Excerpt from my e-mail from Mary:
What I did NOT realize and still am figuring out is that it (cuckolding) gave him deep emotions like nothing I have ever seen. I think it has surprised him as well.
At first it was more of a "this might be fun and he is okay with it". What has emerged is much more than that. First of all - yes! It is definitely fun. But the dicey area is how would this play out. I had half thought that this might be a "one and done" sort of thing. What I found is that instead of an angry or alienated husband (when I came home) - I found him super engaged, curious, nervous, shy, excited, embarrassed and who knows what else. He has talked to me about his emotions around this. He says it is unlike anything he has ever experienced in his entire life. He said it is deep, complicated and feels (as he put it) like "landing on Mars".
I have sort of "checked" his emotional state closely along the way. Again, my general expectation is I would need end this fairly quickly and that it would be "checked off" as a bit of out of the box fun - contemporary/modern day craziness. It was that. But it has become more. I think the way to say it is - I have learned to "involve him". I am not into "threesomes" with these two (at least not at this time it just does not appeal). I also have kept him very separate from my boyfriend. (I know that this may go differently with some women who are into this).
But for me it has been a total separation between husband and boyfriend - at least physically.
What I have learned is that there is something 'in this' for my husband. Honestly - I think he initially found that embarrassing - that it was "ok" with him. I think it makes him nervous but I also think that is part of the thrill. I also think it feels like the ultimate submission to him. It is like other things (forms of submission to me) but way more so. Humbling. I mean good god!
Really?!
So, I have basically found (to my surprise) that the more I share with him the better. That does not mean that there is not a part of this that is totally between me and my boyfriend - there definitely is. However, I have found emotionally pulling my husband "in" before and after is a crazy and amazing thing. Before it is simple things - where we are going, will anyone else be there, what sort of venue, and me getting dressed - me "prepping" is a big deal. At first I did not get it. But now I realize it has become a "thing". He gets washed with emotions. Excitement, fear, embarrassment, lust, etc. etc. Kaylee, it is VERY wild to see. In the beginning I had to "reassure" a lot. - "it is okay" "I won't be gone that long", "you have things to do". Now that is different. Now that I see how it is and it has become more "normal" ("normal" maybe a stretch, lol!).
But the wildest part is when I return. Usually same night but not always. Kaylee, this is crazy. I don't totally know what is going on here. My husband and I have absolutely some of the best sex I have, ever, ever, ever, had when I return. It is usually pretty "role reversal submissive/dominant" kind of sex - but it is really, really, satisfying. He eats me like a starving man. Literally starving. He usually enjoys eating me. But this is like he is STARVING and literally cannot get enough. He would do it for hours and has come on the carpet while eating me like this! (without me laying a finger on him!!).
So - what this is? I don't know. I have learned to "share more". I had to learn that this was "good/ok". But it is. I literally tell him about it. All about it. It has become a "ritual" after I return.
Like the man WAITS for it. I did not totally get this at first. I sort of got it. But I am telling you - it is like a total "thing" for him.
There are two other things I realized. Him "liking this" (loving it?) does not mean it is not humiliating to him. I asked him about that quite directly. He cannot really explain it. He says he feels in a way it is "increasing" for him - meaning the excitement and the humiliation are blending and all one big emotional "thing". He CLEARLY is excited about it but also nervous, shy, embarrassed. Wild how it all is.
Lastly - some of our very, very, deepest emotional connections have been "afterwards". He literally clings to me and after we spend some time together it is like he wants to do all he can for me.
This topic and culture has been a huge interest lately. For some reason I've had an enormous desire for our WLM to develop into a cuckold marriage/relationship. I've reached out to many in the cuckold community- wives, cucks, and bulls/boyfriends to learn more. I'm astonished to discover so many happy and successful cuckold marriages with these conversations.
ReplyDeleteWhen I mention that I'm in a WLM/flr, many in the community believe it almost can be fitting to step into a cuckold marriage as a next step. The wives are in control , typically, and sex with the husband is limited or restricted altogether... Which seems to be the case with many here. It's a whole other world in some aspects.
Moreover, I've had a casual discussion with my wife about the idea. Initially, I thought she would be angry and upset for even bringing up the idea. Yet to my surprise, she was not. She seems to process idea.
The post above illustrates a powerful and amazing dynamic.
Others thoughts?
t's definitely something that is in the back of my mind since my wife has taken complete control. I often wonder, does she desire an alpha male at least occasionally? After the amount of times she has seen me in humiliating situations I realize this is not a part I can play anymore. Knowing I have no veto power makes me a little scared this could happen.
ReplyDeleteMike, do you see yourself as a participant or like Mary's situation would she just go off and then come back to you and would you desire that she take all PIV privileges away and rely solely on the other man?-Alan
Mostly it would be her own personal private time. I actually offered to surrender all piv privileges with her. She smiled because she said I'd like that, but she said she enjoys cock too much too completely give it up.
