Guest Post: "Accept-Become-Enjoy" by Khorina

I thought I'd share the "method" I use that has worked wonders for increasing my submission: "Accept-Become-Enjoy". It is based on something I saw years ago, "BEST Slave Training", but I removed the "kinky" parts as they don't apply to my Queen.

Nothing complicated: "Accept" is about identity, about rebuilding the sub's identity as a sub to deeply accept submission at his core; "Become" is about really becoming useful for Her, excelling in the tasks She expects; "Enjoy" is about enjoying service as the reward, truly NOT waiting for anything else.

The key to me is "accept". In my mind, subs that do this for sexual pleasure are still being self-centered & sooner or later that shows. For me this has been the most difficult part, I "desired" to accept but deep inside myself I was still "me". True submission implies a rebuilding of one's identity, as scary as it sounds. But in a trust relationship, this is not difficult, as the other person loves and cares. For us, the issue was religion. Queen is very religious, and I thought I was "neutral' but really deeply thought religion was lies. I went through some cycles of submission but true submission was about rebuilding my identity as a sub and accepting religion as a fundamental part of myself.

Fortunately, religion has ways to facilitate this conversion, this deep identity change. I still see myself "trying" from the beginning, going to conversion retreats but the "old me" just stopping real change. I fantasized about conversion, yet once I was in the perfect environment to "break" my old self (one very appealing to subs, by the way) I would close myself. But I did notice some progress, at least in submission: I did wanted to convert for Her. Through enough cycles and fighting my tendency to close, years ago I started to become a new person that accepted Her authority in all aspects of life, including religion. Yesterday was such a beautiful example of the "accept-become-enjoy": we had a very spiritually intimate night of worship, and I could be of service by doing all the tasks/chores to free ourselves to do it. Queen & myself enjoying each second of it. My reward was to enjoy the activity itself from my very inside, something beautiful. No expectancy of sex, kissing or worship of Queen as rewards. We, as desired by Queen, are going through an abstinence time; with pregnancy not being an option & having experienced the limitations of natural planning, no sex forever is very possible. That enjoyment goes to worship, to service, to friendships that Queen appreciates. Yes, i deeply renounced to "serve Karen" or people that I found dominantly attractive, my enjoyment being only in worship, service and appropriate friendships. 

"Become" is of course really important too: submission shows in tasks. This morning I had a lovely exchange of messages with a friend of my Queen. I also did my chores & have been working, but made room to go the extra mile and grab notes from a video that my Queen enjoyed. One of my goals is to perfect every day my service to Queen. Being useful is as fundamental to me as being obedient. "Become" is a never ending task, there is always room for becoming better.

So I've gone through these cycles for years, and it has been very effective. The latest cycles have been more about "become-enjoy" given that the acceptance part is very established. Emotions-Self Image & Thoughts aligned in an identity. In our case, it's God on top, Queen and then me: just as Queen wouldn't think of offending God, I wouldn't think of offending Her. 

I wish others knew of the richness of letting Women lead. I think I was conditioned the other way but I'm really thankful for my Queen and my path to become Hers.

khorina