Below are what I consider my top 5 most effective techniques for leading my WLM and controlling my husband. They raise to the top of my list because of how impactful they have been to both my husband and I and because of the longevity of my use of them. All of these techniques are still being used by me. For each item, I have included a link to a post where I have written about the technique.Enjoy!
#5 Corner Time:
https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2019/06/corner-time.html
I did not incorporate corner time until later in my WLM and I wish I did it sooner. It's effective for both disciplining Thomas and for keeping him focused on serving me. It's also very easy for me to administer, which is an added bonus. A weekly corner time ritual where Thomas kneels quietly in the corner, helps Thomas meditate and refocus on serving me for the upcoming week. Since I incorporated corner time, he has had less incidents of straying from his chores and his proper submissive attitude. It helps him feel controlled even during the weeks when I am busy and have less time to give him attention.
#4 Panties:
https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-magic-of-panties.html
I recognize this is not for everyone, but for our WLM panties have had a tremendous impact on Thomas, making it to #4 on the list. It was early in our WLM when Thomas confessed he desire to be "forced" to wear panties. I thought it was strange and to be honest, was not thrilled about it. However, every so often I would order him into panties for fun and to appease his desire. It felt weird at first but I was shocked at how aroused and submissive he became when slipping on panties. He was very docile and willing to do whatever I wanted. Once I realized the power I had over him when he was in panties, I began to order him into them more often. I used them as a post-punishment tool to push him into submission and stay focused on serving me. Then I began to order him to wear them on certain days each week and eventually I had him toss all his boy underwear and go to panties 24/7. Later I purchased several pairs of sissy panties, which have an even bigger impact on his psyche. Over the years panties have softened the manly ego in my husband and have served as a constant reminder of his submission to me. I love that he still gets very aroused when I watch him slip on a pair, when I tease him about being girly, or when I take him shopping for a new pair. It is cute to see him struggle to not get aroused in the store.
#3 Boot Camp:
https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2019/10/submissive-craving-boot-camp.html
My fellow Female Goddesses. if you have not read my posts on Boot Camp, then I highly recommend you find them and read them. I did not know what to expect when I planned my first Boot Camp for Thomas a few years ago. It turned out to be a great training tool for Thomas and also a "domination booster" for me. Boot Camp incorporated a lot of fun fantasy domination that was more intense than what I typically do. For Thomas it checked several boxes of the male submissive fantasy and so it was a dream come true for him. For me, it allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and experiment with domination. By the end of the week I was much more comfortable in my domination and more confident. It opened my eyes to a new realm of possibilities in the WLM. For example, during Boot Camp, when we were inside, Thomas was only allowed to wear a collar and cuffs and a cock ring. He spent most of the week in this outfit. We could not do this at home because of the kids. Turns out, I really liked having him this way serving me. At the time, it was only a few months until my youngest was going to head off to college. I made a decision then, that once the youngest was out of the house, Thomas would be wearing only collar and cuffs around the house on certain nights. When the time came, I think Thomas was shocked when I laid down the new rules. I am enjoying seeing his scurrying around naked in the house. Since that first Boot Camp, I have conducted a few mini weekend Boot Camps with Thomas and each one has been fun for both of us and has dialed up the fem/dom dynamic on a permanent basis.
#2 Weekly Reviews:
https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2014/08/discipline-vs-punishment.html
This is a great technique on many levels, which is why it sits at #2 on my list. My weekly review sessions are great for discipline, motivation, punishment, and keeping the lines of communication open. Thomas leaves the sessions feeling submissive and focused on obeying me. The weekly cadence of reviews ensures our WLM stays in tact and that my dominance is fresh in his mind. It took me awhile to get into a regular routine of reviews. Prior to me initiating review sessions, I could go weeks before exerting control over Thomas. This would leave him frustrated and would eventually lead to him slacking off on his responsibilities. Our WLM would then go off the rails until one of us spoke out. Once I forced myself to do the weekly reviews, even if only for a few minutes, I noticed more consistent obedience and submission from Thomas. He actually looks forward to the sessions. It was a game changer for our WLM because it added consistency to my dominance over Thomas.
