Be a Queen / Put Him to Work For You!

In my last post I wrote about the importance of the wife taking into consideration the husband's needs, wants, and desires.  On the flip side are the needs, wants, and desires of the wife/woman in the relationship.  One of the biggest benefits of being the leader is that you get to do what you want and you should fully take advantage of that perk.  I have to confess that it is fabulous being the leader and I consider myself lucky to have a husband who desires to submit to me and to have me lead.

In most FLRs where the man is submissive, the power dynamic is not as intuitive as one would think.  It is a very interesting dynamic that in my opinion multiplies the benefits for both the woman and the man.  An outsider may view the behavior of a dominant wife as bitchy, bossy, or unfair, However, those who have been in the lifestyle understand that submissive men crave to be told what to do.  They want the wife to be strict and demanding. They want to be held accountable to high standards and to be disciplined and punished when warranted.  I regularly see posts from men who complain that their wife is not strict enough with them.  They want their wife to take a harder line with them.

This dominance and strictness was difficult for me to understand initially.  Early on I would ask my husband to do things for me and he would do them but he would often tell me that I don't need to ask and that I should just order him to do what I want.  It took awhile but it finally sunk in and when I wanted something I just ordered him to do it for me.  When I took this approach, I noticed a quicker reaction from him and a little more pep in his step.  Sometimes I would get very demanding, ordering several things from him at once or maybe even reprimanding him about something such as leaving his shoes laying around and ordering him to put them away.  In these situations I would notice his demeanor would instantly change to a submissive nature and he might even get a bit aroused or horny.  Often he would get into a mode where he just wanted to keep doing things for me and please me. The more strict and demanding I was, the more he enjoyed it and wanted to do more for me.  How great is that? So much better than being viewed as a nagging wife isn't it?  It is a fascinating and wonderful dynamic that once understood is very beneficial to the relationship.

For all my fellow leaders out there, my advice is to tap into this dynamic to its fullest.  Be demanding of your husband and hold him to a high standard.  Expect excellence and apply discipline or punishment if he is not meeting your standards.  Expect that your husband treat you like a Queen or Goddess.  If there are tasks or chores that you do not like to do, then you should not do them.  That is your right as the leader. I can not remember the last time I cleaned a bathroom, ironed clothes, or put gas in my car.  I have coffee served hot to me every morning and I get nightly foot rubs and massages.  If I am in the mood for sex, my husband comes running (or crawling).  If I am not in the mood, he leaves me alone. It is always on my terms and how and when I want it.  If I ask or order my husband to do something, he reacts immediately and without question.  These are the types of things you should expect and demand from your husband.

It would be remiss of me if I didn't talk about reasonableness when discussing this topic. You need to apply some reasonableness to what you demand of your husband,  It is probably not realistic to expect the husband to do all the chores.  This is just not reality for most people as there are not enough hours in the day for one person to work a full time job, handle family matters, and do all the household chores. If you overwork him he is just going to get stressed and then suddenly it becomes a problem for you.   However, as the leader, you have the lucky position of being able to assign which chores he does and so you can give him the ones  that you don't like the most. You should feel comfortable assigning him these chores and assigning most of the work to him.  Make him work hard for you and don't feel bad about it.  In fact, enjoy it.  Take pleasure from it and live like a Goddess.. It is all part of the deal of him being submissive to you and you taking the lead.  On the surface this sounds cruel, but it really is a win-win if done right (This is where my last post comes in. By intertwining his desire/fantasies with the chores and your demands it becomes a win for both of you).  You get what you want and get treated as a Goddess and he gets to live out his submissive fantasy and derives sexual pleasure from serving you.

To my female readers, I encourage you to take action after reading this.  Crack that whip and put your man to work for you. He is craving to serve you and be your workhorse.  You deserve to be treated like a Goddess or Queen.   I would love to hear back on what you did after reading this.

To the male readers -  Go out of your way to treat your leader as a Goddess/Queen. Don't wait to be told.  Anticipate her needs and desires and act on them.  Report back and post a comment on how you did this.  That's an order!
 




-Mz Kaylee