Guest Posts: You are welcome and encouraged to submit guest posts on topics related to wife led marriage, female led relationships, and female domination in general. Please make sure your posts are thoughtfully written and spell checked before submitting. Posts can be sent to MzKaylee101@gmail.com. Include a Title with your post and how you want your name to appear.
Profile Page: I encourage you to complete a profile page, which is a Q&A template about you. Profile pages are in the margin on the right side of the blog. The template is at the top of the list. Simply fill it out and e-mail to MzKaylee101@gmail.com. I also suggest that you read the existing profiles. There is
a lot of great information and advice in the profiles.
Erotic stories are also located on the right side of the blog. Feel free to submit a story. I do not edit stories. They are published "as is" so make sure you edit and spell check before you send them. Send your stories to MzKaylee101@gmail.com/
Comments: Please comment on posts and share your thoughts and experiences. That's how we all learn. It is so important and helpful to hear other peoples experiences and opinions. If you have similar experiences to what has been posted, please share as it validates to others that FLR/WLM is real. On the flip side, I do not expect everyone to agree with me or what others post and I want to hear if you have different thoughts. I enjoy hearing different opinions and I often learn from them. I only require that everyone express their opinions and disagreements in a polite and courteous manner so that we can have meaningful discussions. I also encourage you to respond to other readers comments. It is fantastic when there are multiple dialogues going on in the comments section.
Enjoy!
-Mz Kaylee
Thank you for these kind reminders. May I please suggest that when you post new profiles, you put the date after the name, as you did withAJ and Edwin? It helps us learn who our new friends are. Thanks for all you do!
ReplyDeleteRobert, a submissive husband
I was doing some investigating of FLRs and had a question (hopefully it comes across as respectfully as possible). What happens in a FLR when one party revokes their consent to the FLR?
ReplyDeleteI could not find any resources about this. I was wondering does the relationship go back to the "pre FLR" state? or do they simply "break up"? For married couples, do they go back to the marriage they had "pre WLM"? or do they start the process of Divorce?
Thanks for any thoughtful help you can provide a person who is looking at FLRs and wants to make sure he is safe if he "wades into it".
Mick
This is hard to answer as there are so many variables that can affect what happens. Are you married or dating? Are you in a relationship now or looking? Is your partner interested or are you thinking about introducing the idea of FLR? If you can share some information about yourself, I can provide some advice for your situation.
DeleteMy girlfriend saw something about FLRs and wondered (since I am the more "techie" one) to find out more information about them. I have to admit I understand why she would want to find out more about them. Why wouldn't anyone want a relationship style where they are the primary focus.
DeleteNow comes my concern. I am scared "to death" about what happens to the man from several of the areas I have read. I am so afraid I could not see myself being able to subjugate myself to the things being done and required. That is what got me thinking about my question. I wanted to have this question answered for my sake before giving her the information I found on FLRs to date. I myself would never try even a mild form, if a FLR has not been known to be able to be successfully backed out (ie concent being revoked). I really want to know there is a safety net that won't crash and burn my current relationship.
I consider my current relationship to be quite "vanilla" in all ways.
Mick.
Mick,
ReplyDeleteThe most important word in the FLR acronym is Relationship. As with all great relationships, your safety net is a strong foundation of love, trust, and communication. Communicate your concerns to each other, build trust with each other until you both know that you can try this, and if needed, exit it, with love intact. That you have already waded into this discussion with your girlfriend gives you two the opportunity to strengthen your Relationship. Take it, and when and if you’re both sure about the outcome either way by, the decision will feel right. And then every day… Love, Trust, Communicate.
Steven
Steven's advice is spot on. I will add that there are many variations of how a FLR can be run. Since both of you are new to FLR, you are in a great position to shape the FLR in any way that you want. You do not have to do everything that you read about. In fact, I would suggest that you start of small, with doing just a few things that appeal to you or your girlfriend and see how it goes. You could even start it more as fantasy fun just to get your feet wet. Pick one or two weekends a month where she is in charge for the weekend and you have to obey her. When the weekend is over you go back to normal.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is very important. Talk about what you want out of it, what are hard limits that you will not do, and keep communicating throughout. However, do not be afraid to try new things or things that seem weird. One thing I've learned is that you you have to experience FLR to understand it. If you are thinking about it from a ;vanilla; perspective it does not makes sense. Vanilla logic does not apply to FLR. However, once you immerse yourself into being submissive and obeying you may find that you really enjoy it and you may discover a whole new side to yourself. If an experience does not work out just laugh about it and try something else. It's got to be fun for both you in order for it to be successful
As to whether or not you can back out of it - it depends on the individual and how deep you go into it. If you go into it together with an open mind, love, trust, and clear communication, then you are likely going create something beautiful that you will both enjoy.and will never reach a point where you need to out. There is always a risk that one person may become more obsessed with it than the other and will not be willing to back off. These seems like a low risk to me and no different than the other risks that a tpyical relationship encounters. For example, there is always a risk that your girlfriend is talking to another guy and decides she is going to date him instead of you. If your relationship is strong and you truly love each other, it is not going to happen. If it does happen, then it was probably meant to be.