And the #1 Techniques is....... Orgasm Control
https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2016/06/tapping-into-his-submissive-mind-orgasm.html
From day 1 of taking control of Thomas, I took control of his orgasms. The mental impact of orgasm control and denial on men is profound. Orgasm Control gave me power over Thomas and kept him focused on obeying and pleasing me. Through regulation of his orgasms, I can keep him in a perpetually aroused sate-of-mind, which keeps his mind pliable and obedient for me. He knows he must be in good standing with me in order to have any chance for an orgasm or even to have me touch his cock. This authority forces him to do every thing possible to please me in order for him to receive pleasure. Men think about sex all day, every day because of that thing between their legs. When a woman takes control of his cock it forces his mind to focus on her because she now controls the very thing that he is focused on most of the day. She become the focal point of his thoughts and that is a very deep and profound change for him that brings reality to her dominance over him. Orgasm Control is a "must" in a FLR/WLM.
What is in your top 5?
-Mz Kaylee
Corner time - We have an added dimension, that being the use of our 'powder room'. The powder room is a place in our basement where we can confine David for varying periods of time. It's a small block room with a bed, toilet, and sink. There is an internal light but an external light switch that overrides his switch allowing us to 'keep him in the dark” if we desire. The room has two cameras do we can remotely monitor his activities. David is always nude in the powder room. Before the powder room there's discipline that might include spanking, kneeling on rice, standing outside in the cold, and so on. The room is a great place for him to meditate or reflect on bad behavior, and so on. It's also a great place to 'park' David if I just want him out of the way, like when I have a guy over.
ReplyDeletePanties - Panties are mandatory for David - no exceptions! In addition when he's doing chores at home, at my mothers or for one of my girlfriends David MUST wear an apron and a pair of women's shoes. Ballet flats are acceptable - no mandatory - before he enters another woman's home.
Weekly reviews - Mother or I conduct weekly reviews of David's domestic performance. He considers these to be useful as do mother and I.
Cuckolding - I cuckold David and regularly see other men. David is a fantastic housekeeper but he's really lacking in the bedroom.
Debbie
I love the powder room Debbie. You've share that idea with me previously and thought it was ingenious!
Delete5-Rituals and protocols-When under discipline or in chastity, husband must address me as "Ma'am" or "Miss Cecilie". Certain signs go up in the house and other things he must do.
ReplyDelete4-Corner time-Husband must be in the corner and stay there at the time I decree before the Disciplinary Session begins. I also have him in the corner after a Disciplinary Session
3-Scheduled Disciplinary Sessions-Our schedules don't always allow for immediate discipline when husband disobeys me. Scheduling them has an added benefit of having him think about his disobedience and what he's going to suffer for it.
2-Chastity-Keeps My property mine and away from unauthorized touches. It also makes him more likely to obey other requirements in hopes I'll release him.
1-Dressing. I don't just put him in panties, I go all the way: bras, garter belts, stockings, heels, petticoats and so called :"sissy dresses". Yes, I put him in some big girl lingerie even though I also put him in little girl dresses. Sometimes I substitute business dress and lingerie. It make him more submissive. Instead of arguing, when he's dressed, he's begging and pleading.
Those are excellent ways to keep your husband respectful and submissive, Miss Cecilia. Especially making him wait to be punished so he is continually thinking about his bad behavior and his impending pain. The chastity keeps him focused on always pleasing you. Were you dominant from the beginning of your marriage or did he ask for it?
DeleteI Introduced him to it but we weren't like that in the beginning. We aren't 24/7 lifestyle in this. Still, if I decree discipline or chastity, it happens.
DeleteThanks for sharing Miss Cecillia. Fantastic list!
