I am thrilled to have this post from a guest author, Mary. It has always been my vision to have others contribute to this blog so that you as the readers get a great mix of topics and viewpoints. Mary has stumbled across a fun "little thing" that hits a submissive chord within her husband. It's great when you can uncover these things about your partner because it adds fun and excitement to the relationship. Knowing how to push his submissive buttons also strengthens your authority over him and trust me..submissive men love to have these buttons pushed. A big thanks to Mary for contributing. Enjoy...
Hmmmm - How Big Is It
I have to confess - I feel I literally stumbled across the the topic of "penis size" as it relates to female dominant or female led marriages/relationships. I am no expert and what I relate here is only my experience. It may or may not relate to what others have run into. I have not thought this all the way through....at all. I thought that I could write enough to provide stimulus for
the thoughts and wisdom of others. I hope I don't offend.
First let me say that my own interest in this "little issue" ultimately relates to connection. For me that is my main interest in being in and exploring female led marriage. My sense is that it can offer an incredibly deep and special connection that can sometimes wane in long term relations. To me good relations include "vulnerability" and I expect this "little issue" certainly relates to that.
First an "intro" - I expect there is hardly a sole alive who has not considered the topic of "penis size" - some care more, some care less but I think it does run across most persons minds at some point. Certainly the ladies but maybe even more so - guys, some who have confessed to me that they thought about it very early on in life.
Even before I began to explore a female led marriage more explicitly I was no doubt a bit of a tease and pretty dominant with guys - even before marriage. That is just how I always was. I sort of liked to "use my feminine power" I guess. I think it was in this context I came across the issue of "small penis teasing". In truth my husband is not the "most endowed fellow on the planet" (just saying) and in my naturally flirty manner I guess I pointed this out - um, more than once.
The first couple of times it was sort of "innocent" (well...sort of). I recall one of the very first times seeing his penis and saying "Awwww, it's so sweet". I think at the time it was more of a natural response and I was not fully realizing that a man would prefer to hear "Oh wow, honey, aren't you huge"! I was having for me a natural response and the word "sweet" just came to mind and lips. However I quickly noticed I got something of a "quiet response" - really a totally quiet and submissive sort of "non response". Not until the second or third time did I really realize that he had a "reaction" and a very powerful one to being teased in this way.
I bounced around the internet and found some things on the subject of "male endowment". Some of it was silly and pornographic but a few other things were of interest. I began to experiment more. Some of this was not nearly as "pre-meditative" as it sounds - more just me being a bit, well teasing. Once at a dinner my husband (then fiance) was "asserting" his opinion on something (it was what movie to see) a bit more than I would like. I softly said to him in a sort of "teacher tone" -
"Are we forgetting how big we are not"? He knew exactly what I was referring to and got a lovely "quiet" to him. That time I clearly saw it. I let it sink in a moment and then said "That's much better".
I have found other ways to tease him on this. I think it is a mixture of excitement (after all his wife is talking about his penis which he loves) but also a sort of anxious tension in that I am pointing out who (no he) is in charge. It has increasingly become somewhat of a game for me. I know he feels way vulnerable and very, very submissive when I bring this up. He is submissive so I think in a sense he likes to feel these feelings. The other day I fondled him somewhat out of the blue (something I do from time to time) and said "Oh, sweetheart, you feel especially small today". I don't know what the trigger is but not much later he was virtually begging to be allowed to give me oral sex. Maybe it is the submissive mans desire to please? I wonder if when I indicate one "part" of him is not so manly his drive to be "of service" in other areas goes through the roof. I don't understand it but my experience is real.
Recently I have been "on the hunt" for new ways to tease him around this. Sometimes he tries to "play it off" like he does not notice it or does not have a reaction. But the other day he (weakly) asked "You would not tell any of your girlfriends about it would you"? I think he is torn - I think he is terrified of that but I also think there is some part of him that almost wants me to tell one of my girls! I have even looked at actors on TV and wondered (out loud) "Honey how much bigger do you think he is than you......if you were just guessing"?
