In a WLM there are a few benefits to having a pet name for your submissive husband. First, referring to your husband with a pet name on a regular basis is a constant reminder of his position beneath you in the hierarchy of your relationship. When you have a pet in the house, the pet is at the bottom of the hierarchy. You are the owner of the pet and the pet is trained to be obedient and follow commands. Assigning a pet name to your husband, has this same connotation. Of course you need to make sure the name you choose appropriately conveys his inferior position. Some examples:
- Pet, Puppy, Dog, Kitty, Kitty-cat
- Slave, Slave-Boy, Puppet
- Girl, Princess, Sissy, Baby-doll
- Cutie, Cute Boy, Angel, Precious
Another benefit of a pet name is that using it helps put your husband into submissive mode. When I say, "slave bring me a cup of coffee," it creates and instant response from Thomas and also creates an emotional reaction in him that surfaces his submissive feelings. It is a different feeling than if I were to just ask him to get me a cup of coffee. Some names have a stronger impact than others. When I refer to Thomas as 'slave,' it most definitely conveys a message that his is beneath me and must obey. 'Slave boy' has an even stronger impact because the term 'boy' implies that he is my child and not a mature adult. Likewise, in the examples above, 'Sissy' is a much stronger word than girl. Calling a guy a girl suggests that he has feminine qualities, which may be embarrassing for a guy but as us women know, feminine qualities are a good thing and are good for guys to have. Guys with feminine traits are more accepted in today's world. On the other hand 'Sissy' implies weakness an inferiority and it is very humiliating and demeaning for a guy to be called a sissy. A wife who calls her husband a sissy will generate feelings of strong submissiveness and humiliation in her husband. I personally do not think names with strong negative connotations should be used on a regular basis. However, they can be very effective when role playing for fun or for punishment. For example, as part of Thomas's corner time punishment, I could make him wear panties with the word Sissy embroidered on them and I could make him write a letter of an apology to me and sign it at sissy Thomas. Having him wear the sissy panties under his clothes at work would be another form of punishment. I've seen sissy panties for sale on Etsy that are super silky and frilly and definitely not something a woman would wear. They would make for a good punishment.
There are several terms that can be added to the pet names to make them even more inferior names. Examples include, 'little,', 'baby,' and 'boy.' You could refer to your husband as little boy, little Johnny, baby girl, little pup, or slave baby. Pet names can also be attached to a fetish. If your guy has a foot fetish, you could call him foot boy or toe licker. I think it's fun to use initials. You could call him WFF for "weak for my feet." If your guy is into small penis humiliation, you could use names like peewee or baby boy or just use the word little in front of his name. Do not underestimate the power of these words. It is amazing the effect they can have on a submissive guy when used over and over again. I notice with my husband, simply saying good boy or good girl, put him in a submissive and obedient mood. It's like a switch flips in his mind when I reward him with a 'good boy' and he wants to listen and obey me even more. Sounds crazy but believe me, the effect is real. Give it a try.
I recommend having multiple names that can be used in different situations. 'Slave' and 'Slave Boy' are the pet names I use on a regular basis. In fact, when he give me cards, writes me letters, and sends me texts he is required to sign them as either slave or slave boy. If there is a chance that the message can be seen (e.g. texting), he will use the initials SB. In addition to those names, I will often refer to him as 'girl' when he is acting silly or in a girlish way. I may refer to him as girl or princess when we are in the bedroom because I usually have him in panties. Most definitely when we are shopping for panties, I play the girl card. Other names I call him are 'pet' and 'toy' or 'boy toy'. I use pet when we are role-playing. 'Toy' and 'Boy-toy' are names I use when I want to be pleasured by him but don't want any of his drama and am not in the mood to play with him. He is a toy that exists to pleasure me. I may also come up with a name on the fly that I use just once or twice. Once when he was worshiping my ass with my tongue, I teased that he was a good ass kisser and brown noser. The next day when I saw him, I said, "there's my little brown noser," I know it sent his mind in a tizzy thinking about what he did the night before.
