"Is there anything I can do for you?"
My husband has started to ask the above questions daily and sometimes he will ask more than once in a day. A year or so ago, I had made it a rule that he ask the first question every morning. This lasted for several months but overtime, it lost it's appeal and faded away. What impressed me this time is that he started to ask these questions on his own, without direction from me. Instead of just following a rule, he is sincerely inquiring about my needs. He wants to server me. He wants to make me happy and make my day better. It thrills me so much when he asks me these questions. Sometimes I will respond with a task for him to do or about how I want him to keep a good attitude and keep up with his chores and sometimes I will let him know that I have nothing at this time but will let him know if something comes up.
So many times submissive men are focused on how they can get their wife to be more strict and dominate with them and they are not even thinking about what they can do for her. It's ironic that submission is about serving another, yet a lot of submissives are focused on getting their wife to do things for them to satisfy their own pleasure. Guys - if you find yourself in that cycle of always wanting more domination from your wife, then it's time to flip your perspective and start asking her what you can do to please her or make her day better. Asking the above questions is a way for you to show your appreciation and commitment to your wife and reinforce her dominance and authority over you. It has been refreshing for me to have my husband show he wants to serve me and it makes me feel like a real Goddess. When I feel that way, I enjoy the WLM even more and it gives me good reason to want to continue to exert my dominance over him. So you see, by asking what she wants, in the end, you get what you want.
Give it a try!
-Mz Kaylee
Great words as sub it's my duty to please my mistress but your so right us subs are selfish. We should only think of mistress needs 24 _7
ReplyDeleteExtremely interesting and at the same time simple approach. I'm going to suggest to my lady. It's worth a try. Thank you for the inspiration.
ReplyDeleteglow
Beautiful post
ReplyDeleteMy wife had this "talk" with me years ago while explaining that many times a male submissive is actually being quite selfish in how he expects his relationship with a dominant female to play out. In other words he only views the power dynamic from his point of view/turn on. My wife explained that to the extent she was ever strict or dominant with me it would probably be because I was failing to either anticipate or listen to or respond to her needs correctly. Even for a naturally dominant woman, she explained, it takes a lot of energy to exert this dominance that generally is better spent elsewhere. She also said many times she wouldn't feel like being dominant even if she expected complete submission on my part. This included, as the post points out, me asking her what more I can do in an effort to constantly learn her needs and better anticipate them. A perfect submissive should never need to be dominated she says because he is always aware of what his mistress needs in the present or the future.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this, Mz Kaylee. It's great to see it working.
ReplyDeleteI tried it in our vanilla WLM and I stopped it because of the feeling I was being pushy or weird. But just recently Queen had a serious talk with me about things not going very well, and I think this comes at the core of it, very inspiring!
Thanks all for your comments. I’ve been having difficulty using comments but it seems to be working fine now so hopefully no issues going forward.
ReplyDeleteIt's more vanilla but I always ask "Do you need anything while I'm up?". Or "I'm heading to the ___ can I get you anything?"
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd share...as stated above I'm already in the habit of trying to anticipate my wife's needs but I generally don't explicitly ask what more I can do to "make her day better". So I asked her last Friday. Her plans that evening included having two friends of hers over for drinks and snacks on the deck, and I was to be "off" for a few hours to do what I pleased (this was her initial idea). But when I asked this time, she gave me a funny look and thought for a minute. Her face lit up, and she said I could hang around, prepare food, clear plates, refresh drinks, etc. while they talked. She did not want me hanging around them however, and decided if I came outside every 10 minutes or so that would be best. I spent the afternoon and much of the evening waiting on them. When they left my wife thanked me for asking what more I could do, said she was going to bed, told me to clean up and do the dishes, and that the following day she'd offered that I'd clean one of the friend's basements while the two of them went out for lunch.
ReplyDeleteMz Kaylee. Following-up on your post main question, I think another key question is: 'what is it that subs can't provide to their Doms in a WLM?'
ReplyDeleteIt has taken me years to walk the path of true submission and it's been a 'rocky' road. The first years, the main issues were with me trying to be my sub self while at the same time playing the husband/dominant role brought social and personal 'benefits'. A second stage was me walking as a sub while trying to 'push' her up. I realized we were a sub/sub marriage and although between us she is dominant, she still had her sub nature unfulfilled. At some point we had some talks about fulfillment and she got into a religious group. I naturally resisted the hierarchical structure but she was set to it and indeed wanted me to join.
I discovered the group not only gave her strength in her faith (which I couldn't) but that it had a few people providing leadership (which I couldn't). It also took me time to realize that to fully accept her leadership I had to accept that I couldn't fulfill those big needs, and that indeed I had to be thankful that they were providing something I couldn't. One key point in my wife taking over was when we traveled to meet her leaders. In a sense, I feel it was there I finally submit to their hierarchy and she saw it in person, and from there our marriage was refreshed, I think something clicked in her and maybe the way she sees me. She's been our leader since then, and she recognizes/reaffirms it. Being below-par (nothing big) since COVID, I've been trying my best to get back and we've had some talks where I am surprised on how she talks about it. While giving her a foot-massage and admiring her beauty, I couldn't thank her enough for her leadership, and we talked about what we could have done differently. I told her I'd have recognized her and submit to her as my Queen openly from day 1, and she said: 'yes, we lost a bunch of time with you realizing that, but also embracing my group has given me things that you cannot provide'.
I wonder what else are we sub husbands not providing to our Wives?
What a beautiful sweet post
ReplyDeleteJust a simple thing I can say..thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is really an amazing post Mz Kaylee, and it is absolutely true. I just now came accross this post and can tell you from first hand experience that this is true:
ReplyDelete"What impressed me this time is that he started to ask these questions on his own, without direction from me. Instead of just following a rule, he is sincerely inquiring about my needs. He wants to server me. He wants to make me happy and make my day better. It thrills me so much when he asks me these questions."
Coincidently I had begun doing that for my beloved Mistress K. and she feels much the same way you do about it. I can't wait to read this to her in our Sunday mornings review of pertinent and useful blog material I have come across that week.
Thank you for your blog. We both love it!
This is just so excellent and absolutely true Mz Kaylee. Coincidently I had begun to ask my beloved Mistress K. that question at least every day, and several times throughout the day. The results have been incredible and Mistress K. couldn't be happier with and prouder of me. I can't wait to read this post to her in our Sunday morning review of interesting, relevant and useful blog/internet findings during that week.
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