DeleteDoes David cook for you and your Mom and give you pedicures and manicures? Do you make him serve your boyfriends too? How does he feel about being cuckolded? I imagine he feels very inadequate and humiliated? Does he wish you didn’t sleep with other men? Was it like that from the beginning of your marriage? What were your marriage vows? Did you make him sign a marriage contract? Do you let David give you oral pleasure after you are finished with a boyfriend? How often do you let him orgasm?
ReplyDeleteToo many questions, but -
ReplyDeleteDavid neither cooks nor takes care of our nails although I'm considering sending him to study for a nail-tech certification
David has absolutely nothing to do with my boyfriends. What I do is my business and my business alone.
David is accepting of my having boyfriends. He is aware of his sexual inadequaties and has told my mother that he's grateful that I have lovers who satisfy me where he can't.
Thank you for answering some of my questions, Miss Debbie. I am fascinated by the authority and control that you and your Mom have over your husband. Your marriage is like a 1950s marriage but with the male and female roles switched. It obviously works well for your marriage and many other marriages.
DeleteMy top 5 list for keeping the magic happening in our FLR marriage. I had to group several items together because they are all so important to us, and our all key to maintaining the relationship in the way we both now enjoy.
ReplyDelete5)Panties/Journaling/Household tasks. I know its three, but I feel that all three of these share equally in their frequency and importance in keeping him in the proper frame of mind. He wears his panties daily and he now writes in his journal daily. He does his chores daily. All three of these served up daily keep his mind in that wonderful state of mushiness that he needs. These are the bread and butter items which keeps his juices flowing at all times and makes him more receptive to what follows.
4)Discipline. He needs and thrives on routine discipline from me. A good belting once a week or every two weeks or so, seems to do the trick with him. This makes him more compliant to our game plan and puts him back on track when he begins to stray for whatever reason. With my husband, he desires this heavy physical hand from me occasionally. He needs the occasional subjugation, the putting in his place, his te
3)Pegging. What could physically be a greater symbol of my wifely dominance over him? What could be a greater symbol of his total submission to me? There is no denying who is on the receiving end and who is on the giving end. There is no denying his own never ending dismay and embarrassment that he gets a sexual thrill from being on the receiving end of my cock. Quite frequently, I am able to milk his prostate while pegging him, so the proof of his “enjoyment” is all there in plain sight for him and me. Its a constant sort of angst…. and pleasure for him. I thoroughly enjoy witnessing and causing this dismay, this quandary in his mind. This has really evolved as one of those truly wonderful weird things in our relationship. Its a punishment, its a reward, its a complete re-centering of his submissive mental self, its embarrassing, its a sexual release. Its all of these things at the same time to him and much more. I’m not sure how to fully describe it with any accuracy. Its a very multi-dimensional for us both.
2)Chastity and Orgasm Control. Again two together, but in our house they go together 98% of the time, when you have one you really have the other. Only rarely will he fully orgasm while wearing or not wearing his chastity device so they are sort of one in the same for us. If hes wearing, it pretty much means hes practicing active orgasm control. Since he only gets 3 normal, chastity free orgasms a year, that also again pretty much means these should go together in our household. Rationing his orgasms severely keeps him where we both need him to be. This is the binding ingredient which makes everything mesh and stay together.
1)Worshiping at my temple - oral sex. This really punches his submission and mushy feelings into high gear. He craves the scent and physical interaction when his face is nestled between my legs. This puts him mentally into all of the right places which satisfies his hunger. If I deny him my pussy, its a punishment, he really does see it that way. It’s how he gets to demonstrate that he is still a man to me, the one who can provide that ultimate pleasure to me. He takes immense pride in his ability to do so. This really is his daily release of emotions and pent up physical and sexual energy, its all their on the tip of his tongue as he makes me dance.
Only the top 5 AJ! Ha! ha! All great things on your list. So much structure and regular activities to keep you man feeling submissive and obedient to you. I do think having structure, consistency, and routines are key to an obedient sub.
