Getting Started in a FLR (by Debbie)

Below is a guest post from Debbie with advice on how to get started in a FLR.  I read through it and think her advice provides great guidelines for moving forward in a FLR.  Thanks Debbie for your contribution. -Mz Kaylee

Many women ask how to get started in an FLR, especially when they see how obedient and loving David is to me and to women he encounters at home and in work. Many men crave having a woman in charge but are afraid to raise the issue. Women often sense a man's submissive inclinations but fail to seize the opportunity to take control. How does one put the wheels in motion? Well, in every situation we've encountered it's the woman who recognizes her submissive husband's desires and takes charge. A woman friend, Diane, seeing how well David behaved and told me she wished her Jim would be better behaved. Sensing that Jim had submissive tendencies, I told her that all she had to do was assert herself and I could almost guarantee that she and Jim would be on the path to an FLR, Based on my experience with other couples and with my David I gave her some advice and even had David come in and attest to his complete satisfaction with my being in absolute control.

Girls, start small and as he acclimates to your authority accelerate the pace of your control. In our case David, like most men, is excited at the prospect of my having control. I was excited when David told me he wanted structure and routine in the relationship and I was only too happy to oblige him! I immediately started putting a set of rules in place. What kind of rules? Well consider the following:

1) Obedience - David recognizes that I am in charge and have ultimate authority. I may, MAY! consider his opinion but I am the ultimate authority and will make all decisions if I so choose. I give orders; I don't make suggestions or give choices. I order, he obeys!

2) Deference - David shows women respect and deference, not only at home or with relatives or friends but outside the home, too, in public and at work. It's “Yes, Ma'am” or “No, Ma'am”, NEVER “Yeah” or “No”. Women are to be addressed a “Madame” - We don't use 'Mistress' since I consider that to be the stuff of male fantasies and not conducive of an FLR. His deference extends to my family and girlfriends. He learned how each woman wanted to be addressed and complies with their wishes. My sister is Ms. Charon and my girlfriend, Paula, is Ms. Paula. Madam is always appropriate, for example, Madame Paula.

3) Housework - David was put on notice that he would eventually be doing ALL the housework, wash, iron, clean, vacuum, look after my wardrobe, and so on, Women have to invest some time instructing their man on how to do housework but it's a good investment on their part. David, as are most submissive men, was a quick learner and in short order he had a regular routine of housework that he loved. It took surprisingly little time before he was not only doing housework but doing it to my complete satisfaction! As he mastered household tasks I added more, a prospect that excited him. I don't do housework any more; my submissive hubby does it all! YES, ALL of it. He has a set routine of work every day of the week that includes serving me, my family, and my woman friends. I allow David some free time every day but ONLY if his housework is done. You can imagine what his doing housework does for me; I can relax, read, watch TV, go out with my girlfriends, or date - yes, I date. I decided to start dating when one of the guys in the office started asking me out - David has no say in the matter.

4) Finances - I advise women contemplating an FLR to quickly take control of the couple's finances; doing so will solidify your absolute control! More on this later in a post that I will dedicate to this important aspect of an FLR.

5) Discipline. Women should accept the fact that, from time-to-time, they will have to discipline their husbands. Women do themselves AND their husbands a favor when they administer discipline, but more on this in a future post.

6) His friends and leisure activities - Women should be in absolute control of her man's hobbies, friends, and outside activities. Women are sometime reluctant to exert control but her doing so is beneficial to the FLR. You don't want hubby going out with 'the boys' and having bad patriarchal attitudes undoing the rules and routines you've spent so much time putting in place. Again, more in a future post.

His reward? Know he is pleasing me and living a rich, submissive lifestyle. You'll be amazed at all you can accomplish in a short time.

Debbie

The Magic of Panties

Men are fascinated with our panties. There is something magical about panties when it comes to men. From young boys all the way up to old men, a simple glimpse of a woman's panties stirs their arousal and can set off fantasies. How many men have been caught stealing panties? Just for fun I googled it and there were pages of news stories about men caught stealing and sniffing panties. There certainly is no shortage of "upskirt" pictures on the web. It seems that men are dying to see, feel, and yes, even sniff our panties.

A sexy pair of panties in the bedroom can drive a man wild. My husband's eyes are always glued to me when I walk around in panties and bra but there are a few pairs that really grab his attention. His favorites are the shiny silk or satin panties and panties with lacy bottoms. The right pair of panties will most definitely increase your sex appeal and draw your man's attention to you.

Knowing that men are drawn to panties...what is a woman to do with that power? There are many fun things you can do to tap into this fascination that men have with panties.

Stroke his cock with panties
Wrapping a soft or silky pair of panties around his cock and stroking away will certainly elevate his arousal. The magic of panties makes the teasing so much more exciting for him. Having him finish in them is an extra treat for him but be sure to make him hand wash them to clean up his mess. What really drives my husband crazy is when I lightly drag them across his balls and cock over and over again. It's fun to watch his cock twitch as I tease him with the soft fabric.

