Sunday, August 7, 2022

This and That #2 (Guest Post by AJ)

Cruel and unusual? ...


As of writing this, he's currently at 147 days since I let him have his last full blown orgasm, so you might have me at “unusual”, especially if you are more of the vanilla mindset. But cruel ?…. I’ll let you be the judge after presenting my case.


Judging by what “I” am reading within the lines and between the lines from his daily journal entries he is in a state of marital nirvana. His mind is in the mental mush land where he enjoys it to be. Every added day of sustained mush is like adding another 1000 slow teasing caresses on his cock with my silky mouth and lips. I think I can best describe his denial as a form of Chinese water torture, but of a very pleasant variety. What's going on in his mind is way way better than what could potentially be going on physically between his legs for those occasional 2 minute sprints if he was still living life as a normal vanilla man and just having his orgasms when ever he felt like it. From witnessing his generally enthusiastic and content everyday behavior in and around the house I have to believe he is no worse for the wear. If he was living some sort of miserable existence, I doubt that it wouldn’t bleed over to all aspects of life both in the bedroom and out of it. You can’t disguise happiness.


From seeing that all important telltale drip coming from his caged cock almost on a nightly basis as he feasts upon my temple of love, I know that he is 1000% enjoying that bucking bronco which is his chastity, orgasm denial, and edging ride. Believe me, as he licks, sucks and caresses my body he is not just going through some sort of expected obligatory motions. He is into it with every fiber of his mind and body. He looks forward every night to the gymnastics which go on in our bed, and his penis never see’s a single lick of attention by and large when that occurs. He is energized!


Ok I think that I would say I can rest my case for him, but what about me? What am I, his loving wife, getting in return for my energy and efforts expended with this… What do I get in return for all of the “lost cock”?  It takes energy and continued creativity on my part to keep his mind in mush land.

As already mentioned, I have a very happy husband. If he’s happy and content that’s a large part of what also makes me feel content and our marriage smooth. As  already mentioned, I have one well tended garden. Enough said.


Additionally, I know from the smile on my own face, having that wonderful freedom of to do as little housework or as much household chores as I choose to do or not do,  is a supreme gift from him to me. Sex is always wonderful, but having him step up to the plate so selflessly and enthusiastically on the domestic side is indeed a treasured gift to me. Honestly, what's not to love as a woman with this situation? I am the pampered sovereign Queen of my Kingdom.


I speak a lot of “his” mind mush with this whole topic. But I also experience my own versions of the same sort of mush. This has really been a development over time for me. It took some time in the lifestyle for this to come to pass and for me to admit to it. When I see him in his teased and tormented bliss, I achieve a huge degree of satisfaction in placing him there. I know that its my confident and determined driving of the marriage which is getting him to that state. There’s always a certain joy in work well done. A certain naughty side of me has surfaced as a direct result of our lifestyle. Its become erotic, its at times wicked, and its certainly sensual many times. It makes me physically wet to tease him to death. There is even a certain level of excitement and eroticism that I feel when I discipline him. Draping a man over your lap and whipping his naked backside with a belt can be strangely satisfying and stimulating.  I can honestly tell you that these are not feelings I experienced previous to our FLR lifestyle but they have become enjoyable elements for me as this has progressed. My mind gets a bit mushy with all of this as well and I think I have developed my own sort of physical and mental need for it. There, I have said it and its on record! I am one truly satisfied and happy wife in all aspects of that definition, and he really is one extremely lucky cowboy to have a bunk on my ranch house! All it took was for me to learn how and when to apply my spurs and to get over my initial fears of digging them in too deep.


The future of his orgasm…

So far he’s only had one of his three guaranteed full blown orgasms this year (our verbal contract so to speak). I think I'm going to save the remainder of his orgasms for his Christmas present. I want us both to experience what the longer haul of denial will bring from him.  He’s holding up well, and I think he has it in him to go a longer distance. We’ve done plenty of half marathons with this so far and I think my little stud is trained and ready for going to his next level. So he's got some time ahead of him yet before he gets to  escape  from Alcatraz (with the nice Wardens help). I think were both up for the challenge and its good to push the boundaries a bit. Asides from all of the positive chemical and physical mojo type stuff being developed by his continued chastity, denial and edging, I think he is also attaching a sort of air of pride in himself for being able to continue his streak. He's really learning through living that while he has given up his physical orgasm up to me, to a large extent for our relationship, he is in return experiencing and feeling so much more by having done that. It a very large net positive for him (and *Me*) and not the opposite. Unless you are a couple actively practicing within this sort of activity (especially long term!!!), its difficult really to visualize this dynamic well, but it really does work if you can make it past those those early teething pains when your playing and experimenting with this life. It has to go through a developing and nurturing  phase where you both learn what works and how (and if). Suddenly when your not looking and are of an open enough mindset to accept it, your own marital nirvana can be right there for the both of you.