ReplyDeleteWould you be open to this type of relationship Alan?
I don't know, it is the ultimate humiliation and that appeals to me. It's nothing I have ever pined for, nor has it ever come up in conversation. Since she has taken complete control she has done a few things without any input from me. She has really come into her own as far as a dominate goes. I know if she decided to do it I would be powerless to stop her. I think if I was replaced sexually that it would be very hard to take. To answer you question, I am not sure how I would react emotionally. Don't forget we want the details if it ever happens to you. Take care-Alan
ReplyDeleteIt would be quite the transition. Not one that happens over night of course.
ReplyDeleteYou don't necessarily need to be replaced sexually. Every possible dynamic occurs with the couples I've spoken to. I'm not sure if it's necessarily referred to as being humiliated either. But if you have a solid marriage, and can see the value it can potentially bring, it could be beneficial. It could simply be another outlet for sexual fulfillment in one form.
Great discussion. Hope to hear more
Cuckolding does not mean being replaced sexually. For some couples that may be true but for many others, it actually enhances and intensifies the sexual experience for the husband and wife (which has been Mary.s experience)
ReplyDeleteMz Kaylee
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree. If anything, perhaps it's empowering. Originally, long ago, I thought it was an excuse to exploit and sleep around. But there is an incredible dynamic that enfolds to add to the marriages and creates a new balance. A new thrill on all sides achieved.
Mz Kaylee , Mary .
ReplyDeleteI hope you are both well . Originally I was very confused by the concept of Cuckolding and why even the idea of my wife being with another man seemed to turn me on while
simultaneously turning me into an emotional wreck . After processing the experience I learned that it really has little to do with her sexual experience but rather her expression of power . Many men and women entering a WLM get the whole concept backwards . This lifestyle should never be predicated on the idea of the the man becoming weaker but rather the wife becoming stronger . Cuckolding is so powerful because the man is set aside in submission while the woman exhibits her power independently with the man of her choice. It is truly an incredible experience for the couple and one that reflects maturity of a wife living in a WLM. As I have stated many times before , I hate the idea of cuckolding as it is presented in the porn industry but I believe that a woman living and maturing in a WLM will ultimately embrace her power independently of her submissive and find it very natural to pursue other love interest . Cuckolding to the husband in a WLM is simply an extreme expression of power that we we find incredibly exciting and fearful all at the same time. It can be dangerous and is certainly full of risks but it takes the WLM to a completely new level of intimacy.
Take care,
John Dalton
I know if it was a situation like Mary's it would be a thrilling experience beyond belief. Kind of the black belt of WLM. I just look at the danger of bringing in a third party, a wild card so to speak. Even in Mary's case she says that she has kept the two worlds separate and prefaces it with "for now". Our roles have become so defined now that I know I would do what ever she asked of me and I am not sure at this point that hard limits would be respected. Hats off to anybody that can make this work, I am sure the feeling of submission would be over powering. In my case I just see this as something that may take us places I don't want to go. I really enjoy this discussion though.-Alan
ReplyDeleteDear Mary,
ReplyDeleteThis submissive is STARVING to hear more about how You got into this and what Your "nights out" are like. I love how You use the term "boyfriend" and also: "I also have kept him very separate from my boyfriend." I just love this sentence. Please if You can tell us more. How did it start? What was the first time like? Do You feel more empowered as a Woman? Women have so much more sexual power than men! I love to hear when Women claim their sexual freedom. Thank You! Thank You!
A poet
I apologize for my delay in response. I was a bit hesitant to write about my experiences here but am glad I did so. I want to emphasize that I am no expert in this whatsoever. I cannot say that enough. I can only share my own experience but even in that I will keep it somewhat limited mainly to ensure privacy. I will share whatever I can as long as I can stay private overall. I deeply appreciate hearing from others on this as it has been hard to get real life information.
Delete-This is what I can only describe as an "experiment". It happened organically (is the best I can describe it). I am a dominant personality female but many of the concepts and ideas around this are new as can be to me. I am learning every week. Kaylee has been an incredible gift to me as she is incredibly knowlegeable.
-You asked how it "began". Basically I am a bit "flirty" and I am sure a bit out of the box. I have always been quite confident with males in general. My husband is a solid man who is successful. I have come to realize that he has a very, deep submissive side and I think that is part of what "matched us" up. Not the whole deal but part of it.
-I don't know that this idea came in a day or a moment. It "emerged". I have long flirted "innocently" with guys. Then a particular "situation" came along. My husband is very submissive and I have learned tons about that and what that means just over the last year or two. I knew it before but not with the language and ideas I do now. Before I just knew I could get him to do whatever I wanted, LOL - and he did not mind. What I think I have come to learn is that he actually likes me doing "whatever I want". I am saying that in more of a black and white way than is right. I do not do "whatever I want" by any means.
