the moving but I will control it. For example, when he is kneeling next to the bed while I am lying on the bed, I will reach down and take hold of his cock and order him up onto the bed. In this example I am not leading him but since I am holding his cock, he is very restricted in how he can move. He is forced to stay within an arms length of me as he climbs over me and onto the bed. It is usually awkward for him but that is the point. I am controlling him with his sex organ and that is a very powerful show of authority over him. It is fun to “man handle him” around the room and into different positions by using his cock as a handle/leash without ever letting go. The feeling of having his cock constantly held puts him into a deep submissive state of mind. The submissive state of mind stays with him for days afterward, especially if I do not allow an orgasm.

For all the dominant wives reading this, I encourage you to give it a try.  Spend at least five minutes holding your husband’s erection without letting go and “man handle” him with it. Write back and let everyone know how it goes. I’m curious to see how many men can make it without cumming.

-Mz Kaylee


  1. Your post is terrific. You articulate things I have felt and seen but not been able to put into words. I feel like I am finally "getting" the idea of "subspace". I feel like my husband just sort of "blanks out" and becomes totally, totally oriented toward nothing but me. It is pretty wild actually. I love the sound of your technique and will definately give it a go.


  2. Hi Mz Kaylee. Wonderful description. I can easily be controled by manipulating my penis and my very strong sex drive. I think that for You Women (not only the Dominant ones) these things come naturally. My Wife treats my penis similarly except that She is not as patient as You with holding it still for long. I am teased to near cumming many times, and almost never allowed to ejaculate in the end. I am led around by my erection when we are alone (I am naked so She has easy access). The state of mind when She holds and steers me by my genitals is a mixture of love, devotion, submission, desire to please, obedience and gratitude. I know that She loves and owns me sexually and otherwise. However, when She's angry or annoyed with something I did (or didn't do as expected) She would sometimes grab hard and lead me by my balls or even just one testicle (or by twisting my ear). This is quite painful and truly humbling (but still weirdly erotic, I can get an erection from it unless She squeezes my balls too hard), especially with the lecturing that usually accompanies it. I always end up on my knees kissing Her feet appologizing and promissing to correct my ways. Not that She orders me to, but it feels natural to me to do it because She never abuses Her power, I am only treated like this when I screw up and deserve it. And I am trully sorry and ashamed to have dissappointed my Wife and Mistress. Do You ever do something similar to teach Your hubby a lesson when he misbehaves?

  3. A beautiful post. A lucky husband. A happy wife. A wonderful marriage resulting from your powerful insights into the sexual response (of many) men.

  4. Testicle squeezing/twisting helped me to learn to not speak w/o permission. For some reason that was hard for me to learn. I am thankful for Mistress. My only thought is to serve & please Her. I have come to fear Her discipline, to be sure, but disappointing Her with poor service almost hurts as much.


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