My last few posts talked about changes that I made with Thomas. I wanted to post a follow-up to let you know how the changes are progressing. It took me quite awhile to write the posts (I am a slow writer). It's been several weeks since I first announced the changes to Thomas.
Overall, the changes have gone great. The teasing and fun approach that I used to announce the changes had an energizing effect on our relationship. It helped us get back into some of our routines and for the first few weeks afterwards we were much more intimate and loving with each other; almost like newlyweds. Thomas even bought me flowers and wrote me a note to thank me for planning the day and to tell me how much fun he had with me and how exciting it was for him to be teased and dominated by me. During all the fun, there was no orgasm for Thomas so he was quite horny, which kept him focused on wanting to please me in order to get attention for himself. We are still busy with work and other stuff, but now we are a little more inward focused on ourselves, which makes us gravitate together during the few free moments rather than go separate ways.
The discipline jar is going very well for me and not so well for Thomas :). He reached the $10 punishment threshold rather quickly the first time around. Because of how easy and quick it is for me assess fines, I end up giving him fines for little things that in the past I often forgot about or neglected to bring to his attention during his discipline session. If I see he did not put his shoes away - $1 fine; cleaned the kitchen but did not wipe the table - $1; put a shirt or sweater away in the wrong spot - $1; food scraps in the sink drain - $1; Smart remark to me - $2!. These are the little things that I'd forget to track previously or would even tolerate a bit. The nice things is it is quick and easy feedback for Thomas. He is now paying more attention to these smaller things and doing a better job. When $10 was accumulated in the jar, I laid out his punishment panties to wear. That night, I called Thomas to the room, took him over my lap and spanked him for each dollar in the jar. The discipline session was quick and efficient. I did not have to explain each item. We talked more in general terms about how things were going and what needed to be improved.
I have to admit that it is a bit fun to assess fines. Several of his fines have been delivered via text message when he was not home and I discovered something I am not pleased with (see how easy it is!). I have to be careful not to get too picky and take advantage of it. The good thing is that Thomas has had fun with it too. He will smile and show me the dollar as proof of his payment whenever he is on his way to deposit it in the jar. He even fined himself once. He did not put laundry away one night. When I saw the full basket in the morning, before I could even say anything, he said "I know..." and pulled out a dollar and put it in the jar. We both had a laugh over it. It has been fun for both of us and Thomas has said that he likes receiving the quick feedback. He knows he is often forgetful and can be lazy every now and then and this new system has helped him focus better on getting things done. He accumulated a lot of fines initially, but by now his fines have decreased quickly because he is learning to do better. Now he may only get assessed a fine or two during the week. This is proof to me that the system is working so I am very pleased with the results.
The food shopping training has gone well also. For the first few weeks it was more work for me but it was enjoyable. I decided that Thomas was to continue to wear panties, stockings, and garter belt for the food shopping until I felt he was fully trained. This would make the training fun. Just prior to the shopping trip he would have to put these items on (his shopping outfit). I made it a habit to be in the room when he was putting on his shopping outfit. He always had an erection when putting on his shopping outfit and I could tell he felt a bit embarrassed by this, which I thought was cute and sexy. I always made some type of comment of how cute, pretty, or sexy the outfit looked, or how soft the stocking were. While shopping in the store I might make a fun comment like, 'how's my housewife doing.' This was all just me having fun with him. After shopping was done and the groceries were put away, he was allowed to remove his shopping outfit (actually, this was required. I wanted the outfit to only be associated with shopping). During his training period, when he was done putting the groceries away, I would purposely hug him, kiss him, and get him a little aroused and thank him. I would tell him how excited I am that he is taking over the food shopping responsibility. I believe that doing things like that make it fun and rewarding for him, which makes him want to do it even more.
We do food shopping weekly. For the first two weeks I went to the store with Thomas for the 'on-the-job' training. It was also a learning experience for me as I had to learn to be more specific with some of the items on my list. It is amazing how many different brands and sizes of products there are or how many similar products. On my list, I may write 'jelly.' I know that means Welch's grape jelly but Thomas would have no clue. However, I made it clear to Thomas that part of his training was to learn these things. I would be a little more specific with some items, but I was not about to spend a lot of time writing out a detailed shopping list. It was up to him to learn and remember the specifics about the products we buy on a regular basis. My plan is to eventually get Thomas to the point where he is making the list and coming to me for any additional items to add.