-It is still "an experiment". My marriage is my priority and if this in any way did not seem ok or "work" for my marriage I would end it immediately. That said - what was "an experiment" has surprised me quite a bit. I anticipated a "fun adult adventure" - not something in anyway ongoing.
-The "first time" was actually oddly comfortable. There were simple "dates" before there was anything additional. So I got a sense of was this "okay" in a safer way (it is not like some porn thing as one might imagine).
-So, it was "fun" for me and "ok" for my husband but it has evolved into much more than that. More like "awesome" for me and actually very fun for my husband. His feelings are complex. I do not "involve" him directly in anything. However (and this is the weirdly surprising part) I find it has actually increased our closeness and we were already very close. I find I need be with him and "check in" both before and after a "date". It makes him feel part of it and close to me and it is an oddly "shared" experience even though it really is not. What I can say is that while, yes, it is "thrilling" - it is not like "the movies".
The craziest part is how it has worked well. I would not have guessed that at all.
-Mary
I'm a bit curious to see what ones fears are. Is it not possible for a wife to restrict sex withoutawithout limit, as it is,without cuckolding? If she wanted to go on a dinner date with a CO worker, does she have the possibility to do so?
ReplyDeleteEssentially,at what point would you say the husband has authority to object?
How much power are you willing to let your wife exercise as desired?
For the most part, sex seems to be the primary ( hesitation). If your wife wishes to explore and be satisfied in another way, by someone else in a careful, meaningful way as Mary expressed, do you see the value it brings to the marriage? It does not mean being replaced. It appears there's a stigma associated with the culture.
What if she falls in love with one of her boyfriends and would rather be married to him?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it possible for a wife/ hubs to fall in love with someone else in any relationship?
ReplyDeleteIf a wife in a WLM, restricted oral/ intercourse significantly or altogether... Would you love her less?
If you had to wear a cage 24/7, or social and personal time privileges revoked, would you love her any less?
If one is falling in love with a bf, unless it's planned to love both... Then the incorrect objectives of why that extra relationship was formed. I believe an adjustment or it ending would need to occur. The purpose was not met.
I’ve been blocked. LOL
ReplyDeleteI think the temptation is significantly increased, but hey at least it isn’t behind your back. I guess if the husband and wife are really committed to each other then it is fine.
ReplyDeleteI would completely agree that a marriage should be decently strong, stable, and secure.
ReplyDeleteHey guys , Cuckolding is about an empowered woman .She is simply in control ! Relax in the experience and follow her lead . If she falls in love and is happy with the new relationship then celebrate her happiness ! Will you become second in her life? Maybe! Will she leave
ReplyDeleteYou for her new lover? It happens even in vanilla marriages certainly it can happen with cuckolding. If your not emotionally prepared to handle this possibility then cuckolding is probably not for you. If you choose to encourage her in this direction then be prepared to experience the emotional ride of your life ! This is about submitting to her power and control at a completely new level !
Take care
John Dalton
Empowering is a good way to put it. It is not about the wife looking for love or losing love for the husband. It is a new dynamic that empowers the wife while deepening the husband’s submission. I wholeheartedly disagree that you should be prepared for your wife to fall in love with another guy (in the context of a married couple). That is not what cuckolding is and if it starts going down that path you should stand up and shout and put the breaks on. You do have a say as a guy and a loving wife should listen and respect your feelings. Listen guys, at the end of the day you are the one empowering your wife. Without your acceptance of her authority, there is no power.
ReplyDeleteCuckolding is complex and not for everyone. In my opinion It should not be entered into lightly and there needs to be mutual consent and boundaries agreed to before proceeding. Those boundaries may change but not without discussion. I know some of the readers of this blog are experienced with cuckolding. I hope they join the conversation.
I think what worries guys (what worries me at least) is that there is a general theory that sex for women entails more of an emotional bond than it does for a man, and that once a woman experiences that with another man, even if she doesn't feel "in love" there will be something present that will be hard if not impossible for her to just give it up or even "put the breaks on."
DeletePersonally I don't think I could go down this road with another man involved, for various reasons, mainly my own fragile ego most likely. That said I am drawn to the notion of my wife with another woman. I know she has had experiences in the (distant) past but I also know that she remains physically attracted to women (based on observations, her body language, etc). To me, this dynamic would feel less threatening to me on a personal level. I realize this is somewhat selfish, but to me for cuckolding to work it must be something both parties want equally.