Creating an Alternate Personality
A powerful technique for tapping into his submission and exerting your power over him is to create an alternate personality that is associated with the a pet name. Often times this happens without you realizing it because pet names tend to be used regularly under the same situations so the husband becomes conditioned to react a certain way when the pet name is used. It is even more powerful (and fun) to formally create the alternate personality. You do this through role playing and establishing specific behavior expectations when the name is used. For a traditional couple, this role-play is just fantasy fun. The great thing for the WLM couple is that as you role-play it over and over again, it transitions into that blended fantasy-reality world and it can lead to some fun, intense, mind blowing moments for the couple. In the WLM, the pet name can become a trigger that instantly surfaces the alternate personality.
This is a very powerful technique for the wife to use to break down barriers and push limits with her husband. The reason it is so powerful is that it is easy for a guy to let go of his inhibitions and forget about societal preconceptions when he is given permission to take on an alternate personality. It is similar to someone who puts on a mask or costume at a Halloween party or someone who takes on a role in a play. A person hiding behind a mask often feels more at liberty to do silly things and take on the personality of the mask. An actor in a play who embraces the role, has no issue being over dramatic and playing out the character role because he/she is expected to act that way. The same is true when you train your husband to take on a new personality. Once he drops into that tole, you will be amazed how what you can get him to do.
The fist time you give it a try it may seem silly but the more you play with it, the less silly it becomes and it turns into exciting and arousing fun. It is a lot of fun creating the alternate personality and it is also fun to resurface the personality whenever you want. Below are some specific examples:
Toy
As your toy, train him to be still and not move and not speak unless given permission. He pleases you only the way you order him to. As a toy, his pleasure does not matter. He is not permitted to cum as a toy and should not expect it. He exists solely to pleasure you. It is easy to train this personality. Simply have him lie on the bed, sit on top of him and say, "Tonight you are my toy. I am going to use you for my pleasure. You are not to move or speak and you will not orgasm." If you are in a more playful mood, you can drag it out a bit and tease his cock while you go over the rules. Then once all the rules are established go to work and use him for your pleasure. Be very direct in what you want him to do. If he does something without your permission, reprimand him immediately. For example if you are on top of him riding his cock and he starts to thrust, immediately command, "no thrusting toy!" Sometimes I like to add a physical reinforcement when I reprimand him such as pinching his nipples or punching him (my punches do not hurt him. It's more for effect). During the whole episode, refer to him as 'toy' as much as possible. When you are done you could say things like, 'thank you toy,' or 'I am done with you toy, calm yourself down.'
Remember, that the ultimate goal you are trying to accomplish is to create a personality and not just a one time fantasy play. You can do this simply by repeating the above episode over and over again and eventually he is conditioned to be your toy. You could also be more direct and let him know that going forward whenever you refer to him as toy, you expect that he behaves exactly as you trained him. The benefit to the personality is that you don't have to explain things every time. If you are in the mood to be pleasured and not wanting to deal with his neediness, you just say, 'toy, meet me in the bedroom,' and he will know what to do. "wham-bam, thank you toy!"
Feminization
Creating an alternate female personality for your husband can be exciting. This is one that I like because there are so many facets to feminization that you can explore with your husband and you can explore just a little bit or go as deep as you want. The femme personality is also a great way to offset the macho male personality. If he is starting to act up and go back to bad habits, simply bring out the little girl in him and suddenly he is under your thumb and ready to obey. I do find that my husband is more focused on me and in good behavior when he is in panties. Building a female persona can be a great mind game for your husband and it is something that you can continually evolve over time.
It's best to build the personality when he is fully aroused and while you tease his cock. This reduces his resistance, makes it exciting for him, and links his pleasure to the feminization. Give him a female name. This is the mask that he can hide behind. Suppose you call him Tammy. You can tell him that you want Tammy to come out and play and that when Tammy is out, he needs to shed all his masculine habits and become more soft. This simple reframing from his male name to a female name allows him to step into the female role without guilt. When he is Tammy he is free to be feminine and when you are done with Tammy, he can go back to his boring old self and forget about Tammy.
I've used this a few times just to have a fun weekend. I'll say something like, I want this to be girls weekend. It's time to put Thomas away for awhile and bring out Tammy to play or I might say, I want to bring out the little girl in you this weekend.. Thomas gets excited by this and immediately drops into a docile and submissive frame of mind. He knows that the weekend will be filled with him wearing frilly and lacy lingerie. I will also bring out the female personality if his bad male habits begin to show. On occasion he will talk to me with a bit of attitude, which is never acceptable to me. I may tell him that his bad male side is starting to show and so I don't want to talk to Thomas and that I want Tammy instead. By the time I am done with Tammy, his attitude is completely changed and he emerges from being an obedient girl to a completely obedient boy.