The third week was a test for Thomas. He went on his own but I was available by phone. He called me just once to be sure he got the right item. When he arrived home, I supervised him putting the groceries away. He did well except that I noticed a few things on the counter that were not on the list. He bought doughnuts and snacks for himself to take to work. I reprimanded and fined him for this ($1 for each item). I told him he was not allowed to buy things that were not on the list without my permission unless he was using his own allowance. If he saw something in the store that he wanted to buy, he needed to call or text me for permission to buy it. I am sure I will relax this rule a bit in the future, but while in training I needed to be strict. Because of this issue, his training was extended another week and he would have to wear his shopping outfit again.
The following week everything went well so he was allowed to put away his stockings and garter belt for good (or until I decided otherwise). However, I designated the panties as his official shopping panties. He already has punishment panties so why not add another category. On the days he does food shopping, he must wear these all day. Now that he is trained, I am enjoying the extra time. It was fun for both of us during the training. We both agreed that it was nice shopping together. I may join in on his shopping trips every now and then in the future just to spend time with him.
Monitoring of his spending has been a bit challenging. He has already had to ask for additional money. There is a time each night when he is kneeling for me. I thought it was cute that he chose that time to ask for more money. His allowance was being used up quickly by the combination of me being more strict with the credit cards, him getting assessed discipline fines, and his allowance being reduced due to the payback of the "unauthorized charges" I discovered when reviewing past statements. Considering all these circumstances, I granted him additional allowance with no recourse but I told him this should not become a habit and he had to figure out a way to make it work going forward. Thomas has admitted to me that it is hard but he is glad that I am doing it. He likes the added control and he thinks it will make him spend his allowance more wisely.
Throughout the week I have received a few calls and texts from Thomas asking for permission to charge something to the credit card. So far, everything he has asked about has been acceptable and I have approved the request. I like having this added control. It is another way to stay connected with Thomas during the week and reinforce my control over him. It also keeps me abreast on the purchases he is making.
I am happy with how things are progressing with Thomas and am glad that I planned a full day to announce the changes. The day did cross over a bit into the fantasy world, but it was fun and re-energized our relationship.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
A Time For Change-Further explanation
I would like to take a moment to step back and discuss the logic and background information of why I did what I did when announcing my latest set of changes to Thomas. I had reservation about posting the details because I knew that my intentions could easily get miss-interpreted. I have received a few comments that have confirmed this. The comments cite that I am being abusive and not respecting or caring for my husband. I can reassure you, that what is being implied in the comments is not true at all in my case. Although the people who posted the comments mis-understood my intentions, I am thrilled by the messages being conveyed in the comments; A FLR should not be abusive; there needs to be respect and trust from both people; and the submissive is not weak or worthless. These are all absolutely true.
When I planned the weekend, I had two goals in mind. The first was to regroup and refresh our FLR. Both Thomas and I have ben busy with work and running the kids around. As a result, we were not spending as much time together and some of our routines were faltering. It happens. That is life. However, I believe it is important to take steps in your relationship to not let life consume you. As the saying goes, "stop and smell the roses". My second goal was simply to have fun. With being so busy, we have not had as much intimate time or even alone time together. Thomas is a natural submissive and I am a natural dominant. What better way to have fun for both of us than to plan a full day (which turned into a weekend) focused on domination/submission. I enjoy days like that but Thomas craves them.
To accomplish my first goal, I could have very easily spent time talking to Thomas about us getting back into our routines and conveyed to him the changes I wanted to make. It probably would have taken about an hour and that's it - goal accomplished. However, I wanted to make it fun. Thomas loves feeling my control and enjoys some of the fantasy aspect of domination, and so do I. Turning his mind to mush was my intent, but it was all in good fun. He loves when I do it. He calls it a great "mind fuck." While having fun was the biggest reason for my approach, there are also benefits that come with it, which help goal #1. By making it fun and associating the changes with pleasure and my satisfaction, it makes the changes more easily accepted by Thomas. It adds a positive spin to chores, that make them meaningful to Thomas and even a little bit fun. It is a win-win situation for both of us.
Taking over financial control is the topic that raised the most concern so I will address that first, Inserting control over someone's money is a sensitive topic as it can be seen a taking advantage of the person. Additionally, the approach I used was coercive and seductive. Taken out of context,the combination of those two items could imply abuse and evil intent. However, let me put in into context.