Mz Kaylee, my comments about the possible outcomes of cuckolding were not intended as as planned or acceptable but rather to point out the unintended consequences that can happen even in a strong and loving WLM. Not unlike a fire that can warm you on a cold night but uncontrolled has the potential to destroy you . An empowered wife with the best of intentions can be caught up in the experience and succumb to her desires even as she continues to love and value her husband. What wife would seek out a man for her pleasure that she was not truly attracted to at some level ? Is it time to “ stand up and shout and put the breaks on “ if she enjoys the fruits of her empowerment? If at the end of the day there is no empowerment without the husband consent then this must be a scenario created and controlled by the husband. Thus there is no empowerment or submission .I believe the excitement and thrill of cuckolding comes from the incredible trust and bond that must be present when a husband surrenders to her desires and empowers her to fulfill her sexual desires even in the arms of another man. It would seem to me that If there is no power without a husband’s acceptance then there is no power at all . The women I find irresistible are not likely to seek a husband’s consent in having what they desire. Truly a man must accept a woman’s authority but a woman of authority will likely not waste her time on man that does not willfully respect her desires.
DeleteThe real point I am trying to make is that men entering into a cuckold relationship need to be prepared . In the excitement on a new relationship a women can easily get caught up in the new emotions often leaving the husband to be fearful and question the whole concept. Resist the urge to regain control and trust her in the experience . In time the fear and anxiety will fade and the relationship will likely be much stronger than before.
Take care
John Dalton
"The women I find irresistible are not likely to seek a husband’s consent in having what they desire." John - I am not sure what that means? If you are seeking a purely slave/Mistress arrangement then we are talking apples and oranges here. I am talking about Wife Led Marriage and committed FLRs. For something as serious as cuckolding, non-consent is not acceptable in a committed relationship. You seem to be caught up in the fantasy. Cuckolding is primarily a male-driven fantasy and most wives experiment with cuckolding at the request of their husband. The notion that a wife suddenly decides to seek a bf and turn her husband into a cuck is wrong but certainly a fun fantasy.
DeleteMz Kaylee.
DeleteI very much appreciate your comments and respect your views. I think our different points of views probably comes from the orientation of our desires, Long before the terms “Wife Led Marriage “, “committed FLR “ or “slave /Mistress” ever entered my mind I longed for a woman of power . Even as I was raised in a traditional home I secretly rejected the concept of male dominance and had pre adolescent fantasies of undressing at the direction of my female playmates . I did not grow into my submission as a young man because it was something my wife or girlfriend thought she might enjoy but rather sought out women of power to fulfill my core need to serve the woman of my heart. I completely agree that cuckolding is a male-driven fantasy and in my opinion not something that a wife in a FLR should ever consider as it is played out to fulfill his desires. This is why I hate the term “cuckolding “ because it’ reflects the male desire rather than female empowerment. I believe that as a couple matures in a committed WLM the idea of consent and non-consent fades as the woman grows in confidence and power. Few relationships ever mature to this point and remain in the fantasy realm with clear boundaries that clearly limit the the incredible potential of a WLM. It has been my experience that a wife maturing into power and dominance will reject the concept once she realizes that she is actually only a player in her husband’s Fantasy . I am not suggesting that a woman has the right to enter into a cuckolding relationship without her husband’s consent but rather that as the relationship matures it is natural to assume that in her dominance she will have the freedom to express her desires as she chooses . In his submission the idea of consent or control will be long in the past as he is wrapped up in her dominance and power.
Certainly it is wrong for “a wife to suddenly decide to seek a bf and turn her husband into a cuck “ . This could never work at any level. I believe cuckolding is a very mature expression of dominance and submission that will naturally occur at some level as the couple grows in the relationship . The women may never actually take another lover in the sexual sense but her freedom to do so will be a part of who she is.
Take care
John Dalton
John - thank you for the continued dialogue. This is a good discussion. Your points regarding the maturity of the relationship make a lot of sense. I agree that as the couple becomes more mature in the relationship there is less need for consent because they have built trust with each other and a strong loving bond and know each other very well. I could see a scenario in a mature WLM in which the wife pursues cuckolding with little discussion with her husband but it happens because the wife already understands that it is something he wants and desires. In a mature and loving WLM the wife would not pursue something that would be damaging to her husband.
DeleteThis was a great discussion. I agree that it detracts from the woman’s authority if she needs to request the submissive man’s consent each time she wants to extend her control a little more or try something new, but I don’t think that the need for consent ever fades. Instead, I think a mature WLM/FLR can move toward having consent established implicitly, where the focus isn’t on the woman asking for consent and the man giving it, but rather on ensuring that consent exists and remains in place. If you think about it, this is actually the way consent is most often established in regular life situations.
