What has been working well for me is to review his behavior on a weekly basis and if there are things that require improvement, he is sent to kneel in the corner naked or in panties for a specified period of time. The amount of time depends on how many things require improvement and how bad the behavior was. I will usually lay in bed and read while he kneels quietly in the corner. This weekly routine makes it easy for me to provide feedback to him on his performance. I find that I am giving more feedback than what I previously was doing, which has helped him keep up with his chores and do them the way I expect. In addition to incorporating corner time into our weekly routine on occasion, if he does something really bad (like talk to me with an attitude), I will send him to the corner right away and not wait for the weekly routine. Fortunately I've only had to do this a few times.
I actually enjoy seeing him kneeling in the corner for me and I can tell it has an effect on him. It puts him into submissive mode. Something that many couples do is have maintenance spankings where the husband is spanked regularly as a form of discipline and to keep him focused on serving his wife and to reinforce his submission to her. I have done those in the past but spanking is just not something I stuck with on a regular basis. However, I am finding that corner time is much easier to do on a regular basis (well easier for me :) ). Therefore, I recently began incorporating "maintenance corner time" into our weekly routine. This means that each week he will be sent to the corner. If he has been good, it will be 5 - 10 minutes for him to meditate and get his mind into submissive mode for me. If he requires discipline or punishment then it will be 15 or more minutes of corner time. In talking to Thomas, I've figured out that 10 minutes is pretty easy and not much of a punishment, which is why punishment or discipline will always be at least 15 minutes.
I started the maintenance corner time a few weeks ago and it has been working out good. It keeps him in a good submissive space and helps him stay focused on doing his chores the right way.
-Mz Kaylee
Corner time is for me the worse part of the punishment. My wife does give a very sound spanking, but I must face the "corner" either in the front room or the kitchen. I'm normally bare from the waist down, to display her work, if been really bad, naked. I have been seen by a couple of her close friends, and seen several times by my mother-in-law. Comments, been a naughty little boy, very nice red bottom. Recently she has added to this punishment. I have had to wear little boy pajamas, bottoms pulled down, or have them laying on the floor beside me. Act like a naughty little boy, get treated as one. The pajamas when asked she saids that I will be going to bed early and reminds her that she is not only the wife but the Mommie. Jack
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I am always fascinated by those that make some of the more intimate parts of the WLM open with friends and family. Our friends and family notice the dynamic with us but they have no clue how deep it goes. Are there other aspects of your WLM that your family or friends see? I like how your wife makes the punishment fit the crime with the pajamas.
DeleteMy family lives across county and so my mother-in-law is well aware. She is divorced, not interested in marriage and so spends more time with her daughter, my wife. A couple close girlfriends of my wife know. Really what you get down to it I married her because she is a strong woman and would take charge. She understands me more than I do the reason for the pajamas, needed to insure I knew she was in charge and that I was the naughty child. My mother-in-law has witness a few spankings and once again learned having all on display means nothing to the female, it is the adult male being spanked that they enjoy. Facing the wall wearing pajamas with the bottoms down and seen by her friends or my mother-in-law I hear first off been a naughty little boy and I respond yes, then they say did your wife spank you, no I say, Mommie spanked me, my wife will then say, enough talking young man, I just say Yes mommie and stop talking. The arrangement works, my wife has taken it a few step further, but I accept. Deep down I need her to be in charge. The spankings truly do hurt, the pajamas I hate most of all. There have been a few times I have been given a spanking in the morning and had to wear the jammies the rest of the day and then put to bed early, after being given a bath and another spanking to remind me why I'm going to bed early. What works for me may not be what others want, but we all are different. Jack
DeleteHi Kaylee - Very good post. I love your bootcamp and my husband I will be doing it soon. But I especially like that you also keep it real. My husband does quite a bit of corner time. At first he indicated that he was turned on by it, so I had to make it a bit more aversive for him. Now a minimum corner time is an hour, and once when he was particularly disrespectful he spent 90 minutes in his corner -- no talking, minimal movement, just him and his thoughts. I never tell him how long I will keep him in his corner. Not knowing increases his anxiety about when he will be released. This is something we do privately, between me and him -- no one has ever seen him in his corner except for me. And, like you, I enjoy seeing him standing there just thinking about his behavior and how he intends to improve as a husband and my personal slave. I have also combined his corner time with additional chores, so as soon as I release him, he is off to doing more cleaning, ironing, and whatever housework I don't want to do. The problem is we have reached a point where he pretty much does all the housework, so I am going to have to think of additional follow ups to corner time. Thank you again for a great and realistic blog.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Diane
Great ideas on corner time Diane. I may have to try the one where he has no idea how long he is in the corner. Well, I certainly don't think it's a problem at all that your husband does all the chores (*smiles*). You've got him trained well. On occasion I will add a punishment onto corner time. Recently I did not allow him to go out on his "guy night" as an extended punishment. I may also make him wear his punishment panties for a few days afterwards. Thanks for sharing your real experiences. I always enjoy hearing what works or does not work for others.