His chastity device…

Taking into account some of the past comments made from my chastity device blog post a while back, we've also experimented with a new plastic device for him. We've purchased a Cherry Keeper Short Headlock device for him. That was about 2 months ago. So far we are really liking it as the new alternate plastic device to his gold standard device which is the metal Rigid Half Shell. For kink heightening reasons, that's still our favorite device because of the PA locking device which it incorporates. We had discussed this as equals since it is a physical alteration to his body, and then had him pierced just so we could experience the full benefits of the locking device. We know that's its physically impossible for him to cheat from his lockup with that device since pullout from the back of the device is not possible while it is locked. He can still sneak an  orgasm if he really wanted to, but that's another already covered story and its not going to happen at this point in his submission to my authority. Asides for the anti pullout aspect, we also like the look and heft of a metal device the best, it just conveys an overall attitude of permanence and reality to us both. So that is a real turn on to us both to put it lightly. 


But having said that…  I like to occasionally mix it up for us by having him go to plastic sometimes. There are several good reasons for us to occasionally do that. Its a slightly different look and feel for him when he wears the Cherry Keeper on his cock, and sometimes that comes in handy when he develops those occasional slight irritations on his penis from wearing the Rigid device long term. Switching him temporarily to plastic and to a different device,  allows him to heal up without ruining his chastity cycle by having to go cage free. Also, there are some occasional unique instances which come up where having him wear plastic instead of metal is beneficial, such as airport screenings, potential public event screenings, certain clothing attire etc. One of the biggest reasons probably is that we like to switch him out about once a week for an entire day while we deep clean his Rigid device with my ultrasonic jewellery cleaner. The cleaner doesn’t actually take that long, but throw in some more detailed grooming activity now that his junk has become fully accessible to us both, a long soak in the tub for him, and just to add in healthy allowance for airing him out in a different style of device within a closely supervised environment, it’s then a full day in the Cherry Keeper before I put him back to where we really like to see him. So net effect is that he’s in his Rigid on average 6 days of the week and then in his Cherry Keeper on Sundays, typically speaking.


When he does wear the new Cherry Keeper, he does find that it's very comfortable on him. He had to do some light sanding of it when we first got it to make it that way. Its a 3D printed device so its not totally smooth out of the box when you do get it. We both really like how the head locker portion of this new cage keeps his cock head tightly pressed into the end of the cage and that it also keeps his cock tip in great continuous alignment with the pee opening of the cage. Its a very nice design feature. I don’t know why, but I also kinda find it very hot how his cock head just sort of snaps in there and  clicks into place with the new device. One of our negatives with the Holy Trainer Nub device, our former go to plastic device, was the occasional difficulty he experienced with keeping his pee slit lined up in the rather small end opening of that device - it tended to want to wander off just a tiny bit at times from having that natural alignment. If he didn't take time to adjust himself and/or didn't notice that happening prior to peeing, it would result in him kind of spraying himself down from inside the cage as his stream hit the inside of the plastic. So from a hygiene standpoint it was a bit needy at times. Not a huge deal for me since the cleanup was all my husbands end to take care of, but it did lend to occasional situations where it looked like he had peed himself. A bit embarrassing for him when out in public, and a potential odor issue for us both if he couldn't clean himself up right away. We do not have this issue with the Cherry Keeper, so its a big improvement there and in general, we see it as a measurable improvement over the Nub. The cage opening is considerably larger on the peeing end then the Nub since its more of an open device design and not a closed device design, so we no longer run into this issue which  in hindsight, is rather a large plus. 


With chastity cages your always in a sort of that  perpetual search for the next better mousetrap, and the Cherry Keeper answered our call. We both continue to enjoy his extended wear of locking devices and feel that it greatly heightens both of our states of mutual arousal and definitely one ups our FLR game so to speak. I know its not everyone's thing or need to be locked up, but for this couple, we continue to love the physical and mental effects my husband experiences while wearing a device long term. His PA piercing in particular really brings chastity wear to a completely higher level of kink for us both. I would highly recommend this at least as a 2nd or 3’d look consideration for other couples, perhaps those who are more advanced in this lifestyle choice as we are. Worth an experiment?


Romance and Keeping it fresh.....

A few weeks ago it was my birthday, and my very wonderful husband surprised me with a long weekend getaway trip to the windy city, Chicago. We took Amtrak there and back as we live close enough to one of those rail hubs to do that. I always have loved riding the train, I find it very romantic and somewhat mysterious and nostalgic - I really enjoy it.  Plus no driving and parking especially in a crazy city like Chicago (we're small city folks so were not used to the cramped and busy traffic). Everything we were interested in was a rather a short cab drive away in all directions, so it worked out well for us. BTW, for this trip we used his Cherry Keeper exclusively just to give it an extended test drive and to change things up a bit more. We also weren't quite sure what to expect in terms of the various security screening protocols we might hit at some of the venues we had planned for the trip, so we decided to be safe and not gamble with the metal device and potentially  cause him some embarrassment.  This turned out to be unnecessary also BTW and we didn't run into anything like that, we just weren't real sure what to expect as it had been a while since we had been out and about this way in the big city. (We are oh so small city :).  