DeleteI see two ways that implied consent can be established in a WLM/FLR. The first is for the woman to make a small, incremental change without first discussing it with her partner, but then give him the opportunity to express if it is something he isn’t comfortable with continuing or repeating. In this case, the change should be quite small and not rushed together with multiple other small steps that add up to a large leap, it should be readily reversible without long-term effects, and it should not cross any boundaries the man may have established around what he does not consent to.
The second approach is for the woman to make it clear that she intends to do something before she actually does it, again making sure that the man has the opportunity to express his concerns. This comes a little closer to asking for consent, but still allows the woman to avoid undermining her own authority by explicitly asking permission from her submissive partner. This is probably a better approach to ensuring consent than the first one in situations where a significant line is being crossed or when the action can’t easily be reversed without lasting effects.
With either approach, if the man doesn’t express any concerns despite having the opportunity, or better yet, reacts positively, it is generally reasonable to assume that there is consent. It’s important, however, that the man knows that he can express his concerns and that the woman will listen to them, and also that the woman is able to trust the man to speak up before allowing the relationship to be harmed.
Jason , I appreciate your comments but I think your approach would diminish the whole point of a FLM. One of the biggest issues that couples face in a traditional marriage is the lack of leadership by either partner. The whole concept of a 50/50 relationship is a disaster. A FLM enables the couple to live in harmony with a clear purpose and direction . She embraces dominance and provides the leadership necessary for harmony while he supports her in submission. While I agree that there must be general agreement about the terms of a FLR ,I would think that both partners should have a clear understanding of their respective roles. I just do not see submission or authority in your comments but rather the same confusion that occurs in our modern marriages.
DeleteTake Care
John Dalton
Jason - what you are describing is more like strategies that women can use to lead their husband down a certain path. However,the implied consent is a valid concept for WLM and in my opinion exists once there is agreement to to enter into a WLM/FLR (similar to John's point above) and so in general it is not something that needs to be revisited or tip-toed around for every decision. The reason I brought up consent in this thread is because cuckolding is a significant and fundamental change in the relationship and marriage with many risks. In my opinion it is not something that the wife should move forward wit, without first making sure her husband can emotionally handle it. I also agree that submissive guys should feel comfortable speaking up if they have concerns, with the caveat that guys should not abuse this right by raising insignificant concerns or things that they just don't like.
DeleteMz Kaylee and John — Thank you both for your responses to my comment. There is so much that can be said about consent and hierarchy in a WLM/FLR, and by trying to address such a complex issue in a few paragraphs, I think I gave the wrong impression about the amount of attention that I think needs to be paid to consent. I think it happens organically, not with the woman constantly checking to make sure she has consent and the man constantly considering whether he will give it.
DeleteTo Mz Kaylee’s point that what I described are, in fact, strategies women can use to lead their partners down a certain path, I completely agree. My point is that what those strategies do is gradually expand the man’s boundaries so that he doesn’t get scared off and put his back up (refuse consent). My long-winded post is probably better taken not as an instructional guide to consent, but rather as making the point that this style of relationship is consensual, not because the couple may have agreed to it at some point in the past, but because consent is constantly playing out without anyone realizing it.
I also fully agree with Mz Kaylee that, while submissive guys should feel able to speak up if they have concerns, there is an expectation that they don’t abuse it by raising a fuss about things that they just don’t like. That’s where the dominant/submissive dynamic (and the mutual understanding of each partner’s role John pointed out) really comes into play, because even though the reality is that he always has the option of putting his foot down and saying no, he submits to the woman’s authority over him. In doing that in the absence of deception or real coercion, he is consenting. This is also where the woman’s dominant attributes and strategies come in, because she is able to use them to get him to submit/consent to things he may not want to.
I should also clarify that when I said the man should have the opportunity to “express discomfort”, I didn’t mean to suggest that any expression of discomfort should be taken to mean that he doesn’t consent. Obviously, submitting to things that are uncomfortable is part of this kind of relationship, and my soft choice of words missed the point. To clarify, what I meant to convey is that he should be given the opportunity to make clear that the boundary of his consent has been reached.
I hope this does a better job at getting my opinion across, and I would be interested to hear your views and continue the discussion.
Agreed with Mz Kaylee and John.
ReplyDeleteThere's opportunity with empowerment and submission.
For us, regarding sex, it is purely for her- for her orgasms. My cock and mouth are simply tools that provide that.
Do I enjoy sex? Yes, of course. Do we have sex for my enjoyment? No. I wouldn't even say the purpose of sex is for us to intimately bond. I'm sure it happens but that's not the mindset either of have going in. She simply wishes to have her orgasms. I'm not allowed to ask for sex or to cum.
When she wants it, sometimes, she'll text me to come to the bed room. That's the only communication needed. I'm to immediately remove her underwear and give oral as expected, unless otherwise stated. There's never any kissing, foreplay, touching etc. When she's finished, she gets up, says thanks and goes on with her day. I say thank you for the privelage.