DeleteSubjugation through structure and routine gives submissive men arousal with little effort from the female, as it should be. She just needs to through in a few random remarks and touched to keep him running like the energizer bunny.
DeleteA very interesting post. As I ruminate over our own life, I am listing the ways I control and subjugate my hubby.
ReplyDelete1 He is always nude and his pubes shaved smooth as a baby. Nudity at home is mandatory. While outside panties and bra are a must. The former can be easily hidden, while the latter is tougher. He has to wear heavy clothes to prevent the bra from showing and sometimes an outile is visiible upon close inspection. It keeps him alert, a bit nervous and careful. Sometimes I just tug his back strap and he finches as it snaps back wondering if anyone has noticed.
2 I do conduct weekly reviews of his attitude, behaviour and work - such as washing my lingerie, cleaning the bath and toilets. I do not make him kneel. I prefer he sits at my feet kissing, kicking or massaging them till I finish. In fact he is never allowed to sit on furniture except when we have vanilla visitors.
3 After review, he is either rewarded for good behaviour, asked to ponder over ways for self improvement or punished for correction. Punishment is spanking till he starts crying and sobbing. When required to ponder, I lock him in a large cage, where he is forced to be on all fours and sometimes, cover the cage with a blanket to keep him in darkness. The duration may vary at my discretion and he does not know his confinement time till released. There is water in a bowl and a pug to pee for him. Once released he has to sit at my feet and explain how he intends to improve his service and devotion to me. The longest cage time has been 90 minutes and he was literally crying and shivering when released, kissing and locking my feet in gratitude.
4 Our lifestyle is known to and approved by my younger divorced sister. Hubby has to obey her and she goes to great lengths to enjoy her visits. Sometimes she puts him in nappies, and often makes him beg for permission to pee or defecate. Bottle feeding is routine and she intends to have a friend of hers breastfeed hubby. I look forward to see him humiliated and nursed as a baby.
5 Occasionally, I cuckold hubby. I have a boyfriend living a few states away. When he visits , hubby serves us, including clean up duty upon both of us. I have not yet made hubby sick his cock , although I know he will obey if asked to.
6 My husband's name is Steve. I only call him Eve or Evie even in public. On a few times, people have asked me and I reply saying that perhaps they misheard me , saying I said stevie and they heard Evie! Evil gets red in the face when this happens and I smile at her embarrassment. It helps keeping him on a short leash. Initially he would protest until I threatened to start calling him girl or girlie. He preferred Eve and Evie!
Love
Asha
I enjoyed your list Asha. I find with my husband that the pondering on self-improvement and how to do better is a very powerful tool. Although I do not use a cage (I like the idea). similar to you, I often do not let my husband know how long he is to kneel in the corner. This is a bit torturous for him and so it is a nice added punishment when he is bad.
DeleteThis is great stuff! Trina's 5:
ReplyDelete5. Corporal punishment: I surprise myself by listing this last, because it is really effective and we do it a lot. But it's because he likes being spanked so much that even though I reduce him to a crying, begging mess, and he does keep the promises he makes, he enjoys the thought of it later.
4. Forced chores and tasks: I never ask him to do anything; I order him. This keeps him constantly in a submissive state. Other people see and here it too, and that makes him even more humble and submissive. I'm the bitch and he's pussy-whipped. OK by me.
3. Grounding and telling his friends he is grounded: He would probably put this No. 1, because it's the thing he hates most and is his most overt and public act of submission. When he has been grounded from a commitment he already made to his friends, he has to call each one and say, "My wife grounded me." When he does so, his upper cheeks are as red as the lower ones ever get from my brush.
2. Chastity/orgasm control: He is locked in chastity when not in my presence (though I occasionally allow an exception), and he may not orgasm without my permission, even when I am stimulating him to the max or when his cock is inside me and he has to exert an incredible level of self-control. Taking control of your husband's orgasm is probably the most powerful proof that he must submit. Maybe it should be number 1, but ...