Those are just a few examples. There are many other personalities you can develop such as a kitten, puppy, baby, or a slut. Make sure you keep it all in good fun. The techniques above are intended to spice up the relationship and are not a necessity of a WLM. I would love to hear what pet names you all use and if you have role played any personalities.
-Mz Kaylee
Creating an Alternate Personality
A powerful technique for tapping into his submission and exerting your power over him is to create an alternate personality that is associated with the a pet name. Often times this happens without you realizing it because pet names tend to be used regularly under the same situations so the husband becomes conditioned to react a certain way when the pet name is used. It is even more powerful (and fun) to formally create the alternate personality. You do this through role playing and establishing specific behavior expectations when the name is used. For a traditional couple, this role-play is just fantasy fun. The great thing for the WLM couple is that as you role-play it over and over again, it transitions into that blended fantasy-reality world and it can lead to some fun, intense, mind blowing moments for the couple. In the WLM, the pet name can become a trigger that instantly surfaces the alternate personality.
This is a very powerful technique for the wife to use to break down barriers and push limits with her husband. The reason it is so powerful is that it is easy for a guy to let go of his inhibitions and forget about societal preconceptions when he is given permission to take on an alternate personality. It is similar to someone who puts on a mask or costume at a Halloween party or someone who takes on a role in a play. A person hiding behind a mask often feels more at liberty to do silly things and take on the personality of the mask. An actor in a play who embraces the role, has no issue being over dramatic and playing out the character role because he/she is expected to act that way. The same is true when you train your husband to take on a new personality. Once he drops into that tole, you will be amazed how what you can get him to do.
The fist time you give it a try it may seem silly but the more you play with it, the less silly it becomes and it turns into exciting and arousing fun. It is a lot of fun creating the alternate personality and it is also fun to resurface the personality whenever you want. Below are some specific examples:
Toy
As your toy, train him to be still and not move and not speak unless given permission. He pleases you only the way you order him to. As a toy, his pleasure does not matter. He is not permitted to cum as a toy and should not expect it. He exists solely to pleasure you. It is easy to train this personality. Simply have him lie on the bed, sit on top of him and say, "Tonight you are my toy. I am going to use you for my pleasure. You are not to move or speak and you will not orgasm." If you are in a more playful mood, you can drag it out a bit and tease his cock while you go over the rules. Then once all the rules are established go to work and use him for your pleasure. Be very direct in what you want him to do. If he does something without your permission, reprimand him immediately. For example if you are on top of him riding his cock and he starts to thrust, immediately command, "no thrusting toy!" Sometimes I like to add a physical reinforcement when I reprimand him such as pinching his nipples or punching him (my punches do not hurt him. It's more for effect). During the whole episode, refer to him as 'toy' as much as possible. When you are done you could say things like, 'thank you toy,' or 'I am done with you toy, calm yourself down.'
Remember, that the ultimate goal you are trying to accomplish is to create a personality and not just a one time fantasy play. You can do this simply by repeating the above episode over and over again and eventually he is conditioned to be your toy. You could also be more direct and let him know that going forward whenever you refer to him as toy, you expect that he behaves exactly as you trained him. The benefit to the personality is that you don't have to explain things every time. If you are in the mood to be pleasured and not wanting to deal with his neediness, you just say, 'toy, meet me in the bedroom,' and he will know what to do. "wham-bam, thank you toy!"
Feminization
Creating an alternate female personality for your husband can be exciting. This is one that I like because there are so many facets to feminization that you can explore with your husband and you can explore just a little bit or go as deep as you want. The femme personality is also a great way to offset the macho male personality. If he is starting to act up and go back to bad habits, simply bring out the little girl in him and suddenly he is under your thumb and ready to obey. I do find that my husband is more focused on me and in good behavior when he is in panties. Building a female persona can be a great mind game for your husband and it is something that you can continually evolve over time.