We found it a little funny that we joke how " efficient" she likes to be. Me to orgasm, has no benefit to her, so it doesn't happen. And she doesn't like the texture, smell, clean up of cum. Hand/ blo jobs aren't beneficial to her, so they don't happen. Which also means no tease and denial or panties or corner time. I realized she doesn't take her top off for sex (oral/piv). She made a comment that it's an extra step not needed to take. We both smiled. I can't honestly remember the last time she was fully nude. My focus and attention is to be on what's below her waist. All because she likes to be efficient and have it her way. Love it.
This is my role and the value I bring. All of this was reaffirmed and communicated recently.
If she finds someone else to give her better orgasms, then more power to her. I'm sure someone could. That would be their role and value. And I've encouraged it. None of that gives me any insecurity, or fear on how strong our marriage is. It would not be for a romantic outlet, if so I think there would be underlying issues one already in a marriage, regardless of cuckolding, that should be addressed.
Perhaps this circumstance and role I have is unique to me/us. But it works. Wife is happy and I've been submissive as she wishes. I've had about 2 full orgasms for 2020 and she doesn't have a date for the next one if need be. This has not changed my role, value or the degree of being submissive to meet her requests. Everyone should just take what works for you and find your balance. There's always ground rules and expectations set forth communicated in Any relationship.
As it was written before, hubs are not entitled to sex, it's a privelage. If you understand that, then it's a bit easier to see, wife can do as she pleases, even how to get her orgasms. If you think you're entitled to sex, well I suppose cuckolding would be difficult to grasp.
Hope that helps. Great to hear others perspectives.
Mike - I like the way your wife uses you for sex. Love the whole ritual when she texts you. My hubby loves it when I call him up to the room, make him strip, make him give me an orgasm, and then send him on his way. He is my sex toy and similar to your situation, his sole purpose with sex is to pleasure me. Orgasms for him are rare.
DeleteRegarding cuckolding, it is a much different dynamic because you are introducing a third person into the relationship. It is great that you are open to it but as you said, it is not for everyone and you have to stick with what works for you,
It is interesting how many things are the same in a WLM. If I am outside she will call me, if I am downstairs she will call from the top of the stairs "Alan I need an orgasm". This is my cue, if I don't have my cage on already, to go put it on and go to the bedroom. Often after she has had a couple I am dismissed with "thank you, you can go now. The most exciting times are when she says "hand me my rabbit and go downstairs". Listening to her continue on her own reminds me that even though I am not allow to masturbate anymore she has no such restriction. I was told many years ago sex is for the pleasure of the wife, period, and any thing I got should be considered a gift. Take care- Alan
DeleteDoes anyone know what happened to Thomas Lavalle. His blog has been removed. This happened about 2 weeks ago.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14687936.Thomas_Lavalle/blog
Deletethis is new link to Thomas blog
I found that link a few weeks ago. The link is showing the last entry from his removed blog. Nothing new. Goodreads is a book selling site.
DeleteMs Kaylee makes an excellent point. Aside from our loving devotion to our Dominants, our submission and selfless service are cherished and not something they would want to lose. Maybe being a cuckold is the ultimate gift of devotion and submission.
ReplyDeleteA confident, dominant woman knows that it is her decision whether she wants to have multiple men in her life. Her partner really doesn't have much to say if that is her decision. He must accept it. If you are romantic with your partner and make her feel important, beautiful, and desirable, then it doesn't matter how many boyfriends she has. She will never leave you.
ReplyDeleteAgain, more fantasy then reality in my opinion. See my comments above. I do appreciate the discussion and would love to hear more thoughts on the topic.
DeleteI just want to say that I enjoy your blog very much. Your advice on training men to be obedient, loving and submissive is top notch. Since I have recently discovered your blog I alike to read all your past topics. You are a very intelligent, confident dominant woman. I look forward to learning even more. I love to obey, serve and pamper my partner.
DeleteThank you Mrs. Mary and Mz Kaylee! Great to get some insight into cuckolding from the Wife's perspective! Loved Mz Kaylee's comment on empowering, it's a very valuable outcome! For me, the main focus would be: are there other benefits for the wife (besides empowering)? Do Wives need an affection/love that subs can't provide?
ReplyDeletei've fantasized about it, but it's not something that my Queen is interested in. For cucks, i think the benefit is 'external validation' of our submissive role, not only through the power of the Wife having a boyfriend but also the 'power' that the boyfriend has over the cuck.
I could understand why Ms. Mary’s husband would want to please and submit to her even more. I think I would feel the same way. It would be like competing for her love all over again like when they were dating. You want to be the best man you can be for her. When you are in a relationship a long time sometimes you tend to take your partner for granted. Having to compete for her love and affection makes you try harder to please and pamper your partner.