As noted above and in my original post, it was all in good fun with good intentions. For me, the financial control was more of a mind game with Thomas and a way to spice things up a bit. If you step back and look at what I did, there really was not much of a change of money. Both of us work and both our paychecks get deposited into a joint account. It's been like that since day one. He is on an weekly allowance but he handles all the bills, and he has access to the credit cards. None of that changed with what I did. What I changed was that the incremental amount of his next raise and his next bonus would be deposited into my account instead of our joint account. It was money I would have access to anyway. Additionally, since he is already on an allowance, he would not be able spend that money without my permission.
Also understand that Thomas and I have been happily married for 15+ years and have a very strong relationship. While I can get him to agree to just about anything when I tease and seduce him, if he had concerns about anything, I know he would convey them to me once his mind clears. It is my job as the leader to make sure his voice would be heard and then make the best decision for the relationship. Could someone do what I did and take advantage of someone? Absolutely. To quote Benjamin Parker from Spider man, "with great power comes great responsibility." As the leader, you need to make responsible decisions. If you do not, it will only lead to your relationship falling apart and probably even emotionally scaring your partner.
Finances are a sensitive topic and they should be. I would not advocate or support anyone doing this if they are not in a stable relationship or of they are not married (no matter how good the relationship). I also do not support the idea that the wife should have complete reign over finances without any input from her husband. This is foolish. I also disagree with those who say the wife must make the financial/money decisions in a FLR. This all depends on your situation. Let's face it, not everyone is good with money. If the husband has a better financial acumen than the wife, then it does not make sense for the wife to make these decisions. She should have input and the final say on the decisions but she does not need to control every aspect of it. In our case, Thomas is the one that is good with money which is why I let him manage the finances. I love that I don't have to worry about paying bills.
When all was said and done, did I gain more control? Yes, a little bit. I now have some money going to me that he will not have visibility into how I spend. Is that fair? Maybe not, but a FLR is not a 50/50 relationship and is not meant to be fair. I am the leader and there are perks with being the leader and Thomas accepts this and would not want it any other way. As I stated in my post, I value how prudent he is with money and he will continue to have input into how the bonus money is spent.
Hopefully that clears up things on the financial changes. With regards to shopping, I did exert my control over Thomas to get him to do shopping, and that was my decision. Again, it could be seen as unfair and that is just part of being in a FLR. It certainly is not cruel. I also pushed into the fantasy world a bit. Partly to add fun and part of it was just me getting caught up in the moment. Having Thomas wear stockings truly was fun for both him and I. I have no desire to feminize him but I do get a kick out of how he gets both turned on and embarrassed by it. I did it more to appeal to his fantasies but have to admit that in the moment, I got a rush out of dressing him in a garter belt and stockings. It was thrilling for me to see his demeanor change to passive, shy, and even more submissive during the process. I know he was aroused by it as well and this also excited me. I am certain that the sensations of the silk stockings rubbing over his legs while he shopped was exciting for him and will be ingrained in his mind for quite some time. These are the things that make the moments memorable for Thomas and also make chores fun or exciting for him.
The discipline jar was the most practical change and was handle in a very typical way. This was a way for me to adapt to our current busy lifestyle and it has worked out very well so far. I will provide an update on it in my next post.
When the weekend was over, Thomas could not thank me enough for what I did. He said it was one of the most exciting weekends for him and he loved how I dominated him, controlled him, and teased him. His was very aware that I was using teasing to weaken his mind and exert control and he loved it. He knew there was a fantasy aspect to it and that it was not abusive. It truly was a fun and intimate weekend for us.
When I planned the weekend, I had two goals in mind. The first was to regroup and refresh our FLR. Both Thomas and I have ben busy with work and running the kids around. As a result, we were not spending as much time together and some of our routines were faltering. It happens. That is life. However, I believe it is important to take steps in your relationship to not let life consume you. As the saying goes, "stop and smell the roses". My second goal was simply to have fun. With being so busy, we have not had as much intimate time or even alone time together. Thomas is a natural submissive and I am a natural dominant. What better way to have fun for both of us than to plan a full day (which turned into a weekend) focused on domination/submission. I enjoy days like that but Thomas craves them.