On this trip we splurged a bit further and booked a two night stay at one of the nicer more scenic hotels overlooking the Navy Pier area. We are usually pretty frugal with our finances in this regard, so this entire trip was a bit of a special exception for us. But we viewed it as a nice investment in our relationship. We enjoyed a lake view room up on the 22nd floor of the hotel. With the room drapes open it was a magical view out over the lakefront area. I packed a few extra things in my case for this special trip and we both had an extremely fun time. The first day/night I had him give me a full pamper up session in our room before we headed out on the town. He gave me a very nice pedicure and then polished my nails. I love it when he touches and pampers my feet this way. We followed that up by then having him sensually shave my pussy and backside extra smooth up on the large bed. After an appropriate amount of lotion was applied and massaged into my freshly shaved areas, we were ready to hit the city. We took a cab over to the downtown city area, did some touristy walking around, shopping and people gazing and then we had a romantic early dinner at a restaurant where we had a made a reservation at.  Eventually we ended up at Navy Pier for the sights and sounds there. We had a fun ride on their huge lakefront Ferris wheel and then had an scenic excursion on one of their lake boats that we had booked for the occasion earlier. Neither one of us is typically into noise and crowds, but occasionally its a  nice experience, especially when you know its just for a short planned period of time. Navy Pier, the lake, and downtown Chicago was tons of fun.  


Also on this outing …..I wore my nice light mid calf sun dress and sandals (hey I had to show off my fresh pedi) *and* I forgot to wear my panties...... It was a liberating and extremely sensual experience for us both. There’s something extremely wicked and sensuous when you feel the outside air wisping around your mostly bare privates when all that’s covering it is some loose cotton material.  I didn’t let my husband know this until we were already in the cab and on our way to the city. His jaw literally dropped when he found out.  He then was a complete nervous wreck with my "almost nakedness" and was all over himself making sure I was not showing and protected from exposure :). Every time their was a slight gust of wind, he went into a bit of a protective panic. It was cute and fun to see him that way. The whole time out he was just thinking about my cleanly shaved pussy and everything else that goes along with that. It’s a good thing he is kept locked up or he would have also had to worry about himself tenting up in his khaki pants. 


When we both eventually returned to our hotel room much later that night, we were both in quite an aroused state (to put it very mildly)! It of course was dark when we returned and I opened up the large room blinds completely and we both frantically shed out of our clothes. I  had switched the lights off after our getting settled into the room. I then spread myself down naked and extremely wet and horny on the bedspread. We then had sex in our usual way with his head and tongue between my spread open legs. I literally grabbed him by the hair on top of his head and shoved him in there!  I enjoyed three very huge orgasms and just couldn't quite honestly take any more. I was worried I was getting a tad noisy.... After riding my elevator down for a bit, I flipped the tables a bit and gave my husband a nice surprise in return. I had packed my strap-on and favorite dildo for him. With the window shades still fully open and us still in full view of the night sky, I gave his cute little butt the pounding of his life. He then was the one who was worried that he was making too much noise.... 


It was a very very sexy and extremely liberating day and night. I'm still hot just thinking about the whole trip. As a side note, I know this sounds a bit risque and all, but it was very dark and I'm sure that no one really was able to see anything. It was just the illusion of being fully exposed which made it very romantic and off the charts sexy for us both. The remaining nights stay was also fun, adventurous, and full of sex but we dialed it down slightly on that final night. We made the most of our money spent and the locale that we had picked. It would have been very hard to top that first night. We spent some considerable cash which we normally would not have spent - it was like 6 years prior when we had last made a similar trip, and the kids were along for that one - so it wasn't quite the same then, It made for a very nice memory and a wonderful birthday present, well worth the money we spent.


 AJ

46 comments:

  1. What a wonderful guest post story. Thank you AJ and thank you Mz Kaylee for publishing it. Can't wait to read it Ms. K. during our Sunday reading time.

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  2. I love your posts AJ. I can relate a few ways and your stories are inspiring. We actually just came back 2 weeks ago from Chicago and visited the navy pier.
    Recently, I suggested a similar orgasm plan to wife and she's on board. We've been sticking to a holiday schedule to release, like a birthday or anniversary. Every 3 months it so seems to be the plan. In addition, we're significantly cutting back on intercourse like you. I actually prefer eating her and passing on orgasms strangely enough. She doesn't touch it. She is surprised but quickly embraces the concept of the limitations. She's mentioned that my orgasms don't mean much to her :0
    So let's see how long we go for the next one. I look forward to the next article!

    Thanks!

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  3. My thanks AJ. My husband and I have been away and busy with home renovations, so when I saw this post I thought it was perfect timing. My submissive hubby has enjoyed only two regular orgasms in 2022. Phil is quite the over achiever when it comes to longer and longer lock up times, otherwise it would not really be possible as you may agree. I seriously considered making a change to just two orgasms for him starting next year with more frequent milkings. But, he likes denial. I don't know how far he would go with it, if he made the decisions. He's actually asked me to just tease and deny him. That's too extreme. So I decided on three orgasms for him from now on. I told him, after reading your post, and he agreed. (The poor dear was weeping, though it wasn't tears lol.) He's a bit of a perv sometimes, and he pleasured my rear so skillfully it was decadent. We have enjoyed some erotic and incredible intimate sessions, and he is ready for this next step. He knows I'm serious, and doesn't me the "enforcer" without a good reason. Thanks for helping me decide.