ReplyDeleteFrank , I agree with your comments . I have always been attracted to women that were confident and enjoyed being pursued as part of an expression of their femininity. I never wanted a woman that could be tamed and under my finger . I enjoy knowing that other men find her desirable and like the challenge and privilege of earning my place at her side daily.
ReplyDeleteTake care
John Dalton
I agree John. Confidence and intelligence are very sexy qualities in a woman. I enjoy being led by a woman in a relationship. I’m sure your wife is totally devoted to you. I know you treat her as a Goddess.
ReplyDeleteHere are my sub's perspective for cuckolding: i love my Queen being empowered and desired by others, and also 'submitting' to other's authority.
ReplyDeletei had the beautiful experience of declaring my love to Queen and She basically saying 'yes, but i have other plans'. i thought it was a 'No' but She kept me on hold (She let me know it was NOT okay for me to go out with others). She then expressed interest in a popular guy at College so i had the opportunity to set them up (as i knew him). Things didn't work but Queen saw my loyalty and search for Her happiness above my interests. Just yesterday, She not only remembered that, but She shared with me an attempt a (famous) guy made to go out with Her. She was extra glowing when talking about it!
As for the authority towards others, Goddess has let me experienced it towards a couple of male authorities. With one (many years ago) it was disconcerting to me She shared some intimate details from us, so there was a feeling of both humiliation and respect towards Him. The second one is current and i've lived it 'better', making my Queen proud of my submission towards Him, just the way She wants. There's nothing romantic between Them, but She wants to make sure i know He has authority over me.
From afar, i see cuckolding as a game that has boundaries, like in BDSM where you would expect dominance but not abuse.
Here's a good read on the cuckolding dynamic:
ReplyDeletehttps://drvaleriachuba.com/cuckolding-whats-women
Thank you, Mz Kaylee! i feel like regarding cuckolding -and all matters- we need much more of the female perspective.
DeleteMz Kaylee, I think we all kinda agree on the origin of Cuckolding in a WLM but I would love to hear comments from the group on why it is different from a affair. An affair has the potential to destroy a relationship while cuckolding can actually enhance a couples love and desire for one another. I believe a secret affair is an act of selfish independence While cuckolding is an open expression of power and submission that the couple intimately share together. I am sure that to some couples this may actually mean together in the physical sense but this would never be something I would want to experience. Knowing that my wife has the freedom to engage with men outside of our relationship is powerful all on it own and drives me deep into submission. Just the teasing value is incredible and can add a new level of excitement to a relationship. I think the fear men and women find in the whole concept is caused by the idea that a woman can find pleasure in the arms of another man without letting go of her love for him . Certainly it can happen but the secret to success is in the approach . Done independently while pursuing her desires is simply an affair . Done in openness as an act of dominance has the effect of engaging his submission and fulfills both of their needs.
ReplyDeleteTake care
John Dalton
I think if you understand and agree that you are not entitled to have sex with your wife-that it's a privilege, (which was written previously), cuckolding may be easier to understand
ReplyDeleteWe went over the 11 year mark this past week and in that time my wife has very much leaned into the fact that I need to be open and honest with her, but she has no such obligation. She has also become very comfortable making decisions without any input from me, so I would assume this would go if she decided to have sex with someone else. With that context if she decide to have an affair with or without my knowledge it is nothing I haven't already agreed to in principal. I always can come to her if I have a concern, but I am often told that the decision has been made for me. I would assume cuckolding would would come under this banner. Where as an affair in a vanilla marriage is a breach of trust, in a WLM it is not. I have already agreed to it by pledging my submission. Stay Safe- Alan
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your anniversary Alan! Your commitment and trust to your wife is commendable. In the past, have you and your wife ever discussed cuckolding or her seeing other men? Sorry, if I missed this in previous comments. There are so many, I sometimes lose track of who said what. Thanks!
DeleteMz Kaylee
DeleteWe have never formally discussed cuckolding. Let me try to clarify my position on this. Yes, I am a submissive man and I do see this as the ultimate submission. And the idea of my wife being pleasured by a well endowed alpha male and me licking her after word in the place that an other mans cock has been, presumably after a blood test without a condom, which adds an other dimension to it, really turns me on. Fantasy and reality eventually cross paths. Taking Covid off the table I start to think what about STD's? What if this guy is a stalker or can't keep his mouth shut? What if he comes to my house or I find him in my bed? What if he wants to dominate me?
At this point I have the relationship of my dreams, I am living my fantasy. My wife is enjoying her dominance and I feel bring an other man into the mix could ruin a perfect marriage. That being said if this is something she wanted I would support her, because that is the commitment I made to her so many years ago now. Thank you for your interest-Alan
My conclusion: cuckolding needs to be both accepted & known. An affair is hidden (and not really accepted).