DeleteSince my Wife doesn't usually use corner time with me, my experience with this is limited. But I don't doubt that it is effective and I think it is a great tool because it requires zero effort from the Dom yet it can be tailored into a very intense and humbling experience for the sub in various way.
ReplyDeleteIn my case I sometimes have to wear a butt plug for much longer periods than what I find arousing or comfortable. As with corner time, no effort for my Wife (I even have to put it in myself while She's watching) and very intense for me. An hour or so is mostly arousing and fun. But more than that is for punishment. Within an hour or two it becomes an annoying and costant reminder of my position. And after several hours it becomes a real "pain in the ass". I can hardly wait for my Wife to announce that my punishment is over and I am grateful when She does. She doesn't tell me how long it will take, in the past I had to wear it to work, to visit my parents-in-law, etc...
There are a few things that I think make this punishment an effective one. First, the plug is most definitely a physical reminder of your submission to your wife. It is not something you can ignore or forget about while you are wearing. Things like that reinforce your submission and refocus your mind on your wife so that the punishment is not only a deterrent to bad behavior, but it also mentally conditions you to be a better submissive. Second, I like that it starts off arousing and then transitions to a punishment. Arousal with punishment used to bother me but I've learned that no matter the punishment, most guys will experience some arousal just from experiencing the sudden extreme control and authority that their wife is exercising over them. It's just the way your brains are wired. It's actually quite amusing to me. I also think the arousal makes it easier for you to accept the punishment without getting angry. The beauty of it is you accept it, then eventually the arousal fades and it becomes unpleasant and that is the true punishment. When I make my husband wear the same pair of punishment panties every day for two or more week straight, he can not wait to get back into normal panties because they are uncomfortable and he has to hand wash them every night. It keeps him on his best behavior.
DeleteYou're right Mz Kaylee, that's precisely how I feel it. Ultimately it is the experience of the total control of our Female partners over us that arouses us. And this can be achieved in many different ways. Buttplugs and forced penetration, spanking, masturbation, nipple play etc. - all these and many other things turn me on, I enjoy them very much. But they can all be turned into severe punishment. It is incredibly humbling (humiliating) when my Wife turns my own kinks (or whatever I like in sex) into a method of punishment.
DeleteFive years ago when She started to train me to drop masturbation She forced me to masturbate 10-15 times a day whenever I broke my promise (She then switched to ignoring me sexually for several weeks and to date this is the cruelest punishment for me). From number 3 on I couldn't even get hard anymore, yet I had to stroke my little sore limp dick for a long time. In between these forced masturbations She demanded that I fuck Her. Of course I couldn't and She rubbed my nose in it. I was so humiliated. I ended up with painfully bruised and red dick. It was uselss for days. And that was the first time when I realised that She had a point in demanding that I stop jerking off. I had to choose between my hand and Her pussy and after some struggle for my "right" to masturbate I did. And our intimacy and relationship improved. I learned to focus my over the top sex drive on satisfying Her (not just in sex) in various ways and the rest is history. I still have urges to masturbate, but for most part I behave and no longer do it. My penis and orgasms belong to my Wife.
We are in the beginning phases of a WLM how does it grow to this stage where she actually punishes for bad work or behavior . Sometimes I feel like we are progressing and other times I feel like we are going nowhere . Sometimes she shows promising dominance other times she seems to think i am just silly and only lets me do things for her to kinda appease me .
ReplyDeleteWhat you are experiencing is normal. Developing a WLM is a journey with lots of ups and downs and steps forward and backward. For most women, it is not second nature to them and they have to change their thinking, which is based on a lifetime of learning and habits. That is not an easy change to do. Be patient but also gently persistent with giving your wife feedback and suggestions. Share posts from my blog and other blogs with her. Sell her on the benefits to her of taking control of you. Have understanding that things won't always click right away. It truly is a journey. It may take many years to get to where you want to be so don't lose hope and make sure you enjoy the smaller wins on the way.
