The Sex Life of a Denied Man/Man in Chastity

In the last post AJ shared that she keeps her husband in chastity 24/7 and that she does things regularly to keep it from getting boring from him. Below is a quote from one of her comments that is excellent advice:

"You can't just throw a man into chastity and then seemingly completely forget about the dilemma that this man and your penis are incurring for you as result of that lock up."

I do not keep my husband in chastity but I do practice orgasm control with him and the same advice applies to my situation. When a man is in chastity or is being denied orgasm over a prolonged period of time, it affects his emotions on a daily basis. It's widely known that men have many sexual thoughts and experience some sort of arousal on a daily basis. Combine that with chastity or denial and you've got quite an emotional struggle going on in his mind (and his pants 😃). It is important that us Leaders recognize this and do things to stay engaged with that emotion.

Early in our FLR, my husband shared with me that he enjoys when I require him to wear panties and all the "girl" teasing that I often do that goes along with it, but simply wearing panties on his own was no desire of his. In other words, absent my involvement and attention, there would be no desire or enjoyment in wearing panties. This was an important learning point for me and the same message that AJ is conveying with chastity. Submissive men crave our attention, our authority, and our control over them. This is why they agree to be put in chastity and agree to orgasm control.The experience of having a women have reign over their sex in order to manipulate them (the man) and control them is the mind fuck the men desire.  

The irony here is that when done right, a locked up/denied man is motivated to obey and please his wife. Even more irony is that men in these situations usually have a much more exciting sex life than a man in a traditional marriage, especially after many years of marriage. We have been married for 20+ years and our sex life couldn't be better. After incorporating orgasm control into our marriage, I am much more in tune with my husband's sex drive and arousal. Our "Sex life" has become much more than the physical act of intercourse. There is a lot of mental stimulation at play now. I can get his arousal flowing with just a few words or even the right look and body language. He may only get a few orgasms a year, but in between there is lots of cock teasing and bringing him to the edge of orgasm over and over again. It goes beyond the bedroom -a little rub here and there throughout the day does wonders. Then there's the privilege of pleasuring me. His tongue gets a good workout; I guarantee you it is much more than he would experience if we were still in a traditional marriage.  His arousal is at a peak when he is done satisfying me, which is proof that he loves it. 

It is imperative that you do not forget about your man's predicament or take it for granted. It is easy to do when you are busy.  You can choose not to give him attention because of other things going on.  However, know that when he is busy he has no choice but to live with his situation and when there is nothing reciprocal coming from you, it can be depressing and discouraging for him, which ultimately creates a bad situation for you. It only takes a few minutes to give a little tease or some attention. Showing attention is not all about the sex either. Other things to get his attention include: a firm order to do something, calling him slave or his pet name, telling him "good boy", noticing that he did something right, or noticing that he did not do something to your expectations. Those knee deep into orgasm control know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you new to orgasm control or FLR, you may be dismissing the need for attention. Trust me, it works. An aroused man under your control is like a little kid and desires to hear "good boy" from you and even desires to be corrected by you. These things motivate him to do please you. I never fully understood it until I tried it myself. 

All these things are simple to do and only take a few minutes, or even seconds out of your day but have a big impact on him. They do not replace all the other components of a successful FLR, but they are the filler in between to keep him motivated to serving and obeying you and being an excellent submissive husband. Try to focus on incorporating a few of these things during each week. If you make a concerted effort to do this for a few weeks, it will soon become a natural part of your lifestyle and you will be motivating him without even thinking about it.

In Conclusion.....If you hear of a man in chastity or being denied orgasm, do not feel sorry for him. Instead be happy for him and know that he is a lucky man. Be happy for his wife and know that she is in charge and a true Goddess to her husband. If you should decide to give it a try yourself (I highly recommend it), lock him up but do not throw away the key.  

-Kaylee

P.s. I am looking for both men and women to submit guest posts.  If you would like to submit a post or run an idea by me, e-mail to MzKaylee101@gmail.com.