1. Cunnilingus on demand. Very very few men eat pussy whenever their wife tells them to. Especially when they don't get blowjobs. And seldom get intercourse. And seldom get to cum at all. Usually I let him get naked when his head is between my legs, and he can rub his erect cock on the sheets while he licks me. But of course he is not allowed to cum. He never knows how many orgasms I will want and how long he must keep his tongue moving. To me, this proves how much he loves me and wants to serve me more than any of the others. I will make him give me half a dozen orgasms and then send him off to do some chore that easily could have waited until the next day. And I hear him HUMMING while he is doing the chore ... with a HUGE erection. That proves to me that THIS MAN IS TRAINED!
Trina
1. Cunnilingus on demand. Very very few men eat pussy whenever their wife tells them to. Especially when they don't get blowjobs. And seldom get intercourse. And seldom get to cum at all.
Delete... There might be more than you think - I'm one!
I hear him HUMMING while he is doing the chore ... with a HUGE erection. That proves to me that THIS MAN IS TRAINED!
... It's his penis that's humming - I know the feeling well. I'm indeed trained, and loving every moment!
CK
Not any confusion at Trina’s House.
ReplyDeleteAfter years of conditioning and training do your husbands become totally accustomed to being dependent and needy? They fantasize about a strong controlling wife, is that truly what the wife becomes? Not a game, but a true lifestyle were the wife is in total control and the husband is completely obedient? If so, that’s a huge shift from being raised in a male dominated society to living in a house hold were the wife basically owns the husband and her every need. Not for a weekend of kink, but on going reprogramming on both partys to restructure the relationship and place the wife in a position of total authority. Does this really happen in the end? I hear different levels of intensity but ultimately the wife controls the finances, activities, housework, free time, and obviously sex ,who gets pleasures and how often. The wives adjust to being the head of the household, thrive and enjoy wielding their power plus finding humor in the weakness the husbands have for their feminine ways?
ReplyDeleteYes, it becomes a lifestyle and is not just kink. Yes, there are different level of intensity, which depends on the couple and also the amount of time in the FLR. Typically the intensity increase over time as the wife becomes more experienced with being dominant and the husband is trained to serve her more and more. What the wife controls varies for different couples.
DeleteI feel like I should clarify what I mean by describing my husbands mind as “mush”. What I certainly don’t mean is some sort of mindless brainwashed jello headed puppy dog of a man. I am not our to create that sort of man nor is my husband anything remotely like that. What I do mean is that there is something going on his head in those moments which I am not fully able to identify or fully understand. Maybe more descriptive words could be…
DeleteA certain state of euphoria
An extreme feeling of bliss and total calm
Mentally and emotionally satisfied
At peace with his emotions and spirit
To someone who is not actively in this lifestyle or who is not of a true submissive nature, I know this all must sound so confusing and conflicting. Here we are as women manipulating and controlling our poor hapless men to gain these totally selfish goals in life. People such as my husband are just very altruistic, he just finds extreme joy at bringing happiness and pleasure to his wife. He is an extremely selfless man. He also has this need for control and submission in his life. Our lifestyle has just evolved in this fashion to satisfy these complicated inner needs of himself.
He is a very strong man.
You have to be strong to ask your wife for this type of lifestyle and truly pwalk the walk. No, submissive men are not weak, but do desire a woman that will lead with confidence. Most dominant wives are not born with confidence, that comes over time and experience. It’s not easy for wife or husband at first, but with the right partner it can be like none other.
DeleteYouTube suggested this fascinating Chinese TV show this morning - or rather suggested a video that does a 10 minute summary of the series. The actual series is called 'The Daughter's Kingdom' - a country where Women dominate and men submit.
ReplyDeleteIt has an interesting, although flawed, concept. The Women rule and the men are submissive. Those men who rebel are sent away to a camp to be trained to submit. Has it got your attention yet? The flaw is in that Women who are discovered to show sympathy to men are given a drug that... turns them into men. Bizarrely, if the men, even after training, continue to refuse to submit they are given a drug where they are turned into Women.