Condition him to respond to panties
I get a thrill out of conditioning my husband to naturally respond to things; like the Pavlov's dog effect.For example, I've conditioned my husband to get aroused when he comes to give me a foot massage. An idea to try with panties is to only allow him to cum when he's being stroked with panties and use the same pair of panties each time you are going to allow him to cum. Now you can be direct with him and let him know that he will only be allowed to cum when being stroked by those panties but I think it's more fun to let him figure it out on his own. After cumming into panties a few times, he's sure to associate the panties with an orgasm for him. Once that connection is made, let the fun begin! Try leaving the panties lying around in the open and quietly watch his behavior. I bet his eyes drift to them several times. He may even comment on them, hoping that an orgasm is on its way. Another thing you can do is to secretly give them to him when you are out in public and say something like "Don't lose these. We are going to need them for later." It's sure to drive him wild.

Secret panty exchange
That is a good lead into the next idea: Have you ever heard of anyone who slipped off their panties in public and secretly handed them to their boyfriend. I knew a girl who did this in college at a banquet.  It may have been done secretly but but by the end of the night the guys in the room knew about it and were envious. To the guys, there was something exciting, naughty, and sexy about what transpired.  Her boyfriend followed her around like a puppy dog the rest of the night. He could not wait to go him with her. Oh the things kids do! Why not be a kid again, and give the secret panty exchange a try.

Make him sniff your panties
Next let's talk about our panty sniffing men. My guess is that pretty much encompasses every man. Yes, ladies, as disgusting as it may sound, men want to smell our panties. You can bet that your husband has probably secretly sniffed yours at some point. A pair of used panties is like gold to them. Men even pay women to send them their used panties. It brings out the animal in men. The scent of our sex and knowing that the delicate fabric was rubbing our most private area is enough to drive them wild. Now that you know this, it's time to have fun with it. Slide your panties over his head and order him to inhale your scent. There are two scenes you can play out here to tap into his submissive mind. One is to tease that he is a dirty, naughty boy for wanting to sniff your panties and getting excited by it. You can tease at how your sex makes him weak and the more he breathes in your scent, the weaker he becomes and the more he falls under you control He will love it! You may even decide to punish (playfully) him for being so naughty.

The other approach, which I like the most, is to view his sniffing habit as a form of worship. He is worshipping you and your feminine power through inhaling your sexual scent. The more he inhales the deeper his devotion to you becomes and the more he falls under your power. I can toss a pair of my panties to my husband and order him to worship them and he knows what to do. There is strong symbolism at work here, which will take him into deep submission. There are many ways you can incorporate panty sniffing into your relationship.  During sexual play you can order him to sniff or you can place them over his head yourself. He can wear them over his head in just about any situation including kneeling before you, during a punishment, while you tease him, or while sleeping. Sometimes when my husband goes on an overnight business trip, I will slip a pair of my used panties into his suitcase as a treat with a note ordering him to worship daily. If you have any rituals, panty sniffing can be incorporated into the ritual. If you have never forced your husband to worship your panties, you must give it a try! No matter how crazy it sounds, this is one of those things that drive all men wild, even if they are not submissive. You will surely have him under your spell.

Gag him!
Something else you can do is gag him with your panties. Push them into his mouth and order him to keep quiet.  This can be done while you tease him, as part of a punishment or simply when you want him to be quiet.  Again, the symbolism hear is strong.  Having your used panties with the scent of your sex on them, shoved into his mouth can be quite a power trip and push him deep into submission.

Have him hand wash your panties
When it comes to his panties, he always has to hand wash them. No boy panties are allowed in my laundry; house rules.  From time-to-time I will require him to hand wash my panties. I see this as another from of worship. I like to make it a daily ritual. I will either drop my panties on the floor and he has to fetch them before he goes to bed or I will make him pull them off me. He must hand wash them before he goes to bed and hang them to dry. A few times, instead of the daily routine, I've ordered him to dig through the dirty laundry and pull out all my panties and hand wash them. I like doing this after I've teased and denied him so he's nice and horny while he does it.

Make him wear panties
Finally, the last idea I'd like to mention about panties is to force him into a pair.  This is where there is real magic for many men.  I've seen it with my husband. Every time he slips on a pair for me, he gets a small erection.  All I have to do is tell him how cute he looks in them and his erections grows. When he wears panties he becomes quiet and docile. It's amazing the effect it has on him. I can not explain it. You can make him wear them in the bedroom just for fun or you can have him wear them under his clothes during the day. I have a special pair he has to where whenever he is punished. I will make him wear them for several days after the punishment.  the idea that this is something you can do on occasion for fun or something that can be required on a daily basis. With Thomas I started out just doing it occasionally but once I started realizing the effect they had on him, his panty wearing became more frequent.  Let's just say now he spend  much more time in panties during the year then in his boring boy underwear.

I've written a post about putting your man in panties so I will not go into the details here.  I'll just leave you with a few tips:

• The more pretty and feminine the panties the better. A nice silk bow on the back is a nice touch.  As the girly factor goes up, it squashes his mail ego more and pushes him deeper into submission. Thomas has a much sexier collection of panties than I do.
• Thongs are great for punishments because his ass is exposed and so you can spank him while he wears them.  The string up his ass is also a great reminder during the day that he is being punished and needs to improve his behavior
• If you are going to have him in panties on a regular basis, be sure to get him many different styles that hug his body in different ways.  This keeps him from getting used to a particular pair.  If he gets too used to a pair, the effect of panties wears off.  During the winter, mix in a pair of panty hose just for fun.  The tightness all over his feet and legs will certainly have an effect on him.

To my fellow Goddesses, be sure to use the magic of panties to seduce and control your husband. Spend more time in them in front of him. If you are feeling adventurous give one of the ideas above a try. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.  Please share your experiences with this.

Mz Kaylee