    (Trina) I feel rather bad I had to recently punish my husband instead of giving him normal discipline. He slipped up in a big way, so I made his punishment a little painful with some erotic fun for us both. He challenged me in a nasty way and disobeyed in a major way. I told him to meet me in the shower. Phil already shaves his head, but I ordered him to shave everything, except his eyebrows as I looked on and inspected. I think he will be doing that more often. Then he had an appointment with Mistress Joan's paddle. After, I allowed him to orgasm while I told him he looked like a plucked chicken! Laughing is important, as was said previously, and we both laughed at my comment.

    We're both absolutely enjoying marital bliss, or our version of it.

    Regards.
    Joan

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    1. Thanks Joan for your kind comments ( and everyone else's kind comments as well! ). Its nice to know that what I am writing is resonating at least with some of the audience, and coming from another wife such as yourself, very gratifying. I'm also very glad that what I wrote was able to help you adjust your own spurs a bit more comfortably in your own relationship. It sounds like your husband is a lot like mine and thrives on the firm sense of direction and correction that I lovingly apply whenever I take him for his ride. Sometimes he just gets so heady from his gallop that I need to apply those reins and those spurs to get him to run in the right direction.

      So your husband is a bit of a perv? We'll so is mine :) Now that he tends my garden daily with love and affection, he doesn't really mind what end of the garden he is tilling. North or south, east or west, it makes no difference. My own backdoor gets lots of loving and attention as well, and in fact its become an essential and expected part of our nightly lovemaking. I feel like its the difference between having one orgasm and having two or three instead when it receives its just adoration. It just helps prime my pump (and judging by his exuberance while visiting there, his as well). So I think we should just both “allow” our men to continue being the perv's that they are, and just let them enjoy that part of their ride :)

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  4. AJ,
    Absolutely a fantastic post! It is very apparent you and your husband have a lot of fun and a lot of love between you.
    sw

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  5. Hi Joan, AJ

    Do you have any plans or reasons to cut back the orgasms any further?
    How long do they get to tend to your garden each time? I would think they never can get enough 🙂

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    1. I don't have any plans on cutting back my husband any further. I believe 3 is a really healthy number for us both, and there are many good reasons for this.

      First of all, despite the fact that he does crave complete chastity and sexual denial from me (or so he thinks), he also still also most definitely continues to crave experiencing those things which he has by and large relinquished to me, his normal erections and his full male orgasms. We may have managed to put his balance point on all of this much further to one end of the spectrum, the FLR end, but while its a new point of equilibrium, equilibrium still requires their presence. They are necessary! I feel that if I never let him experience these "manly events" periodically, I would over time slowly begin to erode my leverage over him. Its vitally important that he continues to crave and need these things from me. What's denial without something being denied and dangled in front of him? There needs to be that occasional carrot for him. His mind and body chemistry with is made up mostly up of the tease and denial ingredients will never achieve that violent percolation in the test tube without those other special ingredients being thrown in by me.

      Secondly, I feel that he has in fact earned a certain number of full orgasms each year from me. He's has worked or is working hard for me all year for the privilege of experiencing those orgasms and erections. As much as he is craving the FLR mind mush/mojo experienced from his extended tease and denial, he still very much craves those orgasms. I want him to see me as a benevolent dictator and not a despot, so he gets those whether he wants them or not :)

      Finally, I have structured his 3 full orgasms in a certain way to remind him vividly what his penis is giving up for me. This magnifies his tease and denial greatly and works to both of our advantages. What are men always looking for with sex? They want to stick in in their wife's vagina, their ass and their mouth. That's like the holy trinity for men's dicks and minds. I give him one of each of those distinct sexual experiences each year. Three distinct sensations and experiences for him and his penis. Three distinct reminders and memories of what his penis used to be able to do routinely back in the vanilla day. It gives him something acutely concrete to miss when were doing our new normal thing, which is tease and denial and his penis has no real physical sexual role other than to antagonize him with its constant crave of un-use. Its sole sexual purpose becomes as a reminder of what he has given up until the next time I gift him again. He can watch and feel it try to engorge within the cage. He can experience that slow sexual drip from his daily excitement, but he has no way to really satisfy that itch other than to energize and engage that tongue and mouth of his upon me. That's largely has become his new dick, and that's how we both like it. If he's a real good boy I also help supplement the loss of his penis with action to his butt, but its a complete transference of his sexuality away from his penis. These are now his new pleasure zones the vast majority of the time, and I am very central to both. Primarily he needs to focus on giving, that's his payoff.