I don't think the Chinese have quite entirely grasped the concept of Femdom but it is a start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FjuH7zBcZs
I had a browse of the YouTube channel and it has another video that summarises a Japanese film where gender roles are reversed. A plague has swept Japan killing off most of the males. The Women take over and become dominant. The surviving men are made submissive and feminine. Due to the shortage of men they are prized by Women in order for the Women to have children. The story follows a young Samurai who submits to the training in order to generate money for his poor family.
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RN4EnBg_GI
My husband is in no way dependent or needy. I don't get that comment at all! He has few needs because mine come first and his are subjugated to the point of being nonexistent. And he is very independent! If I am gone for the day, he knows his routine exactly and all the chores get done with no reminders. You are misunderstanding the submissive husband.
DeleteForgot to sign the above. Trina. For some reason I can't comment with my Google account anymore.
DeleteThank you Trina. mr anonymous above does clearly misunderstand this lifestyle. I am a submissive husband and I am in no way dependent and needy. My wife would HATE that! I am a Calle professional, manage our finances, function quite independently in areas outside of our house. At home, I choose to submit to Her authority and sexual superiority because She is my Goddess. We make all major life decisions together, yet I crave Her approval. I do not submit to anyone else and would only do so if She told me to. Edwin
Deletesorry, meant to type ‘capable professional,’ don’t know how/why it got changed :-)
DeleteSorry, I did mean to offend anyone or make negative implications. Should have thought a bit more before I commented. Saying that husbands become needy and dependent was maybe not the correct words for some. Think there is no doubt that being submissive to your wife, especially when it’s laid out in front of others takes a really strong and committed guy. The wives say that they become mush to them because they control many aspects of the husbands lives. Husbands do as they’re told and the wives truly enjoy the control the wield. In the everyday world the husbands are very capable but at home they do as their told from years of this training/conditioning by their wives. Obviously, many husbands do fantasize about this type of lifestyle, but it would be overwhelming in reality if there wasn’t a development period. Many of the wives have stated that it took them time to grow into this new lifestyle, but once they established it just requires maintenance like any other relationship. Think that Ms Kaylee and other wives have pointed out simple things they can do that require very little physical effort on they’re part but are highly effective and on going. What I am impressed with is that thinking and how it seems to mold the husbands. In a traditional marriage that would be seen as manipulation, but in this lifestyle it’s accepted as training your husband and desired by both wives and husbands. Fascinating process that is a lifestyle not some male fantasy.
DeleteEdwin - you make an important distinction of inside and outside the house. Outside the house I want my husband to be strong and independent. However, in the house there is dependence on me and he is needy of my control.
ReplyDeleteTrina - I get where you are going and do agree the the husband should not be completely needy and dependent. That would be very annoying and too much work.. I think a big misconception is that in a WLM, the husband is waiting every second of the day to take orders from the wife (and may guys inappropriately want this). The ideal submissive is one who knows how to please his wife and does what is needed without being told. He is devoted to serving her, pleasing her, and making her happy without being told. However, the reality is that for most people there is some degree of dependence and neediness. My husband is required to seek my permission to spend money outside the usual expenses, to make social arrangements, or to make any decision that is outside the norm. He is dependent on me for those things. Without dependence, there is no FLR/WLM. He is also needy for my control, discipline, and attention. If I become lax with any of those items for a long period of time, then his service and devotion to me falters. I do not take issue with this because my responsibility as the leader of the relationship and owner of him, is to create an environment of discipline, structure, and dominance, that allows him to thrive in his submission to me.
To sum it up, as a person, a submissive is not needy and dependent but in the home there is "some" dependence and neediness.
Mz Kaylee,
DeleteTo me, following rules like having to ask permission for expenditures isn't showing dependence -- it's just following the rules. But I can see how it could be considered dependence.