DeleteYou boys are silly but I love it. I still do things at times to appease my husband's silly desires because it keeps him from becoming too annoying but also because I love him and enjoy making his day every now and then.
Scampi,
DeleteMz Kaylee is of course spot on.
I would just add that you must also be prepared to accept that you may never get some things that you want because your Wife may never be comfortable with some of your kinks. Be grateful (and show it in words and deeds!!!) for what She can give you now and encourage Her on the journey. Make the journey worthwhile for HER.
A very good answer, Mz Kaylee! I think that taking the leading role and administering discipline is definitely not second nature for most women. I suspect that women often start doing it simply to appease their partner's desires and only later find that they actually enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I like your statement "You boys are silly but I love it." Yes, exactly! Ladies, you should not take us too seriously! We are just silly boys and we often deserve to have our bottoms smacked or be punished in some other humiliating way.
underpants
Because the willingness and enthusiasm of any wife to participate in "silly sex stuff" will vary so wildly from day to day and week to week, I think it's important to have a set of maintenance behaviors that are low-effort -- rituals and procedures that almost run themselves without needing a lot of active thought or preparation. If what makes your relationship special and distinctive takes lots of work, then eventually it will be lost due to being too much work. It's a little like the difference between getting exercise in a mandatory daily routine (taking the dog for a walk) vs getting exercise in some complicated and artificial way (driving 10 miles to a special workout gym). The former is going to be durable in a way the latter is not.
ReplyDeleteA number of "wearable" ideas, like the plug story above, fall into the maintenance category. They require almost no thought or effort from the wife, so they work well even when she's totally disinterested in exerting any effort on whatever nonsense her husband is currently thinking about! My wife talks about how she completely forgets that I'm wearing a chastity cage for weeks at a time. It's just not important to her at all. But I certainly don't forget! Low effort and easy to ignore for her, when she's not in the mood to be teasing or dominant. But a constant reminder for me that I'm not off duty, just because she is.
Yes, routine rules and requirements are good to incorporate into the WLM. Great insights evanho.
Delete"If what makes your relationship special and distinctive takes lots of work, then eventually it will be lost due to being too much work." I agree. I find some very low-effort activities arousing, for example, when I do something my girlfriend doesn't like and she at once give me a few firm swats on my bottom.
ReplyDeleteunderpants
My wife Mistress Linda has been using corner time for a while now. We both think it is effective. Lately she has taken to inserting a bar of soap into my mouth. Standing nude in the corner trying not to swallow or drool will keep you thinking what you have done to deserve thgis.
ReplyDeleteThe bar of soap- one of the classic punishments that's still effective. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteCould I ask you a question, Mz Kaylee? You say you sometimes make your husband wear panties. Is this for your pleasure or his? My girlfriend likes me to wear tight fitting male briefs but she has never made me wear women's underwear. I have no special fetish for panties but I would of course wear them if she insisted.
ReplyDeleteunderpants
Initially I did it for him because he got a thrill from being "forced" to wear panties. Over time I discovered that he is a little more obedient when in panties. They are a physical reminder of his obedience to me and for whatever reason, he is more submissive when wearing them. I like the effect they have on him so I make him wear them all the time now. It's better that way.
DeletePanties do bring out that submissive feeling! My male ego doesn't stand a chance agaisnt the allure of pretty panties. I love panties!Thank you!
DeleteThanks for the prompt answer, Mz Kaylee! I see what you mean, it is a constant physical reminder of his obedience and an easy way for you to keep him submissive.
ReplyDeleteunderpants
I get corner time at her whim. It's usually a thing that she does for her enjoyment rather than punishment (for punishment I get paddled with the same paddle she use to get paddled with a few years ago and I HATE HATE HATE it!). I am usually made to stand on my tippy toes for about 20 minutes and recite a prayer I wrote to her. My legs are always sore after and I feel very much supplicant and put in my place after. It is usually followed by me either being held at her breasts and petted on my head being told I am a good a g9d and obedient boy or I am allowed to rub her feet and actually suck her toes which is huge reward for me since I rub them daily and while I can kiss I can't suck them... torture!
ReplyDeleteSo while I don't like the corner time itself at all I do know I (usually) get a reward for pleasing and amusing her.