I am closer to Mick's situation. My girlfriend suggested maybe trying one. I did not know they existed until she mentioned it to me. I told her I needed to find out more information about them. This was one of many sites I stumbled across. After reading some of the blog entries and comments (as well as other sites blogs and comments) as a man (and yes I have a shy side that is a major part of me) I am scared and afraid to even try and consider one. Just on some of the recent entries here it talks about removing the husband's free rights to the master bedroom, ouch. Another entry talked about what I called "extreme" male orgasm control and denial. I can not help myself on what I do in my sleep and I can't fathom having a device on my penis as I consider it a very private organ of mine. I am trying to find something positive for a man who is not into the d/s scene. I just have not stumbled on a blog that has entries about these "plain" FLRs to help make myself comfortable with the concept that I just recently found out about.
ReplyDeleteCharlie from the Great Lakes region in USA.
Contrary to what some people on here would have you believe, orgasm control is not a requirement of an FLR relationship. If you and your girlfriend don’t want orgasm control then who cares what anyone else says.
DeleteIt is extremely easy to think orgasm control is a requirement of FLR because during the time I have done my investigation that is all I have seen. I have not seen a women proudly say she has zero orgasm control over her husband/boyfriend. If there is a woman who is a leader who doesn't do male orgasm control, please respond that you do not do any!
DeleteThere is nothing plain about a FLR. If the idea of being at the mercy of a female does not excite you, then this lifestyle is probably not for you. Having said that you never know until you give it a try. As noted in my previous comment, you can start off doing it as fantasy play and see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteThank You for replying back to my comment. You gave me enough insight I can honestly tell my girlfriend I looked into the concept. I myself, even though I am shy, have plenty to say and feel strongly about in our private relationship I definitely would not feel comfortable turning over all/most of the important final decision making (currently both of us are involved in important decisions in our relationship). I don't mind constructive helpful comments about things that directly affect me, but I want to be involved in their final say. And that includes financials and bodily autonomy. So in short from what you said a FLR is not right for this guy and I believe I did my homework on finding about the concept.
DeleteCharlie
I myself had considered a FLR until I thought about it really hard and investigated it closer. In my thinking process I imagined what would happen if she insisted on all the rough treatment given to the other men (not that she would but you have to consider the remote possibility). After thinking about it and thinking about the potential of being nearly forced into a chastity cage (or other long term orgasm denial) and/or being given physical discipline for any little thing (or just because she felt like it) was a huge NO for me. This was even before I even thought about handing over all my finances and hard earned paycheck to her. I would hope we would think enough alike on important issues that we would not run into the "dictator" on final decisions, but I can now see where that could also become a potential issue. In short I did not want to become resentful of her because she was the leader and I was shut out from being a leader (by rule of my gender in a FLR). I enjoy doing things for her without a FLR and I would not want to start hating to do things for her because "I have to".
DeleteFLR requires a great deal of trust. If you do not trust your partner than it is not the path for you. And that's ok. If I was in a new relationship, I would be very cautious. There is also a big difference between a married couple and a girlfriend/boyfriend entering into a FLR. I would not advise financial control unless you are married. It is also a good idea to set boundaries and limits when you start out in a FLR. A healthy FLR is a journey that two people embark on together and explore together. You are focused on all the extreme aspects of FLR, which is the wrong focus. It's like the person who watches shark week on TV and decides to never swim in the ocean. Most couples do not start with chastity devices or extreme femdom and many never get there. My husband does not wear a chastity device and never has. Most who get into more extreme forms of femdom, arrive at it through consensual exploration over a long period of time. Here's the real kicker...the guy loves it! It is exciting. As others have said, if you never try it, you will never understand it. But also, as I said previously, if the thought of being controlled by a female does not arouse you in the slightest....then it's probably not right for you.
Delete