Now that I have found this "button" I am on the hunt for additional manners of teasing him. I find it draws us close. I cannot explain that entirely. I really cannot. It seems to give him a sort of "freeze response". All of a sudden he is "under me", quiet, submissive. Though he can be dominant out in the World I truly do not believe it is how he naturally can be with me. There is something in this endowment business that speaks to that. Not sure was all super endowed and dominant but then our relationship would not be as it is if that were so!
I'd love to hear thoughts on this. Hoping I don't get judged too harshly.
-Mary
A fun post Mary on an interesting topic, dear to my submissive heart. Like your husband, I have always been on the smaller size, just a few inches when flaccid. I was always very embarrassed about it when I was younger, clearly being the smallest in the showers after high school gym class. So much so I often avoided them. In those days women didn't talk about it openly, and I was never teased about it by girlfriends. Now that I'm in a female led marriage I'm glad that I don't have a "large one."
ReplyDeleteMy wife does not tease me nearly as much about my size as I might wish. However, some years ago she did decide I would be in only panties, which totally reinforces her dominance and reminds me of my size. Given my diminutive size, the panties fit just fine. I don't know if you enjoy that sort of thing, but it is a very constant reminder of my submission, and one source of her teasing. Since you mentioned, "I am on the hunt for additional manners of teasing him," you might want to give panties a try.
My wife wears only cotton full high cut comfortable panties, but each morning she selects lacy or frilly panties and thongs for me. She has about a dozen pair of comfortable panties; I now have many many dozens of panties in my two drawers full! Her dominance reminders are less about penis size then who wears the panties in our house. As you can see from my female name, I also have evolved to be the wife in many other ways. I'm going to share your post with my wife, I know she will enjoy it, and maybe tease a bit more.
Thank you Penny, interesting stuff. I may ask my husband about the "gym class moments"! I guess putting a guy in panties is a related concept and it all ties in to wives/women being in charge or dominant. I guess it makes some sense that a "little fellow" or a guy in panties would not be ruling the roost?
DeleteThank you for this post, Mary. Thank you to Mz Kaylee too for posting it.
ReplyDeleteI think this post highlights some thoughts and concepts on humiliation in general, especially from a male's external reactions. The theory that I have about humiliating a submissive male is that successful "loving humiliation" attacks and justifies a man's insecurity but in such a way where there is no chance at rejection.
By pointing out his below-average penis size you are forcing him to accept one of his greatest fears/doubts as the truth. His silence reflects the internal shame. You can look at his desire to deliver oral pleasure in two lights. One, it is his "thank you" for accepting his flawed self. Two, it is his male ego's desire to prove that he can pleasure you adequately in other ways.
The thing with male insecurity is that once a man believes it to be true, it is nearly impossible to convince him otherwise. If someone tells him it is big/large, it will feel like a lie to him. Since you tell him the "truth" about it and make him feel safe in his inadequacy, it will make him love you more and the closeness you describe makes total sense.
There are ways to press this avenue further, but not all of them are very kind. Penney's idea of panties would take things to another level, as would the addition of a chastity device.
Thank you again. Take care.
I love what you said about male insecurity fur, because it seems to be the case for me.
DeleteThis is usually not a 'thing' for me, as in for the most part, I don't get anything out of being made to feel small. Although I would say I'm a more submissive man, I always personally found size comparisons to other guys a thoroughly un-arousing thing. Though lots of porn focuses on this together (usually the cuckolding type), it was never my thing.
ReplyDeleteHOWEVER, reading your post got me thinking. There ARE senses in which I have been turned on by my wife's teasing. It's something about her woman-ness that arouses a sense of inferiority when she refers to it as small thing, or cute, or sweet - in similar ways that you refer to. In this way, its not that it's compared to another man, but relative to her, my male 'package' is weak and powerless.