      In terms of my "Garden". Our lovemaking sessions typically revolve around 15-20 minutes of oral devotion from my husband. Repetition and refining of his oral skills have got us there. It covers both my front and back door. Sometimes, for a special treat I will also throw in my nipples for his pleasure. Depending on my mood, depending on my own level of arousal and excitement, it can vary. Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter, and very infrequently not at all. I do take some pity on the ache of his mouth and tongue, he's still human. He's so wound up that he would like to go on for longer usually, but I don't want to give the poor man lockjaw, that would be a setback to the nightly plan :)

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    2. Mike,
      I waited for AJ to respond because this was her blog contribution. AJ has expressed reasons similar to my own for limiting my husband's orgasms to three per year, which is also supplemented with some anal play that he enjoys and that relieves his prostrate. A couple of years ago I had increased the number of orgasms my husband was getting because I had some concerns about prostate health, though it has been fine. I'm sure my husband enjoyed a few more orgasms physically, but I found him to be grumpy and argumentative. We all have bad days occasionally, but his were frequent. So Mistress Joan decided to limit his orgasms, first to four and then to three. His attitude improved. After all, he begged for tease and orgasm denial. Three orgasms, spaced out in four month intervals, roughly correspond to our anniversary, his birthday and the holiday season. He's happy. As far as my garden, he was always into oral sex. That was all he was allowed to give and get until we were engaged. I appreciate all he does, and my garden is kept attractive for him to play in. With all the chores and work he performs for me, I'd never have the heart to permanently deny him orgasms. Phil is also a manly guy, and needs at least some releases. Judging by his reaction to the two orgasms he had, he completely enjoyed his experiences. I also found that putting me in charge with him taking the role of a submissive husband changed him for the better. He is happier and enjoys the kink. He also seemed more confident in his professional life and it rekindled some artistic interests he had when he was young and let go when he started his career.
      Joan

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  6. AJ, Thank you once again for an interesting and provocative post. As a submissive husband, I very much relate to the power of orgasm control and tease and denial. I would love to "tend the garden" every night, but in our marriage, my Wife uses that as a privilege to be earned. Sometimes She only allows what She calls "pussy-gazing" and I am positioned where I may stare at, but not touch "her garden" as She reads or watches TV. These sessions may end in Her allowing actual worship -- I never know. Sometimes I am simply dismissed. Since I am not locked, when I am allowed to "tend her garden" I am required to wear a tight panty girdle to prevent unauthorized ejaculations. I agree that the intensity of sustained denial is incredibly intoxicating. My Wife actually sometimes will have me release because sometimes She will get tired of my hyped-up sexuality and have me release to get me to wind down.

    BTW, I love your story of your romantic weekend in Chicago, and the no-panty night out. Of course a Dominant Woman should wear or not wear whatever She wants! :-) Edwin

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  7. A very interesting text, with one more part of advice, and another more personal. I have allowed myself to translate it into Spanish on my blog lacuevadepepa.blogspot.com, if you do not agree, you can tell me and I will remove it.

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  8. Thanks AJ
    All terrific points. It does make sense for his releases when you put it that way. Can you tell me if him or you still undress for the daily sessions? Or was it only in special occasions like in Chicago where he and you may get that freedom and unique scenario. I ask because in our home, it's almost like routine when I give her oral. I don't think it's described as a time of passion or erotica. She doesn't care if I'm clothed or not, there's no foreplay, kissing or touching. She'll just let me know when she's ready or will give permission to worship her garden and will call be over to begin immediately. She'll just remove only her bottoms, cum and when finish will continue with her day. It's not a long played out ceremony. It made me wonder if she cared about intercourse, always and horny being hard or if anything was missing. She said she enjoys all she gets and I do too. It just seems more of a transaction but I suppose that's great if all she cares for. I'm still trying to comprehend how women still like that directness and oral only. Maybe you can give that insight how that transition was for you.

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  9. Thanks AJ
    Not sure if my comment disappeared.
    You made terrific points. Great points on why and how he should get a release.
    Can you describe if those daily oral sessions are pretty routine in nature?
    Over here, it's not erotic or a scene of passion, so to speak. I'm given permission or requested to perform. No foreplay, touching, kissing and she just removes her bottoms. She doesn't care if I'm dressed or not.
    I've always wondered if always has been enough with oral, no intercourse and to be direct like so. It's very transactional in a way and she'll continue with her day after she finishes. Can you say yours is the same way? Or perhaps you can describe the transition how just tending your garden was all you needed and not his dick.
    To be clear, it's fantastic with what I get to do and she seems very pleased. It's just a huge transformation from early on dynamic/ traditional way we had and I'm sure others.

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  10. My first and strongest reaction, AJ, is that this is an amazing piece of erotic writing. I started getting aroused as I read it, called Tony and ordered his tongue into action, and then read your entire post aloud to him as he licked away. Amazing orgasms! He was rock hard but with your post's great points I could not let him cum.
    I will respond more to the content at a future time.
    Trina

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  11. My wife enjoys coitus as much as I do so there isn’t a lot of orgasm denial in our marriage. Most of the time she won’t give me permission to come until she does. That is fine with me because I love to watch and hear her orgasm, totally focused on her pleasure. It really gets me excited. Sometimes she doesn’t give me permission to orgasm after I pleasure her orally. I hate blue balls, but I know she does it to keep me focused on obeying, serving, pampering and pleasing her. My Goddess knows what is best for me and our relationship.

