I do tease him that he is weak. That is part fantasy play but let's also acknowledge that he is weak for me; not a weak person but my feminine power over him makes him weak for me. That's no different than other guys, right? The most macho men, the most intelligent men, even powerful men are weak in the presence of women that they are attracted to or women who know how to seduce him and press his hot buttons. So there you have it, both submissive men and macho men have the same weaknesses when it comes to women.
Now let's talk about some of the qualities of the submissive man that I consider much better qualities than the typical non-submissive man:
- You are great communicators and for the most pat open and honest about feelings. I have learned to be a better communicator because of my husband. Because of this we have very few arguments and resolve differences quickly and without holding grudges.
- You listen and pay attention to your wife. Your primary focus is on her and family and not your friends. This is huge! I can't tell you how many guys I see that are more interested in hanging out with their friends than their wife. That's an issue! Your wife should be your #1 priority.
- When you are asked or told to do something, you do it without arguing or giving an attitude (most of the time :).
- You say "I love you" a lot and are more open to showing your vulnerability.
- You do many things on your own to show appreciation for your wife such as buy her flowers just to make her day better.
- You do all the chores that your wife does not like doing.
- Orgasm denial has trained you well. You have stamina and endurance that can outlast most men
When I read the above list, I do not see weakness. I see a strong, caring, and hardworking man. I see man that I would be lucky to know and lucky to be married to. Guys - do not be ashamed of your submission or view yourselves as weak or inferior to others. Embrace your submission, be proud of it, and recognize that you are a strong person with great qualities.
-Mz Kaylee.
The first paragraph says it all. That's exactly how both I and my Wife feel about this. My Wife is the only person I submit to freely and She most definitely doesn't want a feminized sissy for a husband (not that I find anything wrong with the concept for those that enjoy it).
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always, Mz Kaylee. I don't like to describe myself as 'submissive' either, though I'm definitely what we talk about when we talk about a 'submissive husband'.
ReplyDeleteYou've written before about 'hen-pecked' - that and 'pussy-whipped' are two very negative terms (though the second at least includes a sexual element). We definitely need something strong and positive.
There's one word - Uxorious - that's much closer. The downside, of course, is that no one's ever heard of it!
I suppose submissive husbands have to put up with being misunderstood. (Often we happily put up with alot worse!)
CK
I think very few women, even women with dominant personality traits, want a man who is submissive in a universal sense that extends outside the home. The more common desire, I think, would be for a man who is strong, confident, assertive, and high-status in all other aspects of life, but yielded specifically to his wife as an expression of her unique ability to command his loyalty and obedience in a way that no one else can.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I think was often true back in the days before feminism and equality came along, which is why I think this kind of relationship isn't as modern as it might seem. A wife could still be the "power behind the throne", even in a world where men seemed to have most of the actual power. I think this is part of the reason why married couples in our grandparents and great-grandparents' generations were often quite happy even in a world of apparent sexual inequality. Women in that era enjoyed being able to command their husbands all the more, given how deliciously subversive it must have felt in a world full of powerful men. Sometimes I wonder how many great kings, generals, and presidents throughout history were really making decisions based on what their wives told them to do, such that they were just figureheads for the woman who really should have gotten all the credit for those accomplishments.
The thing is this: "Men" are actually boys.
ReplyDeleteThey DO get more INTELLIGENT with age (duh, they obviously don't have the brain of a 5 year old) but they DO NOT get more a more MATURE BRAIN with age. Even when they DO get more mature brain, it pales in comparison to a Woman's brain, even a 17 year old Girl's brain. That's just the way Nature made you boys!
Diane