ReplyDeleteAccepted: cuck's acceptance goes from either pure obedience to wife's authority, to understand that sex is a privilege, to total acceptance/thankfulness from the cuck to the wife/bull for providing something cuck can not provide.
Known: from just knowing it can happen to fully know and participate in all details before/after, as Ms Mary describes.
Ms Mary's cuckolding is successful because it's in the high side of being known and accepted.
John and Khorinna - I agree with your thought process on affair vs. cuckolding. It is wild how an action (wife sleeping with another man) can have two completely opposite effects (one really bad and one really good) when experienced from different perspectives (affair vs. cuckold).
ReplyDeleteYes, very opposite effects! Thanks, Mz Kaylee, these discussions make your blog great!
DeleteIn a femdom relationship is the woman usually the breadwinner?
ReplyDeleteFrank, WLM or FLR has nothing to do with who is bread winner. It is a dynamic modern lifestyle where a husband puts his wife's needs and demands first. She is his first priority. If she earns more or less or if earns not at all doesn't make any difference. Whether She earns more or less she is always the BOSS and her husband is her loyal slave and servent.
DeleteI understand what you are saying, but I don’t think I would suffer the humiliation of being cuckolded if I was the breadwinner in the relationship.
DeleteFrank - my husband is the breadwinner in the relationship. Many breadwinners and men in power are submissive in their marriage or seek out female domination/dominatrix. For them, being under the control of a woman outside of work is a stress reliever. Then can just let go of their responsibilities and enjoy it and not think it all.
ReplyDeleteFor my husband, my perspective is that as my submissive husband, he works to earn money for me to spend. He works so that I can had a better life so his work is just an extension of his servitude to me.
Mz, Kaylee, I like the way you keep your husband focused on his responsibilities at home. By directing his actions and making sure he completes his chores on time and to your satisfaction. Kind of what his supervisor does at work. Of course, you use different rewards and punishments than his supervisor, but they are probably even more effective at obtaining the desired results. I think women are great Leaders at home and at the office. I always worked harder to make a female boss look good. I miss having a Goddess/Mistress correcting my sometimes undisciplined behavior.
DeleteYes Mx Kaylee, your marriage is an ideal relationship because it works for both of you. It satisfies you and your husband. I believe women are natural Leaders in business and at home. I enjoy obeying women. I like to work hard at my job and then come home to cook and clean for my Lady. I like to pamper and please her. If I was disobedient then I was disciplined or humiliated. I would be required to earn her trust again. I was in a femdom relationship for about 3 years, but not currently. For me personally, I need to feel complete devotion from my dominant partner and so I don’t think being cuckolded would work for me. Is this something your husband would agree to if you wanted it, Ms Kaylee?
ReplyDeleteFrank, in my relationship the breadwinner is irrelevant. All money goes into her account which I have very monitored access to. Beyond a tank of gas or a cup of coffee I need to get permission. Me having a debit card is a privilege, one that can be revoked if need be. My wife having the ability to shut off my money and my releases would make it much easier for her to get my blessing on cuckolding. If you want a humbling experience watch thousands of dollars of what used to be your money go into an account and get told no on a $40 item. Granted this happens very little, but when it does it reminds you where you stand.
ReplyDeleteI truly love this lifestyle, but it's not for pussies. Stay safe- Alan
It’s not even necessarily being the breadwinner in the femdom relationship. It is just having the financial resources to leave the relationship if you are forced to accept a situation that goes against your own values. Thanks for your reply, Alan.
DeleteMz Kaylee ,
ReplyDeleteDo we have two Franks posting on this thread ? If not , I am understanding the frustration Women feel when her husband’s Submission is hot and cold ........ but I would like to hear your response to his question if it is not too personal.
Take care
John Dalton
Frank - cuckolding is not for everyone. There are many submissive men who would not want to be a cuckold so you are not alone in your feelings about this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I have no interest in cuckolding so I can't say one way or the other whether or not my husband would agree to it. I know he has fantasized about it but that does not necessarily mean he wants to do it.
ReplyDeleteMy Queen is also NOT into cuckolding. For me, it's a fantasy but i discarded it as it goes against my Queen's wishes.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the breadwinner, as for others, for me is just another way to serve my Queen. We are in what i call a 'vanilla WLM' and i do the payments but i ask/report to Her every transaction. She indeed had access to control my account before we were married! Recently She remembered that we didn't want to bother our parents at all and She said "I remember you worked really hard for me for 2 years to pay for everything!". That's how we see it: i have a job but i really work for Her.
I agree with you, Mz Kaylee. Just because I am submissive doesn’t mean I don’t have limits. It comes down to personal choice and what my dominant and I are both comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteGreat posts
ReplyDelete