It's best to build the personality when he is fully aroused and while you tease his cock. This reduces his resistance, makes it exciting for him, and links his pleasure to the feminization. Give him a female name. This is the mask that he can hide behind. Suppose you call him Tammy. You can tell him that you want Tammy to come out and play and that when Tammy is out, he needs to shed all his masculine habits and become more soft. This simple reframing from his male name to a female name allows him to step into the female role without guilt. When he is Tammy he is free to be feminine and when you are done with Tammy, he can go back to his boring old self and forget about Tammy.
I've used this a few times just to have a fun weekend. I'll say something like, I want this to be girls weekend. It's time to put Thomas away for awhile and bring out Tammy to play or I might say, I want to bring out the little girl in you this weekend.. Thomas gets excited by this and immediately drops into a docile and submissive frame of mind. He knows that the weekend will be filled with him wearing frilly and lacy lingerie. I will also bring out the female personality if his bad male habits begin to show. On occasion he will talk to me with a bit of attitude, which is never acceptable to me. I may tell him that his bad male side is starting to show and so I don't want to talk to Thomas and that I want Tammy instead. By the time I am done with Tammy, his attitude is completely changed and he emerges from being an obedient girl to a completely obedient boy.
Those are just a few examples. There are many other personalities you can develop such as a kitten, puppy, baby, or a slut. Make sure you keep it all in good fun. The techniques above are intended to spice up the relationship and are not a necessity of a WLM. I would love to hear what pet names you all use and if you have role played any personalities.
-Mz Kaylee
My girlfriend does not have a pet name for me as such, she just calls me "boy". Like you say, this implies that a male is not a mature adult. One time she was talking about the male employees at the place where she works and she said: "The boys are often untidy and leave things lying about, as a woman I find that annoying."
ReplyDeleteunderpants
I would consider boy a pet name. I like it.
DeleteThanks for posting boy :)
Hello Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteHow does your slave refer to you in private / public?
subby
Goddess in private. By my name in public.
DeleteMs. Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is absolutely the best regarding FLR!
Thank you.
Walt
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThe only pet name my Wife uses is "slave". Never in public or when others are present, but frequently when we are alone and She wants to make remind me of my place. If She gives me an order and I don't respond appropriately (not obeying without questions is enough), She usually walks me through an exchange like this:
ReplyDeleteShe: who's the Boss/Mistress around here?
me: you are, dear.
She: and who am I?
me: My Mistress, Mistress.
She: and who are you?
me:I am your slave, Mistress.
She: and what do you do as my slave?
me: I obey you, Mistress, thank you for dominating me. I am sorry I didn't obey.
She: and you better don't forget it...
Or something like this. It is a ritual of a kind, to make me explicitely voice my own and Her status has a humbling and arousing effect on me. It may finish with me kissing Her foot or ass and then I am off to do whatever I was ordered to do.
Another pet name is reserved for my sex organ. It used to be just "penis and balls" or "your manhood" (She never called it a "cock"), now it is exclusively referred to as "little dicklet" and "marbles" while other men's dicks are still "penises".
Your knowledge and wisdom are remarkable. You continue to put to words things I have "dabbled with" but not truly had an understanding of. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteAdding on to my earlier and too brief thought. I have completely engaged this idea but without really understanding what I was doing or the full power of it. I love that you are writing about it and so appreciate your putting into words (again) things that I have experienced but not had names for or felt knowledgeable of. I have called my husband a variety of things and I guess somewhat by experience come to understand the power of simple words. I have often called him things like "sweetie", "precious", and "doll" which seem to have a lot of power over him and assert my dominance when I employ them. Stronger words I have used have been "kitten", "little guy", "little fella", "little girl", and "sissy". I think there have been others but those are my more common ones. I don't totally get the power of them but see it. I guess a lot of it has to do with "saying" by the simple word - we are not "equal" and/or you are not a "strong" or "dominant" or totally "male" fellow. All of those things seem to serve to put me in charge - something I think he likes.
ReplyDeleteJ - Nice pet names. I got a chuckle out of 'little fella.' That's great! I also think kitten is fun because it implies both a pet and feminine - at least to me, I always think kittens are more feminine acting than male.
ReplyDeletePowerful and well written Mz Kaylee. It is amazing how much the simplest things can become so powerful in a Dom/sub relationship. If anyone has been called names in school they can attest to how hurtful a derogatory name can be. Name calling is, I believe, a necessary tool in the Dominants tool box...a little wrench that can be broken out anytime and anywhere that can be used to effectively tweak the psych just a little bit.