To accomplish my first goal, I could have very easily spent time talking to Thomas about us getting back into our routines and conveyed to him the changes I wanted to make. It probably would have taken about an hour and that's it - goal accomplished. However, I wanted to make it fun. Thomas loves feeling my control and enjoys some of the fantasy aspect of domination, and so do I. Turning his mind to mush was my intent, but it was all in good fun. He loves when I do it. He calls it a great "mind fuck." While having fun was the biggest reason for my approach, there are also benefits that come with it, which help goal #1. By making it fun and associating the changes with pleasure and my satisfaction, it makes the changes more easily accepted by Thomas. It adds a positive spin to chores, that make them meaningful to Thomas and even a little bit fun. It is a win-win situation for both of us.
Taking over financial control is the topic that raised the most concern so I will address that first, Inserting control over someone's money is a sensitive topic as it can be seen a taking advantage of the person. Additionally, the approach I used was coercive and seductive. Taken out of context,the combination of those two items could imply abuse and evil intent. However, let me put in into context.
As noted above and in my original post, it was all in good fun with good intentions. For me, the financial control was more of a mind game with Thomas and a way to spice things up a bit. If you step back and look at what I did, there really was not much of a change of money. Both of us work and both our paychecks get deposited into a joint account. It's been like that since day one. He is on an weekly allowance but he handles all the bills, and he has access to the credit cards. None of that changed with what I did. What I changed was that the incremental amount of his next raise and his next bonus would be deposited into my account instead of our joint account. It was money I would have access to anyway. Additionally, since he is already on an allowance, he would not be able spend that money without my permission.
Also understand that Thomas and I have been happily married for 15+ years and have a very strong relationship. While I can get him to agree to just about anything when I tease and seduce him, if he had concerns about anything, I know he would convey them to me once his mind clears. It is my job as the leader to make sure his voice would be heard and then make the best decision for the relationship. Could someone do what I did and take advantage of someone? Absolutely. To quote Benjamin Parker from Spider man, "with great power comes great responsibility." As the leader, you need to make responsible decisions. If you do not, it will only lead to your relationship falling apart and probably even emotionally scaring your partner.
Finances are a sensitive topic and they should be. I would not advocate or support anyone doing this if they are not in a stable relationship or of they are not married (no matter how good the relationship). I also do not support the idea that the wife should have complete reign over finances without any input from her husband. This is foolish. I also disagree with those who say the wife must make the financial/money decisions in a FLR. This all depends on your situation. Let's face it, not everyone is good with money. If the husband has a better financial acumen than the wife, then it does not make sense for the wife to make these decisions. She should have input and the final say on the decisions but she does not need to control every aspect of it. In our case, Thomas is the one that is good with money which is why I let him manage the finances. I love that I don't have to worry about paying bills.
When all was said and done, did I gain more control? Yes, a little bit. I now have some money going to me that he will not have visibility into how I spend. Is that fair? Maybe not, but a FLR is not a 50/50 relationship and is not meant to be fair. I am the leader and there are perks with being the leader and Thomas accepts this and would not want it any other way. As I stated in my post, I value how prudent he is with money and he will continue to have input into how the bonus money is spent.
Hopefully that clears up things on the financial changes. With regards to shopping, I did exert my control over Thomas to get him to do shopping, and that was my decision. Again, it could be seen as unfair and that is just part of being in a FLR. It certainly is not cruel. I also pushed into the fantasy world a bit. Partly to add fun and part of it was just me getting caught up in the moment. Having Thomas wear stockings truly was fun for both him and I. I have no desire to feminize him but I do get a kick out of how he gets both turned on and embarrassed by it. I did it more to appeal to his fantasies but have to admit that in the moment, I got a rush out of dressing him in a garter belt and stockings. It was thrilling for me to see his demeanor change to passive, shy, and even more submissive during the process. I know he was aroused by it as well and this also excited me. I am certain that the sensations of the silk stockings rubbing over his legs while he shopped was exciting for him and will be ingrained in his mind for quite some time. These are the things that make the moments memorable for Thomas and also make chores fun or exciting for him.
The discipline jar was the most practical change and was handle in a very typical way. This was a way for me to adapt to our current busy lifestyle and it has worked out very well so far. I will provide an update on it in my next post.