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  12. AJ - thanks you for sharing this wonderful post. It's nice to hear a women's perspective on FLR and what she gets out of it. Your journey with FLR and your husband sounds very similar to mine. I too have found the over time, I have developed a desire and a special arousal for being in control and exerting dominance over my husband. I enjoy teasing him and get aroused by it. I enjoy how weak and submissive he gets when I simply command him to do something or a take a strict tone with him. Discovering my feminine power over him has been exciting.

    In addition, I could not agree more about your insights on orgasm denial. I see the same enthusiasm in my husband and yes, for him it is like a badge of honor to go a long time without orgasm. I essentially keep him in a perpetual state of arousal, which keeps him obedient and easily compliant to me. He loves this state. I also agree that a few orgasms here and there are necessary to remind him what he is missing and to do a bit of a refresh. In fact, sometimes I may deny him for several months and then give him two orgasms in a week. This makes it challenging for him when I go back to a long-term denial. It's exciting for both of us to have this reset, and have start over again with learning how to resist orgasm.

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  13. Mz Kaylee and AJ, it’s great to hear the women's perspective on this type of relationship. The submissive men are so quick to give theirs, but it seems many of the ladies are somewhat hesitant. Not sure if that is because they use this forum to learn mainly or if they share their feelings some will criticize? I hope it’s not the latter.

    You both shared your enjoyment and humor in how your actions can cause such powerful emotions in your husbands. It’s a win win and makes the relationship so strong.

    Thanks again for sharing. Mr Lois

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  14. Whenever I wear a chastity belt and contact women outside(whether at work, friend’s house, street, or whatever), I immediately feel very humble, docile, submissive, and respectful toward women, even though these women do not know anything about my chastity belt or my femdom lifestyle, and in many cases, these women are not even dominant type. It is as if, simply by wearing a chastity belt, I see the women as potential keyholders who have enormous power within themselves to grant me the great pleasure of orgasm as they see fit. Naturally, I am a much nicer(more submissive and more obedient) person toward women when I am wearing a chastity belt than I am not. The more I think about this change of attitude in myself, the more I feel that chastity/male orgasm denial may be one of the best ways to teach young boys and men how to respect women. I think all men, whether they are a dominant type or not, should at least try chastity/orgasm denial once in their lifetime for a reasonable period. That way, I believe the world will become a much better place, where more men respect women. Is there anyone who thinks like me? Or am I the only one?

    JACK the SLAVE

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  15. Are you sure this wouldn't have the opposite effect. I personally think chastity cages are a huge turnoff for the majority of men. When presented to the typical man I feel he would become very resentful at the suggestion and might actually treat women rather poorly because they want to control his sexual organ (and orgasms). I think it is best left to the men who really desire such a device and severe orgasm control by another person. A concerned brother who likes his penis to be free.

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  16. Dear concerned brother,

    I know that men will be resentful when offered to try chastity, as did I. But once they try it, they will soon learn that it improves their behaviors and attitudes toward women, so they will learn to appreciate it. In the end, they will learn to love chastity, as did I. It is a weird thing about kink that, before you have a kink, you never understand why anyone would want it, but after you have the kink, you never want to lose it. I believe that chastity is a good kink that every man should have. For it makes men more obedient and submissive toward women.

    JACK the SLAVE

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    1. I feel that non consensual chastity cage use will increase sexual crimes towards woman. It will create very resentful men who will want to take out their frustration of having to wear a contraption on their dick in a violent way on the gender that forced them to wear it. It will take a peaceful man and make him violent. No person likes to be punished for something they did not commit. I myself would view being forced to wear such a contraption as a forced punishment for a crime I never committed. I hope it would not make me violent, but I could see how it could negatively affect my view on woman. I would not be able to trust woman the same after the forced criminal sentence of a crime I didn't commit. The same concerned brother who could not give concent to having a barbaric device around his penis.

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    2. I never approved of non-consensual chastity. I meant that men should try chastity of their own free will. My ex-girlfriend, whom I dated during my college years, introduced me to chastity. She gave me a choice whether to wear a chastity device or to stop seeing her. I chose to wear a chastity device because I didn’t want to break up with her. In this way, my chastity was consensual, but in a way, I had to agree with wearing it because I was madly in love with her. I imagined a world where more women were like my ex-girlfriend, and I thought this world would be better than ours because, in that world, men would be more obedient and respectful to women. I myself am very grateful that my ex introduced me to this fetish. Before I was introduced to chastity, I used to watch a lot of violent porn that was degrading to women. Now I can’t watch these porns, not because these porns no longer arouse me but because I believe women should not be treated like that. Honestly, I think I am a much better person now than before chastity. And this change is due to the years of chastity training coupled with housework service to my keyholders. Chastity changed my view of women completely. I used to see women as sexual objects that I could use and abuse to satisfy my own sexual fantasies. Now I see them as powerful goddesses who deserve to be worshipped and pleasured by men. If chastity can bring out such a change in me, it can bring out such a change in many men. If so, a world where all men try chastity of their own free will is a better world than ours.