ReplyDeleteMy only disagreement however would be in expressing gratitude to your toy; I have never thanked a toy when I was done with it, I simply put it away.
Thank you for your wonderful blog Mz Kaylee.
I tailor pet names to his status at any point of time, although he always remains my subordinate.
ReplyDeleteThe common ones are Priscilla, when he is dressed as a girl and made to serve me when my friends visit.
When I wish to humiliate or belittle him,I call him cocky or cockette, especially when I have my boyfriend stay overnight.
We occasionally gather with similar couples for a weekend. They all know his status as all the women have tamed their husband's.I often use him as my toilet slave and summon him with his pet name of poopy. He always blushes and lowers his head as he follows me to the toilet to do his job as my very personal toilet tongue; rather than use paper.
Tom, thanks for sharing your ritual. It seems like a fun and effective way for your wife to reprimand you and keep you in line. Little things like that are great for keeping the communication open in the marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKnightly Devotion, while names in school are hurtful I hope that is not your intention now and that you were just demonstrating their power. The submissive mind is a little twisted and so pet names to the submissive usually evoke arousal and push them deeper into submission. My intention with pet names is to create a wonderful and playful dynamic or tap into his desire for humiliation. I do not believe it is healthy to be hurtful towards a submissive. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I would to hear more on your view on this.
ReplyDeleteMz Kaylee,
DeleteI was trying to point out just how powerful names can be.
When used in a loving, trusting power exchange names can be used, as you so eloquently stated, to evoke a sudden change in mood. I know I can go from a strong confident man to submissive puddle simply by being called bitch; it is like a valve that floods my veins with with a heady dose of submission. I believe pet names are imperative instruments in a Dominant's orchestra and should be used along with whips, commands, bondage, discipline, service, dress, dichotomy, chores, and on and on to create your own symphony.
Thank you once again for you wonderful blog Mz Kaylee.
Well said. Thanks for expanding on this thought.
Delete"My intention with pet names is to create a wonderful and playful dynamic or tap into his desire for humiliation. I do not believe it is healthy to be hurtful towards a submissive."
ReplyDeleteI agree, I do not think hurtful pet names should be used. One time when I made a sassy remark to my girlfriend while we were out, she gave me a few swats on the seat of my jeans and said: "Naughty boy! When we get home I'm going to put you across my knee and spank your bare bottom!"
I did not find that at all hurtful, quite the contrary!
underpants
Boy toy
ReplyDeleteTrophy boy
Man slut
He-whore
Anything that conveys Female conquest and male objectification
I think the best "pet names" are those who carry with them a role.
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean by that is that they are part of this new "role reversal" or "submissive role" and that's what they are there for.
I wonder if you agree. I guess I got that idea from the Femdom101 blog that is now talking about "role models" and it got me thinking of that.
Who else is into what Femdom101 is talking about now? I feel these two subjects are very connected.
A former mistress combined a pet name and a role change.
ReplyDeleteMy real name is Richard. When she addresses me as "Rikki", I must answer "Yes, Mistress" (or "thank you, Mistress", "please, Mistress", etc.) as appropriate and immediately switch into "slave" mode.
She may do this in private or in public. Regardless of who may be within earshot.
It is an awesome mindfuck for her to have the power to make me display my submission by just using one word.
Time for a post about role reversal
ReplyDeleteGigi - I like your suggestion of using pet names that fit a role. That sounds powerful and also fun. The chosen name can set the mood for the day.
ReplyDeletei had the fortune of being initiated young by a professional Domina and Her sister. One of the first things They made was to break me into feminization and gave me my 'pet' name: khorina. In our first meetings, She went into detailed characteristics of khorina: it was similar to a kitty (She loved cats) but less as it's a slave, and it as a muted "h" to indicate that it needs to be silent/obedient. After a couple of years and Them moving into another country, we had a disagreement online so i called Her without using Her "Goddess" name as She wasn't my dominant anymore; She replied "I'm not your domina BUT for you I will always be Goddess and you will always be khorina". That pet name (and all it brings) was tatooed in me since then. She was SO right!
ReplyDelete