When the weekend was over, Thomas could not thank me enough for what I did. He said it was one of the most exciting weekends for him and he loved how I dominated him, controlled him, and teased him. His was very aware that I was using teasing to weaken his mind and exert control and he loved it. He knew there was a fantasy aspect to it and that it was not abusive. It truly was a fun and intimate weekend for us.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
A Time For Change - Food Shopping and more Financial Control
To recap what I have written on this topic so far, in my first post I teased Thomas unmercifully while I told him that his future raise and bonus would be deposited into my bank account instead of our joint account. Then I had a discipline session with him in which we talked about how busy we were but that we still needed to get back into our FLR routines. I introduced a new discipline method to him in which he will be assessed a $1 or more penalty for discipline related items, which will be payable into a discipline jar (and become my money).
By now it is a little after dinner and from all the teasing and dominating, Thomas is a horny mess. I can tell he has dropped into subspace and can not think straight. It is exactly the way I want him. He will do whatever I want. To be honest, I am in a subspace of my own. I guess for the dominant you can call it super space :) The way he reacts to whatever I tell him and how aroused he is from my control and aroused at the slightest touch or whisper from me is intoxicating. I may be enjoying it all more than him.
During the discipline session I brought up the topic of spending money. He is on a weekly allowance but he is also allowed to use his credit card to purchase regular things such as dog food, gas, and items for the house. However, if he needs or wants to purchase something that is not a regular expense item or is a big ticket item, he needs to ask for my permission first. I established this rule some time ago but never really enforced it and so he has not been following it. I gave him a few hard spanks for not following the rule and told him that I would start strictly enforcing it again. To further reinforce my point, I had him fetch the last three months of bank statements and credit card statements. Then I had him lay across my lap while reviewed them. For every item that looked questionable, I gave him a light slap on the butt with my riding crop and then asked him about the charge. I lightly rubbed his ass while he explained. If his explanation was acceptable I moved on. If I was not satisfied with his explanation, I reprimanded him and gave him a few hard slaps with the riding crop. I also circled the dollar amount on the statement.
When we were done, his ass was quite red. The were a few withdrawals from our bank account that were above and beyond his allowance and I came across several charges in which he should have asked for my permission or where he used the credit card when he should have used his allowance money. The good news was that there was nothing lavish or concerning to me that he was spending recklessly. I reduced his allowance by $20 a week for 8 weeks. I explained that this would pay back some of the money that he spent without permission. He was not happy about receiving a smaller allowance but he accepted it. I also told him that going forward, each month when the statements came in, he was to leave them on my bedroom dresser for me to review. If he failed to do this timely he would owe money to the discipline jar.
There was still one more change in rules that I had to go over with Thomas. I wanted him to take on the food shopping responsibilities. I had planned on explaining the change to Thomas Saturday night, and then take him to the grocery store on Sunday to train him. However, by now I felt that he had enough domination for one day and I was getting tired myself. I would discuss it with him in the morning. For the rest of the night, he pampered me and attended to my needs.
In the morning, it was no surprise for me to discover Thomas waking up with an erection. He told me he was so horny all night that he did not sleep that well. I rubbed his cock and told him I was glad to hear that. I liked that he was up all night excited about the changes that were happening. It was only a few minutes before he was begging me if he could cum. For whatever reason, it seems that in the mornings when he awakes, I can get him to the edge really fast.
I of course did not allow an orgasm, but I took the time to explain that I wanted him to start taking over the responsibility of food shopping so that I can free up some of my time. I would make a list each week and give it to him to shop with. He was expected to buy the items and put them away. Eventually I want him to learn to make the list himself and come to me for additions, but I did not tell him this yet (Baby steps first). I figure that after a few months I can work on that piece.
I let him know that he would need to be trained on the food shopping so that he learned the proper brands and item sizes to get. I would also train him on where to put things away when he got home. I like using the word "train," when I talk to him as it implies my authority over him. It is one of those subtle things that reinforces his submission and obedience to me. Thomas seemed excited to be trained to do the shopping and he told me it would make him happy to make my life easier by taking over the food shopping. Those words were music to my ears.
Before we headed out for food shopping, I had Thomas serve me breakfast in bed
wearing nothing but a pair of his new panties. I received the full Goddess treatment. He served me breakfast and rubbed my feet while I ate. Then he dressed me for the day. I wanted Thomas's first training shopping trip to be memorable and exciting so I decided to have a little fun with him. I ordered him to fetch his stockings and garter belts. He was surprised by this, but I could also see he was excited (tail wagging again). Panties are something he wears frequently for me, but stocking are a rarity. I have no intentions of feminizing him but on a rare occasion, just for fun, I will tiptoe into feminization with Thomas. He gets excited by it, even though he has a hard time admitting it. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy dabbling in it every now and then. I like that I can push his buttons in a way that he does not understand or in a way that he is innocently embarrassed by it. This is the control that he craves.
