Taking Ownership of the Bedroom

In the comments section of the "Submissive Refresh" post there are several comments about bedroom control. Some of you have shared in the past that you/your husband have been required to sleep in a separate bedroom either permanently or on a temporarily basis. There are times where I have made Thomas sleep in the guest bedroom on a temporary basis because I need a good night's sleep or as a punishment. Usually it is just a day or two, and it has not lasted longer than a week. I do not want it to be a permanent thing because I do enjoy sharing the bed with him. He is my husband after all. However, I love the idea of making the master bedroom my bedroom. I've been thinking about the idea and am planning on making it happen.

There seems to be interest in this topic so I thought it would be fun for me to share my thoughts and ideas on what I am thinking about doing and get your input. If you've already done something like this, please share your experiences and ideas, If you have not done it, read along and share ideas on some of the questions I ask below.

Technically the bedroom is already is mine. When he confessed his submission to me, and agreed (or rather pleaded) to a formal WLM, he voluntary gave up his rights to ownership of these things, but there is a big difference in agreeing to it versus me taking action to deny his privileges. So what does taking ownership of the bedroom mean and why would I do it?

My idea of taking ownership of the bedroom is that the master bedroom is 100% mine to do with as I please and hubby is not permitted into the bedroom without my permission. It also means that none of his clothes and possession are permitted in the room. I will allow him to sleep in the bedroom but it is not a right for him. At anytime I may take away the right. I am usually in the bedroom before he is at night so I've thought about putting something on the door knob that would indicate whether or not he is permitted to enter. No permission means he must sleep in the guest bedroom. What do you think - any suggestions for what I can use? It would need to be something subtle as I would not want it to get the attention of guests that may be over or the kids when they are home.

Since he will not be permitted to have any of his possessions in my bedroom, one of the first tasks to be done is for him to move all of his items out of my room and into the guest bedroom. Now if you have a guest bedroom, and you are like us, the guest bedroom tends to get filled with junk. He will need to do some cleaning up and rearranging the guest bedroom in order to fit his items into the room. He may need to slim down his clothing collection. Slaves should not have a lot of clothes to choose from anyway, right?  I may need to give him some specific instructions on reducing his possessions to fit into the space. Any suggestions?

Next, there will be rearranging in my bedroom to accommodate my preferences and moving in of my extra clothes that are stored in other places. As a Goddess, I have quite a collection of clothes but unfortunately not the luxury of a large walk in closet so many of my clothes are stored in other closets. I am looking forward to being able to have all of my clothes together in my bedroom. Thomas will need to organize and hang or fold my clothes neatly according to my instructions. Once complete, he will be required to do a thorough cleaning of the room and will need to make every shred of his items are removed.

This will be the first stage of taking full ownership of the bedroom. To make it fun, I will require Thomas to wear a slave outfit while he is moving items in and out of the bedroom for me. I am thinking collar, cuffs and panties will do. I may add a butt plug because that always puts him in a deep submissive state for me. Once the first stage is complete, the master bedroom will be officially off limits to him except for sleeping, cleaning, chores, or when I give him permission to enter for other reasons. There will be three golden rules for my bedroom that he will have to obey:

1. He is not to enter my bedroom without my permission. Even for chores (vacuum, laundry, etc.) he must ask for permission to enter my bedroom. I love the irony of him asking permission to to clean my room, rather than me ordering him to do it.

2. He is never to be fully clothed in my bedroom. Clothes must be left at the door before entering unless he is already wearing a slave or chore outfit. Those outfits are acceptable attire in my bedroom. No exceptions to this rule. If I ask him to fetch something out of the room for me, he must strip, fetch the item, and dress again when he leaves. 

3. He is never to talk in my bedroom unless I ask him a direct question or give him permission to speak. When he is in my bedroom 100% of his focus will need to be on serving me and pampering me.

Phase II will be for me to redecorate the room according to my tastes. I may get a new bedspread, and add new pictures and decorations. Do you think I should have him shop with me for the items or should I just make all the changes and have him walk in one day to a completely new room? Which would be the bigger mind fuck?