I saw a meme once where some woman said we shouldn't say 'have some balls' to encourage toughness but 'have a vagina' - since the woman's vagina is life-giving and can take a beating (as in child-birth) but a man's 'balls' were weak and easily susceptible to pain. This thought is arousing to me.
My wife has also emphasized the smallness of my manhood and package in relation to the size of her ass and thighs, and how her bigger, stronger sexual weapons made her superior to me.
In summary, my personal like of being made to feel 'small' or 'weak' is in relation to the woman. I think this is where the thrill comes.
Thank you for this post Mz Kaylee and Mary.
ReplyDeleteJudged too harshly? I think it’s wonderful that you find it sexy and fun to push him further into submissiveness.
For your hunt, times when I definitely shrink under her...
One girlfriend told me “You get so hard! A lot harder than guys with big cocks do. Maybe guys only have so much fluid available, so a small penis gets packed tighter than a cock.”
She was the one who made me agree that we would just refer to it as my penis, “Because all boys have a penis, but it’s really not a cock until it’s man-sized.”
Later, when I was dating my soon to be wife, I accidentally referred to it as my penis. She never referred to it as a cock again. These days I have to add -tiny-, -little- or -inadequate- between my- and -penis.
I’m not sure if she’s told any of her girlfriends about my tiny penis, but she has basically told strangers. She loves to ask department store saleswomen “Where are men’s boxers, not briefs? He doesn’t need them for support, just underwear.”
If we see a nude man in a movie, she always comments what a nice cock he has, either right then or later when we’re in bed. Sometimes she’ll mention the bulge in a man’s pants. I can’t tell how much she thinks about men’s cocks, but that always makes me wonder.
Of course I’m not allowed to masturbate, ever. So when she teases me or strokes me to orgasm, she only uses a one finger and thumb. She holds her pinky out “Like I’m holding a teacup.”
On the rare occasion she allows me to have sex with her ,she says “Oopsie!” a lot. She controls the pace and stroke, and I think she pulls away on the backstroke on purpose to make my inadequate penis slip out. She’ll say something like ”Where is it?” or “Stay still, I can find it,” when she reaches down to guide me back in. Afterward, she'll say the sex was "fun," or maybe "nice." "Your little penis is so cute when it cums." When I go down on her, it's "incredible" and I'm hot.
One day I was sitting at my wife’s feet as she sat on the couch watching a romantic comedy. About halfway through she asked me to look up a calculator for the volume of a cylinder. She had me enter 4.1 as the length, and 0.6 as the radius. “4.6” I answered. Then she had me enter 6.5 and 0.9 ... “16.5” was the second answer. I wondered what that was about, but I knew not to ask during her movie. Later that night she had my little penis in her hand, teasing me. “4.6 cubic inches” she said. I looked at her, puzzled. “That’s just about one-quarter of the volume of even an average-sized cock. 4.6 vs 16.5. I always thought size mattered.” That one I think of often!
O.G.
The "small penis thing" (for lack of a better description) is fascinating. Really fascinating. I know when I tease my husband about his, ahem, "challenges" - it is uniquely motivating for him. Initially I thought I was being playfully cruel - which of course I am but I am coming to realize it touches him in some deep place in his mind and body. He has "confessed" to me that hearing girls talk about a "love of size" just 'does something' to him. He remembered to me a girl in his college dorm who chatted about the issue almost daily and how 'quiet and meek' it would make him. Hmmmm, love that....
ReplyDeleteI am but a guest here and hope "the long timers" won't object to my view. As a submissive male my wife/mistress uses the humiliation aspect to put me on edge and blush at the same time. She does tell her friends about my size and punishments, most often in my presence. One of whom works at my office. Each time she passes me and winks, I am inclined to look down at the floor.
ReplyDeleterichard s
You stated: "I have a request for those posting comments - please end your comment with a name or initials. I understand the reasons to post anonymous and have no issue with it."
ReplyDeleteNow what I don't understand is WHY men are afraid to give their full name -- but feel they must post anonymously! It's as if they are ashamed of their lifestyle. -- Ken