I helped him put on the garter belt and stockings and admired him. I told him, "These stockings will be so soft and silky rubbing over your legs while you walk through the store." He was in a bit of a haze now and mumbled, "yes Goddess." I then teased at how he will fit right in with all the other housewives in the store since he was wearing stockings and panties. I knew this comment would bounce around in his head while we shopped. These are the fun mind game that I like to play.
At the store, I explained the order in which I shopped. Yes, there is a strategy to my shopping :). Then I handed him the list and let him go at it. He had a lot of questions and I had to help him find things, but all in all it was a good trip. I waited in the car while he loaded the groceries. When he got in the car, I reached over and rubbed his crotch until he had an erection and then I kissed him and told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was that he was going to do all the shopping for me and free up my time. This was a very purposeful move that I did. I wanted to associate arousal, excitement, and my satisfaction with him doing the shopping.
At home, after he unloaded the car I had him strip down to his panties and stockings and put away the groceries. I supervised and helped him put everything in the right places. It was amazing at how little he knew. He never pays attention to these things! When everything was put away I led him to the couch and had him sit next to me. I teased him again, bringing him to the edge of orgasm several times. Then I again told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was for him to take over the grocery shopping responsibility. I teased that he would soon by my housewife. I also recapped all the new rules and told him how I was looking forward to getting his raise and bonus deposited into my account. He was so desperate to cum because I was teasing him while we talked. However, I did not allow it. I wanted him to remain horny all week so that he remains in a bit of a fantasy land and is excited about all the changes He is more compliant and obedient this way. After a little more torture, I told him to go get changed back to his normal clothes as we needed to pick-up the kids. He reluctantly obeyed. The fun, for now, was over.
As I noted in my previous blog, I wrote in a little more detail than usual. My hope is the details will provide good examples and insights that you can learn from and apply to your FLR. I believe that is what is lacking with a lot of the information on the web around FLRs. There is good general discussion and theory, but very little specifics that are practical and can guide people in their FLR. It has taken me awhile to write these updates. The weekend that I have been writing about was several weeks ago so the changes have been in place for a few weeks. In my next blog I will write about how things are going with the changes. Please feel free to comment. I would love to hear if you think this is helpful, if you have used any of this information, or if you have questions.
-MzKaylee
By now it is a little after dinner and from all the teasing and dominating, Thomas is a horny mess. I can tell he has dropped into subspace and can not think straight. It is exactly the way I want him. He will do whatever I want. To be honest, I am in a subspace of my own. I guess for the dominant you can call it super space :) The way he reacts to whatever I tell him and how aroused he is from my control and aroused at the slightest touch or whisper from me is intoxicating. I may be enjoying it all more than him.
During the discipline session I brought up the topic of spending money. He is on a weekly allowance but he is also allowed to use his credit card to purchase regular things such as dog food, gas, and items for the house. However, if he needs or wants to purchase something that is not a regular expense item or is a big ticket item, he needs to ask for my permission first. I established this rule some time ago but never really enforced it and so he has not been following it. I gave him a few hard spanks for not following the rule and told him that I would start strictly enforcing it again. To further reinforce my point, I had him fetch the last three months of bank statements and credit card statements. Then I had him lay across my lap while reviewed them. For every item that looked questionable, I gave him a light slap on the butt with my riding crop and then asked him about the charge. I lightly rubbed his ass while he explained. If his explanation was acceptable I moved on. If I was not satisfied with his explanation, I reprimanded him and gave him a few hard slaps with the riding crop. I also circled the dollar amount on the statement.
When we were done, his ass was quite red. The were a few withdrawals from our bank account that were above and beyond his allowance and I came across several charges in which he should have asked for my permission or where he used the credit card when he should have used his allowance money. The good news was that there was nothing lavish or concerning to me that he was spending recklessly. I reduced his allowance by $20 a week for 8 weeks. I explained that this would pay back some of the money that he spent without permission. He was not happy about receiving a smaller allowance but he accepted it. I also told him that going forward, each month when the statements came in, he was to leave them on my bedroom dresser for me to review. If he failed to do this timely he would owe money to the discipline jar.