There is one final piece of puzzle to this whole transition. I will make it clear to Thomas that the guest bedroom is to remain a guest bedroom. He is not to personalize it for himself and he is never to refer to it as his room. All his items must be out of site at all times. No shoes or clothes lying around, no bags on the floor, and no papers, receipts, or items of his are allowed on any surface in the room. Everything must be stored in a drawer, box, or closet at all times. If I see any visible signs of his items in the guest bedroom, he will be subject to punishment. This will surely make him feel even more submissive and controlled.

Why Would I do This?

Taking over the master bedroom is purely a fun power play. It is a fun way for me to exert my power and dominance over Thomas and to make him feel even more submissive and owned by me. This is what he craves and I know he will love it. It is a great way to spice things up for us and keep him obedient to me. Certainly I am also going to enjoy having the room all to myself, except for sleeping. It will be a nice peaceful haven that I can escape to and not be disturbed. The best part is that my room will still be cleaned by him, he will still wash and put away my clothes in my room, and my bed will still be made every day by him. These are all the amazing perks of being a Goddess Wife in a WLM.

What do you think? Let's hear some other ideas.

-Mz Kaylee

Thoughts and Etiquette on Commenting

I've been enjoying the discussions going on in the comments of the last few posts. It is great to see new people chiming in and it is fantastic to hear different view points and also to read about real experiences that reinforce the messaging in the post. I appreciate that most people are commenting in a respectful manner. There are a variety of approaches that can be used in a WLM and not every approach works for every one. The cuckolding post is a clear example where people have different opinions. It's ok to have different opinions and it is ok to disagree. I encourage those who disagree to continue the discussion to get a better understanding of the other person's viewpoint. We all learn from those types of discussions and perhaps pick up something new to try or become more open-minded and knowledgeable from the discussion.  Sometimes the discussions lead to a mutual understanding or that everyone was thinking the same thing but just did not express it properly in writing. Other times, you might have to agree to disagree because you really do have two different view points. There is no benefit to you going out of your way to try a prove someone wrong. When this type of agreement occurs, it it fine to acknowledge the disagreement and move on.

A few guidelines for commenting etiquette.

• Do not personally attack someone else because of their opinion or idea. This is a sure fire way to have your comment deleted by me.
• If you disagree with a comment, provide the reason why you disagree or what might be the better approach. 
• Please do not give a very strong opinion on a topic that you have zero experience with. There have been quite a few people in the past who have commented with strong opinions on WLM, but whom have never been married. I'm sorry to say, but if you have no experience on a topic your opinion has zero weight with me. Those who have experience on the topic can immediately see the flaws in such an opinion, so don't be that person that gives opinions on something you have no experience with. I am not saying that you can not comment, but your comments should be about trying to understand the topic, or asking questions, and getting clarifications.
• If you comment as Anonymous please provide some context about yourself:
• We want to know if you are a male, female, sissy, etc.  Make up a name that clearly identifies your gender. This also helps us to connect your comments together when you make multiple comments. If there are three anonymous comments, I don't know if it is three different people or all the same person. 
• Let us know if you are submissive or dominant and if you are in a relationship. Provide any relevant information about your situation that relates to your comment. It's hard to answer a question or respond to a comment when there is no context about why you are asking the question or making the comment. For example, a submissive male who disagrees with spanking is very different than a non-submissive male who disagrees with spanking.

I share all this information to encourage productive comments and discussions on this blog and to try to eliminate the bad habits. It's is a wonderful thing when the comments on a post become more enlightening than the post itself and I love that it happens many times on this blog. I have learned quite a bit from your comments and have picked up a few great idea from the comments. In my early years of WLM, I appreciated the people who shared their real life experiences and advice because it helped me distinguish between what was fantasy versus what was reality and practical, and it also reassured me that I was not alone in my challenges and concerns. Please continue to share your experiences and advice so that others may learn.

To sum it all up, it is most productive for everyone if comments are used to ask questions, gain understanding on the topic, share advice and experiences, and express educated opinions about the topic. Instead of looking for the negative, look for the positive and how you can advance the discussion.

-Mz Kaylee