      JACK the SLAVE

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    3. I am sorry but your definition of how you started wearing a chastity cage is really non consensual. It might have had something to do with your porn addiction, but it that still does not excuse the circumstances your girlfriend put you through to wear it. I myself would have chosen a new girlfriend because she had no concept of love for me with that ultimatum (I also don't consider myself addicted to porn either). If she was concerned about your addiction to porn there were other superior methods of dealing with it. A girlfriend should respect a simple "NO" to wearing a chastity cage just like a boyfriend should never require a girlfriend to do anything she is uncomfortable doing. Both must accept each other's boundaries if a relationship is going to be healthy in the long term. A person who needs a device to respect the opposite gender is not a strong person. I expect better from a fellow brother. I expect a fellow man to respect a lady who in return respects him.
      By the way all men are given an ability to not react to his sexual urges, it is called self control. Those that use their own self control are happiest in the long run and don't need any barbaric devices around their penises.
      In your position I would question whether your girlfriend really has your happiness and well-being as a priority since she did not discuss or allow a discussion of a chastity cage. I also question her view of another person that refers to themselves as a slave. In most areas slavery is forbidden and should not be tolerated. In a relationship both partners should be treated with dignity and respect. I find a person referring to themselves as a slave not having a lot of respect for themselves.

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    4. I guess this is where we have to agree to disagree. If you can’t see the beauty of the act of a male sacrificing his own sexual pleasure to serve women better, we will never understand each other. All I am left to say is that my ex-girlfriend had a lot of respect for me. What I don’t understand in your comment is why you think a man needs to be able to masturbate behind his woman’s back in order to be considered a respected partner. I guess that’s just your view of “respect,” with which I disagree. I won’t comment on this post anymore, but I thank you for reading my comments carefully and responding with sincerity.

      JACK the PROUD SLAVE

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    5. I too will agree to disagree. I did want to clarify one thing. I do believe a man can control himself if he so desires (purposely masterbating, not the wet dreams that happen in your sleep). A man in a relationship can keep himself masterbation free as well as his girlfriend doing the same. In the masterbation department I do believe in equality. If one is allowed to do it the other should be given the option. The concerned brother.

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    6. In response to "I do believe a man can control himself if he so desires...," the problem is most men do not desire to control themselves. i find it hard to believe there are many men in a relationship that do not masturbate.

      I appreciate the dialogue here. I would like to understand from those of you commenting against chastity devices, if you consider yourself submissive?

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    7. I have been controlled by the whip and hard discipline and really harsh punishment , I’m not talking about play pity pat fantasy stuff but hardcore beatings real attitude adjustments sessions that I fear my wife was dominating me before we were married and she said if we are going to be married that you are going to lose really any freedom you might of thought you had in the past well it’s gone when we are married it’s means within our marriage you become property a slave you have absolutely no say or rights and I have total control over you but I as your dominant mistress I have complete freedom sexually of course and just in general I have no restrictions none now do you love me enough to promise me that you'll give yourself over to me completely from the wedding day forward I’m not ever going to be worried about your feelings or anything I won’t tolerate any misbehaving and your just property to me I won’t have sentimental feelings for you at all and punishment will be fast and very tough without mercy for any wrong doing you may do and as you already know I only have black men as my lovers and you already know I do love them and they can openly date me and at some point I might divorce you to marry a black man and I’m sure that will happen at some point in time but that will be an easy adjustment to make you’ll be trained like I want my slave to be trained or you’ll be gone I promise you one thing if you obey no matter what I do even if I divorce you and marry a real man a black man anything I will still own you as property and I will milk you when I think your ready and you won’t know where when or how and it will always be a ruined orgasm and you will drinking cum every time all of it but I will keep you , now are you ready to give me that I was apprehensive at first but I said yes and here it is 20 years later my Mistress didn’t divorce me but some of her lovers well let’s say I thought I was going to be divorced several times I guess what stopped those ideas is my Mistress does fall in love for well with her lovers at times some a few weeks and some she had for years some cum into her life and they break up but then they get together again but she falls in love but eventually she moves on she like variety and she enjoys owning a slave and that’s lucky for me and yes I love her very much even if Im just property to her she’s my goddess my religion my everything I don’t expect to be her lover I know my place cuckold bbc femdom slave thank you slave cc

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  17. If you are capable of controlling your own orgasms then you don’t need a woman with a barbaric device to do it for you. Besides self control is a lot more satisfying than imposed control.

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    1. I heartily agree. Once in a relationship both men and women should be able to abstain from masterbating to porn alone with their partner aware of the activity. When you have a partner you should strive to have your sexual relations be with them.

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    2. Absolutely true. Using porn or masturbation fantasies is cheating on your partner.

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    3. I don’t find a chastity cage to be a barbaric device it’s just a tool for keeping slave husbands in line and it’s symbolic to a lot of people and I can only say my mistress insists on keeping me locked it’s for my own good I thank her for her concern

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  18. Women crave sex even more than men do.

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    1. I would have to agree with this very simple statement. It is women who are keyholders of chastity cages and keeping them locked up for extended periods of time.

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  19. What is this fascination with Male Orgasm control? Why do girlfriends/wives desire to lock their boyfriends/husbands penises in male chastity devices? As a person who unfortunately just got out of a LDR I can not imagine ever wanting to physically control anything on my partner's body or even comprehend a partner asking to control something on my body.