There was still one more change in rules that I had to go over with Thomas. I wanted him to take on the food shopping responsibilities. I had planned on explaining the change to Thomas Saturday night, and then take him to the grocery store on Sunday to train him. However, by now I felt that he had enough domination for one day and I was getting tired myself. I would discuss it with him in the morning. For the rest of the night, he pampered me and attended to my needs.
In the morning, it was no surprise for me to discover Thomas waking up with an erection. He told me he was so horny all night that he did not sleep that well. I rubbed his cock and told him I was glad to hear that. I liked that he was up all night excited about the changes that were happening. It was only a few minutes before he was begging me if he could cum. For whatever reason, it seems that in the mornings when he awakes, I can get him to the edge really fast.
I of course did not allow an orgasm, but I took the time to explain that I wanted him to start taking over the responsibility of food shopping so that I can free up some of my time. I would make a list each week and give it to him to shop with. He was expected to buy the items and put them away. Eventually I want him to learn to make the list himself and come to me for additions, but I did not tell him this yet (Baby steps first). I figure that after a few months I can work on that piece.
I let him know that he would need to be trained on the food shopping so that he learned the proper brands and item sizes to get. I would also train him on where to put things away when he got home. I like using the word "train," when I talk to him as it implies my authority over him. It is one of those subtle things that reinforces his submission and obedience to me. Thomas seemed excited to be trained to do the shopping and he told me it would make him happy to make my life easier by taking over the food shopping. Those words were music to my ears.
Before we headed out for food shopping, I had Thomas serve me breakfast in bed
wearing nothing but a pair of his new panties. I received the full Goddess treatment. He served me breakfast and rubbed my feet while I ate. Then he dressed me for the day. I wanted Thomas's first training shopping trip to be memorable and exciting so I decided to have a little fun with him. I ordered him to fetch his stockings and garter belts. He was surprised by this, but I could also see he was excited (tail wagging again). Panties are something he wears frequently for me, but stocking are a rarity. I have no intentions of feminizing him but on a rare occasion, just for fun, I will tiptoe into feminization with Thomas. He gets excited by it, even though he has a hard time admitting it. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy dabbling in it every now and then. I like that I can push his buttons in a way that he does not understand or in a way that he is innocently embarrassed by it. This is the control that he craves.
I helped him put on the garter belt and stockings and admired him. I told him, "These stockings will be so soft and silky rubbing over your legs while you walk through the store." He was in a bit of a haze now and mumbled, "yes Goddess." I then teased at how he will fit right in with all the other housewives in the store since he was wearing stockings and panties. I knew this comment would bounce around in his head while we shopped. These are the fun mind game that I like to play.
At the store, I explained the order in which I shopped. Yes, there is a strategy to my shopping :). Then I handed him the list and let him go at it. He had a lot of questions and I had to help him find things, but all in all it was a good trip. I waited in the car while he loaded the groceries. When he got in the car, I reached over and rubbed his crotch until he had an erection and then I kissed him and told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was that he was going to do all the shopping for me and free up my time. This was a very purposeful move that I did. I wanted to associate arousal, excitement, and my satisfaction with him doing the shopping.
At home, after he unloaded the car I had him strip down to his panties and stockings and put away the groceries. I supervised and helped him put everything in the right places. It was amazing at how little he knew. He never pays attention to these things! When everything was put away I led him to the couch and had him sit next to me. I teased him again, bringing him to the edge of orgasm several times. Then I again told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was for him to take over the grocery shopping responsibility. I teased that he would soon by my housewife. I also recapped all the new rules and told him how I was looking forward to getting his raise and bonus deposited into my account. He was so desperate to cum because I was teasing him while we talked. However, I did not allow it. I wanted him to remain horny all week so that he remains in a bit of a fantasy land and is excited about all the changes He is more compliant and obedient this way. After a little more torture, I told him to go get changed back to his normal clothes as we needed to pick-up the kids. He reluctantly obeyed. The fun, for now, was over.
As I noted in my previous blog, I wrote in a little more detail than usual. My hope is the details will provide good examples and insights that you can learn from and apply to your FLR. I believe that is what is lacking with a lot of the information on the web around FLRs. There is good general discussion and theory, but very little specifics that are practical and can guide people in their FLR. It has taken me awhile to write these updates. The weekend that I have been writing about was several weeks ago so the changes have been in place for a few weeks. In my next blog I will write about how things are going with the changes. Please feel free to comment. I would love to hear if you think this is helpful, if you have used any of this information, or if you have questions.
-MzKaylee
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