Khorina is a male reader of the blog and had contributed the thoughts below on male conditioning. I find this to be an interesting and fun topic. The techniques he describes below work and are great tools for a wife or girlfriend to have in her "dominant" toolbox. An example in my own marriage, is that early on in our WLM, I conditioned my husband to be aroused and excited from massaging my feet. Now whenever I demand a foot massage, he is very excited to do it and gets an erection before he even starts. He is always to be naked or in just panties when he massages me so there is no hiding his arousal. I also experimented a bit with stirring his arousal through perfume scent. It was working for me but I am not big on wearing perfume so I never stuck with it. - Mz Kaylee
Thoughts on Conditioning by Khorina:
I think any men, not only submissive, can be conditioned by women. In a totally vanilla environment, I once heard 'traditional' women talking about how they made their husbands behave in nicer ways by showing or withholding enthusiasm to their behaviors: a wife said she stopped her husband from being rough by showing she was bored while he was rough; another wife replying she would be 'excited' when the husband came back early.
Unknowingly, my Queen conditioned me to Her armpits. It started cause we started making love in a winter and there was a relation for me seeing Her armpits and making love. i always related smooth armpits with females, but i didn't see it as a fetish, just as something feminine. As I shared this with Her, She started purposely showing off Her armpits while making love, seducing me. Although i liked Her scent, it was really about the visual. Summer arrived and i pointed out how beautiful She was with blouses/dresses that showed Her armpits. She would playfully fix Her hair and I'd get crazy. She also started using it to relax me as I was going through job stress. Through repetition, it just naturally became established as something positive. At some point, it became a reward for good behavior. Finally She just realized it's something She could use to make me submissive to Her needs, and has been using it like that. She was never big about sex so we started moving towards my chastity for some time, but when at the end of last year we had a circumstance that gave us a reason to go for total abstinence, She said She'd help me by giving me 'rewards'. Nine months into it and i'm more and more submissive and She knows i'd look to keep Her happy every day to be able to kiss Her shoulder or see Her armpit. Crazy how the thing that She used to condition me (armpits, or panties in your post) has now become MUCH more important and increased my submission than what was supposed to be goal (making love).
Khorina
Great post, Khorina. The armpits and the ass are big triggers with me also. Being made to lick these areas sends me into a complete submissive state. I am pretty sure that total abstinence would not work for us. My wife knows that the elusive orgasm is the carrot I am chasing and she plays me like a fiddle because of it. Great point that they do find ways to condition us to get what they want and we are powerless stop it.
ReplyDeleteSarah had a much more direct cure for me being to rough. May years ago I misread the signals and thought she wanted me to be a more aggressive lover, so I was being a little rough with her. About two minutes in she said "that's it, I have had it". At the same time she pushed my face and shoulder back until I was laying flat on my back. She mounted me and started riding me hard. I was so shocked I came in about a dozen strokes. She lifted off and said "slide down" I had no idea what was going on I simply complied. At that point she mounted my face and I got my first taste of semen. A few minutes later she lifted up and said "go brush your teeth and wash your face and come back here and see if you can do this correctly". I meekly said "I'm sorry". This was the real turning point for us in the bedroom. From this point on we pretty much had a D/s relationship in the bedroom. Stay safe-Alan
Thank You, Mz Kaylee. It is very natural to give (or withhold) a prize to condition someone, be it kisses, hugs, or armpits. For us it's now increasingly Her shoulder, as it's an area i can kiss in public.
ReplyDeleteWives have lots of these 'weapons'. One friend goes bra-less at home, another shows cleavage. The key is to take control out of the husband (one of those friends told us She stopped using it and let her husband know as he was being 'too touchy'); now the husband knows he can see but NOT touch and it gets him crazy.
Thanks, Alan. Be careful, i thought i liked the big-O ;)
i think in every successful marriage i know there is conditioning by the wife. Another wife we know has a big 're-education' story about her military husband. The guy was a disaster and was divorced twice (2 children each), but got her love being charming. The wife is physically super beautiful and a strong character, they had the divorce papers ready and signed but gave themselves a last chance. She remembered how happy he was when they went to a super fancy dance, so she made a point of telling him they would go to a fancy dance every month if he was nice. She used that to get through their bumps, he loved seeing her as a Queen, stunning, and did everything to see her dress fancy: he got to be a good father, motivated at work, treated her MUCH nicer, got in touch with his previous children. More than sex, more than anything, he just was super motivated by being with his Queen in dances, opera or other fancy events. He still is the 'crazy' man in essence, but he knows how to treat his wife (and everybody else) respectfully.
ReplyDeleteCondition happens. I will sometimes get an erection from loading the dishwasher ... for no other reason than I have been told that it is my job. An erection!! From loading the freaking dishwasher for fucks sake. She doesn't need to even be home.
ReplyDeleteConditioning ... yup, it works.
Yes, conditioning is very real. As is getting aroused and fully erect from doing very mundane and even unpleasant chores just because my wife ordered me to do them.
DeleteI handwash my wife's delicate lingerie (bras, panties, stockings). She leaves them in a designated spot and my duty is to soak, handwash and hang them to dry and then put them away. Every single time I pick up her dirty underwear up to wash it I get a hard on to start with even if I don't remain hard for long. It is an erotic experience for me to handle objects that were in direct contact with and smell of my wife's body.
Or cleaning my wife's shoes, same thing. I enjoy it. Or even cleaning the toilet. A while back (2 years or so) she got angry because I left the toilet not exactly spotless after using it. Now it is my job to clean it. I don't like this particular job, but if I am naked doing it, I still respond with erection and precum at first. Only because my wife told me to do it.
And like others, I am conditioned to respond with arousal to expore to the sight, touch or scent of my wife's pussy, ass, feet, and lately even armpits. Oh, and the scent of her skin between and under her breasts and at the hairline behind her ears. Pure animalistic attraction all of it.
Forgot to hit the "notify me" button
ReplyDeleteI think it would be great if dominant wives and girlfriends would give their submissive males weekly or biweekly written performance reviews. The reviews could have maybe six categories and be rated from excellent to fail. That way a man could see which areas he needs to improve and also his improvement over time. He could then be punished as Goddess or Mistress sees fit or maybe even rewarded for exceptional behavior. I know I comprehend things better when I can read and reread them.
ReplyDeleteI am attracted to a woman with pretty little feet. I love to caress, massage and kiss them everyday. Especially when she wears nylon stockings and high heels. I love the way her feet feel against my face and body. They drive me wild with pleasure.
ReplyDelete