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  20. Maybe it is for men who are unable to satisfy their women with their penis for various reasons.

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    1. For many it appeals to a very particular fetish or kink. Like many fetishs and kinks, its not for everyone. We're all individuals no matter what, so everyones mileage with any of this will vary greatly. It doesnt make it wrong or right for anyone, just different things for different people. Also, for men like my husband who are experiencing issues of ED, something like this can be very useful as an alternative sexual supplement to compensate for that situation. I would argue in our specific case, it does way more than compensate for the reliable use of his penis. We're just leveraging his penis in other ways now. Its still highly sexual, just different than before. Trust me when I say he finds it very sexually satisfying.

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    2. What happens when it's time for a release and due to the ED he is not able to get hard? Does he miss out on 1 of his 3 yearly releases? One of the many reasons I abstain from wanting a device is because I suffer from ED and in my last (LDR) relationship I even had to use injections (strong dosage). In the rare chance it would work in the night I would not want to be restricted that night (I want to enjoy what little I get naturally). An older man in Central USA.

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  21. It’s as simple as submissive males being aroused by a strict controlling female. The simple thought of the sign of ones masculinity being locked and controlled by the female constantly arouses and causes deep feelings of submission to the female. Many women like having this level of control and the power they then have over the male is huge. They really can have everything their way, which causes even more submissiveness male and makes them extremely needy for the female. Does this make sense to vanilla couples? Probably not, but that’s because it does not aroused them. Sexual arousal is extremely powerful and drives most of nature. The practice of giving the female this level of control over the male is extremely scary and intimidating. This is because they have lived in a male dominated society and would now find themselves at the whim of a female. I imagine many females find this a bit humorous. These tough guys get that intimidated buy a controlling strict female that puts them in their place under their thumb. Things are changing and as society moves forward we will see more of this in public and it won’t be that uncommon as there are a lot of males that are like this.

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    1. I don't have a problem with the woman being a leader in a relationship. A lot of women are better leaders than men in relationships, business, and government. I just never had the desire to wear a chastity device. I never tried it but it seems very uncomfortable to wear for a long period of time. Who knows maybe in the future I will try it if my wife insists.

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  22. That's cool. I'm glad that the chastity device gives you both pleasure. Thanks for sharing, AJ.

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  23. For the female dominants. How do you keep your boyfriend/husband from falling into a cycle of depression of not being in control? I am talking about a man who is constantly reminded of his erectile dysfunction because he sees his #!$@# chastity cage every morning knowing he couldn't get an erection even if it was off. A man who is unworthy of even leading anything at home. A man who is so pathetic his wants/needs/desires are always secondary in the relationship. A person who is so incapable of doing a good job he is physically punished and forced to apologize for anything. I feel I am such a disgrace as a human being for being in my situation. A person unworthy of a name.

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    1. I’m a beta I’m not capable of leading my wife she is superior really brilliant dominant woman , I'm Just not capable of leading my wife a real high class who takes no crap from a sub husband and she would never stand for any bull shit like that no I’m not capable of ghost sorry thank you slave cc

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  24. I am an older male looking at the FLM lifestyle. I have a nagging question because of what I've seen in various websites. How can a man stay married when the wife willingly keeps him "pussyfree"? (I do understand if there are medical reasons that she has shared with her husband and he should honor because of the "in sickness and in health" that most wedding vows have). I just can't get my head wrapped around this one. I guess the lack of PIV sex is why I have a great amount of problems understanding husbands doing male chastity too, especially at the extreme end. Maybe the internet is too full of the situations where the female grabs too much power from a FLM instead of being a simple leader of the marriage positive direction to the couples mutually agreed goals. I was hoping maybe a FLM might help relieve pressure on me and help ease my ED. Donald (not Trump).

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    1. Sexual pleasure comes from more than just PIV sex. PIV sex is over quickly. Through orgasm denial, a man's arousal builds and builds and he experiences prolonged pleasure, which is a wonderful thing. Chastity and orgasm denial does not mean the man is completely ignored or that he never experiences orgasm. The wife still plays with his cock and teases him and may allow an orgasm. A 20 minute tease session is much more pleasurable than PIV sex. I would go so far as to say that a submissive who is under orgasm control, has a more exciting and intense sex life than most men in traditional marriages. My husband gets much more sexual attention from me now compared to our pre-FLR life.

      Donald - you are over analyzing this. You need to jump in and try it and stop worrying about what other people are doing. There are many flavors of FLR. Ignore the extreme scenarios and do what makes sense to you.

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    2. "I would go so far as to say that a submissive who is under orgasm control, has a more exciting and intense sex life than most men in traditional marriages."

      I can tell you from first-hand experience that this is absolutely true.

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    3. As someone who suffers from ED, I can't see how Orgasm Control would help with the symptoms. Being denied an orgasm when you get a slim chance of having one to me would possibly make you either depressed, upset or even a bit angry. I know I get many emotions when I am having sex and unable to be a "real man" and have a true erection. I also understand where Donald is coming from and wanting to try almost anything to be close to normal again with erections. I really do miss a full erection with orgasm. Frustrated Old Man.

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