My husband does need to be spanked and does need a lot of sexual stimulation, but because he gets those things I don't think of him as needy. He doesn't act needy, and I am very glad of that.
Trina
Regarding dependency, I think it would be fair to say that all healthy relationships share a certain amount of mutual dependency. The Dom/sub relationship or WLM is no different. Yes, I depend on my wife for a lot, but not in a whiny, “needy” manner. But, She of course also depends on me for a lot. Let’s be clear, since She is not interested in sex partners outside our marriage, She depends on my oral service for Her pleasure. But more than that, She has become quite used to depending on me to take care of almost all routine household tasks. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it that She depends on me to make Her bed, scrub Her toilet, vacuum the floors of Her car, launder Her clothes, etc. But She has come to depend on me to do these things. We depend on each other. Yet, I would never describe Her as needy. If I was gone, She would do just fine (hopefully She’d miss me :-)). Edwin
DeleteVery true Edwin, my wife is dependent in the same ways you speck of, but she says that’s simply her expectations of her husband. Guess I’m just dependent and she has high expectations, works for us.
DeleteAgree with the anonymous comment. I don't see it as dependence but that the wife expects and demands service from the husband.
DeleteMs Kaylee, Thank you for bringing clarity to my original remarks and wives perspective. Many couples here seem to have wonderful relationships are built on this wonderful dynamic.
ReplyDeleteSo many of the replies sound like male fantasy. All about sexual things. Very few would have a list like this. Are there men here pretending to be women? I think so
ReplyDeleteAs with most things on the internet, whatever you read you have to make some assessment as to whether or not you think it is real. Perhaps there are men pretending to be women, but why waste your time questioning it when you'll never get the truth? If you read something that sounds like BS to you, then just move on or ask probing questions to learn more. Maybe you find out it isn't BS or you confirm that it really is BS. On the other hand If something resonates with you or intrigues you, then give it a try. There is a wide range of methods for how couples live the FLR lifestyle. Some are mild and some are extreme so I would not necessarily write-off something that sounds extreme. When I first started in the lifestyle, so many things sounded extreme to me but now they are part of my lifestyle and seem normal to me.
DeleteWhile a few items in the comments seem questionable to me, most seem reasonable. In the FLR/WLM lifestyle, sexualizing things and playing into the male fantasy are effective methods for controlling the male and getting him to be obedient.
#5 Dressing and teasing. This is new over the last couple years. Before I get dressed, I need to get my wife completely ready first. This involves brushing and braiding her hair, powdering her, laying out her clothes and letting her select them, and then dressing her. During this time I'm naked except for the leather collar and O-ring I sleep in. While I'm working, she'll make it hard for me with teasing and distractions: spanking, pinching, biting my shoulders, grabbing the collar to pull me in for a kiss (rather like that one, actually), calling me her "lady's maid", and putting her feet all over me. Then at the end she'll pull out her phone and ignore me. I have to keep massaging her legs and feet until she's ready to take off the collar and let me dress. By this point I'm so wild with hormones that the last thing I want to do is go down and start working in the kitchen, and she laughs at how dejected I am that she's forcing me to leave her and go work. Incredible power dynamic, first thing in the morning.
ReplyDelete#4 Summoning. My wife expects me to appear any time she calls, or coughs, or clears her throat, or rings a bell. Of course sometimes she does these things for reasons unrelated to calling me, but she still wants me to appear just so she can dismiss me with a wave of her hand. "Oh, sorry, that was a real cough."
#3 Mandatory pedicure display. It's been a half-dozen years since she started requiring me to give pedicures to both of us, and take off my shoes the moment I enter the house. When we started out and had more of a switching dynamic, making a woman do housework while barefoot was a common element of my dominant side, so forcing me to *be* the one who is always barefoot in the kitchen and show off pretty feminine toes all the time is a way to reverse the fetish by making me become the object of it. This is a powerful symbolic method of making me "change gears" from being fairly dominant at work and church (where I have leadership roles) to being submissive at home.
