When I came downstairs in the morning, there was Thomas, in the kitchen, barefoot and in his robe, wiping down the counter. My coffee and breakfast were made and both were packed in "to-go" containers sitting next to my lunch bag- all ready for me to take to work. He had already loaded my work bag into my car. He greeted me with a cheerful "good morning Goddess." How wonderful for me. He is so well trained. This is how my week day mornings start every day.
I couldn't help but think of how much Thomas is like the 1950s housewife. He is my housewife....err...I mean house husband. Except that I think the house husband is an improvement over the housewife. Who say men can not do chores? They just need proper training. Not only does he do chores, but he takes care of the house, yard, and cars. On top of all that he holds a job, which is not something the 1950s housewife did. Ladies, you need to rethink the role of your husband in the marriage and expect more of him!
Below is a list that has been published from a 1950s High School Home Economic textbook on hoe to be a good house wife. I chuckled a little bit reading some of these, but I see many of these applying to my house husband.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
The "guide to being a good housewife" genre is often held up as an example of how the past was a less enlightened patriarchy, but I think a lot of this literature is either apocryphal or else was written in a playful way that had a more complicated subtext.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother was a student back in the 60s she took some college classes from Marabel Morgan, the "Total Woman" author famous for encouraging Bible Belt wives to be more sexually daring in order to please their libidinous husbands. She's forever associated with the "greet your man at the door while dressed only in Saran wrap" image.
One of the funny things about Morgan is that, despite her notional commitment to husband-pleasing submission, almost all of her appearances with her husband included a lot of body language that suggested rather different power dynamics. Often she'd answer all the questions in the interviews (some still available on Youtube) while her husband would mostly just sit quietly and nod. Figuring out exactly what men enjoy and how to take advantage of that knowledge is more often a strategy for increasing the authority of the wife, I'd say.
I rather appreciate this picture of Mr and Mrs Morgan. She has a crown, he's kneeling in front of her, and she's brandishing a formidable-looking cane! Makes it easy to imagine those sorts of marriages were somewhat less "traditional" than her books made it appear. I think a lot of older marriages were like that, with knowing winks that told you that the "surrendered wife" concept was just a tease and that things played out differently once the couple was alone...
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/marabel-morgan-who-wrote-the-total-woman-in-the-70s-wearing-news-photo/50459667
And they both look very happy in the picture! I suspect that you are right about the playfulness. Although back then, I believe there was pride in being married and staying home. That is something missing today. A woman or man who stays home to support their children is a valuable asset to society.
DeleteIs it not too much for anyone to do chores, take care of the house, yard, cars and hold a job ?
ReplyDeleteWith the right conditions and the right motivation, no - it is not too much. My husband is proof. It does depend in your situation and other variables. 5 years ago, it would have been too much for him.
DeleteThe variables are very important. I live on an 1/8th of an acre. The lawn can be cut in 45 minutes. I work full time and I'm also responsible for house, and car maintenance and cleaning. That doesn't mean I can't pay others to complete these jobs. I just must also pay my share of bills. Sacrificing time vs money to please my wife is just about budgeting pre-planning and being ready to adapt to changes. I work only 5 miles from my home, weather permitting I ride a bike to work. If I can ride every day I save $50 in gas. That frees up $50 to help me fulfill my responsibilities.
DeleteAlso, think outside the box. Surprising her with a nice night out means less dishes and kitchen clean up for you. Extra time with her for you. Also she gets pampered and treated like the goddess she is. You probably won't perform every oil change, or car wash but if you do that's extra money saved. If you don't do it you save a little time for other things. Stay organized and if circumstances change, make adjustments. You do it all the time.
DeleteWhile I do have rule number eight well learned, and in practice. This list has given me a couple of areas to think about where I perhaps could improve upon. Thank you Mz Kaylee.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteGoogle translation
ReplyDeleteThank you Madam for this very nice post.
I also think that the main role of a submissive is to give the opportunity to his Mistress to flourish, professionally, socially and as a couple.
Freeing her from household chores gives her the time and strength to invest in her work. At home, it's giving her time to rest so that she can better invest in her relationship. Finally, it is to give her, through the obedience of the submissive, the confidence in Her so that She always asserts herself more.
Cleaning and ironing are not chores but pride for the submissive.
Michel
Hi Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteI have only recently discovered your blog, and have read through much of the archives, which I have greatly enjoyed, and I do so would admire it and you.
I am a writer of erotic literature, who specializes in Femdom, D/s love stories. Using a wide variety of different scenarios, characters, and points of view, my stories fictionally explore many of the concepts and ideas that you also do so very well in your blog. I have no other way to contact you to send you a sample of my writing, but if you may possibly be inclined to read any of it, all of my stories are posted on the Literotica website, under my author pen name, Onewhoadores. My personal favorite story is the rather longish, multipart story, ‘A Perfect Match’, followed by its multi-part sequel, ‘A Perfect Life’. But if you’d rather try a short sample, I would possibly suggest my one part story ‘Redemption’.
This is probably all very presumptuous on my part, and if so, please forgive me. But I do think that if you have any interest in fictional depictions of the lifestyle, you might enjoy at least some of my takes on it in my stories.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and my best wishes to you and to the continued excellence of your blog.
Onewhoadores
This was a different time, when most women did not work outside the home. Totally irrelevant in today's world.
ReplyDeleteWomen didn't work outside the home then, but they do now. Increasingly, men are giving up low-paying jobs to stay at home keeping house. This is the situation in my home. At my insistence David husband David quit his job to become a full time housekeeper. It took a bit of training but he now does and effective job as a housekeeper for me, my mother, and even for three of my girlfriends. The points made in the 50s article readily translate to today's 'stay-at-home man.
DeleteDebbie
I enjoy cooking. Nothings is more satisfying to share a delicious meal with my girlfriend. She usually relaxes on the sofa and watches TV while I clean the kitchen afterwards. I even like doing housework. It gives me a good feeling to walk into every room of my home to see everything clean and put away in its place. My girlfriend often tells other people how sparkling clean my kitchen and bathrooms are. She hates to clean the bathrooms at her house so I do that for her on the weekends.
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