#2 Public embarrassment. Almost never used, but the handful of times she's done it really stick in my memory. When she has friends over for an event or party I'm usually in the background, cleaning the kitchen or setting out food. If she calls me into the room to bring her a drink or something, I'm always terrified she'll make me go to the center of the room and talk to them about something silly I've done or make me show off the frilly apron I'm wearing or something like that. ("Oh, look, he's blushing. Don't feel bad, he actually enjoys it when I treat him like this. Watch how he's about to kiss me when I finally let him stop standing there." etc) Fear of this happening goes a long way to keeping me obedient.
#1 Permanent chastity caging. This started about three years ago, and represented the transition away from a "bedroom play" relationship with some switching to a "domestic servitude" relationship focused on my wife's needs only. I'm let out of a very small chastity cage only a couple times a year for short medical appointments, and the only orgasms I'm allowed are from prostate milking (which I find very uncomfortable and humiliating and try to avoid as long as possible). I'm not allowed to complain about being kept permanently in chastity, and am expected to tell my wife how much happier and more passionate our marriage has gotten since this started. (The answer is "A LOT better." I always tremble and whimper and bite my lip when I have to admit it to her out loud, but there's no way to deny it.)
If I could add a #6, I'd mention the idea of a "double orgasm". My wife gets sex a few times a month, but typically wants them to be doubles. The first one is oral sex as mentioned by others above, and then the second is me sitting and watching her, while I talk to her about how frustrated I am and how much I enjoy serving her all day. The message is that she's "having both our orgasms for herself and making me watch".
DeleteImpossible to understate how powerful these techniques can be. Each of them were introduced one at a time gradually over many years of marriage, and they added up to a huge transformation. At 25 I was fantasizing about having a big house full of sexy, exotic, and compliant chambermaids I could tie up and spank. By 45, I found myself somehow in this gender-reversed 50s housewife role that revolves around doing chores in exchange for zero sex being constantly teased by the kind of bossy girl I used to dislike, and yet I'm 10 times happier than I ever was before. Still seems crazy and hard to believe, like something that could be only explained by magic or mind control. So grateful I stumbled into all this crazy stuff.
It seems like magic to wives, too, at least to this one. It certainly is mind control, both ways to my thinking. The wife takes control, but the husband also gives up control willingly, even if he doesn't realize it. While I do think "pussy power" is becoming more of a thing, the vast majority of women have no idea how much power they could have ... until their want-to-be submissive husbands tell them!
ReplyDeleteTrina
Agree Trina. It is a wild dynamic that is hard to understand until you dive into it. More women need to embrace their feminine power. The reason I started this blog was to spread the word and hopefully get more women into this wonderful and amazing lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteDear Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteI would add two things to your list. Firstly, my wife affords me the privilege on some days of choosing and laying out her clothes for the day and then dressing her. It's very much a ritual where I will get everything reading while she has a shower. She knows I am obsessed about dresses and tights/pantyhose so it is usually on days where she wants to wear a dress/skirt and not leggings or jeans. Secondly, she allows me to nurse at her boob. My time on the boob is really important to me. It allows me to relax, calm down and connect with my wife. This connected with orgasm control (none since October😔), my weekly review and corner time (it's called Reflection Time in our house!) would be the five categories my wife uses. Things she won't do are pegging (what's in it for me? she says), and cuckolding.
Sissy Jenna
My Queen doesn't like the word panties for my underwear even if they are actually women's or her panties. Any suggestions for another thing to call them?
ReplyDeleteAs someone looking for information, why is there so much fascination with chastity and male orgasm control? It appears to me to be rather cruel and not very enjoyable as a man to have done to you. This item really scares me off from suggesting this kind of relationship style even though my partner is very capable of leading in many areas.
ReplyDeleteHello Mz Kaylee, I have translated into spanish this post too. I think it's very useful for the submissives learn how we should behave.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want that I translate yur post, please tell me, and I remove it.
Thank you.
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